From Juggalo To Jesus Freak | J Payne

From Juggalo To Jesus Freak | J Payne
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTO5gwZA2Ns
Transcript source: YouTube captions

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and gentlemen I'm true seeker this is
the truth seeker podcast got another
exciting show for you guys today we're
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started podcasting back in 2011 so
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some places I want to go with the
interview today
um good friends with this brother we're
gonna get into this interview here
shortly and it's gonna be exciting
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it means a lot so our guests for this
evening J Payne Jeremy Payne what's
going on my brother welcome to the show
glad to be here it's good from Juggalo
to Jesus Freak man it's kind of the the
catchphrase right yeah it's cool it's
cool because usually when someone's what
we call in the world when someone is is
lost somebody is just out there reckless
living live in life and they come out of
their lifestyle whether it be gang
involvement drug involvement whatever
type of lifestyle they come out of in
your case you know I'm saying being
really being into the Juggalo movement
when God saves you from that stuff in
that lifestyle he usually sends you back
to it
I know people who looks a lot of like
the gay lifestyle and the the rave
scenes and stuff like that and just all
types of stuff and then they go back not
to like judge the people but I'm saying
show that there one of them and and to
love on them and and there's there's a
reason that they were in it to begin
with right so tell us a little bit about
your story man about being in the whole
Juggalo scene and then coming out of it
to where you are now
okay I've pretty much gotten to the
jungle scene when I was about 14 and I
was in a pretty hardcore like from the
very start for the next like three years
so Stefan teen and though I grew up
around Church you know pretty much my
parents didn't live it I think that's
the typical American household generally
but I uh when I was 17 is when I
surrendered to God I felt I felt him
speak to me pretty pretty intensely and
I went home that night and I pretty much
threw away all my music as much clothes
as I could I pretty much threw away
everything and I was in I was in church
solid for about a year but the church I
was in was very legalistic and you know
I'm not gonna say that the move God
wasn't there the pastor didn't have
anointing on him because that would be
alive like there was just so much
legalism there that it just it didn't it
didn't line up with the Bible
and and that's not even why I left I
left ultimately because I got to a point
where I wasn't feeling I wasn't feeling
that love that should have been there I
was pretty much feeling like an outcast
of the church oh and I'm pretty sure it
was just the enemy speaking to me but
it's pretty much in my mind I was like
well I can't get love where I should be
I can always get it from my peeps so so
I went right I went right back to the
culture and I was back in it for
probably
three or four years give or take but
ultimately it took me while I was gone
or while I was away from the church or
however you want to put it up I knew
where I needed to be yeah and I was
longing for that place with God again so
it took me about three years or whatever
to get back there with God but
eventually I you know I got back back to
my walk I ended up youth pastoring for a
few years doing outreach and 2010 was
where I released my first the demon kill
album Volume one in 2010 and I was I was
really pushing hard to reach to the
Juggalo culture and I really didn't see
any maybe a couple that were slightly
doing it but I didn't see anyone really
going hard with it until about 2012 I
came across Joe Hamblin which was he was
the founder or is the founder of from
jugular to Jesus streak and from there
things just started falling into place
and it was crazy because I was I was
mentioning to you last night whatever
but I I was supposed to go to the
gathering while I was in that lifestyle
but I ended up finances fell through and
I didn't go go play
now that I'm you know now that I'm saved
and I'm not living that lifestyle I've
gone to the gathering three or four
years now yeah to do outreach is it's
just crazy like you know how God works
things but no it initially like I I
before I even gotten to Juggalo culture
you know I pretty much had that mindset
or that appeal beforehand because I was
really into you know the murderous rap
or grittier and rap you know the more
underground stuff or things like that so
I mean I I'd pretty much say I was like
that to begin with it's just it's I
didn't really find that click until I
was about 14 yeah so talk a little bit
about the culture because I mean just
for somebody who doesn't know what it is
I know it's kind
like a buzzword now like a lot of people
know what it is a lot of Juggalos are
even called gang members now I know
that's like a big thing with the whole
hatchet man and ICP movement they've
calling them gang members and stuff but
like somebody who doesn't know anything
about that culture what it is what a you
know I'm saying Juggalo is I guess kind
of set that up and you know saying just
talk a little bit about the culture
being really big on family which i think
is a is a key I'm saying foundation for
the Juggalo movement I was you know as
it as a high school student I was really
big into Insane Clown Posse you know I'm
saying and call myself with Juggalo we
painted our faces and you know I'm
saying all that stuff so talk a little
bit about the culture for somebody who
has no idea what the heck of Juggalo is
well honestly you probably want to start
back with like original horrorcore
founding which i mean if you know
anything about that you got people like
Bush Bill gravediggers and then ICP
initially started the whole Juggalo term
or movement or made it bigger so I say
but initially you know you had people
like brother Lin Cheung and Ishaan
before them so I mean it goes it goes
before each before ICP but initially
it's is it's like I said it's like
murderous rat [Â __Â ] core is pretty much
it's it's how far can you push the
envelope how how violent how how much
shock factor you know can you get with
the with the rat scenario but in terms
of psychopathic records specifically and
I even see strange music pretty much
following that that line too it's it's
really family oriented um however like
seeing how things are going now you know
I know there's a big divide in the
culture because of the artists splitting
and having in differences I'm starting
their own labels and stuff like that but
yeah it really from the beginning it's
always been a family oriented and it's
and it's usually been pushed towards the
the less-fortunate even though we're
close yeah yeah lower class white kids
or things like that yeah pretty much
the white trailer trailer park myself
man yeah yeah by but speaking about the
whole gang affiliation is it's crazy
it's crazy cuz uh even though I'm not
it's hard because I'm part of the
culture but I'm not I'm like I'm in that
gray area I guess when I when I went
through divorce with my daughter's
mother
Juggalo gang affiliation was one of the
things used against me in court and I
was like this is crazy
yeah and the whole time granted the the
judge really the judge really you know
she asked me about you know where you'd
like this before she met you you know
this man so she pretty much was
dismissed it but the whole time all
these months before while I'm waiting
for this trial I'm like man this is bad
I'm like what yeah what do I say to this
like you know so that definitely um
that's definitely a very real and
present issue in that culture I know
there's a lot of people there's some
people that aren't even part of the
culture anymore but they got a tattoo on
their hand like the hatch yeah and and
they get discriminated for it I mean me
having because we got the cross man logo
with a hybrid logo you know a little
Jesus Freak and it's got him here
carrying the cross and saw the hatchet
but having that on my back window I've
gotten pulled over several times and
they give me bogus reasons and I know
it's because I have a logo on the back
though if you think it's don't wanna
something like that yeah I had one cop
pulled me over and he told me he pulled
me over for he said my parking light was
out
yeah I was like I'm driving how do you
know my parking lights out and then he
proceeded proceeded to ask me if I had
any prayer familiar drugs or any weapons
on me and I was like are you serious
dude
but is that's definitely a Hg present
culture but ultimately the culture
revolves around rap that pushes the
envelope and and a unity in and going
along with that unit at family scenario
uh being at the gathering a lot of you
know the security that that oversees the
gathering stuff like that I've even
heard some of them say they saw less
violence or less fights at the gathering
than they do in a country concert I know
that's crazy yeah that's great that's
crazy you would you admit I mean with
such violent music you would you would
imagine the opposite but it's not yeah
well there just is such a need for
acceptance and what the Juggalo
community provides is for the the people
who are essentially outcasts to actually
come together and and be a family law
yeah yeah and you know I'm saying have a
sense of that you know I'm saying that
they have purpose and and that they're
special and so like a lot of the people
a lot of the kids who are involved with
it or people who grew up without mom and
dads or them or their mom or dad worked
all the time whether it was I'm saying
fighting in the household people coming
from broken homes and then just like a
gang would receive somebody in and you
have a gang leader or whatever someone
who's like a father figure that's
essentially what the movement is about
and but to see like there's like a lot
of drug use yeah a lot of over
infatuation with with violence with
murder cutting people's heads off
stabbing people and they sing about it
in in in songs and stuff like that so
essentially with the whole horrorcore
genre is for those of you don't who
don't know it's essentially like a
horror movie like if you was to watch
Texas Chainsaw Massacre and turn it into
a rap song or a rap album or any of your
your your whole your whole scary movies
and stuff like that I remember listening
to gravediggers when I was a kid and I
found I was a little kid listening to
gravediggers and I actually actually
found out about them because I was a big
fan of her
movies and we had the movie demon night
and then we got the demon night
soundtrack with uh with a you know say
Billy Zane which is a great horror movie
but the the soundtrack had filter on
there that song hey man nice shot which
is an amazing song but then they had
this other song in there by the
gravediggers and it was a I think was
called one nine hundred suicide and I'm
listen I'm like I'm probably eight nine
years old and I'm listening to a song
about killing yourself as a little kid
and it's like over and then I wonder
four or five years later why I had an
over infatuation with maybe trying to
kill myself when I got depressed and
then it's coming through the music as a
little kid you know and they're and
they're going through all these
scenarios on great ways to kill yourself
and and like almost like compelling you
to do it and it gets crazy man talk a
little bit about some of the stuff
that's in there that that now that you
look back up on it you see how it kind
of affected you as well like just some
of the lyrics whether it's ICP or
gravediggers or whatever honestly man
it's it's it's when I got when I got
saved uh you know my eyes opened a lot
but I'd have to say even when I became a
father my eyes opened even more because
the music I mean I know I knew all the
lyrics my heart and and it was crazy
I I never saw anything wrong with it you
know a year I mean you typically have
people saying that and I'm not trying to
bash on ICP but typically people you
know juggles well I see Peace Christian
but I I'm sorry you know you know the
fruit fruit of the tree tells me what
tree it is yeah you know so I mean if
you're if you're if you're if you're
talking about being promiscuous doing
drugs killing people spilling or or
witchcraft is right with that obviously
telling me you ain't fruitful of God you
know so yes I mean and I and I and I
think and and and it's not bashing it's
just it's just
it's trying to paint the tree for what
it is you know and and being at the
gathering man there's it's sad man like
the the kind of stuff you see I you know
there was there was a there was a woman
at one of the gatherings where she
literally just you know and it's a
little explicit to say but she literally
was like bent over like a fence or
whatever and there was just a line of
dudes going through her ya know and that
same yes like mm and me as a father like
I'm like you know I would never want to
see like it's like it hurt my heart I'm
like man like that's someone's daughter
yeah you know you know and even more so
that's that's whether whether she's
living forgot or not that's that's God's
child you know yeah it's just it's it's
rough but as a personal influence I grew
up very broken home both my parents had
very big issues on their own between the
two so I grew up very bitter and hateful
so the music drew me in that much more
but but what what I find in people
people are like a lot of people are just
like it's just music it's just me it's
just music but it's uh that's not a
second music amplify is emotion that's
why we use it in movies we even use it
in war you know it will amplify the
emotion you're going for so if I'm
hateful or I'm dealing with issues of
that nature or I'm suicidal and I listen
to stuff like that yeah yeah there's
people that don't you know it doesn't
really push them but the majority it's
gonna stir your it's gonna stir your
thought you know it's gonna it's gonna
push you further in that direction you
know I mean if you're smoking weed you
gone you gonna play something by smoking
weed you you getting romantic you gonna
play something like that I mean it you
know it goes it goes it goes that
perspective so I mean for me horrorcore
drew me in really bad because I like I
was I was a faithful kid man I was
better I was hateful I was I was
confused and then and then the whole
like I said I grew up in a like
a broken home and pretty much
hypocritical quote-on-quote Christian
home but you know there was no there was
no foundation there so when I heard ICP
talking about the Dark Carnival and your
little quotes about God or things like
this I'm like oh I can be Christian and
be evil at the same time yeah you know
so so that engulfed me too I was I
didn't have a you know a divide yeah I
see where they're coming from as far as
the whole Christian thing and like hey
we've been Christian the whole time we
just couldn't we just couldn't tell you
like I could see the gimmick as far as
these wicked clowns who are repaying
people for their sins like whatever you
do you're gonna get the Karma back if
you and the the people that they attack
are people who are like made bad choices
or when you die this is when you're
gonna get your retribution even though
you've lived a lavish life on the earth
and you've been rich and you've enjoyed
the whole delicacies that the world has
to offer but you are a bad person you
beat your wife you beat your kids and
stuff and now it's our turn to torture
you that that type so almost like God's
wrath or like God's retribution to
people who are getting away with doing
that kind of stuff you know I do follow
like I you know that's I honestly feel
like if they would have done differently
that the whole aspect would have been
awesome I mean there are there are a lot
of good aspects to it you know but the
one is obviously about the heart is
concerned ya know yeah that's that's
what I'm talking about you know I mean
obviously I have a issue with this you
know that they most about because
they're kind of doing the same thing
about the whole word by yeah by the well
it's like you know the the thief says at
least I don't kill you know like you
know you're both wrong you know you know
the Bible says you know that I'm to
attempt to this
back in my the beam of my own eye before
I tend to my brother SPECT so you know
your life isn't right how can you how
can you how can you comment someone
else's but the but the initial issue
I've always had since I got saved was
the kind of message that I hear coming
from that even if it was sound is a
works based salvation there's no there's
no blood of Christ there's no
deliverance here I don't think that's
ever been like that yeah yeah it's it's
it's pretty much you either do good or
you do bad and that's how you get your
order you to punishment but you know I
mean you and I know very well that that
we are saved by grace there's there
there's nothing we can do to to save
ourselves yes so you are you're in in
the culture you're in to this negative
music about killing people about
kidnapping people putting them in the
trunk and being then the the whole
neighborhood serial killer they got
songs about kidnapping people and
killing them and riding around with dead
bodies in your trunk for weeks and
months at a time and and your car stinks
because you've got bodies in your trunk
like this is the kind of music that
they're talking about right and a lot of
its catchy and stuff like that and it's
part of that whole weird sub subculture
and there is an entertainment value to
it right just like watching a scary
movie or something but you you actually
come out of that you get saved you have
this revelation of Christ Jesus touches
you and then you feel compelled to go
back to those people to go back to the
culture not just forget about them like
I got saved and I'm you guys are demonic
I'm staying away from you guys which a
lot of Christians do I'm saying they
they they just stay in the church they
stay in the church and they and they do
Christian rap concerts at the church to
others for other saves to people and I
you know I come as well and they're
trying to win the loss but they're just
preaching and rapping the church kids
you know yeah and so you actually come
out of that you have a passion to go
back in there so stylistically
the whole genre of what is called horror
core which it has a feel to it it's like
a darker themed but you can still do
that type of music as far as
stylistically but then
the lyrics from your lyrics are about
bringing hope or you can paint a picture
about the evil tormented person that you
was by your demons and by your past and
by your sins but you put a twist on it
and say now I found salvation through
Christ and so I was this evil person I
would rob you I would try to fight you
or kidnap you or whatever the case is
but now I'm this and so you're doing
music essentially based on that going
into the culture and and trying to win
them with us with the style of music
that they like or they're used to so we
got a couple questions in the chat room
people want to know about the face paint
and I guess if people are yeah if people
aren't familiar with the Insane Clown
Posse they paint their faces up like
like like clowns and then even people
who are just affiliated with
psychopathic records and just horrorcore
in general teknon like all of them paint
paint their faces so talk a little bit
about the face paint and about yours and
people want to know if it has any
significance and someone even said that
you are your Jesus Freak but you're you
have Satan face paint on it I know you
get this stuff all the time being a
Christian going back into that realm so
talk a little bit about their face paint
and then talk a little bit about yours
as well that's uh this that's my new
album I just released writer died
actually the title track pretty much is
breaking down the whole the whole face
paint aspect or coming out of the
culture but the whole devil face is
probably the typical typical thing I get
from church folk yeah and and and what
kill what kills me about that
you know just real quick is is that's so
Hollywood you know where biblically are
you getting that from
yeah you know where where give me
scripture any scripture I've read about
the devil says he appears to be an angel
of light you know makes himself appear
beautifully or whatever so so this whole
red horn devil type stuff just doesn't
make sense to me biblically earthy
elastically but ultimately the the face
thing is supposed to represent it just
happened like when I was working on my
first the first even kill album in 2010
and I was very amateur at that point but
I was trying to come up with a concept
to symbolize coming out of the culture
and I just ended up coming up with this
I mean it was very simple but like it
pretty much caught on but what is
supposed to symbolize is pretty much two
things in one number one I used to
idolize meant that paint their face you
know I used to put them up on a pedestal
my whole life revolved around them but
now I'm I'm putting doing away with that
and I'm idolizing Christ Christ is my
Savior Christ is my everything that is
the man you know that is the one I look
to and and above that it's based off
Revelation 1:5 and on to Christ who
washed us from our sins in his own blood
so the whole point of the red face is
supposed to be being blood-bought being
being washed so my sins and and being
brought out of that culture that's
that's that's that's literally the face
paint in a nutshell and it's crazy
because I've gotten so much so much flak
from from the face paint or albums you
get in the church realm like if you go
to a world and if that's your target
audience which is Juggalos you should be
fine but going into churches with the
rest like we were talking about
yesterday
you see you gave an instance where you
go to a show and I've had to do it as
well well you like the only white guy
there right and then you're the only
white guy at this all-black Church and
not only the only white guy but your
face is painted great granite like like
you know typically I haven't gotten any
the times I have had my face painted
whatever like you know pretty good
reaction
you know once I've crapped all that it's
just the the initial like shock factor
of like this dude guy his face painting
what is going on yeah but uh but no like
I even had the demon killer volume 1 I
had that in three different Christian
stores and one of the Christian stores
one of the copies got bought and someone
brought it back and and complained and
complained to the store and was like do
you even have an understanding of what
you are selling here bah bah bah so they
so they pulled that album off they left
like the righteous talked the way out
whatever because it was earlier in in
the music when that happened but I just
ended up going to all the stores I was
like like that's somewhere out of my
trunk I'll just you know it's cool I
mean I'm saying you're not the only one
though I think I think p OD when they
released their first mainstream album
the fundamental elements of Southtown
they had you know it was sold in the
Christian stores and and there was an
image of a dude meditating there's like
a wooden man and there was all these
different symbols and add of care and a
trinity knot and and stuff like that and
they actually wouldn't sell it and so
they they actually made a blacked-out
cover with just the hole covers black
except there's a little square in the
middle of the album cover where their
name is so it's doubt it's a black front
with just the p OD it's the actual cover
but you can only see that the name and
stuff and so the Christian bookstores
wouldn't wouldn't carry it because it
was a dude on it meditating and stuff
like that and I remember this doesn't
make sense to me because the Bible talks
about meditating yeah I mean granted
there are different different practices
of meditation but in just that itself
I mean if it's if it's in the Bible and
it's within context it's yeah and this
was the early days of its of Christian
rock you know this was still it was
still the early days when that stuff was
kind of just you know I'm saying trying
to cross over a little bit
and then um I had some singles when I
was when I put out my first Christian
rap album I had some singles that I was
submitting to the local radio station
and had I had one of them that like at a
live concerts it was like the best song
so I submitted that one they loved it
but at the end there was like in the
song it was like a gun cocking and a
shotgun sound going off you know and uh
and I was like yeah we can't play it
because there's a gun there's a gun
sound and it was like really well I was
like you don't play this other one so it
was cool they ended up playing my other
single that I put out and uh it was cool
locally been able to ride around and
then on Friday nights and Saturday night
you would hear your song on the radio
and people calling him requesting them
so that was cool when that happened but
uh yeah Christian Christian music
industry has been squirrely and you know
saying what they accept but now pretty
almost anything flies there's been so
much stuff come through and the I think
the industry is saturated with gospel
artists and gospel rap especially that
everybody is a gospel rapper um talking
about the red the the red face and the
paint and stuff like that I remember the
gospel rapper um
minister who used to be called sinister
when when he got saved and he come out
of gang affiliation and stuff I don't
know if he brought it over or he just
started doing it but he would wear all
red and he would wear red bandanas and
red rags and stuff like that and it was
to symbolize the blood of Jesus not that
he was a gang member or affiliated with
us but he said it to him it represented
the blood of Christ and so he wore that
everywhere he went I know you know I'm
saying what's his name um 7in hog mob
they wear purple all purple and they
were you know Purple Gang rags or I'm
saying bandanas whatever you want to
call it and it's a family but to them it
represents royalty the purple that's
what it does sort of represents in the
scriptures and so that's what they wear
and they get mistaken for gangs and
violence and all that kind of stuff but
essentially what they're what sevens
doing is very similar to what you're
doing is going
back to that culture and going back to
those people who are in the ghettos who
are in the hoods who know the gang
slaying in the gang language and stuff
like that you're doing the same thing of
going back to the the armed Juggalo
community and you speak in their
language and they'll listen to you right
because you come out of that stuff and
then and then you have music that's good
and even with you your new project
you're actually working with with Mars
who has a similar story you know I
actually interviewed Mars on the podcast
I can go back and check that interview
as well but Mars was affiliated with
dark Lotus insane clown posse and stuff
like that so you actually have him on on
your new project if we want to talk
about that relationship with him because
I know you have a video shoot coming up
as well yeah yeah we're shooting a video
on Saturday it's actually going to be
exclusive a song it'll have the third
third verse will be a exclusive feature
from Excalibur and that'll be when the
video releases that'll be for free
download in the description of it so
it's like I alternative versions from
the album play uh ultimately it's crazy
with Mars and I I mean back in like 2012
we were scheduled to do a show together
in Michigan City there was like a few
other artists that were scheduled to go
and then Mars ended up not being able to
make it I think he had a migraine or
something but uh so you know we were
friends on Facebook I'd follow him for a
while whatever but it wasn't until just
recently when I was uh starting to work
on a ride-or-die that I reached out to
him and when when I hit him up we ended
up talking on the phone you know and you
know talking about both both our
testimonies pretty much chopped it up
and he agreed to agreed to feature on
the album and to come open up at the
album release party when it took place
and then we've gotten to perform with
each other like I think once or twice
since then he's performed with some of
my other peeps uh other shows I wasn't
able to make it but initially he
and he's got an amazing testimony and it
was crazy to have him on my album
because out of all the girl star Colonus
was probably my favorite really and and
and not only was it my favorite but
honestly I liked I like tomorrow's
better than a BK yeah if anyone knows
the the whole thing with dark Lotus the
first album originally had Mars with it
was ICP twisted blaze and Mars and then
they got rid of Mars from from what I
understand from everyone Mars was
getting so much love that pretty much
ICP got mad about it
I mean that's just the buzz I thought
I've always heard but they ultimately
got rid of him replaced him with a B K
we released the alcohol and I don't know
I just I never felt sit back back then
like I did the original but it was cool
to work with them it was it was it was
amazing to get him and the other cats I
got on the album to be on there because
I mean I was I was pretty into their
music back then so I mean it's just
crazy to work with them now yeah yeah
it's it's funny too because the Insane
Clown Posse just put out a single where
they were yes like dissing everybody
they could and there was a line in there
where they dissed Mars and he showed his
image on the video and stuff and he's
been gone for a while and just out the
blue violet you know this is him and it
was so funny to see Mars his response
right because he didn't know about it
but his inbox was blowing up from people
hey man you see uh you know they they uh
dis you in this new song and all this
stuff and he just like I'm praying for
them and I love those guys and may God
bless them and keep them or whatever
just a handler so humbly and but a lot
of people think that that that came out
of the blue but they've been beefing for
a while and Mars did a violent a dis
song right or the real yeah yeah the
real dark Lotus so that's almost just
like you know their retaliation or
retribution for him you know dissing
them now you know but now he doesn't
want anything to do with it
and I guess rightfully so I guess
yeah ya know like I mean I gotta say his
dis I mean obviously I don't agree with
my sense now plate like his dis was
rough man that that was I mean I don't
he came pretty rugged with that dis yeah
so I mean it's but that was a while back
I mean I'm I'm yeah I know right that's
what I'm saying it's problem it's been a
long time I didn't volunteer just out
the blue yeah it's and it's funny to me
though man cuz it's it's you know with
Mars Mars and you know where he's trying
to go with things to push things up it's
crazy because honestly that just made it
more irrelevant
mm-hmm example I mean is everybody kinda
forgot about reason what he's doing now
yes it's in an audience over his way to
check him out or what he's doing he
preaching it about here okay so I mean I
mean you could almost think that a Word
of God you know yeah Violent J probably
didn't even know but you know God was
coming you know pushing it through his
mouth but you know it's yeah yeah just
give a quick shout out to everybody
who's holding us down in the chatroom
life give a quick shout out Adam
Starseed Bay what's up brother we I just
had an interview with him which was
amazing it's gonna be out soon Adam
starseed Bay Jared what's up brother
Chris garner Elissa freedom Gower be
easy since what would up true secret was
happening family I went to my first
Insane Clown Posse concert probably and
this may this may answer
Alissa's question and I'll tie I'll tie
this in with her question
she says have either of you ever found
yourselves moving away from your faith
after having a come-to-jesus moment if
so did you find your way back
how do you know it's the truth and I'll
tie that into my story with my insane
clown posse
concert because it was a time where we
we were moving in miracles praying for
people over the phone and just believe
in God for miracles and seeing like the
miraculous happened for just healing and
people wanting to know Jesus and having
an encounter with the Holy Spirit by us
praying for them over the phone and we
were meeting together we were gonna live
on Facebook praying a lot and stuff like
that and seeing God move in a lot of
ways and the insane clown posse was
coming to Biloxi over here and in a
Mississippi to buy one of the casinos
and I've never been to an insane clown
posse concert but I wanted to go and I
was like you know what I don't talk to a
lot of my high school friends let me hit
them up cuz we were all into insane
clown posse in high school so I was like
let me hit them up and it'd be like a
reunion
let us all get together I seen him in 10
15 years you know let me invite them and
we'll go hang out for the night so I did
that and it was a couple guys went but
when I was gonna purchase the ticket
like I had a conviction about me right I
said I know I don't need to go to this
but I want to it's nostalgia you know
I'm saying just for the night we'll go
listen to them and it it was the little
box store and the early stuff is what I
was into right so uh I bought tickets in
the weird thing is it's like when I
bought the ticket I knew that and it was
like a two-week span outfit from the
concert so I bought the ticket and when
I did there was a conviction there and
from that moment until the concert I was
like I knew I was doing something wrong
so it got in a way of that connection
between me and God because in order for
you to flow in the spirit into walking
true freedom you got to have everything
open and you can't have you can't hide
anything from God you can't try to trick
God like like I mean that's the original
sin of Adam in the garden trying to act
like he didn't do something or trying to
hide his his sin or his his emotions or
his actions from God and so me buying
that ticket I knew I shoulda did it and
from that point down I was like I didn't
I couldn't I didn't feel motivated to
pray I didn't feel motivated to to be a
Christian and be
expressive about it cuz I knew that I
was going to this concert and I knew I
was gonna have some drinks I knew I was
gonna enjoy the music and it was a
conviction there man that whole two-week
process of like from being on a
mountaintop okay this isn't just regular
life but we were like there was a lot of
awesome stuff happening and I bought two
tickets in so that happened we went to
the concert and it was just it was
nostalgic we painted our face up at
everything right and you know said we
move in healing and all kind of stuff
and then here we are going to the
concert to enjoy insane clown posse and
like under somebody in the choke lock at
the concert some dude who's probably on
some free speed or something man this
dude was getting all crazy I put him in
a choke lock and then I had all these
people around me who I didn't know so
there was a sense of paranoia because
like I grabbed some random dude and put
him in a choke lock and I'm like man
he's probably got a crew with them cuz I
we're in another City Hall and you going
to concert like you got a you don't go
by yourself where it was just me and
like a couple other people but then I
got paranoid cuz I'm looking up and
people just pointing at me screaming
like hey let him go you blah blah blah
courser I'm like oh wow this dude's got
friends here I'm may get jumped you know
so yeah it just brought all this
negative energy man after that I had fun
I definitely had fun but from where I
was going with that intimacy with God
and walking in miracles and keeping my
channel clean it definitely muddied the
waters up so from that moment it's like
a it took a long time to get to where I
am now and to be like have that faith
built back up in that confidence
obviously we could goat in particular of
anything we want and there's there's a
piece there's children's children of God
but I knew I was doing something wrong
it's not like I couldn't go there and go
I wasn't going ministry mind and put it
that way like you could do that and
that's what you do with the gathering
you you go to the gathering and hand out
gospel rap CDs you pray for people you
guys have a booth and merch and all kind
of cool stuff set up at the gathering
which is the big Juggalo festival where
people come from all over the world for
a couple days of camping and just tons
of
horrorcore artists and just all kind of
artists and it's just like the big
gathering and you guys go back to that
and yeah and and minister so talk a
little bit about going to that realm and
stuff and some of the things you've seen
at the gathering whether if you've seen
any miracles if you've seen anybody in
tears or people convicted what by your
conversation or what man you know yeah
we I mean kind of kind of expounded off
of what you were talking about with your
personal instance uh I can't say I've
I've like slid back to like go to a
concert or something like that but uh I
I typically about like I don't know like
80 90 percent of secular music I don't
listen to I just listen to Christian
music or or whatever but um and I do
reference I do reference other rap music
though I'd try to stay relevant and
understand yeah what everyone's going
with everything so I will like listening
just to listen it about my head or enjoy
it
but I will say I found myself a couple
times where where I've been doing that
and I kind of catched my mind going
where it shouldn't like I'm like you
know before you know it okay two days
have gone and why am I still listening
to it yeah you know so like that was
that was something that was within the
past year that was probably a recent
conviction that I dealt with that you
know I need to kind of pull back doing
that you know so much and and and you
know keep a there's a limit on it yeah
there's definitely a limit that should
be there I forget um I like
stylistically I like a lot of that music
that's not the whole core but maybe like
Ritz or yellow wool for technical cases
and especially stylistically if we're
gonna be relevant to the culture and
bring something to the table we have to
know because there's a huge problem with
Christian rappers right now and I went
through this and people some of my my
brothers were talked down a black dude I
can't believe you're listening there
we're supposed to be holy I'm like and I
want to say that's
your music still sounds like it came out
in 1994 dude I'm a hundred percent with
this you have a lot of Christians
Christian artists who are in the gospel
music scene is oversaturated with
artists and they quit listening to
secular music and they quit let's just
say they quit list let's just say they
got saved in 2000 and they quit
listening to secular music in 2000 and
2008 when they get ready to drop their
album 2018 whatever their last hip-hop
reference is 2000 STI it's dated today
so they're coming out with music that
sounds in this that you know they say
that Christian music is seven years
behind secular music or whatever the
industry is doing and it shows I mean
you're doing music that sounds like old
school master typically yeah I did it
happened to me I quit listening yeah I
quit listening to gangsta rap music and
then years after I wanted to start
rapping and my music sounded like old
school c-murder and Master P and rock
music which we were instantly were in
the snap music area and I was I had no
idea what it was and then I would hear
it on the radio in passing it's not like
you haven't heard it but it's to be is
to be relevant and when you listen in to
people like rich Yelawolf in tech for me
it's about the speed okay it's not that
I'm not as fast as those guys at all but
if I can step up a little because I love
fast rap right so if I can step my game
up a little bit to kind of what they're
doing just a little bit and speed and
speed it up bring my delivery up listen
to the beats that it that our people are
still finding producers who are making
beats that sound like they came out in
2000 and and that's part of it and so
they kind of rag on you for listening to
secular rap but it should be done in a
sense of like you said not entertaining
what they're saying but the
stylistically the delivery because
there's so many times if people don't
know this man I've seen it so many times
doing gospel rap so years ago
there's a website called to SOUTHCOM and
this is where all the Christian rappers
and there was a forum there well yeah
well you can actually share your music
there and so it get collabs and stuff
and so there's a dude named Mike shell
and this is just one one example I
worked with Mike Shelton but he would do
he would do remixes to popular songs on
the radio and he would do like songs by
Bumby and paul wall he would take those
beats and put his own lyrics to him and
he would release them in the christian
audience thought that those were his
original songs enough to where people
were watching like shows on MTV and they
would play Paul walls music and they
would write Mike Shelton and tell him
that Paul wall stole his music because
they thought it was his you know and
he's doing remixes and stuff and this so
there's a huge disconnect when it when
it comes to the whole you know saying
Christian music and people who are doing
it it's just so far behind and they
don't know what's relevant so I
definitely got to I know I don't I mean
obviously you know with my ministry is
from Juggalo Jesus Freak so obviously
you know with me being linked up with
with Joe Hamblin like that like I'm yeah
I'm 100% against listening to that music
but yeah as an artist or even as a
minister how are you supposed to
Minister about that you don't know
what's that are just saying you know so
it goes both ways as an artist or as a
minister um but as far as as far as
going back out to the culture man that's
uh the the my statement is always if I
can even reach one soul is worth it it's
weird what it's worth the flack I would
get from from the churches it's worth
all of it but when we go out there and
this ties in with what we were saying
about you know kind of like you know you
know having that temptation or whatever
when we go out there we're not just
going out there ministering like we we
have career sessions you know we'll take
turns we'll go in the RV
we'll get on our knees we'll pray you
know you know like
I gotta make sure my eyes and my heart
are right you know
my ears are right you know because I
mean you out there man even if you're on
the main road you're still here music
yeah you know I mean there's these girls
there's girls walking around naked there
you know so yeah you know God your tech
my eyes you know not God chill my eyes
from looking where I should you know so
there's a lot there but um it's sad
though like you were saying because it
lacks in church you know we and granny
I'm not gonna say Church church folk or
Church kids don't need to be ministered
to because yeah there's even problems
Church there's no no down Church okay
the every Church has the problems and
and and that needs to be clear but who's
reaching out like who's reaching out
like my my good friend my good friend
he's 20 years older than me but he uh
he's a former drug addict he used to use
very big into coke he was a very big
alcoholic and God delivered him on the
spot if you check my youtube channel I
actually posted yeah I've seen that yeah
yeah yeah I've seen that a while back
actually it's the best of our video yeah
he he did he did he does um he does
dependency classes and Joe Hamblin Joe
Hamlin was was used he was a binge
drinker he was drug addict all that like
so I mean he does it as well he even
runs like a almonds ministry you know
where he brings men in and they get them
you know they get them ministered up and
and discipled and get them clean yeah
these are these are important things
things that 7 does you know yeah all
these guys and and it was crazy is is
before before I dropped the demon kill
in 2010 I never saw anyone reaching out
to the chocolate culture like that in
fact Griffin's would rather just boycott
drug culture yeah you know you'd have
the gathering coming to certain towns
and local churches local churches would
be wanting to boycott it so No
to reiterate it yeah infiltrate and what
what's crazy is through our outreach and
I was doing that we've I mean you know
Joe would contact these local churches
and you'd be it's crazy once you once we
meet with these churches and explain the
culture to them and explain the you know
the ministry to them they're like oh we
want to help so we that we that we'd
have people coming in and you know
volunteering to help minister we that
we'd have churches packing sack lunches
it was crazy
you know it's a bizarre me a gun man
yeah it's a it's like a fear factor like
the church is afraid to deal with that
like and that's why they're here but
that's my yeah yeah it's it's secured a
new yeah you know quite Christ said I
can't I came you know I didn't come for
the righteous you know so yeah pin it's
no doubt so so how are they gonna find a
repentance if we don't go out there and
you you also got to keep in mind the
majority of these people are never gonna
set foot in a church thank you so we're
the only church that we're the only
church they're gonna see only Jesus Oh
so if we see yeah if we stay if we stay
in the building and we don't go out
there you know and walk with them you
know I don't I don't have to particular
sinner or anything like that the Bible
actually talks about that your ways
would make them ashamed mmm how are your
ways gonna make them ashamed if you're
not if you're not around
yeah you know you're uh you know it's
it's been a blessing ultimately to do
that one of the UM the big things about
the whole secular sacred divide thing
that's that was a buzzword that was used
with Lecrae reaching out in the crate
working with secular artists and that's
pros and cons and as a Christian as
someone who's done Christian music I
don't I don't consider myself a
Christian artist anymore somebody's
asking that in the chat but um there's a
divide there Lecrae you can listen to
these dues music they bite off of the
secular artist like lecrae Canon KB
these guys
you might not listen to Yelawolf but
they do they do that's why that's why
their music sounds relevant for the most
part and even their their music still
sounds behind because they're listening
to the secular music album that may have
been out six months to a year they
listen to it and they've recreated and
then it takes a while for that to come
out and so they're listening to the
music of the culture and they're
recreating it for the church crowd and
so there's a bunch of of punchlines and
in bars in in rhyming schemes that I
remember listening to Yelawolf like what
Canon said that and Canon to rom
Yelawolf I'm like can and listened to
the yellow wolf so for taking you on top
of the Hollywood Valley we're looking
over the Alawis I make it balloon pop
it's like Canon took that and change two
or three words and took the same thing
from-from Yelawolf ons like oh my god
and you start hearing it more and more
and more in them taking the beats and
decide oh my goodness man they they
jay-z in it
they are and weird thing about it is
like I don't believe we should be seven
years behind bro I believe and so that
that's why I've kind of kind of distance
myself from it and I think that that you
know saying without what I'm doing is
it's really different that it's relevant
it's solely different and it's okay to
be different it's okay to think outside
the box and bring something different to
the table someone in the chat room Chris
garner he says I told a guy who listens
to a lot of NF which we can go all of
that but we know NF loves Eminem okay
let's just
I told the guy who listens to a lot of
NF about true seeker and he listened and
called your music secular I guess I
would call my music secular as far as
it's not Christian like it's not as I
don't do gospel rap anymore and
essentially when you stop doing gospel
rap it's when you make songs that aren't
about the gospel or aren't about the
death burial and resurrection of Jesus
right like they think that you have to
put all of that in every song and if you
don't then you can't be here and they
would like they would say stuff to me
back in the day even when I did gospel
rap like every song has to be able to
lead people to salvation as I brought
yeah I know right so you say you can't
make moves you know you can't make a
love song to your wife or no long to
your daughter like you know what I mean
like I guess it's ridiculous like I mean
granite granny your faith she should
show through in every song that you that
you are within those parameters play but
I mean my album my new album is full of
the gospel but I got a couple songs that
are just straight-up personal yes you
know and I even made a even make some
Christian references on those songs you
know it and it should be there should be
yeah yeah it should believe through
everything yeah no dad so what you like
like this podcast whatever we have one I
don't this isn't a Christian podcast you
know I'm saying there's gonna be people
who who who have never been in
relationship with Christ and they're
gonna hear your story and and you're
saying your truth and what's working for
you and they're gonna consider it man
they may come through revelation of
Christ through this podcast by hearing
your story and if we wouldn't have you
on if we wouldn't be in a place that was
so called secular right we used to give
people hell for having secular music
around us back in the day man you know
it's so funny Chris I'm reading these
comments here Chris as a how dare you be
Christian and talk about the Kundalini
I love you guys man mr. Matty Moses says
I feel like oscillate on did a good job
mission in the Christian elements no
doubt because because As I Lay Dying
talked a lot about their personal
struggle I think the same way this is
going out on a limb but maybe even some
Tupac just essentially being Psalms what
are the Psalms my enemies are chasing me
they're trying to kill me God I need you
to help me I feel like I'm gonna die I
feel like I'm all alone please help this
is David writing songs to God about his
enemies about to kill him and chasing
him and he feels alone and so that's
what that is that's the poetry that's
art it's like how you to label like I
can't put my life experiences and what I
feel the stuff I'm wrestling with and be
authentic you have to act like you don't
believe that you have to act like you
don't dream that or have those emotions
you can't you can't do a strut a song
about struggling with with pornography
because you're supposed to be set free
from pornography right you know all of
this type of stuff that you can't
they've got these imaginary rules that
they made up and they don't make any
sense the bylaws that you typically see
from from from congregations you know
they set up their own man-made standard
for the church and this is what you have
to fit to be on the platform are you
honest and that hey man a lot of you got
a lot of tantalizing room a lot of these
bylaws like oh not a lot of them if
they're bylaws they're not biblical is
it's something man-made like get weird
bro traditions amazing with the
scriptures call it yeah yeah if it's the
Bible okay I'll do it but but also at
the same time don't sit here and try to
try to bring up some kind of Leviticus
passage I'm not a Jew like if you know I
mean like you have to know your theology
the the culture the surrounding you know
that psionically you you have to you
have to have all this understanding you
know you've got
understand you know the the place and
time of things you know that's why the
Bible says to study to show ourselves
approved you can't just you can't just
read a King James Version scripture and
say well this is what it means yeah it's
uh yeah yeah you got a no culture and
context you got a no idioms you got to
know what what the jokes were you know
you can go I know I know people who
study I don't know people who teach it
and stuff and there's so much stuff that
it does taught in the American Christian
Church about the scriptures and
references and stuff that totally don't
mean what they're trying to say it means
what it means the exact opposite things
that are that are being taught um and
there's so many things that are that
that are there that are just in culture
in context and we don't get and so a lot
of that stuff you know I'm saying turns
people away
turns me away like you said they try to
put these laws on you I think tithing is
like it's like a big one because tithing
is like if you read the curses on
tithing yeah if you read Malachi and if
you can just go straight to those couple
verses in Malachi 4 that says I'm gonna
curse you if you don't tithes and if you
do tithe test test me and try me in
these areas and see that I don't rebuke
the Devourer and so they don't grab
those verses and start preaching them to
us like God is speaking that to us when
you go back like you said and read the
culture and context or just I'll just
read the beginning of the chapter you
ain't got to be a Berean yeah it's go
just go to the beginning to the chapter
and you'll see because especially
Malachi because each chapter is
addressed to the Levites we are not
Levites you're pastors not a Levite if
that if that arm is applicable for
anyone it's applicable for the pastors
who are receiving people's money in this
90 and for him but if it but if it was
it would be less for him than it
would be for us the rate of people that
church yeah a lot a lot of people think
that the tithe is supposed to be for the
pastor though it's not yeah I'm supposed
to be for the church though and I mean I
personally I pay I pay tight you know
okay ties and I I you know I'm not gonna
give that extra mow few whatever but um
as far as it being a Salvation issue a
lot of churches treat you like you're
gonna go to hell if you're not a Thai
there that is not a Salvation issue yeah
what about what about what is about
Deuteronomy 14 talks more like every
four years you're able to consume your
ties on whatever you want and I spend it
on yourself you never hear that preached
like this week go ahead y'all take your
wife out Sabanci by oh nice dress you
know stuff like that like you're never
here and there was so many different
rules and stuff but they it's set up
it's set up a system that is not
biblical man it just really isn't
there's no way to spin it in and see
what Christianity that Christ taught and
Paul preached is totally not what we
have today at all by any means necessary
but but they do have a lot of good stuff
that they're doing in churches and stuff
and I do appreciate a lot of what they
would they do and they help people and
they they're like there's a form of
spirituality that's reserved in the
church's prayer and worship and praying
for people laying on of hands going into
essentially going into trances while
they're worshiping I mean you worship
God with your eyes closed for forty-five
minutes you're gonna go into a trance
like that was something biblically
practiced by the apostles and disciples
and stuff and so I like to talk about
that stuff so I do appreciate that they
still have that that and not all
churches though because some some
churches are totally against raising
your hands while you're worshiping or
drums in the church you know I've been
around the block you know I know like
like I said man like there's no church
is perfect I mean every church has its
falls I mean and you got under sense
because it's ran by humans you know I
mean you know initially God is God is
over it but I mean you know if it's rain
by humanistic gonna have as flaws but I
honestly like I can't
the church that's quiet nice act his
birth worship I mean when you wait when
you read how David was about about about
his about his faith or worship whatever
and then you read you read about you
know how were to praise and how weird I
have Thanksgiving like there's nothing
quiet about it yeah so I mean for me I
just I could there's no way I'd ever be
able to get to a client your secrets
yeah um speaking oh I was just gonna
give a side note man um like speaking
about getting uh you know getting kind
of backlash from uh from the church
stroke whatever on a personal note I had
a I had this uh this older woman you
know uh a few months back she she pretty
much she criticized me from my mo uh
yeah my earrings Facebook or a Turkish
no it was it was a church you know um
actually it wasn't that tricks where my
saying it was uh it was that it was how
to get together but she was a Christian
lady or whatever and you know I pretty
much you know I tried talking to her it
I was being respectful and that you know
she just wasn't being mutual with and
and that was it and then just just
recently this woman like you know came
to me and she brought up the scripture
from second Corinthians about being all
things to all men
mmm-hmm and as she's like you know I
thought of you and I was like wow you
know I was like you know like you you
know I was like wow I didn't expect that
from you but uh you know respective on
me completely changed near home so it's
it it and it's crazy like cuz cuz I'm
not gonna lie like and I don't I don't
really take offense from it you know I
mean I pretty much
I pretty much I pretty much expect that
and I don't I'm not gonna hold it
against them
yeah but uh but it's just it was crazy
for me
kind of run in what about at first
though at first well because I know I
know you kind of had to learn that so
how was it at first when it was
happening because I'm pretty sure when
it first started happened and you sort
of taking it personal right yeah
obviously it was to the point to where I
almost wanted to stop going to church
and stuff yeah no not that I just I
almost wanted to just give up on the on
the music day you know like or at least
Avenue I was trying to take it no it was
you know I was just like no I said you
know I I felt like that was where God
was taking me but I was like it was like
it was kind of like a Joseph scenario
not not saying I was going through all
these bad things like Joseph mm but you
know it was like what you know this is
where you want me to go but why why is
it anyone seeing this you know why is it
yeah yeah I understand bro you see it
sound like you got a you got a little
one who's who's looking for you in the
house yeah but if you're seeing fruit
and lives are being changed stick with
that if it's working and that's what
that's what it's about if it's actually
working and you're being an impact to
the culture man keep it up bro
thanks for coming on hanging out with me
you are you want to go ahead and give
you links out for people can check you
out
yeah man you can find the writer died
album by Jay Payne on iTunes Amazon
Google Play all that stuff or the
physical copies available at literider
music net and you can also like me on
Facebook
backslash facebook.com/ backslash J pain
music let's just J and Ida jyi played or
you could just look up Jeremy Michael
Payne or J Payne and get at me but uh
I'm down to chop it up with anyone
that's got questions or we want to hit
you up yeah I definitely man so I'd love
to have you back on sometime soon
brother maybe work with you again in the
future man keep up the good work bro
yeah okay man all right Shai blastmon
peace peace
another episode of the true seeker
podcasts good stuff it sometimes it's
hard when you got little ones right and
and they're needy and so they want to
they want to be a part of what you're
doing I was waiting for the door to open
and a little kid that come walking
through the room you guys remember that
video there was a video of I think he
was with the BBC over I guess in the UK
or wherever he was and he was doing a
live feed from his office space in his
house and the door flings open in the
background and his little kid comes
walking through dancing and she's just
so cute man this little bitty kid and
she comes he sits on this table in the
table the table falls over and the books
fall everywhere he tries to grab her and
then the toddler comes through in the
little scooter or whatever little the
little Walker she comes through the door
and she's coming through with the kids
and this and there look they're so cute
and then I guess it's the mom she comes
diving through the door and grabs the
little Walker and tries to yank Yanks
the kid by the arm and she's dragging
him out when kids leg gets stuck and
she's snatching him out the room and
this guy's just like on the live feed
trying to do a live broadcast and the
kids barge in the room it's it's
hilarious but it's cute that little kid
is so cute come walking in there dance
and he's just like pushes the kid back
and the kid falls at the table it's kind
of sad but anyway if y'all haven't seen
that type in like kid barges in on
interview and maybe I'll post it in the
show notes just so you ain't got to do
that but that's funny I was waiting for
that to happen it's been so many times
where we do interviews and stuff and the
kids the kids want to get on the on the
camera and sometimes they do you know or
like a door will open and you see a
little kids head they're watching
they're watching their dad do an
interview through the crack in the door
and you can see them on the camera
that's so funny man it's so funny so
yeah shout out to everybody in the
comment section Mattie Moses what up
Chris garner yeah I mean this last
comment Chris says thanks for putting
your story out there thanks to you too
truth no doubt man
that's what it's about people not being
ashamed to share their story and what's
working for them and their belief
systems and stuff regardless of who
believes in it and who agrees or who
who's there to actually try to validate
their story right and once you get over
the aspect that you're looking for other
men or other people to validate you once
you get over that once you truly find
out who you are and know your mission
and know your purpose that there's
nothing that anyone can do that can
offend you or shock you or anything like
that because you know you who you are
you know your mission you know your
purpose no matter how far outside the
box it may seem to others and so you
could just imagine I mean some of you
guys even readin in the comments you
guys were blown away that this guy has
had his face painted on here but to
understand the culture and where he's
headed to like that's what they do it's
normal so you could just imagine J pain
go into a Christian rap concert at a
backwoods Baptist Church and he shows up
with his face painted red and blood
coming off of his forehead getting ready
to rap and perform and you can just
imagine how awkward that that is or that
would be it gets really weird and like
you said talking about the different
traditions of men and these different
things that are expected of the church
people right it's it's in so church
culture is it's weird own church culture
itself it's a subculture church culture
is there's words and phrases that only
they understand that's what we call
Christianese is using this really weird
double commentary and inward phrasing
that only church people understand
you're not gonna understand it would
like a lot of stuff in the midst of a
regular Christian conversation like
we've had some of those people on here
and I'm like I know the majority of this
audience does not understand what in the
world we're talking about cuz this stuff
that only it's idioms and stuff that
only church people would get or only
church people with no but I mean I enjoy
talking about it because a lot of that
the weird stuff you're discouraged from
talking about in churches like you can't
you can't talk about blatant things that
are wrong or blatant things that are
quirky or whatever the case is or stuff
that you do you can't question the
authority and that's why I don't I don't
like to deal with a lot of the the
Western Church right so Kris Kris is a
Kris Garner's making jokes in the chat
now he says you may not be able to rob a
word with orange but you can rob a word
with orange face no doubt and I think it
was a red man I think he does it red he
looks orange on camera but I think with
the lighting but I think it's a red face
for the blood even though it looked
orange but uh yeah he's a good dude we
actually have a song together we he
reached out to me some years ago and we
did a song called wake the dead it's not
it's not the best song that I've done
not the best verse and there's a weird
story behind that verse because I wrote
if you go back and listen to it if you
want to you may be out of Fonda
I found it I think I found it on Spotify
or something but just a little
background on that verse was that I
wasn't gonna put out my album spiritual
alchemy and and all that most of the
album's I've done I had like a change of
heart from dealing with the church
people who like Chris said you can't be
a Christian and talk about the Kundalini
or you can't be a Christian or believe
in Jesus and talk about this so you
can't do that I'm a Christian I'm a
believer but I mean I'm into a lot of
different faiths and things that are
just ring true universally and I try to
filter everything through the Scriptures
but sometimes trying to be accepted by
people you if you live for their
acceptance you die by their rejection so
that can that can be a whole lot of Hell
trying to find acceptance from the
church crowd and from any crowd really
that doesn't promote you being authentic
and for me now at this point that's all
that matters just being authentic and I
don't care what it is like when you
thrive and be in all
CENTAC and you can make a living by
being authentic and you're not looking
for anybody's acceptance and and and you
can do what you were put here to do your
call to do your god-given gift ins
abilities and talents and do that and
thrive in that man that is so envious
and that that's what moves the nation's
to envy man that you're a beloved of God
and you know who you are and nobody can
tell you who you are a man there was a
long time were until I was able to come
into that truth and be okay with who I
am
not that you're right about everything
not that you come bad of about every
other way or every other ideology or you
just accept that everything right but
that you can approach every situation
with love and with grace and not take
anything personally anymore that's the
thing about it dealing with these church
people trust me it's a headache it is a
headache man most of these people don't
know what they believe they believe one
thing one day the next day if the pastor
believes it so dealing with them it
could be straight confusion but we still
show them grace we still love them but
to understand that they believe that way
for a reason and there's a reason that
they believe it and the reason that
somebody taught it to them so to show
everybody grace whatever is the opposing
point of view whether if you're a
Christian and you have a problem with
atheists or you have a problem with
people who don't believe in God or
whatever the case is like to show grace
and understand why they believe it
there's reasons that they believe it it
just most people just didn't come up
with it or come to a conclusion like
they've studied out something or if you
know many cases were atheists of people
you know if there's a loving God why do
bad things happen to good people does a
loving God why is there rape in the
world so there's questions that they
never have gotten answers for and
everybody's different and you don't have
to explain everything to if you don't
have to like start from the ground up
with every situation to explain yourself
and how you got to this and why you
believe it if that was the case I would
be explaining myself until I'm blue in
the face and I've been there and there
was a time where I was about debate
breaking down belief systems and what I
believe in explaining it to people and
to hopefully win them over now we just
proclaim our truth and let the chips
fall where they may and if anybody has
questions we'd love that answer
questions but I don't need you to
validate my belief system or my
experiences and this is something that
you guys have to walk in as well to know
who you are and to know your vision know
your calling have a vision for the
future and make it happen
we're definitely discussing a lot of
that on this show lately about walking
in your purpose and walking in your
destiny walking in your calling
and to see people doing it and now I'm
doing it I'm doing this full-time this
is what I put here to do and it's just
the beginning
but the podcasts the music the art the
creativity that I bring to the table I'm
able to make a living off of my art in
my creativity I believe that we all
should be able to do that whatever it is
that you desire in your life whatever
you want to be that vision that you had
grab ahold of that vision again know
that God delights in you chasing your
dream I wrote a lyric two days ago I
shared it with a friend and in in the
lyric says that I can face my Giants and
never be afraid I can chase my dreams
without chasing them away to understand
that it's it's a good thing to chase
your dreams and those dreams are there
for a reason
there's a reason you can't get those
thoughts out of your head I'm not saying
all the negative stuff that comes
through and this there is a warfare
there's a battle for your mind but those
thoughts about life and about creativity
about what you want to do even if it
seems so far away you're looking at your
life and like there's no way I can see
myself doing this like I want to do it
but I'm so far behind on bills and debt
I barely have any free time I'm telling
you man start planning the seeds that
you want to sprout tomorrow start
planting them today if you don't put
nothing in the ground today you can't
expect to harvest tomorrow even today
even if you don't have any seeds to
plant break up the ground break up that
hard ground begin to plow that's
the spirit of John the Baptist was to go
forth and be a forerunner to break up
that stony ground and then Christ came
and everyone was ready for the message
and so symbolically we have to go forth
we have to break up that hard ground and
then we have to plant seeds then we have
to water it and then we have to tend to
it and we have to let the Sun hit it we
have to we have to nurture it we have to
cultivate it that's the same thing with
your dream and anything that you want to
grow anything in your life you can do it
you can achieve it and give God the
glory in the midst of it because there's
so there's just and I have to I have to
preface that because coming out of the
church realm there's so many people it's
like okay your heart is wicked and their
scriptures that talk about your heart is
wicked the heart is wicked and deceitful
above all else who can know it
and it goes back to what we're talking
about we have to know the culture in
context and what it's talking about it's
talking about the desires of man but
then there's also scriptures that go
forth and say that God has put the
spirit of his son in a heart sets cry
out Abba Father and then it says delight
yourself in the Lord he will give you
the desires of your heart so essentially
to make a long story short the light in
the Lord the light in all those things
that are good let him become your
passion let him become your desire and
he purifies your desires the desires of
your heart some we may have bad desires
you have to submit it to God we have to
go through testing and trial and prove
that this is this is right and this is
what we want and and what's what's true
what's honest will stand you let the
fire of God hit it and it'll burn up all
the wood the hay and the stubble and all
the things that are there that shouldn't
be there and what's left is refined by
the fire and be even as fine gold
refined by the fire seven times over and
that's what the fire is and the fire is
the trials it's the things that we go
through but it's also getting in the
presence of God in allowing his fire to
consume us when we look back on the
scriptures and we see that in the Old
Testament it's all symbolic about where
we are today spiritually but in the Old
Testament they would make an altar and
they would bring their sacrifices to the
altar
and they would burn it it's the fire and
we serve a God who answers with fire and
this is a symbolic fire that we go
through this is testing and trial this
is how he answers this is a picture so
bring your sacrifices bring your dreams
your goals or bring it all to the altar
lay it down let the fire of God consume
it let him test you try you and make
sure that there everything is pure that
there's nothing getting in the way that
there's nothing there that you want to
exalt over God and that's usually what
it is he just has to deal with your
desires and if he would have given you
your dream six years ago three years ago
some of you today if he was to give you
your dreams today and give you a
platform you'd mess it up you'd get on
there you'd be good to be bitterness and
resentment and you'd use your platform
to tear people down and even not
willingly not knowingly you would do it
just because you need healing in certain
areas trust me every six months man we
go through a season of breaking down in
rebuilding and you have to plant
something you have to do the work you
have to do the work spiritually you
can't just show up you got to do the
work you got to show the universe you
got to show God that you really want
this and when you do that you recapture
that dream the universe works with you
God works with you to recapture these
dreams it's the spirit of love the peace
and of joy that's your inheritance man
I'm telling you this stuff it's working
this stuff is working and we got plenty
of friends who were creating the life
that they want for themselves well we
look at Drew Gower
one of my right-hand men who was uh he
says it himself morbidly obese 400
pounds guess what the seed he had to put
in the ground he had to get up every
morning whether it's an hour early every
morning and go to the gym Droog hour has
lost over 200 pounds and he's been
featured on the DDP Diamond Dallas Page
has been featured on his podcast he's
been flown out to Atlanta by Diamond
Dallas Page himself
someone that drew Garwood used to watch
on the television as a kid used to watch
this guy on TV flew him out to feature
his story and to even offer him a
position and some things that are coming
up delight yourself in the lord and
he'll give you the desires of your heart
work with me on this guy's it's truth
anyhow I love each and every one of you
man thank you so much again from the
bottom of my heart everybody who's
supporting on patreon you guys mean the
world to me allowing me to to do this
stuff and bring these podcasts to you
guys and uh they're blowing up they're
blowing up on the audio end on on iTunes
and Spotify I Heart Radio the podcast
apps all of this stuff like the numbers
are increasing it just shows me that you
guys are resonating with it and and that
works my inbox is blowing up people are
picking apart the podcast and little
things that are being mentioned or
certain guests that we have on are
ministering to them and and I'm getting
messages in my inbox daily of people
thanking me for going there and I'm
telling you guys people who are in big
places of position and power or checking
out what we're doing on this show and
it's really cool it's really cool to get
kudos from people who can't publicly
thank me put it that way
publicly they can't thank me but they
reach out and they say man you know what
keep it up God's blessing you his hands
upon you I'm thankful that you talk
about this stuff because I can't I'm in
a position where I can't talk about what
you're talking about I can't be open
with it thank you for putting your neck
out there so bless every one of you guys
who are listening to this right now and
I'll sincerely love you guys from the
bottom of my heart
shout out to everybody holding us down
in the chat room
what's up brass Shalom my brother
I say you indigo trial try not to cry
amen
that's what's up plenty of stuff coming
I got a bunch of interviews on Dec new
music on debt it's coming we're just
gonna be consistent and I don't know
when but it's coming - we're gonna start
doing some stuff live we're gonna be
whether we setting up seminars to talk
about some of this stuff that we discuss
here and
I do hands-on demonstrations with
healing and speaking out words of
encouragement and really getting out
there to travel and really see some of
you people so if anybody wants to make
that happen
send me a message because we're looking
for four buildings we're looking for
places that we can come to with our
message so it's gonna be amazing so I
love each and every one of y'all I'm say
it again peace is slow
this episode folks you hear more
episodes of the truth seeker podcast
head over to Jessica calm and if you
wanted to support the show and get
rewards go to our patreon page at
patreon.com forward slash truth seeker
you