In this episode of The TruthSeekah Podcast TruthSeekah is joined by Dr. Stanley Robertson as they discuss the power of quitting.
Dr. Stan has become known as “the quit doctor” because of his relentless determination to heal the world of the stigma and shame associated with the concept of quitting. He is an author, coach and speaker.
It is the aim of this book to help us, as a culture, to heal from the affective consternation experienced from decades of the myth that quitters never win. This myth disrupts our sense of well-being. It prevents us from disengaging from those pursuits that are either unattainable or no longer desirable, and keeps us from embarking on those that will make us happy and lead to an immense sense of well-being. It is important that we shake off the unhealthy attitude toward the concept of quitting. We will be better off as a society when we reappraise the mental angst levied against those who quit. After reading this book, you will have a better understanding of when to quit and how to align your behavior with your new goals in such a way that gives you the maximum chance of success. It really is true that no one ever achieved true greatness without the ability to quit. This is an important truth to share because your success may depend on it!
For more info check out his website at www.thequitdoctor.com
Buy Dr. Stanley Robertsons Book Here Quit: The Last Principle of Success
Read Transcript
QUIT: THE LAST PRINCIPLE OF SUCCESS | Dr. Stanley Robertson YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znW6b5o4sN8 Transcript source: YouTube captions Podcast truth seekers podcast buckle up everyone we're talking UFOs ghosts spirit Aaron our truth seeker and/or its affiliates are not responsible for any strange phenomena that may occur during or after listening to this podcast which may include the following heightened sense of awareness psychic abilities UFO sightings alien contact time loss out-of-body experiences bringing in the Year CSP lucid dreaming increasing chronicity astral projection telepathy stronger intuition levitation miraculous healings and on remote viewing the advanced a simple joint decision when I don't be you are now locked into the to signal to the paranormal esoteric and all things spiritual hey what's up ladies and gentlemen I'm your host troupe sticker this is the truth seeker podcast excited delighted to be with you guys again today got an awesome show plan for you got a awesome subject matter that we're gonna be getting into we're gonna be talking about quitting losing starting over and what that means for someone and and and not to be afraid to do that you know when we have things stacked up against us sometimes it seems like we're in over our head and things like that for me just what's been the story of my life just throughout looking back man it's the fact that I've left my setbacks be like a slingshot to propel to propel me where I need to go so I'm gonna we're gonna talk about today I'm gonna give you some of my examples of my stories but we're gonna hear from the man himself dr. Stanley Robertson here in a few minutes I want to say a huge thank you to everybody who has supported my work via patreon this podcast is not possible without your help so thank you again from the bottom of my heart everybody who is supporting if you'd like to support please head on over to patreon comm backslash truth seeker there you get access to my entire discography of work unreleased podcasts and some fan exclusive stuff over there you get access to our Thursday night school of the Mystics Sunday morning seer class the community aspect to what we're building here on the podcast as well so yeah make sure y'all go over to check that out patreon.com slash true seeker also one of the everybody know over at the shop troops to get out come back slash shop I just released this morning our sacred geometry collection of clothing that I've been working on for some time so there's some new merch available for everybody who wants to support go ahead and jump I've been to today's discussion brother dr. Stanley podcast hey Darren Thank You thanks man I appreciate you having me on actually I'm pretty excited to share a little bit of information about how people can disengage from the things that don't work in other words how you can become a successful quitter that's good and there's all of these preconceived notions and I even heard I was listening to a interview the other day and something they were talking about quitting and someone throughout the term they said uh there's time I'll rehab and they said rehabs for quitters man you know and they just look at quitting as being like this this negative thing with the fact that you have to admit that you failed or you messed up and now you got a backtrack for those in the public eye and you've been put in time and money and effort into this thing and then it doesn't work out you have to humble yourself and and backtrack but it can be the best thing that's ever happened to you right yeah that's right well two things that you just said that it's a little bit disturbing for me in terms of people understanding why you need to give up something number one is that the reason why we don't want to quit the reason why we don't want to disengage is because somehow Society has taught us it's um it's almost like we've been brainwashed we've been it's been drilled into our psyche that you can never give up and if you do then you are a quote loser in other words the word quit has become synonymous with loser which is really unfortunate because it prevents us from disengaging from things that that we ought to disengage from so I think that's one of the issues that we have going on another issue is that when you look at the things let's take your example if you need to give up something let's say you you want to go to rehab and someone says oh you have to admit that you know that didn't work out you've invested all this time you've invested all this money that is something that we refer to as the sunk cost mentality sunk cost and what I mean by sunk cost is that if you make decisions based on past history in other words you've already spent the money so now you you keep doing something because you spent a lot of money or a lot of time or effort in the past well it doesn't matter what happened in the past what we should be concerned about is the future in other words if you continue doing the thing that you're doing is that gonna bring you better results is that gonna get you where you want to go if it's not you should stop doing it you should not keep doing stuff let me just give you a quick example if I might that there was this some back in I guess the six nineteen sixties we had something called the Vietnam War the American president at that time had gotten sucked into the war based on this thing called the domino theory the domino theory was just this concept that if you can bring down North Korea I mean up North Vietnam then you might be able to bring down other communist countries they call that the domino theory because they figured the collapse of one communist regime could affect the collapse of other regimes around the world so we got sucked into the war based on that very quickly the we had problems our soldiers we started losing our guys our troops were demoralized they could not win the war and then the advisors told the president this is a no-win situation there is no way for us to come out of this good so we should cut our losses the president at that time said no we can't quit because of all the lives that have been lost if we come out we're gonna look like losers America looks like it lost so therefore they continue to engage and the problem so that is one of the problems with this idea of the sunk cost so we should not be saying that we we've done X in the past we've lost all these lives in the past because it's not gonna justify losing more lives in the future if you lost money in the past and you know that this thing is not gonna work it's not gonna lead to your success you need to quit you should not continue doing it because you're just gonna lose more money it doesn't make any sense perfect man we're what I want to know I want I want to know how this became personal for you like what Letta passing within you to write this book and how did you have to come to wits and say you know what I've made some wrong decisions or what whatever what's your story and why is this personal for you yeah I've got two things that actually happen for me one of them is when when I was much younger I understood the benefits of quitting the benefits of giving up things when I was a teenager I was working and I had gotten my check I was happy a couple hundred bucks yeah because I'm talking 20 years ago so I was very happy I was on my way home and I bet this guy this swing the VHS recorder had just come out you know that thing was like six seven hundred bucks so this guy was gonna sell me one for just a couple of hundred dollars I was happy because I got that's all I could afford cuz I'm that's all I had in my pocket long story short I went ahead and bought the VCR from him took it home and I was gonna plug it in to make sure you know see everything work I'm excited I opened the box and I pull out a box of bricks now this obviously is devastating her heat that just kind of led me into this life of petty theft because I had to get my money back somehow right so you know I started stealing and doing all this other you know nonsense eventually I went to the Marine Corps and when I got into the Marine Corps continue my life of petty thievery and I ended up in debris court-martial losing all my stripes and that's when I had to make a decision because that is a very low and devastating point for a young person well that I realized then you've got to be able to give up some things you've got to stop doing some things in your life if you want to advance yourself if the thing you're doing is not getting you where you want to be now of course at the time I thought you know kind of a life of petty crime couldn't get me where I wanted to be which was a lot of money and successful but I figured out very quickly that that's that's not really gonna work so I needed to disengage I needed to come up with a new plan so that was one of the things then the second thing that happened when I actually wrote this book I wrote this book last year and the thing that happened when I wrote this book is my son is now in the Marine Corps and he was trying to make a decision whether he wanted to re-enlist or not and I was talking to him and I got the sense from him that he was struggling with if he get out he's an officer in the Marine Corps so if he decided to get out people were going to look at it as oh you quit you should have kept going you should have continued to do it because you know you can do this your 20-some years old you'll be 40 years old you can retire you'll be set for the rest of your life you know you know the drill right so I'm having this conversation with him and it just strikes me it hits me like a ton of bricks if you can get workbox wood bricks so it stretched me like a ton of bricks and I said to him at first I was saying to him the same thing that everybody else was saying and that is that you should keep going you should not stop you've got to do this because this is great this is good for you and then I realized I'm doing the same thing to him that I was doing to myself and that the world is doing to him and a lot of other folks and that is we're encouraging people to do things because of the stigma attached to the idea of quitting so that's when I said you know what ma'am I went to sleep that night around 2 o'clock in the morning one word hit my brain and that word was quick cue uit and I said you know what that's the book that I'm gonna write that's awesome man so many there's so many different examples that that kind of tie into that I mean I can look at what I'm doing I didn't quit my job I was let go from my job but it kind of propelled me to pursue my passion and my dream you know what I'm saying and so there's a lot of people who were like stuck at these quote-unquote dead-end jobs they don't want to be there they're miserable at their job they got to do something like but there's like a gulf in between that quitting and then all the naysayers I mean we it was hard for me to like my wife's family like you know talking about insurance and all of this kind of stuff and all these reasons not to quit but when you have to weigh them out on this scale like pursuing your passion pursuing your dream you have to you have to stick with it and you got to step out right yeah you do um a lot of people are working jobs that they hate and when I say hey I literally mean hate in other words they're going to jobs every day and they're being stressed out now the problem with this number one is you're not gonna perform at your best level you're never gonna be the best you can be working and doing something that you hate doing every day so that's kind of a given but the other hidden problem is that it is causing us as Americans stress and the stress impacts your your mental and physical health so in other words by going to jobs we hate staying continuing to do something that doesn't work for you is literally killing you and it's not just jobs jobs is one area where we yeah relationships especially when it comes to marriage you know there is a taboo in terms of marriage if you for example let's say the relationship is not working out the relationship is appears if whatever is going on we are very reluctant to give up that marriage what that relationship again because of what society says and how society will look at you like oh you know you did youdid you should have stuck it out or you could have worked or you just couldn't make it work so in other words it's a reflection on you somehow because the relationship didn't work out and this again is very bad so we have people stuck in abusive toxic relationships because they refuse to give up the relationship and that's just that just that's just not good yeah especially when it's second or third relationships like you know you just keep keep quit and keep giving up right yeah I had this young lady that I know she's out in Southern California and she was in a marriage it was very abusive she was overweight and she said that she had been shame not only by people you know in her community but her husband actually fat shamed her one day she had a baby and he comes into the room after the delivery of the baby he reaches down on the bed and kind of lifts up the excess skin on her stomach after the delivery and he says to his wife do you think I could be attracted to that now this is this is obviously very abusive type of situation for her but she would not give up that relationship now eventually she did but it took her a long time when she finally gave up the relationship she lost all her weight her self-esteem skyrocketed she became a very successful author and yoga instructor so just because she would not give up that abusive relationship it affected her mental state and her physical health and when she finally did give up she became this very happy successful beautiful woman just because she was able to quit that relationship which was bad in the first place so it really makes no sense for us to allow the these external factors to cause us to stick with things that that are harmful yeah man let me let me ask you about this because there's this notion this popular term phrase we've heard let your haters be your motivators right and I remember being in in in was of ministry or jobs or business or starting starting something that you know get a couple days a couple weeks couple months into you like man I I'm not supposed to be doing this you know and you're still investing money you're still wasting time you're still making connections that you're not supposed to be making simply because you don't want the haters to say told you so so so I let the haters be your motivators but as I know let your passion be your motivator let God be your motivator right versus your haters because you'll be doing stuff and afraid to pull out because of the fear of what they're gonna say and you know aha you know we told you from the beginning this wasn't right or whatever the case is right yeah I don't like haters son I don't like people who I just don't like negative people period so if for me I want to engage with people who are positive people who are encouraging people who are uplifting it just doesn't make sense to spend my time and energy because the things that people do the things that people say even the emotions that people bring to you impact you because those things are are tangible now you may not be able to see them right you can't see emotions you can't see feelings you can't see words but those things are tangible those things impact you they there is actually an energy feeling you probably already know this there's an energy field that is created in human beings and that impacts the other person who you are interacting with so for me I don't want to be in that space with a negative individual so if the person is a hater I'm out yeah again just you know staying in something where you need to need to pull out like you know it's funny too you know we talk about a lot about spirituality in the Bible and a lot of ancient texts and stuff like that and it's really interesting when we hear like the word in Christianity the word repent turn from your sins repent and that word that comes from the Hebrew and breaks down to the Greek as well the word Metanoia which means to have a change of thinking to stop doing the thing that you're doing essentially turn from the things that are killing you like stop doing the bad stuff learn from your mistakes and have a change of heart have a change of mind is literally what it translates to mm-hmm yeah well I think we do I think that is very important concept you need to change your mind on many things in many instances and there are a lot of factors that would cause us to to be in a position where we should Jeremiah so for example if you're doing something you you have a goal you have something that you're trying to do if the thing is not working out for you then you should change you shouldn't keep doing it but also you should not keep doing something just because and this is going back to your your concept of haters you shouldn't keep doing something just because other people are saying you should do it or you shouldn't quit doing it just because other people are saying you should quit in other words you should not stop or repent or change your mind that should be an internal decision based on your goals based on whether your what it is you want to do what it what it is you want to achieve in life not what someone else does but what the one point that I would make here though is that we know that external pressures cause us to do things that we don't want to be doing but there's also something internal in our brains that impacts that decision as well there was a study that was done which we refer to as the jigsaw puzzle study in the jigsaw puzzle study they took two groups of people they gave the first group of people a jigsaw puzzle and they said work this thing until you'd done which they completed it was the second group they gave the same puzzle they said work this thing until you're done except they interrupted them they would not let them finish the puzzle what they found is that the group who completed the puzzle went on about their day they never thought about it again the second group who they interrupted they would not let them finish they continued to think about the puzzle they thought ha Wow you know I could have finished that or that wasn't fair or whatever their thinking was so what they determined in that study is that the human brain is hardwired for completion in other words whenever something is interrupted if you're not able to finish or complete a task your brain is gonna keep going back to that thing thinking about the fact that you were not able to complete it so again we have these external pressures but we also have this internal working inside our brain that sometimes prevent us from giving up things because our brain is hardwired for completion so we keep doing it even though it may be detrimental to us against all odds there's a there's a sense of like victory or you know like you say completion and we won we want to see the best in it we want to look at that spouse or whatever and think and see the best in them or or change the circumstance and say you know shift the blame even or whatever the case says making up these words scenarios just so that it would work out right and it doesn't always work that way sometimes many times we need to quit yeah yeah that's true now I do believe that it is beneficial for us to think you know positive it's beneficial for us to think it's going to work out you know we should always think this is gonna work out this is going to be good this is gonna get me where I want to go I think we should always think that but we should we have to be realistic in that thinking so in other words we've got to evaluate what's happening you should never be negative if you get to the point where you think this is not going to work well at that point it's a dead end and that's when you should give it up but up until the you get to the point where you recognize this thing is not gonna work you should always think it is gonna work no matter what the odds are no matter what the circumstances are it's always going to work out because most normally it does work out it's just that if you reach that brick wall and you get to the point where there's no way that I can get the results that I'm looking for that's when you need to give that thing up do you think that um most people internally know that they should quit what they won't it's like because it you know there's some people who are just oblivious they don't even know but I think most people know like I'm I'm grasping for straws here they know they should give up but it's the fear the failure that I told you so's that prevent them to just stay in there even longer I don't know if I don't know the numbers like if most people think that way but I do know that that is a major problem that is one that may be the number one problem that causes people to not quit things because we have these notions in our brain that you know if I quit it's gonna be bad I know this you know this may not work out I'm afraid now I'm afraid to quit the job because I may not find another job or I'm afraid to give up this marriage because I don't want to be lonely or whatever the situation is so I think that in my mind that is the number one problem that prevents us from disengaging and and this word disengaging you know I've done a lot I've read like every study I've read every book that I could find on the subject of quitting and there's actually a technical term for the notion of quitting and it's called gold disengagement and gold disengagement means that so the idea of quitting is this if you're gonna quit something it means you're doing something so the research shows that if you're engaged in some activity that you are trying to make a decision as to whether you should give it up the the research refers to that is disengaging so that's why it's called gold disengagement and that's the technical term for quitting because if you read any studies doing it look at any research you'll never see the word quit but you'll always see the word gold disengagement so there are two things behind the concept of gold disengagement that needs to happen for you to successfully give up something one is you need to give up the effort in other words stop doing the thing the second one which is more difficult is that you need to give up the commitment so you need to give up the effort and the commitment in order to be successful in order to successfully disengage from something so we can give up and most people can give up the effort in other words they can stop doing the thing but the problem is we have a very difficult time giving up the commitment in other words letting go mentally letting go you know we're attached to that person we're attached to that house we live in you know California for example and there's wildfires all over the place there's earthquakes and we say no you know I'm gonna move I'm gonna I don't want to live here anymore or we live in New Orleans and you know and there's there's floods all over the place or we live in Chicago and there's 50 degrees below wind chill and we say I'm not gonna stay here anymore but we are attached you know from some kind of emotional attachment or some other attachment to this in this particular space so the point is that we can give up the effort but is very difficult to get the commitment and that may be one of the problems based on what you know what you're describing is that people may know internally that something is not gonna work out but the emotional attachment prevents them from from quitting if you're in a place where you're like you're not thriving you're not wanting and you know deep down within that it's not gonna work because you're not supposed to be doing it the best thing to do is just to quit right and it I think it helps everybody because if you're on a job that you get you're not fulfilled at you know you're not supposed to be there you want to quit but then the bills tell you no you can't quit or whatever situation it is like you're making a bad work environment no you know it could be you're a disgruntled employee you're just not happy you're not fulfilled you don't take your job seriously if you're in a relationship it never works out good if you're in a place you need to back out I mean people start going outside of their marriages right the longer they stay in it they become they end up becoming a cancer to that to that thing if you're in a business deal if you're making relate in in relationships you're meeting people you're you're wasting money I mean I can tell you countless times that I've started things trying to find my niche and I would be in it for a few months or weeks and I would know I need to pull out but I got too many people involved I got co-host on this podcast we've invested a bunch of money into logos and animations and all of this stuff and I'm like now don't spend five six hundred dollars in two weeks on something that I'm just gonna pull the plug on and deep down I already know that I'm gonna pull the plug on it because this isn't I can't see myself there in the future but it's just like letting everybody know and like now you let everybody down and the weight is on your shoulders and those type of thing and you may lose friendships over you know what I'm saying and it's part of it so that's a big burden to bear that you want to just try to juggle and and stay in it and and and take the burden of it all versus have everything kind of implode on you and you'd be the reason why these other people aren't happy or whatever the case is but it usually never works out if you know that's what's going on just you know go ahead and pull out man yeah that's true and don't forget there's this thing called the sunk cost fallacy which says that you should not make a decision about your future based on your past investment so it doesn't matter how much you spent or you know how many people you pulled into the project if the thing is a deity and you should not continue to do it just because you know you spent X amount of dollars in the past that's a bad decision you got to think about your future what makes the most sense going forward not looking backward but looking forward now so that's one thing the other thing though is you mentioned about jobs and stuff companies are now starting to recognize that it's better if an employee does not want to be there a lot of times employee will not quit for various reasons they can't pull the trigger so now companies are starting to give them incentive to quit Amazon because one of the biggest companies in the world if not the biggest company in the world they actually have a quit bonus a quit bonus is the the CEO of the company every year he makes an offer to his employees if you are not happy at working at Amazon I will pay you to quit so they are actually trying to give people incentive to quit because you know people can't do it on their own for various reasons you know it's very difficult to give up something so but Amazon recognizes that if you have someone there that doesn't really want to be there that this is not we're where their heart is this is not the thing that gets them up in the morning they recognize that that person is costing them more money to employ then just to pay them to leave and that's that's what they refer to as the quit bonus and there's um there are several companies that are doing that now and I think that more and more companies will come to realize that and more and more companies will get on that page as we go forward what are some of the signs if someone is in a relationship a business or whatever I mean I know it applies to like every area of our life but what are some of the signs to let us know we this this has run its course I need to I need to back out what are some of the signs of that for somebody who may seem oblivious to it right well it one of the biggest signs and again it just kind of rents across the board but you know there's this thing in business which which we refer to as ROI return on investment if you are doing something and the the thing that you are doing is not getting you the results that you want in other words it's not yielding the returns that you want now that does whether it's a business venture or whether it's an investment whether it's a relationship it's just not yielding the the results that you want it's not getting you where you want to go that is of a very obvious sign that's in your face it's like you know you've got this relationship or you've got this this business thing going on but you're not getting where you want to be then you definitely ought to think about giving that up another sign is now the the one that just mentioned is kind of the return that you're getting are you getting the results that you want the other one is are you making any appreciable steps forward in other words if you're doing something but the thing that you're doing is not propelling you forward because obviously there's steps that you have to take if you're going through something because anytime you build something you're gonna start you know at one point and you're gonna go to point B and C and D and so forth until you get to you know the the result that you desire if the thing that you're doing you keep putting in more and more effort but the return is becoming less and less then that again it's another time when you should think about giving up the thing yeah and there's other there's other things too that you should think about you should you should think about quitting like for example you should think about quitting something if the thing that you're doing is something that you are doing this for someone else and you dread doing it in other words you hate doing the thing now you know that if every morning you get up and you complain because you got to go you know to do this thing you got to go to work or you wake up beside this particular person who you don't want to be with and you're looking at the person like oh my god why am I here if you find yourself in that space you dread the things that's again a very big sign where you ought to consider giving up that thing because again it's gonna lead to a very bad physical and mental space for you and the other people that are involved yeah that's it that's a big one because people like if we almost kind of end up there by default in many cases we're defaulting on this job when I was a kid I didn't know I was gonna be a garbage man like that wasn't my dream I just ended up here because I needed a job and I've been here 10 years now right so they wake up and they hate their job but that's like been their life you know what I'm saying they haven't they you know there are jobs that you can get where you wake up and you love to go to work and you you wake up and you love to clock in you're in your zone and it's different for everybody you know for me I wake up I get to do music I get to work on podcasts and interview people and just create content that seemed like something that wasn't possible at all to obtain and bring into my reality but um but there are ways to do it and people just get used to kind of being sick and tired or used to staying in that in those failed relationships or jobs or whatever that they're building but it's like universal you can be in a relationship where you're in love you don't I'm saying will you look at that person and you you still get starry-eyed you're still you know in love with that person it but it's it's I don't know it's different for everybody like I think Envy has a lot to do with it like like looking at someone who has a good marriage I'm like man I wish I had that or looking at someone who does music in my example say man I wish I could work on music but I got to drive this truck for 17 hours today right these weird things but being able to manifest that bringing it to your reality you have to you can't do both right you can try to kind of merge them together but eventually you're gonna have to quit one and really focus on the other and so the things that I tell people you know part part of that transition and whatever you're doing is trying to do something today like try to put some type of seed in the ground that's gonna come up and manifest tomorrow whether it's on that job or whatever the case is you have to do something today to create the life that you want for yourself tomorrow right yeah that's true um in in order to do that you have to plan you've got to plan in other words some people go through life and just kind of let life happen by circumstance well that's really not a good way to function you need to think about what it is you want to be doing and then you can come up with a plan to get there and that's the thing about quitting and when you quit something you don't just stop doing it in you know that's it you become dormant that's not the idea yeah the idea is if you're doing something and that thing is not getting you where you want to be it is to give that up but the key is to reengage your efforts the reason you quit something is so that you could free up that space that mental space that physical time you want to free up that time from the thing that is not working so that you can actually do the thing that will work and that's the point of quitting so the point is not just to say well you know I'm done I'm you know I'm finished with life no you're not finished with life right until you die so the idea is to disengage and that's why the research refers to it as gol disengagement the the idea is to disengage from one thing so that you free up the time the effort to do the next thing which means that the in this is actually a good point too and that is that if you're going to stop something a lot of people have a problem with quitting things because you know they're afraid that they don't know what the future is gonna look like they don't know if they're gonna get a new job they don't know if they're gonna find love again they don't know if they're gonna be lonely whatever the situation is one of the things that will help people make the transition in other words help you give up that first job is if you find a new job you can give up that old career if you create yourself a new career you can give up that toxic relationship if you're open to finding new love so the idea is if you're gonna give up things if you're gonna be successful at quitting the things that are not working for you the best thing for you to do is plan your future what are you going to do next if you have a plan for what you're gonna do next it's a lot easier most people would prefer to say to let's say you're gonna now first of all you shouldn't be overly concerned with the external world but you know we are right so most people would prefer to say to their spouse or to their friends or their family most people would prefer to say I quit this job and I'm gonna be working for this company versus saying oh I quit my job and then period so as long you have something else we feel okay with giving up the first thing but if you don't have something else lined up it's a very big problem to give up the first thing and that's that's valid except sometimes when it's with the the the relationship because it's like oh you already with something true that is true relationships are very delicate you know obvious reasons and that message you should you know kind of have somebody waiting in the wing a lot of people do let's be honest a lot of people that's why a lot of relationships in because they got somebody waiting in the wings but no I'm not saying that you need to do that I'm just saying that you need to be open you need to be open to finding new relationships to meeting new people in other words if you're gonna give up a bad relationship which you should if a relationship is bad if it's toxic if it's abusive you definitely want to give that up and sometimes it may not have to be abusive it's you just may be in a relationship that you know to you the two people are have different goals for their lives you know and you just not compatible and that's cool too if you're in that situation you want to go ahead and disengage from that particular relationship I'm not saying that you should have another person waiting in the wings but I am saying that you should be open to meeting other people you should be open to dating again you should be open to go finding the places where people you know socialize and hang out that you may be interested in in meeting now maybe this has something it kind of ties in with the you know letting my haters be my motivators but the shame that comes with it was even the term like you know quitters never win or whatever the case is you know winners never lose I've heard it I've heard it interchangeable you know yeah yeah you know winners never quit and quitters never win that's a term that was coined by the football coach Vince Lombardi and he said winners never quit and quitters never win I guess this point was to motivate the players and motivate people to not give up to not quit and to continue to push through and there is some validity to pushing through the the issue is you don't want to keep pushing through on something that is a dead end you don't want to keep pushing through on something that's going nowhere and something that you don't want to be doing now if you if you're doing something that that is not going anywhere you don't want to do it you just decide it yeah you know I don't want to play the horn anymore I don't want to play the piano anymore you know I want to run track fine quit playing the piano and go run track so you the idea of pushing through means if you're doing the thing that you know you don't want to be doing that's not really working for you not getting bringing you success not making you happy not fulfilling you don't push through quit doing that thing if you find the thing that you do want to do let's say you want to be a track runner now you do need to push through if you know that this is what I want to be doing and I have to practice I've got to get better I've got to improve yeah you want to push through that practice you want to push through the next practice and the next practice and continue pushing yourself to excel to be better but again pushing through and this idea that winners never quit and quitters never win will apply if the thing that you apply that concept to is the thing that works for you if the thing is not working for you then it's disaster to apply that concept now what about pipe dreams and unattainable goals that we set for ourselves they backing out of that to really get a good understanding of what is attainable or maybe the pipe dream could be attainable but there's practical steps to kind of get there and kind of pull like a lot of times we put the cart before the horse right when when we just want to go straight there but there's different practical steps to get there how do we get out like a right understanding with pulling out of some of these goals that we've set too early or too quick or whatever that we need to pull out of two things number one pipe dreams are very tricky personally I'm okay with people dreaming because that is what kind of gets our juices flow and he gets our creativity going so I'm okay with dreaming because that you know there's nothing wrong with that you know there's nothing wrong with saying you know oh I want to be I want to be a great actor or I want to be a great ballplayer nothing wrong with that at all so I think that dreaming now when you say pipe dream I'm assuming that you're kind of referring to something that's not even in the realm of possibility for you you know let's say that I don't know you your 98 pounds and your pipe dream is to play professional football in the NFL well obviously that doesn't make any sense so pipe dreaming from the standpoint that the thing that you're dreaming about is impossible physically mentally you don't have the competence the skills or whatever that could be a problem but other than that I think dreaming is a good thing for us to do so I'm not opposed to that at all yeah now in terms of setting your goals though you do have to come up with a plan in in in my book there are steps I think there's eight steps to you know to set your goals so once you do decide that you want to do something whatever the thing is that you want to do then there is a process that you can go through in order to figure out what the thing is how to do it set your goals break them down into small and manageable pieces and then enlist the people and the resources that you need then you have to of course verify or you know kind of prioritize your list you've got to go ahead and manage it you've always got to come back you can't just like set the goal and then go away you've always got to be readjusting because you know you have to correct your course as you go along but so there is a process in order to reach your goals and that process is very important it should not be overlooked not talking about the process of quitting and things like that and we've been talking about jobs we've been talking about relationships I was like the main two I guess like maybe they come first maybe unhealthy eating right these other things does that does these steps work with with things like unhealthy eating or quitting smoking or breaking a porn addiction or something like that does it work for every area of our lives yeah yes it does um now each area of your life of course there are the specifics the details are gonna be different because if you're trying to say quit smoking cigarettes you're gonna have to do something different than if you're trying to quit a negative mentality or quit a bad relation or so the the specific mm-hmm so the specific things the details of what you do will vary but the steps are gonna be the same and it doesn't matter you're still gonna have to go through certain steps through certain things in order to give up something so again kind of depending on what it is you're giving up that will dictate the specifics of what it is you need to do within each step now I know we've covered some of the steps already but if we was to kind of look at them like an overview what are the four steps that you've come up with yes so the four steps that I that I determined and like I said I this is coming from the the research and the studies or the books I touch I read every book that I could find on the subject of quitting and I've read every study that I could get my hands on and what I found when I looked at this material is that I could boil down and summarize everything into one of these four areas so I just kind of put it all together and created this four step process and I use the word quit qu IT as an acronym to describe the four steps now just to make it easy to remember so the first step which is the Q stands for quick quickly quit quickly quick quickly just means just I'll give you the short version quit quickly just means you need to recognize as fast as you can when something is not working and stop doing it because the most successful people they don't continue to do things that don't work for them now people who are not successful we continue to try to push through and we we don't recognize that you should give this up but people the the successful the wealthy people they will give it up immediately and start to do the something else that's going to be more productive for them so understanding really fast that's that is not working the faster you recognize it's not working and the faster you give that up the more successful you're going to be so that's the first step quit quickly and then there are some things you need to do of course to recognize that the second step which is the you understand negative emotions and that's some of the things we've been talking about now which is recognizing that there are emotional things that may prevent you from disengaging or from quitting something like we mentioned like the sunk cost fallacy if you can understand that there this idea that we've invested so much in the past we've invested all the money we've invested the resources if you can recognize that that thing that you put in in the past is you should not make a decision based on that but you should make a decision based on the future in other words where do I want to be not what have I already done that's one of the things that could help you get past the emotional baggage that prevents you from quitting so the second step and again there's some other things as well but the second step is to understand those negative emotions and understand how to navigate around it and that's Q that's you I is to initiate new goals because as we mentioned just a few moments ago when you give up something you can't just you know stop altogether you have to create some new goals for yourself and then the last one is the T Q uit is to transform your behavior because when you give up something and you create some new goals you cannot do the same thing that you were doing before I mean if you're gonna stop smoking cigarettes you can't keep doing the same behavior whatever it was in other words you can't continue going to the Walgreens and buying a package of cigarettes right you got to stop doing that so you gotta adjust your behavior in some way in order to be successful after you give up something so that's the four steps q uit quit quickly understand the negative emotions initiate your new behavior in the initiate your new goals and then transform your behavior you give some examples as well of like stars or just just like notable people who have quit something to go on and do something else great right and it's not necessarily that they were in something bad or whatever the case is you talk about what's the name Vontae Davis or whatever quit the NFL Michael Jordan quit basketball started baseball and right quit baseball to go back and then to win some more championships the rock quit wrestling to become a movie star now he's in all the top blockbusters out there now you know and so these are people who have quit you know and uh and and and have continued to go on and be successful right in the different things that they were like easy like you're always gonna do this or you've been here 20 years you might as well stay you know let this be your legacy late no I got some other things that I want to do but you can't balance the two right yeah may need to quit something it's because of your life cycle in other words um going back to say the rock our Arnold Schwarzenegger if you know our disorder or was they a bodybuilder and he action are successful at all those things but at some point you can no longer be a bodybuilder right because your body is gonna change as the aging process so he found something else to do he said hey you know I'm at the top of my game I'm a bodybuilder but now I'm gonna be an actor and that's gonna take me further you know into my next stage of life and then at some point you can't be an action star he says you know what I'm gonna be a governor and then that's gonna take me further so we should recognize that life circumstances will sometimes dictate the need for you to change and I think that's what also happened with um with Michael Jordan the reason he quit baseball originally I mean basketball and went to baseball is his dad had gotten killed and he said that of course he was devastated he kind of lost his his edge for the game of basketball so he gave up the game retired but he still wanted to do something so he said that his dad always wanted to be a baseball player so he in honor of his father who had just been killed he wouldn't play baseball but when he did that he recognized he was not good at baseball so what did he do he quit and went back to basketball which was a very good move because he won three more championships we got the three-peat and he becomes the best player arguably on the planet and people can debate that but arguably he's either the best or at least one nobody can debate that he's at least one of the best players but that would have never happened if he had not given up the pursuit of baseball so so that is a very good example of you know sometimes you do need to quit for various reasons and when you do it you don't have to necessarily be losing or quitting for a bad reason yeah or just like in the example of on Terry dad was like you know we kind of see that in in a lot of the movies or whatever like somebody's about to sign this big contract or go off and move cross-country to take a new job that's gonna bring about all the money and then halfway through the movie or the climax they they take the contract and they throw it away just so they can be with their kids or do what they love versus you know trading off a passion for like this exchange of money which isn't worth it because they wouldn't be happy and be able to thrive with their family and things like that so we see those kind of scenarios just woven through a lot of movies actually right oh sure and that happens in real life too like you said we know that Dave Chappelle for the people who are with him yeah he he was at the height of his comedy career on TV they offered him about fifty million dollars and he walked away from it no we also saw that with you know as you mentioned Vontae Davis same thing he left the NFL Magic Johnson just recently gave up he was the president of a professional basketball team in Los Angeles Lakers and he just quit being the president say wow why would you quit being the president I mean this is like a dream right nobody quits been the president of the Los Angeles Lakers and he said well it wasn't making me happy I wasn't winning was a pretty you know good at it so he gave it up because he felt that it's better to do something that he is gonna be passionate about that he's going to be good at then to just keep doing it you know for the money or the prestige so that happens in the movies but it also happens in real life yeah now what about the like like the calculations of it like calculating when to quit you know we've been talking about that but like because some people quit spur the moment and they were you know they regret it and they can't go back to it right versus like doing some soul-searching and knowing like this is I need to I need to pull out right versus like just spur the moment get mad and in your feelings and I quit are you like oh man I said that that that is probably the number one worst reason to quit you should never quit spur the moment that that's the that's analogous to I'm gonna I'm losing someone to take my basketball and go home well that's the worst yeah that's the worst thing you can do you don't want to do that if something is not going good or you're mad about something you need to think through the thing decide is this still a goal of mine does this thing still serve me if the thing is still viable and it's still part of your dreams part of your goal if it's still part of your plan then you need to suck it up and keep moving forward you know go home take a few deep breaths complain you know to your spouse or significant other and keep it moving and then come back the next day and get back on the job so you don't want to do that on the spur of the moment you always want to think about it let it kind of marinate in your brain is this still my goal does this thing still get me where I want to be and if it is you suck it up and you keep moving so spur the moment quitting is the number one worst thing for you to do I'm reminded of the two week notice on the job you know you put in that two week notice have been thinking about it I've wrote this letter you know I talked with the bosses versus just abruptly quitting and walking away burning your bridges burning your frame of reference for the next job you know all that kind of stuff right that kind of doing it with like bowing out gracefully even right oh absolutely you always you'd never ever and I'm gonna say ever one more time ever want to quit bad you don't want to quit bad you don't want to be on bad terms you don't want to say bad things because even if you hate your job even if you hate your boss even if you hate everybody in the organization you just hate everybody you still don't want to quit on bad terms you want to say hey you know thank you for the opportunity to work here has been it's been wonderful but you know this is just not work for me and you move on because you oh you always want to keep your resources open in other words just getting a reference if someone's gonna call the company next for a reference you want to at least be able to say the person people say oh yeah this was the people's a great guy this this job didn't work out for him you know he wanted to do some other things but if you go out you know angry or cursing people out you know I'll get some crazy stuff you know you lose that as a resource and why should you lose that if you've been working there three years five years ten years yeah you know that's a good resource for you you want to keep those options open yeah yeah part of your legacy man you know if you've been there if you've put up with it that long you know a lot of people do it though man a lot of people freak out you know they can't really hold that peace and uh and calculating and just do a spur-of-the-moment but um but even that could be made right - right so man if people want to check out the book where's the best place for them to go to check it out oh sure the book is called quit the last principle of success you can buy the book on Amazon just type it in my name Stanley G Roberts or you can go to my website the quit doctor.com and that's probably the easiest place if you can't remember you know the title of the book or whatever just go to quit doctor calm the quit doctor calm Stanley T Robertson man for me I was blessed to be fired from my job quitting would have been cuz like you want to make sure it's gonna be a smooth transition especially stepping out of doing something big like uh and I look at my life and my have a family and something like I would have never quit just because the financial security thing like did you wanted to equal out and be a smooth transition and it's not always like that so for me I was always let go for my job but is this I never went back to another one I didn't pick up a nine-to-five so I quit the pursuit of the nine-to-five and all that kind of stuff and it worked out it works out like you know you can make it happen again going back to what what we was talking about like you can actually work at a job or have a life where you love what you do and a lot of people can't fathom that to get up and enjoy life like they think it's a burden this of being a mankind or the sin of Adam or whatever that we have to work by the sweat of our brow and and but man you can really you can wake up every day and do what you love for a living you can write a book you can help you can help people like all the things that you went through and learn and all that stuff to bring it to the table and pay it forward man and it works out for you so man I really appreciate this interview brother thanks for coming on hanging out with me and everybody make sure you go to the website and check out his book it's good stuff all right thanks there Thank You Stanley will do it again man right all right bless Stanley G Robertson ladies and gentlemen good stuff sometimes you got to quit man there's a there's a song is a it's a country song it's talking about like playing five-card draw or something but say you gotta know when to hold them know when to fold them know when to walk away and I don't know the rest of the lyrics we're somehow knowing when to bow out I'm stacking your chips and pulling out cuz like again like when you do you don't do that you're making a you're making a hostile for everyone around you cuz you don't want to be there and if you don't want to be there like you're gonna you know you're gonna be disgruntled you know gossip and slander and like you know like just talking just complaining all the time you're gonna be known for someone who complains literally like you can be in a job you can be in a situation where you love it well you're not complaining you're just overjoyed and you want to stay away from complainers you're gonna do your job the best you can and and love him and and just knowing where that is right knowing how to get from point A to point B it could be hard for some people but you have to to know when to do it you look in the scriptures like like the story of Ishmael like was they I think it was Abraham's son he was a woman and he birthed the son by the name of Ishmael and it was he wasn't supposed to have that son like he stayed a little bit too long he wasn't supposed to go there and many times we get into situations and circumstances and we get into things that we shouldn't do and like people become casualties around you like whether in that situation your co-workers or our casualty the situations where again you're starting a business or starting a podcast you know you spend money and they're just casualties all around you you know going back to the scriptures again I'm always reminded of Jonah in the well I mean that story he's running from God he's in a place that he's not supposed to be he's doing some Dane's he's not supposed to be doing he's disgruntled himself and he tries to run from his calling where he God wants him where he's supposed to be that perfect place in the midst of that he gets on a boat and he's going to another city that he's not supposed to be going to and essentially what happens is those people who were on the same boat with him like God is tracking him down god it's like petitioning him to do what I called you to do you're not supposed to be there do what I called you to do and then so the winds and the waves and the storms and all these outside forces start coming in to woo Jonah back and say look I'm not gonna let you get away that easy man and the way thing about is the people on the boat the guys came together so we done someone's done something to anger the gods and then so the boats about the capsize and sink and they start throwing their own personal possessions and their belongings off the side of the boat and all that kind of stuff and whenever they do they're trying to make it where the boats not gonna sink because they think that you know that they've somebody's done something and then Jonah finally comes forward says look it's not y'all this mean I'm running from God and he's gonna as soon as you get rid of me this storms gonna subside and you guys will go back to everything normal well he does that he was running from God he jumps off the boat I throw him off or whatever and and the people on the boat go back to normal you know they just go back to smooth sailing because there were there where they're supposed to be right but in the midst of that they lost their personal possession it's like they got rid of a lot of stuff and it threw it over the boat and it's the person who's in this place where they're not supposed to be and it messes up the synergy of it all so being in this place where you're supposed to be and in that's where we all need to be in the flow synchronicity is happening opportunities manifestation everything is happening you're in the perfect will of God not in a permissible world where you can just do anything the permissible world's like you won't start a podcast sure free will do it and see what happens you know you're not supposed to do it you do it anyway then you got to learn that's the good thing about it is we were able to learn what it feels like if we keep going and some of us keep doing it anyway some of us you don't have to be reminded time and time and time again but if you're gonna get to this place where you're gonna be successful or you're going to be able to have longevity and stability you may have to back out of some things you may have to repent Metanoia turn from the things that are killing you if you have unhealthy addictions food addictions alcohol pornography in a relationship you're in a bad job you know in just a hostile work environment you got to pull out of that stuff you need to quit you just need to quit man you know but again like I said don't do nothing abruptly people want to make sure that they have something to replace it with like I don't like again with the job thing like people who just quit jobs and they don't know where they're going I'll go out to get a job tomorrow make the transition as smoothly as you can take a take a break and tell them you sick and go do it a job interview whatever you got to do try to make that transition for you and your family a lot easier than just you know quitting cold turkey and I'm gonna start a podcast and like do you even know how to monetize the podcast do you know how to get guests for your podcast do you know how to submit an RSS feed and get on iTunes and do you know how to do that have you done the work right versus just quitting cold turkey you need to do the research and all that stuff and then if you do it then it'll work out great and then you can make your transition seamless where nobody is getting hurt your family's getting hurt because you ain't providing for your family or whatever the case says there's right ways to go about and in doing it with the less casualties as possible when nobody's getting hurt where everybody works out for everybody you know what I'm saying you quitting that job it opens it up for somebody who don't have a job who may love what you're doing I was on jobs with people they loved doing that stuff you know I I used to work at the job what would a guy be I mean it it was he loved cutting grass like this joke would have grass all over his face he wouldn't even wipe it off man this guy's got he's loved it I hated it hate cutting grass being out in the Sun and just I'm wetting and his in and it's just nasty and like I'll do it right but it's not what I'm called to do it's not my passion for somebody like this guy who was cutting grass if he loved it working on lawn mowers and my lawn mowers breakdown I I hate working on that stuff this guy loves it it got gets his brain working you bring him his lawnmower this joker will fix it for free he love fixing lawnmowers he love doing maintenance work everybody's not wired like that and there's a there's an in via again I say the word Envy but you can use that for good as a being around being envious of people who are where they're supposed to be again I always talk about a few people that I really felt like lit something within me like the tattoo artists that I used to go get tattooed from I would go to their job and they loved to be there they get to wake up and draw on you for a living and make really good money I mean these guys are making like man doubles sometimes triple digits a month in some cases from the tattoos that they're doing they just get to wake up every day and draw they're making great great money friends telling Joe they just love to be there they're doing what they're supposed to do so when you go there and you see those people doing it you're like man I wish I would look I want to let me tattoo what y'all let me y'all got in these positions are open you know and uh but then you see other people like artists who are just comfortable in their skin whether it's in it whether it's dealing with religion or doctrine or whatever they're just comfortable and they know who they are I listen to podcasts and see people doing it like Joe Rogan and stuff like that it's like man there's a part of envious like man I want to do that you know and I know we are the Bible says that we're supposed to be the envy of all nations so people are to look at us and be envious but you I want you to envy my marriage Envy model my lifestyle envy my music Envy this because I'm doing it to the best of my ability and I'm doing what I was put here to do doing what I'm called to do and it's the same thing with you guys when you end the place that you're supposed to be you people know man you might you may wear a good mask and play that hypocrite and play those multiple row roles because you have to but people know they can see through it it's paper-thin being in a place where you're doing what you love for a living man and we're we're in a situation now and if we talk about this a lot where you can do it you can start a podcast promote it to the right people put ads on it and make enough money to pay the light bills sell enough t-shirts to pay the power bill and you know what I'm saying and uh and all that kind of stuff and we have the ability to do it and everyone's around you and if you're called to do that you just got to step out and do it but first you got to quit you got to quit doing the things that you're not supposed to be doing you gotta quit wasting time quit uh you know wasting time playing video games when you're supposed to be podcasting right I've had to do it I've had to uninstall games or you know don't even like it'll be times I'll just have Facebook up and I'll just be scrolling and I'll catch myself like what am I looking for you know my daughter will watch like YouTube videos or I'll watch them as well but I'm using my daughter because like you know she had she used to have a YouTube channel as well it's like you spend the time watching all these videos and you're inspired and you want to be a youtuber and you want to have all you need to turn that video off and go make a video I make your own like quit like you know you can you can take in interviews and podcasts again I don't listen to as much podcast as I used to because I'm too busy creating them whether it's doing it spending time creating it or emailing a guest or writing a bio or creating the imagery or trying to share it out and get ad revenue whatever it is so like everything that comes into play you know thank you situation changes but being in the place again where you get to love what what you love what you do for a living I mean I'm reminded of this song I love this song but it's um by the dirty heads I think it's called vacation and it's talking about uh he says I'm on vacation every single day because I love my occupation so every day is like a day that you know it's surreal because I don't know where you are man but I knew where I was and so essentially I know who to talk to in this podcast cuz I'm talking I'm talking to the younger version of me sitting in a dead-end job stuck there I've been there ten years for like you might die there but you you know you're destined for more you got greatness inside of you but you you're delivering car parts you do it to the best of your ability and at the same time don't complain about it because there's people who would love love that job you know and and most likely that job is to answer the prayer you probably prayed for that that place that you're complaining about never do that that's not a good place you when you have to catch yourself if you start doing that so I complaining about the things that you begged God for so I gave it to you now what oh lord I need I need you to give me something else right but being like being learning to become content and all things and it's just weird dichotomy of being content but yet still striving for more to be content but strive for more strive for greatness it's so weird it's a weird place but there's a perfect peace there the Bible says godliness with contentment is great gain so again find out what you you love to do learn how to manifest it bring it to the table get with God and get with the Creator don't work against them you know make this transition a lot easier with that I miss a piece of Shalom thank you guys for hanging out with me again if you want to check out the new t-shirts that we have just released the new sacred geometry t-shirt collection I said that I was going to share it on the screen but I had a setup wrong those of you listening on the podcast and you can't see it anyway but I'm pretty proud of it I've been working on this for a while and there's some pretty cool designs and I'm gonna probably end up working on some more but I'm pretty happy with it I got the macabre die so it's go he'd ruin the Flower of Life and a sacred Spyro of the hexa dekha con or something like that or there's some interesting stuff again vibration sacred geometry is the the language of the universe again it's the Word of God because it's consistent it changes not the vibrations don't lie go check out the collection I think you guys would love it just go to truseq accom backslash shop it'll send you straight there with that I'm gonna say peace and Shalom and thank you guys for all the support all the love everyone's supporting via patreon again couldn't do this without your help so thank you if you want to partner with me and see all the things that we have available a pretty sure we made it worthwhile my entire collection of music Thursday night school of the mystic Sunday morning sere class bunch of cool stuff patreon.com backslash crucita see you guys later peace peace the earth this episode folks to hear more episodes of the truth seeker podcast head over to Jessica calm and if you're wanting to support the show and get rewards go to our patreon page at patreon.com forward slash truth seeker
