QUIT: THE LAST PRINCIPLE OF SUCCESS | Dr. Stanley Robertson

QUIT: THE LAST PRINCIPLE OF SUCCESS | Dr. Stanley Robertson
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znW6b5o4sN8
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truth seeker podcast excited delighted
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subject matter that we're gonna be
getting into we're gonna be talking
about quitting losing starting over and
what that means for someone and and and
not to be afraid to do that
you know when we have things stacked up
against us sometimes it seems like we're
in over our head and things like that
for me just what's been the story of my
life just throughout looking back man
it's the fact that I've left my setbacks
be like a slingshot to propel to propel
me where I need to go so I'm gonna we're
gonna talk about today I'm gonna give
you some of my examples of my stories
but we're gonna hear from the man
himself dr. Stanley Robertson here in a
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today's
discussion brother dr. Stanley podcast
hey Darren Thank You thanks man I
appreciate you having me on actually I'm
pretty excited to share a little bit of
information about how people can
disengage from the things that don't
work in other words how you can become a
successful quitter that's good and
there's all of these preconceived
notions and I even heard I was listening
to a interview the other day and
something they were talking about
quitting and someone throughout the term
they said uh there's time I'll rehab and
they said rehabs for quitters man you
know and they just look at quitting as
being like this this negative thing with
the fact that you have to admit that you
failed or you messed up and now you got
a backtrack for those in the public eye
and you've been put in time and money
and effort into this thing and then it
doesn't work out you have to humble
yourself and and backtrack but it can be
the best thing that's ever happened to
you right yeah that's right well two
things that you just said that it's a
little bit disturbing for me in terms of
people understanding why you need to
give up something number one is that the
reason why we don't want to quit the
reason why we don't want to disengage is
because somehow Society has taught us
it's um it's almost like we've been
brainwashed we've been it's been drilled
into our psyche that you can never give
up and if you do then you are a quote
loser in other words the word quit has
become synonymous with loser which is
really unfortunate because it prevents
us from disengaging from things that
that we ought to disengage from so I
think that's one of the issues that we
have going on another issue is that when
you look at the things let's take your
example if you need to give up something
let's say you you want to go to rehab
and someone says oh you have to admit
that you know that didn't work out
you've invested all this time you've
invested all this money that is
something that we refer to as the sunk
cost mentality
sunk cost and what I mean by sunk cost
is that if you make decisions based on
past history in other words you've
already spent the money so now you you
keep doing something because you spent a
lot of money or a lot of time or effort
in the past well it doesn't matter what
happened in the past what we should be
concerned about is the future in other
words if you continue doing the thing
that you're doing is that gonna bring
you better results is that gonna get you
where you want to go if it's not you
should stop doing it you should not keep
doing stuff let me just give you a quick
example if I might that there was this
some back in I guess the six nineteen
sixties we had something called the
Vietnam War the American president at
that time had gotten sucked into the war
based on this thing called the domino
theory the domino theory was just this
concept that if you can bring down North
Korea I mean up North Vietnam then you
might be able to bring down other
communist countries they call that the
domino theory because they figured the
collapse of one communist regime could
affect the collapse of other regimes
around the world so we got sucked into
the war based on that very quickly the
we had problems our soldiers we started
losing our guys our troops were
demoralized they could not win the war
and then the advisors told the president
this is a no-win situation there is no
way for us to come out of this good so
we should cut our losses the president
at that time said no we can't quit
because of all the lives that have been
lost if we come out we're gonna look
like losers America looks like it lost
so therefore they continue to engage and
the problem so that is one of the
problems with this idea of the sunk cost
so we should not be saying that we we've
done X in the past we've lost all these
lives in the past because it's not gonna
justify losing more lives in the future
if you lost money in the past and you
know that this thing is not gonna work
it's not gonna lead to your success you
need to quit you should not continue
doing it because you're just gonna lose
more money it doesn't make any sense
perfect man
we're what I want to know I want I want
to know how this became personal for you
like what Letta passing within you to
write this book and how did you have to
come to wits and say you know what I've
made some wrong decisions or what
whatever what's your story and why is
this personal for you yeah I've got two
things that actually happen for me one
of them is when when I was much younger
I understood the benefits of quitting
the benefits of giving up things when I
was a teenager I was working and I had
gotten my check I was happy a couple
hundred bucks yeah because I'm talking
20 years ago so I was very happy I was
on my way home and I bet this guy this
swing the VHS recorder had just come out
you know that thing was like six seven
hundred bucks so this guy was gonna sell
me one for just a couple of hundred
dollars I was happy because I got that's
all I could afford
cuz I'm that's all I had in my pocket
long story short I went ahead and bought
the VCR from him took it home and I was
gonna plug it in to make sure you know
see everything work I'm excited I opened
the box and I pull out a box of bricks
now this obviously is devastating her
heat that just kind of led me into this
life of petty theft because I had to get
my money back somehow right so you know
I started stealing and doing all this
other you know nonsense eventually I
went to the Marine Corps and when I got
into the Marine Corps continue my life
of petty thievery and I ended up in
debris court-martial losing all my
stripes and that's when I had to make a
decision because that is a very low and
devastating point for a young person
well that I realized then you've got to
be able to give up some things you've
got to stop doing some things in your
life if you want to advance yourself if
the thing you're doing is not getting
you where you want to be now of course
at the time I thought you know kind of a
life of petty crime couldn't get me
where I wanted to be which was a lot of
money and successful but I figured out
very quickly that that's that's not
really gonna work so I needed to
disengage I needed to come up with a new
plan so that was one of the things
then the second thing that happened when
I actually wrote this book I wrote this
book last year and the thing that
happened when I wrote this book is my
son is now in the Marine Corps and he
was trying to make a decision whether he
wanted to re-enlist or not and I was
talking to him and I got the sense from
him that he was struggling with if he
get out he's an officer in the Marine
Corps so if he decided to get out people
were going to look at it as oh you quit
you should have kept going you should
have continued to do it because you know
you can do this your 20-some years old
you'll be 40 years old you can retire
you'll be set for the rest of your life
you know you know the drill right so I'm
having this conversation with him and it
just strikes me it hits me like a ton of
bricks if you can get workbox wood
bricks so it stretched me like a ton of
bricks and I said to him at first I was
saying to him the same thing that
everybody else was saying and that is
that you should keep going you should
not stop you've got to do this because
this is great this is good for you and
then I realized I'm doing the same thing
to him that I was doing to myself and
that the world is doing to him and a lot
of other folks and that is we're
encouraging people to do things because
of the stigma attached to the idea of
quitting so that's when I said you know
what ma'am I went to sleep that night
around 2 o'clock in the morning one word
hit my brain and that word was quick cue
uit and I said you know what that's the
book that I'm gonna write that's awesome
man
so many there's so many different
examples that that kind of tie into that
I mean I can look at what I'm doing I
didn't quit my job I was let go from my
job but it kind of propelled me to
pursue my passion and my dream you know
what I'm saying and so there's a lot of
people who were like stuck at these
quote-unquote dead-end jobs they don't
want to be there they're miserable at
their job they got to do something like
but there's like a gulf in between that
quitting and then all the naysayers I
mean we it was hard for me to like my
wife's family like you know talking
about insurance
and all of this kind of stuff and all
these reasons not to quit but when you
have to weigh them out on this scale
like pursuing your passion pursuing your
dream you have to you have to stick with
it and you got to step out right yeah
you do um a lot of people are working
jobs that they hate and when I say hey I
literally mean hate in other words
they're going to jobs every day and
they're being stressed out now the
problem with this number one is you're
not gonna perform at your best level
you're never gonna be the best you can
be
working and doing something that you
hate doing every day so that's kind of a
given but the other hidden problem is
that it is causing us as Americans
stress and the stress impacts your your
mental and physical health so in other
words by going to jobs we hate staying
continuing to do something that doesn't
work for you is literally killing you
and it's not just jobs jobs is one area
where we yeah relationships especially
when it comes to marriage you know there
is a taboo in terms of marriage if you
for example let's say the relationship
is not working out the relationship is
appears if whatever is going on we are
very reluctant to give up that marriage
what that relationship again because of
what society says and how society will
look at you like oh you know you did
youdid you should have stuck it out or
you could have worked or you just
couldn't make it work so in other words
it's a reflection on you somehow because
the relationship didn't work out and
this again is very bad so we have people
stuck in abusive toxic relationships
because they refuse to give up the
relationship and that's just that just
that's just not good yeah especially
when it's second or third relationships
like you know you just keep keep quit
and keep giving up right yeah I had this
young lady that I know she's out in
Southern California and she was in a
marriage it was very abusive she was
overweight and she said that she had
been
shame not only by people you know in her
community but her husband actually fat
shamed her one day she had a baby and he
comes into the room after the delivery
of the baby he reaches down on the bed
and kind of lifts up the excess skin on
her stomach after the delivery and he
says to his wife do you think I could be
attracted to that now this is this is
obviously very abusive type of situation
for her but she would not give up that
relationship now eventually she did but
it took her a long time when she finally
gave up the relationship she lost all
her weight her self-esteem skyrocketed
she became a very successful author and
yoga instructor so just because she
would not give up that abusive
relationship it affected her mental
state and her physical health and when
she finally did give up she became this
very happy successful beautiful woman
just because she was able to quit that
relationship which was bad in the first
place so it really makes no sense for us
to allow the these external factors to
cause us to stick with things that that
are harmful yeah man let me let me ask
you about this because there's this
notion this popular term phrase we've
heard let your haters be your motivators
right and I remember being in in in was
of ministry or jobs or business or
starting starting something that you
know get a couple days a couple weeks
couple months into you like man I I'm
not supposed to be doing this you know
and you're still investing money you're
still wasting time you're still making
connections that you're not supposed to
be making simply because you don't want
the haters to say told you so so so I
let the haters be your motivators but as
I know let your passion be your
motivator let God be your motivator
right versus your haters because you'll
be doing stuff and afraid to pull out
because of the fear of what they're
gonna say and
you know aha you know we told you from
the beginning this wasn't right or
whatever the case is right yeah I don't
like haters son I don't like people who
I just don't like negative people period
so if for me I want to engage with
people who are positive people who are
encouraging people who are uplifting it
just doesn't make sense to spend my time
and energy because the things that
people do the things that people say
even the emotions that people bring to
you impact you because those things are
are tangible now you may not be able to
see them right you can't see emotions
you can't see feelings you can't see
words but those things are tangible
those things impact you they there is
actually an energy feeling you probably
already know this there's an energy
field that is created in human beings
and that impacts the other person who
you are interacting with so for me I
don't want to be in that space with a
negative individual so if the person is
a hater I'm out yeah
again just you know staying in something
where you need to need to pull out like
you know it's funny too you know we talk
about a lot about spirituality in the
Bible and a lot of ancient texts and
stuff like that and it's really
interesting when we hear like the word
in Christianity the word repent turn
from your sins repent and that word that
comes from the Hebrew and breaks down to
the Greek as well the word Metanoia
which means to have a change of thinking
to stop doing the thing that you're
doing essentially turn from the things
that are killing you like stop doing the
bad stuff learn from your mistakes and
have a change of heart have a change of
mind is literally what it translates to
mm-hmm
yeah well I think we do I think that is
very important concept you need to
change your mind on many things in many
instances and there are a lot of factors
that would cause us to to be in a
position where we should
Jeremiah so for example if you're doing
something you you have a goal you have
something that you're trying to do if
the thing is not working out for you
then you should change you shouldn't
keep doing it but also you should not
keep doing something just because and
this is going back to your your concept
of haters you shouldn't keep doing
something just because other people are
saying you should do it or you shouldn't
quit doing it just because other people
are saying you should quit in other
words you should not stop or repent or
change your mind that should be an
internal decision based on your goals
based on whether your what it is you
want to do what it what it is you want
to achieve in life not what someone else
does but what the one point that I would
make here though is that we know that
external pressures cause us to do things
that we don't want to be doing but
there's also something internal in our
brains that impacts that decision as
well there was a study that was done
which we refer to as the jigsaw puzzle
study in the jigsaw puzzle study they
took two groups of people they gave the
first group of people a jigsaw puzzle
and they said work this thing until
you'd done which they completed it was
the second group they gave the same
puzzle they said work this thing until
you're done except they interrupted them
they would not let them finish the
puzzle what they found is that the group
who completed the puzzle went on about
their day they never thought about it
again the second group who they
interrupted they would not let them
finish they continued to think about the
puzzle they thought ha Wow you know I
could have finished that or that wasn't
fair or whatever their thinking was so
what they determined in that study is
that the human brain is hardwired for
completion in other words whenever
something is interrupted if you're not
able to finish or complete a task your
brain is gonna keep going back to that
thing thinking about the fact that you
were not able to complete it so again we
have these external pressures but we
also have this internal working
inside our brain that sometimes prevent
us from giving up things because our
brain is hardwired for completion so we
keep doing it even though it may be
detrimental to us against all odds
there's a there's a sense of like
victory or you know like you say
completion and we won we want to see the
best in it we want to look at that
spouse or whatever and think and see the
best in them or or change the
circumstance and say you know shift the
blame even or whatever the case says
making up these words scenarios just so
that it would work out right and it
doesn't always work that way sometimes
many times we need to quit yeah yeah
that's true now I do believe that it is
beneficial for us to think you know
positive it's beneficial for us to think
it's going to work out you know we
should always think this is gonna work
out this is going to be good this is
gonna get me where I want to go I think
we should always think that but we
should we have to be realistic in that
thinking so in other words we've got to
evaluate what's happening you should
never be negative if you get to the
point where you think this is not going
to work well at that point it's a dead
end and that's when you should give it
up but up until the you get to the point
where you recognize this thing is not
gonna work you should always think it is
gonna work no matter what the odds are
no matter what the circumstances are
it's always going to work out because
most normally it does work out it's just
that if you reach that brick wall and
you get to the point where there's no
way that I can get the results that I'm
looking for that's when you need to give
that thing up do you think that um most
people internally know that they should
quit what they won't it's like because
it you know there's some people who are
just oblivious they don't even know but
I think most people know like I'm I'm
grasping for straws here they know they
should give up but it's the fear the
failure that I told you so's that
prevent them to just stay in there even
longer
I don't know if I don't know the numbers
like if most people think that way but I
do know that that is a major problem
that is one that may be the number one
problem that causes people to not quit
things because we have these notions in
our brain that you know if I quit it's
gonna be bad I know this you know this
may not work out I'm afraid now I'm
afraid to quit the job because I may not
find another job or I'm afraid to give
up this marriage because I don't want to
be lonely or whatever the situation is
so I think that in my mind that is the
number one problem that prevents us from
disengaging and and this word
disengaging you know I've done a lot
I've read like every study I've read
every book that I could find on the
subject of quitting and there's actually
a technical term for the notion of
quitting and it's called gold
disengagement and gold disengagement
means that so the idea of quitting is
this if you're gonna quit something it
means you're doing something so the
research shows that if you're engaged in
some activity that you are trying to
make a decision as to whether you should
give it up the the research refers to
that is disengaging so that's why it's
called gold disengagement and that's the
technical term for quitting because if
you read any studies doing it look at
any research you'll never see the word
quit but you'll always see the word gold
disengagement so there are two things
behind the concept of gold disengagement
that needs to happen for you to
successfully give up something one is
you need to give up the effort in other
words stop doing the thing the second
one which is more difficult is that you
need to give up the commitment so you
need to give up the effort and the
commitment in order to be successful in
order to successfully disengage from
something so we can give up and most
people can give up the effort in other
words they can stop doing the thing but
the problem is we have a very difficult
time giving up the commitment in other
words
letting go mentally letting go you know
we're attached to that person we're
attached to that house we live in you
know California for example and there's
wildfires all over the place there's
earthquakes and we say no you know I'm
gonna move I'm gonna I don't want to
live here anymore or we live in New
Orleans and you know and there's there's
floods all over the place or we live in
Chicago and there's 50 degrees below
wind chill and we say I'm not gonna stay
here anymore but we are attached you
know from some kind of emotional
attachment or some other attachment to
this in this particular space so the
point is that we can give up the effort
but is very difficult to get the
commitment and that may be one of the
problems based on what you know what
you're describing is that people may
know internally that something is not
gonna work out but the emotional
attachment prevents them from from
quitting if you're in a place where
you're like you're not thriving you're
not wanting and you know deep down
within that it's not gonna work because
you're not supposed to be doing it the
best thing to do is just to quit right
and it I think it helps everybody
because if you're on a job that you get
you're not fulfilled at you know you're
not supposed to be there you want to
quit but then the bills tell you no you
can't quit or whatever situation it is
like you're making a bad work
environment no you know it could be
you're a disgruntled employee you're
just not happy you're not fulfilled you
don't take your job seriously if you're
in a relationship it never works out
good if you're in a place you need to
back out I mean people start going
outside of their marriages right the
longer they stay in it they become they
end up becoming a cancer to that to that
thing if you're in a business deal if
you're making relate in in relationships
you're meeting people you're you're
wasting money I mean I can tell you
countless times that I've started things
trying to find my niche and I would be
in it for a few months or weeks and I
would know I need to pull out but I got
too many people involved I got co-host
on this podcast we've invested a bunch
of money into logos and animations and
all of this stuff and I'm like now don't
spend five six hundred dollars in two
weeks on something that I'm just gonna
pull the plug on and deep down I already
know that I'm gonna
pull the plug on it because this isn't I
can't see myself there in the future but
it's just like letting everybody know
and like now you let everybody down and
the weight is on your shoulders and
those type of thing and you may lose
friendships over you know what I'm
saying and it's part of it so that's a
big burden to bear that you want to just
try to juggle and and stay in it and and
and take the burden of it all
versus have everything kind of implode
on you and you'd be the reason why these
other people aren't happy or whatever
the case is but it usually never works
out if you know that's what's going on
just you know go ahead and pull out man
yeah that's true and don't forget
there's this thing called the sunk cost
fallacy which says that you should not
make a decision about your future based
on your past investment so it doesn't
matter how much you spent or you know
how many people you pulled into the
project if the thing is a deity and you
should not continue to do it just
because you know you spent X amount of
dollars in the past that's a bad
decision you got to think about your
future what makes the most sense going
forward not looking backward but looking
forward now so that's one thing the
other thing though is you mentioned
about jobs and stuff companies are now
starting to recognize that it's better
if an employee does not want to be there
a lot of times employee will not quit
for various reasons they can't pull the
trigger so now companies are starting to
give them incentive to quit Amazon
because one of the biggest companies in
the world if not the biggest company in
the world they actually have a quit
bonus a quit bonus is the the CEO of the
company every year he makes an offer to
his employees if you are not happy at
working at Amazon I will pay you to quit
so they are actually trying to give
people incentive to quit because you
know people can't do it on their own for
various reasons you know it's very
difficult to give up something so but
Amazon recognizes that if you have
someone there that doesn't really want
to be there that this is not
we're where their heart is this is not
the thing that gets them up in the
morning they recognize that that person
is costing them more money to employ
then just to pay them to leave and
that's that's what they refer to as the
quit bonus and there's um there are
several companies that are doing that
now and I think that more and more
companies will come to realize that and
more and more companies will get on that
page as we go forward what are some of
the signs if someone is in a
relationship a business or whatever I
mean I know it applies to like every
area of our life but what are some of
the signs to let us know we this this
has run its course I need to I need to
back out what are some of the signs of
that for somebody who may seem oblivious
to it right well it one of the biggest
signs and again it just kind of rents
across the board but you know there's
this thing in business which which we
refer to as ROI return on investment if
you are doing something and the the
thing that you are doing is not getting
you the results that you want in other
words it's not yielding the returns that
you want now that does whether it's a
business venture or whether it's an
investment whether it's a relationship
it's just not yielding the the results
that you want it's not getting you where
you want to go that is of a very obvious
sign that's in your face it's like you
know you've got this relationship or
you've got this this business thing
going on but you're not getting where
you want to be then you definitely ought
to think about giving that up
another sign is now the the one that
just mentioned is kind of the return
that you're getting are you getting the
results that you want the other one is
are you making any appreciable steps
forward in other words if you're doing
something but the thing that you're
doing is not propelling you forward
because obviously there's steps that you
have to take if you're going through
something because anytime you build
something you're gonna start you know at
one point and you're gonna go to point B
and C and D and so forth
until you get to you know the the result
that you desire if the thing that you're
doing you keep putting in more and more
effort but the return is becoming less
and less then that again it's another
time when you should think about giving
up the thing yeah and there's other
there's other things too that you should
think about you should you should think
about quitting like for example you
should think about quitting something if
the thing that you're doing is something
that you are doing this for someone else
and you dread doing it in other words
you hate doing the thing now you know
that if every morning you get up and you
complain because you got to go you know
to do this thing you got to go to work
or you wake up beside this particular
person who you don't want to be with and
you're looking at the person like oh my
god why am I here if you find yourself
in that space you dread the things
that's again a very big sign where you
ought to consider giving up that thing
because again it's gonna lead to a very
bad physical and mental space for you
and the other people that are involved
yeah that's it that's a big one because
people like if we almost kind of end up
there by default in many cases we're
defaulting on this job when I was a kid
I didn't know I was gonna be a garbage
man like that wasn't my dream I just
ended up here because I needed a job and
I've been here 10 years now right so
they wake up and they hate their job but
that's like been their life you know
what I'm saying they haven't they you
know there are jobs that you can get
where you wake up and you love to go to
work and you you wake up and you love to
clock in you're in your zone and it's
different for everybody you know for me
I wake up I get to do music I get to
work on podcasts and interview people
and just create content that seemed like
something that wasn't possible at all to
obtain and bring into my reality but um
but there are ways to do it and people
just get used to kind of being sick and
tired or used to staying in that in
those failed relationships or jobs or
whatever that they're building but it's
like universal you can be in a
relationship where you're in love
you don't I'm saying will you look at
that person and you you still get
starry-eyed you're still you know in
love with that person it but it's it's I
don't know it's different for everybody
like I think Envy has a lot to do with
it like like looking at someone who has
a good marriage I'm like man I wish I
had that or looking at someone who does
music in my example say man I wish I
could work on music but I got to drive
this truck for 17 hours today right
these weird things but being able to
manifest that bringing it to your
reality you have to you can't do both
right you can try to kind of merge them
together but eventually you're gonna
have to quit one and really focus on the
other and so the things that I tell
people you know part part of that
transition and whatever you're doing is
trying to do something today like try to
put some type of seed in the ground
that's gonna come up and manifest
tomorrow whether it's on that job or
whatever the case is you have to do
something today to create the life that
you want for yourself tomorrow right
yeah that's true um in in order to do
that you have to plan you've got to plan
in other words some people go through
life and just kind of let life happen by
circumstance well that's really not a
good way to function you need to think
about what it is you want to be doing
and then you can come up with a plan to
get there and that's the thing about
quitting and when you quit something you
don't just stop doing it in you know
that's it you become dormant that's not
the idea yeah the idea is if you're
doing something and that thing is not
getting you where you want to be it is
to give that up but the key is to
reengage your efforts the reason you
quit something is so that you could free
up that space that mental space that
physical time you want to free up that
time from the thing that is not working
so that you can actually do the thing
that will work and that's the point of
quitting so the point is not just to say
well you know I'm done I'm you know I'm
finished with life no you're not
finished with life right until you die
so the idea
is to disengage and that's why the
research refers to it as gol
disengagement the the idea is to
disengage from one thing so that you
free up the time the effort to do the
next thing which means that the in this
is actually a good point too and that is
that if you're going to stop something a
lot of people have a problem with
quitting things because you know they're
afraid that they don't know what the
future is gonna look like they don't
know if they're gonna get a new job they
don't know if they're gonna find love
again they don't know if they're gonna
be lonely whatever the situation is one
of the things that will help people make
the transition
in other words help you give up that
first job is if you find a new job you
can give up that old career if you
create yourself a new career you can
give up that toxic relationship if
you're open to finding new love so the
idea is if you're gonna give up things
if you're gonna be successful at
quitting the things that are not working
for you the best thing for you to do is
plan your future what are you going to
do next if you have a plan for what
you're gonna do next it's a lot easier
most people would prefer to say to let's
say you're gonna now first of all you
shouldn't be overly concerned with the
external world but you know we are right
so most people would prefer to say to
their spouse or to their friends or
their family most people would prefer to
say I quit this job and I'm gonna be
working for this company versus saying
oh I quit my job and then period so as
long you have something else we feel
okay with giving up the first thing but
if you don't have something else lined
up it's a very big problem to give up
the first thing and that's that's valid
except sometimes when it's with the the
the relationship because it's like oh
you already with something true that is
true relationships are very delicate you
know obvious reasons and that message
you should you know kind of have
somebody waiting in the wing
a lot of people do let's be honest a lot
of people that's why a lot of
relationships in because they got
somebody waiting in the wings but no I'm
not saying that you need to do that I'm
just saying that you need to be open you
need to be open to finding new
relationships to meeting new people in
other words if you're gonna give up a
bad relationship which you should if a
relationship is bad if it's toxic if
it's abusive you definitely want to give
that up and sometimes it may not have to
be abusive it's you just may be in a
relationship that you know to you the
two people are have different goals for
their lives you know and you just not
compatible and that's cool too if you're
in that situation you want to go ahead
and disengage from that particular
relationship I'm not saying that you
should have another person waiting in
the wings but I am saying that you
should be open to meeting other people
you should be open to dating again you
should be open to go finding the places
where people you know socialize and hang
out that you may be interested in in
meeting now maybe this has something it
kind of ties in with the you know
letting my haters be my motivators but
the shame that comes with it was even
the term like you know quitters never
win or whatever the case is you know
winners never lose I've heard it I've
heard it interchangeable you know yeah
yeah you know winners never quit and
quitters never win that's a term that
was coined by the football coach Vince
Lombardi and he said winners never quit
and quitters never win I guess this
point was to motivate the players and
motivate people to not give up to not
quit and to continue to push through and
there is some validity to pushing
through the the issue is you don't want
to keep pushing through on something
that is a dead end you don't want to
keep pushing through on something that's
going nowhere and something that you
don't want to be doing now if you if
you're doing something that that is not
going anywhere you don't want to do it
you just decide it yeah you know I don't
want to play the horn anymore I don't
want to play the piano anymore you know
I want to run track fine
quit playing the piano and go run track
so you the idea of pushing through means
if you're doing the thing that you know
you don't want to be doing that's not
really working for you not getting
bringing you success not making you
happy not fulfilling you don't push
through quit doing that thing if you
find the thing that you do want to do
let's say you want to be a track runner
now you do need to push through if you
know that this is what I want to be
doing and I have to practice I've got to
get better I've got to improve yeah you
want to push through that practice you
want to push through the next practice
and the next practice and continue
pushing yourself to excel to be better
but again pushing through and this idea
that winners never quit and quitters
never win will apply if the thing that
you apply that concept to is the thing
that works for you if the thing is not
working for you then it's disaster to
apply that concept
now what about pipe dreams and
unattainable goals that we set for
ourselves they backing out of that to
really get a good understanding of what
is attainable or maybe the pipe dream
could be attainable but there's
practical steps to kind of get there and
kind of pull like a lot of times we put
the cart before the horse right when
when we just want to go straight there
but there's different practical steps to
get there how do we get out like a right
understanding with pulling out of some
of these goals that we've set too early
or too quick or whatever that we need to
pull out of two things number one pipe
dreams are very tricky personally I'm
okay with people dreaming because that
is what kind of gets our juices flow and
he gets our creativity going so I'm okay
with dreaming because that you know
there's nothing wrong with that you know
there's nothing wrong with saying you
know oh I want to be I want to be a
great actor or I want to be a great
ballplayer nothing wrong with that at
all so I think that dreaming
now when you say pipe dream I'm assuming
that you're kind of referring to
something that's
not even in the realm of possibility for
you
you know let's say that I don't know you
your 98 pounds and your pipe dream is to
play professional football in the NFL
well obviously that doesn't make any
sense so pipe dreaming from the
standpoint that the thing that you're
dreaming about is impossible physically
mentally you don't have the competence
the skills or whatever that could be a
problem but other than that I think
dreaming is a good thing for us to do so
I'm not opposed to that at all
yeah now in terms of setting your goals
though you do have to come up with a
plan in in in my book there are steps I
think there's eight steps to you know to
set your goals so once you do decide
that you want to do something whatever
the thing is that you want to do then
there is a process that you can go
through in order to figure out what the
thing is how to do it set your goals
break them down into small and
manageable pieces and then enlist the
people and the resources that you need
then you have to of course verify or you
know kind of prioritize your list you've
got to go ahead and manage it you've
always got to come back you can't just
like set the goal and then go away
you've always got to be readjusting
because you know you have to correct
your course as you go along but so there
is a process in order to reach your
goals and that process is very important
it should not be overlooked
not talking about the process of
quitting and things like that and we've
been talking about jobs we've been
talking about relationships I was like
the main two I guess
like maybe they come first maybe
unhealthy eating right these other
things does that does these steps work
with with things like unhealthy eating
or quitting smoking or
breaking a porn addiction or something
like that does it work for every area of
our lives
yeah yes it does um now each area of
your life of course there are the
specifics
the details are gonna be different
because if you're trying to say quit
smoking cigarettes you're gonna have to
do something different than if you're
trying to quit a negative mentality or
quit a bad relation or so the the
specific mm-hmm so the specific things
the details of what you do will vary but
the steps are gonna be the same and it
doesn't matter you're still gonna have
to go through certain steps through
certain things in order to give up
something so again kind of depending on
what it is you're giving up that will
dictate the specifics of what it is you
need to do within each step now I know
we've covered some of the steps already
but if we was to kind of look at them
like an overview what are the four steps
that you've come up with yes so the four
steps that I that I determined and like
I said I this is coming from the the
research and the studies or the books I
touch I read every book that I could
find on the subject of quitting and I've
read every study that I could get my
hands on and what I found when I looked
at this material is that I could boil
down and summarize everything into one
of these four areas so I just kind of
put it all together and created this
four step process and I use the word
quit qu IT as an acronym to describe the
four steps now just to make it easy to
remember so the first step which is the
Q stands for quick quickly quit quickly
quick quickly just means just I'll give
you the short version quit quickly just
means you need to recognize as fast as
you can when something is not working
and stop doing it because the most
successful people they don't continue to
do things that don't work for them now
people who are not successful we
continue to try to push through and we
we don't recognize that you should give
this up but people the the successful
the wealthy people they will give it up
immediately and start to do the
something else that's going to be more
productive for them so understanding
really fast that's
that is not working the faster you
recognize it's not working and the
faster you give that up the more
successful you're going to be so that's
the first step quit
quickly and then there are some things
you need to do of course to recognize
that the second step which is the you
understand negative emotions and that's
some of the things we've been talking
about now which is recognizing that
there are emotional things that may
prevent you from disengaging or from
quitting something like we mentioned
like the sunk cost fallacy if you can
understand that there this idea that
we've invested so much in the past we've
invested all the money we've invested
the resources if you can recognize that
that thing that you put in in the past
is you should not make a decision based
on that but you should make a decision
based on the future in other words where
do I want to be not what have I already
done that's one of the things that could
help you get past the emotional baggage
that prevents you from quitting so the
second step and again there's some other
things as well
but the second step is to understand
those negative emotions and understand
how to navigate around it and that's Q
that's you I is to initiate new goals
because as we mentioned just a few
moments ago when you give up something
you can't just you know stop altogether
you have to create some new goals for
yourself and then the last one is the T
Q uit is to transform your behavior
because when you give up something and
you create some new goals you cannot do
the same thing that you were doing
before I mean if you're gonna stop
smoking cigarettes you can't keep doing
the same behavior whatever it was in
other words you can't continue going to
the Walgreens and buying a package of
cigarettes right you got to stop doing
that
so you gotta adjust your behavior in
some way in order to be successful after
you give up something so that's the four
steps q uit quit quickly understand the
negative emotions initiate your new
behavior in the initiate your new goals
and then transform your behavior
you give some examples as well of like
stars or just just like notable people
who have quit something to go on and do
something else great right and it's not
necessarily that they were in something
bad or whatever the case is you talk
about what's the name
Vontae Davis or whatever quit the NFL
Michael Jordan quit basketball started
baseball and right quit baseball to go
back and then to win some more
championships the rock quit wrestling to
become a movie star now he's in all the
top blockbusters out there now you know
and so these are people who have quit
you know and uh and and and have
continued to go on and be successful
right in the different things that they
were like easy like you're always gonna
do this or you've been here 20 years you
might as well stay you know let this be
your legacy late no I got some other
things that I want to do but you can't
balance the two right yeah may need to
quit something it's because of your life
cycle in other words um going back to
say the rock our Arnold Schwarzenegger
if you know our disorder or was they a
bodybuilder and he action are successful
at all those things but at some point
you can no longer be a bodybuilder right
because your body is gonna change as the
aging process so he found something else
to do he said hey you know I'm at the
top of my game I'm a bodybuilder but now
I'm gonna be an actor and that's gonna
take me further you know into my next
stage of life and then at some point you
can't be an action star he says you know
what I'm gonna be a governor and then
that's gonna take me further so we
should recognize that life circumstances
will sometimes dictate the need for you
to change and I think that's what also
happened with um with Michael Jordan the
reason he quit baseball originally I
mean basketball and went to baseball is
his dad had gotten killed and he said
that of course he was devastated he kind
of lost his his edge for the game of
basketball so he gave up the game
retired but he still wanted to do
something so he said that his dad always
wanted to be a baseball player so he in
honor of his father who had just been
killed he wouldn't play baseball but
when he did that he recognized he was
not good at baseball so what did he do
he quit and went back to basketball
which was a very good move because he
won three more championships we got the
three-peat and he becomes the best
player arguably on the planet and people
can debate that but arguably he's either
the best or at least one nobody can
debate that he's at least one of the
best players but that would have never
happened if he had not given up the
pursuit of baseball so so that is a very
good example of you know sometimes you
do need to quit for various reasons and
when you do it you don't have to
necessarily be losing or quitting for a
bad reason yeah or just like in the
example of on Terry dad was like you
know we kind of see that in in a lot of
the movies or whatever like somebody's
about to sign this big contract or go
off and move cross-country to take a new
job that's gonna bring about all the
money and then halfway through the movie
or the climax they they take the
contract and they throw it away just so
they can be with their kids or do what
they love versus you know trading off a
passion for like this exchange of money
which isn't worth it because they
wouldn't be happy and be able to thrive
with their family and things like that
so we see those kind of scenarios just
woven through a lot of movies actually
right oh sure and that happens in real
life too like you said we know that Dave
Chappelle for the people who are with
him yeah he he was at the height of his
comedy career on TV they offered him
about fifty million dollars and he
walked away from it no we also saw that
with you know as you mentioned Vontae
Davis same thing he left the NFL
Magic Johnson just recently gave up he
was the president of a professional
basketball team in Los Angeles Lakers
and he just quit being the president
say wow why would you quit being the
president I mean this is like a dream
right nobody quits been the president of
the Los Angeles Lakers and he said well
it wasn't making me happy I wasn't
winning was a pretty you know good at it
so he gave it up because he felt that
it's better to do something that he is
gonna be passionate about that he's
going to be good at then to just keep
doing it you know for the money or the
prestige so that happens in the movies
but it also happens in real life yeah
now what about the like like the
calculations of it like calculating when
to quit you know we've been talking
about that but like because some people
quit spur the moment and they were you
know they regret it and they can't go
back to it right versus like doing some
soul-searching and knowing like this is
I need to I need to pull out right
versus like just spur the moment get mad
and in your feelings and I quit are you
like oh man I said that that that is
probably the number one worst reason to
quit you should never quit spur the
moment that that's the that's analogous
to I'm gonna I'm losing someone to take
my basketball and go home well that's
the worst yeah that's the worst thing
you can do you don't want to do that if
something is not going good or you're
mad about something you need to think
through the thing decide is this still a
goal of mine does this thing still serve
me if the thing is still viable and it's
still part of your dreams part of your
goal if it's still part of your plan
then you need to suck it up and keep
moving forward you know go home take a
few deep breaths complain you know to
your spouse or significant other and
keep it moving and then come back the
next day and get back on the job so you
don't want to do that on the spur of the
moment you always want to think about it
let it kind of marinate in your brain is
this still my goal does this thing still
get me where I want to be and if it is
you suck it up and you keep moving so
spur the moment quitting is the number
one worst thing for you to do I'm
reminded of the
two week notice on the job you know you
put in that two week notice have been
thinking about it I've wrote this letter
you know I talked with the bosses versus
just abruptly quitting and walking away
burning your bridges burning your frame
of reference for the next job you know
all that kind of stuff right that kind
of doing it with like bowing out
gracefully even right oh absolutely you
always you'd never ever and I'm gonna
say ever one more time ever want to quit
bad you don't want to quit bad you don't
want to be on bad terms you don't want
to say bad things because even if you
hate your job even if you hate your boss
even if you hate everybody in the
organization
you just hate everybody you still don't
want to quit on bad terms you want to
say hey you know thank you for the
opportunity to work here has been it's
been wonderful but you know this is just
not work for me and you move on because
you oh you always want to keep your
resources open in other words just
getting a reference if someone's gonna
call the company next for a reference
you want to at least be able to say the
person people say oh yeah this was the
people's a great guy this this job
didn't work out for him you know he
wanted to do some other things but if
you go out you know angry or cursing
people out you know I'll get some crazy
stuff you know you lose that as a
resource and why should you lose that if
you've been working there three years
five years ten years yeah you know
that's a good resource for you you want
to keep those options open yeah yeah
part of your legacy man you know if
you've been there if you've put up with
it that long you know a lot of people do
it though man a lot of people freak out
you know they can't really hold that
peace and uh and calculating and just do
a spur-of-the-moment but um but even
that could be made right - right
so man if people want to check out the
book where's the best place for them to
go to check it out oh sure the book is
called quit the last principle of
success you can buy the book on Amazon
just type it in my name Stanley G
Roberts or you can go to my website the
quit doctor.com and that's probably the
easiest place if you can't remember you
know the title of the book or whatever
just go to quit doctor calm the quit
doctor calm Stanley T Robertson man for
me I was blessed to be fired from my job
quitting would have been cuz like you
want to make sure it's gonna be a smooth
transition especially stepping out of
doing something big like uh and I look
at my life and my have a family and
something like I would have never quit
just because the financial security
thing like did you wanted to equal out
and be a smooth transition
and it's not always like that so for me
I was always let go for my job but is
this I never went back to another one I
didn't pick up a nine-to-five so I quit
the pursuit of the nine-to-five and all
that kind of stuff and it worked out it
works out like you know you can make it
happen again going back to what what we
was talking about like you can actually
work at a job or have a life where you
love what you do and a lot of people
can't fathom that to get up and enjoy
life like they think it's a burden this
of being a mankind or the sin of Adam or
whatever that we have to work by the
sweat of our brow and and but man you
can really you can wake up every day and
do what you love for a living you can
write a book you can help you can help
people like all the things that you went
through and learn and all that stuff to
bring it to the table and pay it forward
man and it works out for you so man I
really appreciate this interview brother
thanks for coming on hanging out with me
and everybody make sure you go to the
website and check out his book it's good
stuff all right thanks there Thank You
Stanley will do it again man right all
right bless Stanley G Robertson ladies
and gentlemen good stuff sometimes you
got to quit man there's a there's a song
is a it's a country song it's talking
about like playing five-card draw
or something but say you gotta know when
to hold them know when to fold them know
when to walk away and I don't know the
rest of the lyrics we're somehow knowing
when to bow out I'm stacking your chips
and pulling out cuz like again like when
you do you don't do that you're making a
you're making a hostile for everyone
around you cuz you don't want to be
there and if you don't want to be there
like you're gonna you know you're gonna
be disgruntled
you know gossip and slander and like you
know like just talking just complaining
all the time you're gonna be known for
someone who complains literally like you
can be in a job you can be in a
situation where you love it well you're
not complaining you're just overjoyed
and you want to stay away from
complainers you're gonna do your job the
best you can and and love him and and
just knowing where that is right knowing
how to get from point A to point B it
could be hard for some people but you
have to to know when to do it you look
in the scriptures like like the story of
Ishmael like was they I think it was
Abraham's son he was a woman and he
birthed the son by the name of Ishmael
and it was he wasn't supposed to have
that son like he stayed a little bit too
long he wasn't supposed to go there and
many times we get into situations and
circumstances and we get into things
that we shouldn't do and like people
become casualties around you like
whether in that situation your
co-workers or our casualty the
situations where again you're starting a
business or starting a podcast you know
you spend money and they're just
casualties all around you you know going
back to the scriptures again I'm always
reminded of Jonah in the well I mean
that story he's running from God he's in
a place that he's not supposed to be
he's doing some Dane's he's not supposed
to be doing he's disgruntled himself and
he tries to run from his calling where
he God wants him where he's supposed to
be that perfect place in the midst of
that he gets on a boat and he's going to
another city that he's not supposed to
be going to and essentially what happens
is those people who were on the same
boat with him like God is tracking him
down god it's like petitioning him to do
what I called you to do you're not
supposed to be there do what I called
you to do and then so the winds and the
waves and the storms and all these
outside forces start coming in to woo
Jonah back and say look I'm not gonna
let you get away that easy man
and the way thing about is the people on
the boat the guys came together so we
done someone's done something to anger
the gods and then so the boats about the
capsize and sink and they start throwing
their own personal possessions and their
belongings off the side of the boat and
all that kind of stuff and whenever they
do they're trying to make it where the
boats not gonna sink because they think
that you know that they've somebody's
done something and then Jonah finally
comes forward says look it's not y'all
this mean I'm running from God and he's
gonna as soon as you get rid of me this
storms gonna subside and you guys will
go back to everything normal well he
does that he was running from God he
jumps off the boat I throw him off or
whatever and and the people on the boat
go back to normal you know they just go
back to smooth sailing because there
were there where they're supposed to be
right but in the midst of that they lost
their personal possession it's like they
got rid of a lot of stuff and it threw
it over the boat and it's the person
who's in this place where they're not
supposed to be and it messes up the
synergy of it all so being in this place
where you're supposed to be and in
that's where we all need to be in the
flow synchronicity is happening
opportunities manifestation everything
is happening you're in the perfect will
of God not in a permissible world where
you can just do anything the permissible
world's like you won't start a podcast
sure free will do it and see what
happens you know you're not supposed to
do it you do it anyway then you got to
learn that's the good thing about it is
we were able to learn what it feels like
if we keep going and some of us keep
doing it anyway some of us you don't
have to be reminded time and time and
time again but if you're gonna get to
this place where you're gonna be
successful or you're going to be able to
have longevity and stability you may
have to back out of some things you may
have to repent Metanoia turn from the
things that are killing you if you have
unhealthy addictions food addictions
alcohol pornography in a relationship
you're in a bad job you know in just a
hostile work environment you got to pull
out of that stuff you need to quit
you just need to quit man you know but
again like I said don't do nothing
abruptly people want to make sure that
they have something to replace it with
like I don't like again with the job
thing like people who just quit jobs and
they don't know where they're going
I'll go out to get a job tomorrow make
the transition as smoothly as you can
take a take a break and tell them you
sick and go do it a job interview
whatever you got to do try to make that
transition for you and your family a lot
easier than just you know quitting cold
turkey and I'm gonna start a podcast and
like do you even know how to monetize
the podcast do you know how to get
guests for your podcast do you know how
to submit an RSS feed and get on iTunes
and do you know how to do that have you
done the work right versus just quitting
cold turkey you need to do the research
and all that stuff and then if you do it
then it'll work out great and then you
can make your transition seamless where
nobody is getting hurt your family's
getting hurt because you ain't providing
for your family or whatever the case
says there's right ways to go about and
in doing it with the less casualties as
possible
when nobody's getting hurt where
everybody works out for everybody you
know what I'm saying you quitting that
job it opens it up for somebody who
don't have a job who may love what
you're doing I was on jobs with people
they loved doing that stuff you know I I
used to work at the job what would a guy
be I mean it it was he loved cutting
grass like this joke would have grass
all over his face he wouldn't even wipe
it off man this guy's got he's loved it
I hated it hate cutting grass being out
in the Sun and just I'm wetting and his
in and it's just nasty and like I'll do
it right but it's not what I'm called to
do it's not my passion for somebody like
this guy who was cutting grass if he
loved it working on lawn mowers and my
lawn mowers breakdown I I hate working
on that stuff this guy loves it it got
gets his brain working you bring him his
lawnmower this joker will fix it for
free he love fixing lawnmowers he love
doing maintenance work everybody's not
wired like that and there's a there's an
in via again I say the word Envy but you
can
use that for good as a being around
being envious of people who are where
they're supposed to be again I always
talk about a few people that I really
felt like lit something within me like
the tattoo artists that I used to go get
tattooed from I would go to their job
and they loved to be there they get to
wake up and draw on you for a living and
make really good money I mean these guys
are making like man doubles sometimes
triple digits a month in some cases from
the tattoos that they're doing they just
get to wake up every day and draw
they're making great great money friends
telling Joe they just love to be there
they're doing what they're supposed to
do so when you go there and you see
those people doing it you're like man I
wish I would look I want to let me
tattoo what y'all let me y'all got in
these positions are open you know and uh
but then you see other people like
artists who are just comfortable in
their skin whether it's in it whether
it's dealing with religion or doctrine
or whatever they're just comfortable and
they know who they are I listen to
podcasts and see people doing it like
Joe Rogan and stuff like that it's like
man there's a part of envious like man I
want to do that you know and I know we
are the Bible says that we're supposed
to be the envy of all nations
so people are to look at us and be
envious but you I want you to envy my
marriage Envy model my lifestyle envy my
music Envy this because I'm doing it to
the best of my ability and I'm doing
what I was put here to do doing what I'm
called to do and it's the same thing
with you guys when you end the place
that you're supposed to be you people
know man you might you may wear a good
mask and play that hypocrite and play
those multiple row roles because you
have to but people know they can see
through it it's paper-thin being in a
place where you're doing what you love
for a living man and we're we're in a
situation now and if we talk about this
a lot where you can do it you can start
a podcast promote it to the right people
put ads on it and make enough money to
pay the light bills sell enough t-shirts
to pay the power bill and you know what
I'm saying
and uh and all that kind of stuff and we
have the ability to do it and everyone's
around you and if you're called to do
that you just got to step out and do it
but first you got to quit you got to
quit doing the things that you're not
supposed to be doing you gotta quit
wasting time quit uh you know wasting
time playing video games when you're
supposed to be podcasting right I've had
to do it I've had to uninstall games or
you know don't even like it'll be times
I'll just have Facebook up and I'll just
be scrolling and I'll catch myself like
what am I looking for you know my
daughter will watch like YouTube videos
or I'll watch them as well but I'm using
my daughter because like you know she
had she used to have a YouTube channel
as well it's like you spend the time
watching all these videos and you're
inspired and you want to be a youtuber
and you want to have all you need to
turn that video off and go make a video
I make your own like quit like you know
you can you can take in interviews and
podcasts again I don't listen to as much
podcast as I used to because I'm too
busy creating them whether it's doing it
spending time creating it or emailing a
guest or writing a bio or creating the
imagery or trying to share it out and
get ad revenue whatever it is so like
everything that comes into play you know
thank you situation changes but being in
the place again where you get to love
what what you love what you do for a
living I mean I'm reminded of this song
I love this song but it's um by the
dirty heads I think it's called vacation
and it's talking about uh he says I'm on
vacation every single day because I love
my occupation so every day is like a day
that you know it's surreal because I
don't know where you are man but I knew
where I was and so essentially I know
who to talk to in this podcast cuz I'm
talking I'm talking to the younger
version of me sitting in a dead-end job
stuck there I've been there ten years
for like you might die there but you you
know you're destined for more you got
greatness inside of you but you you're
delivering car parts you do it to the
best of your ability and at the same
time don't complain about it because
there's people who would love love that
job you know and and most likely that
job is to answer the prayer
you probably prayed for that that place
that you're complaining about never do
that that's not a good place you when
you have to catch yourself if you start
doing that so I complaining about the
things that you begged God for so I gave
it to you now what oh lord I need I need
you to give me something else right but
being like being learning to become
content and all things and it's just
weird dichotomy of being content but yet
still striving for more to be content
but strive for more strive for greatness
it's so weird it's a weird place but
there's a perfect peace there the Bible
says godliness with contentment is great
gain so again find out what you you love
to do learn how to manifest it bring it
to the table get with God and get with
the Creator don't work against them you
know make this transition a lot easier
with that I miss a piece of Shalom thank
you guys for hanging out with me again
if you want to check out the new
t-shirts that we have just released the
new sacred geometry t-shirt collection I
said that I was going to share it on the
screen but I had a setup wrong those of
you listening on the podcast and you
can't see it anyway but I'm pretty proud
of it I've been working on this for a
while and there's some pretty cool
designs and I'm gonna probably end up
working on some more but I'm pretty
happy with it I got the macabre die so
it's go he'd ruin the Flower of Life and
a sacred Spyro of the hexa dekha con or
something like that or there's some
interesting stuff again vibration sacred
geometry is the the language of the
universe again it's the Word of God
because it's consistent it changes not
the vibrations don't lie go check out
the collection I think you guys would
love it just go to truseq accom
backslash shop it'll send you straight
there with that I'm gonna say peace and
Shalom and thank you guys for all the
support all the love everyone's
supporting via patreon again couldn't do
this without your help
so thank you if you want to partner with
me and see all the things that we have
available a pretty sure we made it
worthwhile my entire collection of music
Thursday night school of the mystic
Sunday morning sere class bunch of cool
stuff patreon.com backslash crucita see
you guys later
peace peace
the earth
this episode folks to hear more episodes
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