Bye Bye RELIGION, Hello GOD! | Renetha Nichols

Bye Bye RELIGION, Hello GOD! | Renetha Nichols
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzB49KuGFYg
Transcript source: YouTube captions

miraculous healings and all remote
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I'm your host true seeker this is the
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with you guys again today got an awesome
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just kind of get some biz
I'll bring my guest in to get the
business out the way cuz we got an event
coming up but I want to get the guest on
so I'm gonna just jump into it with the
guest my guest today
renessa rin nichols ronita how you doing
my friend
hey hey just sharing the podcast out man
enjoying life how are you doing good
except for the sinuses but uh tell me
that it's something that recently
developing the allergies like my eyes
are running it's just really weird yeah
I've never knew this enough you can dis
all of a sudden keep one day I thought
you had to get that oh I could never had
any of those I'm Louisiana born and
raised so I'm immune to mosquitoes and
all the other stuff and then one day my
eyes start watering out of nowhere so
yeah so I'm talking about patreon and I
want to say thank you to you publicly
for you know partnering with me and
believin in division so thank you for
you know being such a generous patron at
that and you know coming into the fold
and joining our disgorge own in our
community and you're you fit perfectly
so welcome to the family publicly on
that end you know yeah thank you it's
it's such a blessing to be a part of a
group that we can all have different
belief systems and not really totally do
some belief system but believe what we
can believe and be amongst each other
you really don't find that the community
like you have to believe what we believe
denomination is I was like you got to be
born in you know yeah it's so I mean
this is such a blessing to be able to
find the community like it's something I
had been looking for so I mean it's it's
an honor actually privilege so I thank
y'all for accepting and well thank you
heck yeah that's beautiful man
so also too you know something else
that's concerning us is that you know I
didn't go into it yet but we have the
event coming up May 3rd and 4th will be
doing encounter Memphis and so we'll be
doing that that Friday night we'll be
doing music and hang out with the
community everybody was gonna meet us up
there
then Saturday will be doing teachings
and workshops and meditation activation
all that kind of stuff you excited for
that I am I'm looking forward to it like
I'm going to sleep thinking about the
setlist and the transitions and I'm not
really gonna side of what I can speak on
because I just learned to accept when
that comes I'm not really a person I
need your guidance and I need to study
you know God has a way of bringing
things up and out of me that needs to
come when it comes so I'm not even
concerned about that I'm like this music
we have to lead them in what shall we do
but no I'm excited
I'm excited to meet everybody in person
to get me a hug a few Nexen and someone
promised me some a nice glass of wine
I'm excited about that too yeah so I
mean I'm excited about it yeah me too me
too so um we'll talk about your journey
to just I think that probably has to you
know deal with what you have to offer as
well who you are what you bring to the
table you like many of us especially in
this community that just kind of
organically is evolving a lot of people
started off in church and again there's
a lot of people still involved in church
and it's they're thriving they love
their church family and things like that
but a lot of people come out of it
because they're different their
doctrines don't line up they have a
different belief system whether I mean
you can it really varies because like
you said in those churches you have to
like agree on everything you know if you
if you deviate one of those tenants now
we can't you know you become an enemy
essentially you have a target on your
back and so we found just a lot of
people who just kind of been you know
saying neglected or marginalized because
they're Christians but they like to have
a glass of wine publicly and they're
okay with it and so our doctrines say
you can't do that so you have to you
know it is just all of these things that
like it could be one
so we've kind of like rounded everybody
up just kind of like naturally you don't
say finding a community where it's okay
to be different it's okay to disagree we
do you know I'm saying we have all
things in common when it comes to the
things that really matter at the end of
the day right what has been your
experience in the church and that's
usually what it is like it's something
that you have a schism there's a
difference in Church opinion or Church
doctrine in it marginalize people and
they go out and start another church and
another church has started out of that
one and those two leaders have a schism
and another churches started and then
we're in the Bible about and it's
Turkish for churches lined up right next
to each other all that have a you know
just a little degree of something
different that they don't agree on and
stuff and so we see all of this stuff
going on but for you what was it because
you came up in the church
moving prophetically speaking singing
and all that stuff
what was it for you that was like yeah
you got to get out of here you know you
got to find solace somewhere else it was
honestly I guess the straw that broke
the camel's back for me because at first
and just to go back from my journey like
you said I did grow up and moving
prophetically and part of the Ministry
of helps I was always in leadership I've
been traveling a singing since I was
about eight eight years old and the
issue I'll say what began to come up for
me
is the more I began to dive into the
Word of God the Bible on my own the more
I started to say okay Jesus said that
this should be happening but his word
will be confirmed with signs following
and there were things that were laid out
from the Bible and so my whole thing was
like I wish I had a horrible pre
salvation story yeah but I don't I don't
know I had fun in the world okay I had a
good time and play my belief system was
for some I wanted something greater
something bigger because the world and
it's always thing so trivial to me and
though in the Word of God promise
much more life more abundantly and I
wanted that life more abundantly and the
biggest thing is I was not seeing that
in fact I was singing stifled I was
seeing stifled by not only did you have
to be doctrinally agreed with everybody
but then there were little you know side
rules of the community that you had to
you know your dress had to be a certain
length they couldn't I remember being a
young worshipper and I had like a little
cuff on my ear that hung down I always
liked the little weird stuff things I
sent me apart I've always been that
person and being tapped on the shoulder
said take that off or you know showing
up to to sing at a church and as a as a
college student you know really trying
to connect back to God be it that way
and being told to put on your oversized
jacket because my curves intimidated the
females in church because the male was
had a little issue keeping stuff
together if you know what I'm saying if
I'm like that was not my fault you know
it's not my fault I have curves it's not
my fault creaks but for some reason you
impose this on me and so growing up
seeing all of that about two years ago I
was too tired of it you know the straw
that broke the camel's back for me was
being told that I was not to move
prophetically during worship as I wanted
to I'm a prophet worshipper and
basically shut up singing two songs and
sit down and I'm not an entertainer I
mean I can't be an entertainer but you
know whenever I go into the church
service as a worship leader my goal is
to hear from heaven to to disperse that
to the people to be a conduit and to
bring a medium if you will between
heaven and earth and and to to release
what God is saying over the people at
the moment and I'm sorry that it steps
on your your sermon notes program you
know in this particular case it was a
sermon notes because a lot of times God
would give me this particular pastor
wouldn't he wouldn't come in until much
later and in the worship because they
had a previous service
and so I would tend to get what the
pastor was preaching on we wouldn't have
spoken about it or anything but I would
tend to get a lot of what the area that
he was speaking on to me that's the Holy
Spirit like it breaks that brother like
I'm prepping the hardest for what you're
getting ready to preach on late you know
it was like well why should I preach if
you're gonna preach it I do it on my way
come on dude that's not cool so I'm like
I'm not gonna disrespect your house I'm
not gonna disrespect you but I will be
obedient to God so that means you need
to find another worship leader and that
was it for me that was that was the last
time yeah and you find out going on a
lot I had I had a good friend of mine
man okay I say a good friend of mine did
that story is prevalent with worship
leaders a couple a couple friends
actually in the more I think about it I
can keep thinking of more but they're
like annoying it psalmist like they grab
the guitar they play and then really
have to open their mouth in the spirit
of God just Inter's the room and then
when they begin to sing and a lot of
them are led by the spirit they can
release prophetically as well and so
they would be in those situations doing
that and in the past day how we don't
need all that you just do the songs we
tell you to do you know you come here
and then you know and uh that burnt a
lot of people out cuz I have some of
those friends were struggling with
pornography addiction and all kind of
different things that that that they
were bound with and the church didn't
care
just come here play your songs and this
is what we hired you to do or you know
you know it's your duty to God you're
not really hired because you not get it
you're not getting paid anything you do
this for God you know those type of
things and so you find that a lot with
with uh you know saying worshipers or
whatever who move in the spirit but when
you can find a body of believers who can
honor the gift that's within you that
they see that it's okay we need to work
together because when a psalmist gets
together the prophets the teachers the
preacher the evangelists when they all
get together and they're in in that flow
in that unison there's nothing that can
stop it and that's really I
with Jesus meant when he told Peter he
said you know upon this this rock I'm
gonna build my church and the gates of
Hell shall not prevail against it
when you have that the body of Christ
which is the church us coming together
and being able to be utilized as the
body everyone having something different
to share come together utilize there's
nothing that could stop it and it's not
a one-man show anymore and all that kind
of stuff so there's a seeking process
there you know because you know what the
real stuff looks like like you've seen
you've tasted and seen the goodness of
God and you're not gonna settle for
second second best not gonna settle for
a cheap imitation of what Jesus is or
what the church is for that matter right
because you've tasted and seen and I'm
not gonna deal with it not that I'm
looking and when you even when you have
that mindset people say okay you're just
looking for a perfect Church you just
Church hurt you're looking for a perfect
Church no no I'm looking for one that's
that's going to accept me for who I am
who's gonna utilize my giftings
inability I'm not I'm tired of just
coming to your church to be a part of a
service and I'm just reading through the
program you know and you know the
difference between me then now is that I
mean I spoke about this before but I
used to have what's called salvation
vacations okay and this is when I call
myself getting mad at God for whatever
people have done that particular week
and I took a little break and did me for
a little while it did you know what then
would come back and repent all this
other stuff the difference between me
now as an adult and my younger self was
this time I knew I knew for a fact I'm
like okay god this had nothing to do
with you like this is purely people this
is human ego this is purely self or
flesh or whatever you want to call it
and so my last time that I was like okay
I'm done with this I knew for a fact
that I wasn't done with God but what it
did lead me to do and and I had
experience like this before where I you
know we closed the door locked myself in
my room I said okay that is me and you
anybody in between this you need to show
me what you are trying to make happen
you need to reveal to me who you are and
each time I've done this twice in my
life the first time is when I really
discovered the gospel of grace because I
grew up in a very religious the
connotation of religious not the
definition because they're two different
things but I grew up in a very religious
setting at first when I was very
dogmatic and God requires holiness and
he's coming for a spotless bride and you
better be spotless when he returns and
you know where I was kind of like that
and then but the first time I discovered
grace and but the second time I
discovered a rich world of open
spirituality which brought me even
closer to Christ and the interesting
thing is I've caught backlash about that
and it's like wow like the more and more
I get closer to this life there's more
abundant life but more you guys come
against me what is your problem
I don't fit in your box so I don't fit
in your isms and your schisms and your
doctrine and all these other stuff you
haven't you really have a serious
problem but every day I'm going poorer
and closer to God I'm growing more
christ-like than I've ever been in my
life
more loving more accepting more
nurturing but there is really a problem
with individuals who are not growing in
that area and and the interesting thing
is they actually have the nerve to come
and check me about it dude because if
you were grown in this area you would
see clearly
yeah yes it's really weird man and I had
um I've got some friends of mine who are
passionate about preaching the gospel
and I you know I think I preached the
gospel to I'm up coming to the terms
understand that the gospel is just a
good news and it is not just a cross
like that's the beginning but the cross
opens us up to so much about I mean
anything from the
father is good man he comes in so with
joy peace spiritual giftings it's all
the gospel man because it's all good
good news for us man to understand you
know I'm saying to be a daughter of Zion
to be a son of the king like what that
means and explore that in deeper ways
that's exploring the depths of the
gospel of the riches of heaven but I
have friends who are passionate about
that and it's more in inward than it is
in deed
so they would rather you repeat the
words verses your life profess the fruit
of it right because your life is but it
really works the other way around I
think the scripture says is that your
life is what's gonna speak for you your
fruit is what is what's gonna testify
what you truly believe not what you say
I don't come with the wisdom and
elegance of words but I come with power
indeed in the Holy Spirit to be able to
change your life not to trick you or to
give you this awesome message to make
you want to respond or whatever but this
this encounter with God real you know
what I'm saying and so that that's what
it's about for me and that's it's
beautiful but they would rather you be
able to profess that you can have a life
of hell I don't care what's going in
your personal life what's going on as
long as you're repeating this stuff I
don't I don't agree with that at all man
I think it's the opposite I think that
our life confesses what we believe we're
you know and there's that quote and I
told this to my friend he hated this
quote because he's a street preacher
street evangelist what is the quote that
says I preached the gospel and if
necessary use words you know so your
life should be a reflection of what you
believe it is it's not it should be it
is what you truly believe your life is
going to reflect that what's the most
beautiful part about this particular or
this part this part of my story that I'm
currently in is that the fruit of my
work I've been able to see the fruit of
my work privately because I've taken to
working privately I'm a spiritual
adviser with people and I've been able
to see that fruit
in the backlash that I get from that
it's kind of crazy but God's allowing me
to see that fruit I mean and it's
available the you know ratings and all
that other stuff but I'm I'm able to
reach more people outside of the church
by dropping the titles that come along
with being involved with church then I
was able to reach people that I was able
to do while I was in church because I it
began I was preaching to the choir and
no doubt the choir needs help yeah that
was always the excuse you know there's
lost people in the church does need help
but I was like I got tired of seeing the
same people registered on altar like I'm
like dude yeah you've been four times in
the past night and I think their life
but what's happening here that you're
not finding small amounts of victory no
shame it would almost be offensive to to
teach this because it was teaching
people to break the cycle of
codependency because at the end of the
day the offering plate or the the
congregation numbers are dependent on
how many people rush the altar after
church right well what if I told you
didn't have to rush the altar what have
I told you that their healing and their
victory can come right there in that
seat if you were preaching anything and
but again that come that goes along with
fruits what if I said like it's a
paradigm shift to to some pastors and
church leaders and in their art and I do
know some awesome pastors locally we do
under who do have this paradigm but it's
like what if I told you that maybe your
fruit is evident in how many people
don't wish to alter after church yeah
that's because they're listening and
their lives are truly bearing fruit and
they actually become productive
contributing members of your community
that's going out you know but the
problem is is that because we're so
obsessed our ego wants to see that
number
pride wants to see that member our pride
wants to see people crying and also and
we don't even care if it's the same
person over and over again because it's
free tonight ego and I'm like no you
should have a real problem like at this
point you should be like see me after
church
come to my office listen really talk
about this what do you do what are you
not doing but I've been able to see this
working with people individually under
the name of spiritual advisor and it
does not mean that I have dropped my
belief system I still believe that Jesus
is Lord he's Lord to me and I get to
work with people with different
spiritual backgrounds and I have the
gift of being bilingual
um I guess be Christian is just as well
as I could speak Bhutanese or whatever
the case might be because I made it a
point to study all of these things and
learn how to reach everybody where they
are like Paul said when in Rome you know
you become what you do as long as you
become all things to all people so I've
seen more fruit outside of these
settings then I've ever seen on an
inside of those settings and it has been
a blessing to my life I wake up so
fulfilled and so honored to be a part of
people's journey no matter their
spiritual walk because they're evolving
and they're becoming more christ-like
whether they call it crack it's like or
not and I get to see that every day but
again that's something that's still kind
of being attacked because I don't have
the name Minister of Jesus Christ next
to it or I don't say you know there's
only one way or maybe I may say divine
source instead of God or Jehovah Loki
you know there's so many people who get
caught up on the vernacular and the
appearance that they lose the idea of
fruit they just totally miss it you know
yeah look that's a part of that's been a
the most rewarding part of this part of
my journey now how far are you into that
because that evolves to with how long
you know you've been able to sustain or
not try to find another church or not
feel like
because this new ground I'm sure its new
ground for you I mean it seems like
you're thriving you're doing good but
how long are you removed from that
because for me that journey was hell you
know and it's still it's still it's a
hard journey right
it seems lonely at times but obviously
the more that we talk about it the more
we're open about our journey people like
hey I see what I know what they're
saying because I feel the same way how
long are you removed from your last
church service let's say that I want to
say two years at this point I want to
say about two years at this point the
first year was kind of spent on me and I
quickly realized that I was denying a
part of myself because there is a part
of myself that has always been a healer
maybe not in the terms Reiki or whatever
it's called in the spiritual movement
but there's always a part of me I'm uh
I've always been a teacher I've always
been a healer I've always God's always
downloaded understanding and wisdom and
word aside of me to to share so the
first part of that journey was me really
developing uh developing my
understanding and finding my own footing
on the outside and very shortly after
that about a year into it is when I
realized okay I really need to give back
to Who I am and I knew I didn't want to
do it inside of organized religion which
is how what led me to the spiritual to
you know brand myself as a spiritual
advisor and all those things I've been
doing that part of it for a year and
there have been some frustrating things
you're gonna find some things are just
people because say the same problems
you're running into with the spiritual
community absolutely some things just a
human problem we need to understand that
because like those communities are
pointing back at the other one right so
the the church is like pointing at the
New Agers or pointing at the Muslims or
look what they do this but they can't
see that they're doing the same things
as well right the same schisms you know
absolutely and I've had to point that
out recently to a few people that I did
I deal with and had to welcome in and in
and of myself you know this hasn't made
me perfect but it made me realize just
how deep that particular programming
runs on the inside of you and I've had
to really point that out within myself
and others and say hey you know this
thing that you claim you hate this thing
that you claim you ran away from you
realize you're something exactly like
them right just because you bet it's
ingrained in you you really learned that
and for me again I could say it's a ever
evolving journey but also this is also
what led me to still seek out community
because like communities ingrained in
you yeah yeah all of us it's supposed to
be anyway yeah yeah absolutely and Bible
you know the Bible says forsake not the
assembling of one another but that's
always a scripture that I challenged
it's a scripture that I challenged
because the way it's always preached is
you have to join a local assembly of
people and I always preach that Christ
was Christ of the culture right what was
assembling was necessary in the times of
Christ local gatherings a for protection
these people were really being killed
okay so it was not just about coming
together in a place in a local place and
and I do like the idea of a local place
because there are people who don't know
where to go and it's easily accessible
I'm not going to show up here on a
Sunday I could show up airing on a
Wednesday and that's great that's great
but I also challenge the idea is because
it also means that I could meet someone
who can sharpen me and uplift me in
McDonald's in an online forum and you
know we can meet at the house like the
idea of saying we have to join this
local church in order to forsake Mathias
of one another means that you just have
to belong to a local church
I've always challenged even when I was
in the church I've always challenged
that mindset simply because Christ is
the Christ of the culture and if we I
believe we all are the Living Word right
yeah I believe that we all have the
Living Word on the inside of us Jesus
was an example and a savior to most of
us who are Christians simply because his
life showed us human potential and when
we say that when we confine people to
one way of doing things we take away the
more abundant part of our life because
we say it has to go this way it has to
look like this it has to be like that
but I found a beautiful community online
and I haven't stepped foot in a church
in a very long time and it's not to say
the online community is perfect right
it's it's we still have issues that you
will find in a church right so it's not
saying one place is more perfect than
the other but I'm saying I'm not
forsaking the assembling of myself with
other people that we can't and a lot of
sharpening happens a lot of growth and
uplifting and all that happens in this
online community and most of the time
I'm enjoying our fellowships on my bed I
did that I think Jesus would be happy
with me enjoying my cinnamon rolls and
assembling real and the thing about it
it's real it's kind of secretive right
you know in a sense because the fact
that you're not getting any cool points
for being there you know you know my
hair no your hairs on point you know did
you see the first light ahead I'm gonna
get that today
you know there's that's the thing it's
definitely not an ego stroking thing
that's one thing so like with the whole
discord in the community that we've
built and just not I mean that just kind
of comes out of where I am now but it
comes out of straw
of not striving because in Christianity
I I
I had to convince you over to my belief
system because it was better because it
was right
deep down subconsciously most of
Christianity has to do that because the
part of them doesn't know that if it's
true or not but the more people you can
get to agree with you the more people
that you can win over to your belief it
helps them feel like it's legit no
matter what it is if it's what whatever
doctrine it is whatever the more people
you can win over but like the servants
of the Lord must not strive and so when
it when I took when I just step back of
like I have to convince you we would
even if I was to be honest we would
trick people into getting save we trick
them as long as we can get that that you
know yes or whatever yes I want to
follow Jesus or pray this prayer with me
right when I stepped away from trying to
win every conversation to trying to be
right every time and all that kind of
stuff and just now it's a lot more fun
because and it's still intricate but I
don't have to convince you of anything
people are going to especially the
information age and what's out there now
people are going to flock towards
whatever it is that they're looking for
if you're looking for community if
you're I don't have to trick you to go
to church I don't have to convince you
to stay on you to go to church if you
want that you're gonna find it you know
so it just takes it takes a dog out of
the fight and I don't have to convince
you I don't need to I don't need the
kudos I don't need the followers I don't
need you know if it's if you need it
it's here for you and you're gonna
you're gonna find it man and it it uh it
changes the way that that we do life and
we see that God deals righteously with
everybody you know I'm saying regardless
of race or creed regardless of religious
belief and once you see that it opens
it's part of the spiritual awakening
especially for the Christian has who has
to see that what was it like the first
time because I'm pretty sure you've seen
this you as a believer being able to see
people from other spear
two walks who may not even name the name
of Christ they don't even know that
means something totally different to
them but there's a similarity in their
seeking process and and you know the way
that they carry themselves they're like
a similar there could be like a Muslim
woman or a Hindu woman or just a
spiritual woman who like it's almost
like a mirror image of you but but it's
just it's not packaged as Christianity
did that do something for you when you
first seen that hey it's not just these
church folks that God is dealing with
he's dealing with all people if they
will repent and turn from the things
that are killing them like Acts says how
did that feel when you seen that it was
enlightening I would say it's
enlightening and the first time I really
took notice of it was outside of the
church it was about five or six years
ago I was still very devout in mine
belief I carry Bible I read through it
every day
I think I must surrender the entire
Bible like five or six times with the
exceptions of Numbers and Deuteronomy
they just make my head hurt I'm in the
first chapter of Matthew genealogies but
I was working at this place where I had
the beautiful of experience of solitude
because we it was a call center so we
really couldn't talk amongst each other
and I would purposely sometimes get a
desk or a cubicle that was way out and I
would just sit there with my our daily
bread and my Bible and really just have
a nice conversation with God and God
would show me things in the Bible and
give me enlightenment but I remember
going to the break room one day and
seeing this individual who definitely
resonated with me on a spiritual level
with his behavior and how he dealt with
people and things and I looked at him
one day and he says I said are you a
Christian because that's the vibe he was
giving me right well he gave me some
answer that didn't say he was a
Christian basically he believed what he
believed he just believed in loving
people and I said huh that was the first
time I noticed that and at this point
I really started to see that there are
more people and you know the religious
side of me you know wanted to say Oh
with some to badger and I should still
go in the hell because you don't believe
in other part of me that challenge that
they said who said that you know who
says that you know there's a very
gracious God Jesus challenged the fruit
in the Pharisees and Sadducees like
although they live by every word of the
book they have at that time that was
known as the Word of God Jesus
challenged them because they did
everything properly with their hearts
love was not in their heart so you tied
to the to the tenth of your mint anise
and cumin but yet you won't help your
mother like what's the deal with that
you know in in the book about the Bible
according to Rin that's how it's written
chill out with that you know it's cool
that you're tired of the novel why you
gonna help your mama that's like that's
not cool and so how it made me feel
again it was leading me to the more
abundant life that I had always sought
out and promised and life can be so much
richer so much fuller if you took the
heart of the Ministry of Christ and you
infuse that into your everyday life and
that's what drove you and that's what
that was your heart I can't we stripped
away everything man-made about it you
got down to the heart of his message and
it was leading me on this path to this
more abundant life that I had been
seeking all these years in religion that
I was continually continuously felt
unfulfilled you're falling short yeah I
just it just wasn't there but outside of
that when I stripped all that away I'm
like yeah ok this is it I really get to
enjoy people I really get to you know I
don't have to sit down with you and
listen to all this wonderful stuff
coming out of your mouth and go but
unless you believe in the Lord Jesus
you know I could really just sit back in
the loan and enjoy yeah
and or I had the freedom to say no I
don't like you or I don't enjoy what you
said no I don't like how I feel around
you regardless of the title because
that's blasphemous inside the church
right they had a little apostle or
prophet a teacher I had to like you I
had to enjoy you well I was free of that
I was free from that type of control
over my life and so you know what I had
a preacher no real stuff what's up I was
at a church service that he step-by-step
described how he stole somebody's money
and the church was shouting about it
right he was preaching this message call
hidden treasures I'll never forget this
message he was preaching it called
hidden treasures God will have hidden
treasures for you and he's talking about
money that's what he talked about how he
got in this cab and he saw wallets on
the floor and he didn't want you know my
thing is anything you're doing a dark
you got to be able to do in a light for
it's true the be light but he described
how he proceeded to get this wallet
there wasn't ID in it there was a pass
there was identifying information in it
he didn't talk about how he you know
quickly looked at his phone so who was
person find them on Facebook he
described going in their wallet taking
that money out and throwing it back on
the floor and I saw the church screaming
I saw them standing up and going yes
Lord hidden treasures hidden treasures
I'm gonna find my hidden treasures and
I'm like no that's stealing I could see
if you just found cash on the floor with
no identifying information or something
like that then maybe we can say God did
that but no bro you just stole it you
know so the freedom to to say that
without it being blasphemous you know
touch not my anointed one do my prophet
no harm you know I was able to really
just definitively say notice till it
okay who you are I don't know it's
higher you haven't run
that's straight up spilling yeah because
you could have done something different
you could have made a different choice
that you didn't know yeah you have to um
that's one thing that the prosperity
gospel teaches are imparts to you that
like it's okay for you to step on
somebody's back to come up you know what
I'm saying it's like that whole spirit
of capitalism embodied right even with
with the church and with spirituality
which is disgusting really
it's crazy um you know you see you see
that happening a lot I heard this and
one of my elders in the past told me
said that you know all the pimps the
pimps back in the day in the big hats
and the big Cadillacs and I'll pimp
rides on it they all grew up and they
were all older gentlemen and they all
left the street corners they all started
churches you know so they still have
that that ideology of fleecing the
people or pimping the people out to get
what you want and yeah the whole
prosperity gospel thing it was uh it was
big for me man I tried to combat it and
it is you know just saying nice to use
the word fleecing because in the church
that the idea is known as shepherd and
sheep yeah and it comes from the
teaching of Christ though I had a cousin
we both got ordained or not a same time
that we did and he became a pastor of a
church in I called him shortly after
date because he actually got our day and
after I did and I was like brother
pastor like okay still wrapping my head
around minister choked up here you know
like I remember coming home from my
ordination the night with that caller
and I even had issues up into my
ordination because I'm like can I get my
collar so knows what t-shirt and they
gave me all these reasons why my collar
had to be it was sacred and people got
beheaded I'm like but I'm not gonna get
beheaded it's 2019
that's a to do that you know but I
talked to him and one thing that I told
him was that you know if you use the
concept of sheep understand that when
you bring in baby sheep it's gonna be a
minute before they can give milk before
they can be sheared because they have to
grow up in
you fleece your sheep so soon you will
kill them yeah they won't be able to and
I gave it to him in that analogy it's
actually why I supported him being a
pastor because he was in a way
independently wealthy so he didn't have
a need to depend on the church thing is
I was like you know what I can
definitely see that you're a businessman
on your own and one of the issues that I
did see ongoing was that we're killing
the Sheep too young you don't milk baby
cows you know you don't eat baby cows
you don't eat baby sheep you get my
opportunity to grow and reproduce and
then you share them and then you get
your milk from them and then they become
sustenance and food play what happens is
we get baby sheep in the door and
immediately were demanding milk meat and
and wants from them and I'm like so if
you really look at it from agricultural
perspective which is the only reason
Jesus you sheep mind it was like that
nothing is off its wholly about very
agricultural time in that Bible so he
used verbiage that was relevant that
people can understand and relate to in
that time so it's like my sheep were not
wholly it's it's he used that analogy
because that's what was understood but
if you continue to use that verb you to
understand that there's a lot more to
taking care of sheep than just expecting
them to give you milk warmth and meat
like you have to understand it there
there is a growing process a nurturing
process you have to give a lot more to
baby sheep sheep then you have to give
to an adult sheep can actually pour back
into you but you gotta wait there's a
waiting period you know especially if
you hear your by your getting them young
you have to wait wait till they get to
that point so they're it's a labor of
love in the beginning it is not instant
moneymaker that which is well it's being
imposed in a lot of circles okay the
lights have to be built the light bill
have to be paid and y'all not tired me I
was like wait a minute can I tell ya or
is there faith in the place where they
could target does that have a problem
with tithing
some God move miraculously with it but I
had to get to a place with my faith
opening that door for me because when he
didn't open the door for me I was dying
I was dying okay just keep giving that
money I had some some friends of mine
who were going through some marriage
crisis and stuff like that and so they
went to the church into the elders for
prayer and the first question that they
asked him are you tithing he said no you
know right now I'm just finances I'm not
able to do it he said well if you ain't
aizen I cannot pray for you I cannot
bless what God has cursed he put a curse
on that man who does that witches
warlocks curse you using dark magic you
so here's a pastor using black magic and
you don't even know it putting curses on
people with the ties happens everyday
you don't even know it
so lulled to sleep because they because
that music kicks in look what the Lord
has done we're good you know and if
you're under the steeple with all that
energy in that building that the
synthase and it's the stuff that they're
spewing forth it's it's really dark
occult stuff and you don't even know it
you left changed I I got a lot of big
trouble I've always been when I have a
big mouth I've gotten a lot quieter in
in my maturity yeah last year but
especially when I was first really
understanding what a spell was and all
that thing which is nothing which is the
same thing as a prayer believe it or not
it's just direct the intentions directly
behind it sometimes are a little bit
different who we directed to as far as a
source energy is different sometimes but
the idea is the same and I shared a
video of witches who were casting a
spell against President Trump yeah
I shared that and I said now what's
interesting about this is what there
doing is no different than what happens
in a church and I broke it down hard not
part why it's no different and I caught
so much like how dare you compare the
holiness of God to that of witches and
I'm like you're not paying attention to
what I'm saying
I'm saying the intention behind what
they're doing because what they were
doing that if you listened to what was
being said in the cliff they were saying
they were talking about how he treated
other people and they were coming
against how what he was doing to certain
groups of individuals who didn't and
it's no secret what's happening with us
with the ice raids and things like that
minorities being unfairly targeted not
African Americans in this sense but I
feel like if you're not American
and you support that you have to forget
that you wouldn't born and raised in
America brah you weren't you know I may
you may have been but our ancestors were
brought over here so it's like saying
it's youth next but it's no secret with
what's happening with with our Hispanic
and our Mexican brothers and sisters and
and I'm saying that why isn't the church
praying for this to stop why you know
why is it why which is the one who are
seeing this as an injustice and you're
not in fact you're supporting this
because you say well he's anti-abortion
you know so I'm going to support him and
that's like your only basis man but I'm
like but you're not seeing what's
happening to people who came over here
seeking asylum who are seeking a better
way of life because the bottom line is
America has it we are abundant in
resources it's like as soon as America
gets turned on to anything it becomes
like sushi in things like that it really
quickly becomes a product that's gonna
turn into genetically modified and all
that stuff because we are gluttonous in
our behavior and so we have enough to
share which is greedy and we don't want
to say that but but my points like why
are these witches or Wiccans or whatever
you want to call them the first to
realize this in the churches
nah man you talkin about the same people
who thought Obama was the Antichrist so
I'm Dom I'm you lost me there
he's come and gone you know and then
they didn't you know in it they've
preached this stuff you know what I'm
saying it this man there is there's a
real gullible people out there and
that's the whole problem with you know
the what we call the American Church is
the fact that if you have a lot of
people who were in the church because
they were addicted to drugs a lot of
drug addicts a lot of people who were in
bad marriages and abusive situations and
so there are real a lot of people who
are emotionally unstable right and so
you get them into this place where
they're able to just they need to be
told what to do they need to be told not
to smoke crack they need to be you know
encouraged not to smoke crack you know
it's all of this kind of stuff you know
because the whole Latin word for
religion religio meaning binder to hold
back and to like for you to be in that
so a lot of people drop one bondage
whether it's drug addiction or whatever
and it but they pick up another when not
even knowing it religious you know
absolute like I said before I do know
some awesome pastors who do have the
greater understanding of what it is
they're doing and it is a safe place to
go to their ministry and because they
don't believe in holding people to a
bondage such as that they do allow
freedom and love to operate and flow in
their ministries but for the most part
this idea of what is a church has become
so skewed because a like you said
sometimes it's not the brightest folk to
be honest with you sometimes not the
brightest folk that um decide to take up
the mantle take up the mantle um you
know they're not the brightest you know
I've run across folks I couldn't read
and you know we understand that uh they
get the readers and stuff in the in the
in the
because it can read you know so reading
comprehension is a real issue
and so they don't understand or they
don't look at the Bible in and of itself
as what it is I do believe that it is
the Word of God it is a portion of the
Word of God however I still look at it
as a historical text as well I still
look at it as a story as well so I look
at it from all these different
perspective the uses of allegory and and
all the writing mechanics that go into
this this book and look at it for what
it is from all these different
perspectives and from that really
drawing out or really bringing out what
it is it's saying okay well gee when
Jesus we spoke about the washing of the
feet before yes okay you know what the
wash gonna feed their feet was dirty
that was customary you know to to offer
a traveler someone who's walking a good
dirty saying or yeah
so come eat dinner it's good to make
them feel refreshed yeah pastors were
pedicures and manicures doing feet
washing today stick my foot in their
water to pay $35 for but it comes in
different forms and just from what I see
is we have to in some form of some way
this was my statement to my husband and
when I started exploring it he expressed
concern if God be God then I'm good you
know I still believe in this almighty
god that has me even in my exploration
I'm good and so I want to say to people
is that don't be fearful of saying okay
I understand that
I believe this for so long but I gotta
just say this don't sit well with me
because this is not what Jesus taught
this is like a total
opposite of contradiction to what he
taught and I see this happening and I'm
not good with it that's the only way
we'll ever evolve as a people and that's
the only way people will ever get free
if we truly are doing one is for the
freedom of people if we are really doing
this for that purpose yeah but there's
so many people who are fearful because
it's been taught that if you touch me if
you say something against me no matter
what it is nothing you can have five
women in a shirt pregnant but you can't
talk about that because you go die if
you do you know that's I was really
taught that ya know people who yeah
let's see you know straight wickedness
going on and their church and I mean
look at just look at uh Eddie long I
mean how he died yeah you know and and
and uh but when that whole scandal was
going on they were interviewing church
leaders we stand with them we gonna
stand with them he's already past it
like that man is uh having sex with
little boys teenagers young men like and
having orgies like this your pastor we
don't stand with him he's the man of God
that God put over us is like what's
really really okay let's see what's
happening here strong delusion you know
and they just let anything fly and you
know that's what happens man and a lot
of these these churches you know it's
it's scary Church at the church I got
born again under right I didn't get born
again under this so I got I got saved or
whatever got into really dark witchcraft
and then started going to this church
and I called all these churches I needed
prayer one pastor answered called us
back came over to pray with us
started bringing us to church it was
like a regular Assemblies of God Hosanna
Assembly God and Hammond Louisiana and
you know and there was nothing weird
they were pastors they had evangelists
come out and they were people of God now
they were charismatic they marched
around the church seven times and
shouted with a loud you know they did
all these kind of little weird
charismatic things that we do and you
know but that was normal for a lot of
Christendom to do little weird quirky
stuff like that but come to find out
like two years later you know that
church changed drastically and this
church was having a animal sacrifice
were swapping out each other's children
for it to have sex and the pastor's was
in on it
teachers and people in law enforcement
they were all in on it
it became something really weird and
this is a regular everyday Church
Hosanna Assembly of God and they ended
up making a you know that a television
show true detective was actually based
off of the church I used to go to I
didn't I've never seen anything like
that we I wasn't there long enough I was
excellently there just a couple weeks
before we moved but um very interesting
because when we used to go back and
visit Louisiana as in Hammond you're
close right you're like 40 miles maybe
if that yeah do you remember when that
happened I don't know let me tell you
something when I was in the church I was
in a church there was nothing on my TV
but TV in yeah you know creflo Joseph
Prince but so I didn't even pay
attention yeah to everything else all I
can say is when I woke up I woke up but
the thing is that's the interesting
thing because I was truly as a student
in a follow of Christ I didn't need
outside influences I didn't need the
news to break a story that said this is
going on it's just horrible my own
relationship with Christ the Holy Spirit
that lives on the inside of me will say
you see that that's not right that's the
interesting thing about it so it's like
people can't even say that I was even
influenced by anything else because it
was just my own study of the Bible
there's no confirmation ship that made
me look at things and go oh that's not
cool yeah that's like that's like I know
Jesus clearly says this so and from my
understanding although we like to say
the New Covenant doesn't make the Old
Covenant obsolete but I believe strongly
in the New Covenant and I believe it's
there for a purpose and if you really
pay attention to what happened in the
Old Covenant
and the under the Old Testament and what
happens in the New Testament while there
are were reasons and purposes behind
everything that happened from the animal
sacrifices I understood with what the
human sacrifice the one human sacrifice
me if that meant while it may not be
completely obsolete which you know
there's something that would beg to
differ
I did see how Jesus was trying to
encourage people to evolve in their
understanding and when I saw certain
things go down inside of the church
house inside of buildings it really
definitely I got to a point where I just
had a flat-out attitude sometimes like
if I go to an engagement and we get to
that point in the service of the
offering and they'd be like you know
well praise the Lord you know we got to
get to a certain number I instantly get
an attitude oh I wouldn't even good hide
it it wasn't even that anything outside
of my authority you have a frown on your
face and I say hey God loves a cheerful
Giver and they make you smile about
giving your last 15 dollars you just oh
you know we talked about and we talked
about your heart being in it and all
that other stuff right now and none of
that in this so I'm just keep my money
in my pocket no return on it because my
you know I understand this I get
cheerfully where I'm cheerful and I
don't worry I don't and I don't you know
I'm still having this rundown ending I
mean I've even survived almost dying we
still good safe you know let me ask you
about the disconnect that comes though
so like you move in a lot of like
spiritual circles and you really notice
when you really no respecter of person
like God
you're right when they come when it
comes to that so with the how does the
language go and like being okay from
your old church friends maybe trying to
judge you or step out and say okay
you're a psychic now or because you run
in psychic circles and you have seen you
want a psychic podcast or whatever the
cases and so they want to put you in
these labels in these boxes and stuff
like there's a disconnect and I had it
at some point most people go through it
right I remember having friends of mine
who wanted to come on the podcast and
share their stories about mmm psilocybin
magic mushrooms they've had beautiful
encounters with Jesus on magic mushrooms
right and they wanted to talk about it
and I said look hold on you can't you
can't come on the show and talk about it
unless you're okay with sharing this on
your Facebook page oh I can't even oh
you know my dad my mom oh you know my
boss you know all this kind of stuff
where's the disconnect there of owning
up to who you are and being okay with it
whether it is talking about Jesus to the
New Agers or talking about mushrooms to
the Christians right that's kind of
where I'm a vide to deal with that and
so that was a big disconnect about who
gets to see what and there's still
people who as they're transitioning they
want it to go smoothly they want to
control the transition right and you
know because if they get wind of that
then they'll just throw everything you
set out the window because there's a
schism oh you believe this sorry you're
done you know how did that go and how is
it going now is there still some of that
there about your name and who gets to
see what and any of that kind of go on I
am I I'm an Aries right okay so I know
this is about the mess with a few
Christians but this has always been the
case for me um an Aries my is my
astrological sign and I am a firm
believer if you open the dictionary and
look up that word you will see my
picture next to it I am Aries - my name
I don't mind conflict
I don't mind - to the degree of where
words necessarily so to answer your
question
when I first began to be enlightened or
awakened to this more expansive science
spirituality while still acknowledging
Jesus as my Lord still imagined
acknowledging Jehovah God the great I am
is my divine source it was a cognitive
disconnect but I have this undeniable it
is no and I just can't be quiet it's not
in me it's not in me however I did have
to recognize you know for my aunt's for
instance my husband's do chooses to do
music as a Christian artist so now I
have to be mindful that it's not just me
involved I have you know my husband
involved yeah but um Wow the
disenfranchisement hurt
meaning that whenever I did decide to be
open about what I was experiencing what
I was learning my personal journey the
disconnection from the people that I had
truly build relationships with to see
those disintegrate into here from
third-party sources that this person is
not a relationship with you because
they're afraid of the image that you
that you'd bring upon them yeah would it
hurt it hurt it hurt but I can't be
untruthful to me and so there there is a
disconnect and there was a disconnect
and even now I'm more mindful now as
I've matured in this particular leg of
my journey because I just makes I've
never done we're never gonna be done I'm
more mindful now that I was at the
beginning at the beginning I was way
more outspoken but I'm more mindful now
because I realized that I don't you know
when it comes to my husband although we
we love Jesus we love worship but people
really have a cognitive disconnect when
you bring in
will you say to them for instance I when
I first put out my my documentation
stating that I was maybe reading tarot
cards and things like that a lot of
backlash from fellow Christian and I'm
first my my profession in the secular
world as you will was a digital marketer
so I understood that the use of stern
verbiage bring a certain type of people
and I would say that I'm like first of
all this is marketing it doesn't change
what I say when they come to me it
doesn't change my belief system this is
marketing right now and quite frankly I
feel better being honest about the fact
that you're gonna I'm gonna eat off of
my services and I'll have to manipulate
you for it you know so I had to really
explain that to people it doesn't really
but but again it was a disconnect for
everybody else it really hurt it really
hurt a whole I went through a lot of
things privately and emotionally and a
lot of regret but on the flip side I
can't be not true to my truth I can't I
can't I can't
and so while it caused some pain for me
it didn't it didn't stop the show it
didn't stop what I was doing it didn't
stop and it hasn't stopped you know I've
operated a little bit more quietly now
and I don't feel like I have to blame
Blair because one major major major
revelation that I got whenever I did
start expanding on my belief system was
that my walk is truly personal it's
truly personal it doesn't have to be
subject to popular opinion I don't have
to put it out there for the world to see
I don't have to whereas under
Christianity under religion it was
always taught that you had to be public
oh you really don't believe
but I'm realizing that it don't it
doesn't have to be I could still do me
and I could have a conversation with
someone and it could never come up and
I'm good with that
because anywhere I go I still operate
how I operate I'm still the same person
I could use the word Jesus 50 times and
I can use it zero times it doesn't
change what I believe and it doesn't
change who I am and that was the biggest
thing that at one point I found myself
explaining and then at another point I
said I don't have to explain this to you
you know and then that really threw a
lot of people for a loop too because
according to their title they have
authority but when I started saying you
know what why like did you call and
check on me when I almost died did you
make sure that my family yeah it's too
many it's too many it's been too long
it's been too long yeah I could be dead
or in jail or have a destroyed marriage
and you wouldn't give a damn but quite
opposite on the flip side a really good
marriage I'm thriving in my business my
relationships are thriving God is it's
continuing to increase my ministry my
life and everything is going amazing
now you're secretly envious you know
what I'm saying
but um you but that shows you though you
don't think it's time is something else
man time is not on your side really it's
working against our bodies in our
relationships and we have to work and
cultivate things like that and so once
years have been removed and you see
people you haven't seen in years and
I've been thinking about yeah you get
out of my face with that you know I've
been thinking about you and that that
was the thing like I talked to a guy
used to minister way and it hurt me when
I went through that thing too you know
because I was they called we did
ministry together you know and they said
they loved you and all that kind of
stuff and then I talked to him some some
months later after they had been
gossiping and all kind of stuff and
they're like we've been praying for you
bro what you know we've been praying for
you I'm like damn your prayer a phone
call would have been just fine yeah
phone call would have been better than
that prayer bro call me and let me know
that you know you pray for me over the
phone some of y'all gossiping
okay let's pray and that's item gossiped
that you know the prayer meetings
turning into gossip parties yeah we got
a pray y'all we gotta pray we gotta pray
really nice ax is a damn psychic let's
pray what oh yeah she posted on Facebook
tarot cards jingle will you fell on my
heart no Negro I fell on your face cuz
I'll go keep it 100 like I'm gonna say
hey your name fell on my facebook feed
and I saw this I didn't follow your
heart I feel like I knew with this and
the interesting thing when I tried to
which no I don't even try to anymore but
when I did was was tried to say do you
understand I operate by the same gifts
that you were shouting about though when
I practice are not over you like just
think about this for a second I haven't
started praying to anybody differently
before I have my cards here you know as
I shuffle my cards and my prayer was
Holy Spirit give me the guidance for
this individual for their highest good
this is what I'm shuffle this is what
I'm asking and I'm still pretty accurate
so I would believe that if I was doing
this and still saying Jesus help me Holy
Spirit guide me and this and that that I
wouldn't be able to operate successfully
under the name that I am if we believe
the same guy that we're talking about
that if he was gonna strike me dead
because I decide to use this term
instead of that term I use this word
asunder that word and my heart was
different than what it was then I'm
praying to somebody different I believe
that would show I believe that would be
evident but the fact that I've got an
even more christ-like the math effect
I've gotten more tolerant the VAD could
have gotten more loving like you haven't
even seen that you haven't even seen
this person you haven't met me at this
point you still refer to the person you
thought you knew but you don't even know
me at this point so you can't even make
a judgment call because you're not even
making an attempt to see my fruit
get to know my Fortis and sis let's go
out to lunch let's talk yeah you know
let me let me hear was on your heart let
me hear what God is telling you in this
season you know let's you're not even
saying that you're just taking one thing
that you see and because it doesn't
connect for you you're saying oh well I
saw your name on some sis why are you
reading tarot cards why are you doing
this and I'm like alright get on my
inbox with this foolishness you know and
that's really my response at this point
you know it was like by the first time I
post it was the first time I used these
terror of the most highs what they're
called and uh and they're really cool
they're they're different and they have
the Christian they have a Christian
correlation or like a biblical
correlation to what like the queen of
staff's and all that kind of stuff I
can't read Terra I don't know much but
there's but they it kind of makes it
easy for me because I can't but I can
I can't read the cards but I can read
the Holy Ghost right
here's here's one here it says the five
of swords right I have no idea what the
hell the five of swords is myself you
know you may I don't but at the at the
top it says reputation right and so I
use them the same way if we're in prayer
and I use these cards for the first time
in and I remember table we're taking
collars on on a psychic line right and
I'm praying in the Holy Spirit asking
God for a word for these people praying
in Jesus name I'm doing I'm even like my
Christian ease is even on point really
but I'm pulling these cards I don't even
have to tell you that I'm pulling a card
I use these for me I really don't use
them they're they're a tool right and in
every card that I pulled it had
something to do with the caller who was
on on the line and it blew my mind
because I'm wanting to know myself okay
God is this something that I can do is
this something am i dealing with the
demonic realm of this way or can the
Holy Spirit really use this card and
help me pray and it didn't people
haven't breakthrough people were in
tears people's lives were being changed
over the telephone and then and and and
I did I wouldn't have tried it
just on hey they're tarot cards I've
done and I've got a video out I've done
uh uh you know immense of study on
casting Lots in the Bible and the
prophets and the disciples all practice
the ancient divination practice of
casting Lots
whether you want to call that the luck
of the draw where does that term come
from these cards the luck of the draw
father what would you say father what is
it succession success okay pray for
success whatever it is and really to see
the God use something like that just
like he used the lots in the scriptures
casting of lots he'd never I don't think
that ever came to an end people in they
just kind of interject the only the only
thing where people say is that well now
that we have the Holy Spirit we don't
need that like he uses that it speaks to
us you don't need it you don't need
anything nothing you know but it they're
tools that God has given us and we can
use them and there's a bunch of them and
they did in the scriptures and if it was
good enough for them why not in a bloom
on but I remember when I posted and I
cause I think I called them tarot cards
I didn't say you know I said you know
I've said man and my first encounter
using these tarot cards was amazing and
all my Christian friends were like in
boxing me and say hey I'm about to
unfriend you I'm like why are you gonna
unfriend me like if I'm struggling if
I'm really in some deep dark witchcraft
what you think I am probably should
embrace me you probably should reach out
to me you know versus just click that
block button because I posted something
about a tarot card that's the weird
thing you know and especially when it
was like dealing with outreach for me we
did a lot of outreach you would go to
the hood I don't know why we'd always go
to the hood fowleri just why don't know
why we didn't go to white suburbia we
always went to the hood that's something
too good just a poor God is with the
poor why I will see y'all go preach out
and you will get arrested if you go out
there this is poor in spirit okay
that's what they see we like to
conveniently call these scriptures but
then we leave a huge chunk out is
important
spirits so that could be anybody I'm not
gonna do it well we're going to the
garden crazy well you know even to take
that back even further you know I was
talking about David and his Aoife David
would say Holy Spirit you know if you
said God what should I do next and and I
love the day story of David because
David operated and grace before Grace
was in the thing okay so he was really
operating under the new covenant
principles before it was a thing that
that's what made David a man of gods
after God's own heart okay a lot of
people don't even understand that they
look at his life and what he did but he
wasn't afraid to ask for forgiveness
because he was asking for forgiveness
and a time where basically you did wrong
you messed up you drop dead but he he
wasn't afraid to live and live his life
and say you know what yes Lord I've seen
that woman and I got a husband killed
and yes we made a baby and I'm sorry but
I look back at David is he fighting that
also you know shows me that but let me
give you a little secret
I don't know what the fiber sword mean
either I don't need my loot you're
calling us with a reader and that's a
snake now which is why I try to explain
to people that your grandma's new age is
different than this movement that you're
saying happening now they like to
associate the two and they're really not
because right now people are just being
taught that's happened to their divine
source their innate nature the Spirit
that lives on the inside of you the
god-given spirit and it's saying that we
can pick up these cards or whatever we
choose to or we want to look at numbers
and say okay Lord should I go left or
right and all of a sudden on a clock we
see 11:11 at the moment we need to make
the decision and we go okay yeah I got
you Lord thank you you know thank you
for that you know and we want to look at
that and call it demonic and numerology
but again if I'm consulting the Most
High God the spirit yeah the spirit
about these things and this is the
answer that I'm getting
you to say that is not God like who are
you like what gives you the authority to
dictate how God moves when we have a
perfect example of Oh billion in Christ
a perfect example of what rebellion
against the status quo and the standard
of the time Jesus did it he walked in
the temple he opened the the word it
said the Spirit of the Lord is upon me
for he had anointed me to preach the
gospel to the poor and they were
offended because he was asserting that
he was talking about him so my question
is who are you to discount what looks
like a rebellion to you you have not
tried me by the spirit you have not
talked to me in fact you're just
uncomfortable because I'm giving you
site or I'm opening you up to something
that looks like nothing that you've ever
dealt with before and you know you want
to block me because you don't want to
see it because obviously in your heart
you're not deciding you're doing it
because everybody else say a word but if
I extra about your personal experience
like for real for real if I got you to a
place where you really being honest you
would say you know what since I've been
doing this I wasn't I see no miracles
yeah you know that's yeah you're right
you know what though cuz I had so many
people like it was gossip and it was
always like through third parties you
know Hayes also said this or hey man let
me ask you about this and it was stuff
because of what somebody said but I'll
tell you what almost 100 percent of the
times there were two things that
happened one the first thing was when I
would get somebody on the phone and I
would be able to talk to them I would
win them over I would use the scripture
and show them my means at least show
them what I mean by what I'm this is a
weird stuff you see and I would win them
over to some of those people who lash
out and gossip and backbiting
for the most part there was the majority
would come back and repent God would put
it on their heart eventually to say hey
man I'm
even though I I've been gossiping about
you my own pastor pulled me to side at a
tent meeting tent revival I happened to
go to and say hey man I got a I got a
repent I've been gossiping about you it
was like damn and even now I'm think we
said it is convicted and it's like tell
the people go back and write the wrong
go tell the people you gossiped about
you know and I've had people to like
inbox all of my friends and say stay
away from him and then the next day
they'll inbox it by hey I'm sorry he's
really a man of God you know what I'm
saying you got to talk to him they'll
see something there's people who would
listen to the conversation and listen to
see our prayer services that we do on
the on the internet and some like that
and they'll see like an image of some
sacred geometry or whatever and they'll
turn it off and they don't listening to
the message they don't see the fruit
they don't understand that there's you
know tons of people who are not gonna
step a foot in church and we got them
for two hours to to hear the message of
the grace of Christ and you know
whatever the cases they don't see that
because it's not in the way that they're
used to seeing it so but trying to
continue to be accepted by those people
who don't even accept themselves you're
gonna add that's where the confusion
comes in and that's where you're gonna
be you're gonna continue running in
circles of trying to live two lives
because you have to be a yes man you
have to agree and you have to conform
and you have to fit in this box and if
you don't with everything not just some
things any of it and I had a and I
talked about this but some good friends
of mine they were on this way awakening
process with me they're on the journey
with me they've seen it they've stuck by
me but they started going to like
visiting different churches and stuff
and they would have Holy Ghost
encounters at church and that's good I
believe them good I love holy ghost
encounters right but but they would want
me that man I wish truth was here
because we used to travel and evangelize
and stuff like that we've had deep
encounters together
I wish troops was here then they were
like you know talking about how I can't
they dealt maybe it's you know I'm
saying the devil won't let him come to
church or whatever but little did they
know like the week but
for I woke up early because I was gonna
go to church with them you know I was
gonna finally take them up and then they
didn't go to church that way dating
cause nad and Ashland my cause their
bras up getting ready man ready to go to
y'all sure to visit and so they're like
yeah I think this I think the devil's
got something on you said you can't go
to you won't let you go to try that fool
I tried to come to church y'all didn't
go and um but then it's got me cuz like
and this was watchman I'll just talk
about it but he I had to die that I had
to let him know us at low dude you're
going to this church is old
hole-in-the-wall backwards Church where
the Holy Ghost is you're encountering
the Holy Ghost good I'm for it I love it
but you're working on an album called
the Ascension right now that talks about
summoning UFOs it talks about the
Kundalini you're talking about speaking
in tongues and channeling the Holy
Spirit and being visited by how you're
intelligent beings if they knew that you
were working on this album they will cut
your head off dude they would yeah
you're right yeah what do you want me to
go to someone and I have to play the
hypocrite the hypocrite is somebody who
wears a mask then you have to come there
but you can't be yourself you have to
act like you don't do that I don't
listen to the true seeker I'm not
friends with him I don't like a meter
you know you you know I'm saying that's
what happens oh I don't I've been
praying for Aneesa to manage all of this
the gossip and stuff done and all the
backbiting but it's part of it man it's
part of that land of confusion and you
have to conform to everything you have
to explain yourself watchman what do you
mean by that you know you're done you're
done so don't try you trying to be
accepted man if you live for the
acceptance of people you're going to die
by their rejection of them or their
misunderstanding what you know was so
interesting though and I've been a part
of this one of the biggest term before
it became an awakening process where I
was open to spirituality before that
there was a period I had been dealing
with illness that I had never dealt with
before and when
to the doctor and got diagnosed with and
was given all the types of healed
depression in the church anxiety in the
church I'm a minister preacher teacher
of the gospel but I got diagnosed with
all this stuff in the church like many
of us all right some of us just don't go
and get one
yeah we just read it but I got diagnosed
with all the stuff in the church and
honestly I wasn't answering truthfully
two questions he asked me I wouldn't
flame with the guy but when he wrote up
their paper I was like oh yeah you're
chronically depressed you're lazy I'm
like okay so they gave me all these
pills to treat and as well as a lot of
physical things I had going on with me I
made the decision to start medicating
with marijuana and I sought out the I
did my research I did and I found a
collective that service people out of
state and they did it legally and I got
my cold marijuana recommendation you
know honestly I did not lie or or cut
any corners to get it I got all this
stuff honestly and that was actually the
first thing that made Christian my
Christian friends Goku what's wrong with
that now let me tell you the killer part
about this though the thing is is that
issue wasn't that me I chose to medicate
this way or I chose to deal with my
illnesses this particular way that issue
was is that maybe I just wasn't
secretive about it as I should have been
because all these individuals they had
to have two clinics they had their
church persona they went and they led
worship and they did but they had to do
in front of people and then they had you
know they lived multiple lives literally
seriously they lived multiple eyes and
their issue with me and was that I
refused like marijuana is something that
grows out of the earth and everything
that was clear was pretty area we got
created early said it was good as it is
and I found a way to follow the law of
the land and use a healthier way to
treat my conditions if you will and all
this other thing that you're really mad
because I just wouldn't gonna live
like about it then I'm open and honest
about you know marijuana reform and all
that other stuff in America and all like
you're mad cuz I'm opening islands about
there you're not mad that I'm doing it
you don't care that I actually do it you
don't care what I do with my private
time you're just mad because I'm open
about it in it
you're afraid that it will reflect
poorly on you because honestly you don't
have the goods I'm gonna say I'm not
gonna say the word I won't say what you
don't have the goods to stand on this on
your own two feet yeah and they'll and
they'll do it in the secret and not tell
everybody but then you do it openly yeah
that was the whole thing too like the
whole and that's part of the disconnect
we got to get over there
whatever embrace it cuz if you want
healing to come if you want freedom to
come to people who are who feel the same
type of way inwardly they do most of us
aren't Trailblazers we're we're
Trailblazers because we speak on it
openly and we come to terms with who we
are and who we were created in Christ to
be right and and once we speak about it
openly then freedom can come to other
people if you keep it to yourself and
act like you know you don't want nobody
to see it you know then you don't say
nobody's gonna get healed from that you
have to confess it man and be okay with
it on whatever it is it's not that but
that's okay you're just okay with your
sin or whatever it no that's not the
case it's the fact that uh you know I'm
just I'm comfortable in my body right
and I know who God has created me to be
and I'm okay with it now and I know it
and so your freedom to be okay with this
stuff even your flaws or your sins look
I have shortcomings look I have
character defects look I get depressed
look I take medication gene living by
faith you know all of these weird things
that go on you're okay with it and
they're not so your freedom the freedom
that you found in Christ has it's
intimidating to them because they're
they're bound by tradition they're bound
by their judgments and opinions of other
others and I had people tell me look I
wish I can I wish I can do what you're
doing will you wish what kind of wish
what you got a
it and that's what killed me with a lot
of my friends it killed me but it was
good but God chose me to do what I'm
doing right because I was the only one
in my circles who would speak about this
stuff openly you know whether and if
something I always point back to
mushrooms just because it's a
controversial topic it's not like we're
going out doing mushrooms every day or
something but I'll talk about it because
it was a life-changing encounter and I
know a bunch of Christians who have had
a life-changing encounters with Christ
on psilocybin mushrooms but they won't
talk about it because of their job they
won't talk about it because of their
parents or whatever so you're forcing me
to talk about it because you won't write
you know what I'm saying and so they
Envy that freedom they wish they could
be that free you know and I've had them
tell me and I wish I could talk about it
but I can't you know I have a job which
is something some of it's understandable
but you know don't be wishing do you
create your reality in the life that you
want you you make it you notice and so
if you want it you know if it's a life
that you have to pretend that no yeah
that's not of God or whatever the case
says that's on you that's the most
beautiful part about this journey is
that it it has definitely been a
manifested reality for me that I can
truly be me and unfortunately it does
mean that I'm not gonna be voted most
popular I'm not gonna be the first
person that's called to lead worship I'm
not gonna be the first person that they
pray that people call for prayer but on
the contrast is he's the beautiful thing
about it people who go to the lengths to
seek out psychics or spiritual workers
or whatever you want to call it very
thin Louis they need to talk to me about
things that they can never talk about in
the church and I've been able to truly
help people find freedom and healing
from these things that plague them
because they could never
to their pastor or the Christian friends
or the Christian mother because they
would be told if they did they were
demonic and the interesting thing to me
is that believers Christians well those
are two different things to me but um
look we're far too okay with putting
people in the ground behind some of this
stuff which were far too happy ok
burying people behind a lot of this
stuff and when that's never when Jesus
said life more abundantly what he's
talking about talked about raising
people from the dead
when he were talking about healing these
things were far too happy putting people
in the ground as good Christians who we
are I've been living life authentically
and I'm walking in that power and that's
the saddest thing to me because we chose
to medicate with a method that was more
sustainable for me which was more
helpful for my body based on studies
based on
I mean honestly everybody got a uncle
that smoked right and this uncle lives
to be 95 100 500 and if we look back in
our families we all got that uncle that
Auntie that you know that always was
real with this temper 100 they lived to
a ripe old age sickness didn't get them
back I mean we just look at the social
proof of these things but we still can't
understand that I'm like why you okay
with me killing myself like you look at
the ads for these pharmaceutical
medicine they say may cause dysentery
may cause sudden blindness may cause
muscle weakness like you okay we're
coming to pray for me because I didn't
took all these people and I can't
control my bowels anymore you know what
I'm saying you know that's all good
purpose is to renew this you lost
control of my bowels now no but you
would rather that happen to me than we
find something that really is good for
me and that to me is crazy that to me is
crazy
I remember talking to a good friend of
mine who at the time I was very hurt
young people can say that there for you
but the holux fear would never you can
feel that things have changed you can
feel the shift you can feel it is
different and I was really hurt because
I felt it they were saying one thing
with their mouths but their actions and
everything else is doing something
different yeah and I'm telling this
person I said you know what if the
doctors prescribed you five prostitutes
a day and you would be well I would be
the first one in a front row with a
shirts that go I love prostitutes
because it healed you because I love you
but you let this one thing that was
disconnected with you you don't even
talk to me the same anyone you don't
even you you've seen how what's going on
with me physically has affected me you
you see it you see how I can't breathe
you see how I tremor and Shake in my
private time you've seen all of this
well because it doesn't fit into your
Christian world you've allowed it to
change your perception of me you've
allowed it to but you're not even
looking at me and it is so strange
how okay we are with that as a people
and and I'm thinking to myself no I'm
thinking God pretty okay with you living
you know like so whatever we got to keep
you alive let's do it it down you know
but I'm that type of a friend and I have
that kind of understanding but I just
find it really sad that we are capable
people dying on my watch
people come in suicide people going
crazy mentally crazy yeah yeah well came
with bad and we just said we just go
pray with him and I'm like he caught you
know you saying Jesus go to the hospital
we said you go when he gave us the power
you know when he must ability to do
these things but you withhold your
healing from me because it doesn't look
like what you think is to look like and
that's the
saddest thing about all of it to me that
really cut me to the core but it's also
the thing that made me new the decision
I made to walk my path was right because
I'm saying it continued in the path that
you're awful is the right thing to do I
don't think I want to do it because that
means I have to sit back and watch
people die I have to watch people go
down I have to watch their mental health
decline I have to watch it because
that's the path because that's how you
say it's supposed to look and I don't
like that
so either you allow God like somebody's
alive and I'm just not gonna sit back
and allow that I can't I can't do that I
can't do that it doesn't sit well with
me at all it doesn't resonate with the
God in me to do that especially when
Jesus said you go you do you heal you
deliver you set free you do this you
shall put every time machine when
there's so many use and when the
responsibility that's so funny cos that
we will talk about that right and how it
reflects us but I'll have like
Christians even come on the pot on here
to like like in the chat or whatever and
they're like it's all about you you you
you what about him is like he puts the
ball in your court it's how you respond
to him what okay you've responded now
what you know what is you know now what
really like because there's like
millions of Christians and millions of
people just sitting in churches and not
doing what what God has called you to do
or them to do you have to do something
you have to respond you have to take a
buff about faith and walk with it you
have to do something it requires you
your coat you you you colabor with the
Lord you are created in Christ Jesus to
do good works you not him he you know he
sends you out
it's a sending he sends who the Holy
Spirit no he sends you full of the Holy
Spirit and just people are just like
that I think people even they're just so
precautious that they don't want to take
any glory away from God or any glory
away from Jesus they're like that's all
they do is just say Jesus I did
understand that that that they're
walking in the power that they are doing
it that they are anointed by the Father
and to sin and to go into these realms
you know so the interesting thing is
even when I operate under these gifts
whether we want to call it
sidekick word a knowledge word of wisdom
Reiki healing energy healing laying on
of hands which are all the same thing by
definition if you really took time to do
this I'm I'm trying to break that down
because I haven't seen it done but I'm
be looking for that I'm working on yeah
you know whether you wanna call it that
when people come back to me whether or
not they have a relationship with Christ
or God and they come back to me and they
see results my first response is always
praise God right I may have not have
never used the word Jesus while talking
to you I may have never used the word
God because I'm wise enough to know that
when you're working with different
people as Paul talked about a whole lot
I'm wise enough to know what language to
will cause a cognitive disconnect in
people and will prevent them from
receiving a healing or information or
whatever they need to know that maybe I
can't say these words right now you know
but in my private time and my personal
time with my head hits the pillow at
night lord thank you for allowing me to
be a vessel thank you for allowing me to
be used as oh by you thank you for
allowing me to be a conduit of your love
to these people and that's really
important it's like I don't care to have
to convince the world that I love Jesus
that I'm a follower of Christ and that
God is my god I don't care to convince
you any more I'll ever have to stand in
front of you again in hell problem right
but when my head is the pillow at night
when me and my husband have our private
conversations amongst ourselves my
husband know what's up you know my
family know that people that are closest
to me well you can't do that openly
Beneatha why you were
even Jesus right it was like it's not
even about being a shame because again
if you would actually let's go if you
listen if you feed me you'll get all the
information you know I'm telling that
right now but those who watching it
quietly and and just will say nothing
because I shared it on my page - I
probably should go get all the
information you want to know about my
wall sue she would buy you anything for
the world to see in case it's a question
wait like if you took time to really
talk to me if you find out that it's not
about being ashamed I know right I put
out a uh I put out a quote on Facebook a
couple years ago when I was going
through my Awakening and it was uh I'm
not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus
Christ however I am ashamed of the
Western Church and what it has been come
I'm ashamed of that
I'm ashamed to say I'm a part of that
you know what I'm saying and that's not
you know that that shouldn't be that
shouldn't be I'm not ashamed of the body
of the truth the Bride of Christ I'm not
ashamed of that but what we call Church
in America does not resemble biblical
Christianity by any means that means let
me let me ask you this one last question
here this was a question in the chat
from I think home sauce asked this
question wanted to know and this is cuz
probably this is a new term for some
people what's the difference between you
said worship everybody knows what
worship music is or worshiping God what
is prophetic worship being led
prophetically in worship and I know you
kind of went into it for a minute at the
beginning but give that a little bit of
you know detail of what it means to be
led prophetically in worship to be a
prophetic worship leader so prophetic
worship is going to be an issue for the
perfectionist the perfection musician
because that means wherever you let to
go inside this that's where you're going
and I remember working with musicians
who would be irritated and I've had some
musicians who enjoyed the idea of
working with me for that reason but I've
also had musicians that were irritated
with working with me because I go to
rehearsal and practice and honestly that
rehearsal in that prac
which for us to learn a vibe together
which is why we need more than one we
don't just do one but for us to learn to
vibe together to flow in the holy spirit
together and for you to begin to trust
your innate and for me to trust mine and
for us to flow together but the first
thing is it's not a worship service
where you all your music is on the
program mm-hmm
sometimes it happens sometimes it don't
I'm sorry I truly am for those who are
perfectionist at their craft yeah but
but it's not a perfectionist game it is
a truly 100% I am being led to go
wherever this is leading me know and if
that means I'm gonna stop a song and go
into releasing a word sometimes being a
teacher it'll maybe change the song but
it also means that in the middle of
worship it's gonna look different from
some people for some people but I've
seen it mostly look the same but they're
sometimes mean I'm gonna stop you and
I'm going to give you a story that a
person needs to hear that they're gonna
relate to a lot of the problems with
people who are standing on the pulpit is
that they are seeing with us at some
level of perfection and a lot of times
in worship people need to know that they
can really tap into what's happening and
they don't have to be perfect to do it
like the Spirit of God is there for most
people but for everybody you know and
most I've watched one person the
audience and I've had this happen o
congregation whatever you want to call
it where they all go from being sit down
in a very defensive position during
worship simply not because they don't
want to worship or not because they
don't want to joining or not because
they their way of worshiping is
different but because they for some
reason feel unworthy and after I take a
moment on a ministry moment i watch the
person's hands go from here folded in
defensive to down here to appear because
in that moment I've ministered something
and it
one person in the ministry and I think
that was really the big issue between me
and in the pastor and in the ministry
that I left but I didn't care the whole
church went you know if God sent one
person they needed to hear what I have
to say I'm gonna stop for that one
person I don't care for us to your
church gonna like put me out like like
I'm not here to please them there's not
what my job is
yeah so prophetic worship is definitely
flowing if I had to break it down to one
lover and and I'm not going to say it
has to be a spoken word it has to be
seen because I've seen prophetic worship
where someone will bus out in runs with
a rack if they need to
I've seen it happen where people bus on
advanced yeah you know I've seen it
happen so many ways but whatever it was
it was meeting and it was relevant for
that moment so if I were to define what
prophetic worship is it's being open to
God it's being open to those who you're
used to ministering with is being a
connection of communication between God
and man and saying okay well I feel a
spirit of heaviness I feel a spirit of
depression in this church today okay so
all right musicians we're gonna change
the song we're gonna we're gonna change
it to two yes Lord you know we're gonna
bring some joy you have certain my
mourning into dancing you know we like
it but like we don't rehearse said I
don't care because somebody is mourning
need to be turned into the answer right
now you know somebody needs to know that
or you know some people need to change
their focus to the great I am right now
so you know we're gonna cut all these
songs we're not gonna sing the prayers
your best today because what we don't
need that right now what we need is to
to magnify God in this moment cuz people
need to know that it's about making God
bigger so okay we've got to change the
song so the great Ayhan you know so
that's the gist of it if I explained it
properly I hope that it made sense but
that's really just a minimal it works
yeah is it one where you talk about
doing what you're told to do without any
restraints you know I've been in two
hours of church I've been where the
pastor would just stop we ain't we am
preaching because obviously we need to
contain this thing
we need to continue to let this go forth
how it is and it just happens when you
got inner area it can kind of you write
a problem sometimes yeah but conversely
I do see where structure and order is
there's some I've been in church
services where maybe the minister was
going through something personal and
they were not paying attention to the
congregation and we were like yo we've
been here for three hours
I'm hungry it's time to eat because I
was true the Spirit of God is an
unlimited supply but I am in still in
the human body so my butt's gonna start
hurting I'm tired the children are over
here acting up I'm hungry but again it's
not being connected just one way it's
being connected as I can't do it that's
a comedy you connect it this way you
turn this way
so even you know you're gonna feel when
there's a connection that cuts off from
your people and you're gonna say okay
well yeah they tied we got it we got
stopped yeah I got three more songs
it was crazy not only we traveled out of
town to go to this service to and this
man of God was just so caught up in
whatever God was doing in his life he
wasn't paying attention to the bag that
we all have take into texting each other
and not aware of their surroundings men
yeah they're not aware they're just so
caught up and then you're waiting as a
musician you're waiting for them to go
back to the one which is their resolve
which means in but then you hear them go
to another but your head and go to the
fifth of the third and like wait a
minute
pause he's not done quit playing please
resolve so we can go home I had um I had
some I did like a community podcast were
not a community but I had like two of
the guys with me so
was me and two other guys and we would
interview people and when you do an
interview when there's more than one you
find out really quick that there needs
to be some type of order I asked a
question you asked a question you asked
a question this is the order of me you
you and we're just go in circles so
don't we're not because we'll start
talking over each other other people we
want to answer the questions and it
trust me I've done one interview with me
and another guy and the guests would
respond and we're both talking over each
other each other to try to answer the
guests and it gets really weird so you
need to have some structure to that I
remember having those other two guys on
here we interviewed we did two
interviews and and I guess my other
co-host for a start was starstruck or
something but they talked for like an
hour straight and then didn't let
anybody else talk when it was like first
of all it was like my show you know that
I was putting on and I was like you're
just like your co-host that's gonna help
and they just took up the whole hour it
was like you gotta be aware of your
surroundings like you know I'm saying
and so it's the same way when you're in
an event like that like a public event
where there's other people who are
scheduled to perform or to sing or to
minister or whatever the case is is to
be aware of your surroundings man don't
get so caught up on your own emotions or
V install struct or just you know you
got you got to my wheeze and we just do
some of that intentionally with those
with those things we get that we get
asked to come out and do a show and they
say oh can we get three songs from you
so we're gonna do a song we're gonna
give you our testimonies we're gonna do
another song we're gonna do three
acapellas then we're gonna try to do all
the call and then our third song they're
like what are we tell you our three
songs y'all tryin to take up 45 minutes
thing yep we did that on purpose we had
a thing we take turns doing acapellas
all right our last song is like man
y'all don't benefit 45 minutes gospel
rappers learn how to do that trust me
yeah I know you can easily tell when
there's something later when it's not
when it's for the love of the stage and
I think there was one thing that I had
to definitely put out there when I was
being when I was being reprimanded if
you
will for my for my prophetic worship
they first of all I think you're talking
me that like I enjoy the stage when
honestly on a Sunday morning I'd rather
stay in my bed there's a lot of
narcissism there and I had to you know
get over my intoxication of the applause
the applause of men which is
intoxicating I see why so many people
have lost the limelight like Michael
Jackson or you know sort of the
temptations and stuff like I see why so
many people leave from those particular
situations and leader lifestyles because
I'm not gonna lie to you it's a high
like no other let's look at all let's
look at all the Christian and I'll say
women because it's more obvious but all
the Christian women ministers on TV who
are getting all kind of weird plastic
surgery and work done on their face
because they can't age gracefully they
want to continue that young look we're
talking about Joyce Myers Paul a white
you know we look at Tammy Faye Baker we
look at Jan crouch they had the big
purple hair all this gaudy makeup on you
like hold on
you're supposed to be aging gracefully
now I know why the Scriptures tell my
y'all be careful with all that make and
they've got like it's so weird like that
I mean and that those are just from
Christian examples like they don't want
to you know they don't want to age
gracefully and they look at Hollywood
man I mean they're having these people
are suddenly look like monsters they're
having so much work done you know they
don't want to give up that limelight and
stuff it's really weird man narcissism
and they're just infatuated with their
own reflection you know it's a spirit
man there's so much like you look at
people like Maya Angelou are you lucky
on visit you look at Oprah and these
people who really take and people who I
was taught to hate by the way by the
church yeah until I left the church and
really started to pay attention to these
women's lives on my own that I realized
that way they know who you say they are
but these people who are allowed
the wisdom should be worn on they fit
their face there's a lot to be learned
from a person who looks like wisdom does
it make sense
they look like wisdom they look like the
years and it's not to say to allow
yourself to fall by the wayside not to
take care of yourself but your grades on
your head are a sign of maturity and
growth and all these things and even the
Bible tells us that you know the the
older women should should teach the
younger women and it's like if we living
in a world we don't know who the younger
or the older ones are then that kind of
creates an issue especially if you're in
a lineage of people and there is no
wisdom and so your family is repeating
cycles generational curses are more
prevalent in these families where there
seemingly is no wisdom because the
matriarch of the patriarch chooses to
still look behave think as a child
instead of choosing to age with grace
because there is no wisdom there and
where are we without wisdom right we
need wisdom we need someone to look at
us and say you know what honey
I understand that you're married to this
person but this person gives you the
love and affection you need but I'm here
to tell you that that's not going
anywhere I can tell you that trying to
hold these relationships to relationship
simultaneously will be an issue for you
and that's something that is being lost
the wisdom of our elders the because so
many people are trying to hold on to
their positions they're trying to hold
on to their looks they're trying to hold
on to things where they should really be
preparing to let it go and to move into
their place of wisdom and grace and to
ascend in life if you will or to evolve
to the next place it's something I'm
personally looking forward to I've
already made plans for my locs when I
start degree and everything like I'm
ready to be that grandma to be their
lady with
them you know have you seen what Trump
looks like without without his wig on no
I have not
I'm gonna uh you have do you have
discord pulled up yes I'm gonna show you
then I'll show everybody on stream too
so let me let me um post this in discord
then I'll show stream let's see so the
Lord words that at words that I save it
this internet could be tricky if I could
just drag it in sometimes it work wisdom
be wise in the doom Adams Starseed I
don't want to look like Trump you know
that's that's something to consider that
I look every single one of our
presidents have have aged just
significantly yeah I'm interested to see
what without a chance to look like after
before eight years because for some
reason I just feel like he is the idgaf
type of president so I'm interested to
see those pictures because I'm you want
to talk about manifestation and law of
attraction and loft attachment I think
that man's got it down to a tee weather
he realized that so I'm just interested
to see how he ages because I really
don't think you really care I really
just think he wake up every morning and
I know he may it may be easier for him
right if you don't care I posted it in
discord I posted on the screen this is
Trump without his wig sees it oh I've
never seen interesting look like
goalkeeper you may look exactly like
that we need to keep that feature so I
have a feeling he's gonna look exactly
the same when he was office I really do
I don't know why I feel that way but I
just don't think he cares a whole lot I
don't think he cared about women I don't
think he cared about any of that stuff
you just it just happened so like that's
far you don't believe in the law of
attraction and manifestation I'm just
saying we have a whole president that
did it for me if that's not proof enough
then I don't know what is I just made 35
and somebody said well you can finally
one for president I said I'm half the
man abyss thing we have somebody who
basically showed us that you don't have
to have any qualifications you don't
look good you know he's not the first
celebrity though you know there's
nothing Reagan Reagan was an actor you
know yeah so he was like the one of the
first actors and so but yeah you don't
have to have any qualifications so they
say Kanye might run you know
so I maybe I maybe I don't know that may
be interesting to see Kanye in there but
you know I think that regardless of who
runs away and I always take a fresh
perspective on on global politics as
well as domestic politics is sometimes
needed I feel like sometimes we do need
a fresh set of eyes to take a look at
the thing as if you're also in a place
where you've studied politics then
you're also affected by cycles and all
those things so I don't know I don't I
am in a place now where I've decided I
don't impose my opinion on the person I
talk about the things that the fruit I'm
more talk about the fruit of their works
so as far as the individual I don't
really have an opinion but I do have a
pain about what they do while they're
there so I'm pretty
much open to whatever happens because
right now with this particular
presidency there are people who choose
to focus on the negative but something
that I see that is so beautiful is
people coming together to stand up for
one another like the protests in the
street after he won was one of the most
beautiful things I've seen in a long
time for so long people of different
classes and races have their different
protests right so right now we're seeing
people come together in unity over the
in justices you know we're looking at
what white supremacy looks like we're
looking at what chauvinism looks like
taking a very serious dialogue about
these issues and it's not just coming
from one race it's not just the African
Americans saying oh that is we're
looking at our white brothers and
sisters going hey that's not cool yeah
we're looking at that in this day and
age and we're coming together and we're
really saying it's really weird how does
that happen yeah yeah yeah so it's like
I don't want to say that God didn't put
them there I'm gonna want to say that
God didn't all I'm saying is I'm looking
at the fruit no cuz the way I mean the
weird thing is like we understand like
the whole whipping-boy aspect of it and
you have to like point we have someone
to point the blame map
cuz I'm sorry about this before I don't
I don't think Trump is racist by any
means he was one of the brothers he's in
all the hip-hop videos all the rappers
mention him he's used to hang with all
types of rappers right he dated a black
woman in high school or not not high
school but you know early on in his
career but for some reason he's now so
the the the racist and white supremists
they've kind of like used him as their
spokesman and this he's not racist and
then some people believe he is chops
racist drops
is not racist how did what media are you
watching like what facebook groups are
you a part of what news channels are you
watching that's got you thinking that
Trump is a racist or whatever then like
they all want someone to speak for them
you know what I'm saying and it's like
yeah and it's so it's it's so weird man
they've all just how like you want
someone to you know to side with you or
to you know be for you or make you feel
it's so weird but it is making these
people come out the woodwork though like
you're saying you know yeah he sees one
color in that screen because the whole
attack against our Hispanic and Mexican
brothers and sisters is mainly economic
it's not even about you know the main
gripe from for most people is if they
came to take our jobs and I'm like well
you know the bottom line is would have
to pay you $25 an hour to do what
exactly not going to pay them it ain't
it ain't no Mexican problem if it's
anybody's problem it's it's the white
contractor who's who's paying this money
for 25 Mexican people on a job site and
you're paying them the amount that you
would pay for one person that's
happening totally happening you know so
yeah we have a problem we have a problem
for those people who are doing it and
it's gonna mess them up because they
couldn't afford it yeah couldn't afford
that you know to build these houses and
be able to you know sit upon that much
money for that that easy labor good
labor you know there's a you know it
gets deep this isn't a political show
we're gonna you know but uh you know and
that's it you know it is what it is but
uh renew stop I've enjoyed our
conversation my friend and going into
your story and you know at the end of
the day I think it gives hope for some
people and it's not like we're just
reiterating this religious stuff and
what happens look and lets people know
that there's hope that you're not alone
there's people going through this stuff
in churches where they feel marginalized
or you know they
they disagree with church doctrine you
know and they're saying that they can't
or they can
there was a member of seeing a post
sometime ago when uh some dude said uh
oh my god I can't believe that these
Christians are into astrology you can't
be a Christian and being into astrology
and our Kyle had the comments that you
want to bet on I bet you can't be a
Christian and smoke weed wanna bet
you can't be a Christian to do mushrooms
whatever bet you can't be as Christian
and hang out with psychics you wanna bet
you know what I'm saying and we're
literally changing the narrative of and
bringing it back to what it's supposed
to be letting them know that it's okay
to be different it's okay to you know be
led to to study or to be you know into
other things and it's okay and you can
you don't have to abandon the faith it's
not God it's not Jesus that's doing it
it's people it's people you know just to
let people know look you're not alone
man you're not the only ones going
through this kind of stuff and I think
that that gives hope at the end of the
day that uh you know because people are
abandoning the church people are
abandoning religion or or God enlighten
in many cases they're leaving Jesus
behind because that reminds them of the
old paradigm the judgmentalism the rules
and regulation to control the tithing
all of that weird nasty stuff that comes
with it they they have a disc it's our
feeling that we have to form an opinion
about things is our feeling that we have
to pass judgment on things is really
what stands in our way I'm walking in
the fullness of loving people and loving
life and loving yourself because you
don't have to pass judgment you don't
have to have an opinion who says you
have an opinion those things you have to
make a decision on whether something is
right is right or wrong you can decide
to just be and just observe and to
choose to see life from the other
person's perspective just for a little
while and I
miss you your whole life will time upon
its head it's gonna make you take a look
at yourself and it's gonna make you
question and realize your own level of
programming and make you realize that
you've judged a lot of people a lot of
situations a lot of things unjustly yeah
and when honestly all you were saying
here to do was to love man that was
Jesus's last commandment he just said it
love love you know and so that's not
challenging closing to everybody that is
watching today it's just make a decision
too low for the next week in your life
comebacks judge me don't have an opinion
just choose to love and and watch how
transformative it will be for your life
and and how you impact the people around
you know it's an amazing experience
okay this good stuff walking in love man
well Renee I appreciate you coming all
hanging out with me and thank you for
all the support and everything that you
do everything you bring to the table man
you are a beloved member of the
community and thanks so much for hanging
out sharing your story with us I'll see
you tonight on the school of the Mystics
yeah hey hey I guess before we go let's
let's plug your website so if somebody
wants to check out you working what you
bring to the table where can they find
out more about you let's go and plugged
out what we get off right now you can
actually sign my face but that's my main
way of operating right now is through
the Facebook channels you can use
facebook.com for slash Ren and I maybe
should have kept it a trend speaks and I
apologize the name of the page is still
ringing speaks re n speaks so if you
type it into the search engine you
should be able to find me instantly but
the URL is facebook.com rim cure Rima
wre in ke u you are Rema Rema I change
that for personal reasons
but um that's the main way of connecting
with me at this point it's a my basis
home based operation at this moment so
that's how you can connect with me I and
Rin will be at encounter Memphis on May
3rd and 4th so if you want to meet
ronita if you want to be a part of her
workshop and what she's bringing to the
table it's gonna be good she'll be
performing Friday night and Saturday
night delivering a workshop as well so
it's gonna be good stuff make sure you
head on over there to encountering God
dot Nets to get tickets or you can go to
truth seeker com either one tickets are
available for the weekend passes and we
love to see you guys there hanging out
with this so make sure you go check that
out
absolutely Arvind Eva alright everybody
thank you guys we're gonna go ahead and
end the show god bless you
that does it for this episode folks to
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