Christ Consciousness, Christianity & The Jesus Connection | TruthSeekah Interview
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9rH_qsNZLg
Transcript source: YouTube captions

hey what's up guys I was recently
featured on the Live mana podcast and we
had a really good discussion he's seen
my christ consciousness video and wanted
to pick my brain and interview me about
it so this is the conversation I hope
you enjoy peace peace this is gratitude
unfiltered and you can't see me I don't
know what's going on with the light I'm
just trying to find a different spot to
do this and it's good to see you guys I
am back and so yeah it's just me now so
it's for the best
and the again this show is gratitude
unfiltered because we go places and talk
about things that frankly or not for
everybody and and it makes a little bit
of people uncomfortable because I speak
a truth that is well hard to digest for
some one of those things as you guys
know but that watched the show you know
my beliefs you know that I am a follower
of Christ and yet I'm welcoming and
accepting of people of all belief
systems what's up Kimberly how are you
thank you I have a different microphone
so I don't know how I sound or anything
but what's up Lauren Harris so I'm you
know you guys know my belief systems and
at the same time you guys know that I am
welcoming to all beliefs I don't care if
you love somebody of the some same sex I
don't care if you're Buddhist or atheist
if you are Christ conscious I don't
really care I'm here to love I'm here to
spread love and I'm here to show people
that regardless of what you've done in
your past regardless of the the crap
that you've been through it doesn't
matter how many times you've been to
jail all the drugs you've done it
doesn't matter if you were abused if you
were an abuser it doesn't matter it
doesn't matter it doesn't matter it
doesn't matter if you have a disease you
are welcome you are loved and you have
the opportunity to use all of that stuff
to be a blessing to other people and
this show is gratitude unfiltered for
the very reason that I've experienced
most of those things and yet I live a
very
will happy life and I get to love a lot
of people I get to relate to a lot of
people and frankly not everyone's gonna
accept me but I ain't trying to talk to
you anyway so one of those things that
I'm I've been I always die I love
different viewpoints I love having my
beliefs challenged I loved expanding my
consciousness in my beliefs because
frankly we live in a big freaking
universe and we live in a world where a
lot of beliefs are challenged we we we
question we judge we we have Wars based
on religious beliefs and lately I've
noticed there's a really big new
movement called Christ consciousness
there's the course of miracles book that
that it came in my lap on accident yeah
I'm reading this book going oh my god
this stuff is so profound yet at the
same time you can do some research and
it's pretty controversial and people say
that a borderline Satanism and I've
never seen a video that was more open to
beliefs of Christians yet aligning went
with Crick Christ consciousness and
showing how it blends together I've
never seen anyone do it create a video
quite like truth Zika who's coming on
our show he is has a massive YouTube
following he's an amazing podcast and he
challenges people's beliefs and
sensibilities and I frankly everybody's
welcome on the show I don't care what
your belief system is hey Kimberly Julie
good to see you Jamie good to see you
guys
so I'm open right now to have in my mind
expanded and my beliefs challenged and I
want to see what this is all about it is
an absolute honor that Derek ake a truth
seeker is gonna be on the show so ladies
and gentlemen thought a further ado
let's bring Derek aka truth seeker to
the show what up my man hey how's it
going good dude thank you so much for
God your voice does sound good I so that
really is your voice in the voiceover um
which one no no that's not as far as the
intro that's not me that's somebody
doing the intro oh I'm talking about the
video I discuss I've actually seen a lot
of your videos but what drew me to you
bro is the video that you did on Christ
consciousness yeah well really quick for
the Facebook audience what's up Lotus
good to see you what for the Facebook
audience tell everybody about who you
are first and foremost and what got you
on this this movement movement of
seeking truth oh man that's a really
long story but anyway you got time well
it will impact whatever we can man the
weird thing about those stories is you
never know where to start like I've told
those stories many times where I've come
from what got me into it it's a long
story but you never know where to start
man because like we can start from birth
you know we can start from childhood and
having supernatural encounters and we
can talk about watching supernatural
movies and things like that that kind of
gets you into this type of understanding
or whatever so I think a lot of that
stuff kind of came into play for me and
I'd really never know what where to
start but um anyway I go by the name of
true seeker my esoteric spiritual
hip-hop artists I have my own podcast
the true seeker podcast if I was to give
a quick rundown it's really quick just
so we can get into some juicy stuff
which a lot of this stuff is juicy too
but uh um you know came from a broken
home man I was into you know you know I
got into witchcraft and gangs and stuff
like that at our early age mixing that
stuff together
witchcraft and gang activity that wasn't
a good concoction but I did it and ended
up opening up some doors and portals to
realms that I had no control over and I
ended up getting maybe call it possessed
or going schizophrenic had demons
speaking to me and pulling me in and out
of trances and I couldn't control it it
wasn't fun it looks cool on TV but when
you have it happening and you can't
control it it's not fun
so that happened to me when I was like
16 I had been saved a few years before
that filled with the Holy Spirit upon
asking Jesus to come into my heart and
cleanse me of my sins and Holy Spirit
came in fire shaking crying
beautiful encounter changed my life
forever got into the witchcraft got into
that stuff got in over my head
goin schizophrenic going crazy cried out
to God because I knew the peace and joy
and love of the Holy Spirit that I had
abandoned for about two years kind of
out there playing in the world with that
that was in September 7th of 2000 I came
back to the Lord and I've been walking
with him ever since got into the church
started doing the the regular Christian
experience prayer meetings Bible studies
worship conferences you know I'm saying
the whole nine yards and then fasting
and praying but the more I started doing
that taking it serious it seriously my
my encounters begin to go deeper begin
to look into other books that were taken
out of the bible scriptures they say
don't worry about those scriptures
nobody knows we'll find out in heaven
you know and really getting into some of
the deep deeper things of the scriptures
that's where my heart was and God just
beginning to take me deeper in the word
through revelation I didn't having
experiences and in the spirit realm and
prophetic movements and things like that
and anyway so that kind of happened and
it started changing my music because I
was doing gospel rap so to be a psalmist
or be a you know a writer or creator you
gonna write about what you're going
through
open and honest and I'm going through
these things and I'm putting it in my
music so I was a evangelist telling my
story about how God saved me from
witchcraft how God delivered me things
like that going to churches wrapping to
the use and tell him my story for like
10 years and then started going deeper
into angelology and writing that in my
music and studying it and put it in my
music and then having encounters with
angels and encounters with lights in the
sky and things like that man all of
these crazy experiences man that I was
like backing up with the scripture in it
and the scripture begin to unfold for me
man and become more real and heaven
wasn't this place you go when you die
heaven as a place like literally out
there where the angels travel back and
forth to Amman so anyway my faith began
to shake and build and well as I was
open about this stuff it really wasn't
good in the church realm they really was
like hey watch out be careful stay away
from this guy
that was about you know 2012 when all
that stuff started happening mixing it
with my music and doing podcasts talking
about this type of stuff and so I really
got blackballed from the majority of the
churches that I once served at and
things like that so um that happened
that was 2012 it's been a road ever
since and it took me a while because I
kept going back and forth like thinking
that this was God and that's not God
okay this is God that's not God gods in
this he's not in that in like this weird
duality thing that almost drove me crazy
and it's driving a lot of people crazy
right now going back and forth and hey
that's not God that maybe God you know
all of this weird stuff and uh you know
found out it was God calling me into
these deeper realms man what we make
some people would call mysticism or or
whatever the case is or other religions
or whatever the case is I'm just open to
it all
Christ is still my foundation and I'm
just ready to explore and experience the
depth of what God has man so I I can
appreciate that because I assume
whatever considered blasphemous by
churches yeah I think he just answered
that Lord was asking have the churches
plunge you at all for your beliefs oh
yeah yeah definitely definitely you know
you start being vocal about it and stuff
like that I mean yeah it was it was hard
you know cuz you know you're hugged by
the Brethren they greet you with a kiss
I mean you know what I'm saying they
tell you and if I'm talking to grown men
on the phone that I'm in ministry with
and they're like I love you brother and
usually when you talk to someone on the
phone and say I love you you have to say
I love you back and so for me to say I
love you too like I had to really mean
it you know what I'm saying so though
those times kind of um stuck out to me
man because I meant that I really would
would die for these people you know I'm
saying like this is the Brethren man and
I would and to be blackballed and things
like that because of of the beliefs and
stuff like that I thought it would open
up dialogue because that you know in the
beginning I made sure that I can prove
everything with the scriptures got
notebooks you know all the times the
Bible talks about trans States Oh Ryan
the pleiades the Stars meditation like
all it like demons angels spirits all of
this stuff I've got it all in my music
and I've got I can
proven scripturally for the most part I
thought it would open up dialogue but
they didn't want to hear you know so
they're not interested in conversation
because they they lose control when they
do that and coming threat yeah you see
the Catholic Church modifying its
stances on various issues over the year
you got a question that right you have
to ask why you have to ask what feels
right to your spirit I believe that like
I'm the follower of Christ and for me
it's my walk it's my relationship with
Jesus that matters it's not what the
church says like I me defending Muslims
or me defending Buddhist or anyone have
a different belief system or someone
that's gay or transgendered or like my
job on this planet is to love and I
don't necessarily if something doesn't
feel right in my spirit then it doesn't
feel right and I stand against it but if
I feel right and aligned with it I am
all for it now I want to get into this
Christ consciousness stuff because man
reading that book reading that book
sorry there's a dog back here the course
of miracles really is it's it's like eye
opening and at the same time going wait
a second but Christ says the only way to
the Father is by me but yet we have the
Spirit in us and like why can't like why
can't we bypass all that and go right to
God why can't we connect to the universe
like and there's all of these questions
and they all seem to contradict each
other and then you go do research on
Facebook or you do research on Facebook
you do research in the Bible you do
research on YouTube which can get
confusing it seems to all contradict
each other yet you come out and you kind
of make sense of all of it can you give
your stance on how Christianity Jesus
and Christ consciousness morph together
for me is real simple you know there's
not any I've got a kind of a
responsibility as you do and contention
somewhat we have all of these people out
here talking about Christ consciousness
yeah don't
No Christ they don't know how you
telling me about Christ consciousness
you have no relationship with this
Christ that's the first of all that's a
contention it hold on we gotta
straighten some things up we have to
talk about this so for us just to be
silent and watch the documentaries or
watch the videos and things like that
you know I feel like you know what I
gotta kind of give my take on it which
it honestly is a very biblical take this
is a very simple take about renewing the
mind and walking like Jesus walking in
the car in the same consciousness the
mindset of Christ ie having the mind of
Christ its Christ consciousness let's
unpack that what is that everything like
everything is in there we're learning
new things the weird thing about it is
when we're looking into like other
religions or esoteric documentaries or
whatever the Lord told you to or whether
you happen to see a lot of times man
that stuff helps you unpack even the
Bible that's the crazy thing I say up
you know just the Bible that's all I
need is the Bible no outside sources no
outside information and we're trying to
interpret the Bible with with the Bible
but there's other books
Enoch you know what I'm saying there's
other books that were taken out why were
they taken out what was in there and you
start to unpack this stuff and it makes
all of this other stuff make more sense
man of why Jesus understood why was
Jesus casting out spirits everywhere
what you know what did he think spirits
were how was he able to see them the
Holy Spirit speaking to him audibly the
Holy Spirit speaking to his spirit and
they walk into a crowd of people and
they know the thoughts of people well
that sounds like empathy I have friends
who aren't Christian who who walk in
that you know and you start learning
these other things and for me I started
just opening myself up and stop judging
people according to the Bible or
whatever as far as like if if you are
Christian anyway whatever that means at
this point are you a Christian yeah man
I got a Bible okay you're my friend you
know how did the meet people who had the
fruit of Christ men they were walking in
Christ consciousness they had the fruits
of the Holy Spirit which
Jesus taught us how to judge people
judging is is a good thing the Bible
says a spiritual man judges all things
but he says judge by the fruit and we're
able to tell the fruit of people and so
when we're hanging around with somebody
around somebody for a certain period of
time you better tell what type of person
they are by partaking of their fruit
that their deeds and their actions
there's fruits of the spirit there's
fruits of the flesh there's things that
people do when they don't spend time
with God or they don't spend time with
the holy spirit so all of that kind of
fits in the Christ consciousness man all
of this spirituality and who Jesus was
and what he imparted to his disciples
man it gets deep and in in every little
my new piece of it its nonchalant but no
it's deep we can get as deep as we want
you're talking about hearing the voices
of the Holy Spirit what does that sound
like what does the voice of other
spirits sound like are they petitioning
me are they speaking through the
television are they speaking through the
Stars it gets into a whole bunch of
stuff man and so we have these different
examples in the scriptures of some
really far-out stuff that was going on
and it's beautiful to me and it it's uh
it's it's engaging it for me that's what
Christ consciousness is man walking into
consciousness of Christ very simple but
complex at the same time which is the
entire entirety of the scriptures you
know in life in general is that for you
meaning that do you still pray to Christ
or is it is it different or you're
taking on I mean because there's there's
a lot of different views about what
Christ consciousness is and it sounds
like still your faith is in Jesus you're
pretty much you know what is really is a
biblical perspective man it's nothing
extra biblical but as we explain it
people would maybe think it was far out
you know what I'm saying um but no as
far as when I pray I pray to the Father
you know Jesus kind of bridged that gap
between me and the father and I believe
that and so he made he made me right
with the father and uh kind of tore down
that veil in between that kind of made
things blurry or made us have to go
through a priest to go through anybody
to get the God now we can go within the
kingdom of heaven us within we go within
and meet with the Father and Jesus gives
us that right
and teaches us how to do that and he did
it so you know what I'm saying so I pray
in his name i fellowship with the Holy
Spirit I spend time and intimacy and
prayer with the father very Christian
most could you if you're not a if you're
not a Christian if you're not doing that
like that should be 101 so you know it's
it yeah I get called all kinds of things
we were live a while ago doing a live
stream we do healing sessions in prayer
and stuff and somebody jumped in the
chat and was like hey what kind of what
kind of chat is this man is this a
prayer group
somebody somebody said this is a Wicca
group this is a Christian group this is
that and everybody had something
different to say and this is beautiful
because that we just accept we accept
everyone you know what I'm saying and
and this Commission that to go out there
and and share the love of God the love
of Christ with these people you know
basically what this really is for you is
basically you're taking this anointing
with the blessings that God that God has
given us all gifts like we all have a
supernatural gift available to us in the
more pure that we live but more
righteously that we walk the more
available these gifts are to us and
you're just essentially tapping into the
spiritual gifts that have come through
you through the Holy Spirit is this
correct yep yeah yeah but they begin to
unfold we're told that they're only this
or like there's different names and
terms in the Bible we have the word of
knowledge the word of faith the word of
wisdom you know a lot of stuff really
unpacking it points to ESP extrasensory
perception is that they explain this
stuff really good the feelings there's
like an overview in the Bible there is
no in-depth training and hey do it like
this when the voice speaks to you why
the scripture says that the Spirit of
the Prophet is subject unto the prophets
there's some weird stuff that goes on in
the ethers there's weird stuff that we
pick up on and if you trust me there's
people in bad situations for going to
their pastors asking them what this
dream mentor asking them what is this
voice or what is this being that showed
up in my room through or I was praying
and this angel approached me oh there's
no such thing as angels they they're in
heaven you know you're getting all this
weird information from people
who have no idea what it's what the
spirit realm is you know what I'm saying
so the spirit of the prophet prophet is
subject unto the Prophet and the church
has really you know kind of dropped the
ball in that area so they've run ran to
the New Age they've got the answers hey
you want to know what that is we'll tell
you oh that we got the answers and so we
have to as as as believers as the body
of Christ start asking the hard
questions and answering the hard
questions and guess what it's not all
demonic just because you don't
understand it just because you've never
heard of it just because you was told it
was evil it's in demand it doesn't mean
that it is and we're finding that out
man and it's beautiful so how do you
fight off I would imagine with the work
that you're doing that you fight off a
lot of you get a lot of spiritual
attacks yeah how do you protect yours
it's through release you know you try to
just like daily walk in the spirit you
know if you walk in the spirit you won't
fulfill the lust of the flesh and do the
deeds of the flesh and the things that
kind of bring you down and in and open
you up to those attacks and so if you're
walking at a high level of you know
vibration if we want to call it the
lower level entities really don't deal
with you like that anymore when you
start out they do like when I was in the
woods craft and I had demons trying to
pull me out my body and ugly demonic
stuff and that was early on I've dealt
with that most of my experiences in the
spirit realm and meditation I haven't
been demons haven't approached me in my
sleep and all that kind of stuff it's
all been beautiful and whatever level
that you're vibrating on when you go
into the astral realms when you meditate
when you go to sleep at night when you
dream when you get alone in your in your
mind in your imagination that's what
your going to be entertaining those type
of beings that you've been dealing with
during the day so that's like 101 and I
kind of um I kind of coined this thing
man because when I was coming out of
witchcraft like really dark demonic
witchcraft
I called TBN I needed prayer right
Absalon this on the prayer lines back in
98 and they gave me the scripture
James 4:7 and so I do music and stuff
and I sign all my CDs all my posters on
my autographs I sign it with this
scripture James 4:7 submit yourselves to
God resist the devil and he will flee
and that helped me man that was my go to
scripture I'm coming out of Satanism and
witchcraft and demons and all this kind
of stuff so I that was my Scripture so
I've kind of adopted it as a formula for
spiritual warfare because everything is
God man all is God Lord is one
everything everyone is in God we're an
expression of God we're in the body of
Christ were connected everything every
single thing nothing is separate from
God man submit yourself to God if you
submit it in every single area of your
life check yourself you know yourself if
you got hidden sin if you got things
that you haven't been confessing
whatever you got to confess it get it
out there to the light don't do anything
in secret right submit yourself to God
resist the devil if there's some
temptation if there's things going on
that you need to resist show a little
bit of resistance so some type of
resistance submit yourselves to God
resist the devil and he will flee and I
try I mean that's that's my motto and
it's it's work and I help people it's
practical you know what I'm saying and
as deep as deep as you want to make it
but I really believe man and I mean and
I do believe that you know some of those
dark times in our lives were sent by God
I think everything is God I thank God at
this point that I went through that
stuff that I had to fight those demons
that I came through the other side and I
got a story to tell and I got a passion
in me about this stuff and I wouldn't
have it like the light is just as
important as the darkness everybody
wants to be in the light as he is in the
light but until we are in in those times
of darkness until we're in in those cait
have those cave moments we'll run we're
running from the enemies we don't have a
contrast of how beautiful and how
marvelous that light is man so thank God
for that contrast man I really do I love
I love that because I'm able to look at
all the dark extremely dark times in my
life and I look at that now I was like
that allows me to go to places that
other people
Ok Go yeah because I've been through it
I survived it I'd been going through a
well I kind of broken 3 free from them
but about three weeks ago and previously
before that I went through about two and
a half weeks of just brutal spiritual
attacks that were crippling you know my
sleep date like day mirrors nightmares
night terrors
anytime that it the it's like the enemy
had a chance to get at me he was coming
at me and it was tough it was tough for
the people around me it was tough for me
it sucked but I had a really good friend
and mentor Lauren Harris reach out to me
and he he's like that maybe the more the
biggest blessings of your life that you
went through that and in the first time
that you went through it and I'm like
now looking at him like yeah yeah it is
because I was able to see some things
that I hadn't seen before and it gives
me an ability to understand what suicide
is like for people because I was like
living it in my head and I was skiing in
my and I've noticed that like I'm battle
like my visions for other people are
more accurate than my visions for myself
mmm all right I I really I've really
tried to grow spiritually and over the
last four months five months it's
started with removing sex
it started with removing alcohol than
removing cannabis and then it's been the
series of stuff and there's spending
more and more time with God to try to
understand what is available because the
more time I spend with God the more I
notice how powerful these spiritual
gifts that were all given are yeah so I
really relating to what you've done what
you've been through and it's not they
don't necessarily parallel each other
some of the same experiences but they're
close enough that like I feel you and I
love what you're doing I love what
you're up to I would like to ask you to
man like what is your like this is kind
of a broad question and it's open-ended
you can answer it however you want but
what is your take on the I am but
what do you think I am really me
everything everything I am everything
and you could break it down as intricate
and and I had a buddy of mine he just
sent me uh he sent me a banner I don't
know where my wife put it away I need
it's over there I'm not gonna get it
anyway sent me a banner with all of the
names of God what was seven of them
seven of the names of God and uh and you
have Jim saying jehova sholom jehova
nissi Jehovah Rapha Joe hope it's it can
do all of these Hebrew names and they
mean different things or different
aspects of the one God and even that
word man I am okay we've heard it so
much you know we sang about it in church
you know he is the great I am but that
word the Hebrew Oh hiya by Hashem you
hire Baha Simha hiya I am that I am and
it means I am that I am but it also
means I will be whatsoever I will be so
breaking down those names for me it's
like for me I didn't have a father in my
life well guess what I know God as my
father do you need me to be your strong
tower I'll be your strong tower do you
mean need me to be your defense do you
need me to be your lover do you need me
to be whatever this this is man whatever
you need I got you I am that to you you
didn't have it you need it I'm there for
you whatsoever those are just some but
it gets broader you know the name of God
or maybe even gets into me some of these
other people experiencing God through
other ways through other avenues because
he is in there he's he finds a way to
meet us there
no matter what we're in man and in our
darkness or whatever um the great Billy
Graham man before he died he did a video
some years ago you might have seen it
but it was I think it was Robert
Schuller he was doing an interview on at
his church and he was talking about you
know in the end times I don't think
we're gonna see this big great revival
of all the harvesters coming into the
church I don't think we're gonna see
that he says but I do believe that God
has a people for his namesake
he said they may be in other religions
they may not
even know Jesus they may have not even
heard the name of Jesus but they're his
children and they're called according to
his purpose they may have not even heard
that name this is the greatest
evangelist of our day at the end of his
ministry he's run his races did his
thing and at the end he's like you know
what God has people set up in all these
places that you don't even know and it's
kind of weird I'm just kind of kind of
going back to that scripture where you
know the prophets were we're kind of
getting weary they're like man were the
only ones living righteous man it's just
us ain't nobody else doing this he's I
hold on and I got was at seven hundred
seven thousand prophets who have not
bowed their knee to bail and they're
standing strong and you're like the only
one no no no no I have way more people
out there who were standing righteous
and living boldly out there so it's
beautiful just to know that God is open
and there's so many more scriptures that
God reveals himself through nature and
through the sunrise and he writes his
laws upon our hearts and it's up to that
consciousness and that conscious
decision and you know saying that we
make and we know when we're doing right
or we know when we're doing wrong
because the Holy Spirit's dealing with
this that's not just for Christians like
that's for everybody man everybody knows
if you go into that store and you steal
that piece of candy or whatever that kid
you know you're doing wrong man that's
the law of God written on your heart and
we all have to deal with that law
nobody's exempt from that
now there's drugs and there's different
things and ideologies and stuff or you
can kind of change that and try to
silence that voice but it's there
that still that still small voice is
there written on the heart of every
individual man so it opens things up man
I you know it's funny you say that I
don't know why this triggered this
memory but I remember when I was trying
to stop using cocaine and I was not a I
mean I've been to church and I tried to
like connect to God and the Holy Spirit
but I remember when I was battling
cocaine addiction and I I remember this
feeling this sick just awful feeling
when I was fighting it like I wanted it
and it was it was like my body was
saying no no no no and I was ignoring it
I was like pushing through this
and now would I recognize that feeling
to be is that's God telling me no mm-hmm
and I ignored it for years and now that
it's like been the ultimate guide and
I'm so thankful to recognize how God or
the Holy Spirit communicates with me
to tell me this doesn't feel right this
is it right by me this is not going to
honor me this is not going to get you
where you want to be I called you to do
something specific do it and that
doesn't matter if it's a business deal
if it has to do with sex it has to do
with the relationship like if it doesn't
feel right I recognize that feeling so
much now that I don't even screw with it
like I just go okay you want that
doughnut but okay and I don't able to
loose analogy by now yeah yeah like yeah
that I only know and that was even
before I was a believer but now that I
walk daily and see Christ daily it's a
whole other experience for me it'll take
you to some really cool places man
you're talking about Halloween your
destiny and the plans that God has for
you that still that's the Holy Spirit
that still small voice that leads you
and guide you learn that voice learn you
know when it says do this don't do that
and just try it try it and you start
seeing things happen everything
everything is connected and God's got
you is like why you doubted me do this
go here listen that's where the piece is
man do that and everything everything
falls into place that really does I love
it let me ask you something what did you
want to be when you were a kid probably
a rapper you know rock and roll star
yeah yeah well I want to do music I'll
just so connected to music yeah how do
you stay inspired now man because you
kind of like I get the impression I mean
we just the first time we've ever talked
but just I've been kind of creeping
around a little bit on you I love what
you're up to like how do you stay
inspired what is it for you man it's
just the whole song and dance for me to
keep me inspired and then to create
encounter for people
in the ways that I've encountered God
all of them not some of them I'm open
about it on the podcast and it just
creates dialogue and things like that
but I love to see people come into
relationship with God and have their
minds blown and be embraced by the Holy
Spirit for the first time or the first
time in a long time or if you do it
every day like come in encounter with
God and man that that changed my life
and I like to extend that out to people
and it that never gets old I feel like
there's the eternal reward I get you
don't see a monetary reward from my
music and stuff but there's something
deeper in it you know I'm saying there's
something of eternal value that I know
I'm storing up treasures in heaven when
I do and in it's fun man I enjoy it it's
hard it's not always you know easy stuff
man this is we're living real life with
people and that's what it's about man
just the whole mystery and song and
dance with God is just so beautiful you
never know where he's gonna take you
it's never over it's never too late and
it's beyond our wildest dreams and for
us to be able to kind of colabor with
God and creating that and working with
them instead of working against them
like many of us have done for too long
we're working with God now okay God what
do we do what do we say what do we
create you won't do this okay let's do
it working with the king of the universe
that created everything like how does
that get boring so you know I'm saying
there's different ways to start your
stuff up we get stagnant from time to
time man we have we do things if we
don't follow that voice when we go
against it sometimes we got to pay for
it you know four weeks of the dry season
or mutton set times you know what I'm
saying I hate that but we have to learn
to kind of keep that fire lit man and
keep kindling it and blowing on it and
actually Fanning the flame like the
Bible says the flame that's within you I
love I I'm so grateful that you came on
today man and uh tell everybody how they
can find you
totally man if you just go to google and
type in truth seeker truth SEK aah
whatever platform you're in to Facebook
YouTube Spotify like music podcasts it's
everything's out there I create content
man I try to be open and honest about I
love talking about this stuff man and
you know so I'm on I'm on everything
check out my podcast check out
music and that's those two right there
so oh man listen I am so grateful that
you came on and uh yeah I'll definitely
keep watching your stuff I'm a fan i
pokin around and I've just loved what
I'm listening to and I love I love your
spirit and what you're up to man so
thank you so much anything yeah thank
you for having me brother I enjoyed this
conversation and like I said I enjoy
talking about this stuff and you are you
being open to man sharing some of the
weaknesses and stuff and like you can't
like we've been told in the churches for
so long that you can't show them that
side hey you just he just mentioned he
had a coke addiction you know that he
mentioned that he struggles with that
man you being open and honest about that
stuff it's it sets people free they're
like well he can do it he he did it I
can do it and it lets them know that's
what testimonies about man sharing that
testimony telling as many people as you
can look this works hey that stuff it
didn't work
don't do it I want to do it anyway look
look don't do it it don't work okay
whatever but I'm letting you know don't
do it testimonies man they encourage
people to what God did for you he can
also do for them yeah it's so true and
that's why I do what I do and I do it on
a Palo Jetta CLE I mean I talk a lot
about much more stuff than a coke
addiction but uh it's not to glamorize
it like don't have like some fun times
but you know what it always led to
destruction and a piece of my soul and
and it took a lot of work I've been
digging out of a giant casket frickin
grave for a long time and even though I
was set free the consequences of my pass
and of ignoring my calling have been
tough and but guess what I get to live
in joy everyday because of what I've
been set free from and that's the point
of what this show is all about this is
why I love having people like you on
because you you went there and and I'm
grateful that you did and definitely a
fan of yours and you guys check out
truth seeker aka Derek Cross Kurth gross
card sorry and you're a blessing brother
all I'll see I'll be in touch hey man
thank you so much god bless you man so
long thank you Trucy to everybody that
dude rules you guys have to check out
like his YouTube
his podcast he's doing it he does
amazing work and you know we have to
regardless of what your belief systems
are you've got a challenge of beliefs
because if you don't challenge your grit
believes you can't stretch your faith
and if you can't stretch your faith you
can't grow and sometimes we have to we
get to take risk sometimes we we can
take on challenges sometimes we can
fight for you know that we can fight
against God we can challenge God and I
think that's okay I don't think we have
to be you know I don't think we just
have to accept everything that's
presented to us you know like I mean I
have my freaking my freaking beliefs
challenged everyday it seems I mean it
every day my faith is just getting
twisted or it's spun on its head and
it's not always easy but we get to you
know ask questions and have our
sensibilities challenged and I think one
of the best things for me in my beliefs
in my my belief that the Holy Spirit is
in me is that if something's not right
for me then I know it I don't need some
preacher to tell me that something's
right or wrong I can feel it in my
spirit I know so it's okay for you to
challenge your beliefs it's okay for you
to question God or for you to say this
preacher is telling me this or this
teacher is telling me this
this mentor is telling me this but how
does this feel to me how is this right
for me God is this the right thing for
me is this the right decision I think
God answers those questions faster than
he does your requests for a million
dollars I just do and this is why I
wanted him on because he had a very
powerful video I brought up Christ
consciousness the other day and and and
a lot of people freaked out like oh my
god this guy's the dead like it's the
devil well it depends on which
interpretation that you're reading and
and it's interesting to have that belief
but I'm thankful
to have that relationship with Christ
that I have because I get to ask these
questions and not feel guilty about it I
get my faith strength strengthened from
it and and I get to to do - to walk in
peace because when something's right in
my spirit I have peace about it that's
kind of Awesome that's the whole point
of having a relationship with Christ I
believe and that's it you know and none
of us are gonna be perfect none of us
are none of us are gonna make the right
decision sometimes that we we think
something's of God and then we get
quickly corrected it like no dummy that
wasn't me
it happens and you know but I'm all for
challenging my faith I'm all for
challenging normal sensibilities I'm all
for challenging everything because I
know that right or wrong we're
consequence or not I'm gonna learn and
I'm gonna grow and because of that it's
going to make my faith stronger because
the one thing that's undeniable is my my
faith in that Jesus saved me from a life
of misery and sin and brokenness and
hurt and and and misery and doubt and
and self-hate and self-harm and harming
others in and so on but I'm also still
going to question everything and along
the way I noticed that God loves to
answer me in his own little unique ways
and I think that's pretty special
and I think that it's pretty special
because it's available to everyone it's
available to everyone so I'm really
thankful that truth-seeker came on you
guys should definitely check him out I
appreciate everyone watching the show is
we're gonna start adding more guests can
we be doing more interviews mourning
gratitude is back and it's going to be
on a regular basis mourning gratitude is
going to be an extension of my quiet
time and as if you've if you
me on any gratitude unfiltered or
morning gratitude over the last year and
several months you'll notice that the
show goes how my mood goes but I'm
always gonna be authentic and real and
vulnerable and I'm gonna express myself
how I see fit
and how I feel led to because I pray the
same prayer before I walk onstage and
pray the same prayer before I'm what
guest on someone show I was on a radio
show today and that was a lot of fun I
don't prepare I asked the Holy Spirit to
speak through me so whatever comes out
of my mouth comes out of my mouth and
sometimes it's gonna offend some people
and and that's okay I'm gonna but I'm
always gonna speak my truth and and and
and it's not always gonna be comfortable
and it's not always gonna make people
happy and it's not always gonna win over
people but I'm not trying to live for
anybody else I did that for 30 on 39
even after I gave my life to Christ I
don't think I had it figured out I was
still trying to please people I'm trying
to make people happy and trying to fit
in but I don't care like I don't care I
I care what Christ says about me I care
what God says about me I care about what
I'm called to do way more than I care
about pleasing any man because I can't
do it I'm tired of trying and then you
know the calling on my life and I don't
know I'm gonna just talk off the top of
my head here for a second but I you know
I don't know if before we're born we
choose what happens to us I don't know
that like there's a belief system out
there that believes that we choose our
trauma before we even born and I'm
thinking why the hell would I choose
what I that why would I choose yet at
the same time thinking about every one
of those things it's also the very thing
that brings me the most joy
but why would I choose that I don't know
that's an interesting belief system but
I'm gonna convince myself that speaking
about the things that I talk about the
way that I talk about them is is is it's
not meant for everyone it's not gonna
end up on ABC Family Channel it's not
gonna end up on 92.3 fm it's not gonna
end up on any of that stuff my content
is not gonna be for everybody but but
there's a population out there that it's
for and there's people out there they're
struggling really really bad and they're
in their living secrets and you know I
don't know what's more dangerous you
know you know physically trying to hurt
yourself
or keeping secrets in living in shadows
I was playing tool 46 and to and you
know it talks about my shadow my shadow
you know my shadow has a name then
trying to kill that freakin shadow for a
long time and he wants to stick around
and sometimes it's like other people
bring my shadow to me but this is why I
put the light on it you know when I
relapse several months ago and went off
the deep end I promised I made a
declaration I swore I swore on my faith
I swore that I from now on I'm going to
put a spotlight on my shadow I'm gonna
chase that stupid shadow around with a
spotlight and I'm going to expose
everything that goes on because I know
if I go back to my shadow Undead
I'm not saying that to make you warm and
fuzzy I'm saying that because it's true
it's uneasy being in my life it's not
easy being associated with me it's not
easy to associate your name with me and
what I do and what I talk about the
people that choose to be in my life god
bless him but this is who I am
this is what I'm gonna do I'm not gonna
apologize for it because I am I know the
assignment on my life doesn't mean that
I'm that I'm not better than anybody
else it just means that I've accepted my
role in this world I've accepted what
Christ has called me to do and I'm gonna
do it on apologetically part of the only
way to keep me safe the only way to keep
people close to me safe
like people worry about people safety
that's around me I'm freakin harmless
I'm harmless
as long as I'm putting a light on my
shadow I'm harmless it's when I let my
shadow eat me
I go hide in my little shadow it's when
that happens that you do need to be
worried I'm not going to hide in my
shadow anymore I made that promise
months ago after a relapse that almost
took my life again I don't think people
really understand what it's like to
almost die multiple times or to go into
something with the intention of not
waking up that's scary that's horrific
that's not fun that's not light that's
not purposeful that's letting the devil
win I'm not letting the devil win so
that's why that's why I talk about these
things it's not the freaking scare
anybody
because it's real life and I know I'm
not the only one it doesn't matter if
you're a gang member
it doesn't matter if you're a drug
dealer it doesn't matter if you're a
murderer it doesn't matter if you're a
CEO it doesn't matter
you're a postal worker you know what the
demons are real and in in people and the
shadows are real and in some people to
live those double lives triple lives
there's people out there right now that
are watching the show hi Nicole and
April by the way I'm good to see you
guys there's people out here right now
Aaron amber thank you the there are
people out here right now that's
watching that were molested as a little
boy or little girl by somebody of the
same sex or somebody of the opposite
sense and it warped it warped their
Sensibility it warped their ability to
understand what a healthy relationship
is it run their ability to know what
healthy sex is it run their ability a
run their maybe even run their identity
of knowing if they were gay or straight
or bisexual or what there's people out
there right now that is living a double
life there's people out there right now
that are going on apps looking for sex
outside of their marriage or outside of
their relationships they're doing that
right now because it's feeding something
inside them that is hurting but it's
like scratching that itch going down
that path going into that darkness and
that shadows it's like it's the only
thing that's making that person feel
safe because that's how the enemy lies
to you I know this because I did it for
most of my life and I would use drugs
that would you I would find comfort and
safety in cocaine and methane and feta
means and whatever a ketamine and like
whatever else I could get my hands on to
dull the the noise in my head the
monsters that were there there's people
that are doing that and they're hurting
themselves that they're hurting the
people that are close to them the most
because they don't feel safe to put a
light on their shadow and if I don't do
this the way that I do it when no one
else is willing to do it
that means there's people out there
right now that are hurting
you're someone that's listening to this
podcast or someone that's watching right
now there's somebody watching on YouTube
there's somebody listening on I Heart
Radio or Spotify or stitcher or tune in
or freaking Facebook right now there is
someone right now thank you for sharing
there's someone right now that's
watching this that is being hurt by
someone in their life that's living a
double life there's someone out there
that's covering up for somebody that in
their life because they think that they
have to protect them and by protecting
that person they're hurting themselves
and then it's affecting how they're
showing up for their children I know
this because I was that person years ago
is that person I just have the balls to
talk about it now there's someone out
there right now that is seeking ways to
escape and they're doing it through some
horrific ways and in it and it's it's a
very dangerous path to walk on and it
only causes harm and heartbreak and it's
really really sad and the problem is
that if someone doesn't talk about it
then it's gonna remain a secret and more
and more people are gonna get hurt
so why the calling on my life is to
wreck any chance I have of ever getting
a normal job or having a normal life
where the person in my life that chooses
to be in my life is comfortable with you
know accepting me for what I feel called
to do like I don't know I didn't want to
do any of this stuff but I also didn't
expect God to spare my life and he did
so this is the calling on my life and it
makes people uncomfortable especially
you know and get married and and and and
there's a good portion of the people in
her life that think I'm crazy maybe it's
crazy to talk about these things but you
know what crazy is what changes them
crazy is what sets people free crazy is
what changes the world following the
herd and doing what everyone else says
doesn't change sorry doesn't I'm
here to shake things up a little bit I'm
here to talk about things that other
people won't talk about because I know
someone's hurting and I know what it's
like to really hurt really hurt and then
what's up to really hurt people that
don't deserve to be hurt because I was
hurt that bad I don't want any more
people to be hurt so if I talk about it
maybe somebody else would get the
courage to talk about it and then
they'll inspire someone else to talk
about it because they deliver the
message a little bit softer than I do
like I haven't perfected the way to talk
about these things I haven't mastered it
okay like I think I'm scratching the new
surface here forgive me for not being
the perfect speaker about these things
but I'm just talking as authentically
and real as possible because without
doing it like I want to give someone
else the courage to talk about it
because if I give the courage someone
else to talk about it then they're gonna
understand maybe I can say it this way
and this is my truth and then then that
other person hears it in such a way that
it inspires them to talk about it and
then it starts this ripple effect of
setting people free to me that sounds
like a better life than anything else I
could do so even if I lose everybody
close to me in my life and doing so so
be it
this is what I feel peace about doing
this is what makes me this is what makes
me feel joy and this is what gives
purpose to them otherwise a life that
would make me want to put a bullet in my
head this is what keeps me sane this is
what gives me purpose even if it
isolates me from the rest of the world
have a good night