Exiting Church | The Black Sheep Experience | Craig Hostetler
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNc4uzVdb7U
Transcript source: YouTube captions

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you guys so jumping into the podcast
today my guest actually had me on his
podcast a couple weeks ago actually on
my birthday I say weeks ago it's been
like a couple months now time is flying
man he had me on his show which is the
black sheep experience podcast give a
shout out to my guest today Craig
Hostetler Craig how you doing brother
welcome to the show get hey man thanks
like I'm glad to be on here with you
today dude I love what
doing man and thanks for having me on
bro
no problem man I just listen to the
episode again just getting you know I'm
saying getting ready so I just played
the whole episode it was some good good
nuggets man a lot of people like it when
I go on other people's shows and they
ask those good questions and stuff man
so again thank you for having me on and
for those of you who haven't heard that
episode make sure you go to iTunes or
Spotify or wherever and type in the
black sheep experience podcast and we
did a really good episode over there so
plug that really epic so yeah man let I
wanna I mean I want to cover that what
that means the black sheep experience
the black sheep of the family the black
sheep of Christianity faith and all of
these things and uh I feel like there's
a lot of people that I cater to with
this podcast and there's two different
realms I think there's the realm who who
are into the New Age who are into
mysticism spirituality and I'm able to
kind of introduce Christ to them a new
view of who Jesus is right and then on
the other hand there's the Christians
who will have the bigger questions and
they aren't feeling fulfilled anymore in
church they still love Jesus but they're
they have questions about aliens they
love Jesus but they love mushrooms they
love Jesus but they like to have a
couple drinks on the weekend with
friends and so some of those things
don't really jive in church and you kind
of have to be a hypocrite and put on a
mask when you around those people so
kind of those two realms and I think
we're in a perfect place but I want to
hear your story because I think you you
are a pastor at one point or served in
the church right yeah yeah man I was a
pastor for while I was in ministry for a
couple of decades there man and for a
while as an assistant pastor and then as
a lead pastor in a big organization and
I had issues with certain Orthodox
beliefs that just it was a problem man
and I suppressed at night and I was
hiding that as well as you know just
some other things like you talked about
you know having having a couple of
drinks or even just being able to to say
hey I don't know what I think about hell
I don't know what I think about crystals
I don't know what I think about you know
all these different kinds of things that
the church just says
no way we can't talk about it it you're
either in or you're out
and yeah exactly man I started to feel
like a hypocrite and the questions were
eating me alive
and I finally decided I'm going to we
left the ministry and I decided you know
what I'm gonna I'm gonna ask the hard
questions and I found out that some of
those things man they dude they really
alienated me from the tribe that I was
in and you know I I'm glad that I'm
searching I'm glad that I asked the
questions I'm glad that I'm coming up
with my own ideas but I think if you're
gonna decide to do that then then you
got to know man even some of those
people that say they love you man
they're gonna they're gonna cast you out
pretty quick well so like a Meade was
you trying to study this stuff to maybe
sharpen the body of Christ or just
simply like kind of honesty ask
questions hey what does the Bible say
about this i watch this documentary that
was really good what you trying to kind
of like tie it in or was there like okay
I have to leave to explore this stuff
how did that how did that transition go
and how long did it take well man it
took a while but you know there was
there were two different sides to it I
mean I we enjoy and talking about my
wife and I we enjoy like the moon you
know you can just feel like an essence
or a presence sometimes around yeah it's
gonna sound crazy but you know certain
plants or trees or you know all these
kinds of things there's something to
that and so part of that there was part
of that for me it's like what what is
this ethereal feeling that I have along
with man I just you know life is hard
it's very difficult and some of the
questions about Hell some of the
questions about this angry god thing I
could no longer just suppress those and
I found that when I asked questions you
know more questions would arise yeah and
I mean one of the things that I that
helped me quite a bit was realizing that
you know there's a whole venue in early
Christianity of guys who who said part
of the way I know God is that I don't
know him at all you know part of the way
that I that I understand God as a father
is that he's like a father but not like
any father that I've ever experienced
and so there's an unknowing that you
have to sort of become comfortable with
and then I realized there's a whole
bunch of people that feel that way so
the process for me it did take a long
time you have to learn not to be afraid
of God which is a big one and I still
struggle with that quite frankly and
also you have to learn to realize that
what we know especially here in the
states as Orthodox Christianity is it's
not really Orthodox it's just our own
Western view of who God is and it
doesn't really resemble anything like
what he truly is in my opinion yeah I
got a bunch of my friends who did just
like really big into the church fathers
they're big into John Wesley Wesley I
mean you know all the you know old guys
and they really reverence their work and
even the whole you know st. Reformation
or whatever to think that like we fixed
it with the Reformation no they didn't
like those guys are not to be honored
they kind of broke away and did their
own thing but it even that did not
reflect what Christianity was before
Catholicism like just because we have
the reverence and uh it's different in
the West with the Reformation it doesn't
mean that's right just because the
Catholics had it wrong doesn't mean that
the Reformation got it right because
they didn't you know until and I think
we're fooling ourselves to think that
they kind of took it and fixed it or
made it better right because it's it's
almost like you know just kind of
settling for second best or something
you know yeah absolutely man I in fact
I've been wrestling with that very thing
because for a while I was kind of the
same way like you know Martin Luther man
he really broke away and he really fixed
this thing but the reality is he
probably
fixed it to the level that he was
consciously able to but it still were
still a long ways away I mean things
like Sola scriptura
I'm not denouncing the Bible at all but
yeah man that that's that's a fallacy
dude it's completely wrong
guys like Clemente who was an early
church father in his time period they
had a group of people called the
Gnostics now Clemente didn't like the
Gnostics he thought they were dead wrong
but in his rebuttal of the Gnostics he
wanted to make sure that he didn't kill
what we would call gnosis and and I know
you know what gnosis means but for some
of the listener she Oh gnosis is divine
knowledge that's not you know it's not
received from a book it's not received
from an individual it's not received
from a teacher or you saved by straight
from God it's it is a divine knowing and
and even says that you know he said
gnosis in itself is the supreme end
that's how we're supposed to learn
directly from the Spirit of God that's
not what the that's not what the
Reformation brought about at all in fact
until it helped to continue to kill that
idea of spirituality in OSIS yup
definitely there's a bunch of you know
books that were taken out of the Bible I
just did a whole video on some stuff
that really opened me up and I know I
went into a little bit of detail on your
episode just quoting back to that but um
I just did a video quoting the books
that were quoted in the Bible like
there's like a bunch of books that was
that says you know as it is written in
the book of shamaya the Prophet as it is
written in the book of II do the Prophet
as it's written of in the war and it
will quote gesture they'll quote Enoch
but you know we don't we can't find
those books anymore some of them we can
but even the 1611 version of the Bible
that had all these other books within
them that the early church held near and
dear to their heart so even with that
quote you're saying what is it a solos
scriptura yeah scriptural oh yeah it's
only you know if then just scripture
alone or whatever okay that scripture
too or was at one point so what's the
case you only have a piece of it
if you at s'what you're you know I'm
saying so that should open up some
questions and why that was taken out and
what what information what knowledge was
even in those books you know yeah
absolutely man and I mean first of all
you're right there's tons of stuff that
have been removed and it's been you know
essentially castrated to become this
thing that that no longer holds real
power to it and whenever we talk about I
mean there's a whole level of reading
the Bible you know reading the light the
Bible at face level just like word for
word line for line in in the Jewish
culture which is you know where this
came from I mean that is like the most
primitive and primordial form of reading
the Bible what you're really supposed to
do when Yuri scripture is contemplated
and and seek to understand it from a
divine level you know it's I heard
something the other day by a guy named
Eckhart Tolle who you know isn't a
Christian but still loves the words of
Jesus and he said you know the words of
Jesus had been around for 2,000 years
and we've been repeating them but who
really is understood them and he goes on
to say very few people understand them
except for maybe one or two Buddhists
you know so which is absolutely true man
most the time we don't understand what
Jesus is talking about and we don't
spend time contemplating it and looking
into it and diving into it and asking
the Holy Spirit I mean when the Holy
Spirit says you have no where the Bible
essentially says you have no need of a
teacher the Spirit will teach you what
does that mean
we don't use that today exactly that was
one of the first things I found I quoted
all the time they were always wanting
you to be under somebody who was you're
covering who was your shepherd I was
like it's a good shepherd Jesus no no no
no who's your pastor who's your like the
Good Shepherd the pastor there's the
same thing and then you find that
scriptures in James I believe that said
when it says
is it it might be first John I think
what it says that you need not any man
teach you but the Spirit of God will
lead you into all truth and teach you
all things whatever you need I mean
that's his job he the Holy Spirit will
be called the teacher the comforter you
know what I'm saying and so that's what
he does and so another man can't do that
job obviously we learn from each other
we learned from hopefully eventually you
learn from nature you learn from
circumstance and situation you learn
from the Bible you learn from everything
but what's deposited within your spirit
is given to you by the Holy Spirit which
teaches it to you in a way that you can
understand and you're talking about
contemplating in the scripture many
people do that without even knowing it
because they read it at a certain time
in their life and it means something to
them and it's a golden and you can't
tell them anything different it help
them get through the day it help them
form some type of theology but then the
more reading you do or even looking at
some of the information in those books
that were taken out and you go back to
that scripture like dang that meant
something totally different and now I
have the true interpretation of what
that meant and then seven years later
you come back to it with some more
insight you know man
I think I know what it means now now in
me something totally different you know
well it's supposed to be a living
exactly you know and I think so many
times we just take we really remove the
power from it you know and it's funny
too because like in the esoteric
Christian spectrum the idea of the Bible
as a tool is a powerful one but there's
also the idea that we have to go inward
to really discover God and so many
especially in the West I think are most
of our faith is is exoteric so it's
outside of us you know we're always
looking for something outside of us a
teacher an event a television program
you know we're always I'm not saying
those things are necessarily wrong yeah
but the primary mode of most people's
faith is exoteric instead of esoteric
you know and which comes from the word s
otero which means to go in and you got
people like meister eckhart who
a great mystic and you know he said
things like God is closer to me than I
am to myself and to truly find him I
have to go inward and discover the
kingdom that God is building within me I
think a lot of times man you look at
things like you know we talked about you
know God's building God's building a
church you know God's building his
kingdom well what does that mean it
doesn't it doesn't mean that God's
building this huge massive economic
force in the world it means that God's
doing something inside of you that's
supposed to transform you really from
the inside out you know if that makes
sense yeah that's one of the most
beautiful things about Christ really and
just about spirituality is the fact that
you don't need nothing outside of
yourself you don't need anything that
somebody's trying to sell you were and
then Jesus quotes you said you're gonna
see people who say you know Christ is
here or Christ is over there or come see
many false Christ's will appear and say
hey you got to come look over here I
found him you're gonna know you're gonna
know and so you can go within even and
have your own encounter with God with
Christ with the Holy Spirit and if we
look at just a perfect example
you know Paul and Silas and all the
other disciples who were locked up they
were in prison and had a piece that
surpassed all understanding because they
knew their connection with God they
didn't have to get to the altar they
didn't have to find their leaders and
elders they knew that wherever they went
they carried the presence of God with
them much like the symbolic for the Ark
of the Covenant is that there's this box
or this vehicle that's carried around
that the presence of God dwelled within
and that's us that the scripture says
plainly that that the you know that you
are the temple of God and that the
Spirit of God does not dwell in temples
made with hands but you are that temple
then it's Spirit of God dwells within
you oh we don't hear that quoted a
church while we always feel like Church
is a place that we go to versus
something that we are living epistles
the Word made flesh even us we become
that word and it's always about putting
your face and putting your hope and
something else selling you hope keep you
coming by
for more verses that you have everything
within you to you know change the world
to be you know Christ you know I'm
saying on the on the earth and you're
the only Bible that some people will
ever see and you know it's so weird that
uh you know you just kind of check it
off your list that you go to church or
you're involved with something and then
when you fall upon hard times or you ask
those bigger questions you see how
shallow or ankle-deep it was when you
thought it was this camaraderie that
would never leave you never forsake you
behold you know new friends that would
stick close to stick to you closer than
a brother and you find out that those
relationships and those intimate
conversations with brothers were own it
was only skin-deep you know and to
absolutely start asking questions or you
start moving outside the box well you
know it's interesting man is like you
know in the in the Eastern religions
they they have the the word namaste
right which is you know the divine and
me honors the divine in you so now of
course we don't use that here but
nonetheless I mean there's a principle
there that should be practiced within
Christianity that is look you know we
talked about people having a personal
relationship with Jesus but that's not
what's wanted
what's wanted is conformity really what
we should be saying is this is what
God's doing in me what is he doing in
you and then being able to honor that
not feel threatened if he's leading you
in a direction that he's not leading me
and that's where the idea of gnosis
comes from divine knowledge that that is
personal to you and if my divine
knowledge and this is gonna sound a
little relative and I understand that
but if my divine knowledge and my
personal convictions leads me in one
direction and your divine knowledge and
personal conviction is leading you in
another direction I don't need to
conform you to what I believe in I need
to allow you to discover those things on
your own because that's what
spirituality is all about discovering
what God is doing within instead of all
this conformity man I don't think that
that's what Jesus intended at all
everybody be exact
like this could cookie cutter you know
type of individual but instead I think
there was supposed to be some levels of
diversity now I understand there's gonna
be similar ideas and beliefs and I mean
personally I believe in a literal
resurrection I know some people don't
I personally believe in the like the
infilling of the Holy Spirit I know some
people don't but those are things that I
I feel very strongly about and I think I
experienced I believe I experienced the
Living God yeah I believe I'm
experiencing a divine presence within me
that speaks to me that leads me that
guides me teaches me that gives me those
promptings yeah if that makes sense yeah
I mean Jude you know Jesus said
according to your faith they shall be
given unto you according to your faith
nothing shall by any means be impossible
to you what is that nothing who is to
define that nothing I think the
scripture said a great precedent for
what that nothing is which it was
beautiful and great things and
encounters with angels and casting out
demons and walking in consciousness and
things like that so the different levels
of that nothing or that different level
of faith we have faith to believe God
for greater things and so somebody's
face because of what's relevant to them
of things that they've researched things
that they've read things that they're
believing God for they're gonna see it
according to their face we might not
have any any you know idea of what's
going on in their mind according to
their faith we don't know what that is
and we see in the scriptures some of
them had dead children you know raising
the dead casting out demons all types of
miracles in the scripture says that if
you believe these signs shall follow
them that believe that you have a level
of faith to do that and to walk in that
enough I've noticed because like in
Christianity you you want to kind of
like conform or convert everybody to
believe what you believe even with the
the little offshoots of Christianity or
the different denominations it's like
not just be a Christian not just believe
in cry
but believe that if you don't pay tithes
you'll be cursed to believe in that you
know speaking in you have to speak in
tongues to be born again like these
weird little you know sex well hey
you're doing it right but what about
this and you trying to split people up
and kind of breaking it down to get them
to repeat the same things or a belief
system that you're saying at the end of
the day it really is about you I'm
saying validation for what you believe
like I need you to say that you agree
with me to validate what I believe
because I'm kind of not sure really deep
down I know I believe it but I'm not
sure so it's like this weird validation
but when you understand that you're
already validated by God and your
experiences and your encounters or
whatever you don't need anybody to pat
you on the back or you know give you an
applause or whatever the case is and you
find that God is willing to deal with
you and willing to deal with anyone
according to their faith now we've seen
some crazy things in the spirit I've had
some crazy encounters but I was looking
for those encounters I was believing God
for those encounters and they happened
and other people have strange encounters
as well but they have a level of faith
where they were looking for it and
expecting it and by hearing the word
reading the scriptures even this obscure
scriptures in the Bible that people
don't even know exist or don't know how
to interpret it once you dig into that
faith cometh by hearing hearing by the
Word of God it builds our faith to be
able to expect an angelic encounter we
see Paul leaving his body traveling to
the third heaven or taking his body with
them is that possible today imma believe
God and just try it see if it happens
people are having all types of
encounters trance state words of
knowledge words of wisdom divine
miracles and healings and crazy stuff
because they believe it if you don't
believe it you're not going to receive
it my expectation brings about my
manifestation and it's so true and we
hear it in the church but Eckhart Tolle
and a lot of these other mystics and
people who don't even claim to be
Christians they can go into a lot of
detail about the mind about how faith
works about how once you believe that
you create
and you experience it you call it into
your life and so these other people have
a more eloquent way of of proving this
stuff and we talked about even on your
show it like it proves the Bible for me
you know that if we believe it we
receive it and all of this stuff with
the law of attraction and the power of
the mind and things like that you know
dude I it's so funny man because I
Christianity as we know it today is like
I said completely castrated I mean
there's just absolutely no fertility to
it at all
but I was listening to Eckhart Tolle the
other day and he was talking about your
primary purpose in the world is your
your inner purpose your discovery of the
divine within you and when you begin to
fill your primary purpose right
discovering God within then your
secondary purpose which is your function
in the world will sort of take care of
itself and I'm thinking wow that sounds
a lot like a guy who said seek first the
kingdom of God and His righteousness and
all these things will be added to you so
it's funny when you hear some of these
Eastern that maybe have more of an
Eastern persuasion to them but as
they're talking the Scriptures are just
like oh my god this guy is just
practically quoting the Bible without
giving you know chapter and verse but
yeah dude
people need to expand a little bit and
open themselves up you know I was
watching some of your stuff where you
were talking about angels and this was a
while ago this was during what I mean
I'm still transforming but yeah you were
talking about angels and I was like I
don't know man that seems kind of weird
to me you know and then I started
thinking about the Bible you know you'll
entertain angels unaware well what does
that mean you know and if you can
entertain them unaware what about in
your awareness there you go what about
opening yourself up to hey what you know
what what am I missing out on here
because you see it all through the
scripture an angel shows up and tell
somebody to do this or to do that well
we don't have those experiences anymore
because like what you said
we shut that off we shut that down we
don't believe it you don't believe the
Bible really today yeah this I mean but
there are people who are you know in the
people who are not having those
encounters they have to kind of they
have to change their doctrine in their
belief system to figure out why they
aren't and because they aren't then I
said well it's not for today or that
stuff doesn't happen there's no
spirituality in Christianity anymore
with a lot of these different you know
definitely with you I'm saying the
Reformed Christian who were really big
into the you don't saying John Wesley
totally guys and so they're like really
big into it so they have to explain away
why they're not having an angelic
encounter why they're not having
experiences continued experiences with
Christ or in the spirit why aren't they
have it at why aren't they seeing
miracles and the dead raised or just you
know a divine encounter so because they
don't believe it they have to change
their doctrine and theology and fight
against the people who are having it but
people who people are having crazy
experiences the universe is a very weird
thing the way the mind works and our
experiences and reality and whatever
you're seeking you're gonna find I mean
the Scriptures tell you that if you seek
me you shall find me whatever you seek
you're gonna find and that goes for
spirituality that goes for everything
wealth poverty if you're looking for the
evil in everything you're gonna find it
I have people that watch this this
interview in these podcast and they
don't look at me they don't hear nothing
I'm saying they may see some tattoos and
they see a some type of geometric
pattern in the background and they say
oh it's he's a Mason was like that's
what cuz that's what they were looking
for yeah most of the stuff you can't
even see you have to like look for the
details whatever you're looking for
you're gonna find you start studying
about the Masons and secret societies
you're gonna see them everywhere you're
gonna be looking at handshakes people
are doing you're gonna be looking at the
different symbols and the architecture
and things like that and your mind your
training your mind to see this stuff
everywhere and it's the same thing about
you know that's what the secret's
talking about that's what the law of
attraction is talking about and I've
kind of used those principles and
quoted in a scripture because it's there
there's a reason why the Word of Faith
Movement and the prosperity movement and
the secret are like word for word like
there it's there but using it for
blessings using it for healings and
miracles and the things that you want to
do for your life and start expecting it
but we everywhere we used to go back in
the day when this stuff was very new to
us even in Christianity was like we'd go
to a meeting and we'd ask God to use us
God give us a word for somebody let me
have a word that that will transform
their life what would you say to these
people I know you're thinking about him
God what would you say allow me to to
pick up on what you're saying and we'd
go in there even that prayer and that
mindset had us looking everybody wasn't
doing that we were our minds were
trained to receive what God would say
and many times God would whisper
something in our ear and say hey tell
him I love him tell him I haven't forgot
about them tell him you know that they
got a new job that's on the way whatever
it is and according to that circumstance
situation it was given unto us because
of our faith yeah man I think one of the
things for me is you know if you if you
really well you talked about some of the
reformed guys and and I have some
friends good friends that are reformed
but yeah I got a huge problem with that
movement you really a lot of good
friends because of that even in
Christianity not without anything
esoteric or mystical just because that
movement like my friends just like
absolutely well it's a that's a weird
thing dude I could I could go off on
that but I'll I won't but I think it's
kind of dangerous you know to assume
that you have all the information all
the knowledge you know there's a guy
named pseudo-dionysius and he's from you
know the early early Christianity and he
said knowing or what they called agnosia
which means it's not the ignorance it's
not the absence of knowledge but it's
understanding that I I don't understand
who God is
I'm finite he's infinite and so his work
his his power his ability
whom he is is beyond my understanding
completely which is what the scripture
says so all my experiences can be
outside of my understanding as well like
you know I feel like I'm supposed to
turn down this road I don't know why
this doesn't make sense well maybe
that's the Holy Spirit and maybe there's
a reason for that
yeah instead of everything having to fit
in a perfect you know equation you know
there was a guy and I think his I think
it was Rob Bell I can't remember but
whenever he said he said whenever God is
spelled out nice neat lines were no
longer dealing with God we're dealing
with something completely different
yeah right yeah definitely when we look
at Jesus like Jesus obeying you I'm
saying the voice of his father when
Jesus was to heal people like there was
a guy who was blind and he spit in the
mud and he got down there and he spit in
the dirt he made mud and he put the mud
in their eyes you know yeah and and he
was able to see like I don't know if
there's any magic in the mud like I
don't know if that like spitting in hid
in the mud and putting it together like
heals people or fixed the cataracts or
whatever I don't know if there's any
magic to that but it's something about
stepping out in faith and believing that
you have to do something that's not
normal you have to kind of do something
that's not ordinary that not everybody
else is doing the deep calls unto deep
and I'm sure people tried to imitate
that and maybe nobody got healed because
Jesus did it but there was other things
that they did and other moves of God and
and stuff like that to happen but it's
usually doing something different that
goes outside of the box and just when
you think you have it all figured out
you know you're there you're there left
with more questions and I know that and
I know a lot but I'm just scratching the
surface man I've experienced a lot and
there's more revelation and more stuff
that comes out there I'm not even
seeking it for the most part like I'm
not just like get me in the counter give
me the counter I would feel like a
spoiled brat to continue doing that with
everything that I've seen and everything
I've experienced so um but I'm out but
at the same time us I still welcome it
just that that you're following god
through synchronicities being able to
close my eyes and breathe
feel his spirit overtake my body and
just move me and confirm God he doesn't
have to like move mountains and do
miracles he still does but it's a more
but early on like it's almost like a
relationship when you have with the
lover you're doing everything you
opening the car door you take off your
jacket and lay it in a mud puddle and
say hey you know I've prepared a you
know a blanket and and and you know you
know I'm saying in a picnic and all this
kind of stuff you're doing all these
things to kind of whew that person and I
feel like God does that for us early on
with miracles and being led from miracle
and and from miracle America or from
glory to glory just to show you what he
can do you know if if you need them to
do it and it's not like that they don't
I don't have them I just don't chase
them there was a time where I chased it
and I want it to see and now that I know
that all that stuff's real it still it
helps me to move it helps me to
articulate and so when it comes time for
healing when it comes time for prayer
when it comes time for encounter my mind
is already shaped that I know that we're
going to I know that my expectation
brings about my manifestation and it's
all throughout the scriptures and people
being healed in trying but in trying to
articulate that and share that with
people to help them raise their level of
consciousness to a higher vibration
where they understand that you know they
have access to the same things that that
I do or Jesus did you know and so for
the spirit moving you and guiding you
those who talk about being the sons and
daughters of God the Bible says that
those who are led by the Spirit of God
are the sons and daughters of God and
then throughout the New Testament we see
the spirit waking the disciples up
pulling them into trances and giving
them dreams and visions and all of these
type of things and even Jesus on their
journey this Holy Spirit told them don't
go into that city there's a mob there
waiting to kill you guys if you go there
this is the end of the journey go around
it's gonna take longer but go around and
you're gonna you're gonna make it there
and so they would spirit would wake them
up and tell them these things and spirit
still does that with us you talking
about turned down this road so give that
person 20 bucks pay for that person's
meal whatever it is this is the fact
you're able to hear the voice of the
Holy Spirit moving you guiding you and
leading you into all truth dude I think
there's a you know think about this
there's a there's a section of scripture
where Jesus says to his disciples who do
people say that I am and they're like
yeah yeah John the Baptist this guy says
this this guy says that and then he says
well who do you who do you say that I am
and Peter says you are the Messiah son
of the Living God and Jesus says to
Peter flesh and blood hasn't revealed
this to you
flesh and blood meaning nobody told you
this you didn't read this this wasn't a
prophecy from the Old Testament that you
logically figured out so there was no
there was no logic in that there was no
doctrine in that and what was in that
was the fact that he said flesh and
blood didn't reveal this to you what
revealed this to you was my father in
heaven so what you have here is Peter
experiencing or practicing this thing
that we call gnosis right divine
knowledge and the reason that I bring
that up and the reason that I say that
that's important is because Peter
discovers who Jesus is not based on his
past teachings not based on that he was
looking for a prophecy to be fulfilled
Peter knows who Jesus is completely
based on gnosis a word from God that's
how he knows who Jesus is and Jesus says
blessed are you that you received this
divine knowledge blessed are you that
God the Father spoke to you and told you
who it is that I am so I think it's cool
because we don't practice that anymore
we think like we talked about earlier
and I'm not trying to come down on the
Bible but like we talked about earlier
Sola scriptura everything's got to be in
the Bible or I don't believe it you know
the the Bible is God's Word he said that
settles it well how do you move how do
you move in the spirit how do you
understand the things of God and most of
us don't even understand the Bible
crystals are
the Bible rules are in the Bible
Transcendental Meditation is in the
Bible you know we could call it astral
projection I don't know what it is but
Paul somehow he's comfortable with the
fact that he may have left his body he's
coming with the fact that he doesn't
even know it was so power that's right
wild if you think about I don't know
yeah whether I was in the body or out of
but I don't know so what does that mean
at some point in time he must have felt
he was out of his body in the past and
had a similar experience yeah because
now he's telling you I don't know if I
was in it out know if I was out of it
but I know I was somewhere else well
dude man if you were to go into a modern
orthodox church and start talking about
a man I might have left my body and
traveled to another realm man you'd be
out so fast your head it's been you know
we don't we don't do those interesting
gnosis spiritual things yeah or a lot of
people don't yeah I mean man I'm trying
to really dive into some of that like
dude I saw I went to a workshop on on
crystals right man some of my listeners
are gonna hear this and lose it but I
worked on crystals and they took up they
took a plate and they took just a
room-temperature crystal and and said an
ice cube on the plate and set an ice
cube on the crystal man that ice cube
melted on that crystal like that dude
and and I'm not saying that means
something but something's going on there
there's an energy there there's
something happening that caused that and
I want to know what that is I want to
know what's happening there so I think
that there's things outside of even our
comfort zone that we need to if we want
to experience God yeah and the fullness
of this incredible universities created
and the laws of that universe you talk
about Law of Attraction you're gonna
have to dive it outside of or move
outside of what the churches as you know
yeah I told you as normal and what's not
normal you're gonna be led to Christie
Stern mysticism
you got to look into Buddhism you're
gonna be led to look into Hinduism
because you're gonna find out that
Christianity did not start in the West
there's Christianity that we have today
looks nothing like biblical Christianity
and so there's this you know we talked
about on your show again but there's
this this notion to return to the
ancient path return to the ancient path
and that's always been my prayer and my
pursuit is to find Christianity before
it got tainted by the Reformation it
wasn't the Reformation that time but now
like before the Reformation but before
Catholicism before the Catholic Church
or whatever and then you look at it and
what they're doing in the East looks a
lot like Christianity where did Jesus go
to pray and meditate he went into a cave
or on top of a mountain who goes into on
the top of a mountain and into caves for
a prolonged period of times to pray or
meditate there's a people who still do
that it's not Christians who does that
the Hindus they do that we look at and
this is crazy this is out there but uh
look at um you know Jesus when he goes
to the top of the mountain the Mount of
Transfiguration he brings two people
with them and he's up there his clothing
his hair everything he changes he takes
another form and they see him meeting
with was that our Moses and Elijah I
believe it was I think they show up and
he's having a conversation with them
those are like his spirit guides talking
to him is it Peter and James I believe
it is and I think one more that actually
went up the mountain and they seen this
and they wrote about it he begged them
to come with him and and and have this
elongate at times in prayer they would
fall asleep maybe they didn't know what
he was doing but I feel like we kind of
got a camera crew to kind of go up there
for the first time to see what Jesus was
doing during his his 8-hour prayer times
or Hebrew yeah all day or he'd go along
he'd go away for different periods to
pray and we got to see what he was doing
and
that's only showing us one time but it's
that one time that we got to see what he
was doing and and he was being
ministered to by the dead Saints of old
that showed up now there are people that
believe in the east that your elders
your ancestors the one who trained you
up in righteousness and taught you that
they stay in communication with you from
beyond the grave that they're still
there and you can call upon them you can
have meetings with them we see we look
in the scripture as well you know samuel
was called from beyond the grave right
and so something that that's able to
happen we see that a pitcher in
Christianity I'm not saying that that's
a practice it only happened one time but
you start asking questions
you saw hold on how many times does this
happen can I do it you know and then you
find out people are so-called doing it
even in Christianity but that's a
practice from the east and it's hidden
within mysticism and it's hidden within
Star Wars and things like that and they
they put the truth in all these obscure
places and uh you know I don't know I
haven't had those encounters but I know
people who claim that they have man
outside of the outside of the the cross
and the blood of Jesus teaching almost
all of Jesus's teachings line up exactly
with Buddhism in Hinduism you know you
know that can offend people are not
offend people that's fine
check it out for yourself you will see
and I've said this on other podcasts the
words of Jesus line up very nicely with
those Eastern ideas I mean yeah they're
there so they're they almost mirror each
other but you know an interesting thing
too dude I mean the book of Revelation I
mean that whole thing came from a
transcendental situation yeah that whole
thing is you know I mean that is that is
John seeing some crazy stuff man
in an altered state of reality you can
call it what you want to and maybe
you're comfortable with it because it's
in the Bible but that's that was a
practice dude that's something those
disciples
as a practice to hear and receive from
God and and we should be doing that too
in my opinion yeah definitely I mean if
we want to be christ-like if it was good
for him if he did it that's always been
my pursuit to find out what they were
doing and do it I don't want nothing
extra I don't want nothing new I don't
want no new revelation I don't want you
know something brand new I want a
revival man of what they had of the
ancient past I want a revival of the
ancient past the ancient ancient way and
figuring out what that was because we
don't know we're finding glimpses and
pieces of it even in Christianity you
know what I'm saying and so it's so deep
and it's so beautiful and it's there for
you and according to your face how deep
you want to go it's there if you just
want to go to church on Sunday morning
and get lost in a static worship you can
do that it's there for you if you want
to go deep if you want to take it with
you but you're not going to be satisfied
with the status quo in that seeking
process you're gonna figure out man we
got you're gonna you're gonna be led to
the other sources because once you once
you have these encounters you're gonna
figure out that you know it looks
nothing like you know Sunday morning I
remember one of the like I'm fasting and
praying in a seeking God in the spirit
and if we get ready and go to church to
have an encounter right we're fasting
all week or all weekend and Sunday
morning calms me ready to go tap into
the spirit and hear the gospel and hear
a word preached and I remember going to
church and there was an illustrated
sermon for the week you are under
construction God is doing a work within
you I said okay and they had to hold
they had a yellow tape police line do
not cross they had like construction
stuff all over the church and spent
thousands of dollars on this Illustrated
sermon they had posters the pastor is
wearing a hard hat a yellow vest and
he's got a hammer in his jeans you know
hey we were construction crew we're
under construction now I get it you know
and then the the Deacons all the little
old men 80's 90's year old old men
helping you get seated all the Deacons
they had the Deacons all wearing yellow
and orange vest and they had
owns on their head you know how you come
to kind of direct traffic all these
little old men had cones on their head
and I'm looking around I'm like what the
hell and I'm fasting and praying to the
spirit what the hell are we doing here
man what is going on you know and this
is silly man and I sit down and they
hand me the the you know the pamphlet
about what's you know what's gonna
happen and you can read it 10 o'clock
worship 10:45 offering another song a
video but from missions sermon altar
call and you're just watching a service
and you're just watching the service and
as not by any means what they had in the
scriptures it looked nothing like that
that we became you know used to it
became the norm to have these weird to
go to a service and I just I just I
didn't I didn't I didn't come to Christ
in at a service I came to him at a
prayer meeting and you know I'm saying
in the midst of desperation and and in
the churches it's where two or more
gathered in God the spirit of God is
flowing in between and he can use
everyone he gives someone a song he gets
someone a testimony he gives someone
this to give someone that and the Spirit
of God just moving in a small group
usually and and you know that's what I'm
that's what I got born again in and I
kind of you know got tired of the whole
corporate weird thing then you got a
lineup with doctrines the more you study
the more you figure out hey what these
guys are telling me it's not in the
Bible it doesn't line up with Scripture
and I'm just supposed to sit here and
smile and you know bite my tongue
because I want to say something I have a
hunger for truth and I've given my life
to follow this these scriptures or God
in general and the stuff y'all was
saying it's putting people in bondage
it's not in the scriptures but I have to
sit here and bite my tongue but yet
there's something wrong with me you know
and so that's where we're not alone yeah
that's why your podcast is doing good
growing and seeing numbers and the same
with this one is that there's a lot more
people who were having that encounter or
having those experiences in church and
they're asking the bigger questions
they're asking you know they're whatten
and now with technology they're watching
documentaries they're what they're
seeing
fake Facebook posts by their friends who
were mystics or whatever and it's just
stuff starting to make sense
they started Rolanda maybe the ancient
path is being made straight before them
and they don't even know it
they just seen glimpses of it like man I
know he's got some crazy stuff but that
what he's talking about there that
sounds legit you know people starting to
ask those questions and they need a
beacon man they need somebody to talk to
and so that's why I'm sure your podcast
exists and this one does as well yeah
man that is the hardest part I think you
know for me when I was the last church i
pastored I was lead pastor and it was
the same thing man you know time to get
in and there's time to get out and you
were trying to hit those markers you
know yeah and then all the money you
know all that money dude just trying to
pay bills and and just up the whole
politics of it and I can remember
driving to church on Sunday mornings man
and I'd be driving past these little
cafes and people eating breakfast and
thinking count I wish I was going there
instead of this hellhole you know really
and and you're right man the doctrines
got a line up the words got to be
correct you say something wrong then or
something that someone perceives to be
wrong now you got to explain it and it
wasn't life affirming for me at all so
when I left that though there was this
void of like okay I have all these
questions but but there aren't there
isn't anybody you know that's providing
away yeah which is why I saw I think
I've must be on your email list or
something out remember now but I saw
that the thing that you put together
about the passages in the Bible that
come from other writings the one that
you were talking about yeah introduction
and I thought wow that that is cool that
is something to get a hold of because it
begins to open your mind to the reality
that this little
box I've created that I call
Christianity yeah isn't Christianity at
all this is somebody else's idea and
that's something too man is I think a
lot of people got to sit back and say
what ideas have been superimposed on me
yeah you mentioned earlier that a lot of
the reasons why people want to hear
these same truths over and over and over
is because they don't really believe
them their self it's okay to sit back
everyone so I'll go man why do I believe
this because deep down this doesn't
resonate with me yeah when you're
building a church when you're building a
cult when you're building up you know a
business we're building anything you're
trying to get followers like you got to
have all the answers even if you don't
know you have to pretend like you do and
just give you some some you know I'm
saying BBS response to something that
they have no idea you're not gonna you
know you're not gonna gain followers by
saying you don't know you know and uh
you know it just comes with the
territory if someone really wants to
know how to even these crazy questions
people come up with and how do I contact
the Orion Council of light true seeker
how do I do it I know you talk about
Orion you talk about aliens how about
angels how do I do that I don't know bro
I've never done it I don't know if it's
I don't know and so they'll find they'll
go to someone that'll tell them what
they want to hear there's a there's a
youtuber out there who will tell you how
to do that
all right they're telling you the truth
but they'll tell you and so I used to
get mad at the preachers right because
y'all know this stuff is wrong and y'all
are still teaching it or whatever but
then again it's the people man the
people have an itch and ears have found
these teachers they pay these people
money every week because they're telling
them what they want to hear yeah they're
paint they're paying creflo dollar to
tell them that stuff they're paying you
know Mike Murdock to tell them these
things they want to get rich and they so
I usually get mad at the preachers and
like try to you know come at them and do
expose videos and I'd wrap a bottom in
my music and call their names out and
it's like look man these people love
these people they're paying them for a
reason because they have itchy ears and
they're telling me what they want to
hear so you got to have the answers if
you're trying to build an organization
and that's why
all of these different sects of
Christianity all the denominations fight
amongst one another you know and I say
you know you go to that church man that
pastor man he I heard him say this or
that past a curse this man he cursed my
friend out and you know you have to tell
him something to kind of go against
their character and to try to win them
over to your church or your belief
system and even the wars within the
religions are even broken down within
the denomination as well you know I'll
tell you one of the things that really
that that my congregation didn't like
well when I had a congregation when I
went the last church i pastored we had
Wednesday night and I decided it was
just going to be a conversation I wasn't
gonna lead them in a direction I was
gonna tell them what what I thought was
right and man at first like the first
time and it was cool the second time I
could see they were getting annoyed and
slowly man you saw him like I mean I
remember one lady said well tell me what
I believe about this and I'm like man
how Beth that's not the way it works I
can't tell you what you believe you got
to find that stuff out for yourself but
so many people you're right they they
don't want to do that just tell me what
I need to know and let me go on with my
life but that's not an experience with
God that's an experience with something
weird you know I guess a theology or a
club absolutely and if you deviate
you're not in the club or if you don't
dance if you don't pay your dues I've
seen a video where this church a little
small hole in the wall Church it was a
black church and there was this old lady
who had been paying ties for years she's
been in the church for thirty years or
something
she quit paying her tires they kicked
her out the church yeah she wasn't
paying dues you're not part of the $50
$200,000 per line and it would literally
make people at a church service get in a
certain line a prophetic word is you
know three hundred dollars and if you
get in this line and just the way that
it goes I know it takes money to run a
business I know it takes money to run a
ministry to pay for the lighting but the
fact that you're lying to people
and you're bending the truth and using a
Bible to do it that's witchcraft man it
relaxes well and I'll tell you what man
I mean that the reality is that's all
that exoteric type of thing I tell me
what I need to know let me be a part of
something that's bigger than me and all
that kind of thing and and that's not a
relationship with God and that's not
that's not the ancient path that you're
talking about I mean dude people run all
over the place to have an experience
with God they'll run all over the
country they'll follow you know your
Benny Hinn's and your I don't even know
who's out there anymore because I know
right yeah yeah yeah I don't want to be
a part of it and and I guess for some of
those people I just want to know well
why don't you like go after it yourself
why don't you meditate or call it in
template of Prayer call it whatever you
want but why don't you go and let the
divine envelop you instead of chasing it
outside of you why don't you find it
within yourself you know like you said
Paul said to stir up the gift within you
no no I
yeah I'm the Temple of the Living God
tire thing there's I mean it just works
for whatever you're looking for we're
looking for that and there's people who
are looking for that they'll try it
they'll be blessed right but then
there's other people who were scared and
they're looking at the only thing that
sticks out to them is the warnings and
the scary stuff so you're talking about
to go within or Paul said there's no
there's nothing good within me why do I
want to look within myself
there's nothing good in me and they'll
have these scriptures and their mind is
trained that if and I know Christians I
did a video on it it's laughable to the
spiritual community but for the
Christian community they believe if you
meditate you'll get possessed by demons
yeah to fathom that the God of all
creation that said that you are
fearfully and wonderfully made that if
you sit down be quiet and try to filter
out the noise in your head quit thinking
about what you're gonna do this weekend
think quit thinking about the pile of
laundry that's sitting in at the edge of
the bed you know
quit thinking about all this stuff just
for a few minutes focus on God enter in
through the breath and just be quiet
they think you'll get demon-possessed if
you get all the thoughts out of your
head if you quiet down they hurt they've
heard quotes like what's that the devil
likes loves an idle mind or idle time
and stuff like that they have these
weird little superstitions it's not
spirituality you you're not spiritual
you're superstitious you have all these
beliefs that's prohibiting you to really
experiencing the God it's experiencing
God the way Jesus did the way the
disciples did in this place of intimacy
there and and they've just given
everything to the new age they've given
everything to the Spiritualist they've
given everything to the Wiccans to the
Satanist or whatever they let them have
those encounters you know man dude that
is absolutely true
that is that is profound because you're
right yeah and it's funny because like
with the New Age movement so many of the
practices that they have come directly
from the Bible and they'll even tell you
you know that they got they kind of got
a different view I mean Christianity for
the most part is fear-based
and if you're gonna live in fear you're
gonna have a hard time experiencing
whole life much less the spirit and the
things of the Spirit you can't go around
being afraid of that man I mean I I know
that feeling and I've been there and
I've done that but I don't know dude
that that being afraid of being
possessed by the devil I mean over
everything everything man weather just
get yeah yup you got a jack-o'-lantern
in your house or or you know you know
people are bring and and there's some
truth to all of that stuff you know I'm
saying but it's about you have these
weird boundaries and I know I know the
boundaries exist because people have a
delicate delicate faith you know they
don't want to lose that they have to
protect it with all that they can
because they've seen Satan at play
they've seen you know I'm saying
darkness they've been there they've been
at the you know a hell's doorstep
essentially right and so they want to
protect it with everything no scary
movies
no no alcohol no you become a hermit you
know just you and church God and church
them all of the ears a bunch of zealous
people out there and that's all they do
you know and I understand why they do it
you know I'm saying but it doesn't make
it right you know it doesn't mean that
they're right if you're if you're Jesus
tells us not to be pushed around or
persuaded by Jesus or Paul five
misquoting but by every wind of doctrine
that comes out there right right now any
wind any demon any influence you're
gonna be influenced by there's people
who are these people who are chameleons
everybody they hang around and that
we've been there probably I've
definitely been there or hang around a
group of people we start talking like
them we start acting like them we you
know and we start becoming into the
things that they're into so that's why
we have to stay away from them or we
have to stay away from those who are
asking questions or questioning the past
or questioning the man of God because
then we'll start doing it and we're
entertaining this kind of stuff I want
to read this quote here from somebody in
the chat this is from bear witness says
the church I used to ten would send out
the annual donation statement for your
taxes and circle and circle all the
months in red where you didn't donate
and they would write little question
marks beside it where you didn't donate
they want to have a reason a reason why
you didn't donate that's crazy man yeah
that's insane and so money money we need
money right we have to operate this this
podcast doesn't exist the light doesn't
exist the internet doesn't exist without
support without funding don't have to
lie to you right and that's one thing
these churches should do is not lie and
say you know God's gonna bless you if
you give make sure he wants you to give
your last little bit reach down and give
it you know and that's what they do be
honest about him and let people know
because this doesn't exist without
funding and help right I'm sure but it's
when they start bending the truth and
telling you that stuff we went to a
church one time man and we were going to
be doing some music there and every time
we did a concert I would always rally
the guys who were with us and we'd fast
and pray these are that weekend or that
day
the whole day we wouldn't eat until
after the concert or whatever just
expecting God to move up even that just
like you know we talked about retraining
the mind it's okay God's gonna show up
if I don't do this who knows but I
believed it and I received it and with
the way my mind worked and that's for
everybody whatever you believe but we
wouldn't eat and so we're more sensitive
you know we got there
all of our friends were there and that's
what I'm feeling it I was looking
forward to ministering I was looking
forward to sharing but I just wasn't
feeling it and we get in there
friend of mines doing worship I got
other gospel rappers that I booked they
were gonna be with us this little hot
smoke a small hole in the wall Church
and um
I'm kind of like looking within like man
why can't I press into worship while all
my friends with their hands raised in
their eyes closed tapping in and it's
something with me like what am i what's
the deal is I'm like God what is it and
I'm praying and I can't figure nothing
out and I just felt like it's just
something's off with me or whatever and
then so we're praying I'm getting in a
scripture I'm reading I'm just trying to
press in man and I can't do it and then
finally it would come time to take up
the offering at this church the lady
gets up there it's a woman pastor and
she's up there she's all loud and hearty
and like talking about like operate unto
all the five gift sort of prophet
preacher teacher she's like this is
really weird lady and she's asking for
the offer and she gets one of her
deacons or whatever to come take the
offer and so I was gonna time to bless
the law without giving Amen and they
make you clap I said hey man come on now
you know y'all she y'all shouting for
this y'all shopping for the game we
can't shout about giving to God so they
make you feel happy about giving your
last $10 right so anyway he's up there
giving this spiel and he says uh I don't
want nothin smaller than a ten and
everybody laughs you know and I'm
laughing too I thought it's a joke just
kind of get the people to give and
people saw he wants you to bring your
money up that people are bringing
dollars and stuff and he looked at
somebody said naw I said nothing smaller
than a ten we meant that and he made
them take their money back as like Oh
God
so we had given all of our money like
because we came in a big group as guests
we gave all of our money to one of the
brothers who came with us you know one
of us had you know some handful of
change want to have $3 might have 5 20
whatever we took all of our money gave
us and he brought it up there the pastor
the woman pastor stood up no I need
y'all to bring it up here y'all get up
here and welcome here and put it on that
altar and that's where they just lay all
the money on the altar right and part of
that's even even the whole manipulation
cuz if you're sitting there with your
hands in your pocket and you're not up
front giving or you don't have your
envelope and you're checking your hand
let's prep you know how they want to
pray over it before the sermon we'll
hold it in your hand we're gonna ask God
to bless it ask God to multiply
everybody's got their hands raised with
the check our money and here you are you
know with your hands talk because you
don't have nothing to give and so that's
the way I'm not gonna give I used to do
I got to give something give me a dollar
yeah you know just so I'm not standing
out we're part of the group we're part
of them yeah Emily um anyway so they
bring it up there the lady say y'all
come up here and bring it we said man we
gave the money to brother firm and he
brought it okay I want to get a count on
it ma'am we gave him I get a count on it
she told the guy to go back there and
get a count on it so we will see let's
get a count I was like what is going on
and we're giving you hard-earned money
you're talking about you want to get a
count on it and make sure that we're
giving is like we're guests here you
know which ones we're giving you
something like we're performing and
giving music and entertainment for you
children at the youth and stuff but
going to all these churches man like
that was like a normal thing just these
weird out the box people or lemmings
they're following whatever they say they
do it you know it just got really weird
I was like man this is just crazy man
man we the the organization that I was
in which was Assemblies of God I'll tell
you our our for our license that we were
supposed to tithe to the district right
yeah and man every year you you just
know every year you'd get this letter
and it would just be basically this
letter saying
thanks for all your offerings are you
sure that you really gave as much as you
should have you know and and it's like
oh man are you kidding me you know you
want me to
it's just crazy man and I agree with you
you know I I was the pastor of a church
and we had a light bill and we had
insurance and we had you know all those
things water everything that we had to
pay for and and couldn't do it if you
didn't have the money but at the same
time man I I would have people that
would say hey I I'm either gonna tie
there pay my rent I really don't know
what to do summertime yeah God will take
care of them I could tell you personally
I mean I've been in that place but I
eventually got to the place where man
I'm not I'm not giving my money if I
don't if I don't have it if it rehabs
between living in a house or giving you
my money I'm gonna I'm gonna pay my
bills so you know we used to do without
because we were you know we were under
that doctrine where you know if you
didn't give then God would take it and
your car break down and then your you
know washing machine may break and we're
talking about retraining the mind my
expectation brings about my
manifestation on the negative side we
started looking for things to break
because we knew we weren't able to pay
tithes and we're like think man God's
gonna take his money I don't know what
it would be and our washing machine
breaks it were like damn god is mad at
us we gotta find a way to pay this money
literally God became the Mafia to come
to collect his money and they were okay
with us believe in that and then and
they may not have taught it like he's
gonna take it they may have just said it
in passing and they'll get so-and-so to
come up there and give a testimony and
yeah we wasn't given and my husband was
out of a job and that when we stepped
out in faith and gave that money God
sent us a ten thousand dollar check and
blessed him with in a you know a
brand-new job and someone gave us a car
and they're like oh they're trying to
build your faith to say hey he's doing
it for them if God did it for them he
could do it for you make sure you're
signing that check you know and all of
this stuff in his little symbolic thing
because some people say I've never seen
the tithing gone like that sometimes
it's not as in your face it's
subliminally that's when they're good
that it doesn't have to be in your face
that they can they can say it without
saying it you know what I'm saying
and a lot of people man that tithing
thing and it's it's gotten a lot of
people but it's one thing that a lot of
people wake up over they figure out hold
on you're quoting scripts you're quoting
these scriptures over me that have
nothing to do with me that was those
curses and stub your top up God putting
on people that's how the context the
context was the Levite priests I'm not a
Levi priests if anybody is a priests
over a household in a shepherd take
offerings and go smoke crack they were
the same night they would go preach out
a church they give them a love offering
they take that money and go buy crack
shoot though who the same night that you
know and so you have to be careful when
you're you know operating under that
office it's really you know sensitive
but you know people are putting those
curses on you that don't even and you
believe it you know it's retraining
taught that God's gonna get his money
God's gonna guess we went to a church
that and you the same thing he just said
man if I don't tithe man God's gonna get
his money you know he's gonna make the
car break down or I'm gonna get a flat
tire or whatever it is I'm gonna that I
oh god somehow he's gonna get his money
and do die I just land we started
writing down how much we owed every
month and eventually it was like you
know three months later wheel $500 you
know it's like man I was a pay god it's
like race it do we I pray and ask him to
let us start over and we'll try to get
it right next month or because there's
ministries that say you have to you have
to even it up but you got to even up you
got a I know you got to set it right I
remember listening to just a couple
years ago listening to Jimmy Swaggart if
we can't pay the tithe for the month we
write it down and we give it to next
month we done I like to double down when
I give God I double it down who got
money to double down we trying to keep
the lights trying to you know double
down or we
to give God you got everything else you
know you know so this is crazy man it is
man and and you know you can't i mean
honestly that this is the reality you
can't you can't love a god like that
yeah you can't you you you might say
that you do but the reality is you're
afraid of them i i think man the way
that we teach god honestly most most
people teach god is in any other context
in any other situation that would be an
abusive relationship if somebody told
you yeah my boyfriend said if i don't do
exactly what he said yeah he's gonna
he's gonna take my stuff and sell it for
his own purposes or he's gonna you know
essentially punish me physically and i'm
talking about Hell now I understand that
he's gonna do this to me if I don't do
exactly what he says he's gonna punish
me any any counselor worth anything
would say you got to get out of that
relationship you got to get out of that
that's dangerous yeah but we like we let
God do things that that we let God get
away with abuse that we wouldn't let
anybody else in the world get away with
and and that's what I mean I'll tell you
exactly what I said I said it to my wife
one day and you know some people don't
like whenever I share this but I said
man God just can't be that big of a dick
I mean I know that that's I know that's
a little crude but that is exactly the
way I felt
he cannot be this angry and mean yeah
and vindictive I just yeah he just can't
they some people even in chat they've
never heard these stories that's not
their encounter that's not their
experience and they said that they would
just walk out of a situation like that
that they would not stand there you
people like mob mentality is real like
that's legit the way people put up with
that a lot of them not all of them but a
lot of them their view of God comes from
their view with their parents yes was
your mom or dad
always
waiting for you to stumble with that
always or you were you always getting in
trouble did they ever spend time with
you and just hang out and just love on
you as a kid or did was you always just
in trouble with them and so that kind of
rolls over the the view that we have of
authority and the view that we have what
god we was always in trouble and now God
is always looking to punish us
he's always looking to you know I'm
saying point the finger at us and you
know those type of things and so for me
it was it didn't sit right because that
definitely became the relationship
because of the church but I I was drawn
to God in my relationship cultivated
with God from us from what I didn't have
from a parent who I didn't have from a
father God became a father unto the
fatherless like I started expressing
that so then when these other ideas
would come and they would seek in we
don't know any better we don't know to
question our church like we just assumed
that they have our best intentions in
mine and they're here to help us and
they know God in the spirit and they
would never lie or they would never do
something you know that they're not
supposed to and what we find out that
you know you know that they do and uh
that man yeah I mean you can't I think
and I and I hear what they're saying and
I've heard other stories where I thought
oh I'd never put up with that look
that kind of stuff kind of happen it's
like a it's like a mind control and it
happens over time and you'd be surprised
I mean I'm sure you did and I did I
accepted those things and then there
came a point in time when I realized hey
you know what this is crazy what's going
on here I got to get out of this but man
there was a long time dude where I I
absolutely believed God was going to get
his I I bought into it full a hundred
percent and it wasn't because I was
ignorant and and I realize now how
foolish it was but at the time I was
very entrenched and the influence was
very real the mob mentality was very
real for me
you know it you don't even know that's
why they've done a good job like we've
you have to stand up man you have to
stand up and be counted and any type of
relationship like you said man like he
was in a deuce of abusive relationship
they'd tell you to get out of it but
it's part of it um it's crazy but uh so
whenever you were you know coming out of
the church and stuff like that what was
uh you know your process as far as like
continuing your faith in Christ and and
I'm saying cultivating that as well when
you're leaving the church because a lot
of people it's sad and that's kind of
why this podcast exists too is the fact
that you can come out of the church
without you can leave the church and
find Jesus right because well the time
he's not even there to begin with yeah
absolutely I mean man when I left when
we stopped going to church and I left
the ministry and all that there was a
time where I just needed to relax and I
did that but then there came a time of
okay you know where am I going to go
from here
and what do I believe and what do i what
do I know to be real and it was a
struggle for a while man and I even kind
of flirted with atheism a little bit you
know do I even believe in God anymore
and I can I came to the point where I
thought yeah you know what I do believe
in God I started studying like the
operatic fathers and those are some of
the church fathers who basically said
look there's a lot of things we don't
know about God we're never gonna know
about God we've got to we've got to get
comfortable with certainty or
uncertainty but man honestly dude I a
lot of a lot of the podcasts like your
podcast and others those things were
real help to me because I realized okay
there's other people out there yeah that
are feeling exactly what I'm feeling
going through exactly what I'm going
through and they're not unsaved
quote-unquote they still believe and
over time you realize that a lot of
those people are even now I don't wanna
say better believers but but their faith
is actually stronger than those that are
sitting underneath the typical church
house type mentality but it was a
struggle you know I I didn't know what I
believed and I didn't know what I
thought about God I knew I was angry I
was upset with the church I was upset
with God I was upset with life
it was definitely a struggle and there
was some soul-searching in there but
honestly man I I think you know a lot of
people when they leave sometimes they
slide into atheism and they never come
back yeah I looked at that for a while
and I thought no you know what I I do
believe in God
I absolutely believe he exists and so I
you know I turned that back in the
direction of God and opened my heart to
him and and I don't go to church today
man I haven't been to church in a long
time but I very much love God in the
last time he's got or tried to go did
have you just wasn't just one and done
and you were just out or did you ever
did you ever try to go there and be like
god I feel like I can't do this
here there were times we would try to go
and it just got really really really
weird yeah it just seems so foreign to
me and like I was accepted in loved and
now I'm here as an outcast or whatever
it was just really just a whole
perception of everything well for me we
were pretty much one and done I got
asked to preach at a church and accepted
and then backed out yeah you know and I
was I was asked to speak at a at a
conference and it was a it was basically
a Christian rock type conference but
when I got to the place man it was a
very much a church mentality you know
worship service offering and it's just
like oh man I do not want to be here you
know I spoke but it was awkward I
realized that the things I'd been
talking about with my friends I couldn't
bring that into this setting you know
because yeah people were just giving me
a look like I don't get what do you mean
you don't under there's things you're
not certain about what are you talking
about
you know I could tell it just it was
like pearls before swine type of thing
and yeah and then I did a wedding I've
done a couple of weddings and that's
always real awkward to stand in a pulpit
it just feels like
man I don't belong here this is not you
know and to walk into a church now man
and to see the giving board on the wall
and the pews and everything it's just
like it's repulsive to me now yeah to be
honest with you yeah definitely man I
can't do it I was um I had a friend of
mine a really close friend who's kind of
stuck with me through all of my stuff
and I used to try to like tell him stuff
that I believed that was outside of the
not even outside of the Bible in the
Bible you know I would show him things
in the Bible and he would like what
about this man now now what do you think
about me as like brush it's kind of
weird but I still love you you know that
kind of stuff
a good friend of my ese 115 Samuel
McCray but um he uh a couple of things
man he had a UH he was leaving town so
he's gonna do his last concert at this
church or whatever wanted me to go and
then he wanted me to perform with them
on stage and I'm like oh my god these
people know who I am you know I said
well you gotta ask these people if I can
I'm not just gonna come bro first of all
you need to ask so-and-so if they're if
I can even be there because I don't want
to start nothin you know they know that
I do you know what I do you know and
right I don't want to start nothin I
don't want to be noting somewhere that
I'm not wanted and then a couple other
times where that that would happen and
then I would go to church and they would
call me out to come up there for prayer
and then they try to cast demons out of
me you know what I'm saying
and uh it's that man not get it and a
weird thing it's like I look back and
it's come full circle like we've done
that to other people just because we
heard about they believe weird stuff and
we're like trying to cast demons out of
them and you know and it's like man I'm
like going through the same stuff you
know and um but then I ended up doing
that concert with my friend and it was
just really really awkward just just
just even just be in that place and yeah
once you wake up a little bit man you to
go back into that setting it just feels
it doesn't feel spiritual at all
it feels very to me a church feels very
dead and it feels like a broken system
and no place to it's it's not a meeting
place
for for my soul and the Spirit of God to
come together that's that's that's what
I've discovered well I mean if we can
you know we see God in all things you
know and so to say that God is not there
or you know somebody hasn't had
beautiful encounters or experiencing God
in the church or even we did I think we
I think we'd be lying to ourselves right
there's but there's a level it's almost
like an elementary school for a lot of
people you know I don't want to belittle
anybody's face but I really feel like
that for myself and a lot of other
people there's only so far you can go
and you have to go to big boys school
you have to like if you're going to keep
growing but I was supposed to do another
event what people would beg me to still
do events I'm like no I can't I can't
man yeah you can alley is listening in
and chat and they had they were uh we
did a lot of gospel hip-hop events and
outreaches together she's listening they
wanted me to go do an outreach out of
park that's ok side of Park it's not at
a church I got some Christian rap music
I've got some old music I've got a lot
of features with my friends that I've
done so I was like let me just let me
I'll do it
so they were a bit essentially he kept
asking me and I didn't want to tell him
no so it was not not a leader asked me
what it was our friend Kenneth Booker I
mean I'd do it and I got to thinking
about it I was like you know what that's
like man I can't go up there man
there's no I just can't it's just not
gonna feel right maybe those people know
me and I got to get up there and be
awkward conversations and stuff so
anyway I back out the day of I just say
hey look I'm not feeling well y'all okay
I'm not gonna bear to make it and they
wanted me to make the flyer and I made
sure I didn't put my face on I just had
my name somewhere I put another rapper
and uh saw backed out and I'm glad I did
because the person who it's over the
Parks and Recreation for that City
seeing my name on the flyer and pulled
him to the side and said if true seeker
shows up we're shutting the whole thing
down we're shutting it down true seeker
goes around telling people that Jesus
loves them and gives them mushrooms and
all of these weird things or whatever
and they were like
you know giving them this tongue-lashing
about me and stay away from him we know
him and this weird stuff when somebody I
hadn't seen since I was a little kid I
hadn't seen this lady since I was 13 but
she knew me and knew all about me and
all this kind of stuff and my reputation
precedes me locally like talk you know
and I've been - I was kind of a big name
so it's kind of weird for me to go to a
church because they're gonna be hey you
know you got a witch in your church you
know you have someone who does eat
mushrooms and the psychedelics and he
tells other people to do it - or
whatever whatever preconceived notion
they have weird stuff
so my friends begged me to go to church
with them while I bro I can't come to
your church even if I wanted to I
couldn't come I can't I can't come down
and be worrying everybody's looking at
me and if he's here I'm leaving like
just weird you know stuff that goes on
and so todd Bentley came to a service in
New Orleans and I'm about two and a half
hours away I got family over there but I
was like you know what he's someone that
I kind of lashed out at and you know
kind of mocked when he fell down you
know in the faith healer and he did a
lot of stupid stuff and I kind of was
attacking him at some point but he was
coming to New Orleans to say you know
what one thing I do honor by the this
man is the fact that he fell down and
became the laughingstock in ridicule of
charismatic Christianity but he didn't
give up like he's still doing his thing
even though that he's got restoration
they went through all the stuff I said
I'm gonna go see him I want to travel
over there and go see him and so I was
like you know what I'm traveling and so
my level of expectation about what was
gonna happen when I got there was the
fact that I get to go and like
experience this church thing in a
different City where nobody knows me and
it was cool I'm just another face in the
crowd and got to go there and experience
what todd Bentley brought which was
really good it was really really good
the whole time but um yeah you just
changed man your level of perception and
stuff you put up with and you know it
gets deeper may I remember I had friends
who studied the occult and studied
paganism and babylonian ism and they
wouldn't come to our churches they said
dude I'm not coming to your church - and
these gods weren't even Christian
they were pagans and they're not coming
because Christmas trees and idolatry in
the temple and the obelisk on top of the
church and a pagan tree and they're like
dude I'm not coming to your church
there's some dark magic going on in your
church and y'all don't even know it I'm
not coming and they would because they
studied that stuff and they understood
it I said no that's dark bro I'm not
doing well you know yeah there is a lot
of those kinds of things man and I again
I mean I think that so many of the
things that we that we've become
comfortable with you know people from
the outside look at that and they just
think man that's that is crazy you know
and and the I think some of the abuse
that happens as well you know it's funny
because there are people of other faiths
and and some of them are much different
than what you and I believe and you know
there are people that will judge you
just because you're friends with those
people in in you know think that somehow
it's weird man the idea that their life
is so narrow it just no I can't I can't
and I guess that's what I mean you know
yes there are beautiful things that
happen in a church house and people do
meet God in those places but once you
kind of expand beyond that it's like
what you said man it's sort of like
going back to elementary school and you
just realize this place for me this no
longer works for me now I I haven't I
haven't elevated from it but but somehow
I've expanded bigger than than what this
is presently I guess it's almost like
what's that what's that what's that
movie Billy Madison then he had to like
go back through grade school and he had
to start over and like do eats
yes great oh and he's like in there with
all the little kids he's like hey I'm
money y'all you know and really not one
of us man you know and you just trying
to fit in or you just shine that you're
here for the you know to whatever but
yeah it's it's crazy man looking at
people we talked about this the other
day on the podcast and I joke around
about it is the fact that it's he's like
you'll give somebody a shout out or
house
your podcast and say you give him a shot
on say yeah he's a good guy I don't
agree with everything but use his name
or you hang with him or go out to dinner
I don't agree with everything he does
man but he's a really good guy he loves
his family man he he provides for his
family I don't agree with everything why
did you have to like give that
backhanded compliment he's a good guy
with everything exactly I don't know I'm
assuming it's some kind of church thing
that we've picked up because they would
say you know we would do that or I would
share a quote by Manley P Hall that
which was a beautiful quote or Eckhart
Tolle you know this oh you believe
everything that car totally said do you
believe he did you know he didn't
believe that Jesus was this or Manley P
Hall was a Mason you believe in
Freemasonry really it was like hold on I
agree with that quote yes I agree with
the quote you want me like to approve
this man's lifestyle and all kind of you
know everything he's ever put out you
want me to affirm that that's so weird
the fact that your mind works like that
we've been trained to do that though we
have man that's a super good point
you know Eckhart Tolle I love his
teaching but and exactly he says a lot
of great things do we believe exactly
the same way no we don't but I'm not
gonna be afraid to say Eckhart Tolle
said this and it was really good yeah
yeah I mean I'm at the point now man and
and I don't want to be like and this
isn't I almost don't want to be labeled
I believe even Jesus I believe in the
resurrection I believe in the cross I
mean I I still hold those things yeah
but I almost don't want to be labeled a
Christian because it means if I get
meditation well he's not a very good
Christian well I don't know that I want
to be a very good Christian I want to
know God and I don't want to limit it to
well Eckhart Tolle doesn't believe Jesus
is the Messiah so I can't listen to him
well dude if you knew half the crap
these pastors in America are doing I
know because I was one and I knew some
of them and you know
you wouldn't you wouldn't want to listen
to what they had to say either yeah so I
think that there's a thing there where
you have to be able to be open to learn
even if it's somewhat dude I've got a
I've got a friend of mine who believes
very differently than you and I do very
differently
almost to the extreme and he and I were
talking about Jesus and he brought up
the scripture that Jesus you know you
look you you reference it earlier if
some people will say look here some
people will say look over there but the
kingdom of God is within and man he said
it dude where if he would have been a
pastor you would have said wow that guy
he's anointed that guy's anointed me but
you know I mean so do we believe the
same no can I receive from him man
absolutely i will i will receive from
him yeah i remember of all the time i
heard a friend of mine this was when you
know he's got a lot of great sermons
paul Washer it's a great preacher you
know what I'm saying one of my friends
got into him and we were watching it I
love paul Washer man he's a charismatic
your life and you know these type of you
were ready to make change it's like how
does that even work you know and just
these weird divides that people have put
up even within Christianity or whatever
sect of spiritualism or religion you
follow it's there you know it happens
everywhere man and that week when I was
a pastor I had a guy in my church who
was a Buddhist and his parents lived in
India and he lived here in the states
and he was telling me about that he had
to tell his mom that he now eats chicken
and this was a big deal you know and and
so he's telling her he eats chicken now
and she said looks tonight I know you
eat chicken and and that's fine just
don't tell anybody you know so I mean it
happens in every every religion man and
that's why you call it religion but I
think on a personal level guys like you
and me people that are listening to this
podcast there is room for expansion
there there is room for growth there is
room to who kind of elevate above what
is being labeled as
Jannetty and there is more out there
whether it's angels or you know whether
it's a transcendental States there is
more out there and it's bigger and it's
beyond and it's still part of you know
God's plan and Kingdom and that's my
opinion on it yeah and a lot of it's in
the Bible things you don't even know it
your skin absolutely yes that's the
thing - especially with like the
Reformed people and who just went
straight scripture well I just well I
gave you a whole video that told you
stuff that's in the Bible that I'm
pretty sure you've never heard of the
book of shamaya
or the book of II do you know but in its
quoted up in your Bible so maybe it had
some validity or still does and somebody
took it out so you have to kind of show
them in the Bible you know I'm saying
now I was like that I wanted you to show
me where this is in the Bible and
eventually ma'am just on that awakening
experience we just started getting like
you want to call it downloads or
revelation that the Holy Spirit would
give you an inward lead you already knew
it but the words God is written upon
your heart you've never read it in the
scripture you don't know how to prove it
but inwardly I feel like this and then
you're reading the scriptures asking God
to reveal them to you reveal truth so
you every time you read and then you
start finding scriptures that back up
these things that you already know but
you couldn't articulate them with the
Bible I started that's how I started
writing all this stuff down oh my god
these scriptures are proving this stuff
the scripture is like you know I'm
saying backing it up because people want
to see it in the Bible and I was ready
when I my whole experience was like I
was ready to show them but they didn't
like a lot of them didn't care you know
I cared though and there's those people
who do so that's what you know tell us a
little bit about your podcast man and uh
some of the people you've interviewed I
know you had Jay Baker on Jay Baker it's
kind of a forerunner to a lot of this
stuff thinking outside the box and still
loving Jesus and doing things a little
bit differently and just talk about your
podcast man or what you offer there yeah
dude so hi about a year ago I started my
podcast I'd been listening to a lot of
podcasts yours and other guys as well
and in
you know I kind of want to share just
what I feel and what's going on with me
and I want to talk to some people that I
find interesting and so it's the black
sheep experience which is basically what
I feel like I'm part of the family but
I'm doing my own thing
and in a lot of ways that's different
than conventional Christianity and so
the first few podcasts there are a lot
of the podcasts are just me sharing
whatever's on my heart or whatever I'm
thinking about that week but I've had
Jay Baker on and dude man that guy is a
saint man he's just sweetest person and
I had a Jay Levine on and if if you go
and check out the podcast on a Jay
Levine she is a New Testament scholar at
Vanderbilt and she's also Jewish so
she's got this really great perspective
on the New Testament because she's not
really a Christian so its objective and
it's really interesting and so I've had
a lot of people like that that are
outside of conventional who means I mean
there's some great people man that have
some very powerful insight you know and
you were on the podcast as well and we
talked about things that were outside of
convention because there's people that
are hungry and looking for that stuff
they want to hear I guess other people's
perspective on this thing that they love
that we you know that we are calling God
essentially so that's what the podcast
is it's an exploration of my faith and
the people who are influencing my faith
people like you people like Jay Baker so
you know there's a movement that's a
deconstruction movement yeah
and I wouldn't say that my podcast is
deconstruction there's definitely some
of that in the podcast mm-hmm but it's
more exploration its evolution and I've
got a guy that's an atheist that's going
to come on and I've got a guy that is a
pagan that's going to come on and we're
going to talk about you know his
exploration and his gleanings on God and
and yes
but you know those are different than
mine
but I'm not afraid to talk to people
that have different ideas than I do that
doesn't intimidate me anymore it's not
going to bounce off of them and on to me
I don't I don't believe that so funny
that they make you state the church tell
you to stay away from those people don't
don't even talk to them and stuff and
it's just really weird but um that's a
lot to come out of man a lot of
deconstruction that has to happen it's a
fun process though it's hard at times
but it is fun you know and you just get
to this place where you just kind of
beyond open and honest before God and
say look I believe some stuff that is
it's not a view I'm asking you teach me
retrain me let me forget everything and
start from the ground up what is truth
who are you and start over and that's
what yeah as an adult you know and just
kind of relearn and everything and the
stuff that's that holds weight the stuff
that sticks the foundational stuff
that's built upon Christ
you know that's well you know you said
some stuff before about if you want to
see angels ask God you know if you want
to see truths that that you haven't
personally found in Scripture ask God
and I have found that to be true man I
it's just like I'm gonna get that
teaching you've got on the on the Bible
because I was asking God I said man get
God I I wish I could find a way to learn
about these other books that are
mentioned in the Bible but aren't in the
Bible and I prayed that about two weeks
ago and so a two-week turnaround on my
prayer that that's not too bad man
because your thing came out and I'm like
dude I'm yeah yeah it does this weird
thing is like maybe you're like this too
but you assume everybody knows
everything that you know you guys have
heard about that so people have no idea
that that stuff's out there you know we
just assume that people do and um that
was the thing that opened me up cuz you
find out you know you got to find out
that there's holes in your belief system
because you got it you got everything
figured out and it's usually religion
the Bible the government you know you
start finding a hey hold on the Bible
says what
yeah the government did what they let
what because we just have this trust
when it comes to them or God is what he
let this happen
or God is that you start asking those
questions and kind of breaks down that
paradigm and you have to restructure
things and so with those lost books of
the Bible for me
it was the fact that we think we think
or thought we had it all figured out and
you have these questions that hold on
where are those books oh we can find
some of those books Enoch is still there
okay well what is it and you're reading
your mind just what why did take it out
oh yeah about ancient pagan worships and
maybe some of these gods are still being
worshipped and Wow
this well that's where it came from my
wife actually brought me asked my wife
introduced me to the Book of Enoch I'd
never heard of it she's like me have you
ever heard of this book of Enoch and
told me all about it and then I was
talking to another friend of mine about
it and he said oh yeah The Book of Enoch
is quoted quite frequently in the Bible
it's like okay well those guys thought
it was okay then why did we get rid of
it you know didn't make sense to me and
then I started to discover there's more
of these books
yeah it's you're right man you tell
Michael man to you know that's what's
one thing even though Clemente it's not
mentioned I had to throw Clemente in in
the in the episode just because like
that's a really good book the
recognitions of Clemente it's real
spiritual yeah he's awesome and so I
threw that one in there in the mix but
you just let you know you don't you
think you have it all figured out and
then you know you have to question it
and it's good questioning like you
should like Church no but he damn sure
uses it he may not create it but he uses
it you know and when you're in a state
of confusion you have to be there
because other than that you got
everything figured out
yeah thanks figure so oneness state of
confusion where it's an order AB K order
out of chaos were you able to pull
things back together the right way you
know and you're able to do that and so
deconstructing the Bible not to take
away from the Bible but the Bible is a
beautiful book you know but that you
know to say that there's more and
experience it the right way and what the
Bible really is and to experience it on
many levels you know versus reading it
like it's a you know history book you
know yeah I went on a park a podcast
with a friend of mine and I was talking
about the Bible I said the Bible is a
love story and I said if you believe it
now for some people it's a it's a horror
novel it's a horror story for some
people and the guy got offended that I
said that the Bible was a love story I
look depends on what side of the
relationship you're you know yeah yeah
if people want to check you out man
what's the best way to consume your your
media your podcast is it you got a
website set the easiest way to go to or
just look it up no I'm on all the social
media stuff Instagram Twitter Facebook
and you can just find the black sheep
experience and I'm pretty easy to find
and then you know the podcast is on
iTunes it's on Spotify podcast Republic
you know wherever you're listening to a
podcast I am on there pretty much so
that means you define yeah make sure
y'all go check it out I listen to the
whole whole episode we did earlier I
listen listen to it again earlier so I
was going that was fun brother coming on
man I really enjoyed this conversation
this talking I hope it was edifying for
some people listening and just to let
you know at the end of the day you're
not alone I know that sounds simple but
I get so many emails that just say man
you let me know that I wasn't alone but
I was right we all think we are and
let's do it again sometime brother I'd
love to have you on man yeah dude I love
being on your podcast and I want you to
come back on mine and let me say dude
this is an honor for me so thank you
very much alright let me just ask you
this so as far as and I'm saying you're
welcome I had to return the favor so for
having me but what do you believe about
prayer and stuff like that as far as I
praying for healing or engaging God
through prayer and through laying on of
hands and stuff like that do you still
practice that yeah I do actually I
believe in prayer and I believe in
laying out of hands and I believe that
you know we have a direct divine
connection with God he's within and can
flow through us and and and you know I
mean they
practice that in the new age you know
they call it Ricki and stuff like that
but I mean what yeah I absolutely
believe in that and I've seen people
deal what what I don't believe in is
some of the faith healing stuff where if
you don't get healed it's because
there's something wrong with you I don't
understand how healing works but I have
absolutely seen people get healed of
cancer and all kinds of stuff I totally
believe in it how about you yeah oh yeah
definitely definitely I was thinking
because like I'm about to start doing a
livestream on Wednesday nights like a
doing like a live prayer thing which
we've done in the past but I'm just
thinking about having other people on
here with me that's either take callers
or just pray over people in the chat and
things like that so I love to have ya on
here with me so yeah yeah that'd be
awesome for sure I will do it again my
brother thank you so much man you have a
good one
hey thank you you too god bless you man
all right bless see it Craig Hostetler
ladies and gentlemen Hostetler look him
up his podcast is the black sheep
experience podcast and make sure you go
on there and check out the episode that
we did together it was really good I
have been getting a lot of comments
people like it when I go on other
people's shows cuz they're just able to
get me to open up and talk about things
that I usually won't like my mind
doesn't automatically jump to these
things unless prompted with a question
or something so if anybody wants to
interview me let me know but I've been
getting a lot of those emails lately
about that I want to answer this
question in in the email and I answered
this person earlier privately but I'm
gonna read this question from Elyse so
Elyse says hi Derrick how are you very
well I hope I wish you and your family
many blessings but she says I want to
have some sort of experience with aliens
or fairies or spirits or angels or
something how can I have a direct
experience with these beings thank you
for your advice how to have these
experiences so I think that we were
alluding to a lot of that stuff this
whole time is the fact that first of all
if you believe it if you believe it you
can receive it if you expect
my expectation brings about my
manifestation you expect it to happen go
out looking go out with intention set
the intention before you go out before
you meditate before you pray but I also
say just be led to resources that cater
to that experience to that cater to that
belief you know even when a script says
hearing come faith comes by hearing
hearing by the Word of God which builds
your faith faith cometh by hearing the
same way of any input any sensory input
when it comes to media you're being
taught you're retraining the mind if
you're reading books on how to see
fairies if you're watching videos of
people talking about their experiences
with aliens or angels or whatever and
you want to have those encounters or
with fairies or whatever listen to
testimonies and this is universal man I
know it's church language or whatever
testimonies testimonies just the fact
that what God did for one person he can
do for you
what experience that one person had you
can have that as well
God is no not a respecter of person so
if you're wanting to have those type of
encounters find research read books
maybe listen to music a I do music do
listen to music that promotes that and
it retrains your your mind your auric
field and you begin to so I'm looking
for that stuff you begin to start
expecting it and things like that so
then when you go into meditation when
you go when you start stargazing you
kind of know what to look for you're
expecting to see it and you know
therefore you can have that encounter
for yourself and so expectation brings
about the manifestation I really believe
that so and that's with everything man
that's with if you want to have an
angelic encounter if you want to see
fairies you'll find whatever you're
looking for I get run to you I put my
life on it that's the way the universe
works whatever it is you're looking for
whatever it is that you believe you're
gonna find it and it can get as crazy
and as out there as whatever you want to
believe you create it even if you're the
only one that encounters it this world
that we live in is very strange very
mysterious we don't have it all figured
out we only see in part and we know in
part and in each of us have a part that
we can offer that we can bring to the
table but I'm like we're talking about
retraining your mind stop looking at all
the negativity stop looking for people
to stumble stop look you get into
relationships with people and you're
just waiting for them to abuse you
because you're used to it
stop like you're expecting that just
because you're you're looking for that
because other people have done it and
you're waiting for the chance to them to
do it like we go to church and like
expect to be offended
up there he said it I'm not coming back
I can't believe he said that you know
you got to be able to be able to you
know here a little there a little be
able to take take some you know some
shots sometimes you're not wanting to
just like be around people that only
agree with you and only cater to your
belief systems no matter what it is so
sometimes we have to you know kind of
put up with some stuff or whatever you
know but yeah if you want the encounters
you can do it just seek him out Kris
garner says he said he says he admits
that he does that at church in Ted no
doubt those are things and you're
expecting to be offended you expect
you're looking for holes in their armor
you looking for a perfect person or a
perfect Church or whatever I don't know
if you're gonna find it if man has
anything to do with it under that the
body of Christ in general is perfect
that the Lord said he's coming back for
a spotless church right and we are the
body of Christ that we make up the fact
of the matter is you're doing Church and
you're going to your mosque
and you're doing your Hindu ceremonies
and other stuff and you're doing Wicca
with people who aren't they're not their
hearts aren't even in it like you're
going to church and having church where
people who aren't even Christians you're
being led by these people they don't
believe the same things you believe they
lost that belief a long time ago it
turned into dead empty religion a long
time ago come out of her my people so
you will not be a partaker of her sins
you got to renew your mind man you got
to step out of that stuff everybody's
different if you can go there and put up
with that stuff a lot of people can
judging by the comments a lot of you
can't you know I say stuff that makes
people mad they write down stuff and I'm
gonna email him and let me do a video on
him whatever so you know you're not
gonna find anybody that agrees with you
and everything but then again you find
out that's not the point the point isn't
not to agree with me on everything I
just pray that whatever you do believe
in it's helping people you're not
hurting people you know a lot of people
out there they're doing a lot of harm
man and you love you leave a lot of
people in the wake of your your hurt cuz
you ain't healed you out there hurting
other people misery loves company you
don't even know it subconsciously just
hurting folks cutting people off
mid-sentence doing all types of things
that you shouldn't be doing I did I made
a lot of people mad a lot of people
still think I believe that type of way
they still think I'm combative and maybe
in some for some things I am there's
some things that I know especially when
it's harmful stuff anyway like I'm gonna
I'm gonna stand up for it if it's
something that's gonna hurt somebody a
belief system I don't think there is any
middle ground if you're hurting people
you know stand for truth stand for the
widows and orphans and the fatherless
fight for those who can't fight for
themselves and people are under a lot of
weird strange doctrines man that's got
them got them bitter got them hurt think
gods mad at them all these kind of weird
things so Deb Casey says when you do
deconstruct religion I think we go
through a phase where we are critical
and offended or stuff in the church yeah
definitely that's part of that process
of healing yeah and but you can ask
yourself that hopefully you can ask
yourself from an unbiased standpoint am
I offended am I looking for them to
stomp you know am I looking for this and
you can kind of check yourself if you
are you know get that get that healing
man get along with God whatever it is
and so you don't have to be right why
does everybody have to agree
with you everywhere you go and you've
studied so much eclectic under different
stuff in the Bible that people don't
even know is in there but you still want
them to line up with what you believe
they don't even but you believed a
little bit of this a little bit of that
a little bit of this and you want
everybody to conform to that that's what
most of these churches are that's what
most of these the nominations are here a
little there a little we believe in
tithing we believe in this we believe in
freedom we're against gay marriage
whatever like it's you have to pick and
choose and all of these churches believe
different things they all do so that's
why they clash with one another learn
from your surroundings what's it doing
to them what's it doing to people I
don't know if you guys have ever been
there but it's I'm glad I'm so glad that
I don't do that anymore got to be right
got to have the last word on facebook
Messenger whatever have the last word
with people because you had to be right
Joshua nos the mystic gothic mystic says
it's the same thing as the healing
process of any wound
you get angered or hurt by things for a
period of time during the healing
process well a lot of people have an
open wound they're not even in the
healing process their wounds are just
opened you had you do have to go through
that healing process but I mean her it's
a trigger what is a trigger on something
if you have an open wound an open cut
and somebody touches it or six their
finger in your open wound you're gonna
hurt you're gonna be reminded of the
scar what about something that happened
20 years ago if it's still an open wound
and somebody touches it you may have a
bunch of layers of clothing on or
whatever somebody touches it still there
it's still there so Renee a friend says
I studied lucid dreaming my mother and
brother had an encounter listening to
your music brother Oh awesome
yeah lucid dreaming man
music is powerful in them I'm thankful
that my music is able to induce trance
state any music is really I just listen
to the beat I don't listen to the lyrics
I know they're talking about bad stuff I
just like the beat I can't even listen
to pop music anymore a pop channel can't
listen it my daughter every time I turn
my head she sneaks it on there I just I
have to turn it I can't can't do it
sorry
promiscuity sleeping around multiple
partners you know debauchery I can't
listen to it no repetition reduces
resistance and you know we talked about
like there's a lot of Christians who
they stay away they don't let anything
in we used to do that nothing evil
nothing secular nothing anything that
was questionable I remember I remember
we had a band come stay with us and they
wanted to they bought a case of beer and
I told him they couldn't drink in my
house they wanted to ask if they can
bring it in and put it in refrigerator
and I think I ended up telling them yes
but I was like come on against my
convictions I wanted to make him keep
their beer out in the car you have all
these crazy convictions you know and you
start when you become a weirdo
you become peculiar it happens you know
and you know that's what you did you let
him bring the beer in the house and now
you're drinking beer truth-seeker you
know and you know I laugh but it's it's
the truth you know you have these uh
these convictions but you got to be
careful because you but you can become a
hermit really quick really quick maybe
it's seven years maybe seven years you
become a hermit you push everybody away
that cares about you and then you stay
in the house and don't come to family
gatherings or whatever you just stay
inside because nobody believes what you
believe and you believe the world is a
bad place because of conspiracy research
that you've done those people exist I
have really close friends that are like
that and I was kind of becoming that
but yeah that's not good you're doing it
wrong you're doing it wrong you got a
lot to offer but you're pushing people
away and don't even know it a lot of a
lot of y'all yeah I've been through the
process it's definitely part of the
process for a lot of people to get
scared you know
but then again reading ronita says she
makes money moves car to be managed on I
rebuke you cardi Beach now but you you
have a you have a light inside you man
something for up precious that you're
trying to protect you're trying to
protect it you don't want it to be
corrupted you've been at hell's doorstep
you've been you've drank from the cup of
death of the Devils
and you don't want to do it again so you
protect it whatever you put build walls
and keep everybody out you know you're
doing it wrong
I know you're trying this all you know
to do but you're doing it wrong you only
only allow people around you who believe
like you believe who have a level of
faith that you've come to that's taking
you years to get there you know so you
got to protect your face it is a
delicate faith um big Matic says it's
not a conspiracy theory if you actually
see what's conspired in real time it's a
lot of them out there man a lot of
people consider the alien stuff
conspiracy conspiracy theory they
they've never experienced it that's part
of it but yeah man thank you guys for
hanging out I really enjoyed this
episode again we are doing a conference
a meet-up community meetup in Memphis
Tennessee
in Memphis so if you guys would like to
come tickets are at true Sega calm at
the very top there's a link to purchase
tickets through Eventbrite or one of
those sites May 3rd and 4th we'll be
doing a concert the first night the
second night will be meditation and
ministry and things like that so it'll
be good
Chris garner says looking to the origin
of the words conspiracy theory yep
it's not conspiracy it's a theory it's
not a fact it's a theory have all these
strange theories so with that I'm gonna
say peace of Shalom I love you guys we
will do it again soon what's up Kirk
everybody hanging out in the chat big
matic Jinxy Ali Graham Rin Chris garner
Rene Joshua Jeb Casey chatter -
everybody hold us down live Sandra
before yah Devin Harris what up bro
again like I you guys heard me mention
it but I am gonna do the Wednesday night
prayer thing as well Wednesday night
prayer thing Kris Kris garner says the
CIA made up the word
conspiracy theory to discredit people
those I can't believe they did that one
to do that and they put it in they put
it in movies to discredit you - because
I'm sitting here telling you guys about
Star Wars scenarios that are in the
Bible he got from Star Wars the Jedi
cult got it from a Jedi but the Jedi do
research on that
do research about who the true Jedi are
you gotta spell it a little bit
different but the D in front of it it's
not it's the Jedi priest from Egypt who
believed in a lot of things that the
Jedi Order believed in in Star Wars look
it up you gotta look into it you just
gotta look into it thank you guys with
thalamus a piece of Shalom if you're
able to become a patron man support what
I'm doing helping me keep moving keep
going I want to do a lot more meetups
who want to travel we've got a lot more
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your help
if you believe in my work and you
believe in the music I got a bunch of
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consistent I got more documentaries that
I'm working on more videos and teachings
and stuff that I can get out there and
you can help me do that
patreon.com backslash true seeker the
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that kind of stuff to do it I have an
Amazon link below that shows you
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that link before you shop on Amazon I
believe that they give me a kickback on
everything that you are you purchase but
um yeah you got to look into it look
into it do want our discord community as
well a bunch of cool people over there
peace and Shalom we'll do it again soon
peace peace
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