Mental Alchemy | Transformation Through Trauma | Alonzo Pichardo

Mental Alchemy  Transformation Through Trauma  Alonzo Pichardo
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh8e2vnW0iM
Transcript source: YouTube captions

for
you come come and take me
away I just want to be with you won't
you come come and take me
away to a place to walk on trouble sees
Faith to stand when I do be
I just want to be with you won't you
come come and take
me just to be with you won't you come
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Seeker yo what's up ladies and gentlemen
you're now tuned into the truth sea
podcast want to thank everybody for
hanging out with us today we're going to
have a great discussion I've got some
awesome topics of interest to uh speak
to my good friend Alonzo Pichardo I'm g
go ahead and welcome him to the show you
guys see his beautiful mug what's going
on
Alonzo I'm all right man how you doing
hey brother dude thanks for coming on
the show especially last minute man had
some stuff come up with my last guest so
we have been talking about doing a show
anyway and you was available man so
thanks so so much for coming on and
hanging
out no worries man always no worries
that's what's up I want to give a quick
shout out to the patreons who have or
patrons patreons whatever who have uh
signed up for support for this month so
we got Steve Payne shout out to Steve
Payne thanks so much for believing in
the vision and IR child IR like catches
almost every live stream that we do so
thanks so much irk for hanging out and
um supporting the vision man it means so
much that you guys get behind what we're
doing with the music and the podcast and
everything it takes money to run what
we're doing here to to run and use all
this equipment and host the podcast on
on Lipson and iTunes and all that stuff
so uh huge thank you and shout out to
you guys for helping with that so if you
guys want to help out at any level of
giving anyway from a dollar to, 000 a
month whatever you feel led to do
whatever you can do a dollar is fine man
I got like 14,000 uh followers on
Facebook and if everybody gave a dollar
dude we can accomplish so much with the
vision and put so much behind the art
and creativity and doing what we want to
do so you can go to patreon.com sltr
Seer and listen to music that is not
even released yet so there's unreleased
music as I finish it I'm uploading it to
there as soon as we get done with music
videos they're uploaded to there and
this is be you get access to it before
the general public even gets to hear it
like months before before it's on an
album before it's on a u a music video
or anything so um thanks so much for you
guys doing that man it means so much so
back to the topic at hand my good friend
Alonzo Pichardo man um one thing about
Alonzo and like one thing about the
podcast instead of calling it you know
TR SE I mean uh the mythicist podcast or
the trolls podcast or whatever trying to
promote something different and just
labeling it under Tru Seer podcast
because I just interview people who I'm
interested in people who are in my life
people who I believe would be a great
conversation and so me and Alonzo talk
pretty much every day and we talk about
anything and everything like we talk
about spirituality metaphysics Jesus all
the way down to marketing and strategies
for promoting what we're building online
so we just have this awesome friendship
and I thought it would be awesome to uh
showcase his story and just let you guys
be able to sit in on a conversation that
we have daily so I want to talk about
his story a little bit and where I want
to start Alonzo because there's so many
places we can go because I know your
story man and there's still stuff you
haven't told me right but an awesome
place to start would be where you came
to relationship with Jesus Christ
because this story is different for
everyone and it sticks out for you when
we have this conversation is that um we
have had a diff uh different paths to
get to the same point and you came to
faith in Christ through the Mormon
church and where I came to Faith through
was like the Assemblies of God
charismatic movements type stuff and
they would demonized what you were
involved with they say no you know Jesus
is not involved with the Mormon Church
there are a cult and there's no truth in
that you need to get out of that as
quick as you can but when we talk we
have a very similar story and you have
have had very real and intimate
relationship with Jesus man so if you
want to set that up brother how you came
into faith in Christ through the Mormon
Church that'd be
awesome well um you know my story man
I've been on my own since I was 15
I'm 37 now so you know I was kind of
that kid that was kind of uh lost you
know not in terms lost emotionally you
know and I fell into watching you know
the whole cliche you know watching uh
televangelist on TV watching the 700
Club and all that you know and I was 16
man I was working at Brown University
man and one night I prayed this was like
I was 17 going into 18 and I said to
siners prayer all that you know and um
and I literally man I said man God if
you want me to go to church present your
true church to me and this is the truth
man it sounds cliche but it's so this is
100% true anyways I said that and then
the next day who knocks on my door but
the Mormons yeah and um anyways so my
whole thing dude was I really wanted to
be baptized you know and um so I I I
studied with them for a while and then I
started going to the church and then I
was baptized but then I fell into where
I started visiting the church for two
and a half years I was a part of the
church and um like I said man my
experiences were nothing but good
experiences I have nothing bad to say I
never seen anything weird you know like
they tend to
say out of all the out of all the
religions that I studied with I studied
with the Mormons Jehovah Witnesses
evangelicals anything I studied with
them all but out of all of them the
Mormons were the ones that I felt the
most um Christlike love man people that
genuinely cared I mean they go beyond
the extra mile for you man I I was
hospitalized once and they were there
like every visit they were there hey man
you okay everything good I'm like man
you know so it was a a genuiness that
came from the and um and it still live
it still it still brings good memories
to me when I think of them to this day
because um they're beautiful people man
and that was a good three years of my
life that I spent with them and I
decided to walk
away not because of anything that I seen
it's just because it's me man I'm not
I'm not the type of guy where I'm a
follower I like doing my own thing you
know I think I think the majority of
people who are watching have a similar
story where they were involved with a
religious organization ation or a church
and most people who follow the work that
I do they're they they can't thrive in a
in a place of control like that and like
a a structure or organized religion not
that we like
disorganization but the hierarchies and
things that come along with that but um
talk I I guess give us a little bit more
inside look upon it man what was some of
the stuff that you did you talked about
your your your baptismal um um session
or procession like you know what I'm
saying what what what did that
entail was it typical you know you go
into a little pool there was actually a
big one and it was the only thing that
with the Mormons is very private your
baptism it's up to you who you want to
invite you know you you invite who you
want to invite because it's consider
something holy and sacred to them so I
didn't invite nobody because I don't
have family yeah so the only ones that
were there were like uh two of the
elders who are missionaries and um the
one who baptized me and the bishop so Al
together three people were watching and
the the Elder that baptized me yeah you
talked about like um I don't know if you
would say different levels or different
um cuz you said that you guys would come
together and they would pray for
different giftings and abilities to be
released in your life like to be able to
hear from God more clearly to be you
know these these these different
giftings and Stu stuff man talk a little
bit about that because because like
you're the only person that I've heard
that they actually you know what I'm
saying say that I don't I don't I don't
hear that and yep um they um I don't
know I guess when they start to know I
don't know how it works out because um
the only gift that I got they call they
call the gifts they they tend to they
call you and it was a nerve-wracking day
for me man I was a you know 18 year old
kid and they call you out in front of
the the church in front of everyone to
have this
ceremony done so you sit down and they
all lay hands on you and they anoint you
with like oil yeah I was blessed with
like what they call the priesthood and
like uh
prophecy yeah they literally do
they man they all uh they all pull out
their oil and they each one of them
anoint you was three of the elders and
um I was blessed with like the
priesthood and um something with like
the pro gift of Prophecy something like
that so so whenever you're talking about
the priesthood did they use the term the
the priesthood of MDC was that a term
that was used I guess okay awesome yeah
that's the priesthood of Christ that's
the priesthood that Christ is under like
Christ has a hierarchy that that that
he's involved with and it
is these guys when they were baptizing
me man they were in tears as they were
doing this yeah and to me I'm 18 I'm
like you know but then they explained to
me the importance of this blessing and
what it meant um why that sticks out to
me is because we did similar things in
the charismatic churches they would you
know ask God to reveal to you what
giftings and talents that you have
within you and for you to you know be
released into that gifting and the
scriptures actually say that um that it
says it says to lay hands on one another
so that you can stir up is is the term
that use stir up the the gifts of God
that within you so whatever is is within
you to actually pray for you lay hands
anoint you and bring that gifting out
and so that's what you're talking about
right yep yep and and it's
um you know shortly after you know
because it's just my nature I I walked
away from the the faith and um but after
that and I'm not lying man um after that
certain things started happening in my
life certain spiritual experiences that
you know I don't want to touch on but
where I can't deny
you know the truth of who God and Christ
are you know every time we talk deep
deep um deep stuff man that um you know
can't don't really want to talk about
you know well every every every time me
and you talk and I talk about even Faith
even faith is a weird term for me but
when I bring that up to you we talk
about belief and Faith um you always
correct me because there's a difference
between having faith in something faith
is is having this uh belief and and hope
that something might happen right um but
the but knowing you talk about not
having faith in Jesus or faith in God
but knowing them intimately you don't
have you don't hope that they exist or
maybe they exist maybe you know you know
that they exist man talk a little bit
about the difference between faith and
knowing yeah that's something like I
always get on you not always get on you
but I you when you use that believe yeah
the word believe to me equals
uncertainty you're not sure you believe
and you hope so yeah you know and when
it comes to God and Christ it's you know
it's a knowing you know at least with me
in my personal experiences with with
them it's like I know I don't believe
you know because you believe in anything
until something else better comes along
you know yeah let me let me ask you this
so um people are asking in the chat so
yeah just a quick shout out to everybody
in the chat we got a bunch of people
watching live right now on YouTube and
Facebook so shout out to everybody
people are asking about the gift of the
holy spirit so when we talk about laying
on the hands it says you shall receive
the gift of the Holy Ghost when you're
baptized or in prayer and there's
different levels to that some is when
you're baptized some is when you have
this confession or profession of Faith
um and some is when you when you
actually lay the hands on them so was
there an emphasis on this um ecstatic
encounter like you feel feel the Bliss
and you feel the presence of God
overwhelm your body and cleanse all the
wrong you've done do you feel that in
your physical body was that an empasis
in the Mormon church that was a deep
emphasis the Holy Spirit and I did feel
when I walked out of there man I felt
just new man you know what I mean my
mindset was different too I mean I'm a
typical Puerto Rican man I'm very
passionate and I sometimes I cuss a lot
but dude I went like a good two years
where not even a cuss word man and it
wasn't even like done consciously people
were like hey man you notice you don't
really cuss I'm like no you know my
behavior just changed and My Views
toward just how I viewed life people I
saw Beauty and everything man so it did
um spark a huge change in my mind and my
outlook on life you know so that is true
man I did feel that that renewing of
your mind like they say you know yeah
and I don't want people to get it
Twisted because you did say that you
walked away from the church but you
didn't walk away from relationship with
with God in Christ though right no no no
never I talk to them every day man
that's the only thing I have brother
yeah without them I couldn't imagine
life you know even though you know
people know us because we joke with each
other yeah but I'm like dude I live in a
certain way like if you viewed how I
lived like this dude is a monk or
something you know but um I couldn't
imagine life without them because um
they they brought me this far
considering how I grew up man yeah you
know that's that's powerful man that
it's it's something that's a part of you
and it's so weird that there's a lot of
people with a similar story that's why I
feel the need to to interview people
like you and have these discussions is
that people have these similar stories
and I don't know about the Mormon church
but I know about many we could say Cults
or whatever and when I say cult I'm just
talking about about a fringe group of of
Believers you can be charismatic or you
can be in Assemblies of God or whatever
but whenever you leave these small
groups of people a lot of times they
demonize you or whatever and a lot of
times they'll say like if you don't go
to the church if you don't come to our
church then you're not a part of the
church like the body of Christ when
that's totally backward like people
people think that they go to church yeah
I'm going to church this Sunday no that
that whole thinking is totally back
backwards and it's not scriptural not as
far as meeting with other people of
like-minded Faith but you are the church
you are the Temple of the Holy Spirit
and the spirit of God dwelleth within
you so there's a lot of people who will
feel like condemned and they feel like
they're outcasted and things like that
because they are not a part of that
church structure you know what I'm
saying so talk a little bit about that
man about just like have you felt a
backlash I think you even told me that
they've you know I'm saying that they've
contacted you and and you know what I'm
saying checked on you and stuff like
that that it wasn't no hostility or
nothing right no man these these cats
man even after I left man I mean like
maybe five years one of them just
appeared where I lived but I I have I
wasn't home and my brother was like you
know so and so from so and so visit you
you know I'm like what and I remember
his name his name was Elder his La I
don't his last name was twitchell his
name was Elder twitchell and dude this
man was like the most sweetest
individual I ever knew man I mean we
became like brothers and that man five
years after I left the the faith just
came out of his way from Connecticut to
visit me but you know sadly we missed
you know but um these are guys when I
think about them it brings a smile to my
face man because it was a good time
and strong bonds were were made but
sadly you know as life goes on we drift
apart but these were uh and they were
guys around my age some were a year
younger than me at the time you know and
um they sacrificed two years out of
their life to do this you know and and
and you feel the genuiness to what they
do like they it's it comes from a place
of U selflessness where they really do I
mean they care brother you know and
and they show it man and it's not like
there's a hidden agenda like they
they're just trying to get numbers or
get members like they genu like the
bishop who preaches you know every
Sunday he does not get paid all the
money that's earned goes to different
organizations that they donate to and
even them the the missionaries they live
off $140 a month that's given to them
you know
yeah what does someone say you know I'm
reading the comments man I shouldn't
laugh at that quote but I'm just sitting
there read these comments okay so this
is a good transition and a and a healthy
transition as well a good friend of mine
I guess a mutual friend Jonathan
Hardy J Hardy yeah he's he's a friend on
Facebook and he's probably Mutual but he
says this guy is totally different from
his
comments I am totally different man you
got to understand I like the joke
exactly me personally I'm not I be a
certain way yeah but we do like to you
know our pranks man the things we do to
one another yeah and people don't you
know that was a a big thing and you kind
of helped me overcome that um about not
wanting people to see the joking side or
see the human side or see the struggle
side cuz doing my music over a certain
period of time and it's all about these
ecstatic awesome experiences with god
with angels aliens metaphysical
spirituality meditation all that stuff
is legit and all of it is a part of my
life but there's also the part that I
like to have fun I like to play video
games I you know what I'm saying I like
to do family vlogging with my family and
that I I love to laugh man exactly what
get through I love to laugh 100% right
dude laughter through this um you know
this experience you know because this
journey of mine hasn't been the easiest
so laughing exactly I just love it man
even if it's the EST things man I just I
just love it yeah laughter is a medicine
and I always say that that we have to be
able to laugh at this stuff because if
we don't some of it is so crazy it'll
drive us crazy like if you take yourself
too seriously like it'll drive you crazy
man when when when things don't line up
so you have to be able to laugh laugh at
yourself laugh at some of the things in
the belief system that you follow that
don't add up you know some of it is
hilarious man and and we you know we do
joke around a lot but when I started
showing that side of me some people got
upset they're like no you're a spiritual
leader you're a spiritual Guru like
you're the person that I look to for
affirmation there's no way you can you
can be funny there's no way you know
what I'm saying so I had to almost
pretend to be this other person that
I've almost created through my music
that part of me knew that because I am
that like I am the guru I am the one who
who prays and the one who um seeks God
diligently but there's also the side
that we like I like to play basketball I
like to tell jokes I like to make people
laugh all day when I'm around my family
my wife and daughter like one of my big
goals is to make them laugh CU I love to
see a smile brought to their we all we
we all have different sides you know
because like with me people get get like
my people just from looking at my
pictures think I'm some angry intense
guy yeah yet you beat me I'm like the
biggest clown you ever meet
yeah so that's even though we all have
points in our time where it's time to
yeah know quit dragging our feet and be
real you know yeah it's so and so it's a
weird it's a weird dichotomy to actually
draw the difference between that and
like okay do I let them see that side of
me or do you only get to see the
spiritual side that's all you get you
know and I think that's kind of a lie
though like you should get the whole
package and see how the spirituality
helps in my dayto day you know and and
how laughing helps in my day-to-day and
how marketing is a part of my life and
how doubt sometimes is a part of my life
and stuff like that like they should be
able to get the the the full picture to
really like you can't
appreciate I'm reading the comments
again John Judo imagine they saying I
can't see it man John Judo says angry
Alonzo but you know he's joking oh John
Judo I love John Judo man that man's a
beautiful individual even though he
could choke you out
and I know right that's what people say
when I I was talking to Watchman about
John Judo the other day and Watchman was
like dude I talked I talked to John Judo
and he's so Meek and peaceful and humble
and he's like a killer he's like a
trained killer you know R yeah rip your
neck but he's just so humble and meek
and and so and soft spoken so shout out
to John Judo
man yeah dude um but yeah so you helped
me even with the name of the podcast the
true Seeker podcast uh you know I don't
I got to have another name let's call it
mythicist so people feel involved or
people feel like it's something other
than me or whatever but essentially you
kind of helped me out man through
motivation and and and just telling me
not to be afraid to be myself man that's
huge that's huge man it really it is man
it is because um that's when it comes
you know when you just you're just just
s you know you start seeing people
flocking to you you know instead of
trying to fake and you know being
something you're not you
know
um there's it's just there just so much
to say but but just be just having this
level of authenticity to you that and
those who support you those who love you
like they love all of it it's so weird
man because even on the other spectrum
of the people who only know you like
these guys who some people are seeing
you for the first time here they only
know you what they're
saying they only know you as the troll
they only know you you know I'm saying
know you as the guy who tells jokes and
stuff so they're seeing a spiritual side
they're like wait you know they can't
but that's the funny thing though
because there's so many sides to me
there's the marketer web designer they
haven't even seen the marketer side they
haven't they haven't seen that side Stu
I've done with you my own personal story
which you know it's like beyond anything
you seen in a film you know so it's like
I dig it but you know we all have sides
to us man yeah it's weird cuz part part
of you is like okay you can't have those
sides cuz you're essentially
double-minded maybe split personality
you have these other personas that you
take on but essentially you're supposed
to like when you go into the business
realm and you go around uh professional
people you can't be around them being
you know the Alonzo that you are when
we're hanging out just us like you can't
you have to change your conversation you
have to change the way you talk maybe
the way that you pronunciate words like
it it is it is different man and it's
not you have to come to terms with that
it's like it's a part of life you know
that's a it was a big thing for me man
that's why I'm that's why I'm staying on
the subject a little bit you know it was
a huge thing for me to even name this
podcast what I call it and to be able to
have fun and let people see that and to
be able to be spiritual and let people
see that you
know yeah man um you got to be yourself
man and you got to quit worrying about
others opinions yeah others opinions do
not matter the only opinion that matters
is your own you know you know trust
yourself TR trust your gut instinct man
and you'll succeed at whatever you want
to do online or offline that's my that's
something I've always said to you
because I I understand man you're in a
different you know you're you're known
yeah yeah you're a Christian you're a
hip a Christian hip-hop artist so I
understand you got to tow the line but
you can you can also be yourself man and
um have fun and um you know because a
life without humor
man it's not a life you know yeah um be
jumping off Bridges
and laughter goes a long way man it
really does really does um you can't
take yourself too seriously but to kind
of get back on your story a little bit
talked about your upbringing man you've
told me some things
you you said you know you did say that
you're willing to you you know you're
willing to talk about so I want to talk
about your upbringing because I'm a half
open book I think that I think that that
um to your fans at least I'm a half open
book they they gonna hopefully they'll
get what I get today hopefully they're
better you know meet the alono that I
know today um you talked about your
upbringing and and there's so many
places we can go there but um first of
all talk about your brothers man
because you come from a family like
what's what's the next oldest brother to
you like who who like like what's the
difference in the age it's it's weird
because we can go we can go you know
this Brothers I have in New York who I
love to pieces you know um but they're
they they're my siblings from my
father's other marriage then the ones
that I was raised next the you were
raised yeah yeah the ones that I was
raised next to my mother's first
marriage my oldest brother's 60 years 61
years old yeah that's hug agap man and
then the second youngest after me would
have been my sister but she passed away
you know it's my my brother who's
um 52 52 so that's uh that's that's
almost 20 years right yeah almost 20
years older than you your brother and
you you talked to me my mother's my
mother's
81 you talk you talk to me about um
dealing with your brothers and dealing
with um you know being left alone with
them not even being left alone cuz you
talked about some things that would
happen in front of your mother man um
about trauma and the reason I'm I I want
to bring this up is not to to point a
finger but to to say that you don't have
a Oprah moment here man stop crying I
mean I had the same same encounters you
know what I'm saying with my brother
that you were bullied and you were beat
up and essentially tortured like used as
a a punching bag
I was I had almost cussed see I caught
myself but you know
um I wasn't bullied man these were grown
men yeah you know men punching a little
kid and beating the hell out of me man
it was you know so I grew up in an
environment dude where it was constant
like you know there was times when I was
see my brothers where I would be like
this yeah the PTSD man yeah man and um
everything I did was either a name call
or a punch in the face or a slap and it
was it was primarily two of my brothers
you know that that always did that to me
you know so um and then my
mother I don't know man she wasn't
really a protector she wasn't a provider
either and my father was a piece of
trash guy who I never seen to this day I
never see him yeah you know he was never
a part of my life so I don't consider he
I consider him um someone I know I don't
even when I see him there's no what's
the word there's no connection there's
no connection it's just an uncomfortable
feeling being around that that yeah that
man and um I don't know because he has
he had he himself has a he himself has a
total of um seven
children you know including me as seven
children my mother too including her she
has seven children and but my father he
raised all six of his kids and out of
but he never did anything for me he just
left you know so you know he's he he's
someone that you know I I have I don't
love him and I don't dislike him I you
know what I mean yeah I'm different I
have no feelings towards this individual
so let me ask you this because I have a
very similar story I I really don't know
my dad he walked out when I was like two
or three I the weird thing is I have
memories of my dad like in printed when
I was two or three you know what I'm
saying that's the weird thing to me but
he walked out as well um and I I was
tortured by my brother you know when
when my mom would go to work we'd be
left alone with him and he he's about
seven years older and he was watching us
when he was 10 we'd have to stay home
with him and he'd lock Us in dresser
drawers you know with sock drawer he put
us in a sock drawer make us lay down and
shut it and leave us there for hours
Trunks and stuff like that you talked
about a this weird feeling that I felt
cuz I was sharing it with you and you
was like like yeah I've been there you
talked about having this older man your
older brothers grown man grown man lay
on top of you and try to suffocate you
with the pillow and you're screaming
into the darkness of the pillow as a
child thinking you were going to die
because you can't breathe oh I remember
that one vividly man that happened like
1990 so I was 10 oh I remember like it
was yesterday man they were all in the
living room I don't know what the hell I
did automatically I get yanked I get
pushed around and then he he's like the
crazy one this little my my one of my
brothers was just out of his mind but um
he was even more at that time so he
would do he did something where I don't
know what I did he hit me then pushed me
on the couch and he took the pillow and
literally put it on my face and sat on
me with the pillow on my face yeah my
mother just sat just stood in the
doorway of the living room just
observing yeah and I remember when he
finally let me go man I just ran into
like this little you can even call it a
room just stay there man I was um
reading here in in the comments and uh
Kimberly is saying that she had a very
similar childhood and she had to
disassociate herself with people from
that time so she can cope with life
right and so what I've done um she says
that she say she says I'm like that I
have to focus on colors every second
near to help me stay in the now and um I
want to talk about like going through
that trauma and having a safe Zone
because you've talked to me and you've
talked about like maybe there would this
one thing that would save you and it is
comical but it is real I don't want but
it's g i I hope it don't lead me to
tears that I told you no let's talk
sound cheesy it may sound it may sound
cheesy to the audience man but this is
like mind you this 8 this is late 80s
early 90s so I don't do this anymore I'm
37 years old
but um I used to watch wrestling so
there was a character called The
Ultimate Warrior oh yeah and you know
that dude man I hope I don't cry man if
you make me cry but that dude man it was
like when he would pop on the TV it was
like an escape from me and I told you
man like when my brothers used to beat
me but the Ultimate Warrior you the yeah
so that was so that dude man when he
would pop up on that TV like my mind
were like yeah I felt safe even though I
wasn't yeah like I thought he was going
to help me you felt like you can call on
him in those situations like if you like
you don't you only need to call on them
if you have to like there's one day that
I'm going to call on them and you guys
are going to be sorry that's what I used
to tell my brothers man I know Warrior
tell the Ultimate Warrior and dude in
this the hand of God I'm not lying to
you because he passed away in
2014 and I happened to share the I I
went to his and I commented my little
story on his website and his wife
happened to read it and she replied back
to me man and I told her and um I told
him what what what that what that
character meant to me and my upbringing
and you know she sent me some nice
feedback off for that man and um it
really meant a lot because I would have
loved to have met that man because um I
probably would have cried like a little
girl just tell him my story what his
character meant because it was like a
protection you know you told you told me
about this guy back here sometimes too
man you know tell Bruce Lee he's still
alive you know when you're 10 and eight
you don't know no yeah yeah yeah yeah
man you and you can't
physically you can't physically defend
yourself
so for you know for me I think my safe
Zone when I was a kid was my dad because
I didn't know him excuse my language to
me he was he couldn't be a piece of [Â __Â ]
like he was a savior he was somebody
that if I ever got to go live with my
dad things would be better but I didn't
know that he was an alcoholic I didn't
know that all of these things that were
going on as a kid right just like you
don't know that the Ultimate Warrior
maybe had a drinking problem or a drug
problem or or or put his hands on women
or whatever he did that would tarnish
your view of that character right so in
those traumatic moments you'll say okay
if I have to this will you know I could
do that um two two places I want to go
with this is that now the zone is Jesus
you know what I'm saying like he's who
we can call on and and it is no theory
that one day I'll call upon him see
that's the that's the place we get in
trouble but when we first call upon him
and when we go through any trauma or any
fear cuz like you as a grown man like
the PTSD even though you've dealt with
that stuff and you've put it in certain
places and you've gotten a lot of
healing over the years there's still
times that that can affect you as an
adult and you have to call on Jesus like
you do I'm sure even talking about this
you're reliving because you have a
photogenic memory man and you're taken
back to the the time and place when it
happens and me too I'm getting I'm
fighting back tears as well talking to
you about this stuff so I know so that's
what's so beautiful about Jesus that
they say Jesus is a crutch you know some
people say it's like yeah well he can be
a crutch for people who are broken man
he he is and like you coming up without
a father I'm sure it's like like me the
Lord says I'll be a father unto the
fatherless so you can know the creator
of the universe in his intimate way
pretty much do it is motherless too
because my
mother you know we've grown we've we
have a relationship now yeah I'm I'm I'm
almost you know I'm creeping up on 40
you know now we're close and I've always
had a love for my mother and I T
interview it differently now you know
she did the best with the little that
she had you know we and I had a coward
for a father who just left you know and
my mother was a woman who was working in
a factory man I mean a factory from like
6:00 AM to like 5:00 P PM every day
minus the weekends man and she would
wake up at 400 am and walk to work yeah
you know mind you we were always get our
our electricity cut off I never had a
bed brother I never had a bed growing up
I slept on a box
spring and before that I slept on a this
couch that the that the the cushions
were worn out man you could feel the
Springs all in your back literally
dude no one gave a damn brother yeah
when it came to me no one cared you know
that's a lot of that's that's a lot of
children man and you were the last one
no these were grown men already I was
the you know but these were you know sad
to say I love my brothers they still and
that's the thing that's a part of me
that I still love these guys you know
what I mean but um these were grown bum
men that were still living at home and I
was 10 eight nine 10 yeah you know and
um so yeah man it's
um it's but I made it through you know I
made it through through all that and
then goodness so much more happened
after the age of 15 after I went off on
my own yeah you know so I just want to
let everybody know that the phone lines
are open if you guys want to call in and
chime in on the conversation or if you
have questions as well the phone lines
are open to do that the number is in the
description of the video and scrolling
across the bottom I do see we have
callers on hold now we will take these
calls here in a little while so just be
patient with this
um I know we're getting deep man this is
stuff that we've talked about before and
I just want to I like that you know we
have everything in one one episode man
one interview cuz some some of this
stuff is spaced out in several
interviews we've talked about but but
you were you were um interviewed by the
news and you were um I think um haral
haraldo contacted you this certain um
thing that that happened to you man if
you want to talk about contacted about
haraldo yeah I was on his radio show and
um I did a via satellite interview with
him yeah my sister and niece were
murdered in 2013 in their homes and
their home rather um yeah CRA you know
she was murdered by some guy she had
broken up with over a year and he broke
in and U murdered her and my little my
niece who was 25 at the time in the
house in front of the children that were
murdered so yeah and you were the only
one who was trying to bottom I was the
only one that was vocal because you know
in Puerto Rican culture man I don't know
you know I'm not your typical Puerto
Rican it's like people are just my
mother I understand she didn't know
better you know I mean she's you know
she's grieving and then her and my
sister were
just super close and I was close to my
sister too man we were always texting
each other we were always joking that
was our relationship when we did see
each other it was always like me
grabbing her and you know I'mma shame
all your hair off you know that was our
relationship because she was my older
sister if she was alive she would be
turning 45
but I F I always felt like the older
brother yeah that she was always coming
to me like because they called me Ralph
he was like hey Ralph figure this out
for me can you do this for me I was like
constant so I loved her the pieces man
it's still it's still unreal you know
that she's in her and my niece are in a
you know in a cold grave you know when
they should be what right now they would
be working if they were alive you know
so that's something that um you ever get
over yeah you get you move forward but
it's like another piece of your heart's
ripped out
man it had to be hard man I talked to
you several times about it oh yeah man
it you know was like go ahead that yeah
that was a sibling that you were the
closest to as well right because you
have all I love to the pieces man all
these brothers and sisters but the one
that you were closest with was the one
that it happened to
right yeah man we cuz um we had a I
don't know we were like buddies you know
that was our relationship man we were
she was quick to crack on me but it was
done in a a loving way you know it was
it wasn't done in a mean-spirited way I
was quick to crack on her but it was all
done for a place to love and now you do
that with me be honest with one another
you know now you're always cracking on
me Alonzo and and people on
Facebook you do too man you get me good
man I get you too
good do get be good we can't talk about
without it's fine man I dude I I got a
great sense of humor man I know man yeah
and we need that man um and there was
there's another instance of that that
that stood out to me you talked about
being 15 years old um living with your
mom coming home coming home after school
walk in the door and what what's there
she's gone
she just left no no no nothing man so
mind you I'm just mid mid 15 like 15 and
a half so I come home from Central High
School in Providence from Providence
Rhode Island and um I get
home hungry but I'm like shoot man I'm
not GNA be no food here so you know I
get home no one's there so I sat around
I sat around the house for a good three
hours I'm like okay no one to call no
one to communicate I don't know what's
going on you know but then out of
nowhere like maybe um 8 800 pm at night
or something my older brother this the
one who's in his 60s shows up and um hey
I'm like where's Mom oh she's not coming
back I mean where is she she's not
coming back and she and then you know he
told me what happened and yeah man but
he my older brother he stayed with me
man he said listen she wants me to leave
you alone here too and not come back and
but I'm not going to do that I'm going
stay here with you so he stayed with me
and then you know I'm a quick you even
then man I am like I am now on your toes
I'm on my toes man I'm like all right
all right I gotta find someone that
happen I gotta make something happen so
I remember this older lady I knew had
this like three three three story home
and um I went to her and I explained to
her my situation mind you you can't
really work back then till you were
16 so I explained to her that night I
went to her house and I told her what
was going on she's like okay I have this
little it was just everything was in one
room in this apartment man I mean I
could like turn off the light turn off
the sink flush the toilet with my foot
that's
how so she said I got this little room
up there you can stay there until you
turn 16 and I was like two and a half
months away from two months away from
turning 16 so she let me stay there and
um soon as I turned 16 man I went to
like this little temp
agency they gave me a job and I was
doing odd jobs and then I finally landed
working at Brown University did that for
a few years well you talk you talked
about like um minimum minimum wage was
uh like 525 550 back then this is n this
is like mid 96
so you you talked about whenever you
found out that your mom left didn't you
quit school the next day like you never
went back to school after I had to I had
had to something said all right work or
be homeless drop out of school there was
really no yeah so and I was a decent
student man you know I was
always I always been quick to learn
because learning is easy all you got to
do is pay attention that's how you learn
you know you talk you talked about um
H having a phone call and actually
talking to your mom that
night yeah she uh how did that phone
call go she basically said
well it was just some vicious out of out
of the air non like stuff she was saying
and I'm like well what about me you know
I'll call your dad like I don't see my
dad I'm going to call my dad barely know
the guy I can say I'll tell him to help
you but my my brother's already here he
was already there he's like you know and
I was crying man I'm a kid yeah but she
was saying that she didn't want you and
and she wasn't your mother anymore right
all that stuff man she was just being
vicious and you know and I went after
that happened man I went a good two
years two and a half years without
seeing my mother until you know my
brother one day appeared with her at my
house and I was like I went and even
that man I went another two years
without calling her mom I was calling
her by her name yeah you
know how was that how was that first
interaction when you seen her check this
out that day he brought her mind you I
was this is no lie brother because the
minimum wage like I told you was like
525
550 I was surviving on balone and this
is so salami sandwiches and corn flakes
that's all I was surviving on I had long
hair I probably 115 pounds at the time
15 years old 16 you know your body's
changing you know but that day I didn't
see her for like two years so I was
already turning 18 19 she comes with
this big old bowl of like food and you
know me trying to be the angry angry guy
you know I'm like oh get out of here get
out of here you know but in my in the
back of my head I was like man
[Laughter]
I'm what it got me through the week
eating portions you know yeah man it's
rough man because I did tell her to
leave when she did show up yeah my
brother I said get her get her out of
here but then she she came back again
and you know mve forward from there you
know told me where she lived and you
know we I would go visit here and there
you
know so so how's
that I mean your relationship now she
said you know now you have a a loving
Rel relationship I know it's I know it's
hard to forget man but you you got to
kind of prepare yourself mentally around
them and you can't like blame them you
kind of you have to look at them for
being a victim as well and see what
they've been through and what made them
do that to you but for you to still be
able to be around her and call her mom
and and still love her like talk a
little bit about that like your
relationship now I love my mother now
man you know cuz I understand you know
cuz you know you look back at it you
look at her you know at her age now
you're like she's you know she's 81 and
you
say you know you look and then you learn
and then as time went on you learn about
her own upbringing how she was raised
you know my mother's a a a Puerto Rican
woman you know and a black Puerto Rican
woman at that you know so she was raised
in a a different type of environment
like in the 30s and and 50s you know
because my mother came to to to America
in 1952
she was like 15 16 years old you know
and she always was
raised almost like uh feeling less than
and that's pretty much you know it's
kind of like you become the parent that
your parent was almost you know for some
so she she treated her children how she
was treated you know so but
um I I've forgiven her man I love my
mother you know so so I reached that
point where I view her with with a lot
of love and then I view my mother as a
very strong woman too man because all
all the losses we had we lost a brother
in 93 we we we had a we had this with my
sister and niece and just you know all
the losses within the family and just to
see her so strong and still here you
know yeah upright and and even her my
mother my mother has this intense way
about her but great sense of humor you
know nothing she wouldn't do for anyone
he say she doesn't talk though she yells
right oh yeah I could just picture that
man you know I do you know I do a little
impersonation of your mom all the time
that's one thing
we always yelling dude yeah like Mom
calm
down Cal down I said I told her I said
you should have became like a boxer or
something yeah was
like you know uh there was a story you
told
that you had so talking about hanging
out with other friends you know and that
was weird for me too like cuz I come
from a broken home but as a kid you
don't know you don't know it that's just
life to you you you adjust you know but
then you find out your friends are
treated differently your friends have a
loving father in the home I remember
spending a night with some friends and
their dad was wrestling with them like
like picking them up and body slamming
them and they were jumping on them
trying to choke them and like I was
there and I did it too and it was so
weird for me to be interacting with
their dad like that and like I didn't
have that you know what I'm saying and
like it's so weird to to like you don't
know what you have until it's gone or
until you don't have it I was able to
experience like man this is normal for
people they have a loving father like I
wish I don't know if I'll ever have that
you know what I'm saying so exactly man
yep you talked about having a really
close friend and and his father
was he still my Still Still that he's
not my friend that's my brother man you
know um yeah his his name is Greg and
his dad is called we call him big Greg
because he's a big dude he's like 65
yeah and even though Greg himself my
friend he's pretty big too he's like 6'2
but you know but yeah man growing up I
met him when I was like in 1990 I was
about 10 and he was like nine eight or
nine in the fourth grade so fourth or
fifth grade we met um yeah man we became
really close man um to this day you know
sadly you know certain things you know
life you know such as anything in life
you you don't really drift apart but you
don't hang out like you used to that's
just life you know he has children and
you know me and we don't see each other
every day but that's like his dad was
someone that I just um love the pieces
man how was it going over to his house
and being like man you got a bed
you got a bed dog what can I sleep in
the bed dude I there was times and I
told and I remember one time I was
talking to his mom about this you know
I'm grown now and so I shared things
about with with them now I said you know
what I used to try to hang around an
extra hour later just so you guys can
offer me some
food and his mother teared up over that
she's like why didn't you tell us you
know and you know I used to goty to hang
around as late as I could just to get it
because you know they were always very
much ready to offer you know I'm like
all right it's six o'clock right let me
hang around to you know dinner what
y'all cooking for dinner supper like
they
say that was but you know um even my
friend man and he's a real tough guy man
even he you know when we talk about
those days because he he seen in himself
the stuff I went through he like and and
that that was something when I last saw
him he told me that he always admired
that about me because he saw what I went
through and out of all the friends we
had along the way the only one that
didn't go down a certain path or do
certain things was me I didn't really
follow the crowd you know yeah but out
of all of them I should have been like
the most
angry violent dude you know I'm like you
should be the one in jail you know you
should or making mistakes statistic yeah
yeah like other mistakes like some of
our other friends have made sadly is
this is this the same um friend who
whose dad bought you the uh the S of
Genesis yeah but you know that that's I
I want to say the positive side of that
okay well I we got we gotta kind of set
the story up too though so people yeah I
want to touch on the positive side of
that because well let's I never I never
really got I never really got anything
for Christmas ever yeah like the only
one that would give me a little gift
ever was my brother Michael who
committed suicide and he will always
give me something man it wasn't much but
he would give me something yeah but man
I was like I think this is one the first
um what was it called PlayStation the
first PlayStation came out so I was
already like six like 15 16 something
like that and they called me over and I
didn't really want to go over you know
because you know it's holidays people
are with families and um yeah man he
surprised me with like a a PlayStation
man it just made my day you know and it
was like wow you know and it were much
more expensive
oh yeah that was about the price of a
Xbox back then yeah yeah you know this
is like when it first came out and I was
like Wow even gave me a game and all
that so you know like w thanks you were
like super happy to get it man you've
never gotten a gift essentially
especially that big man so how' you feel
like driving home with it like having it
you ready to play it man you know yeah
man I was excited dude and I was like in
awe of it man because I was like wowow
someone went out of their way to spend
this kind of money on me me you know so
that's that's why I love that guy with
all my heart man and um to this day man
there's such a reverence and respect for
the guy that's the only guy in this on
this planet big Greg if he would have
told me to shut the bleep up and slap me
I wouldn't do anything out of the love
for that guy because I view him like a
father man you know he kind of views me
like a son too because when he talks to
me he's always like Ralph come around
more man
like you know me big Greg I I go where I
need to be you know but um talking about
the PlayStation you you said you you
actually never played that PlayStation
that he gave you though
right well you know I was older and you
know but I appreciated it man and um but
it it was a reason that was something
that was said to you on the way home
though yeah yeah but I don't really want
to touch we
don't I don't want to touch on why
didn't you play it why didn't you play
the PlayStation it's all good man it's
all good I don't I know I know I don't
want to touch on it because we got past
that and um just say this there was
something that was said that tarnished
the the the feeling at the moment but I
still always appreciated the the the
sentiment behind it so I'll leave it at
that but something did tarnish it okay
but I don't want to touch on that
because I just have so much love for
that yeah yeah yeah yeah definitely um
you know so talking about how you know
you should have been the statistic you
should be the one in jail you should be
the one that has nothing you know what
I'm saying but you've created a life for
yourself that's very comfortable now
you're able it's funny it's funny
um God always provided a way for me dude
like I never as when I went off on my my
own I never lacked money you know what I
mean not that I'm I'm far from wealth
I'm not a rich or anything but God
always provided a way for me to maintain
myself and take care of myself and you
know the last you know the last almost
10 years I've been doing it in a bigger
way online you know so that's basically
you know how I I connected with you
through that and plus we had a boatload
of mutual friends but uh pretty much man
uh the last 10 years I've been doing my
thing online and from from home you
know um would you say that uh through
all that adversity and the the trauma
and the stuff that that comes with it
man like how did your relationship with
Christ help you to to maintain man you
know what I'm saying to actually be a
successful person to actually show love
to other people even when you feel like
you haven't been shown that much love
and so many people would take that to
heart and be like you know what I wasn't
loved so I don't have love to give you
know what I'm saying because you're
you're like genuinely like a real you
know what I'm saying really good dude
man you're a good friend and stuff like
that um how does your relationship with
Christ
coming to play with that man cuz like
for me it it totally helps me to cope
and whatever's good in me is because
because of him you know and I'm thankful
that I'm here because I should have been
a statistic too like all my family
members are I hate to say that my
brother's locked up some of them are
addicted to to substance and things like
that
so how does your faith in Christ you
know what I'm saying come to play with
where you are now and why you are
successful you know well you know no him
man and just that relationship with him
and it it does give you a that Spirit
where you view things differently man
you know you don't you don't tend to you
know I have my moments where I do get
pissed and you know have that human
nature but yeah I don't know he when
Christ comes in man he does change You
Inside Man and and it helps you cope
with a lot because I've been through
more than your average been through so
you know it's that
um he gives you that resilience man to
bounce back up man that's something I've
always I you know gota you gotta get
back up man because um that's something
through through knowing him and building
a relationship with with him and with
God that's what what I've learned is
just being resilient and knowing this
two Shall Pass type of thing you know it
kind of helps you see the positive where
there's only negative to be viewed you
know what I'm saying like even there's a
story in the in the Bible talking about
the valley of dry bones and seeing this
huge army man of soldiers man and
they're all dead it's just dry bones
they've they've dead they're over their
life has come their legacy is behind
them but to be able to speak to those
dry bones to speak to the dead places
and Speak Life to a situation or
circumstance where death is riging man
you know what I'm saying so and that
that's Alchemy like that is being able
to make gold out of lead and to take
something and make something out of this
life and breathe life into it man and
that's what God has done to your life
man you know what I'm saying and
empowered you to take that same breath
and breathe it into areas of your life
that's so powerful man and people need
to understand that With God all things
are possible man and I think your story
is like 100% uh proving that you know
exactly Man without him man we're
nothing whether you want to deny him or
not without him we're
nothing so so so what do you um as far
as cuz you're you're big on me about
speaking positive affirmations like I
said not believing not having faith or
maybe we'll make something happen but
know it to see it in your mind's eye and
to create it like where does the power
come into play for you with
that of making something happen out of
nothing I'm big into visualization I've
talked to you a lot about that and I've
even told you to do that for yourself
you know so I'm big into like seeing
it praying about it but also following
through you know on your own end but um
dude this been times where I I'll think
of
something and dude it's like just comes
man yeah you almost got to C I was
talking to you about this yesterday you
almost got to look up with smile it's
like okay that was fast you know that
type of thing you know sometimes it is
man yeah you know so dude there been
times man I have nothing to eat in my
home nothing this was when I was in my
late teens man nothing automatically
something would pop up an opportunity or
to do something money would come you
know or you get invited somewhere and
you get get a meal in you know so there
would be circumstances like that you
know growing up and when I was when I
went off on my own man and where it's
like there's too many to count man the
situations where I've been in where I
literally have to look up and like just
smile it's like man God that was quick
that was quick delivery you know you
know so you know it's um I don't know
crisis changes you man God and Christ
Chang you and um where you you you you
tend to be more
um you know sympathetic more uh
understanding even to those who harm you
man yeah you know you're not so quick to
like you know judge them yeah I mean it
does it does have dud I'm the least
judgmental dude on the planet man I have
love for everybody you know I'm you
know let me um we do have a caller on
the line we've had a couple but if you
guys want to call in we should be able
to take your calls now um we got a
caller calling in from Northwest
Arkansas who we speaking with
hey truth it's Hunter yet again what's
up Hunter Hughes what's up brother how
are
you oh I'm doing all right just chilling
here long at work so you're at
work yeah I work overnight so yeah
that's always fun heard that yeah man
you've been enjoying the
conversation it's like it's like I'm
sitting here I've been trying to think
of a question to ask honestly I can't
think of a question because I'm just I'm
was sitting here speechless listening to
Alonzo's testimony Prett much I'm just
like oh wow how that You' been able to
make it so long if it was me I would
left this a long time ago just the fact
that you've been able go through all
that and still be here and use that as a
testimony and Prett much Che to yourself
and your spiritual walk I'm just like
wow oh thank you man thank you man and
um I'm sure your your walk with Christ
is pretty strong too man so I've heard
you before on the show so kudos to you
too my
friend yeah this is the first time I've
actually listened to you talk because
I've heard of you before but I've never
actually got to like hear you talk and
hear about your life and all this is for
some I actually got to speak to you
Lonzo so it's a privilege thank you man
likewise likewise do you need help while
we have you on the phone Hunter um
because you do hip hop as well and
you're in a in a similar boat to myself
and Alonzo's helped me with marketing
and and getting the music out there and
stuff like that do you have any
questions you want to ask him about that
because he's totally that's what he does
for a living man you want to ask him
anything about that why don't we have
him uh not nothing I can think of at the
moment right now but oh definitely you
got Facebook right Alonzo yes sir you
can find me everywhere man all
right all right I'll have to look you up
then we can get connected then because
right now I don't have anything but I'm
sure eventually I will have
yeah man any question feel free brother
I'm always uh accessible and
available right well I do have something
I would like to talk to you guys about
something that interesting that happened
to me
recently if I get if I if you guys don't
mind time man
yeah um okay so this happened was
um uh I started listening to your uh
podcast TRS uh there's an app out there
called
Comcast okay and so you're I don't I
don't know if you upload yourself or if
it's just through everything else but I
your podcast show up on there so I
listen to that I listened to uh the
podcast we did with Mars for the first
time because I had listen to that one
yet when you talk about the cult
witchcraft all that yeah and I just and
I just remember I really got intoed when
we started talking about um his
different experiences with the
demons and so
I just remember
um hold up sorry I having to stretch
I've been stuck on the couch for a
while and so um I just remember um I was
uh right right as I took the headphones
out of my ears out the podcast
ended I started getting this weird
threat I started getting this like
conscious
sense like there was something around me
but I couldn't see it like I felt it was
there but I couldn't see
it and pretty much what I came to
conclusion is um by listening to that
podcast I because I never really played
with the idea of demons much like I know
like we have our fight with our inner
demons but I that's kind was a cliche
that's usually like that's Christian
cliche for the most part but act but I
think after that it opened up my mind
and I was able to what if I'm not
mistaken I'm actually was able to sense
the demons that were around
meh it's like cuz it's like could feel
like it was strong after that like they
like they were surrounding me it felt
like
yeah cliches are usually clich for a
reason like they've they they've talked
about a lot for a reason so that should
when you hear that you know that's what
a meme is a meme is something that you
see over and over again something
reoccurring in your life cliches are
usually cliches because they have some
truth to
them yeah it felt like I had like two
it's like I had like two conscious eyes
in the back of my head just kind of
watching like I couldn't see them but
it's like my conscience is like I could
yeah at the same time which was weird
and it's
like anytime that you're listening to
spiritual material anytime you're um
even watching spiritual stuff on
television you know spiritual movies
that have a talk about the occult and
presence and stuff it kind of makes that
stuff more real in your life and show
you areas almost like if there if
there's something in your life that's
hiding right it's not like you listen to
it and they came to you it's almost like
you have these areas in your life that
these Spirits or entities or belief
systems are hidden away and when you
listen to the material or you read the
Bible or or spiritual content it kind of
shines light to where they're hiding and
then so they have to kind of run around
and move and so it kind of brings them
forth and you kind of like oh wow
there's something there like I'm dealing
with something similar that Alonzo is
dealing with or or Derek and so um a lot
of times listening to that stuff makes
it come forth man and so a lot of times
it's just God showing you different
places that you need to to deal with in
your own spiritual walk to kind of get
to that next level and deal with those
Spirits demons or strongholds that are
holding you back in these certain areas
and won't let you move forward it's like
Alonzo just said a while ago he said
that most um people end up being fathers
or being parents just just like their
parents were even that that is a
generational curse spoken of in the
Bible of these Spirits familiar spirits
that are familiar with your family
familiar with your your your genealogy
and have been with your parents and now
they're with you and so you have to deal
with those things like you have to break
that curse through the power of Christ
because if not if your dad was a drunk
most likely you may be a drunk you know
what I'm saying but and it just happens
by default it do you know people don't
even spiritualize that you're just like
like father like son and so we have to
deal with those things man and that's
where the power of Christ comes in this
relationship where he can shine light on
them and we see them scattering and we
can deal with them man one at a time and
so that's a blessing that you've been
able to feel that and going through that
process Hunter is kind of scary because
you didn't know that they were there you
didn't know there was these things
around you I have family members who
don't like to deal with that stuff and
would rather keep their demons and
they've told me this they would rather
keep their demons because talking about
them or trying to get healing from them
would just scare them like they would
rather not talk about it and have a
supernatural Encounter of a demon
approaching them in the middle of the
night or something they're afraid of
that that's that's that's funny that you
mentioned that because my mom is a s was
a
Santa and my grandmother was a Santa so
uh they would my My grandmother used to
talk about seeing dead people like it
was like me seeing you right now yeah
regular stuff to her and you know I was
one of the cats I don't believe in that
nonsense I think it's demonic because I
seen it myself how it works so I would
tell I would tell my mother man I would
take that Saint and shatter it right
here yeah because they were praying the
Saints and stuff you told me about that
my Saints don't you touch my Saints my
mom had my mom had a ritual I used to
see it 10 years old walking out of
wherever the heck I was sleeping at that
time walking out and seeing her in the
in the in the kitchen where she had this
huge Saint you know and her ritual with
the cigars and stuff you know it was
little creepy man for a nine 10 year old
you know and um but at the end it's all
bll B baloney you know it's like it has
no real Power Man St Lazarus you know
throwing her throwing Quarters at them
and smoke and all this stuff it was just
so I grew up around that too seeing my
grandmother and my mother practiced
these things you know yeah and that was
crazy too because that's kind of that's
kind of funny he brings up the Mars
interview because you were you know you
you know what I'm saying I me and you
talked about the whole Santa Ria thing
and that's what that's what was in on
and were too I was that's why I said
that dude Puerto Rican or something man
because he was like boom boom boom boom
he had it all man yeah all rituals and
stuff that they do and it's all it's all
me it's all mental man if if you believe
in it that there's a curse on you or
someone's doing a a hex of course it's
going to fall upon you because you're
believing this yeah it's nonsense dude
but the but the lengths that they go
when they do these things or the rituals
themselves to the Saints it's just like
he talked about killing chickens and
monkeys and stuff like that and well not
not monkeys but my I seen being killed
this this whole thing where they do it's
just silliness man you know what they do
to people and at the end of the day but
there is the truth to it man because the
Saints will give you what you want you
live lovely for a while
but they'll come to collect come to
collect but they're not going to collect
what they gave you yeah they're coming
to collect something else more yeah you
know yeah that's the weird thing about
dealing with spirits and and demons and
entities and stuff and so we have the
one up we can go straight to Christ you
know what I'm saying we go straight to
the one who is over see that's the whole
thing was powerful about Jesus because
these other Spirits they have to bow to
him like he holds he holds all authority
they must bow to the feet of King Jesus
it's funny I told my told my mom that I
said uh scream scream St Lazarus to a
demon yeah see what I said that to my
mother you know she start screaming I've
always been that way with my mom and now
it's funny she has none of that no more
yeah you told me you were like the
policeman you would go over there
looking oh yeah looking through the
closets and trying to find if she still
has them and now she's old she I don't
have them I don't have
them I break them man smash the idols
yeah
well the good the really interesting
part about it is um since I've been able
to S now that I can have an idea of
sensing demons it's like I I kind of
have an idea of like what they're
planning it almost feels like sometimes
because um I told you about this true
seet but I'll say a short and sweet
version for Alonzo was um a while back
uh this was before I started really
getting into tra and all the stuff that
he was talking about and getting into
spirituality um I watched the uh
it was a documentary about Illuminati in
the music industry one of the things
they talked about was a demon called
brainman and what this demon job pretty
much would be was to entice the person
to sell their soul to the devil in the
music industry and I had shared with um
truth Seeker that one time a person did
come to me the rain man did come to me
in the form of a of a human and I didn't
realize at the time till later but that
demon in in the end pretty much failed
at trying to entice me and so what I
think realized after especially what
happened that night when I F figured I
could sense them now around me that that
pretty much Lucifer or Satan or whatever
pretty much says okay sending them in
human for work so we're going mess with
his mind and so that's pretty much what
so pretty much like see I can sense the
demons I but it's like I can't sense
when they play games with me but
afterwards though like if one of them
has touched my mind to put negative
thoughts or negativity in my head after
that demon has left I get the sudden
pain in the back of my head like
something was it like it's like it's
something that something was tampered
with pretty much because what happened
was a right after I listen to that
Marshal podcast s of demons around me um
something happened at work and all of a
sudden I felt this huge rush of anger
just wash over me and I got into it with
the with a manager that
night and afterward after the smoke head
and all that it's like again there was
this pain in the back of my head and
some was like okay something's not right
there so it's like so it's like now I've
been trying to prepare myself because I
realized how much I was unprepared for
these attacks from Satan and a demon
that I need to start focusing more on my
spiritual walk and make sure I can
protect myself from stuff like
that yeah that's the whole thing that
people don't understand I think it's
because of Hollywood and and because of
even like old church paintings and stuff
that that show you these pictures of
these demons or these manifestations of
a little monster and stuff like that
like we think that that's how they look
right and these entities these Fallen
Spirits what they are are thought
patterns they are vibrations we talk
about walking in vibrations and feeling
they they come in the form of what we we
call ungodly belief they attack you
through your mind man through suggestion
there sometimes you know even in my
younger days when I did read the Bible a
lot you know they would mess up your
your your focus you know study dude we
talked yesterday about you hearing this
or having this urge to do something
that's true and it's been creepy because
I'm like I'm not that type of cat I'm
like you know what I mean so just
sitting around and having an urge like a
negative thought like not a it's like an
overwhelming it's not just to have I
think when stuff like that comes to your
mind man it's just talk to God I don't
believe in the word I don't like using
the word prayer just talk to God man and
it'll get you yeah get through it man
that's part of like the confession man
to speak the blessing of God over
yourself to speak truth over yourself
and they'll leave that's how they flee
man um because they come as ungodly
thought forms about yourself I'm stupid
I'll never be nobody that's something
right there brother because that's
something um when you get negative
thoughts like that at least I've done
this with myself because it's just me
you know um you got to be your own like
I've said it before be your own
cheerleader man be your own motivator
uplift yourself you know when you get a
negative thought like I'm not good
enough you be like oh yeah I'm good
enough yeah you know you can actually
learn you can learn the voice of the
enemy it may sound it may sound cheesy
but brother when it's just you be your
own number one fan man you learned The
Voice voice of the enemy so when you
hear like hold on I am good enough and
you learn what it sounds like Will Smith
talks about that he talks about the two
his two keys in life are reading books
because there's nobody who's ever
existed who hasn't dealt with a
situation that they haven't wrote about
it in a book so reading and reading how
other people got through situations and
running and he says running is so
powerful because if you're on a
treadmill and you're running and you're
trying to lose weight you're trying to
get in shape and you hear that voice
tell you all right let's go ahead and
stop let's go ahead and stop like that's
that fight or flight hold on wait wait I
want to keep going I got another 10
minutes and I I can do it I can
physically do it no it's time to stop
let's get off you learn that voice of
the doubter and you learn how to quiet
it so when it comes later on in life
you're stupid you're not meant to have a
family you're not meant to have good
things you hear you shut it up you
silence it you got You Gotta Laugh at
You Gotta Laugh at those type of Stu
like said who yeah you know like you
know that's the power of speaking
positive affirmations over your life and
knowing who you are I've got in in my in
my bathroom my personal mirror I've I
stood in the mirror and I took a marker
and I seen my Silhouette and I wrote all
the way around me where I wouldn't be in
the mirror I wrote the blessings of God
you're more than a conqueror you are the
righteousness of God created in Christ
Jesus to do good works you are head and
not the tail
you know you are loved you are this you
are that and I look at it and I speak
those affirmations and see them and
speak it over
myself yeah that's true
man yeah one of the things that um I go
true seeet this I don't know if you ever
heard me talk about but for the longest
time I was struggling with suicidal
thoughts and Prett
much yeah it came to time almost one but
the crazy thing is ever since I was able
to sense of demons and word the prances
around me I haven't I haven't had those
thoughts as much surprisingly it's
like I just realized that the other day
it's like you gotta reject
those you gotta reject those stuff with
you gotta reject those thoughts with
positive thoughts man you know so don't
when you have a you know suicidal
thought or or if you battle in
depression man you got to negate it and
replace it with a positive thought about
yourself man I hear you you're a good
rapper man just think about that or
think about your family or you know
replace it with a positive thought man
to get you through that because you know
that's not from God you wanting to harm
yourself in any way man you know yeah
one of the things that I would do like
if I sense there's a dark or negative
presence around me that shouldn't be
there it's like I was it's like when I
was first thinking about like how would
I fight these back like I wasn't sure
like do I say certain things do I need
to do certain stuff and I just settled
on a prob much
I GRE pretty much I say the prayer as I
was a kid I will in my head say the
Lord's Prayer and that to me that I say
the Lord's Prayer that's calling God to
watch over me and protect me from Evil
and when and after that prayer is done
that negative and dark influence or
power is gone yep after I finish that
Lord's
Prayer yep and it's just like and so
that's just that's just something uh for
you that creates a place of Solace and
and it is a positive thought it is a
positive affirmation
um and so that that's that's what's so
powerful about that and that's what
powerful about symbols and crosses and
things like that like people wear
crosses or people hold their Bible and
pray over people with it like I compel
you by the power of Jesus like there's
no power in like that physical book or
that necklace of the Cross or whatever
the case is but when you see those
things or crosses on the walls or
symbols like there's no power in that
symbol but the power is when that when
you see it it brings a thought to you
and that's where the power is and so you
know people can hear or see the symbol
and and feel two different type of ways
when they see it it means something
different to them so to go to that place
of like okay this is what helps me this
is what brings me Solace I hold up my
cross I I say my prayers I do my rosary
for Catholics you know what I'm saying
or you know what I'm saying the malabs
for you know what I'm saying a Hindu or
whatever the case is that kind of brings
you to that place of safety man you
know and it's a spiritual warfare it's a
daily fight and so for Alonzo to been
been through everything he's been
through over the years and been so
advanced in spirituality we didn't
really talk about it but he's had a lot
of angelic encounters and encounters
with Christ as well man so to be able to
go through all that and be upon a
mountain and go through the valley and
be upon the mountain and be in a good
place but still be tempted by some of
the elementary things that should have
been gone a long time ago like thoughts
of suicide like you have to admit that
cuz like we we deal with it I deal with
it like we deal with negative thoughts
it's not like we reach a level of
assension and we're good like we're good
no it's a daily battle I think I think
people that have that constant Battle of
suicidal thoughts or maybe I should just
off myself it's because they're here for
a great purpose exactly you know and um
that's why I say negate it man with a
positive thought of just laugh at it man
y you know because uh we're all here to
we're all here to do great great things
man everyone no matter what Walk of Life
you you are in you know that is that
we're here to leave a impact that is the
great spiritual warfare that people are
talk so much about and write books about
and teach about it's all in the mind it
is the Battlefield of the Mind it is the
thought patterns forms and ideas and
there it it does get deep though like
you can get really esoteric and deep
about so simple all that comes from like
you got to be your own best friend too
man you know you got to you know you got
to know who you are man you got to know
your power and authority and Christ
gives you that in Christ like you have
power to to actually tread among
serpents you have power to drink deadly
poisons and I heard it I heard it said I
heard it said I heard it said what man
is the only creature who does not know
who he
is you know it's it's a it's it's an
ever learning thing you know a lion
knows he's a lion but man doesn't know
his power you know so that's so true
well actually pretty go ahead I I was
GNA say real quick it's actually funny
that it bring of spiritual warfare one
of the other podcast I really got into
was your podcast about the Zodiac in the
Bible with Santos Bachi did I pronounce
that right yeah that's
him and um because one and so I was just
looking up that's part because start
list of such charies in the Bible and
this is I don't know if the this just
based on what the couple up have looked
at so far the few times that the
sagittary shows up in the Bible was
always during times of like Great War of
a Great War where the physical was
spiritual was when the sagittaria showed
up during a great spiritual or physical
War so I think it's funny that we talk
about spiritual warfare and I just
happen to be
Sagittarius yeah those are different
signs that were born under and and most
Christians they kind of just kind of you
know what I'm saying write that stuff
off but it is it is powerful man because
um like you know say and the word
prophet in the Bible translates to sear
the word Seer translates to Stargazer
like the the early prophets and they
didn't have technology all they had was
books writing and they had their you
know what I'm saying their spiritual
practice and and they gazed at the stars
man they read the stars and even even
the scriptures talk about that the stars
are given to us for signs and seasons
and and and different wonders and stuff
all that stuff's mentioned of in the
Bible we talk about the Zodiac Zodiac
they're there for a purpose they're not
you know what I'm saying to be worshiped
and and all that kind of stuff but
they're definitely there as a
essentially as a calendar if you're a
Sagittarius this is what's going to
happen in your life these energies are
going to be around you you're going to
be more irritable and people who study
this stuff man they have like things
work for them like they know when
they're going to have a bad day not a
bad day but when they're more Su
susceptible to be around people or to be
around large crowds or um to to focus on
their business more because you know
these These Things Are lining up for
them and that's totally scriptural you
know what I'm saying and and if if you
want to look it up just for those who
are listening who who have never heard
this but the zodiac is in the Bible
under the name mazero if you if you go
to a Bible search engine type in mazero
and that is what the zodiac is called in
there if you look up the definition
it'll tell you that it's the Zodiac and
all the constellations are mentioned in
the bible as well we never hear we never
hear that stuff you know so if you want
to it's not it's not taught in your
local church and it's more it's more um
Gnostic sounding as well so yeah all
that all that stuff's mentioned in in
there so you could do your own research
as well and just let God blow your mind
opening that whole thing for you what
you did with me you know it was awesome
so well Hunter dude we're we're coming
up on the end of the show man thanks for
calling in brother and uh we we'll talk
with you soon
man thank you man all right and you're
welcome Lonzo make sure to hook you up
on Facebook here in the bit that way we
can keep in touch definitely all right
brother take care all right love you
both love you man shalom shalom peace
likewise yeah man Lono man great episode
dude we we went to some places there's
still many places that we didn't go yeah
we will be here like for three hours and
we keep talk about my people would be in
tears if we went more into my story I
think I think it's important to you know
what I'm saying to know where you came
where you came from in order to know
where you're going where you're headed
right like if you don't know where you
came from it's almost it's impossible to
know where you're headed and that's it's
and I I know I know for me and like
sometimes it's easy to forget about it
because you're just so caught up in life
and and and time and things are running
you got stuff to do but sometime but we
have to remember where we came from to
kind of continue to show compassion to
people who are still there like I my
heart still goes out to the fatherless
and and so does God's right like God
that he's passionate about that so I
think we should be passionate about that
and even more so since we were walking
there in in in a point of our life and
we know how it feels to try to identify
with the males around us because we
don't have that Father Figure connected
and then we look at rap music that's why
rap music is so popular in the urban
community is that there's so many people
without fathers and so they try to they
look at their favorite rapper and they
want to be like him you know what I'm
saying Tupac big yeah man I wanted to be
e man when I was little
exactly you go so that's that's why
as wrong as that music was and the
message behind it man you it's like I
said when I came to the faith man I I
had a box full of cassette tapes back
then threw them all away brother yeah
them all away I'm like why am I
listening to this many people have to do
that because there's a conflict of
interest even though I love the I love
the the talent that all those greats had
yeah and the Legacy that they had and
what they've like you saying the mark
that they left on music in in their life
but we talk about e just him in
particular you showed me some stuff the
other day where this dude had stuff
straight straight prayers to Satan on on
records y yep yep he it's not hidden
it's like it's you in that in that album
um the last uh the last album he made
the the intro yeah the intro is
basically talk about him dying and and
selling his soul
and I guess the me well if he he had
what he had so I guess he knew he was
going to die but he was saying the
Lord's Prayers backwards and that and
that album sold like five million copies
because you know the buzs behind him
dying at the time but PE awful album by
the way love man God Rest his soul and
you know sympathy out to his family
because the man was a Visionary he was
just yeah and the weird dichotomy with
that man which I touched on with you he
loved to help others and he loved to
help children which was the oddest thing
to me you can see on YouTube all his
make a wish stuff and it's weird to
someone who's who wrapped this violent
violent violent music yet had this side
to him he love to help others yeah you
know yeah that is the weird thing you
see like different um Cults and stuff
like that in the community or like the
Freemasons or whatever the case is like
helping people and doing yeah he
definitely had to be somewhere within
that free I don't know if I never heard
of it but that man had a weird uh yeah
even you hear interviews of of people
who worked with them like the doc and
even Dr Dre himself saying that man had
a presence and he was a little we guy
what like about five feet tall but you
knew when he was in the room they would
say you know so yeah so I think that's a
good place to go ahead and end the
interview man dude thanks for coming on
hanging out and we're going to have some
more talks coming up soon I want to get
you and on some Round Table
conversations as well because we do work
very well together we've done that in
the past and had some cool uh you know
test runs and trial episodes we just put
up the uh the Freeman episode as well
and you set that whole thing up and and
you're in on that with me so that was a
fun fun when two people listen to that
fun even with it was fun all around all
three of us would um he Leo you yourself
we had fun and uh Leo Leo really went
deep in that interview man he really had
good Insight I was a little honestly I
was a little offended that I didn't get
to speak much but he was talking to one
of his Heroes and he yeah he asked
really good questions so
when I think I think he's one of the
best guys to ever interview Freeman
personally
yeah when I yeah when I removed myself
like I didn't get to ask Freeman a lot
of questions I got because I listened to
it yesterday great in yeah right me too
I know he did an awesome job
interviewing Freeman he was asking like
out of the box stuff too so looking back
at it now I'm like man homeboy did a
good job yeah everyone was yelling at
each other behind the scenes you know
you know much love to Leo man that's no
no hard feelings yeah that's a good guy
man very good guy all right brother I
will talk with you soon I'm going go
ahead and end the
podcast shalom shalom everybody say
what's up to Alonzo add him on social
media and all that good stuff as well so
he's there um wanted to say just really
quickly um like us on iTunes subscribe
to us on iTunes all that good stuff also
um we're on pretty much all the podcast
stuff now so we're just getting on all
that and so I'm learning how to do that
so subscribe to us we are doing weekly
shows I'm trying to do more than one a
week and I've got some awesome guests
lined up man really cool stuff and so
this next week's going to be really cool
for for me with some cool shows of some
people that I want to talk to and have
been checking out over the years and
they're going to be coming on the show
it's going to be really cool also wanted
to say whenever we talked about um
reading spiritual material and and
watching spiritual television shows and
stuff like that and that opening up this
almost a realm of creativity but
unlocking um spiritual giftings Within
you and being influenced by them one big
uh book that did that for me was the
final quest by Rick Joiner this book
when I was reading that and listening to
their music God was essentially using
that book to teach me spiritual warfare
and that book is a prophetic look at
going through um life as a Believer and
and being able to see in the spirit
realm and and see what the entities are
doing to Believers and to people like
there's man it gets it gets deep it it
shows a paints a picture of um these
entities that are riding the backs of
people like riding them as a vehicle and
flying above them in these different
levels and typologies that God showed
him in a vision and he wrote The Vision
down in a book called The Final Quest
and it talks about some like these
winged demons that are flying over them
and puking on them and them just loving
and it's and it's all symbolic but it's
it shows you man like a really deep
spiritual look so Rick joners the final
quest is a book that you need to check
out and I say that to say that um we are
on audible.com so you can go look down
in the show notes audible do Audi
trial.com
backr you can actually download that
book for free if you sign up through uh
our affiliate link and we get a kickback
on anybody who signs up so you don't
even have to spend money as long as you
sign up we get a kickback on that and
that's really cool cuz we can prom
products like that like we talked about
alchemy and The Alchemist that's another
book that changed my life and it's on
there as well so if you go to Audi
trial.com
truthseeker you can download your first
book for free and the link is in the
description thanks so much for hanging
out with us this was an awesome
interview I love each and every one of
you guys and we will be back with more
of the true seet podcast shalom
shalom your so much higher than mine so
much higher than mine so much deeper
than
mine well that does it for this episode
folks to hear more episodes of the truth
Seeker podcast head over to truth.com
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page at
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