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In this episode TruthSeekah speaks with Alonzo Pichardo about overcoming PTSD and Fear Based Trauma. Many people are living life with Trauma from things that have happened to them as children and is still affecting them way into their adult lives. Alonzo shares his story and gives the listener encouragement of how they too can overcome past hurts and live in total victory.

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[music] [music] Won’t You Come Come These Faintest And When I Don’t Be Don’t You Come [music] [music] Locked Into The Truth Pickup I Gasp Scream Eli And You Figure God Your Source For Spiritual And Inspirational Music Paintings And Media’s The Show Is Designed To Help You Grow In Your Walk With Christ And Advance The Kingdom Of Heaven And Now Your Truth Freaka Yo What’s Up Ladies And Gentlemen You Now Tuned In To The True Seeker Podcast Want To Thank Everybody For Hanging Out With Us Today We’re Gonna Have A Great Discussion I’ve Got Some Awesome Topics Of Interest To Speak To My Good Friend Alonzo Pichardo We’ll Go Ahead And Welcome Him To The Show You Guys See His Beautiful Mug Was Going On Alonzo I’m Alright Man How You Doing Hey Brother Dude Thanks For Coming On The Show Especially Last Minute Man Had Some Stuff Come Up With My Last Guest So We Have Been Talking About Doing A Show Anyway And You Was Available Man So Thanks So Much For Coming On Hanging Out No Worries Man Always No Worries That’s What’s Up I Want To Give A Quick Shout Out To The Patreon Who Have Or Patrons Patreon Whatever Who Have Signed Up For Support For This Month So We Got Steve Payne Shout Out To Steve Payne Thanks So Much For Believing In The Vision And Herb Childs Are Like Catches Almost Every Livestream That We Do So Thanks So Much Herb For Hanging Out And Supporting The Vision Man It Means So Much That You Guys Get Behind What We’re Doing With The Music And The Podcasts And Everything It Takes Money To Run What We’re Doing Here To To Run And Use All This Equipment And Host The Podcast On On Lipson And Itunes And All That Stuff So Huge Thank You And Shout Out To You Guys For Helping With That So If You Guys Want To Help Out At Any Level Of Giving Anywhere From $1 To $1,000 A Month Whatever You Feel Led To Do Whatever You Can Do $1 Fine Man I Got Like 14 Thousand Followers On Facebook And If Everybody Gave A Dollar Dude We Can Accomplish So Much With The Vision And Put So Much Behind The Art And Creativity And Doing What We Wanting To Do So You Go To Patreon.com/scishow Seeker And Let’s To Music That Is Not Even Released Yet So There’s Unreleased Music As I Finish It I’m Uploading It To There As Soon As We Get Done With Music Videos They’re Uploaded To There And This Is If You Get Access To It Before The General Public Even Gets To Hear It Like Months Before Before It’s On The Album Before It’s On A Music Video Or Anything So Thanks So Much For You Guys Doing That Man It Means So Much So Back To The Topic At Hand My Good Friend Eliza Pichardo Man Um One Thing About Alonzo And Like One Thing About The Podcast Instead Of Calling It You Know True Secret I Mean The Mythos Is Podcast Or The Trolls Podcast Or Whatever Trying To Promote Something Different It’s Just Labeling It Under True Seeker Podcasts Because I Just Interview People Who I’m Interested In People Who Are In My Life People Who I Believe Would Be A Great Conversation And So Me And Alonzo Talked Pretty Much Every Day And We Talk About Anything And Everything Like We Talk About Spirituality Metaphysics Jesus All The Way Down To Marketing And Strategies For Promoting What We’re Building Online So We Just Have This Awesome Friendship And I Thought It Would Be Awesome To Showcase His Story And Just Let You Guys Be Able To Sit In On A Conversation That We Have Daily So I’m Going To Talk About His Story A Little Bit And Where I Want To Start Alonso Because There’s So Many Places We Can Go Because I Know Your Story Man And It’s The Stuff You Haven’t Told Me Right But An Awesome Place To Start Would Be Where You Came To Relationship With Jesus Christ Because This Story Is Different For Everyone And It Sticks Out For You When We Have This Conversation Is That We Have Had A Different Different Paths To Get To The Same Point And You Came To Faith In Christ Through The Mormon Church And Where I Came To Faith Through Was Like The Assemblies Of God Charismatic Movements Type Stuff And They Would Demonize What You Were Involved With They Say No You Know Jesus Is Not Involved With The Mormon Church There Are A Cult There’s No Truth In That You Need To Get Out Of That As Quick As You Can But When We Talk We Have A Very Similar Story And You Have Have Had Very Real And Intimate Relationship With Jesus Man So If You Want To Set That Up Brother How You Came Into Faith In Christ Through The Mormon Church That’d Be Awesome Well Um You Know My Story Man I’ve Been On My Own Since I Was 15 I’m 37 Now So You Know I Was Kind Of That Kid That Was Kind Of Uh Lost You Know Not In Terms Of Lost Emotionally You Know And I Fell Into Watching You Know The Whole Cliche You Know Watching A Televangelist On Tv Watching The 700 Club And All That You Know And I Was 16 Man I Was Working At Brown University Man And One Night I Prayed This Was Like I Was Just 17 Going Into 18 And I Said To Sooners Prayer All That You Know Um And I Literally Man I Said Man God If You Want Me To Go To Church Present You Through Church To Me And It’s The Truth Man It’s Not A Cliche Brousseau It’s Just 100% True Anyways I Said That And Then The Next Day Who Knocks On My Door But The Mormons And Um Anyway So My Whole Thing Dude Was I Really Wanted To Be Baptized You Know And Um So I I Started With Them For A While And Then I Started Going To The Church And Then I Was Baptized But Then I Fell Into Where I Started Visiting The Church For Two And A Half Years I Was A Part Of The Church And Like I Said Man My Experiences Were Nothing But Good Experiences I Have Nothing Bad To Say I Never Seen Anything Weird You Know Like They Tend To Say I Think Out Of All The Out Of All The Religions That I’ve Studied With I Started With The Mormons Jehovah Witnesses Evangelicals Anything I Started With Them All But Out Of All Of Them The Mormons Were The Ones That I Felt The Most Christ-like Love Man People That Genuinely Cared I Mean They Will Beyond The Extra Mile For You When I Was Hospitalized Once And They Were There Like Every Visit They Were There Hey Man You Okay Everything Good I Like And You Know So It Was A A Genuineness That Came From Them And Um And I Still Lived There Still It Still Brings Good Memories To Me When I Think Of Them To This Day Because Um No Beautiful People Man And That Was A Good Three Years Of My Life That I Spent With Them And I Decided To Walk Away Not Because Anything That I Seen Is Just Because Me Man I’m Not I’m Not A Guy Where I’m A Follower I Like Doing My Own Thing You Know I Think I Think The Majority Of People Who Watch And Have A Similar Story Where They Were Involved With A Religious Organization Or A Church And Most People Who Follow The Work That I Do There They Can’t Drive In A In A Place Of Control Like That And Like A Structure Or Organized Religion Not That We Like Disorganization But The Hierarchies And Things That Come Along With That But Um Talk I Guess Give Us A Little Bit More Inside Look Upon It Man What Was Some Of The Stuff That You Did You Talked About Your Your Your Baptismal Session Or Procession Or Like Um Saying What What What Did That Entail I Was A Typical You Know You Go Into A Little Pool There Such A Big One And It Was The Only Thing That With The Moments Is Very Private Your Baptism Is Up To You Who You Want To Invite You Know You You Invite Who You Want To Invite Because Consider Something Holy And Sacred To Them So I Didn’t Invite Nobody Because I Don’t Have Family So The Only Ones That Were There Were Like Two Of The Elders Were Missionaries And I’m The One Who Baptized Me And Bishop So Altogether Three People Were Watching And The Elder That Baptized Me Yeah You Talked About Like Um I Don’t Know If We Would Say Different Levels Or Different Yeah Because You Said That You Guys Would Come Together And They Would Pray For Different Giftings In Abilities To Be Released In Your Life Like To Be Able To Hear From God More Clearly To Be You Know These These Different Giftings And Stuff My Talk A Little Bit About That Because Because Like You’re The Only Person That I’ve Heard Actually I’m Saying Say That I Don’t I Don’t I Don’t Hear That And Yep They I Don’t Know I Guess When They Start To Know I Don’t Know How It Works Out Because Uh The Only Gift That I Got They Call It They Call The Gifts They Tend To They Call You And It Was A Nerve-racking Big For Me Man I Was A You Know 18 Year Old Kid And They Call You Out In Front Of The Church In Front Of Everyone To Have His Ceremony Done So You Sit Down And They All Lay Hands On You And They Anoint You With Like Oil Yeah I Was Blessed With Like What They Call The Priesthood In Like Prophecy Yeah They Literally Do They Don’t Go To Go And They All They All Pull Out Their Oil And Each One Of Them Anoint You Was Three Of The Elders And I Was Blessed With Like The Priesthood And Um Something With Like The Prop Gift Of Prophecy Something Like That We Saw So Whenever You Talk About The Priesthood Did They Use The Termed The Priesthood Of Melchizedek Was That A Term That Was Used I Guess Okay Awesome Yeah That’s The Priesthood Of Christ That’s The Priesthood That Christ Is Under Like Christ Has A Hierarchy That That That He’s Involved With And It Is These Guys When They Were Baptizing Me Man They Went Tears As They Were Doing This Yeah And To Me I’m 18 I’m Like You Know But Then They Explained To Me The Importance Of This Blessing And What It Meant Um Wow That Sticks Out To Me Is Because We Did Similar Things In The Charismatic Churches They Would You Know Ask God To Reveal To You What Giftings And Talents That You Have Within You And For You To You Know Be Released Into That Gifting And The Scriptures Actually Say That On That It Says It Says To Lay Hands On One Another So That You Can Stir Up Is The Term That You Stir Ups The The Gifts Of God That Are Within You So Whatever Is Within You Taxi Pray For You Lay Hands Anoint You And Bring That Gifting Out And So That’s What You’re Talking About Right Yep Yep And Then It’s Um You Know Shortly After You Know Because It’s Just My Nature I Walked Away From The The Faith And But After That And I’m Not Lying Man After That Certain Things Started Happening In My Life Certain Spiritual Experiences That You Know I Don’t Want To Touch On But Where I Can’t Deny You Know The Truth Of Who God And Christ Are You Know Every Time I Don’t Eat Deep Deep Stuff Random You Know Can’t Don’t Really Want To Talk About Wherever Every Every Time You Talk And I Talk About Even Face Even Faith Is A Weird Term For Me But When I Bring That Up To You We Talk About Belief In Faith You Always Correct Me Because There’s A Difference Between Having Faith In Something Faith Is Is Having This Belief And In Hope That Something Might Happen Right Um But But Knowing You Talk About Not Having Faith In Jesus Or Faith In God But Knowing Them Intimately You Don’t Have You Don’t Hope That They Exist Or Maybe They Exist Maybe You Know You Know That They Exist Man Talk A Little Bit About The Difference Between Faith And Knowing Yeah That’s Something Like I Always Get On You Have Now Always Get On You Betcha When You Believe Yeah This Is The Word Believed To Me Equals Uncertainty You Cannot Store You Believe In You Hope So Yeah You Know And When It Comes To God In Christ Is You Know It’s A Knowing You Know At Least With Me And My Personal Experiences With With Them It’s Like I Know I Don’t Believe You Know Because You Believe In Anything Until Something Else Better Comes Along You Know Yeah Let Me Ask You This So People Are Asking In The Chat So Yeah Just A Quick Shout Out To Everybody In The Chat We Got A Bunch Of People Watching Live Right Now On Youtube And Facebook So Shout Out To Everybody People Are Asking About The Gift Of The Holy Spirit So We Talked About Laying On The Hands And Says You Shall Receive The Gift Of The Holy Ghost When You’re Baptized Or In Prayer And There’s Different Levels To That Sum Is When You’re Baptized Some Is When You Have This Confession Or Profession Of Faith Um And Some Is When You When You Actually Lay The Hands On Them So Was There Emphasis On This Estatic Encounter Like You Oh The Bliss And You Feel The Presence Of God Overwhelm Your Body And Cleanse All The Wrong You’ve Done Do You Feel That In Your Physical Body Was That A Nice Attack Mormon Church That Was A Deeper Emphasis The Holy Spirit And I Did Feel When I Walked Out Of There Man I Felt Just New Man You Know What I Mean My Mindset Was Different Too I Mean I’m A Typical Puerto Rican Man I’m Very Passionate And I Sometimes I Cuss A Lot But Dude I Want Like A Good Two Years We’re Not Even A Cuss Word Man And It Wasn’t Even Like Done Consciously People Like Hey Man You Know But You Know Because I’m Like No You Know And My Behavior Just Changed And My Views Toward My Guess How I Viewed Life People I Saw Beauty And Everything Man So It Did Spark A Huge Change In My Mind And My Outlook On Life You Know So That Is True Man I Did Feel That That Renewing Of Your Mind Like They Say You Know Yeah And I Don’t Want People To Get It Twisted Because You Did Say That You Walked Away From The Church But You Didn’t Walk Away From Your Relationship With With God In Christ Oh Right No No No Never I Talk To Them Every Day Man That’s The Only Thing I Have Brother Yeah Without I Couldn’t Imagine Life You Know Even Though You Know People Know Us Cuz We Joke With Each Other Yeah But I’m Like Dude I Live In A Certain Way Like If You Viewed How I Lived Ladies Dude Is A Monk Or Something You Know But Um I Couldn’t Imagine A Life Without Them Because They Brought Me This Far Considering How I Grew Up Man You Know That’s Powerful Man That It’s It’s Something That’s A Part Of You And It’s So Weird That There’s A Lot Of People With A Similar Story That’s Why I Feel The Need To Interview People Like You And Have These Discussions Is That People Have These Similar Stories And I Don’t Know About The Mormon Church But I Know About Many We Could Say Cults Or Whatever And When I Say Cold I’m Just Talking About A Fringe Group Of Believers You Can Be Charismatic Or You Can Be In Assemblies Of God Or Whatever But Whenever You Leave These Small Groups Of People A Lot Of Times They Demonize You Or Whatever And A Lot Of Times They’ll Say Like If You Don’t Go To The Church If You Don’t Come To Our Church Then You’re Not A Part Of The Church Like The Body Of Christ And That’s Totally Backward Like People People Think That They Go To Church Yeah I’m Going To Church To Sunday Know That That Whole Thinking Is Totally Back Backwards And It’s Not Scriptural Not As Far As Meeting With Other People Of Like-minded Faith But You Are The Church You Are The Temple Of The Holy Spirit And The Spirit Of God Dwelleth Within You So There’s A Lot Of People Who Will Feel Like Condemned And They Feel Like They’re Out Casted And Things Like That Because They Are Not A Part Of That Church Structure You Know I’m Saying So Talk A Little Bit About That Man About Just Like Have You Felt A Backlash I Think You Even Told Me That They’ve You Know I’m Saying That They’ve Contacted You And And You Know Saying Checked On You And Stuff Like That But It Wasn’t A High Sylheti Or Nothing Right No Man These These Cats Men Even After I Left Man I Mean Like Maybe Five Years One Of Them Just Appeared Where I Lived But I Have I Wasn’t Home And My Brother Was Like You Know So-and-so From So-and-so Visit You You Know I’m Like Now Remember His Name His Name Was Elder Twit His Last Name Was Twitchell His Name Was Elder Twitchell And Dude This Man Was Like The Most Sweetest Individual Ever New Man I Mean We Became Like Brothers And That Man Five Years After I Left That The Faith Just Came Out His Way From Connecticut To Visit Me But You Know Sadly We Missed You Know But Um He Thought Guys When I Think About Them It Brings A Smile To My Face Man Because It Was A Good Time And Strong Bonds Were Were Made But Sadly You Know His Life Goes On We Drift Apart But These Were And They Were Guys Around My Age If Someone Our Year Younger Than Me At The Time You Know And They’d Sacrifice Two Years Out Of Their Life To Do This You Know And And And You Feel The Genuineness To What They Do Like They Is It Comes From Place Of Selflessness Where They Really Do I Mean They Here Rather You Know And They Show A Man And It’s Not Like There’s A Hidden Agenda Like They Just Trying To Get Numbers We Get Members Like A Judas Catledge Like The Bishop Who Preaches You Know Every Sunday He Does Not Get Paid All The Money This Earn Goes To Different Organizations That They Donate To And Even Then The The Missionaries They Live Off A Hundred Forty Dollars A Month Is Given To Them Yeah Say Oh You Know Rema Cockpits Ran Out You Laugh At That Quote But Obviously They Read This Carpet Okay So This Is A Good Transition And In A Healthy Transition As Well A Good Friend Of Mine I Guess A Mutual Friend Jonathan Hardy Yes Yeah He’s A Friend On Facebook And I He’s Probably Mutual But He Says This Guy Is Totally Different From His Comments I Am Totally If The Man You Got Understand I Like The Joke Factory Me Personally I’m A Behavior Sir Away Yeah But We Do Like To Have You Know Our Pranks Man The Things We Do To One Another Yeah And People Don’t You Know That Was A Big Thing And You Kind Of Helped Me Overcome That About Not Wanting People To See The Joking Side Or See The Human Side Or See The Struggle Side Because Doing My Music Over A Certain Period Of Time And It’s All About These Aesthetic Awesome Experiences With God With Angels Aliens Metaphysical Spirituality Meditation All That Stuff Which Is Legit And All Of It Is A Part Of My Life But There’s Also The Part That I Like To Have Fun I Like To Play Video Games I You Know I’m Saying I Like To Do Fish Log In With My Family And That Well I Love To Laugh Man Exactly Roo That’s What I Love The Left Know This Experience You Know Because This Journey Of Mine Hasn’t Been The Easiest So Laughing Darkly I Just Love It Man Even If It’s The Silliest Things Man I Just Love It Yeah Laughter Is A Medicine And I Always Say Though That We Have To Be Able To Laugh At This Stuff Because If We Don’t Some Of It Is So Crazy It’ll Drive Us Crazy Like If You Take Yourself Too Seriously Like It’ll Drive You Crazy Man When When Things Don’t Line Up So You Have To Be Able To Left Laugh At Yourself Laugh At Some Of The Things In The Belief System That You Follow That Don’t Add Up You Know Some Of It Is Hilarious Man And And We You Know We Do Joke Around A Lot But When I Started Showing That Side Of Me Some People Got Upset They’re Like No You’re A Spiritual Leader You’re Spiritual Guru Like You’re The Person That I Look To For Affirmation There’s No Way You Can You Can Be Funny There’s No Way You Know I’m Saying So I Had To Almost Pretend To Be This Other Person That I’ve Almost Created Through My Music That Part Of Me Knew That Because I Am That Like I Am The Guru I Am The One Who Prays And The One Who Seeks God Diligently But There’s Also Decide That We Like I Like To Play Basketball I Like To Tell Jokes I Like To Make People Laugh All Day When I’m Around My Family My Wife And Daughter Like One Of My Big Goals Is To Make Them Laugh Because I Love To See A Smile Brought To Them Yoky We All Have Different Sides You Know Cause Like With Me People Get Get Like Like People Just From Looking At My Pictures Think I’m Some Angry Intense Guy Get You Eat Me I’m Like The Biggest Clown You Ever Meet Yeah So Even Though Y’all Have Points In Our Time There’s Time To Ya Know Quit Dragging Our Feet And Be Real You Know Yeah It’s So Innocence It’s A Weird It’s A Weird Dichotomy To Actually Draw The Difference Between That And Like Okay Do I Let Them See That Side Of Me Or Do You Only Get To See The Spiritual Side That’s All You Get You Know And I Think That’s Kind Of A Lie Though Like You Should Get The Whole Package And See How The Spirituality Helps In My Day-to-day You Know In How Laughing Helps In My Day-to-day And How Marketing Is A Part Of My Life And How Doubt Sometimes Is A Part Of My Life And Stuff Like That Like They Should Be Able To Get The Full Picture To Really Like You Can’t Appreciate I’m Read The Cover To Give John Judo Saying I Can’t See It Better Judo Says Angry Alone So We’ll You Know He’s Joking I Love John Judo Man Has A Beautiful Individual Even I Could Choke You Out I Know Right That’s What People Say When I Talk Talking To Watchmen About John Judo The Other Day And Watchman Was Like Dude I Talked To I Talked To John Judo And He’s So Meek And Peaceful And Humble And He’s Like A Killer He’s Like A Trained Killer You Know Like Yeah Yeah Yeah But He’s Just So Humble And Meek An Insult And Soft-spoken So Shoutout To John Judo Man Yeah Dude Um But Yet So You Helped Me Even With The Name Of The Podcast A True Seeker Podcast Oh You Know I Don’t I Got To Have Another Name Let’s Call It Mythos Is So People Feel Involved If People Feel Like It’s Something Other Than Me Or Whatever But Essentially You Kind Of Helped Me Out Man Through Motivation And And Just Telling Me Not To Be Afraid To Be Myself Man That’s Huge That’s Huge Man It Really It Is It Is Because Um That’s When It Comes You Know When You Use You’re Just Yourself You Know You Start Seeing People Flocking To You You Know Instead Of Trying To Fake And You Know Being Something You’re Not Yeah Um There’s Just So Much To Say But But Just Be Just Having This Level Of Authenticity To You That And Those Who Support You Those Who Love You Like They Love All Of It It’s So Weird Man Because Even On The Other Spectrum Of The People Who Only Know You Like These Guys Who Some People Are Seeing You For The First Time Here They Only Know You What The They Only Know You As The Troll They Only Know You Comes In Know You As The Guy Who Tells Jokes And Stuff Sort Of Seeing A Spiritual Side They’re Like Wait You Know They Can’t But That’s The Funny Thing There’s So Many Sides To Me That’s The Market Of Webdesigner Haven’t Even Seen A Mark On John They Haven’t Seen That That’s Not Done With You My Own Personal Story Which You Know It’s Like Beyond Anything You Seen In A Film You Know So It’s Like I Dig It But You Know We All Have Size To Us Man Yeah It’s Weird Cuz Part Part Of Use Like Okay You Can’t Have Those Size Because You’re Essentially Double-minded Maybe Split-personality You Have These Other Personas That You Take On But Essentially You Supposed To Like When You Go Into The Business Realm When You Go Around Professional People You Can’t Be Around Them Being You Know The Alonso That You Are When We’re Hanging Out Just Us Like You Can’t You Have To Change Your Conversation You Have To Change The Way You Talk Maybe The Way That You Pronunciate Words Like It Is It Is Different Man And It’s Not You Have To Come To Terms With That It’s Like It’s A Part Of Life You Know That’s A Bit It Was A Big Thing For Me Man That’s Why I’m That’s Why I’m Staying On The Subject A Little Bit You Know It Was A Huge Thing For Me To Even Name This Podcast What I Call It And To Be Able To Have Fun And That People See That And To Be Able To Be Spiritual And That People See That You Know Yeah Man You Got To Be Yourself Man You Got To Quit Worry About Others Opinions Others Opinions Do Not Matter The Only Opinion That Matters Is Your Own You Know You Know Trust Yourself Trust Your Gut Instinct Man And You’ll Succeed At Whatever You Want To Do Online Or Offline That’s Not That’s Something I’ve Always Said To You Because I Understand Men You’re In A Different You Know You’re Know Yeah You’re Christian You’re A Hit Christian Hip-hop Artist So Understand You Got To Toe The Line But You Can You Can Also Be Yourself Man And I’m Half On And Um You Know Because A Life Without Humor Man It’s Not A Life You Know Yeah Um Be Jumping Off Bridges And Laughter Goes A Long Way Man It Really Does Really Does Um Can’t Take Yourself Too Seriously But Yeah To Kind Of Get Back On Your Story A Little Bit Talk About Your Upbringing Man You’ve Told Me Some Things In My Prick You Said You Know You Did Say That You’re Willing That You You Know You’re Willing To So Close So I Want To Talk About Your Upbringing Because I Have Look I Think That I Think That That Um To Your Fans At Least I’m A Handsome Boy They’re Gonna Hopefully They’ll Get What I Get Today Hopefully Their Buddy You Know Meet The Announcer That On Today Um You Talked About Your Upbringing And In There’s So Many Places We Can Go There But First Of All Talk About Your Brothers Man Because You Come From A Family Like What’s What’s The Next Oldest Brother To You Like What Who Like Like What’s The Difference In The Age It’s It’s Weird Because We Can Go It We Can Go You Know This Brothers I Have In New York One Of The Pieces You Know But They’re My Siblings From My Father’s Other Marriage Then The Ones That I Was Raised Next He Was Your Right Here Yeah The Ones That I Was Raised Next To My Mother’s First Marriage My Oldest Brother’s 60 Years 61 Years Old Yeah And Then This Area And Then The Second Youngest After Me Would Have Been My Sister But She Passed Away You Know It’s My Brother Who’s Some 52 52 So That’s Our That’s Almost 20 Years Right Yeah Almost 20 Years Older Than You Your Brother And You Talked To My Mother’s But Mother’s 81 You Thought You Talked To Me About Um Dealing With Your Brothers And Dealing With Them You Know Being Left Alone With Them Not Even Being Left Alone Because You Talked About Some Things That Would Happen In Front Of Your Mother Man Um Drama And A Reason I’m I Want To Bring This Up Is Not To Point A Finger But To Say That Oprah Moment Here Mascot Right I Mean I Had The Same Same Encounters And You Don’t Say With My Brother That You Were Bullied And You Were Beat Up And Essentially Tortured Like Used As A Punching Bag I Was I Had Getting Almost Custody I Got My Well You Know Um I Wasn’t Bullied Man These Were Grown Men Yeah You Know Exactly Hunching A Little Kid And Beating The Hell Out Of Me Man It Was You Know So I Grew Up In An Environment Dude Where It Was Constant Like You Know It Was Times When I Would See My Brothers Will Be Like This Yeah The Ptsd Man Yeah Man You Know Everything I Did Was Either A Name Call Or Punch In The Face Or Slap And It Was It Primarily Two Of My Brothers You Know That Always Did That To Me You Know So Um And Then My Mother I Don’t Know Man She Wasn’t Really A Protector She Was In A Provider Either And My Father Was A Piece Of Trash Guy Who I’ve Never Seen To This Day I Never See Him Yeah You Know He Was Never A Part Of My Life So I Don’t Consider He I Considered Him Someone I Know Even When I See Him There’s No Mr. Word There’s No Connection There’s No Connection It’s Just An Uncomfortable Feeling Of Being Around That Man And Um I Don’t Know Because He Has He Has He Himself I See Him So Has A Total Seven Children You Know Including Me And Seven Children My Mother – Including Her She Has Seven Children And But My Father He Raised All Six Of His Kids And Ara But He Never Did Anything For Me He Just Left You Know So You Know He He He’s Someone That You Know I I Have I Don’t Love Him And I Don’t Dislike Him I You Know What I Mean Yeah They’re Gonna Have No Feelings Towards This Individual So Let Me Ask You This Cuz I Have A Very Similar Story I Really Don’t Know My Dad He Walked Out When I Was Like Two Or Three I Had A Weird Thing Is I Have Memories Of My Dad Like Imprinted When I Was Two Or Three You Know I’m Saying That’s The Weird Thing To Me But He Walked Out As Well Um And I Was Tortured By My Brothers You Know When My Mom Would Go To Work We’d Be Left Alone With Him And He’s About Seven Years Older And He Was Watching Us When He Was Ten We Have To Stay Home With Him And He’d Lock Us In Dresser Drawers You Know With Sock Drawer He Put Us In The Sock Drawer Make Us Lay Down And Shut It And Leave Us There For Hours Trunks And Stuff Like That You Talked About Oh This Weird Feeling That I Felt Because I Was Sharing It With You And You Was Like Yeah I’ve Been There We Talked About Having This Older Man Your Older Brother Okay Well Lay On Top Of You And Try To Suffocate You With A Pillow And You’re Screaming Into The Darkness Of The Pillow As A Child Thinking You Were Gonna Die Because You Can’t Breathe I Remember That One Vividly Man That Happened T90 Those Then I Remember Like It Was Yesterday Man They Were All In The Living Room I Don’t Know What The Hell I Did Bar My Bag Get Yanked That Get Pushed Around And Then He’s Like The Crazy Noises Little My Mom One Of My Brother’s Was Just Out Of His Mind But Um He Was Even More At That Time So He Would Do He Did Something Where I Don’t Know What I Did Hit Me Then Pushed Me On The Couch And Took The Pillow And Literally Put It On My Face And Sat On Me With The Pillow On My Face Yeah My Mother Just Sat Just Stood In The Doorway Of The Living Room Just Observing Yeah And I Remember When He Finally Let Me Go Man I Just Ran Into Like This Little You Can Even Call It A Room Just State I Was On Reading Here In The Comments And Uh Kimberly Is Saying That She Had A Very Similar Childhood And She Had To Disassociate Herself With People From That Time So She Cope With Life Right And So That Um She Says That She Assisted She Says I’m Like That I Have To Focus On Colors Every Second Near To Help Me Stay In The Now And Um I Want To Talk About Like Going Through That Trauma And Having A Safe Zone Because You’ve Talked To Me Yeah They’ve Talked About Like Maybe They Would This One Thing That Would Save You And It Is Comical But It Is Really But It’s Gonna Hope You Don’t Leave Me The Tears That I’ve No No This This Time Sounds Cheesy It May Sir It May Sound Cheesy To The Audience Man But This Is Like Mind You This Eighty This Is Late Eighties Early Nineties I Don’t Do This Anymore I’m 37 Years Old But I Used To Watch Wrestling So There Was A Character Called The Ultimate Warrior Over Here And You Know It That Dude Man I Hope I Don’t Cry Man If You Make Me Cry But That Dude Man It Was Like When You Look Pop Up On The Tv It Was Like An Escape For Me And I Did I Told You Man Like When My Brothers Used To Beat Me Up But Too Little To Tell You The Tough Yeah Does So That Dude Man When He Would Pop Up On That Tv Like My Mind Will Like Yeah I Felt Safe Even Though It Wasn’t I Thought He Was Gonna Help Me But Like You Can Call On Him In Those Situations Like If You Like You Don’t You Only Need To Call On Him If You Have To Like There’s One Day That I’m Gonna Call On Him And You Guys Are Gonna Be Sorry That’s What I Used To Tell My Brothers Better For It So Tell The Ultimate Warrior And Do It In The Hand Of God I’m Not Lying And You Can See Passed Away In To His Website And I Commented My Little Story On His Website And His Wife Happened To Read It And She Replied Back To Me Man And I Told It And Hum I Told Him What What But They What That Character Meant To Me And My Upbringing And You Know She Sent Me Some Nice Feedback Off Of That Man And I’m It Really Meant A Lot Because I Would Have Loved To Have Met That Man Because I Woulda Cried Like A Little Girl It’s Out Of My Story Like His Character Meant Because It Was Like A Protection You Told You Told Me About This Get Back Here Sometimes Too Man Told Me Enough This Is Loosely He’s Still Alive But When You’re 10 And 8 You Don’t Know No Yeah No Yeah Yeah Man You Don’t You Can’t Physically You Can’t Physically Defend Yourself So For You Know For Me I Think My Safe Zone When I Was A Kid Was My Dad Because I Didn’t Know Him Excuse My Language To Me He Was He Couldn’t Be A Piece Of Shit Like He Was A Savior He Was Somebody That If I Ever Got To Go Live What My Dad Things Would Be Better But I Didn’t Know That He Was An Alcoholic I Didn’t Know That All Of These Things That Were Going On As A Kid Right Just Like You Don’t Know That The Ultimate Warrior Maybe Had A Drinking Problem Or A Drug Problem Or Put His Hands On Women Or Whatever He Did That Would Tarnish Your View Of That Character Right So In Those Traumatic Moments You’ll Say Okay If I Have To This Will You Know I Could Do That Um To Two Places I Want To Go With This Is That Now The Safe Zone Is Jesus You Know I’m Saying Like He’s Who We Can Call On And It Is No Theory That One Day I’ll Call Upon Them See That’s The That’s The Place We Get In Trouble But When We First Call Upon Him And When We Go Through Any Trauma Or Any Fear Because Like You As A Grow Man Like The Ptsd Even Though You’ve Dealt With That Stuff And You’ve Put It In Certain Places And You’ve Gotten A Lot Of Healing Over The Years There’s Still Times That That Can Affect You As An Adult And You Have To Call On Jesus Like You Do I’m Sure You’ve Been Talking About This You’re Reliving Because You Have A Photogenic Memory Man And You’re Taking Back To The Time Place When It Happens And I Mean Til I’m Getting I’m Fighting Back Tears As Well Talking To You About This Stuff So I Know So That’s What’s So Beautiful About Jesus They Say Jesus Is A Crutch You Know Some People Say It’s Like Yeah Well He Can’t Be A Crutch For People Who Are Broken Man He Is In Like You Coming Up Without A Father I’m Sure It’s Like Like Me The Lord Says I’ll Be A Father Unto The Fatherless So You Can Know The Creator Of The Universe In This Intimate Way Pretty Much Do This Motherless – Because My Mother You Know We’ve Brought We Have A Relationship Now Yeah Yeah I’m Almost I’m Keeping Up On Always Had A Love For My Mother And I Tend To View It Differently Now You Know She Did The Best With The Little That She Had You Know We And I Had A Coward For A Father Who Just Left You Know And My Mother Was A Woman Who Was Working In A Factory Man I Mean A Factory From Like The Weekends Man She Will Wake Up At 4 A.m. And Walk To Work Yeah You Know The Money We Will Always Get A Lot Our Electricity Cut Off I Never Had A Bad Brother I Never Had A Bed Growing Up I Slept On A Box-spring And Before That I Slept On A This Couch That The Cushions Were Worn Out Man You Can Feel The Springs On Your Back Literally Because No One Gave A Damn Brother Yeah When It Came To Me No One Cared You Know That’s A Lot Of It This Is A Lot Of Children Man And You’re The Last One No This Will Grow Man Already I Was Just Little You Know But These Were You Know Sad To Say I Love My Brothers – Still And That’s The Weird Name Is A Part Of It I Still Love These Guys You Know What I Mean But Um These Were Grown Bum Man That Was Still Living At Home And I Was Ten Eight Nine Ten And Um So Yeah Man It’s Um It’s The But I Made It Through You Know I Made It Through Through All That And Then Goodness A So Much More Happen After The Age Of 15 After I Went Off On My Own Yeah You Know So I Just Wanna Let Everybody Know That The Phone Lines Are Open If You Guys Want To Call In And Chime In On The Conversation If You Have Questions As Well The Phone Lines Are Open To Do That The Number Is In The Description Of The Video And Scrolling Across The Bottom I Do See We Have Callers On Hold Now We Will Take These Callers Here In A Little While So Just Be Patient With This I Know We’re Getting Deep Man This Is Stuff That We’ve Talked About Before And I Just Wanna I Like That You Know We Have Everything In One One Episode Man One Interview Because Some Of The Stuff Is Spaced Out In Several Interviews We’ve Talked About But You Were You Were Interviewed By The News And You Were Um I Think Hurled Geraldo Contacted You This Yep Certain Um Thing That Had Happened To You Man If You Want To Talk About Her Aldo Yeah I Was On His Radio Show And I Did A Be A Satellite Interview With Him Yeah My Sister It Means Were Murdered In Yeah Crazy You Know She Was Murdered By Some Guy She Had Broken Up With Over A Year And He Broke In And I Murdered Her And My Little My Niece Who Was 25 At The Time In The House In Front Of The Children They Were Murdered So Yeah And You Were The Only One Who Was Trying I Was He On I Was The Only One That Was Vocal Because You Know In Puerto Rican Culture Man I Don’t Know You Know I’m Not Your Typical Puerto Rican It’s Like People Are Just My Mother I Understand She Didn’t Know Better You Know I Mean She’s You Know She’s Grieving And Then They Heard My Sister Was Just Super Close And I Was Close To My Sister Two Men We Were Always Texting Each Other We Were Always Choking That Was Our Relationship When We Did See Each Other Was Always Like Me Grabbing Her You Know Machine While Your Hair Off You Know Help That Was Our Relationship Because She Was My Older Sister If She Was Alive She Would Be Turning 45 But I Thought I Always Felt Like The Older Brother Yeah She Was Always Coming To Me Like Because They Call Me Ralph Who Say Hey Ralph Figure This Out For Me Can You Do This For Me Was Like Constant So I Loved Her The Pieces Madness Still We’re Still Unreal You Know She Sent Her My Niece Are In A You Know In A Cold Grave You Know When They Should Be What Right Now That Would Be Working If They Were Alive You Know So That That’s Something That Um You Never Get Over Yeah You Get You Move Forward But It’s Like Another Piece Of Your Hearts Ripped Out Had To Be Hard Man I’ve Talked To You Several Times About It Oh Yeah Madeline Said You Know It Was Like What Yeah That Was A Sibling That You Were The Closest To As Well Right Because You Have I Love This I Love To The Pieces Man All These Brothers And Sisters But The One That You Were Closest With Was The One That Had Happened To Right Yeah Man We Because Some We Had A I Don’t Know We Were Like Buddies You Know That Was Our Relationship Man We Were She Was Quick To Crack On Me But It Was Done In A Loving Way You Know What It Wasn’t Done In A Mean-spirited Way I Was Quick To Crack On Her But It Was All Done For The Place Little Love And Now You Do That With Me One Another You Know Now You’re Always Cracking On Me Alonso A Nice Book You Did It Too Bad Good I Get You Good Get Me Good We Can’t Talk About What I Okay It’s Flag Man I Can Do That I Got A Great Sense Of Humor Man I Know Man Yeah And We Need That Man Um And It Was There’s Another Instance Of That That Stood Out To Me You Talked About Being Home Coming Home After School And Walk In The Door And What’s There He’s Gone She Just Left No No No Nothing Man So Mine Young I’ve Just Mid Mid 15 Like Central High School In Providence From Providence Rhode Island And Um I Get Home Hungry By My Shoot And I Gotta Be No Food Here So That You Know I Get Home No One’s There So I Sat Around I Sat Around The House For A Good Three Hours I’m Okay No One To Call No One To Communicate I Don’t Know What’s Going On You Know But Then I Don’t Know Where Like Maybe 8 8 P.m. At Night Or Something My Older Brother The One Who Sin Of 60 Shows Up And Um Today I’m Like What’s Mom All She’s Not Coming Back I Mean Where Is She She’s Not Coming Back And She And Then You Know He Told Me What Happened And Yeah Member He My Older Brother He Stayed With Me Man He Said Listen She Wants Me To Leave You Alone Here Too And Not Come Back And But I’m Not Gonna Do That Mistake Here With You So He Stayed With Me And Then You Know I’m A Quick Even Then Man I Am Like I Am Now On Your Thumb I’m On My Toes Man Like All Right Oh I Gotta Find Someone It’s Gonna Happen I Gotta Make Something Happen So I Remember This Older Lady I Knew Had This Like Three Three Three Story Home And I Went To Her And I Explained To Her My Situation Man You Can’t Really Work Back Then Till He Was 16 So I Explained To Her That Night I Went To Her House And I Told Her What Was Going On She’s Like Okay I Have This Little It Was Just Everything Was In One Room In This Apartment Man I Mean I Could Like Turn Off The Light Turn Off The Sink Flush The Toilet With My Foot That’s How So Just I Got This Little Room Up There You Can Stay There Until You Turn 16 And I Was Like Two And A Half Months Away From Two Months Away From Turning 16 So She Let Me Stay There And I’m From Sector 16 Man I Went To Like This Little Temp Agency They Gave Me A Job And I Than Odd Jobs And Then I Finally Landed Working At Brown University Did That A Few Years We Thought You Talked About Like Um Minimum Minimum Wage Was Like So You Know Long About Whenever You Found Out That Your Mom Left Didn’t You Quit School The Next Day Like You Never Went Back I Had I Had Add To Something Say Alright Work Or Be Homeless Drop Out Of School There Was Really No Yeah So And I Was A Decent Student Man You Know I’m Just Always I Always Been Quick To Learn Because Learning Is Easy All You Got To Do Is Pay Attention That’s How You Learn You Know You Talked You Talked About Um Having A Phone Call And Actually Talking To Your Mom That Night Yeah She How Did That Phone Call Go She Basically Said Well It Was Just Some Vicious Thought Out Of The Air Not Like Stuff She Was Saying And I’m Like Well What About Me You Know I’ll Call Your Dad Like I Don’t See My Dad I’m Gonna Call My Dad Really Know The Guy I Can Say I’ll Tell Him To Help You But Mind You My Brother’s Already Here He Was Already There He’s Like You Know And I Was Crying Imma Care But She Was Saying That She Didn’t Want You And She Wasn’t Your Mother Anymore Right All That Stuff Man She’ll Just Be Ambitious And You Know And I Went After That Happened Man I Went A Good Two Years Two And A Half Years Without Seeing My Mother Until You Know My Brother One Day Appeared With Her At My House No Study And Even That Man I Went Another Two Years Without Calling Her Mom I Was Calling Her By Her Name Yeah You Know How Was That Having How Bad What Was That First Interaction When You Say That This Up That Day He Brought Her My Java Stub This Is No Lie Brother Cuz The Minimum Wage Like I Told You Was Like 525 550 It I Was Surviving I’m Alone And This Is So Salami Sandwiches And Cornflakes The Vibe Enough I Had Long Hair Up By Like A Hundred And Fifteen Pounds At The Time 15 Years Old 16 You Know Your Body’s Changing You Know But That Dish I Didn’t See Her For Like Two Years So I Was Already Turning Eighteen Nineteen She Comes With This Big Old Bowl Of Like Food And You Know Me Trying To Be The Angry Angry Guy You Know I’m Like Oh Get Out Of Here Get Out Of Here You Go But In My In The Back Of My Head I Was Like Man When It Got Me To The Week In Enforcing Such Good Yeah Man This Rough Man Is That Intelligently When She Did Show Up Yeah My Brother I Said Get Her Get Her Out Of Here But Then She Came Back Again And You Know Move Forward From There You Know Tell Me Where She Lived Him You Know We I Would Go Visit Here And There You Know So So How’s That I Mean Your Relationship Now She Said You Know Now You Have A Loving Relationship I Know It’s I Know It’s Hard To Forget Man But You You Got To Kind Of Prepare Yourself Mentally Around Them And You Can’t Like Blame Them You Kind Of You Have To Look At Them For Being A Victim As Well And See What They’ve Been Through And What Made Them Do That To You But For You To Still Be Able To Be Around Her And Call Her Mom And And Still Love Her Like Talk A Little Bit About That Like Your Relationship Now I Love My Mother Now You Know Cuz I Understand You Know Cuz You Know You Look Back At It You Look At Her You Know Her Age Now You’re Like She’s No She’s 81 And You Say You Know You Look And Then You Learn And Then As Time Went On You Learn About Her Own Upbringing How She Was Raised You Know My Mother’s A Puerto Rican Woman You Know And A Black Puerto Rican Woman At That You Know So She Was Raised In A Different Type Of Environment Like In The 30s And And Fifties You Know Because My Mother Came To America In 1952 She Was Like 15 16 Years Old You Know She Always Was Raised Almost Like Feeling Less Than And Pretty Much You Know It’s Kind Of Like You Become The Parent That Your Parent Was Almost You Know For Some So She She Treated Her Children How She Was Treated You Know So But Um After I’ve Forgiven Her Man I Love My Mother You Know So Every Step On My Ibew Her With A Lot Of Love And Then I View My Mother Has A Very Strong Woman To Man Because Of All The Losses We Had We Lost A Brother In Sister And Niece And Just You Know All The Losses Within The Family And Just To See Her So Strong And Still Here You Know Upright And And Even Her My Mother My Mother Has This Intense Way About Her But Great Sense Of Humor You Know Nothing She Wouldn’t Do For Anyone You Said She Doesn’t Talk Though She Yells Right Oh Yeah I Could Just Picture That Man You Know Uh You Know I Do A Little Impersonation Of Your Mom All The Time Yeah Yeah Louis Yellin Dude Yeah Mom Calm Down I Said Ma I Told Her So You Should Have Became Like A Box Or Something Yeah What Was The Good You Know Yeah Uh There Was A Story You Told Me That You Had So Talking About Hanging Out With Other Friends You Know And That Was Weird For Me To Like Cuz I Come From A Broken Home But As A Kid You Don’t Know You Don’t Know It That’s Just Life To You And You You Adjust You Know But Then You Find Out Your Friends Are Treated Differently Your Friends Have A Loving Father In The Home I Remember Spending The Night With Some Friends And Their Dad Was Wrestling With Them Like Like Picking Him Up And Body Slamming Them And They Were Jumping On I’m Trying To Talk Them And Like I Was There And I Did It Too And It Was So Weird For Me To Be Interacting With Their Dad Like That And Like I Didn’t Have That You Know I’m Saying And I It’s So Weird To Took Yeah Like You Don’t Know What You Have Until It’s Gone Or Until You Don’t Have It I Was Able To Experience Like Man This Is Normal For People They Have A Loving Father Like I Wish I Don’t Know I’ll Ever Have That You Know I’m Saying So Exactly Men Yep You Talked About Having A Really Close Friend And His Father Was I Still Like That He’s Not My Friend That’s My Brother Run You Know Yeah His Name Is Greg And His Dad Is Called It We Call Him Big Greg He’s A Big Dude He’s Like Six Five Yeah And Even Though Greg Himself My Friend He’s Pretty Big Too He’s Like Six Too But You Know But Yeah Man Growing Up I Met Him When I Was Like In 1990 I Was About Ten And He Was Like Nine Eight Or Nine In The Fourth Grade So For Fifth Grade We Met And I’m Yeah Man We Became Really Close Man To This Day You Know Sadly You Know Certain Things You Know Life You Know Such As Anything In Life You You Don’t Really Drift Apart But You Don’t Hang Out Like You Used To That’s Just Look You Know Yes Children And You Know Me We Don’t See Each Other Everyday But That’s Like His Dad Was Someone Did I Just Love The Pieces Man How Was It Going Over To His House And Being Like Man You Got A Bed You Got A Bad Dog What Can I Say In A Bed Do It Up There Was Times And I Thought I Know What I Was Talking To His Mom About This You Know I’m Grown Now And So I Shared Things About With Them Now I Said You Know What I Used To Try To Hang Around Extra Hour Later Just So You Guys Can Offer Me Some Food And His Mother Teared Up Over That’s Like Why Didn’t Just Tell Us You And You Know I Used To Try To Hang Around As Late As I Could Just To Get It Because You Know They Were Always Very Much Ready To Offer You Know Mike All Right It’s Six O’clock Right Let Me Hang Around To The Feed Dinner Which I’ll Cook Over Dinner Like They Say It Was But You Know Even My Friend Man And He’s A Real Tough Guy Man Emaii You Know When We Talk About Those Days Because He’s Seen It Himself The Stuff I Wind Recycle And That That Was Something When I Last Saw Him He Told Me That He Always Admired That About Me Because He Saw What I Went Through And Not All The Friends We Had Along The Way The Only One That Didn’t Go Down Sampath Or Do Certain Things With Me I Didn’t Really Follow The Crowd Yeah Out All Of Them I Should Have Been Like The Most Angry Violent Dude You Know I’m Like You Should Be The One In Jail You Know You Get All Right Making Mistakes Like Other Statistic Oh Yeah Yeah Like Other Mistake Like Some Of Our Other Friends Have Made Sadly Is This Is This The Same Friend Whose Dad Bought You The Sega Genesis Yeah But You Know That That’s I Want To Say The Positive Side Of That Okay I Was I Know We Got We Got I Said The Story Up To Those Two People About Touch On The Positive Side Of That Because I’m Honest I’m I Never Really Got I Never Really Got Anything For Christmas Ever Yeah Like The Owner Would Give Me A Little Gift Ever Was My Brother Michael Who Committed Suicide And He Will Always Give Me Something Man It Wasn’t Much But He Give Me Some But Man I Was Like I Think This Is Well In The First Um What Was It Called Playstation The First Playstation Came Out So I Was Already Like Six Likes 15 16 Them Like That And They Call Me Over And I Didn’t Really Want To Go Over You Know Because You Know It’s Holidays Before We’re Families And I’m Yeah Man He Surprised Me With Like A Playstation And It Just Made My Day You Know And It Was Like Wow You Know And It Will Much More Expensive Yeah That’s For You And By The Price Of My Xbox Back Then Yeah Yeah You Know This Is Like When It First Came Out Wow Even Gave Me Game You Know Oh You Were Like Super Happy To Get It Man You Never Gotten A Gift Essentially Especially That Big Man So How Did You Feel Like Driving Home With It Like Having Are You Ready To Play It Man You Know Yeah Man I Was Excited Dude And I Was Like In All Of It Man Because I Was Like Wow Someone Went Out Of Their Way To Spend This Kind Of Money On Me You Know So That’s Tough That’s Why I Love That Guy With All My Heart Man And I’m To This Day Man Is Such A Reverence And Respect For The Guy That’s The Only Guy In This On This Planet And Great If He Would Have Told Me To Shut The Bleep Up And Slap Me I Wouldn’t Do Anything Out Of Love For That Guy Cuz I View Him Like A Father Man You Know He Kind Of Used Me Like A Son Took Is When He Talks To Me Is Always Like Ralph Come Around More Man We Never Let You Know Me Big Greg Guy I Go Where I Need To Be Here You Go But Talk About The Playstation You Said You You Actually Never Played That Playstation That He Gave You Though Right Well You Know I Was Older And You Know But I Appreciated It Man And Then But It Was A Reason I Was Something That Was Said To You On The Way Home Though Yeah Yeah But I Don’t Really Want Went On I Don’t Want To Touch Anything Play It Why Didn’t You Play The Playstation It’s All Good Man It’s All Good I Don’t I Know I Know I Don’t Want To Touch On It Because We Got Passed Out In Them Just Say This There Was Something That Was Said That Tarnished The The Feeling At The Moment But I Still Always Appreciated The Sentiment Behind It So I’ll Leave It At That But Something Did Tarnish It Okay But I Don’t Want To Touch On That Because Fun Is So Much Love For That Yeah Yeah Yeah Definitely Oh So Talking About How You Know You Should Have Been The Statistic You Should Be The One In Jail You Should Be The One That Has Nothing You Know I’m Saying But You’ve Created A Life For Yourself That’s Very Comfortable Now You’re A Funny You’re Funny On God Always Provide Away From Me Do Like I Never Asked When I Went Off On My I On My Own I Never Lacked Money You Know What I Mean Not That I’m Far From Wealth I’m Not A Rich Or Anything But God Always Provided A Way For Me To Maintain Myself And Take Care Of Myself And You Know The Last You Know The Last Almost Way Online You Know So That’s Basically You Know How I I Connected With You To That Because We Had A Boatload Of Mutual Friends But I Pretty Much Man The Last Come From Home You Know Um Would You Say That Do All That Adversity And The Trauma And The Stuff That Comes With It Man Like How Did Your Relationship With Christ Help You To To Maintain Man You Know I’m Saying To Actually Be A Successful Person To Actually Show Love To Other People Even When You Feel Like You Haven’t Been Shown That Much Love And So Many People Would Take That To Heart And Be Like You Know It I Wasn’t Loved So I Don’t Have Love To Give You Know I’m Saying Cuz You’re Like Generally Like A Real I’m Saying Really Good Dude Man You’re A Good Friend And Stuff Like That Um How Does Your Relationship With Christ Come Into Play With That Man Cuz Like For Me It Totally Helps Me To Cope And Whatever’s Good In Me Is Because Because Of Him You Know And I’m Thankful That I’m Here Because I Should Have Been A Statistic To Like All My Family Members Are I Hate To Say That My Brother’s Locked Up Some Of Them Are Addicted To To Substance And Things Like That So How Does Your Faith In Christ You Ain’t Come To Play But Where You Are Now And Why You Are Successful You Know Well You Know Knowing Him Man In Just That Relationship With Him And It Does Give You A That Spirit Where You View Things Differently Man You Know You Know You Don’t Tend To You Know Have My Moments Where I Do Get Pissed And You Know Have That Human Nature But Yeah I Don’t Know He When Christ Comes In Man He Does Change You Inside Man And It Helps You Cope With A Lot Because I’ve Been Through More Than Your Average Eventer So You Know Instead He Gives You That Resilience Man To Bounce Back Up Man That’s Something I’ve Always You Know Got A You Got To Get Back Up Man Because That’s Something True Knowing Him And Building A Relationship With With Him And With God That’s What What I’ve Learned Is Just Being Resilient And Knowing This Too Shall Pass Type Of Thing You Know It Kind Of Helps You See The Positive Where There’s Only Negative To Be Viewed You Know I’m Saying Like Even If There’s A Story In The Bible We’re Talking About The Valley Of Dry Bones And Seeing This Huge Army Man Of Soldiers Man And They’re All Dead This Is Dry Bones They’ve They’ve Dead They’re Over There Life Has Come They’re Like It’s Is Behind Them But To Be Able To Speak To Those Jawbone’s To Speak To The Dead Places And Speak Life To A Situation Or Circumstance Where Death Is Raining Man You Know I’m Saying So Then That That’s Alchemy Like That Is Being Able To Make Gold Out Of Lead And To Take Something And Make Something Out Of This Life And Breathe Life Into A Man And That’s What God Has Done To Your Life Man You Know I’m Saying And Empowered You To Take That Same Breath And Breathe It Into Areas Of Your Life That’s So Powerful Man And People Need To Understand That With God All Things Are Possible Man I Think Your Story Is Like A Hundred Percent Proving That You Know Exactly Man Without Having There With Nothing Whether You Want To Deny Him Or Not Without Him With Nothing So Where So What Do You As Far As Because You You’re Big On Me About Speaking Positive Affirmations Like I Said Not Believing Not Having Faith Or Maybe Will Make Something Happen But Know It To See It In Your Mind’s Eye And To Create It Like Where Does The Power Come Into Play For You With That Of Making Something Happen Out Of Nothing I’m Big Into Visualization I’ve Talked To You A Lot About That I’ve Even Told You To Do That For Yourself You Know So I’m Big Into Like Seeing It Praying About It But Also Following Through You Know On Your Own End But Um Do Different Times Well I’ll Think Of Something And Do This Like Just Comes Man Yeah It’s Got A Cat I Was Talking To You About This Yesterday You Almost Gotta Look Up The Smiles Like Okay That Was Fast Dude Oh That’s A Good Thing You Know Sometimes It Is Man Yeah So Dude This Pen Times Man I Have Nothing To Eat In My Home Nothing This Is You Know I Was In My Late Teens Man Nothing Automatically Something Would Pop Up An Opportunity Or To Do Something Money Would Come You Know Or You Get Invited Somewhere You Should Get A Meal And You Know So Good Be Circumstances Like That You Know Growing Up And When I Was When I Went Off My Own Man And Where It’s Like There’s Too Many To Count Man The Situations Where I’ve Been And I Literally Have To Look Up And Like Just Smile It’s Like Man God That Was Quick Quick Delivery You Know You Know So You Know It’s Um I Don’t Know Crisis Changes You Man God In Christ Change You And Where You Tend To Be More You Know Sympathetic More Understanding Even To Those Warm You Man Yeah You Know You’re Not So Quick To Like You Know Judge Them Yeah I Mean It Does It Does Not The Least Judgmental Dude On The Planet Man I’d Love For Everybody Um You Know Let Me Um We Do Have A Caller On The Line We’ve Had A Couple But If You Guys Want To Call In We Should Be Able To Take Your Calls Now Got A Caller Calling In From Northwest Arkansas Who We Speaking With Hey Kurt The Teller Yet Again What’s Up Conner Hughes What’s Up Brother How Are You I’m Doing All Right Just Chilling Here One That Works Oh You’re At Work Yeah I Work Over In The Night So Yeah That’s Always Fun Yeah Maybe Join The Conversation No It’s Like It’s Like I’m Sitting Up But Trying To Have A Question As Well Honestly I Can’t Think Of A Question Cuz I’m Just I Wish To Sit In You’re Speechless Listen To Alonso’s Testimony Very Much I’m Just Like Oh Wow How You Been Able To Make It So Long If It Was Me I Will Up This A Long Time Ago Just The Fact That You’ve Been Able To Go Through All That And Still Be Here And You Have A Testimony And Pray Or Strengthen Yourself And Your Spiritual Walk I’m Just Like Wow Thank You Man Thank You Man And I’m Sure Your Your Walk With Christ Is Pretty Strong – Man So I’ve Heard You Before On The Show So Kudos To You Too My Friend Yeah This Is The First Of Actually Listen To You Talk Is I’ve Heard Of You Before But Never Actually Got – Like You You Talk And Hear About Your Life And All This Or So Much We Got Speak You Alonso So It’s A Privilege Thank You Man Likewise Likewise Do You Need Help While We Have You On The Phone Hunter Because You Do Hip-hop As Well And You’re In Us In A Similar Boat To Myself And Alonso Has Helped Me With Marketing And Getting The Music Out There And Stuff Like That Do You Have Any Questions You Want To Ask Him About That Because He’s Totally That’s What He Does For A Living Man You Want To Ask Him Anything About That One We Have Them Huh Not Nothing I Can Think About At The Moment Right Now But I’ll Definitely You Got Facebook Brett Alonso Yes Sir – Find Me All Right Or I’ll Have To Look You Up Then We Can Be Connected Then Because Right Now I Don’t Have Anything But I’m Sure Eventually I Will Have Stuff Yeah Manny Question Feel Free But I’m Always A Accessible And Available Thanks What Do I Thought I Would Like To Talk To You Guys About Something That Interest In The Help To Me Recently If I Get If I Give You Guys So Much Time Okay So This Happened Was Um I Started Listening To Your Podcast Truth Others I Thought They Called Comcast And So Your I Don’t I Don’t Know If You Upload Yourself Or If It’s Just Through Everything Else But I Will Your Pocket Open There’s A Little Scene To That I Listened To The Podcast Redoing Mars For The First Time Cuz I Don’t Know That One Yet We Talked About The Occult Witchcraft All That Yeah And I Just And I Just Remember I Really Got Into A We Started Talking About His Different Experiences With A Demons And So I Just Remember Him Well Look Sorry I Having To Stretch Up It Stuck On The Couch For A While With It And So I Just Remember Am I Was A What Right As I Took The Headphones I Wait Years As The Bacchus Ended I Started Getting This Weird Threat I Forgetting This Like Conscious Sense Like There Was Something Around Me But I Couldn’t Feel Like I Thought It Was There I Couldn’t See It And Pretty Much When I Can’t Occlusion Is Um By Listen To That Podcast I Because I Never Really Played With The Idea Of Demons Much Like I Know Like We Have Our Fight With Our Inner Demons But I Kept I Was A Cliche But Usually That’s Christian Cliche For The Most Part But Acts But I Think After That They Opened Up My Mind And I Was Able To Go For What If I’m Not Mistaken I’m Actually Was Able To Sense For Demons That Were Around Me It’s Like Because It’s Like I Could Feel Like It Was Strong After That Like Me Was Like They Were Surrounding Me It Felt Like Cliches Are You Like It’s All For A Reason Like They’ve They’ve Talked About A Lot For A Reason So That Should When You Hear That You Know That’s What A Meme Is A Meme Is Something That You See Over And Over Again Something Reoccurring In Your Life Cliches Are Usually Cliches Because They Have Some Truth To Them Mmm Yeah It Felt Like I Had Like – It’s Like I Had Like Two Conscious Eyes In The Back Of My Head Just Kind Of Watching Like I Couldn’t See Them But Like My Conscious Is Like I Could Yeah At The Same Time Which Was Weird It’s Like Anytime That You’re Listening To Spiritual Material Anytime You’re Even Watching Spiritual Stuff On Television You Know Spiritual Movies That Have A Talked About The Occult And Presence And Stuff It Kind Of Makes That Stuff More Real In Your Life And Show You Areas Almost Like If They’re If There’s Something In Your Life That’s Hiding Right It’s Not Like You Listen To It And They Came To You It’s Almost Like You Have These Areas In Your Life That These Spirits Or Entities Or Belief Systems Are Hidden Away And When You Listen To The Material Or You Read The Bible Or Spiritual Content It Kind Of Shines Light To Where They’re Hiding And Then So They Have To Kind Of Run Around And Move And So It Kind Of Brings Them Forth And You Kind Of Like Oh Wow There’s Something There Like I Am Dealing With Something Similar That Alonso Is Dealing With Or Derek And So A Lot Of Times Listening To That Stuff Makes It Come Forth Man And So A Lot Of Times It’s Just God Showing You Different Places That You Need To Deal With In Your Own Spiritual Walk To Kind Of Get To That Next And Deal With Those Spirits Demons Or Strongholds That Are Holding You Back In These Certain Areas And Won’t Let You Move Forward It’s Like Alonso Just Said A While Ago He Said That Most People End Up Being Fathers Or Being Parents Just Like Their Parents Were Even That That Is A Generational Curse Spoken Of In The Bible Of These Spirits Familiar Spirits That Are Familiar With Your Family Familiar With Your Your Your Genealogy And Have Been With Your Parents And Now They’re With You And So You Have To Deal With Those Things Like You Have To Break That Curse Through The Power Of Christ Because If Not If Your Dad Was A Drunk Most Likely You May Be A Drunk You Know I’m Saying But And It Just Happens About The Fall It Doesn’t You Know People Don’t Even Spiritual Eyes It You Just Look Like Father Like Son And So We Have To Deal With Those Things Man And That’s Where The Power Of Christ Comes In This Relationship Where He Can Shine Light On Them And We See Them Scattering And We Can Deal With Them And One At A Time And So That’s A Blessing That You’ve Been Able To Feel That And Going Through That Process Hunter It’s Kind Of Scary Because You Didn’t Know That They Were There You Didn’t Know There Was These Things Around You I Have Family Members Who Don’t Like To Deal With That Stuff And Would Rather Keep Their Demons And They’ve Told Me This They Would Rather Keep Their Demons Because Talking About Them Were Trying To Get Healing From Them Would Just Scare Them Like They Would Rather Not Talk About It And Have A Supernatural Encounter Of A Demon Approaching Them In The Middle Of The Night Or Something There About That That’s Funny That You Mentioned That Because My Mom Is A Son Was A Son Theta And My Grandmother Was A Son Theta So They Would My Grandmother Used To Talk About Seeing Dead People Like It Was Like Me Seeing You Right Now Yeah Regular Stuff To Her And You Know I Was One Of The Cats I Don’t Believe In That Nonsense I Think It’s Demonic Because I See It Myself How It Works So I Would Tell I Would Tell My Mother Man I Would Take That Saying Shatter It Right Here Yeah Because They Were Praying To Saints And Stuff You Told Me About That I See Don’t You Touch My Saints None Of Them Have My Mom Had A Ritual I Used To See It 10 Years Old Walking Out Of Wherever The Heck I Was Sleeping At That Time Walking Out Of A Theater In The In The Kitchens Yet It’s Huge St. You Know Her Ritual With The Cigars And Stuff You Know It Was Little Creepy Man For Nine Ten Year Old You Know And Uh But At The End It’s All Bull Baloney You Know It’s Like Has No Real Power Man Saint Lazarus You Know Throwing Her Drunk Quarters At Him And Smoke And All This Stuff So I Grew Up Around That To Seeing My Grandmother And My Mother Practice These Things You Know Yeah And That Was Crazy Too Because That’s Kind Of That’s Kind Of Funny He Brings Up The Mars Interview Because You Were You Know You You Know I Mean You Talked About The Whole Santeria Thing And That’s What That’s What Me I Was In On It I Was There Too I Was As I Said That Do Puerto Rican Or Something Make It He Was Like Boom Boom Boom Boom We Had It All Man Yeah I’m Great At All Rituals And Stuff That They Do And It’s So It’s So Mad It’s All Mental Man If You Believe In It There’s A Curse On Your So Much Doing That A Hex Of Course Is Going To Fall Upon You Because You’re Believing This Yeah It’s Nonsense Dude But But The Lengths That They Go When They Do These Things Or The Rituals Themselves To The Saints It’s Just Like If You Talk About Killing Chickens And Monkeys And Stuff Like That And Well That’s Not Monkey The Monkey Killed This This Whole Thing Where They Do It’s Just Silliness Man You Know What They Do To People And At The End Of The Day But There Is A Truth To It Man Because The Saints Will Give You What You Want You Live Lovely For A While But They’ll Come To Collect Come To Come On But They’re Not Gonna Collect What They Gave You Yeah Come To Collect Something Else More Yeah You Know Yeah That’s The Weird Thing About Dealing With Spirits And Demons And Entities And Stuff And So We Have The One Up We Can Go Straight To Christ You Know I’m Saying We Go Straight To The One Who Is Over See That’s The Whole Thing Was Powerful About Jesus Because These Other Spirits They Have To Bow To Him Like He Holds He Holds All Authority They Must Bow To The Feet Of King G Funny I Told My I Told My Mom That I Said A Scream Scream Saint Lazarus To A Demon Yeah That’s My Mother Trouble Eulogy Start Scraping Always Been That Way With My Mom And Now It’s Funny She Has None Of That No More Yeah You Told Me You Liked The Policeman You Would Go Over There Look At Ya Looking Through The Closets And Trying To Find She Still Has Them Now She’s Older She I Don’t Have A Problem Racial Math Well Smash The Idols Yes Well They Get The Really Interesting Part About It Is Since I’ve Been Able To Sit Down I Can Have An Idea Of Sensing Demons It’s Like I Had I Kind Of Have An Idea Of Like What They’re Planning It Almost Feels Like Sometimes Because I’m I Told You About This True Seeker But I’ll Say A Short And Sweet Version For Alonso Was Them A While Back This Was Before I Started Really Getting Into Crew Sega And All The Stuff He Was Talking About Getting Into Spirituality I Watched The It Was A Documentary About Illuminati In The Music Industry One Of The Things They Talked About Was A Demon Called Brain Man And What This Demons Not Very Much Would Be Was To Entice The Person To Sell Their Soul To The Devil In The Music Industry And I Had Shared With Them Trucy Kid That One Time A Person Dictum Of Me The Rainman They’ve Done To Me In The Form Of Of A Human And I Didn’t Realize At The Time Till Later But That Demon In The End Very Much Failed At Trying To Entice Me And So What I Think Realized After Especially What Happened Not That Night When I Read They Figured I Could Sense Them Now Around Me The Death Very Much Listen Were Saying Or Whatever Brain Would Said Okay Sending Them In Ufos I Go Works Organics Was Mine And So That’s Pretty Much What So Very Much Like See I Can Sense The Demons But It’s Like I Can’t Sense When They Play Games With Me But Afterwards Though Like If Well Unless Touch My Mind To Put Negative Thoughts Or Negatives In My Head After That Demon Has Left I Keep The Sudden Pain In The Back Of My Head Like Something Was It Like It’s Like Something That Something Was Tampered With Pretty Much Because What Happened Was Asked Right After I Was In That Marshall Podcast And Says Things Around Me Um Something Happened At Work And Four Solves It I Thought This Huge Rush Of Anger Just Wash Over Me And I Got Into It With The With A Manager That Night Afterwards After The Smoke Is Oh No That’s Like Again There Was Paying Back My Head And Some Like Okay Something’s Not Right There So It’s Like So Like Now I’ve Been Trying To Prepare Myself Because I Realized How Much I Was Unprepared For These Attacks From Satan And His Demons The Idea Is Start Focusing More My Spiritual Walk And Make Sure I Can Protect Myself And Stuff Like That Yeah That’s The Whole Thing That People Don’t Understand I Think It’s Because Of Hollywood And Because Of Even Like Old Church Paintings And Stuff That Show You These Pictures Of These Demons Or These Manifestations Of A Little Monster And Stuff Like That Like We Think That That’s How They Look Right And These Entities These Fallen Spirits What They Are Our Thought Patterns They Are Vibrations We Talk About Walking In Vibrations And Feeling They Come In The Form Of What We We Call Up Ungodly Belief They Attack You Through Your Mind Man For Suggestion That Sometimes You Know Even In My Younger Days When I Did Read The Bible A Lot You Know They Would Mess Up Your Your Focus You Know Weak Funny Do We Talk To Yesterday About You Hearing This Or Having This Urge To Do Something That’s True And It’s Been Creepy Cuz I’m Like I’m Not That Type Of Cat I’m Like You Know What I Mean So Just Sitting Around And Have An Urge Like A Negative Thought Yeah Not It’s Like An Overwhelming It’s Not Just To Have You I Think Stuff Like That Comes To Your Mind Man You Just Talk To God I Don’t Believe In The Word I Don’t Like Using The Word Prayer Just Talk To God Man I Don’t Get You Yeah Into It Man That’s Part Of Like The Confession Man To Speak The Blessing Of God Over Yourself To Speak Truth Over Yourself And They’ll Leave That’s How They Flee Man Because They Come As Ungodly Thought-forms About Yourself I’m Stupid I’ll Never Be Nobody That’s Something Like That Brother Because That’s Them When You Get Negative Thoughts Like That At Least I’ve Done This With Myself Because Just Me You Know You Gotta Be Your Own Like I’ve Said It Before Be Your Own Cheerleader Man Be Your Own Motivator Uplift Yourself You Know When You Get A Negative Thought Like I’m Not Good Enough You’d Be Like Oh Yeah I’m Good Enough Yeah You Know And I Say You Know You Can Learn The Voice Of The Enemy And They Sell It May Sound Cheesy But Brother When It’s Just You Be Your Own Number-one Fan Then You Learned The Voice Of The Enemy So When You Hear The Hold On I Am Good Enough And You Learn What It Sounds Like Will Smith Talks About That He Talks About The To His To Sookie’s In Life Or Reading Books Because There’s Nobody Who’s Ever Existed Who Hasn’t Dealt With A Situation That They Haven’t Wrote About It In The Book So Reading In Reading How Other People Got Through Situations And Running And He Says Writing Is So Powerful Because If You’re On A Treadmill And You’re Running And You’re Trying To Lose Weight You’re Trying To Get In Shape And You Hear That Voice Tell You I Let’s Go Ahead And Stop Let’s Go And Stop Like That’s That Fight-or-flight The Whole Delivery I Want To Keep Going I Got Another Ten Minutes And I Can Do I Can Physically Do It No It’s Time To Stop Let’s Get Off You Learn That Voice Of The Doubter And You Learn How To Quiet It So When It Comes Later On In Life You’re Stupid You’re Not Meant To Have A Family You’re Not Meant To Have Good Things You Hear You Shut It Up You Saw Me Get A Laugh At Thought You Gotta Laugh At Those Type Of Like Said Rules Yeah You Know That’s The Power Of Speaking Positive Affirmations Of Your Life And Knowing Who You Are I’ve Got In My In My Bathroom My Personal Mirror I’ve Stood In The Mirror And I’ll Get Took A Marker And I Seen My Silhouette And I Wrote All The Way Around Me Where I Wouldn’t Be In The Mirror I Wrote The Blessings Of God You’re More Than A Conqueror You Are The Righteousness Of God Created In Christ Jesus To Do Good Works Your Head And Not The Tail You Know So You Are Loved You Are This You Are That And I Look At It And I Speak Those Affirmations And See Them And Speak It Over Myself Yeah That’s True Man Yeah I Want The Things At Them I Don’t You Stick It Does Not Know You Ever Heard Me Talk About The Book The Longest Time I Was Struggling With Suicidal Thoughts And Three Mergers Going Up Mm Yeah He Came To Town Devils Almost Won But The Great Thing Is Ever Since I Was Able To Sense Demons And Where The Premises Around Me I Haven’t I’ve Had No Thoughts As Much Surprisingly It’s Like I Just Realized That The Other Day It’s Like You Got A Reject Those Like Guitar You Got A Reject Those Don’t You Got To Reject Those Thoughts With Positive Thoughts Man You Know So When You Have A You Know Suicidal Thought Or If You’re Battling Depression Man You Got To Negate It And Replace It With A Positive Thought About Yourself Man And Here You’re A Good Rapper Man Just Think About That Or Think About Your Family Or You Know Replace It With A Positive Thought Man To Get You Through That Because You Know That’s Not From God You Wanting To Harm Yourself In Any Way Man You Know Yeah One Of The Things That I Will Do Like If I Sense There’s A Dark Or Negative Friends Around Me That Shouldn’t Be There It’s Like I Would Like Where I Was First Thinking About Like How Would I Fight This Back Like I Wasn’t Sure Like Do I Say Certain Things I Need To Turn Stuff And I Just Settled On Them Pretty Much I Grew Pretty Much Obviously The Prayers It Was A Kid I Will In My Head Say The Lord’s Prayer And That To Me That Laissez-faire That’s Calling God That Wash Over Me And Protect Me From Evil And When And After That Prayer Is Done That Negative And Rule Dark Influence Or Power Is Gone Yeah After I Create That Lord’s Prayer Yep And It’s Just Like Until Like I Just This Is Something For You That Creates A Place Of Solace And And It Is A Positive Thought It Is A Positive Affirmation And So That That’s That’s What’s So Powerful About That And That’s What Powerful About Symbols And Crosses And Things Like That Like People Wear Crosses Or People Hold Their Bible And Pray Over People With It Like I Compel You By The Power Of These Like There’s No Power In Like That Physical Book Or That Necklace Of The Cross Or Whatever The Case Is But When You See Those Things Or Cross This On The Walls Or Symbols Like There’s No Power In That Symbol But The Power Is When They When You See It It Brings A Thought To You And That’s Where The Power Is And So You Know People Can Hear Or See The Symbol And Feel Two Different Type Of Ways When They See It It Means Something Different To Them So To Go To That Place Of Like Okay This Is What Helps Me This Is What Brings Me Solace I Hold Up My Cross I I Say My Prayers I Do My Rosary For Catholics You Know I’m Saying Or You Know I’m Saying To Mala Beads For Um Santa Hindu Or Whatever The Case Is That Kind Of Brings You To That Place Of Safety Man You Know Well It Is A Spiritual Warfare It’s A Daily Fight And So For Alonzo To Bent Been Through Everything He’s Been Through Over The Years And Been So Advanced In Spirituality We Didn’t Really Talk About It But He’s Had A Lot Of Angelica Encounters And Encounters With Christ As Well Man So To Be Able To Go Through All That And Be Upon A Mountain And Go Through The Valley And Be Up On The Mountain And Being A Good Place But Still Be Tempted By Some Of The Elementary Things That Should Have Been Gone A Long Time Ago Like Thoughts Of Suicide Like You Have To Admit That Because Like We Deal With It I Deal With It Like We Deal With Negative Thoughts It’s Not Like We Reach A Level Of Ascension And We’re Good Like We’re Good No It’s A Daily Battle I Think People That Have That Constant Battle Of Suicidal Thoughts Or Maybe I Should Just Off Myself Is Because They’re Here For A Great Purpose Actually You Know And Um That’s Why I Say Negated Man What A Positive Photo Just Laugh At It Man No You Know Because Uh Y’all Get And We’re All Here To Do Great Things Man Everyone No Matter What Walk Of Life You Are In You Know That Is The Here To Leave An Impact That Is The Great Spiritual Warfare That People Are Talked So Much About And Write Books About And Teach About It’s All In The Mind It Is The Battlefield Of The Mind It Is The Thought Patterns Forms And Ideas And There It Does Get Deep Died Like You Can’t Get Really Esoteric And Deep About All Something So Simple All That Comes From Like You Got To Be Your Best Friend To Man You Know You Got A You Know Got To Know Who You Are Man You Got To Know Your Power And Authority And Christ Gives You That In Christ Like You Have Power To Actually Tread Among Serpents You Have Power To Drink Deadly Poisons And I Heard I Heard It I Heard It Said What Man Is The Only Creature Who Does Not Know Who He Is No It’s An Ever Learning Thing You Know A Lion Knows He’s In Line But Man Doesn’t Know Its Power You Know So True Real Quick Is Actually Finally Bring A Spiritual Warfare While The Other Podcast I Really Got Into Was A Your Podcast Like The Zodiac In The Bible With A Santos Pinaki That Pronounce Ever Idea Um And Um Because One And So I Was Just Looking Up That’s Barbecue So I Looked At Secretaries From The Bible And This Is I Don’t Know If The Ama Cruz Is Out Is Just Based On What The Couple Of Such I Looked At So Far The Few Times The Sagittarii Shows Us The Bible Was Always During Times Of Like Great War With Of A Great War With The Physical Spiritual Was When The Factory Showed Up During A Great Spiritual Physical War So I Think It’s Fine That We Talking About Spiritual Warfare And I Just Have To Be – Darius Yeah Those Are Different Signs That Were Born Under And Most Christians They Kind Of Just Kind Of Um Say Write That Stuff Off But It Is It Is Powerful Man Because Like Um Send The Word Prophet In The Bible Translates To Sear The Word Sear Translates To Stargazer Like The Early Prophets And They Didn’t Have Technology All They Had Was Books Writing And They Had Their You Know I’m Saying Their Spiritual Practice And In A Gaze At The Stars Man They Read The Stars And Even Even The Scriptures Talk About That The Stars Are Given To Us For Signs And Seasons And In Different Wonders Of All That Selves Mention Of In The Bible We Talk About The Zodiac Okay You Know Yes They’re Not – You Know Saying To Be Worshipped And All That Kind Of Stuff But They’re Definitely There As I Essentially As The Calendar If You’re Sagittarius This Is What’s Going To Happen In Your Life These Energies Are Going To Be Around You You’re Going To Be More Irritable And People Who Study This Stuff Man They Have Like Things Work For Them Like They Know When They’re Going To Have A Bad Day Not A Bad Day But When They’re More Susceptible To Be Around People Or To Be Around Large Crowds Or To Focus On Their Business More Because You Know These These Things Are Lining Up For Their Minutes That’s Totally Scriptural You Know I’m Saying It And If You Want To Look It Up Just For Those Who Are Listening Who Have Never Heard This But The Zodiac Is In The Bible Under The Name Mazzaroth If You Go To A Bible Search Engine Type In Massive Roth And That Is What The Zodiac Is Called In If You Look At The Definition It’ll Tell You That It’s The Zodiac And All The Constellations Are Mentioned In The Bible As Well We Never Here We Never Hear That Stuff You Know So If You Want To Address Starting In Local Well Church And It’s More It’s More Gnostic Saladin As Well Know You’re All That All That Stuff’s Mentioned In There So You Could Do Your Own Research As Well And Just Let God Blow Your Mind Opening That Whole Thing For You What You Did With Me You Know It’s Awesome So 100 Dude We’re Coming Up On The End Of The Show Man Thanks For Calling In Brother And I Will Talk With You Soon Man Thank You Man All Right And You’re Welcome Lawns All Make You Look You Up On Facebook Here In The Beds That Wouldn’t Even Touch Definitely All Right Brother Take Care All Right Love You Both Love You Man Shalom Shalom Peace Likewise Yeah Man Lonzo Man Great Episode Dude We Went To Some Places There’s Still Many Places That We Didn’t Go Yeah We Would Be Here Like For Three Hours And It Will Be In Tears If We Went More Into My Store I Think I Think It’s Important To You I’m Saying To Know Where You Came Where You Came From In Order To Know Where You’re Going Where You’re Headed Right Like If You Don’t Know Where You Came From It’s Almost Impossible To Know Where You Headed And That’s It’s And I Know I Know For Me And Like Sometimes It’s Easy To Forget About It Because You’re Just So Caught Up In Life And And Time And Things Are Running You Got Stuff To Do Sometimes But We Have To Remember Where We Came From To Kind Of Continue To Show Compassion To People Who Are Still There Like My Heart Still Goes Out To The Fatherless And Yet So Does God’s Right Like God That He’s Passionate About That So I Think We Should Be Passionate About That And Even More So Since We Were Walking There In A Point Of All Life And We Know How It Feels To Try To Identify With The Males Around Us Because We Don’t Have That Father Figure Connected And Then We Look At Rap Music That’s Why Rap Music Is So Popular In The Urban Community Is That There’s So Many People Without Fathers And So They Try To They Look At Their Favorite Rapper And They Want To Be Like Them You Know I’m Saying Tupac Biggie That I Wanted To Be Easy Email When I Was A Little Sickly There You Go So That’s Why As Well As That Music Was And The Message Behind It Man You It’s Like I Said When I Came To The Faith Man I Had A Box Full Of Cassette Tapes Back Then To Them All Away Brother Yeah From Although I’m Like Why Am I Listening To This Many People Have To Do That Because There’s A Conflict Of Interest Even Though I Love The I Love The The Talented All Those Greats Fat Yeah The Legacy That They Had And What They’ve Like Newton The Mark That They Left On Music And In Their Life But We Talk About Eazy-e Just Him In Particular You Showed Me Some Stuff The Other Day Where This Dude Had Stuff Straight Straight Prayers To Say No On Rash Yep Yeah People It’s Not Hidden It’s You In That Album Um The Last The Last Album He Made That The Intro Yeah The Intro Is Basically About Him Dying Him In Selling His Soul And Yeah I Guess The Met Well If He Hate What He Had What He Has So I Guess He Was Going To Die But He Was Saying The Lord’s Prayer Backwards No And That Album Sort Of Like Five Million Copies Because You Know The Buzz Behind Him Dying At The Time But People A Awful Album By The Way Man God Rest His Soul And You Know Sympathy Up To His Family Because The Man Was A Visionary He Was Just Yeah In The Weird Dichotomy With That Man Which I Touched On With You He Loved To Help Others And He Loved To Help Children Which Was The Oddest Thing To Me You Could See On Youtube All His Make-a-wish Stuff And It’s Weird To Someone Who’s Who Wrapped His Violent Violent Violent Music It Had This Side Too Made Love To Help Others Yeah You Know Yeah That Is The Weird Thing You See Like Different Cults And Stuff Like That In The Community Or Like The Freemasons Literally Helping People And Doing It Definitely Had To Be Someone Within That Free I Don’t Know If I Never Heard Of It But That Man Had A Weird Uh Even You Hear Interviews Of People Who Work Like The Dlc And Even Dr. Dre Himself Saying That Man Had A Presence And He Was A Little Wee Guy Willing Of Five Feet Tall But You Knew When He Was In The Room They Just Say You Know Yeah So I Think That’s A Good Place To Go Ahead And End The Interview Man Dude Thanks For Coming On Hanging Out And We’re Gonna Have Some More Talks Coming Up Soon I Want To Get You In On Some Roundtable Conversations As Well Because We Do Work Very Well Together We’ve Done That In The Past And Had Some Cool You Know Test Runs And Trial Episodes We Just Put Up The The Freeman Episode As Well And You Set That Whole Thing Up And And You’re In On That With Me So That Was A Fun Fun With Two People On Even With It Was Fun All Around All Three Of Us With A Helio You Yourself We Have Fun In A Lil Lil Really Went Deep In That Interview Man He Really Had Good Inside Of Yeah I Was A Little Honestly I Was A Little Offended That I Didn’t Get To Speak Much But He Was Talking To One Of His Heroes And He Yeah He Asked Really Good Question So It Went It Would Be Well I Think He’s One Of The Best Guys Ever Interview Freeman Firstly Melvin Yeah When I Would Get When I Removed Myself Like I Didn’t Get To Ask Freeman A Lot Of Questions I Got Cuz I Listened To It Yesterday Greater Yeah Right It’s A Great I Like Did An Awesome Job Interviewing Freeman He Was Asking Like Out-of-the-box Stuff Too So Looking Back I Did Not Like Homeboy Did It Yeah No Dude Everyone Was Yelling At Each Other Behind To See And See The You Know I Slept In The Oh Man That’s No No Heartful Yeah That’s A Good Guy Man Venca Gay I Brother I Will Talk With You Soon Imma Go Ahead And End The Podcast Shalom Shalom Everybody See What’s Up To Alonso Add Him On Social Media And All That Good Stuff As Well So He’s There I Wanted To Say Just Really Quickly Like Us On Itunes Subscribe To Us On Itunes All That Good Stuff Also We’re On Pretty Much All The Podcast Stuff Now So We’re Just Getting On All That And So I’m Learning How To Do That So Subscribe To Us We Are Doing Weekly Shows I’m Trying To Do More Than One A Week And I’ve Got Some Awesome Guests Lined Up Man Really Cool Stuff And So This Next Week Is Going To Be Really Cool For For Me With Some Cool Shows And Some People That I Want To Talk – And Have Been Checking Out Over The Years And They’re Going To Be Coming On The Show It’s Going To Be Really Cool Also Wanted To Say Whenever We Talked About Reading Spiritual Material And Watching Spiritual Television Shows And Stuff Like That And That Opening Up This Almost A Realm Of Creativity But Unlocking Spiritual Giftings Within You And Being Influenced By Them One Big Book That Did That For Me Was The Final Quest By Rick Joyner This Book When I Was Reading That And Listening To Their Music God Was Essentially Using That Book To Teach Me Spiritual Warfare And That Book Is A Prophetic Look At Going Through Life As A Believer And And Being Able To See In The Spirit Realm And See What The Entities Are Doing To Believers In To People Like There’s Man It Gets It Gets Debug It Shows Up Paints A Picture Of These Entities That Are Riding The Backs Of People Like Riding Them As A Vehicle And Flying Above Them And These Different Levels And Type Ologies That God Showed Him In A Vision And He Wrote The Vision Down In A Book Called The Final Quest And It Talks About Some Like These Winged Demons That Are Flying Over Them And Puking On Them And Them Just Loving It And It’s All Symbolic But It’s It Shows You Man Like A Really Deep Spiritual Look So Rick Joyner’s The Final Quest Is A Book That You Need To Check Out And I Say That To Say That We Are On Audible.com So You Can Go Look Down In The Show Notes Audible Duct Audible Trial Calm You Can Actually Download That Book For Free If You Sign Up Through Our Affiliate Link And We Get A Kickback On Anybody Who Signs Up So You Don’t Even Have To Spend Money As Long As You Sign Up We Get A Kickback On That And That’s Really Cool Because We Can Promote Products Like That Like We Talked About Alchemy In The Alchemist That’s Another Book That Changed My Life And It’s On There As Well So If You Go To Audibletrial.com/preneurcast This Was An Awesome Interview I Love Each And Every One Of You Guys And We Will Be Back With More Of The True Seeker Podcast [music] [music] Well That Does It For This Episode Folks Here More Episodes Of The Truth Seeker Podcast Head Over To You Sika Comm And If You Wanted To Support The Show And Get Rewards Go To Our Patreon Page At Patreon.com Forward Slash Truth Seeker [music]






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