Mental Health and Spiritual Awakening. What You Should Know. | Dave Voelker
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3YY0l7K-m8
Transcript source: YouTube captions

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my friend dave voltner dave welcome to
the show bro how are you
yeah most definitely i'm well man thanks
yeah it's
a treat to be able to support your work
and uh
man the community that you facilitate um
blessed to be a part of and
uh yeah it's a treat to be a part of
what you're doing what you create bro
yeah i think i think it's not so much
about me but about you know the
atmosphere and maybe what i stand for
and just kind of give that that place
for other people
who have similar interests to uh have a
camaraderie even you know what i'm
saying
i get that definitely you know in my
journey
right um as i mean experiencing my my
spiritual awakening or whatever
uh i just google truth seeker
truth seekers right that's what i
googled and then
and then your your profile comes up and
then you know i click on your music and
i'm like wow man that's
awesome uh you know the things that you
rap about
and the things that you talk about too
on your podcast so
definitely related to i feel like
definitely the spirit brought
brought us together and uh definitely
reaping the benefits of that
so appreciate you bro for sure thank you
thank you um
your story man we're gonna be talking
about mental health you're unashamed
you're open
uh you're unashamed about some things
that a lot of people are ashamed of
uh it brings a shame to to talk about
psychosis
delusions and but i think that we have
to have that conversation
when we're talking about spirituality in
the new age community
but don't stop there not just the new
age the christian church the christian
community as well feel like they are
exempt
from that conversation but uh but i've
brushed a lot of shoulders over the
years
i've met a lot of people um who i guess
suffer from
mental illness because they're not a
victor over it and so
i think your story is how you've maybe
suffered and now you're uh
you know i'm saying a victor uh where
you was a victim
and and you've used spirituality to help
you
feel okay in your own body not be at war
with your own mind and all of this stuff
so i'm
i'm encouraged to uh to dive deep into
this with you tonight man because i know
that you're an open book and you love to
talk about this stuff
all right sounds good so so i mean where
do we start man where do you want to
start that you're saying your background
of people can kind of like
you know say know where you're coming
from at least where you started off with
your spirituality spiritual awakening we
could maybe start there
oh well a real real quick intro i i do
want to start in the present
because i feel i feel like that's a big
part of
my mental health and well-being is being
in the present so
i'll start off from the present i'm 46
years old i have a job i'm a sheet metal
worker
i'm married i've i've been married uh
since 2002. i've got a 14 year old son
i've got a 10 year old daughter's turn
11
here on a third and from a previous
relationship i've got a 29 year old
doctor
and the statistics i don't know if you
you are aware of the statistics or your
listeners are aware of the statistics
but for for individuals with bipolar
disorder that's the
that's the diagnosis that i carry um the
divorce rate
is 90 so um
i am i am really uh committed to mental
health and well-being
um i am committed to staying
as present as i can to the people around
me
that i i can love and maintain
relationships
so um that's where i am now and very
thankful
to be there um where my starting
story starts out with with uh carrying a
side
a psychosis diagnosis
is uh when i joined the marine corps
now the the setting when i joined the
marine corps i'll have to
have to go back so i'm 46 my first
daughter
she's 29 now um
but when she was born she was born with
some pretty complicated and complex
um challenges so uh
her mom and i were 17 when she was born
she she had a
assistant or cerebellum cleft lip cleft
palate
she had basically a rare chromosomal
balance
so as i as i was trying to make sense
out of that
being being a new dad at 17 and
and i'll rewind a little bit you know i
was brought up in the church
my parents brought me to church every
sunday
uh we went to a lutheran church
so i did have an awareness of god
um i went through confirmation
i had my own experience
religiously growing up but trying to
make sense of
having having a child with special needs
was was complex in my mind as a 17 year
old
so digesting that and saying okay well
what's going on oh is god punishing me
um because i had premarital sex
so all these concepts i was trying to
make sense of
and um you know some some things
happened you know my my dad
uh he he had his challenges with
alcoholism so i saw that growing up
i saw some some you know some things
take place in my family
that they were traumatic for me um and
all the while going to
a church setting so my mind was trying
to make sense out of
okay how can these things happen if
we're if we're trying to be good people
going to church and all this stuff
right so this was taking place
um so my daughter
two years old uh my dad thankfully he
had
he had stopped drinking and being
abusive
and uh you know we we had a real good
relationship
um when i was 19 and then and then he
passed away
so he was a big part of like trying to
help out with
my first daughter her name's miranda and
uh it was great to just be able to see
him open up and stuff like that but
trying to make sense
out of like okay now me and my dad are
cool you know
he's reaching out to me we're talking
we're connecting and then all of a
sudden he dies
and and i should bring up too that that
you know
her mom and i were trying to make things
work on and off
and in one of the off seasons i was
dating this girl
and i told the girl like i feel like my
dad's
he's gonna die soon and a week later he
died so that was weird
right i had this kind of premonition
and then he died and then i'm thinking
you know i'm trying to make sense out of
it all like am i responsible partially
for him him you know dying
like i didn't understand some of this
some of this stuff that was happening
in me internally as i'm trying to make
sense out of god
and some of these bigger questions
so in an effort to like you know after a
year's gone by
he's passed away and i'm thinking about
my life i'm like all right i gotta get
my stuff together
you know i try and make a final push
with the mom i'm learning like
we're trying to balance miranda's care
between two households
it's tough like what if what if i said
okay
you know let's get married i'll go to
the marine corps
while a fresh start hey let's let's make
a good push for our family so
that's what i did i asked her to marry
me we had this wedding
that was um that was scheduled shortly
after i
i was to graduate boot camp now now
being in boot camp
um it's a three month boot camp and
here here i am i'm trying to do my best
uh so so i was a squad leader um
and so i was on point to to graduate
with with honors and
a pay grade and uh two and a half months
in
all of a sudden like i start i start
seeing things symbolically
and i and i and i start talking in in
like symbolic terms
and and things are starting to like
symbolically merge together and i don't
know what's going on
at that point it's like then then my
superiors are like oh yeah we need to
get it get him a psychedel
um just to see what's going on so
and what what how old was you when this
happened
i was i was 20 yeah 20.
uh so that was that was my first
experience with
with the psychosis part of the mania
which is attached to the diagnosis that
i eventually picked up was
bipolar one and uh that happens to be
the same
diagnosis that kanye west has and um
and a lot of people you know you might
see on the street that um
that are confused it's just uh what we
experience
is is is complex and it's hard
it's hard to make sense out of it
especially the person
going through it so um
you know as i'm experiencing this this
symbolic
view of life as it relates to the marine
corps
i'm looking at all the symbolism that
they're teaching us and how it's
meshed together and you know they give
me these
they give me these first generation
heavy antipsychotic medicine thorazine
and haldol and my my first
diagnosis in the marines then
was schizophrenia form uh
and you know it had had to do with
psychosis so what they tried to do is
just
give me these heavy like brain stopping
medications that really gummed up my
thinking
and yeah i was in i was in the hospital
for almost three weeks and then
i got a medical discharge which was uh
which was a huge letdown right because i
was trying to do this good thing for my
family
i was trying to do uh you know a good
thing for my country
too and you know i i bought in full full
on like yeah i want to i want to do a
good thing here so
when i got my medical discharge that was
a huge blow you know
um they just they they kicked well first
they asked me if i had gone to seeing
any
psychiatrist before that and i said well
my dad had died you know
and i was in i was kind of in a
depressive rut so i went out and saw
you know try to get some help to get get
me out of the rut
and because i had told them that i saw
psychiatric care before i went into the
marine corps
they discharged me with no strings
attached like
kind of like you're on your own just
take your meds and
you know do your best with the county so
that's what i was left
with and uh you know getting back to my
life
i i just wasn't the same you know i
didn't have my personality my
personality was robbed my
my confidence as a human being was was
shot and i could tell like
i wasn't able to be a leader for you
know my
my daughter's mom and uh you know
we just said get the best things like
we'll uh we'll we'll we'll go on break
or you know we'll it's just it's not
working out you know that's that's kind
of what we
we decide and so um
you know doing my best trying to take
these meds
uh my friends are picking me up they're
trying to take me out again
and like have a good time and it's like
it's it's messed up right because i
gotta
you know i'm supposed to be taking these
meds i had this experience i didn't know
and um and so finally you know it was
new year's eve
and uh i was walking in my neighborhood
there was this party
and um and there were lines on the table
you know and i'm like you know hey
whatever line me up uh
so i i did some lines of crank and at
that time it was um
i it was it was a type of crank where
you know you did a line you didn't need
to eat and you were up for a very long
time and so when i did that there was
something in my brain that happened i
felt like i was back
and whatever was in these drugs you know
i was
i was like okay that makes sense these
other drugs don't make sense because
i feel like at least i could be engaged
in my surroundings
uh fully so that started
um everyday drug use for i would say
six months but every day drug use using
crank
you can you can you can wither away real
fast
somebody somebody in chat wants to know
what's crank is that is it like
is it crystal meth like an early form of
crystal meth it's an early form of
crystal meth but from what i
from what i understand now crystal meth
if you take it now you can still eat and
uh
but this was i i guess you could say
biker crank you know like uh i remember
it being big in
in the 90s yeah so this was
um so 95 i got discharged
and so this was 96. so i got
into uh yeah it was new year's eve so it
was 96.
would they would they would they call
that speed and speed yeah
speed yeah yeah so um
so every day drug use uh withered away
i was really sucked up and i checked
myself
into a rehab but before that i met a guy
and he was a christian right i met a guy
i went to high school with
he was a christian and he started
talking about his relationship with
jesus
and i was like okay cool awesome um
but i had some questions you know
because i had turned on
i had turned on the bible radio
and i felt like everybody was talking
about like to me it freaked me out
because here you have these
these people these pastors and and i was
like
you know i i did try and tell my story
to my
my local pastor because i was trying to
make sense out of the whole thing
you know with my daughter and then and
then i was thinking are these people
talking about me behind my back you know
because it seemed like their sermons
related to my life experience
and i was kind of creeped out i was like
i think they're talking
about me behind my back you know i'm
just i'm not going to talk about my
situation
so i talked about my this with my friend
and he's he tried to tell me well that's
the holy spirit he's trying to like
you know engage with you in all the
questions that you have so i'm like okay
that's cool
so um my friends at the time
they they knew i had a drug problem and
um they encouraged me to
to check myself into a rehab so at the
time there was a
uh a teen challenge program
and and that's like a christian-centered
uh a program so you know i went and told
them my story
i checked in and i bought in i cooked
line and sinker i'm like all right this
is my time i'm gonna figure out who i
am in christ i'm gonna get my stuff
together
i'm gonna get right and uh you know
whatever
whatever personalities conflict or
whatever you know me and one of the
counselors got into an argument
and i was like i'm out peace you know 11
days i'm done
and um i felt like all right you know
the dude was being un unreasonable and
it's like
i'm done well
i it was cool because i made some
connections with the church and i got
back in the church
we started with the youth group and uh
so i was going to
my friend's church and he was helping
out with you
so i would go to these services engaging
in worship
feeling the presence of the holy spirit
pretty cool stuff
something happened i was thinking about
i was thinking about like all right
you know maybe i want to contact
miranda's mom again
and one of the ladies in the church
she's like i don't think that's a good
idea
like i'm getting from jesus that that's
not a good idea for you
and then i started thinking hey i don't
like that you know here i am i'm signed
up
like i'm buying into this relationship
with jesus
and and somebody else is telling me
about what i should be experiencing
yeah and i'm like i i just ain't down
with that you know so
in my room i went to my room and i had
my candles going you know
and and i just i just i just said hey if
you're real
like i want to experience you not
through somebody else
but i want to experience you through
through my
experience with you so like you know i
feel i feel the presence right now but
you know
in that in that time that was the first
time when i full on
felt like a big
jolt of god's presence and i and i was
like holy smokes you know then i started
thinking
every i was looking at my my stereo
system and i was seeing god in my stereo
system
like whatever the allegory was i was
seeing so
everything became an allegory
on on how i was seeing god
in whatever i was seeing yeah so now
now do you now okay just before we i
don't want to jump the gun here but
was that something positive or is that a
form of psychosis
do you think it was definitely something
positive yeah and it was a form of
psychosis
because i've been there and probably
still there
so it you know this is something that
that i talked about with people it's
like okay
all right now i've gone to a sermon and
i've seen a pastor
use use an illustration on
how he's illustrating a point on how god
might work
now in that in my life experience
whatever i was seeing
and experiencing through my eye gate was
an allegory
yeah and to me that was it was
mind-blowing i felt like
going back there i felt like i could see
like
christ would see like everything like
christ would
use parables well in my in my situation
it was like i had the ability to use
parables
to experience god in that moment
but also convey god
in that moment to the people around so i
was
buzzing i mean i i felt the energy
i felt like alive but
the people around me didn't know what to
do with that energy
so there was one guy in particular he
had he carried the diagnosis of bipolar
disorder
and he said dave i think you're having i
think you're having a
a bipolar episode so he talked me in
like
i couldn't go to sleep either like i was
i really had a lot of energy
so he talked me into getting a psych
about
and um at this time you know
like poems are coming through me and i'm
not really uh a
poetic person but on this creative side
of me is is starting to flow which i'm
not used to but i'm thinking hey this is
pretty cool stuff you know
so i i this i ended up in the hospital
right i ended up in the hospital
they figured you know because he's
having a psychosis
he's a danger to he could be a danger to
others
he could be a danger to himself and a
danger to others so that that's
that would be a 50 150. and so that's
that's a lot of times you know so that's
what that means 5150
you're a danger to yourself and possibly
others
yeah okay that's a term that people brag
about in in hip hop
5150 you know but they brag about it but
it's like i'm a danger to myself
and others that's not good yeah yeah
so um yeah so i picked up that label
you know and um here i am in christendom
you know with my christian friends and
i'm having this
i'm having this unexplainable experience
which i
you know on the onset is positive but
i don't know how to slow down the energy
i don't know how to define the energy
nobody nobody is coming at me and saying
dave this is what you're experiencing
it's okay it's going to be okay it's not
none of that is happening
what's happening is somebody is saying
you're sick and so that's how i
internalized my experience
from that that point and i you know i
was pissed
when i was i mean you're in a locked
facility and you're
you're being scrutinized by by
professionals and at that time
this was in 96 it's a lot better now but
in 96
you know people were you know had kid
gloves and
and kind of talking to you like a
patient
so you don't feel respected in this
setting you don't feel like
you know your ideas or our views matter
in these settings
and uh you know i was pissed and i felt
i felt largely sold out by my new
community
and um yeah it was tough it was tough to
make sense of
and um you know for a time there i was
like
i tried to put the whole thing uh behind
me like i didn't really talk about it
like like i was like okay it's just
embarrassing it's embarrassing right
or it was anyway right yeah yeah and
then how am i supposed to relate this to
my new christian community like oh
he's he's got a mental health condition
and
and like like i'm trying my hardest you
know to buy into what they're
they're telling me about about jesus and
how to
how to live a christian life i'm i'm
trying my hardest so
you know i felt like i felt like here
again you know i'm a failure
you know what gosh you know i'm i'm not
i'm not doing right you know like uh
maybe maybe god's punishing me i don't
know like all these
all these ideas are are are floating
around in my head i'm trying to make
sense on
yeah and uh you know that's what it's
what i met my wife
uh my wife and i uh we became friends we
were part of the same
circle she she went to the same youth
group
and um so we were we were older than the
youth and by this time
you know um coming out this this
group of friends kind of rallied behind
me and they were like you know we're
here for you dave some of them came and
visited me while i was in the hospital
which was really cool um so
so as i tried to make sense out of it i
was like okay i got an
illness these people are here for me i'm
thankful
that's how that's how i internalized it
afterwards
so so what did you do to
again i don't know if i missed it but
what did you do to end up in the
hospital was it something
extreme for them to say that you know to
have you
committed like what like what happened
that time there was nothing really
extreme i i didn't i didn't do anything
it was just
like the way you were talking you were
like weirding people out and they kind
of
went to speak to somebody yeah yeah yeah
because
everything i was saying it was like it
had an
allegorical meaning to me and i would
try to explain
things to them and as i was explaining
it to them
i would use an allegory so it was like
it was like this
huge world of symbolism that um
i got kind of lost in you know is now is
is that real is that is that reality
a spiritual reality that is real that
was just like the floodgates were open
to you and here you are
to be a baby christian trying to
articulate these deep mysteries that
you're
privy to to people and it just didn't
work out you didn't know how to turn it
off and on
because we talked about that happening
this is like a spiritual awakening for
you at the same time and it kind of the
lines are blurred
so is that part of spiritual awakening
because a lot of what you're saying i've
experienced and and still experienced
with
our relationship with the creator it's
in our head it's it's levels of
consciousness
and how close we are and how you know
you talk about trials and tribulations
and allegories and what does this mean
to you
and reading and seeing yourself in the
text you know
yeah all of that kind of stuff so that's
only that's going
only going on in our heads you know
right
so for me you know i do feel like it was
reality
and i i was having a deeply spiritual
meaningful experience that not a lot of
people
around me could relate to the only
person that could relate to me
was taking medicine for bipolar disorder
so that's how he internalized
his experience as well and he must have
gone through something very similar
you know later on i find out he he's
part of the reformed theology
so so then i'm thinking that's got to be
rough
to be reformed theology and trying to
make sense of that
you have to really just be into the
mental disorder there's there could be
like no spiritual
spirituality linked to the reform stuff
which is strange
you know yeah so they discounted a lot
of the uh the spiritual giftings and
stuff like that and that's something
that i gravitated
toward as what you know deeper into my
christian walk i started to you know
really
crave and and come to appreciate the
presence of the holy spirit as i'm
worshiping
for sure and and so to me you know it
became
like a drug for me like a replacement
me too um yeah it's like it's like i i
did have
my euphoria yeah definitely the euphoria
and and that's something something later
on that i that i look at and i'm like
okay well
maybe to me maybe that was was a little
bit of a replacement from the
reality that i wanted to dodge and get
away from
like i like it felt so good but i don't
know if i knew how to
bring that experience back and relate it
to my real life and i think that does
that does come with with a little bit of
maturity you know
along along down the lines because you
know you could talk about the highs and
lows of
spirituality too and just you know
chasing the mountaintop experiences
and and not wanting to go back to
reality yeah and that
that's its own problem that's i mean
think that's why we're having this
conversation
you know and why it's relevant for today
for many reasons for people who
um you know are you know may you know be
diagnosed bipolar um
but they're you know uh spiritual
and then again maybe these are one and
the same
that's what i wanted to ask you like
what do you feel because
people who are having a spiritual
awakening or kundalini awakening
you know i don't have to say you say
holy spirit awakening but are having
voices speak to them who are
you know seeing signs and numbers and
the text is talking about them
and it's like the truman show it really
is yes and it can give birth to
delusions and psychosis and mania just
like you said
and and i'm real big on that because the
church likes to point fingers at
kundalini can open up doors that people
can't close listen the holy spirit can
too
and i think that and i have a study that
maybe mean you can go in together on
this but
like when you put your hand to the plow
you're not supposed to look back like
when you when you open that door
to this relationship with the holy
spirit if you look back
you're gonna go mad so it's like like
any you know and there's so many
scriptures that that
you know talk about that so it's not
just a kundalini
you know experience that's causing this
because you know
i'm sure you believe like me that's it's
the same thing or very
similar that's a static euphoric
experience with
you know the nature of life itself god
manifested through his presence right
um so right what about people who are
having
kundalini awakenings and they're just
like
i've talked about it i'm trying to make
sense of it on my podcast
um i get crazy messages i you know that
even blow me away
uh i try to handle handle it with grace
if i can but some of it blows my mind i
mean we're talking past lives we're
talking
i'm an alien from krypton come sent with
a message
like we're talking far out stuff i mean
you even
i don't know if you you're building up
to some of the other deeper stuff that
happened with you
but it can be really really scary the
stuff you've been describing seems kind
of hard but
did it get a lot darker for you or what
with your spiritual awakening and
going really deep and just doing doing
some extreme stuff
okay so as i mean
i as as it progressed and i as i became
more open to
uh the energy in and of itself um
because it felt so good and my my
friends and family didn't know what to
do with me
i felt like the best thing to do was
remove myself
from the setting because it was causing
them so much pain
but as i went out on my own and open
open myself up to these energies with no
direction
then i i got into some trouble i got
into some trouble with the law
that's my story
opening up to energies unaware yeah yeah
but you know so here
the bipolar one diagnosis um in the dsm
for the diagnostic
the diagnostic book i think they're up
to dsm five or six now
um but part of the criteria for
having a manic episode is you will have
people that think that they are the
second coming of christ
you have people that they think that
they are a king
you you have people that think that they
need to run for president
yeah messiah type figures so
the way i internalize this now i i never
like
i'm trying to do the right thing you get
now you mentioned that
can we interject they feel like they are
reincarnated as
a god i am ra that has come back or i
am king david yeah same you can just
interject whatever you want really
yeah it totally makes sense yeah because
from what i'm experiencing
the the more the more i try to
understand
what i'm experiencing in these psychosis
is
and and as i i learn about kanye west
is like you you engage
you might be engaging the full
consciousness
like the i am presence of the creator
and and to me that's that's like
mind-blowing right
so in the grandiosity of things my mind
is going
it's going very fast and i'm learning
about ways of like
okay well i've got this business plan
i've got this business plan i've got
this business plan
so there are all these creative ways on
how i can
enhance my life uh you know get rich
or whatever you know you know i and i
know why you listen to the podcast
i talk about this stuff all the time
and somebody says kanye west just like i
mean kanye has all these ideas as well
genius you know yeah yeah so i mean
my heart goes out to him because here we
are we're just human beings
and we're trying to understand the
energies that we're connecting to
and then and then the people that want
to help us in the med
the mental health industry they see us
suffering
and they want it to stop and so they
give us medicine
to slow down our mind and bring us back
to reality
now that's the way they are trained to
help us
thus far in the west thankfully there
there are some progressive ideas
in in helping individuals out like
myself
and ultimately i go back to kundalini
awakening
um i mean it would would have been a lot
better and easier
for me if i had a yogi or or somebody
who
was um gifted in engaging these
energies that could kind of walk me
through and say hey what you're
experiencing
is is gonna subside and a lot of a lot
of what i
i believe i was experiencing was working
out some of the traumas
that were locked up inside of me before
i started my journey
yeah so you know as i'm as i'm trying to
make sense out of life
god my existence
all these big ideas are coming up and
you know these things are work i'm
working out in my
head like uh you know
i mean i can't come back to i come back
to this idea that god is good
that people are good that creation is
good i mean these are
these are foundational ideas that i have
now that keep me
hopeful and out of
the ideas of wanting to commit suicide
because that that
goes along with the manic depressive
diagnosis or bipolar disorder uh
i know i know you just kind of breeze
through it and you know don't
you know if you have a change of heart
you don't want to talk about it but can
you talk about like
where you where it got really bad and
when you ended up in the hospital like
what what
was the stuff that that you did and
called out in public and stuff like that
like what
some of the stuff that went not
undiagnosed because you were diagnosed
but
like not keeping yourself in check or
having your spiritual regimen that you
have now
what what some of this led you to like
the most grandiose far out stuff that
you've talked about
which i've had a friend who you know
thought he was jesus christ's second
coming
and this guy went out and uh and went
and test drove a
a porsche a white porsche and he had and
this joke was riding around the city
with a sword
thinking that he was the second come
coming of christ dr uh
riding the white horse of revelation he
goes to the
the church and and talks to the pastor
and tells the pastor this yes i'm the
second coming of christ and
the people at the car dealership honored
me and seen my anointing and gave me
this car
which they didn't you know it was just
this weird scenario is playing in his
head
and um you know and everything ended up
coming to a head after a while a couple
times with this guy
and you know he was supposed to be on
medication and stuff like that
some of the stuff that that happened to
you that that was similar like that too
okay so you you this this psychosis is
is is uh is is is interesting
because a lot of times i'll go into the
hospital and
and there there'll be people in the
hospital with
very similar experiences
and and sometimes i i wonder why aren't
they documenting these experiences
as they're happening it's almost like
the spiritual world
is is is letting these things happen
through individuals to convey i feel
like a bigger message
so one of the things that did happen i
had i had a um
i had a uh white mustang convertible
it's a white horse right so white
mustang convertible
and uh you know i was in the city at the
time and i saw this
chrome uh like like a flashing piece off
a car
that i'm like oh that's a sword you know
here because you did the same thing that
this
guy did exactly exactly so
so part of i mean so part of
what i was doing i was i was gay
engaging
parts of the bible in a literal
interpretation
and then and then that that got him
confused
with my experience in engaging
the spirit world the spirit
however it manifested in my body you
know i felt like okay
well i guess i guess you know christ is
coming
in me through me and it it looks like
i've
talked you know i've talked to a lot of
people just to open myself up in
in like even when i was in church a lot
of guys
and a lot of them would tell me i think
i might be the antichrist
like they would they would say that
they've thought about that i think i
might be the antichrist from revelation
and i'm like no you're not dude you're
not it's okay you're not the antichrist
bro
and i have to like talk them out of it
you know and it's just
weird kind of psychosis is how far do
you play into
that thought you know that you
embrace your identity as the antichrist
or something yeah you know
well with the literal interpretation a
little literal interpretation of that
passage per se there that character
needs to be fulfilled right so
if you might as well be me yeah like
if you're struggling with maybe you're
struggling with lust
maybe you're struggling with gosh man i
feel like i'm so selfish and i can't
you know whatever the hang up may be
whatever the pastor's
you know talking about that that is that
is this deep
sinful um part of your life that you
feel like is being exposed that you
cannot have any victory over
and and then all of a sudden you
associate well gosh you know i've been
struggling in this area for so long
well maybe i just am like i'm not
victorious you know
then all of a sudden you start to assume
this
literal interpretation which which you
know i feel like i feel like is
dangerous
very dangerous for me i i mean i don't
i don't literally interpret the bible
anymore i
that to me i feel like that's part of my
well-being and mental health
that i don't that i'm not
that leads us to this trump thing and
how
it's showing how delusional either
either they've always been or they're
becoming
a lot of the the christian church here
in america who believes that
uh god sent trump here there was a a a
a post i read today that this guy said
that
and that trump was the president in
heaven
that god told them that trump was the
president in heaven
and joe biden was not the legal
uh presiding president in the u.s and so
as it is in heaven as trump is still on
the throne they're going to pray him
back in the office and
just weird it's delusional it's not real
it's not real at all and and there's all
kinds of weird stuff that came out with
this trump thing
and with q anon and having these weird
you know whispers in your ear of what's
going on behind
and it's i don't know can people become
delusional or is it something you're
born with you were born
bipolar you you crossed the bear or are
people
becoming believing their own delusions
and it's
seeping into their reality it's seeping
into their facebook post
it's seeping into the uh you know water
cooler conversations at work and they
begin to believe these
scenarios that aren't real or is it real
to them
you know they're both of those scenarios
well uh some some of the things that
i've gravitated to
along my mental health journey is uh dr
omoto's water experiment
so i love dr omoto's water experiment
and what he does is he speaks words of
life
over this this water droplet and then he
speaks words of death
over this other water droplet and so
the words of life water droplet
beautiful like snowflake
geometric powder yeah like that yeah
yeah yeah and then over the the droplet
of hate
you have this very distorted picture
under the microscope
um if your listeners haven't haven't
looked it up i highly recommend it
yeah and i recommend doing it too
yeah yeah they have a rice experiment
that you can do
and it you know the hatred bowl of rice
it gets moldy or whatever
so i look at this i look at this as my
relationship
to how i interpret god so
if you have this old testament punitive
god like a punishing god type figure
um and that's that's your idea of god
like okay
man i'm looking forward to to god coming
and punishing the sinners and
you know coming back and uh
you know in glory and wiping out all of
wickedness like if that's your idea of
god
then then in my in my
opinion or experience you you're
you gravitate toward these these um
ideas about futuristic events
and you know you have the whole us
versus them mentality yeah
which which i i don't think is good for
my
mental health because
it well in my in my spiritual
interpretation
i feel like god is trying to help us
become more god-like
in our spiritual experiences through
meditation
and how we engage life
today or last night said god became man
obviously through christ god became man
so that man can then become god
i like it i like it i like it
now i've i've taken a different
interpretation of
christ's coming as it relates to my
mental health and well-being as well
would that be your spiritual awakening
the coming of the christ anointing and
the illumination or
i i do i i think so i mean i think it's
progressive progressed along the years
but
the way i interpreted christ before
there was an angry god
that couldn't stand the sight of sin and
so
christ needed to come in my stead and
make me okay
enough to be in in god's presence
yeah so and and you have to you have to
know that when i believe in something i
believe it all the way right
so if these are my core beliefs about
myself and my kids
like okay you're sinful you're bad
and you need something to make you good
then to me i i just have a problem
like that it it it's to me it doesn't
make sense
it just it just doesn't make sense so i
interpreted
there's there's a uh i found that the
doctrine of
original sin came into christianity
at a very later point in in
in early church there's a doctrine of
original blessing
which i looked into okay which yeah
instead
yeah kate fairchild she's been i mean
she's been a huge
help and benefit in helping me reframe
the way i interpret christ
and his impact on myself and others
so now i interpret christ to come and
he's trying to restore our divinity
he's trying to help us walk into our
divinity
and then you know think versus like um
greater things uh you will do
like that verse it makes sense like okay
you know believers are gonna do things
greater than
than him okay well i don't see how i
could do
anything greater than christ um like
if i'm supposed to be this sinful being
like that's all i'm thinking about oh
i'm a sinner on the center of the center
so as i progressed in my christianity i
changed
my my uh self-talk from i'm a sinner
to i am victorious i am one with god
through christ and that christ is not
something weird where i have to
drive around you know a white car with
with a sword
it's it's normal it's he's
helping me the spirit the great spirit
is helping me
walk in my divinity so i can be a better
better person on on the earth i can be
more compassionate
i can i can
be a part of community in a way where i
don't look at people
as sinners like different than me
but i can look at them as fellow human
beings
discovering their divinity and and
that's i mean that's how i choose
that's how i choose to express my my
my spirituality now and and i feel like
that
keeps me grounded and it helps provide
some framework
for some of the problematic um
things that happen throughout
christianity and the energies that
followed
um the inquisition
and the witch hunts and
some of the problematic things where
they tried to force
an idea a doctrine on a people
and and did some very very bad things
yeah
so i mean that's how you're
internalizing you know the message
of christ the bible and things like that
so um
spirituality i know you've kind you've
kind of turned me on to it i mean i've
always knew about it over the years and
studied a little bit here and there but
i haven't really practiced it
was qigong and you were telling me that
listen to daily practice
of qigong you know i'm into breath work
and things like that breath work it's
pretty aggressive at least i like to
you know to kind of get high off your
breath kind of thing the really
aggressive stuff
but the qigong is more gentle there's
some you know touching the
energy uh meridians in the in the body
to kind of wake yourself up and allow
that cheetah to flow
freely throughout your body kind of
balancing your energy right if you have
like this miss
uh your your your energy is unbalanced
or whatever maybe you're
you're more egoic maybe you're more
prideful or you're more
into your sexual energy whatever it may
be but it's about balancing the energy
the chakras would be kind of
very similar as well um but you told me
about you know qigong and how much it's
done for you and you sent me some videos
and and i did it and uh
and i found it to to be really setting
for a day to do it early on but uh
but you really championed qigong as far
as like
dad and breathwork and wim hof and stuff
like that your own
inner divinity connecting with god
through
these practices that help you like walk
that narrow path of sanity
um not sanity maybe going back and forth
like i really feel like there's a a
you know a middle passage of
you know the the quote from um uh what
is it the thing is
campbell uh joseph campbell yeah is that
and somebody's asking about
schizophrenia here but joseph campbell
says that
the schizophrenic drowns
in the same water that the mystic swims
with the light
the mystical the shaman if you will one
who is able to kind of i love it
navigate through those realms and come
back you know
and not get lost in that delusion
in that land of make-believe if you will
right
so so coming back to the schizophrenia i
think i think it's really good
to talk about fear and faith so if
if you if you go into your experience
and and you're engaging the spiritual
world
or the all creator with this idea of a
punishing
a punishing god man that could be a
horrifying experience
you know if you go into that experience
thinking that's what god is like man
that could be a bad trip
you know that could be that could be a
really
like your psyche what we i mean that's
what i wanted to do
do you think it works different for
different people though like as you've
kind of learned yourself and like hey i
can't that doesn't gel with me other
people
it keeps their ass in check you know
that if i get offline god is going to
strike me with a lightning bolt and
listen it keeps them on the straight
and narrow for you it was condemnation
it was
fear it was judgment it was like i need
to feel alive well let me try these
other things
outside of god right you know what i'm
saying so do you think that it's like
different strokes for different folks as
well just to kind of know yourself
yeah well obviously it works for some
people you know
so i could look back on my life and i
could i could take the fear approach of
god
and i could i could look back and say
okay that did keep me out of a lot of
problematic
i get me out of jail it kept me you know
kept me
uh kept me out of a lot of uh bad bad
things
but so if i take that approach if i take
that approach with my kids
in parenting and and just be like hey
you gotta fear me
you gotta fear the consequences instead
of instead of hey man
i want to get to know what you like you
know let's partner
let's partner in life you know uh i want
to see what you're into
something and then but some but some
people and and i think it's unhealthy
but they rule their households that way
with the belt yeah
you know it's definitely unhealthy
there's a lot of trauma that comes with
it and i think that's what you're
dealing with you
i used it for the first time the other
day dealing with religious
trauma you know um that people deal with
yeah so so those early years
if your parents are going to church and
they're beating you with a belt
and you realize okay that's the god they
believe in
that's what god's like and then and then
you
you i to me i feel like you put yourself
more at risk on taking on those
fear-based uh
big concepts of god which could
turn into paranoia you talk about
pro-noya
like internalize internalizing the word
and saying god is for me
my the people around me are for me
because
i'm i'm a believer in god well if you
have this idea that god is a punishing
god
and waiting like if you're out of line
i'm going to hit you with the belt like
that's what you grew up that's what you
learned
in in your younger years and yeah you
associate that
with god those god concepts that could
i i really do think that could be some
problematic thinking patterns
for people and and create some trauma a
lot of us have to kind of work through
that because
we bring that you know relationship with
our parents
even if it was one parent you kind of
bring that in
to your your uh relationship with god
and and uh
you know if your mom was again if they
ruled you with the rod then
then you know subconsciously god is
ruling you with the rod if they're
waiting to slap you when you mess up and
when you drop the ball you know and
they're yelling at you then
even even in this grace thing a graceful
god god is still yelling at you and you
kind of got to work through that
you know a lot of people do yeah yeah
yeah so yeah i you know i'm passionate
about
getting people to meditate you know i
feel like
i i i have found so many good things
just meditating
and and spending time in god's presence
that's why i'm big in the whim off
i feel like all right with the breath
holds you got that subtle music in the
background
i'm spending time with the giver of life
right
and and i feel like so many cool things
happen
when i am in the presence of god
on my own and it's like you invite
you invite this presence to speak to you
right and
and i and i i don't feel like i need to
tell anybody
else what
god is or who god is
i feel like i want i want
i want to tell you a way you can
experience
god for yourself and in doing so
man it's going to look similar you know
you're going to have similar ideas i'm
going to have similar ideas
they're gonna look they're gonna look
similar and that's the cool thing about
it i mean
i feel you know there are some groups
that i connect with
that that um you know one is one
is a religious trauma recovery group on
facebook and there's some teachers there
and i could be pondering an idea or some
concepts
and then all of a sudden they they teach
on well here we are we're dialed into
the same frequency
you know um and and i and i miss that i
missed that aspect of church
of like home meetings you know my wife
and i we used to do this
before we had kids we have people come
over we talk about our life we pray
about our life
and then and then somebody get a word of
knowledge you know
you know it's like the spiritual gifts
happen i'm i'm trying to recreate that
online man
i know it's a slow process we're
stepping into it
but for sure because i'm with you 100
you know i got born again at a home
meeting and
we thrived that i think that's where the
you know the true
church kind of was you know was they met
from house to house and small
relational and people brought different
things to the table
and it was seeing god in their beauty
but um yeah i'm with that for sure
it's good stuff you talk about the
qigong too so the chi gong
and i feel like um you know a lot of a
lot of the
the uh the the new ideas on how we can
engage the healing field
uh with our imagination so these new
ideas as were
as we're engaging the healing field
putting the healing out to whoever we're
thinking about whether it be
reiki or self-healing it's like you can
engage
the healing field and engage the energy
around your body
and i'm not saying i'm a master at it
i'm just a novice
but for me having the ability to look
into those
practices is free like before
before you know go going
going to like religious community they
would they would say stay away from
those things
yeah and and now i feel like
there's a wealth of of information and
knowledge and
and beauty in those practices
that it's cool that i can engage them
without fear
and um you know interesting that we do
that i don't know many
i mean i know that's why people you know
i know that's why what we've built here
is just kind of resonated because i am
you know christ-centric right but like
you know we
if it's good man i want it i want in on
it like if there's buddhists who are
like
engaging god in a good way or they're
doing some type of practice that is good
whether it's helping people listen
that's how we're going to evolve as a
people even past your religion that's
how your religion
is gonna evolve like if you just focus
on the good stuff
and and just learn from others
but it's it's really cool to see um
to see what what we have going on and
and i appreciate
uh you know our thursday nights and and
get to see everybody on zoom and
people worshiping people meditating and
then you doing the breath work and
qigong without even being guided you
kind of know your own stuff and you're
just having your own
uh connection with god and just focusing
on that for a little bit
and you know and i've been talking about
this a lot lately is just seeing god in
the diversity
of all of it you know and to see him you
know see christ in it you know in the
diversity of
and i think he is and i think that i'm
not the only one i think that billy
graham you know i keep saying his name
when it comes to that because people
need to
take take some lessons from the late
billy graham about him
you know seeing that that god has a
people for his namesake
scattered throughout the whole earth and
people who don't even know the name of
jesus
who are part of what he would call the
body of christ
you know and so people who are doing
good works people who love god people
who are in touch with
their spirituality to uh you know to to
connect with god
and just because they do it a little bit
different like listen if it's working
it's working
and there's no sin against that
there's no fault in that and it's
working and i want to know what's
working like what's helping you
to hold your stuff together
because i know people who get to the
breaking point and they can't do it they
can't do it
and i want to know listen like you learn
eventually right
it's after you know what i'm saying
repetition after you keep doing it keep
doing it and i've talked to you about
being able to feel when you're
having an episode and then you can kind
of
but but but i noticed you you also said
that it could be a little deceptive
like it just kind of lulls you into and
you don't realize that you've
you've crossed that line so for some
people it's hard to
to you know get you know i'm saying
familiarize with what it feels like when
i'm having an episode or when i'm
getting caught
in a delusion and i think many people
are there but
i think once you've had a lot you kind
of know like hold on i need to
i'm i'm kind of drifting a little bit i
need to for me it's getting back on my
spiritual practice it's making sure that
my connection with god
is is on point you know that um i'm
doing my own spiritual work
and and all of that comes into play and
um
what would you say to that being able to
feel something like that coming on are
you able to catch yourself
i mean you're doing better it's been
longer and longer and longer since you
had some kind of crazy manic episode
you know you're able to kind of balance
the energy you know which is huge and
people need to learn how to do that so
so what about you like how are you you
know it's being able to stay
in this state of bliss in the state
where the world is trying to
give you solutions and answers and and
take your piece from you and
rock you which i think can cause people
to go
manic you know what i'm saying well yeah
i think i think a big part of it
is is just knowing knowing again that i
have a life experience that might be
different than others
and i pick up this label of bipolar
disorder or for some it might be
schizophrenia
now that doesn't make me uh less than
or um you know problematic
it just means i have another set of
circumstances to manage
that not a lot of other people do and
i could have a life experience that
might be similar to a shamanic path that
that we hardly have any information
about
in in the west in the medical west
so i i don't judge my experience anymore
i don't judge that of somebody who might
be struggling with schizophrenia because
it's got to be so confusing for them
to try and make sense out of what
they're experiencing
one thing that i do is i that i believe
is highly
highly effective is i connect with
i connect with a group there's a couple
of groups that i connect with there's
dbsa that's depression and bipolar
support alliance
i connect with them through zoom and
this is a
non-judgmental community where we can
give each other support
compassion encouragement and we can talk
about some of these experiences that
we're trying to make sense out of which
can be very confusing
uh the other is nami and that's a
national
uh alliance mental
mental international something like that
but anyways they they provide groups
that you can
people with mental health challenges can
be a part of
they also have friends and family so if
you're a friend
or a family member with somebody who
might be given a diagnosis
of you know bipolar disorder
schizophrenia borderline personality
you can connect with groups as a friend
and a family member
and you can connect with others that are
that are trying to find ways that they
can support this person who's having a
hard time dealing with life in reality
and i think these are tremendous
resources for me
uh like the peer support has been huge
because largely you feel like you're
being given a death sentence and you
have to
you have to deal with it all on your own
yeah now
getting rid of that stigma is huge being
able to connect with others
is huge and i i found a psychiatrist
that i work with that knows me i am
working on titrating off all medication
as i learn skills that keep me grounded
there's other people in my group as well
that are that are not taking medication
that are still part of the group
just you know learning to manage the
energies yeah i mean
people are mixing the two and um
and you know i'm saying maybe rightfully
so like
how like what how or
how should you or even if you should
mention to somebody that they may be
suffering from
psychosis you know i believe that
there's a lot of people i mean a lot
in for sure for sure for sure
even you know people we look up to who
have given platforms you know
and it's hard to it's hard to kind of
speak against it because we know that
like ancient culture
like they honored their you know they're
schizophrenics and stuff were their
prophets man
yeah were there people who just locked
themselves in a cave and talked to
themselves and
divine with spirits and stuff and they
came back with this crazy information
but
you know what i'm saying so to like
demonize that we want to kind of
champion
that in a sense like there we need to
bring some of that back i feel
um you know but then you know i have
these conversations with people who
reach out to me in my inbox and
and there's there's varying degrees of
it i don't want to be guilty
and i'm just my personal fear you know i
don't want to be guilty of of
entertaining
delusions or encouraging them
uh you know and i believe a lot of
people
like trust me the messages i get and i
hate saying that because i'm reading
some of the comments and people they
automatically think i'm assuming
them i i usually tell you these
situations like just so you know that
i'm not talking about you
like you know what i'm saying people
thinking that they're my mom from a past
life who
has come to give me guidance and tell me
what to do and wants to reconnect with
me in this life
uh someone who thinks that they're
supposed to be my wife from
another planet in their reincarnated god
come back to
reconnect with me like i'm talking about
that kind of like dangerous
kind of stuff too uh people think that
they're reincarnated beings from
you know zeta reticuli you know that one
lady i had that we kind of make
mention of she believes she's in a
romantic relationship with a being from
the the uh um orion council of light or
arcturian i don't know one of them and i
feel like that's unhealthy i feel like
uh
i feel like it's delusions but then
again two things come up
like if it's helping them to cope if
they've created that reality
to help them cope with some of the
traumas and hard things in life listen
they're not hurting anybody listen more
power to them uh maybe when it tries to
invade
on other people's free will and they try
to bleed that narrative over into others
listen
angry god is coming back to judge you
you need to repent you got to come to
our church all right angry
listen it's in there too it's in there
too um
how do we handle that do we not say
anything do we
lead them into breath that's what i lead
them into breath work lead them into the
bliss and the beauty and the presence of
god that works for me
it will work for you you know maybe you
need something more you need a counselor
you need to talk to somebody
like where's the you know the
balance where's the boundary that we
don't get to
to be judged like that you're
entertaining the stuff and true seeker
you're taking their money
like you're just like they're supporting
you and these are delusional people
and you're just like yes tell me about
the the beings from the planet yeah
tell me who you were i don't get down on
that stuff
so i'm i don't do that but i don't want
to be guilty of of entertaining
you knows this stuff as well which a lot
of people do there's people who come to
me and say yeah i
had a session with so and so and they
told me i'm i'm reincarnated my
grandmother is from
you know arcturian and her grandmother's
from the pleiades and i'm here to
save the earth and like and this is like
hold on you're like
there's some people who are like you
know pouring fuel on that fire of those
delusions i don't want to be that person
i want to talk about it i want to
discuss it i really believe in
spirituality
i believe that balance i believe in
balancing the energy i believe in
making sense of your delusion i believe
in that your spirituality
should have real world real world impact
that it's practical to just be a good
person but um
yeah give me some some info on that man
what would you if you had my platform
and these people come to you because
what if they're telling the truth
what if their grandmother is from zeta
reticuli and here we are making
their until it's not it's it is their
truth
and it's helpful for them until it's not
so
i mean i would say to them here we are
we're engaging
we're engaging energies we're engaging a
spiritual realm
that we're trying to figure out and at
times it could be confusing
and just just give
give place to that hold space for that
we're engaging energies
that we don't know everything about okay
and
here you might think that you are my
grandmother
or you are my wife from another
uh realm or reality yeah but
ultimately i mean i come back to this i
come back to
i come back to aligning with christ
now you're going to talk about christ
and you're going to
emit christ and you're going to attract
christ's followers
so this this energy that you're emitting
you're gonna you're gonna attract people
that are seeking that same
energy right that's that's the that's
the light of christ
and i feel like i feel like we're all
part of that body
as we engage it it starts to look
similar and it starts to look attractive
um but i i come back to
okay i'm attracted to christ there's
something
there's something in in you that's
attractive to me
not not sexually but hey we can make
money
i gotta you know i gotta lighten up go
ahead yeah
someone just said that you're handsome
in chat though shout out
what's up she keep going i'm sorry
i'm joking so uh yeah so i mean i feel
like
that can be confused right that's my
partner oh that's my
that's my soulmate well i'm probably not
your soul mate what you might be seeing
in me is
could be it could be christ maybe
yeah i get that a whole bunch for sure
yeah
so so you you have a platform and you're
you're engaging the spirit and you're
admitting the spirit
and you're you're attractive to a big
community
so i i get it why they would be
attracted to you
yeah and um but it's it's
it's what's in you that's attractive you
know that's what i would come to yeah
yeah i mean i know i used to hear this
in in church and youth group and stuff
it's like
they used to say they're not attracted
to you they're attracted to the christ
in you you know the light that is within
you and then other people
you know you know want to be with the
spiritual leader or whatever whatever
it is from from that sense but um
but but not even like attracted you know
to me or or feel like they
you know want to be a part of what we're
doing or something but again like
you know if it's detrimental does it
become detrimental
but i think that in the same time like
if we really hold a magnifying glass up
to it like
all of our all of our realities and and
are different anyway like of what we
really think is going on
um of what we who we think rules the
planet the government
who donald trump is who jesus is we have
these different
none of them probably match up at all
probably everybody in the world has a
different
view that they've created because of
movies that they've watched because of
things their parents told them that they
still believe in santa claus
and you know what i'm saying and all of
these different myths and
and things that aren't real but to them
they are um so
to judge one of them as as more weird
or you know what i'm saying as someone
who thinks that they're from
you know the zeta reticuli versus
someone who feels like jesus
is speaking to them in the middle of the
night and telling them
things about their destiny they seem a
little bit more
um i guess scriptural if you will but
they're still
far out you know what i'm saying to so
to kind of judge someone's um
um delusions over the next
you know or you know reality or false
reality that they've created
i believe and i know you do too that you
know what we believe
shows itself to us and if you really uh
you know if you believe in
those beings from zeta reticuli i think
that they can like literally
manifest here into our reality because
you believe in them
and if you believe that you are to be
whatever it is
then you birth it into reality and you
mentioned having all of these
you know ideas and creativity and things
and
and paths that you can follow out and
you know i talk about this too like
um all of them would work you can be a
great poet dave give your life to poetry
you've got some really awesome poem
if you followed that out it would work
it is a path that exists
it is the timeline um if you wanted to
be a spiritual healer we've discussed
that if you wanted to be a great blogger
like all of this stuff you want to be a
good father be present for your family
like all of these exist and you can
follow each one of them out and bring it
into
your existence um so to judge someone's
psychosis um i think we're splitting
hairs
you know with a lot of this you know
especially if it's not hurting anybody
and that's what i want to know like
what's working for you how are you
holding it together
and if it is i am from zeta reticuli
and i know who i am and i know my
ancestors and i i commune with them when
i go to sleep
and if that's like helping you to be a
better person hey i'm for it man
you know what i'm saying i don't even
know if you
it's really crazy it's far out but you
have to be able to
to know that it's crazy even like a
christian like you got to be no
you have to know that listen this stuff
you're talking about is crazy you
believe these stories you believe that
jonah was swallowed whole for three days
and lived in a belly of a well and was
spit out and
he didn't die you believe that well he
had oxygen he had food down there
like all these weird grandiose stories
that we believe were literal
you gotta understand how crazy you sound
to believe this it is faith it is
to believe in the belief in the unknown
but it's helping you
become a better person it's helping you
hold your stuff together you know
so yeah who are we the judge man because
again who what if they're right like
like what if jonah was did live in the
belly of the world for three days
like i don't know i wasn't there yeah i
don't know that your grandmother from
arcturius is visiting you every third
saturday she could be i don't know i'm
not there
so we have to you know we have to be
open for that too i think
you know you know probably man but it
makes
you know it's these things go through my
head dude i'm trying to get it out yeah
no that's good i love it i love it um i
think we could all come back to
uh you know jesus he he he taught that
the kingdom of heaven was at hand
so um and he taught that the kingdom of
heaven
from was from within and that was
problematic to the religious leaders at
the time
because it was external it was in the
cathedrals and
what they can build and see yeah yeah so
as long as we have this external god
that we're looking toward
um in the future to come and save us
to me that's problematic um because
because here it it gives me a passive
approach to my life
like okay now i just sit and wait for
this future event
of heaven that i can partake in in a
future
no to me that doesn't make sense what
makes sense to me is i
i i engage heaven in my meditation
i engage heaven in spiritual
conversations where the spirit is
flowing through me
so i i feel like okay that's that's
something tangible
that's an experience that i can that i
can
live in here and now and and know that
some really cool things are being done
and i can i can engage with that now now
if
they're getting back to the fear and the
faith part like if i have a fear
of future events that are playing out
politically
or you know with the leadership of my
country and
and um i've got these scenarios that are
wandering around in my head
um then yeah that takes me out of my
present reality
and for me that's that's that's part of
what keeps me grounded is staying in my
present reality
so is that just to keep it is that to
keep your spirituality simple
it is it keeps it simple for me is that
i can stay present
to my dogs i can stay present to my kids
i can stay present to my wife
i can stay present to my bills i can
stay present to my work environment
the people at my work i can be present
with i can have real conversations
um you know i can talk sports it doesn't
have to be
all sports you know i could talk about
the cool things that the sports
people are doing to have you know uh
impact on their community
so things to me like as it relates
to real life here and now like i'm not a
jew i'm not a gentile i'm not an
israelite i'm a californian
that's that's how i think like i'm not a
nocturian
i'm a human being like okay that's
that's my existence playing out in this
reality
and as long as i can stay connected to
that and have
an influence on on those around me
today okay i'm doing a good thing like i
don't want to get caught up in
arguing about past events and um
what's right and what or or even things
that you can't prove
right it's just like theories yeah
i i want to see how that plays out in my
life i want to see how that plays out
in your life i want to see how we can
partner together with ideas on making
the world that we live in a better place
and and um if i can if i can hold space
to that
energy i feel like okay i'm on a good
path and that's
that's a path that that has the
potential to create some positive
changes
for the environment like okay i can
partner with and reverence
creation like okay now i care about
what happens to the earth because wow
okay
mother earth gives like earth
good plants and nourishment to my body
one of the meditations i love is about
your your gaia mother earth meditation
that one goes over look so i appreciate
you saying that
oh man it's so good uh so good i think
the divine feminine energy is something
that we could really
engage in um you know
you know what i'm working on a new song
i wrote it last night but i mentioned
gaia like where were you before gaia
like
whenever gaia um dwelt alone it was
formless and void like mother gaiu was
here before
i i make a mention to it but go ahead
same thing i know
it's it's great man it is it's really
cool like before
i just i just gave the earth like a
second thought
now now it's like wow man i look at it
as something to be revered
like this is something sacred sacred
ground i give i give reverence to
like native american indians wow the way
they engage the earth the way they
engage prayer the way they engage
thanksgiving for what they had um maybe
they had to take a life but they took
and gave reference to that life just
like wow man that's
that's really cool that i try i try to
do that i try to apply that to my life
now like okay if i'm eating
eating some meat i'm gonna say a prayer
over i'm gonna i'm gonna say thank you
for the life that was given
for the nourishment that could come into
my body and i'm also gonna like this
something i just do
it's like i hold space for lawyers
like i want to meditate on lawyers that
do good
lawyers that do good for animals lawyers
that do good for oceans
lawyers that do good for our planet like
let's let's start to make some good
laws that protect these things that give
us life
um so such as trump
well he's not he's not i had that i mean
i had the thought yeah
what some people believe though you know
what and you know what i'm saying i
don't want to get into that but we
he's an easy name just to interject but
you know the idea of and that's what i
wanted to kind of talk about too
i mean just with this idea that god
backs
your delusions or your beliefs
or your religion that the creator of
heaven and earth
backs what you say and then other people
believe it it's a cosign from the
creator
you don't have to you don't have to test
what i say you don't have to judge what
i say
you just need to know that god told me
in his word
in my dreams that this is truth in that
you know preachers and
and christians alike uh you know use
that as this
this instant validation and i think it
can be
um detrimental to a lot of people and
i think it ties into this whole trump
stuff of what just happened with the
whole
all these prophets claiming that trump
was gonna do eight years back to back
and you know and trump is still the
president you know right now and just
weird stuff that goes on um when you tie
god into it we got to be careful with
that
you know right god told me this god says
that
i really like the i feel i think that
the god thing is a cop-out
say hey god god told me that he doesn't
like you being gay
hold on just tell me you don't like gay
people tell me that you don't like
you know this or that or whatever when
you put god in it it's like listen i
didn't say it i love gay people
but god doesn't like you guys like come
on that's the cop out
i own you know what i'm saying own your
convictions own
own what it is that you believe in and
so
it gets you know it's religion man i
don't think we can escape it i think we
just have to find out how to navigate in
the midst of it
what do you think i i i do it's like
trying to trying to destroy
you know obviously we're going to be an
example of of the beautiful parts of it
but
you know you can't the beautiful the
beautiful parts are only beautiful
because the negative parts exist
you know i i would say each person has a
has a responsibility to gain gain
information on their own
and if they're relying on external
sources
they're going to get they're going to
get um
bad information because that's just the
way the universe sets it up
if you would rather get your
spiritual ideas through somebody else
you're going to get bad information
because just think about it the creator
of the universe wants
you to go to the creator of the universe
he doesn't want you to go through
somebody
so i to me it just makes sense that
you're going to get bad information
well maybe that deals with the whole
unworthy thing in in the sin thing is
that listen i'm
i'm i don't live like like brother ken
lives brother ken is a devout man of god
and brother ken has a great prayer life
and brother ken
takes care of his children and me i'm
i'm just coming off a dope i'm coming
off of drugs and
i got to listen to brother kim because
he's going to help me you know what i'm
saying so there's this weird
hierarchy there that um that we want to
listen to what brother ken has to say
about god yeah versus like like you said
that i
yeah just coming off a dope yeah just
trying to get my life together
can come boldly before the throne of
grace as the scripture says
and that's the beauty of the gospel is
that it tears the middle man down
like we don't need a structure we don't
need that external source and that's why
i love it jesus again saying that the
kingdom is within
you know the father wants to commune
with you close your eyes
go go in your prayer closet yeah
communal worship and communal prayer is
good but listen go home and close your
door and
talk to god for yourself um and if
you're not doing that you're missing out
and you're relying on second-hand
information information when we
are the king and priest of our own homes
and we have free access to
to god's heart and that's the that's the
beautiful things from
from the gospel right those are some of
the the perks of being a child of god
you know
that everybody has access to everybody
it's just me or brother ken
whoever that is that's right that's
right kenneth hagin
ken heggy copeland
is there any other questions you got or
or uh i'm reading there's a lot of
conversation here
okay if anybody has any any questions i
mean i know we got a lot of stories in
and i wanna i know i didn't post the
zoom link but if anybody of any anyone's
patrons it's the same zoom link
so if you want to join the conversation
and ask dan uh
uh some said dan
dave a question here or myself uh feel
free to do that so
the zoom link is open um it would i just
had a podcast with dan earlier so
my good friend but if anybody has
questions just let us know but no
there's a lot of conversation going back
and forth
okay good and it's a this is a hard
conversation
it's not fun we don't want to like you
don't want to label anybody you want to
point fingers but
i mean even owning your own delusions i
mean a lot of the stuff that
we have to be okay with um
you know knowing that you know being
able to
ridicule what we believe you know
okay so you asked about going into one
of the dark times so
i'll talk about my my trip to vegas
which was
dark um it ended up to be you know it
was a lot of fun at the time but i
you know again you feel like you're
engaging the
the uh the unlimited potential
of existence so here i'm going to vegas
and you've got all this energy running
through me
and i feel like why is this energy
running through me because my
limbs are just moving so freely and
it's like i i can stretch and i'm my my
uh
ability to be flexible and quick
is like it's like wow it's blowing me
away
and um so i started talking to some
folks that were
were mma right and this now 46 now this
was 11 years ago
and and i'm thinking well maybe i'm
meant to be like an
mma fighter you know i just i don't know
why
but you know it's like i'm so quick with
my limbs and my movements and my
flexibility
and i've got this these tons of energy
and so i'm thinking oh you know and then
there was this
there was this guy giving this talk his
his first name was tito
i forget his last ortiz what's that
tito ortiz tindal peter ortiz yes i got
to meet him
and i get to be on on camera with them
on on the news in vegas and i was like
well this is totally cool
and uh but but in the meantime i'm in
vegas i'm homeless
i'm away from my family i'm thinking
about
becoming this mma star with all this
i you know kundalini energy springing
springing through
me and and i'm like it's crazy dude
and i end up i'm in i'm in vegas
and uh you know i'm thinking i'm
i'm gonna like buy all this stuff
because i've got an unlimited
source of income behind me and so
i end up purchasing you know using my
credit cards i purchased uh
i purchased timeshares so i i made all
these crazy purchases
and i ended up in jail in vegas for
disturbing the peace
and so and if you can imagine disturbing
the peace in vegas you got
you got to be you know pretty over the
top to do that
um as as they were taking me to jail
in in vegas i kicked out the back of the
the uh police car um
and you know i got the full on treatment
i was in the chair with this bit mask on
um
tied to the chair as they're wheeling me
into
into jail and um yeah it was a horrible
experience
horrible experience um so that's that's
when it started to get dark right so i
didn't know
these energies that were coming on me um
but gosh you have that you feel like you
you've got the strength of
a hundred men in you and i remember i
did get into a fight on the strip
with multiple people did quite well and
that fed into my delusion
like i had all this unexplainable energy
and like i i got into a fight with like
six guys and did it did pretty well and
and i'm like you know that's
that's part of the delusion going
down down and and getting getting
getting yourself into trouble
so it seems like
in an everyday interaction
the the delusion is following
the what ifs yeah
in everyday interaction i and i mean
let's just go let's just say a
a woman says hello what if i
married her what if we went on a date
what if i you know in your mind and
you're like playing all the
stuff out and then again you have all
this this jolt of energy you're
watching an mma fighter interview what
if i become an mma fighter
yeah what if i start this website what
if i become an energy healer
and you start following them down and
you have to cut them off hold on
wherever
no no no no no that's not what i chose
to do
i chose to do listen dave i you know i
deal with that too you know and it's a
creativity thing there's a creative
aspect there's a negative aspect and uh
you know that can that you can follow
down if it's something negative or
something that just really
i say negative well it's it just is
like um what would you call it um
changing careers i can easily start a
website
and maybe get away with it it's gonna
take time
it's gonna take energy it's gonna pull
me away from what i said yes to
you know and you know that i'm big on
this you listen to the podcast i am big
on this like
because i got so many things pulling me
into this and pulling me here and
this would be a great idea that's why i
love working with people i give them
some of my ideas
listen you can do this because you can
tell me your story listen do this boom
boom i'm a visionary
and many of us are we've got all of
these great ideas and we try to follow
them
we have this okay what if i did this
what if i became a christian rapper
what if i started a metal band what if i
started my podcast like hold on
am i really gonna start a podcast i mean
i think that's life though
yeah that's life that's decision that's
choices but i think maybe
the bipolar thing is really following it
out i mean i've got a friend who's
who's diagnosed bipolar and that stuff
would deal with him
for months he'll follow it out for
months
is that what we're talking about months
are we talking a day that seems like a
thousand years
or we talking about months are we
talking about days until you slap out of
it
what are we talking about are following
a thought of what could be because
listen that's how
that's how businesses are created that's
how dreams are made to follow a thought
see the potential have a vision
bring it to pass all potentials all
realities exist
you can do any of these dave how manic
are we talking
all of it all of it really i mean it's
it's helpful until it's problematic
that's that's what i go back until it
pulls you away from
you're talking to your wife but you're
thinking about the young the young
random woman you seen today at the mall
okay because you kept following it out
and you went home
and you're still following it out you're
talking to your wife but you're
following out
what could happen if i leave and go with
this lady
and then some people act on it yeah and
they do it
and it's problematic yeah they quit
their job
listen i'm gonna be a christian rapper
quit their job
become a christian rapper make zero
dollars
it's a problem you know so i'll tell you
what i do now
okay um what i do now is i come back to
the ideas that i'm there
okay and what i do with that is i'll say
okay maybe my wife and i are jiving on
on some
some ideas or concepts and stuff like
that in the past
in my delusions i've said i'm divorced
and
i go off and do my own thing which has
created its own problems
um but now what i'll do is i'll say
we're not jiving on some issues we need
some help talking about these issues
so instead of saying and and i'm
committed to staying here
also like before i would get the
energies on me
and i would and i would feel like okay
it's creating a toxic environment
i just gotta split because i can see
it's creating some
some fear and anxiety for my wife and so
in order to appease the situation
now i don't do that i i like okay i have
a safe space
and a plan like if the energies come on
me
first of all i got emergency meds to
take to slow me down
so i get a good night's sleep so that's
one of the one of the uh
one of the onsets like i'm not able to
sleep
so i can go a long time without sleep
and have this energy right
so i make sure i get my sleep i make
sure i have my routine
if i'm off of work i have a routine i
wake up
i make breakfast i walk the dogs
i make coffee so all this i have a
routine that i'm engaged with
that i can still call work
and if i'm working then it's it's it's
helpful for me because all right
then i've got a routine that i'm that
i'm engaged with
yeah you take away my routine um
then then it's like
anything can pop up yeah right in the
garden with you
you know what i think that a lot of
people are coming to find out
some of those podcasts is there but
they're bipolar
that they're that they have bipolar
disorder you know what i'm saying like
the more i talk to you the more like oh
man
but i already know you know i'm saying
like it is only through
the same way that you find solace from
whatever is is negative in your life or
whatever is pulling you out of your
present moment um yeah the the way that
you find peace is the same way that i do
too
you know and uh whether you want to say
it's bipolar one or by
or even if it if you suffer from that
but
it is definitely a part of the spiritual
path they may be
they may be the mystical path the the
path of
of com the song and dance of the spirit
world you know that you are
in dancing between the blurred lines you
know yeah
well that's good yeah i feel like
you know people with bipolar disorder
that had been given the label
i think you just diagnosed me then i
mean okay damn
dave i think you just diagnosed me on
this podcast i'm joking
well i don't receive that i rebuked that
and nominated there you go
well it's demonic path right we're just
monitoring oh it's different
and i do think the lines are getting
blurred in in it
it's always been blurry we just it's
it's it's our it's our denial
that that they're similar is what's
messed people up
to say that yeah there is a connection
there there is a back and forth there is
this
dream realm that exists in the midst and
we go back and forth maybe even every
single night when we go to sleep you
know what i'm saying of how
and then that's how close we are with
that realm when you wake up and you're
receiving messages listen i just
i had a dream um two days ago
i woke up me and my wife woke up she's
like i had a weird dream he had me too
and we're just like kind of barely
asleep
barely awake barely asleep whatever in
between and i told him my dream is that
our neighbors were in our yard from our
other house that were
we're getting ready to sell our
neighbors from across the street were in
that yard and they were taking down my
fence
and i was like hey why are you taking
out a fence because my dogs had got out
the yard we had to go back to our old
house
i just bought a new house we had to go
back to the old house and spend the
night and my dogs were in the driveway
like how do you
how did y'all get in the driveway or the
neighbors working on the fence and so
the dogs got out i said hey what's going
on well there was a water main
that broke okay and we just had to take
up the fence to
uh to fix it well the guy's taking up
the fence in my dream
we get the call today that the neighbor
that i had in my dream he's buying our
our house our other other property it's
like wow
like i think that we are closely related
more than we know with
with the dream world or the spirit
spirit world which is the land of
make-believe which is the imagination
yeah yeah yeah so cool wow little things
like that so have that connection
to me that blows me away you know um on
one of my groups there was a dad
that was talking about his son with um
autism and unable to speak autism
so he found a way to communicate with
his autistic son
and his autistic son they ended up
doing telepathy so the father
was thinking about a subject and the son
was able to
type it out and so the the the non-uh
speaking autistic son said oh i've got
i've got friends like me here right now
so i mean it's mind-blowing did you just
didn't i mean
so now now did you hear this in a group
or do you hear this on my podcast
because i remember somebody saying this
on a podcast the other day
no it was it was in my i was in the
group aaron
uh group and so if someone shared like
the same
story on on the podcast the other day
okay they might have they might have saw
it they might have saw the problem i
mean it could be
it could be like something deeper though
like it could be
something that is happening do you
remember that i don't know if you
watched that podcast episode
but the guy was talking about how he
connected with his autistic son and he
did it
or daughter and it was it was telepathic
and she
finally got it and she was able like to
communicate
with with her father telepathically and
they couldn't they couldn't speak
verbally
it was just confusion they couldn't
understand one another and it was
through telepathic and he would
look at her and he finally asked
something and she shook her head and
like
it was they just started crying and she
finally understood them and it was
through telepathic communication so to
me that's something that's near and dear
to my heart right because my daughter is
20 29 years old she lives in a home
with other kids like her that she's
grown up with so to speak
and she she doesn't have the ability to
communicate with words
so a lot of times like when she was
young she was drawn to
her music and humming right
so i noticed i always noticed that about
it like she's drawn to music
and then she likes to hum and then and
then i started to think
you know when she's going in the car
with me she's looking back and her eyes
are fluttering
and she's smiling and interacting and
i'm thinking does she have the ability
to interact with
you know a realm that i can't see like
you know it
and to me you know you when we're
talking about using our vocal cords
to ground with spirit you know like
like home chanting and stuff like that
like it sends a vibration
in our body that does something really
beneficial and cool
that we don't understand and that's and
that's how miranda
she was communicating with the music
that she really enjoyed
and i'm just like wow man there's so
much to discover that's really cool
that that we don't know about yet so to
me that i mean i feel like that's a
sense of wonder
that i still have that like oh man we
don't know it all you know we're still
discovering
these cool kids that yeah at face value
they might be problematic to our
to our systems that we've we've built up
but the way that we can communicate with
them might be so
cool if we open our minds up to itself
deep man good stuff um we got uh
chris chris is joining us and i think
chris might have a question for you or
something all right
as well all right cool what's up chris
bro how are you man
all right uh really just wanted to know
how to get a hold of you
i guess okay all right all right great
chris good to see you again
and yeah yeah i i recognize you from our
thursday night discussion
and uh definitely i've gone through the
path of the healers course
okay now what i've done with that
information is i've applied that to my
own family setting right now
and and so i don't have a services-based
connection if you want to look me up on
facebook i'm on facebook you can direct
message me on facebook and we can i'm
i'm definitely
happy to connect with you there and uh
you know point you to any resources that
might have been helpful for me
and even just talk talk with you so i'm
um
yeah yeah you could you can connect with
me that way we are working on the
website though and that would be like an
email option and stuff if you want to
give the website out too
you know i know this i'm helping you
with that we got some work to do but
if you want to give the the website
while we're here too
so it's uh all soulsteal.com
yeah because i would i would just like
to talk to you because there's a lot of
similarities i was 17 with my first kid
and
he has special needs and i've dealt with
depression
anxiety just crippling
depression and anxiety and stuff but i
think we could have
i think your experiences could really
help me in a lot of ways
all right yeah definitely definitely
well yeah man i'm looking forward to
connecting and and please
direct message me i'm i'm off of work
this week
so i've got i've got some time and uh
yeah love to connect with you bro
he's also on discord and i think if you
message dave he'll get the message but
dave's on
discord as well okay cool it's an easy
way to connect
having a daughter or a child with
special needs
is is something that that not a lot of
people can relate to and
and again you know with the mental
health thing you feel
all alone right so you have you have a
child with special needs and
the first part of it is feeling all
alone and nobody can relate to my
experience i feel all alone with all
these fears and feelings
and so just to be able to talk about
that freely is is huge bro so i look
forward to it
awesome thank you yeah now
i know we don't we don't have anything
official yet we're just kind of flirting
with the idea and uh and it is one of
those possibilities that you can follow
out and i've started to follow out
but um talking about doing a round table
uh
discussion type podcast where i wouldn't
even have to be there we've got so many
people in our community
even you two guys having a talk or
adding people to the mix or whatever
that would
create for a beautiful dialogue and so
we're going to have some more stuff
coming out that i know that
dave and you too chris would be perfect
at being a part of the uh
the panel so uh that's probably gonna be
something that deals with the uh
the mystic circle website that we're
working on and uh just really showcasing
a lot of other people's work and
and what they have to offer as well so
that's something that we're
working on slowly as well uh with that
that whole thing the mysticcircle.net is
what uh
it's gonna be so some type of membership
slash
uh round table showcasing everybody it's
kind of like what i'm doing but just
with a lot more people kind of thing so
anybody who's interested in that too uh
reach out to me if you have anything you
want to feature so richie is uh
commenting in the chat richie's a party
richie's got some some beautiful
uh five minute if you go to the
mysticcircle.net right now
richie's work is already up there
richie's been sending me some uh some
beautiful breath work and just body
movement
uh to be present little five minute
short things that are powerful
literally they're really good so they're
they're five minutes they're quick
little things to kind of be present in
your body start your day which are
really good
so go check it out now it's skull and
bones it's the very beginning
stages of the website but you can kind
of but richie's got like
six videos up there that are awesome so
all right
right on mystic.net
oh anything else chris i mean yeah chris
no that that's perfect thank you for
letting me
get on here for sure all right brother
thanks for coming on
yeah so uh anything else dave i mean
we've covered
a pretty good bit of stuff man um
anything else that we didn't touch on
i've tried to
you know follow out every scenario that
i could
to create something i just wanted to i
just wanted to
say if if anybody's thinking about
titrating off medicine
there is a facebook group
um let's see
there you go my bad go ahead okay no
worries there's a
if anybody's thinking about titrating
off medicine
taking bipolar meds or any uh
meds psychotic meds that they want to
get off of there's a facebook group
called
inner compass conversations
and uh they they're facilitating a
community
of getting off of medications that can
be
um problematic for getting off of so
yeah
i'm a big proponent of working you know
with professionals not
not throwing your system into shock in
trying to get it
get out getting off some of these
medicines um thankfully i work with a
psychiatrist that that knows my story
respects my story
and respects my desire to get off of
medicine um
so i you know i wish that up on on
everybody
that that has a mental health challenge
as the mental health community
is changing and evolving which is which
is cool
and i get i guess the moral to this
whole story is that
you are using spirituality birth work
um qigong and these different techniques
to
essentially get off of the medication
that that you're prescribed right
yes yes along with along with
a supportive community that has similar
challenges
i i wouldn't want to get off on my own i
don't i don't
i see more danger than benefit uh just
getting off on my own not being attached
to a community
so i i've already witnessed the
the benefits of being a part of
community and being able to support
each other along the path somebody
somebody who's not a part of that
community who's not a part of those
groups
what would some of the questions be that
someone would ask you to make sure that
you're okay
are there some checks hey have you felt
this have you felt the need or desire to
do that
are you okay do you think is there
anything like that like any questions
that like you know weekly you would ask
someone who
is a part of a group like that my first
question is
how are you sleeping so um yeah yeah
if somebody's talking about feeling
manic energy coming on um
i'll ask them how their sleep is going
and i've got
i've got are we talking are we talking
rough sleep or we're talking no
sleep for that night no sleep no sleep
for that night staying up trying
tossing and turning all night not
getting any sleep or not even trying to
sleep
or just having all these creative ideas
that you you're not able to stop
stop it stop it dave that's come on man
that you're reading my book stop it dave
but but if it's not it's only it's
helpful until it's problematic
so if you've never been into a hospital
situation you've got creative ideas
flowing and if you've got
outlets like you know writing songs and
doing videos
and and you know putting your energy
into something tangible
then it's a great thing i'm i'm talking
about
you know starting businesses
that you've got no business starting
yeah you know like
you know just on a whim decision
spending a lot of money
you know are you spending a lot of money
are you purchasing a lot of things
all at once with no plan
so it i guess the plan has to go along
with
the ideas for it to be for it to make
sense
you know yeah it's got to be
it's got to be conducive to to your
future i guess right
yeah yeah so i come back to i'm married
i have kids
i have dogs those are the those are the
beings in my sphere of influence
those those are the beings of influence
that
that matter most to me now if
go ahead i mean i i put myself on the
spot but i put you on the spot
here too i mean you know and i mentioned
just introducing you
when you're mentioning these manic
purchases you know
you've been you've been a huge supporter
of my work um
you know you you've paid to to be in you
know my program
and uh and and most of the stuff i put
out
are those manic purchases or are these
things that you've thought about that
listen i this is going to help me and
you know and you understand
benefit me and my future my well-being
of of the
the me that i want to create because i
wonder like
you know what because you you support
most everything i put out you know
that's not a dis that's a
i'm thankful but i want to make sure
that those are
thoughtful things that you've thought
about
you know supporting whether it's my work
or whoever else's
work that you're supporting you know
well all right so every
you know from the beginning uh truth
like
like i was being in religion you tied
right so for sure so i go to church
i tithe for their services i i respect
that they put in work
that they've been trained that they're
putting in time to their product
so as an energy exchange i give them a
time
right so now as my religious ideas and
beliefs have changed
and you've you've provided community
so then i i kind of take that idea of
like the energy exchange and say okay
well he's he's putting time he's
trained he's putting out products that
have
meaning and value that that i resonate
with and i use to engage the spirit
spirit spiritual realm so like that's an
energy exchange that i give like okay
for sure like i have no problem
supporting now the the path of the
healer that was a that was a big
purchase that i talked about with my
wife and
and i said hey listen you know i've got
these experiences
i don't know if they could benefit
anybody else
i don't know if i want to go ahead and
do it right now
but i i definitely think it might be
something beneficial
that that could benefit people if they
wanted to connect with me
now i mean if it grows and i have to
spend like
you know chris is reaching out to me and
i don't mind connecting with him at all
but if like
10 people reach out to me then then it's
like okay
now i have to make a conscious choice
i'm a sheet metal worker i make good
money doing construction
now i i i'm taking time away from my
kids and you know so that
it just put puts more into the equation
but it was an actual conversation that i
had with my wife
so it wasn't a matter and it was
something that you followed through you
didn't
purchase it and not show up you know
what i'm saying you were
very present you were you were a part of
the the
the sessions and so i and you got
something out of it right
i did yeah i did i did um and
and more so i think it's i think it's
just healthy that we can even have this
conversation you know what i'm saying
like you know
and i and i honor your whole
walk man you know what i'm saying and
how you've uh
and where you are with it and you are
trained
in everything that i trained you in and
and god has been training you in
um so when you're ready to launch you're
good you've got it all figured out you
may need a little help here and there
but
um if you decide to go that route that
route which is totally a part of your
life it's not even a what if
it totally is a part of your life even
if it's in conversation like we talked
about
even if it is in this interview that
some of that stuff is still coming out
knowing that people are being set free
and being healed through this
conversation of you being
open knowing that if that's all you got
from it because we totally covered that
um it's huge so i mean i honor your path
and i thank you for the support but um
for sure and i see the potential
i'll see all those potentials um for
everyone who uh
who signed up for that some of it came
later and that's a whole nother talk
uh meeting with um brandon
who brandon was like kind of like
brandon came into that that
you know the course of like hey i'm just
i'm just supporting i'm just here i'm
gonna
take notes you know i don't i'm not
gonna launch a business online business
or a blog or a website or a podcast but
i'm i'm gonna take notes and see where i
fit in on this and he believed in it so
much and then so
brandon ended up coming and i couldn't
even see brandon as a healer
in in that sense obviously as a prayer
warrior somebody who loves god and loves
people
but uh and but how that would look and
then so brandon came to uh
to to the the retreat and i got to play
with brandon and got to hang out with
him for for that whole day which he's
come to the first retreat that i did
but it was this one i said okay i see
the spiritual healer
in brandon you know what i'm saying and
so it's there
whether you brand it with a website and
a logo and an intro and a podcast that's
one thing
but as that you're going on your
day-to-day speaking blessings and being
a light into the world listen
that's i think that it has more impact
and more
integrity and more valor than any
microphone
or whatever so man kudos to you for
for doing what you do and and you are a
healer
and you know that that has nothing to do
with a with a ministry or
um a podcast or anything so man shout
out
that's right i appreciate that man thank
you that's good stuff well
uh give the website one more time we got
to work on it there's some things we got
to do some updates on it but go ahead
and give it
uh while we're here because i know
you're going to do some blogs and stuff
as well so go ahead and give that that
website out
again if you want to if you want to um
contact me right now
uh you can find me on facebook and you
can direct message me and i'll get back
to you
but the uh the website that we're
working on is all soulsheel.com
all soulshield.com dave uh such honor to
connect with you to share your story
and i know that that it helps people uh
feel
feel less marginalized i mean that's one
that's one aspect but that's a huge
aspect
feel less marginalized to feel like
they're not alone
because how many of us we go through
this stuff when we feel like listen
we're the only ones that's going through
this
that's hard man and to have people to
talk to we have a community we've built
a community
there's nothing you can say that's gonna
you know weird us out um
or or you know cause us to run you off
or just seem so out of the box and
you know we stand by that and we've
heard those conversations we may not
agree with them but we're
you know we're open to have the
conversation for sure and that we honor
people where they're at
and dave is a part of our community so
love you dave thanks for hanging out
with me man
enjoyed it so much and i'm sure you're
i'm gonna facilitate some stuff
uh here in the in in the not so distant
uh future
where i want to do some roundtables and
have you and some other people a part of
it so
love it just looking forward to it may
have to delegate some work and
and some help but we're going to set it
up for sure i see it
it is a possibility that i see and i can
follow it i can follow and i can bring
it into existence i know that it can
help people
it is not so far without my re without
my outside of my reach
i'm a i'm gonna make it happen we've
been talking about it for a while
sounds good brother love you bro we'll
connect soon thank you
all right shalom shalom peace
dave vogner ladies and gentlemen good
guy listen
you got to be able to be open you got to
be able to be
honest gotta be able to be candid
with your experience your spirituality
has to be practical
you have to be able to explain it to a
child you have to be
you have to have something tangible to
give people it's not just these
you know faith or grandiose ideas or
what happened 2000 years ago or 6 000
years ago
has to be something that is practical
for people where they are today
what's helping you cope
i want to know about it i do
is it your relationship with buddha
listen let's talk about it
allah krishna the lack thereof
let's talk about it man like i want to
know what's helping people to maintain
their mental awareness and their
spiritual awareness
to be happy to be healthy
to be content in their own bodies
to feel comfortable in their own bodies
to not feel like a
foreigner and i feel like an alien to
this world
to find their place and fit in because a
lot of those kind of things come early
on
it's only me i'm the only one that's
going through this nobody understands
but we take that away
really early on when we share these
stories we have people like dave on we
have people like
chris on here to kind of just be open
and honest and unapologetic about their
life
and you know just really could care less
about what any naysayer you know has to
say about what is truth and what is real
listen you've never
journeyed through their those their mind
the depths of of hell if you will for
for an individual individual who has
seen things that you've never
seen experience things that you've never
seen what is the darkest hell you've
been to
is it the bottom of a bottle is it
alcoholism is it drug addiction is it
prostitution
there's people that's been deeper and
darker
and they made it out they live to tell
their story
and i think we need to listen i think we
need to listen to
what's working for them what's helping
them to be a good father
what's helping them to be a good
employee a good friend a good father
and take some notes because people are
out here struggling
mental health
is is definitely at the top of my list
and and to be
open about that not hide it uh
about what works for me um
you know it's gotten a lot better over
the years but it was some weird stuff
that i had to go through there was some
weird
stuff that i made it back to tell a
story and now
now i have a podcast you know and now i
have a beautiful family and now i
i love my life and and uh
not everybody makes it out
um people die in it man people
people seeking for truth seeking for
validation seeking for love
um seeking to be understood
and that's where the church should come
in but we know that that's not happening
so they go to the internet they go to
google
they go to the search engines and they
find the truthseeker podcast they find
gaia they find fill in the blank michael
tessarion jordan maxwell
david wilco they find seekers they find
people who are open and honest about
their situation about their story and
by simply doing that they're helping
others and and that's powerful to be
open
and to be honest and be and to be
authentic
goes a lot further than we think
nothing you think then i think you know
and i
i hear that almost as a cliche of um
you're not alone man you're not alone
but
but i really read these messages and to
see
the power that you're not alone has
listen man you're not alone it's other
people find the others find the others
they're out there
a lot of them are listening to this
podcast
or similar podcasts i'll say that and uh
and we can help each other
and um be
the version of you
that you needed be a version of you
today that you needed
when you were lost when you were looking
for answers
and that's all i'm doing i'm looking
into this camera and i'm speaking to the
young truth seeker listen man
you're not alone bro you're gonna be all
right
you're gonna make it listen keep it up
man there's great things ahead
speaking to the younger version of
myself that needed someone to talk to
that needed to know that he wasn't alone
i was a lonely kid even though i had
friends i was alone
and many of you feel that way whether
you felt that way or you still feel that
way you're not alone
it's powerful simple it should be
it's not deep we can get deep love to
get deep
real deep talk about all kinds of things
we talked about a lot of deep stuff on
this episode
opened up and admitted a lot of things
and explored a lot of things
but listen you got to be willing to go
where no man is gone
and that's one thing you will not find
in religion
but you will find in honesty
and people who are open people who are
seeking
for healing who champion healing willing
to
make a mockery or a ridicule of
themselves
don't got to be a know-it-all listen i'm
just a seeker
i found some things i'm freely going to
share it
you know there's some deeper things you
got to hit me up for that
but we talk about a lot of them on here
so shout out to everybody
in the chat i'm sitting here reading the
chat shout out to everybody
uh in the live stream listening to us no
matter where you are i love
each and every one of you guys it's
amazing that um
that you guys resonate with this work
and it's simply being open and honest
it really is not hiding anything willing
to talk about
any and everything um that that
resonates
uh whether it be comedic relief rather
it be something really deep
explaining the deep mysteries of life
and spirituality making them real
practical
taking the really practical things and
really simplicities of the gospel and
beautiful simple truths and making them
sound really deep
which they are it's something that i uh
that i found this piece in this water to
swim
and dance and to even paint uh this
kaleidoscope of beautiful colors that i
call my music
that i call my books and my my podcast
and everything that i bring to the table
and anything that
you know my community even a beautiful
uh eclectic
uh bunch of of misfits if you will uh
much like where jesus goes and
he finds his disciples and they were an
eclectic bunch of misfits rough around
the edges
filthy language cursing drink it like
they were just rough around the edges
and
and he seen potential in them and uh and
and i really see it in you you know no
matter where you are
um there's beauty in you there's
potential
and and i see it and um and i hope you
see it as well
and so this podcast is going to
make an attempt to call that beauty out
of you
we have a community discord chat
really cool i'm always watching and i
know people are
people use it more than i do but i'm
reading everything even though i don't
respond trust me i read it if you want
to jump
in voice chat i'll jump in if i see any
of you guys in voice chat in my discord
channel i'm jumping in
i'm going to say hello so jump into
voice chat
step out of phase give it a try i'll say
hello i'll hang out with you guys
and i'll do that quicker than i want
then i'll text
but uh shout out to everybody who is a
part of our community we have a
beautiful eclectic community
prayer warriors awesome men and women of
god people
with strong anointings and callings who
are trying to find their place in the
world and listen they found
it on discord they found a beautiful
community that we've created here with
the podcast
and and they thrive in it so if you're
looking for community
join the discord join the patreon our
thursday night school of the mystics
we're about to add a lot more like my
vision
is a lot bigger than just those and uh
and i'm trying to
get other people in the game and try to
find people who are committed
that's a big thing finding people who
are committed finding people who are
going to show up
and to kind of delegate roles to them
whether it's doing the same thing just
on a different night
to entrust to them to do those things to
lead a community and
uh and i think i found some people who
are
up for it i think some people who are
going to be really good at it so
that's what the mystic circle is i
haven't talked a lot about it i've
mentioned it
last year just a little bit but we're
starting to work on the website again
and put some more content and really
figure out how that thing is going to
operate i mean i'm talking about
webinars with big name
uh people we're talking about
live streams and community streams every
night of the week with with different
healers and
and teachers and people that i believe
in mostly probably people you don't know
but they're people who are powerful who
go under the radar and to try to give
them
some type of platform to try to give
them some type of grid where they can
uh communicate and uh you know showcase
their talents because there's a lot of
awesome people even without within our
community i mean this talk tonight dave
is just
dave doesn't even have a website like
we're trying to get dave a website
dave's got so much
to bring to the table i mean you you
guys have heard it he's got
so much more we didn't even talk about
like dave's take on
demons and disembodied spirits and being
you know influenced by the other realms
dave's got some
beautiful stuff that he's going to bring
to the table and and i want you guys to
to hear him uh because he's got so much
to share
and so much that will help you at least
take another
look at what you thought you knew if
that's what it if that's all it is
listen
that'll help you so much with that i'ma
say peace and shalom
love each and every one of you i see
your comments i see
the beautiful blessings and everybody
hanging out with us there in chat i love
you guys
again peace and shalom go check out the
website now
listen my buddy richie uh the imaginati
has a bunch of
stuff up right now is there's like six
uh really cool
breath work exercises and body work
exercises just to
touch the meridians to take a breath and
to feel alive it's really good
uh the mysticcircle.net also go to
truthseeker.com we got a bunch of stuff
that
that i'm working on as well with the the
path of the healer
and the uh upcoming retreat that we have
in may so go ahead and check that out if
you're
interested send me a message i'll try to
answer all your questions
with that i'm gonna say peace and shalom
love you guys we'll do it again very
soon peace peace
well that does it for this episode folks
to hear more episodes
of the truth zika podcast head over to
truthseeker.com and if you're wanting to
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go to our patreon page at patreon.com
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