Healing From Sexual Abuse And Childhood Trauma | Chris Duthridge

Healing From Sexual Abuse And Childhood Trauma  Chris Duthridge
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1oYUJoWR2Y
Transcript source: YouTube captions

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won't you
spiritual ladies and gentlemen I'm your
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tonight show we touch on all kind of
topics on here man we just like to cover
truth I don't like to deal with
conspiracy theories too much anymore I
mean that kind of was one of the things
that kind of woke me up to start digging
about the government and start digging
about different topics at hand that were
being lied to about by different sources
religious systems and the government and
all these people teachers and stuff and
I don't really get into theories anymore
so I get messages from people who want
to come on and talk about the Las Vegas
shooter and I'll do all of this kind of
stuff that we can't really prove you
know I'm saying it's not gonna help us
and no matter what kind of theories or
whatever is going on with that kind of
stuff I don't think it's gonna help us
out in our life and I like to deal with
the stuff that's tangible stuff that's
applicable to our lives that's gonna
help us be the better people better
fathers better friends better husbands
but better coworkers all that kind of
stuff so spirituality and things that
you can apply to your everyday life and
so that's what we try to cover here and
in and out of that is so much stuff so
many different topics that I believe fit
in with the agenda that I push which is
love peace joy and understanding and
what can make your ride just a little
bit easier a little bit more comfortable
help you enjoy life and and even
overcome obstacles and I think tonight
that's what we're going to be talking
about overcoming obstacles tragedy
triumph hope victory peace joy a lot of
people go through life man and they hit
rock bottom and I've been at my rock
bottom once or twice and the thing that
kind of blows my mind is when people hit
rock bottom just pain and heartache and
things like that and drug addiction and
stuff and they stay there like I don't
see how people do it man they they're
able to stay at rock bottom but tonight
we're gonna talk to somebody who was at
that place and who got up off the floor
with help from above so without further
ado I'm gonna welcome our guest tonight
which is chris dodd's what's up my
brother welcome to the show hey what's
going on man yeah before we started off
man can we can we get a little bit of a
prayer
yeah totally dear Heavenly Father we
just come to you right now our Father we
we're just seeking your God his father
ask that you open up these airways
father that you open up the hearts
father for anybody that might be
struggling in these areas father I asked
father that she just began to break the
bondage often then father father we know
that Satan is a liar we know that he is
only here to kill steal and destroy
father tonight I just ask that you speak
jewelry for the father and then I I just
asked father that that my words be of
you and not of myself father father that
you just allow me the the platform to to
reach the ears that that need to hear
and open the eyes that need to be open
father uh we sell a stage in Jesus name
Amen amen
there's nothing more powerful than that
man the prayer and the spoken word
coming from a place of humility and
honesty nothing to prove no agenda but
just coming from just this place of
brokenness and place of wanting to see
people healed and want to see people
transform there's nothing more powerful
than that
what's the scripture say the prayers of
the righteous are powerful and effective
like that's a fact man that the prayers
of the righteous are powerful and
effective isn't that something that when
we pray that we can believe that that
we're not just begging God or
petitioning God but that we know that he
hears us when we pray when we pray and
if we pray according to his will his
promises are yes and amen
they're already done and so we just go
forth and establish that man so dude
thanks so much for opening up with
prayer everybody knows that the phone
lines are open if anybody needs prayer
we'll be opening up the phone lines at
the end man if anybody needs a word of
encouragement definitely call in and we
will do that man we love each and every
one of you guys and we believe in you so
tonight we're gonna get kind of deep
we're gonna we're going to touch on some
things that you know people talk about
them but they're kind of afraid to us
there's so many people who have
struggled and have Dell
with sexual abuse molestation and things
like that and most people hold it in and
and strongholds start to form in their
mind and their thought patterns even as
a young age you know a question and
whether if they're you know their
sexuality their sexual preference you
know they were touched at a young age
when their mind was forming by an uncle
or a family member or a neighbor and it
messes it messes with you man so we want
to go into your story man cuz I know
that's a big part but i'ma let you go
ahead and and start wherever you want
just to kind of tell the people who you
are man why are you here alright oh my
name is uh well obviously you guys know
my name is Christopher death Ridge you
know I just like to start off by saying
that uh you know this subject goes
deeper then then the the action of the
the perpetrator or anybody who had might
have harmed you in any sexual way uh
being younger or older this goes back to
you know Ephesians I think it starts at
Ephesians 6:12 says uh we do not wrestle
against flesh and blood but against
demonic forces in high places heavenly
hosts so I mean I just want you know
what when one touch on tonight is it's
pretty deep man um you know I was four
years old when I started being severely
sexually abused and not only was that
but you know my mother she she when I
would really would tell her what was
going on she would call us a liar so the
one person that that I needed to look to
for help
you know denied me you know and not
knowing even knowing who God was at that
time and I was still calling out for
someone to help you know you know it's
it's pretty sad you know the the devil
use and my mom would go to church
and this guy would he would do it to
smile my stepfather ever do it to this
twice a week you know only while she was
at church so early on you know Satan
starts attacking us from the from the
beginning you know he he wants to I
remember my mom coming to me around that
time almost about when I was over and
she woke up out of my sleep and told me
that a demon had came to her and I told
her that he was going to to try and kill
us that he was going to split up our
family that we would just be lost that
he was just going to destroy everything
and every every bit of that happened but
you know I think that because of it
going on for so long it went on for
three years you know this was something
very violent something very demonic this
guy I mean I'm talking you know am i
okay to the be blunt is all right yeah
well I mean I mean because I think it's
important that you know I don't you know
I was pretty graphic so you know forgive
me if I offend anybody but uh you know
being four years old and getting my my
manhood to to the point to where my
mother would uh you know she'd come in
she'd ask me to sit down and I and I
couldn't you know because I hurt so so
bad back there this guy was making me
give him you know oral sex there was
penetration so I mean this was some
pretty some pretty evil stuff you know I
know that and his family spend I'm
talking about this was something that
happened and went on for Jared
you know generations you know I think
the bible does talk about generational
curses but i mean you know not only that
but you know he used manipulation
tactics on us to keep us where he wanted
us you know he would he would tell us if
anybody said anything you know that he
was going to kill our mother you know he
would go as far as to use a love you
know but you know one thing I want to
stress you know I talked about this you
know and I talked about the Eagle behind
it but I want to stress the importance
of forgiveness in this matter it's very
important the only way that I'm actually
able to be able to come out and talk
about this is by having found a
forgiving heart to go in and forgive
this man you know he'll face his
Judgment Day when he sees the Lord you
know I mean I can't I can't expect to be
forgiven over the things that I've done
in my life
unless I'm ready to forgive him as well
you know my mom this guy when I was
saying here's all this went on for three
years
well seven years old my mother I'm sorry
not my mother but my brother decided to
tell the school and you know I think God
for that everyday because if it wouldn't
have been for his courage I probably
wouldn't have had that had had the
courage I remember sitting in school on
that very day and sitting there just
broken inside man very scared didn't
want to go back home and right before
they called me to the office I remember
thinking you know when is this going to
end
you know how long is this is is this
going to go on before you know something
stops it so I ready you even in that for
it going on three years my questioning
God began there you know the devil
wanted the lie wanted to come and say
you know if there's a God you know how
can he allow us to happen which which is
you know that's a lot of people's
questions these days you know they they
they want to know you know if there's a
God why why is there so much chaos in
the world why are all these things
happening when really you know
you know after Adam and Eve
we were all born into sin you know we
were all given free will so it wasn't it
wasn't that God didn't allow this it was
the fact that this man had God nowhere
in him or around him you know so I mean
I mean it goes very deep so at seven my
brother I'm sorry if I'm bouncing around
a little bit but my brother told the
school I finally got some closure on
that they wouldn't arrested the man and
there started another journey in itself
you know because we started going to
court
this guy was bold enough to take it to
trial instead of just accept me instead
of just accepting the fact that he did
this and took his punishment you know so
I not only did I have to go through that
but I was made to relive the whole thing
all over again
I still sitting on the stand and
pointing this man out I mean look him in
the face and totally go over everything
that happened during that three years
you know you know I have I have a
brother who who was totally lost man
right now he he was one of the ones that
it happened to matter of fact whenever
my stepfather was done with me he would
make me go outside and call my brother
inside and me knowing you know walking
out there and having this you know can't
even sit down and play because I was
hurting back there so bad have to tell
my brother you know that is his turn to
go in you know and that has deeply
affected me throughout my whole life you
know Satan has in it and this all the
way through a row because you know from
their front from having my mother not
believe me to building up all this hate
and resentment that I had towards him
telling him but the government for how
they handle things which I'll get into a
little late
but you know I was sitting there I was
sitting there at the trial and it was so
hard man it was so hard to have to to
tell this to my mother who was sitting
there as well who who still was who
still had this this guy is back on this
like she she didn't leave her she stayed
with him
matter of fact my mother is still with
this man today you know she she stayed
with this man while he went to prison he
only got two and a half years got
convicted for both me and my brother you
only got two and a half years on that
when he got out I was a I was almost ten
I think and my mother she she asked me
or I came her and I asked her if I could
lead because she had told me that he was
going to or she was going to let him
back into the house that she wanted him
to come home you know and that right
there I I don't know how you know it's
it's a sad thing because well first of
all I had asked her if I believed she
looked at me and she said well you can
probably take care of your yourself
better than I can right now anyways so I
left
how old was your 12 was your 12 it no is
that 10 years old when you got out so I
left man I left and I found a home in
the streets you know I found a false
family out there
which you know they ain't and and that
again
I felt I I got into taking and did a lot
of a lot of crazy stuff and that that I
can't take back now but it pushed me
towards a false family
you know I mean instead of the only and
if I'm wondering well where with social
services and and everybody in this you
know like how does a ten-year-old go
live on the streets well it happened you
know what I mean
people slip through the cracks once he
he got out of prison and parole started
checking on him CPS went away CPS is
Child Protective Services those who
don't know here in California but uh you
know so so right there even that with my
mom with my mom telling me it's okay to
leave and really choosing him over her
children devastated me you know I was
really mad at God
you know I began they're creating this
false identity for myself not
understanding you know what Jesus did on
the cross for me you know not
understanding the the the cup he drank
man to to to make you free from all this
you know I mean had I had a little bit
had had a little better direction who
knows you know he needs to go you know I
was tan I lived on the streets for years
before a family took me in a lady named
Sandy
rest in peace she's dead now you know
with her I she really showed me what a
mom is supposed to be like and I and
there I found a little bit of confident
in having a little bit of family and I I
stayed with her with her family until I
was about eighteen eighteen years old
when I when I got convicted on my first
felony but for Mary like I was saying
you know I started creating this uh this
tough-guy image you know it was me I
guess you know like pastas me against
the world I didn't want to I didn't I
didn't like the you know I didn't like
cops or anything because I felt like
they
do enough to prevent him from even going
back into the home man I mean how does
that happen
yeah you know my poor brothers and
sister my sister you know they had to
live with that I was strong enough you
know or God seen fit to set me apart
from that so I didn't have to continue
and living in that but I think about it
every day you know my sister now she
she's barely coming around and talking
to me about her abuse whenever I'd had
no idea that she was being abused either
you know and um you know until later
that she came out with this you know you
know my sister is my is my best friend
right now she you know she's my rock I
love her to death but it's sad man like
I really don't have any contact my
brother's my brother so far out there
right now that it's going to take us
hands to bring him back you know he has
a problem to where he he takes all of
his doors off in the house I take it
because he's afraid to be behind closed
doors you know but I mean you know I
have to ask God to intercede and and do
something in there because I mean I know
that he's broken and I know where it's
coming from but yeah man III from there
I caught my first felony I started
selling drugs pretty heavy man my time I
was 18 I don't want to you know put any
any names out there but I work for you
know a couple of large organizations to
where I would I wouldn't heal drugs back
you know back into the states and things
like that you know so and then I think
19 III did my first prison term I did
two of them and there would be the only
place that I would really have a chance
to
sit back and have a chance to to get
with God and you know like the I forget
what's what's burst it is but uh you
know if the Seas not planning on on
solid ground you know it to see falls to
a rocky ground the the devil comes in
still see so I was never able every
people to really fully accept Christ
into to my life to where I had to the
repentance of it in my heart to to go
ahead and turn around and do it 360 on
it it seemed like I could only get
halfway and then the devil would come
and Rob me from that you know excuse me
and the subjects a little tough you know
but you know I I think that God really
really just working with me he's trying
to be trying to get it out to where that
men you know I see one upon the sea men
have a really hard time talking about
this you know and women too but I'm
trying to focus mainly on the men
because I am a man you know I know I'm a
man you know just because that that
happened to me at that age doesn't make
me any less of a minute you know I'm a
child of God and I truly believe that he
hasn't work for me but it's so hard for
for men to come out on this issue and go
ahead and talk about it not realizing
that without talking about it without
without it you know asking Jesus to come
in and to to help them in their lives
you know we we we hold on to it it loses
its power when we talk about it this
issue is so important because I know
this
so many people out there who are hurting
and don't know how to come out and talk
about this whoo-hoo just hold it inside
not realizing that that's a bondage that
Satan has on their lives like you know
all this stuff it took me you know
started something something more than me
can I go back just a little bit at the
age of 10 I started selling I started
selling drugs I started selling I
started pushing for guys in the
neighborhood that that was seeing out in
the streets and then you know I don't
know how to this is but they would try
to help me out I guess hey that's what
you want to call it you know what I mean
but I would make a little bit of money
from doing a little route real quick or
whatever and I did that to survive as
well as a GTA's car theft robbery
whatever I had to do you know and I let
that I let those things become Who I am
I let these tattoos become Who I am to
try to try to put up this facade of me
being somebody who I really wasn't man
because I was really broken inside and I
was scared and I've always been I'll say
then like a scared little boy inside
just trying to just trying to trying to
make it look like I was tough on the
outside so nobody could see the journey
inside yeah I think there's a lot of
people doing that and I've heard a few
people talk about that with the
weightlifting community as well like
trying to build up this big hard tough
shell that you can't get through because
you know on the inside they're these
frail little little boys essentially and
I talk about like that when that trauma
happens to you at that early age that
mentally we're kind of stuck there like
we never get to get past it and we're
always living from that point of pain
and they even talk about like like a lot
of people who like you we talked about
before the show people who are in in car
serrated you know who have had a lot of
this stuff has happened to them and they
haven't been able to talk about it or
fin and it shows that they're weak it
shows that they're vulnerable
oh you let somebody do that to you
really you let somebody do that and it
gets into this this weird stuff him and
men build up build up this wall where
they don't want nobody to see them as
weak or as vulnerable honestly man I had
some stuff happen to me when I was a kid
as well and we just buried the person
last week I think it was or the week
before I went to a funeral not not
because of him but because I had family
members who were saying mourning the
loss of their father and I went not to
support him or to rejoice but it's just
it was just a weird a weird feeling to
be there and that that chapter had been
over and I had to get healing as well
and my story's very similar to yours
with dealing with childhood wounds
childhood trauma and we talked about the
mom issue like there was a lot of stuff
that I had to deal with when I when I
came to Christ dealer was deliverance
and dealing with I I just try to quickly
set up this little story man like I had
a lot of stuff going on with my mom my
mom told me I was stupid over her to say
I was an accident she didn't mean to
have me and I'll just look little stuff
like that and it it does something to
you man as a kid to hear this stuff and
then your mom picking the boyfriends
over you and just little stuff it builds
up and there was a guy who was uh he was
abusing us and my mom physically and
mentally not not sexually though but um
my mom would take his side he would he
would get so peeled up and drunk and
just say weird stuff to us and to my
sister and say he's gonna kill us and my
mom would laugh and like take his side
and it was like it was demonic how like
I would look over my mom and my mom was
smirking while this guy was jumping our
but you know in some weird drunken
stupor you know and it it did something
to me that's a kid I'm looking what the
heck is once my mom doing that and and
then I remember as I
became a Christian and I just prayed a
lot got in the scriptures a lot we
prayed for one another we loved getting
in the presence of the Holy Spirit and
just in that fellowship with the Holy
Spirit I was cutting grass one day and
I'm cutting my yard more in the yard and
I'm praying the whole time you know my
mind somewhere else I'm doing this
strenuous work but my mind is somewhere
else you know and uh and I felt that I
felt the Lord tell me God the Holy
Spirit say uh you got a demon I was like
I never even heard of anything like this
and I'm cutting the grass you got a
demon it's like well kind of ok God if
this is you what is it what's what's
going on because of your mom and I went
back to that place and seeing the
visions of my mom it's like wow there
was some type of stronghold entity came
through through the actions that my mom
was doing that's her having this
authority figure over me and having
influence in my life and stuff and I
resented my mama I don't know if I hated
my mom but I it wasn't a good
relationship and I remember going to a
prayer meeting and praying about it and
asking support some people to decide and
say hey I was praying and I felt like
God told me I had a demon I don't know
what to do we all pray for me pulled me
to the room on the side they started
praying and I immediately started
convulsing I started screaming at the
top of my lungs crying I don't know
where it came from
they started praying for me and they
said okay we may see a manifestation we
may see something happen and I thought I
thought a demon was gonna jump out of my
body and run down the hallway I call for
the movies you know I didn't know what
to expect and he started praying I
started convulsing I broke down locked
up and they tried they pray for me for
like three hours straight man I was
screaming the blood blisters in my face
was was busting and I had like big red
welts and like met busted under my skin
dude and I had like I had chickenpox and
stuff and in fright 3 hours and they
were just in the name of Jesus come out
come out and it could it wouldn't leave
it was intense they're yelling at me
they got the Bible on my forehead trying
to cast out a demon and they can't so it
was about 1:00 in the morning and they
were all exhausted I'm on the ground I
could barely breathe
at times and
crying they called a pastor and said hey
he's over here he's got a demon we can't
cast it out can you come by here and
help the pastor comes over he sits down
on the couch in front of me I'm laying
on the floor exhausted and I'm crying
still he said uh he said derec do you
want to let this thing go I said yeah I
know I don't even know the guy and he
said you won't let it go say yeah it's
a-okay
that's what I need you to do I need you
to say mom I love you and I forgive you
and I'm trying to say it and I couldn't
I broke I sort of what weeping again man
and I set up if you want to let this
thing go you got to do it and and
finally I did man I you know I said mom
I love you I forgive you and instantly
man it broke and they prayed for me
peace came that old familiar spirit left
that been with me since I was a child
childhood trauma it left instantly and
it goes it goes to show you something
about the power of forgiveness like you
stated and it goes to show you something
too about casting out demons oh it's not
just yelling and I command you in Jesus
name to come out it's about going to the
point of pain and finding forgiveness in
those areas man so my story dude totally
links up but what you were saying about
the whole mom thing and mom chose him
and you questioned it and stuff when did
you ever find anything going on with
that those areas with your mom have you
had intercourse or anything like that
well you know with that you know yeah I
I've been talking to her I've been
talking to her lately because uh you
know not long ago I was talking with the
pastor about this very same thing and
you know he told me that he had received
a word from me and he had told me that
that there was one thing that I was
holding on to and when I whenever I was
able to find out what that is and let
that go that that the Lord would just
you know open everything up to me
understanding and all that and
for a couple days I I had prayed on it
and you know I had thought to to call my
mom but the very thought of me doing
that action of actually of actually
calling my mother I knew right there
that that's what it was because even
when it came to me trying to trying to
call her whatever I still felt
bitterness and anger and not really
knowing how to approach her about it but
uh but I did I went in ahead and I get
it and once I did I could feel the
bondage that that that had started
starting to break I was able actually
able to start loving her again
you know like she's still with man you
know I want to say that he he'd this man
is on his deathbed basically he now
lives with testicular and colon cancer
yeah not to rejoice over that but but to
say that you know if like he if I didn't
feel like he got what he deserved for
only getting the that turned out years
or whatever that God had his day
you know guys uh let's let vengeance be
mine you know and I truly believe that
you know he may I hope that he finds God
where he's at I really do
I pray for that you know but but you
know when he's saying we standing in
front of the Lord the Lord is going to
have his judgment on him now he may be
able to you know find
repentance and and and get to get to
heaven but he's suffering here now on
earth you know and I think about that
and like wow you know like what my mom
what must my mom be thinking having to
sit with him every day and
and and go through this where she's
having to take care of him knowing that
this result this is a result from his
action what he did with her children you
know you know I used to I used to be
pretty mean I remember one 4th July I
was at my sister's and I had been
drinking a little and my mom was there
because my sister still talks to her
stuff but I had looked at her and I
asked her you know I said how how can
you let the man who who stuck his
staying in your children stick it in you
you know that's pretty harsh right she
couldn't uh she didn't know how to
respond so what I've been doing lately
uh we're talking to her like I'm just
giving her the truth straight up the
truth as much as she doesn't want to
hear it I told her that you know that I
had that I had been delivered and that I
had found Christ and I you know I give
her a little testimony about what he's
doing in my life you know she has two
two grandkids to mine and I have a boy
and a girl cadence in heaven hi baby
hopefully not watching this but a car
maybe later when you get older but she
you know she she doesn't uh she's never
been able to to see them I think she
she's been able to talk to them on the
phone a couple of times but you know in
the future I can see that I can see that
changing you know I I hope that I'm not
wrong but I kind of wanted to go and get
with her face to face whenever this guy
passes I talked to her about some things
you know and kind of get some disclosure
but what I've been doing with her is
I've been telling her look this happened
um you know our whole lives you you
didn't want to accept this but this is
the way it is
you know I told her that I was going to
try to be speaking out a different you
know such full solid evidence anything I
could to try to get the message out
which is why I got a hold of you thank
you for that talent right and no thank
you
and um you know I told her that she if
she wants to have a relationship with me
that you know that that she has to
Justice II got out and let God show her
the truth in this matter you know not
only that but so that she can find
healing and forgiveness for herself
because honestly bro I think that she's
in shambles she's never been able to
forgive herself for the stance that she
made on this now I drew mommy I've seen
like you know where where was the rest
of the family on this how does a
ten-year-old you know and about on the
streets dude I mean literally I slept on
on sidewalks for a couple years with
people walking right over me you know I
had my little hustles here and there and
I did what I had to do to survive but
nobody really elected and I had it you
know it's it's a sad thing because you
know unless something is happening in
your immediate family it's really hard
for people to open up their eyes to
what's really going on and the bigger
scope of things yeah when right now as
as we speak right now there there are
some children who are being assaulted in
this matter you know and and and that's
that may I mean I cry and I cry being a
management now now and then I am in it
God allows me to cry man and it's okay
because I came back and be sorrowful for
people going through this you know I
can't solve for for people who are are
caught up in in in drug addiction
alcoholism uh you know okay I'm gonna
sit to be like Maya my drug addiction I
started doing jokes when I was six years
old
my stepfather would give me marijuana
tell me to smoke it and that it wouldn't
hurt his back you know so from that I
began smoking all time whatever and you
know from from it being a form of
release or a way to get away it just
became an addiction which allows other
addictions to come in you know I'm a
firm believer now when I see here people
say oh you know marijuana's the Gateway
I didn't want to believe that because
honestly I fought my whole life
supporting the marijuana movement you
know all my prison time that I did was
over marijuana and I did two turns I did
five years over marijuana as an adult my
whole my whole life I've done thirteen
and a half years locked up over
marijuana so that became my my identity
as well you know I I believed in it and
a wholeheartedly but when God starts
showing me the truth when I had finally
came and I was tired man and I know my
baby's mother big fan of yours by the
way she she had been praying for months
that I would come up to where she was
and get into a sober living home and
during that time I had been I've been an
accident where I was cutting in a road
I flipped like 200 feet down down this
mountain that was steep it was up in
Malibu I was like straight now job and I
remember when I was going over when I
knew I had lost it I asked God to
forgive me and to share my my children
but about halfway down I found myself on
the only fat piece of flat land on that
on that mountain
and right about that time my phone
landed next to me I look up and this
Bobcat that I was in flew over my head
and my phone line next to me and I pick
it up and I had a text from my daughter
telling me she loved me you know so
right there was yeah look I got a mini
Bob CAPA there's no way I should have
survived that like I honestly felt like
that I was lifted up out of that thing
I didn't have a seatbelt on I was
fumbling around the cage by the time it
hit Pacific Coast Highway it was like a
can like a smash can you know and I
stood up and I looked and I didn't have
any severed arms or nothing was missing
you know and I thought how did that yeah
you know right there but she'd been
praying from us to get me up to where
she was and this was after that and
that's when I when I had had enough you
know I I seen where my Aston's was was
leading me you know you know I keep
skipping around but you know I went from
from marijuana to doing speed at for the
first time at 12 years old I was giving
to me my knuckle from there you know I
got into pills from pills I got into
heroin you know I was a straight-up
junkie when I came when I finally I came
to Christ and I mean hypodermic needles
and all you know I'm not going to be
ashamed of anything that I've done and
I'm not gonna label myself anything
because you know my bio my were sittin
there on the new creation they don't
think I mean they're all things are past
looking at some of your older pictures
versus where you are now and you look
like a totally different person the
Scriptures aren't true you're our new
creator brother you look way better man
you look great yeah Thank You minute
I feel better you know and it's not just
about
the outside brother like I feel I feel
the freedom that is in Christ you know I
you know we we don't understand the
death and the scope of what he did for
us on the cross man because I'm only I'm
only here relative sure in in his
kingdom and what he what he's done for
us you know being in the situation that
I was and and being the old man that I
was if there wasn't a Christ I would
have never came came been able to come
through that you know and it's just that
thing but a lot of people are trapped in
this in this lie of this you know this
persona or this fake fake identity that
that we allow Satan to the fake identity
that we allow Satan to to to come in and
do so smoothly without us even even
blinking and I added because you know
for one if if you're not in the word you
know and and if you're not seeking God
it's kind of hard to see the truth
through the lies you know my identity
was the the music that I listen to
matter of fact the music that I listened
to was exactly who I was you know I was
a that dope dealer just all around all
around bad boy you know that that that
they glorify bro and that's that in
itself is another subject let me ask you
about this because when it comes to
healing man and I've looked at my life
and and my family members and my mom and
things like that and I've noticed that
I've got healing from like all my
childhood wounds my traumas my lying
still and cheating deceiving robbing
like I got that that that's at the cross
right and then even the deep stuff
stuff that nobody knows about this stuff
that only only me and God know about
like I like that that stuff's gone I got
healing from it
I found that either you get healing from
it or you carry it with you and suppress
it and people do that through different
things this I have some friends who are
counselors and they teach you and
Christian counselors - who teach you how
to go back to the point of pain and how
to relive it speak forgiveness into
those areas and how to deal how to cope
and how to you know there's a bunch of
stuff that's taken from you whenever you
experience that type of trauma as a man
or woman at it at an early age things
that you don't get and you're closed off
- and you don't trust people no more and
you can't let it you know hugging a man
seems weird to you now because the last
man who was hugging you was
inappropriate things like that you know
I've and we see that so you either get
healing from it or you suppress it so to
talk a little bit about why you need to
get healing from it or once it's
important not to suppress it and just
carry on like everything is good how it
is important to deal with it because
some people are living their life in it
they try not to think about it even
though it does come out in other areas
what just like I just said you can't let
nobody touch you sexual things maybe
off-limits to you now because of
remembrance of what you you happen to
from a family member
I've seen all of these cases man talk a
little bit about the importance why you
need to get healing in those areas
well why we need to get healing in these
areas uh as often evident it's it's
evident by by the way a person carries
yourself by what they're what they're
doing in their life to find to find
healing for this type of thing man a you
know I have to give all credit to to
Christ and coming and coming to know him
I honestly believe man
with my whole heart that there is no
other way there is no other way but the
cross you know we we we want to you know
think that you know like I would suggest
you know if you if you think you need
you need counseling or whatever to seek
that out but I would suggest to first
seek see Christ on the matter and get
with somebody find a pastor find another
Christian brother or you know I know
that you want to show many people
believe in and different things and
stuff but I'm only I'm only talking
about what Christ has done for me and
and how I found forgiveness you know it
totally took me just laying it all down
I mean laying laying every bit of it
down not holding on to one thing and
which I you know the devil does such a
good job bro that I didn't know how to
really do that you know I can only say
that I always had a piece of God but
never fully understanding you know how
to grasp all of them that's because I
mean myself opt-ins like this Satan
Satan what's coming he bombards us with
different distractions in our lives like
you know you know I went from this stuff
happening I found an excuse to want to
suppress the feelings by using drugs or
alcohol or being sexual on myself you
know to wanting to explore at an early
age and you know thank God I didn't have
my first kid saw I was 30 but to find
healing man like there is no other way
like I had to take it to the cross I
gotta give Jesus all the praise of glory
and honor for this oh so what happened
when you found healing so because
there's a couple of in and I want to
just get a little bit of detail because
there are some realms of thought and
like Christian communities and stuff so
like that was a Christian Christian
community is once you get saved once you
go to the cross and you ask Christ to
come in then that's it everything's done
it's over but then there's other realms
of thought which I love that you have to
you have to deal with it like
specifically you have to address these
things you get people to pray hey man
this is what happened to me can you pray
for me and then there may be counsel and
Emmy in the scriptures talk about
healing from wise counsel and confessing
your sins one to another that we may
find healing that's powerful so what was
the actual like point of like okay
something happened here was it at the
conversion or was this was it something
else as well more this is a little bit
of a process man you know I I think
that's the biggest conception that there
is that uh you know that Christianity
has taken a lot of flack over you know
it's not a fly-by-night thing you know
you don't you don't come in and that's
got it
you know Jesus in your heart and accept
him and then you know and just go on and
keep on living the way that we were
living know when you when you finally
find when you finally find Christ there
he begins a process men of dealing with
one matter at a time it seems you know
like I I started you know I started
doing with me you know first you had to
get the the drugs and stuff out you know
and and and that itself is a mystery
such a lot of people that I know that
are in certain programs you know my bash
on them or anything but we think that
once we dealt with the the alcohol or
drugs that are in our life that
everything's okay never really
confronting the issue on what got you
there in the first place you know so I
mean for me it's it's it's been a
process I'm still in the process God is
still forever talking to me and changing
with me and and and dealing with the
with the heart of the matter
specifically like yeah I had to you know
and there's a lot of things man I mean
there's so many different issues I
enjoyed it my father I can I can go in
into the issue on on how I've been with
my own children yeah it's a mouthful man
it's not just okay I found forgiveness
I'm able to move on and be okay like
it's so much inward working that Christ
does in our hearts man if we allow them
and it's called it's called the
sanctification process man it's the
hammering process where he's making us
into what it was the scripture says that
he is the Potter we are the clay and
he's forming us and he's making us and
he's pressing us and it doesn't always
feel good going through that stuffer or
confessing it or even when it comes up
sometimes it's violent it comes up and
it takes years and we have to learn
lessons and learn over and over again
but it's working it is working and so
that's that's the deal and so you come
into Christ is your story it works for
you it is your story it is it is it is
your truth and you can take it and share
it with people who's going through
similar stuff and it works without the
shadow of a doubt it's your reality
there's nothing else that is true and it
works and and I encourage you to keep
doing that man before we go we got a few
minutes left man there was anything that
you wanted to touch on that we did and
then we can pray before we go but I was
anything that you like to the story like
the final pieces of like where you are
now with it and how you're moving
forward helping people find victory in
these areas right now with the is a you
know could complete trust and what God's
doing in my life and where he's trying
to take me I will never understand you
know hopefully I do but no I don't
understand the fullness of what he's
trying to do
I do believe it's something in in this
area because he has you know gave me a
passion for and a boldness to to speak
out but I really just want to touch on
it anybody anybody out there is going
through this or you you may know
somebody who has a has been abused or or
having some issues in their lives
rugged diction or whatever I just I just
pray that I don't pray I you know get on
your hands and knees and ask God to
intercede for that person don't try to
you know a lot of times we don't want to
deal with stuff especially coming in
from the outside man I just ask that
everyone open up their heart to to try
to look around a little more to you know
to to be affected to somebody who's
hurting in this area and you know they
may not even understand the root of it
you know the root of it is straight up
Satan's like I said before you know he's
here to kill steal and destroy you know
there's nothing nothing anything good
comes from the father above you no not
from him he wants to pump pump fear in
our hearts he wants to Pompeii's your
hearts I mean he literally wants to
destroy us so I mean if if anybody out
there who who needs help there is a
foundation and it's called a you can
contact them it's raining are a I NN w W
or they do with things in this area you
know I mean and that too I gave my name
if anybody wants to talk they can hit me
up on that messenger if I can be in any
service to to anybody to help in this
area to help shed some light on the
things that you know Satan tries to hold
us down and never never
every ever able to allow us to find our
true identity in Christ you know I'm
here so how old were you
you'd say when you finally found healing
for the for that situation um it's not
too long ago man it was this year
I see about seven months ago no how are
you you know so there's no like I had it
like I said like I had always uh I
always you know no one Christ I believe
but I just didn't really uh come with
full repentance like this I wanted to
hold on to that I thought you know that
I needed in my life uh now I'm 39 39 so
39 years carrying the baggage to hurt
the trauma it's affected your
relationships the way you view authority
authority figures men your masculinity
becoming a man telling talking about
this and holding it in hoping nobody
finds out about it 39 years and then it
finally broke when it when you when you
submitted it to the cross and found
healing through Christ man that's a
beautiful story and I don't care if
you're 39 years I don't care if he's 60
years old 70 however old you are 15 14
13 however you old you are listening to
this like there is healing man and there
are people there who want to talk to you
or willing to talk to you and and they
care and not just there but they like
people actually care Chris is one of
them I'm one of them when it when it
happened to me man and I was mess with
that as a kid as well and so when it
would happen to me I told my grandmother
and I told my mom they said we're just
you know just don't go over there no
more and I was kind of shocked I was
like ain't there supposed to go to jail
or something ain't something supposed to
happen like which was it call the police
I like got the nerve to say okay mom
this happened you know and I told my mom
and I'm thinking that we're gonna go to
trial and you know go to the cops that's
what I said that's what I had the
courage up to
to tell him to read get ready to go that
one I just don't go over there no more
yeah okay you know that you know that
that's an area to when a kid or somebody
who's being abused like this whenever he
he goes to somebody or she goes to
somebody that that they trust and are
denied man that that is devastating I
would say I mean you know you know
they're they're signs for this for
anybody who's listening if if you know a
child who is just was just withdrawn
from from things who is angry all the
time and you say well you know I don't
know why I asked like that and whatever
will maybe she try talking to the kid
get a little deeper you know go outside
of yourself and look at the bigger
bigger scope of things because I mean
what the six the the statistics that we
have man it is staggering staggering uh
how many kids are being abused out there
you know they and they you know I like I
have a couple things here you know in uh
every every ninety eight seconds in
America an American is sexually
assaulted every eight minutes that
victim is a child meanwhile only six out
of every 1000 end up in prison
it says DNA evidence can can increase
the holding of the perpetrator
accountable you know so I mean right
there says you know only six out of 1000
perpetrators get convicted and go to
prison that's crazy that's crazy you
know so I mean this area needs prayer
Satan uh specifically is attacking a
mean and we're seeing it get worse and
worse we got you know that you know we
see a lot of a lot more things on on
pedophilia and there's people actually
out there fighting for pedophilia rights
yeah and that's that's where I like to
step in and and get an idea what what
that perpetrator does to a child and
what it does to his life yeah and the
strongholds that better put on that kid
and for people to to say that it should
be okay to have sex with children
wow you know what I mean like I don't I
don't want to be that person when they
stand before the Most High you don't
mean yeah so I mean it's a big issue
people you know you know try you know
try to hopefully this opens up some eyes
and we look around a little bit more to
uh what's going on around us don't it I
mean if you see a kid that's hurting a
struggling or on the street you're
homeless man you know finding your heart
to maybe stop and ask some questions or
offer the water or something you know I
know how that is I know to be ten years
old what is between years old and and II
just feel like there there's no hope and
no one there and just be hungry and just
dying for some love and affection yeah
so definitely man it's you know we're
very big in this spirituality here and
especially as if you're a Christian
you're believing you should be in the
spirituality too but it's very practical
it doesn't always have to be deep
casting out demons laying on hands most
of the time is to say showing people
that you care showing people that you
willing to listen and you want you want
good for them and you care about people
it's really that simple like I said said
from the beginning if it if this is a
spirituality or topics that you I could
discuss that can't help anybody or it's
not like applicable to somebody who's
struggling like and it's not practical
for them I don't really care to discuss
it so I'm glad you came on bro
many people are dealing with this and
it's been a subject that we've been
talking about here a lot lately too we
did another show on this with Anthony
coming so if anybody wants more info on
the show definitely refer back to the
interview I did with Anthony Cummings it
was a great
of you talking into some more detail
about this and how to find victory over
it and talking about it and and in the
churches and a lot of people you know
they don't talk about this so thanks for
coming on brother
um let's pray out man let's pray for
those people who are watching somebody
who may be on on the verge or they you
know they're dealing with some stuff I
believe that that the power of God is
here now to set them free to touch them
and kind of move upon their hearts even
now just kind of give them that nudge
and that comfort so I'll let you pray
man I'll agree with you okay
the father we just saw we just thank you
for this this time that uh that you've
allowed us to to come and bring truth
father father I disasters you start
touching anybody and everybody out there
father that are struggling with these
addictions or with these strongholds on
their lives father father I just ask
that you just started breaking breaking
the chains right now father the chains
of bondage that holds us down that that
uh that Satan wants to keep on you know
keep on our lives uh you know he like I
said before he that he's a liar Lord
Lord through this you get the victory
you know nothing it's nothing but you
father father I say I just asked father
that is that I as we go off the air here
father that you just that you just start
breaking breaking down the walls father
that that holds you apart from from
entering any of our hearts father father
I just pray for all the children out
there right now for being sexually
abused in or abused in any type of way
father that you just be with them father
father I just pray that there's even any
pedophiles or anybody who who is
listening father access that father you
just move in you begin to change your
heart father let them fight some
some repentance of father if I expect
you forgive to be forgiven I need to
forgive we all do father
I think you for Derek I just ask father
that you just that she just keep
building him up father and and what he's
trying to do by getting the message of
Christ out there father we just love you
we just give you all the the the honor
praise and glory I citizen Jesus name
Amen
I thank you that you've shown us the way
of salvation you've shown us the way of
forgiveness and healing God so anybody
out there right now under the sound of
my voice was dealing with unforgiveness
and as soon as I said the word the
person came to mine and you know the
person who's wronged you the person that
has a piece of you so right now we just
want to release them from you release
them we cut all ties right now and I
just what I want you to do anybody
listening right now and in that person
who's wronged you who are you thinking
of and it could be sexually it could be
emotionally mentally any anything we're
just gonna say their name on a count of
three
I want you to say the name 1 2 3 and
we're just simply gonna say I forgive
you on the count of 3 1 2 3
I forgive you Lord as we release these
people who have wronged us and have
sinned against us God we pray you
forgive them and we forgive them father
for your prayer is Father forgive them
for they know not what they do God and I
thank you Lord that love covers a
multitude of sins
and as we forgive them Lord that your
grace and your love was shined down upon
us and your forgiveness to flow to us in
any area of our lives that needs healing
that needs touched God I thank you for
your son who makes all things new
our minds our hearts our bodies our
sexual lives everything God you touch us
and in places Lord deep down to the
darkest parts of our hearts that
nobody's ever seen God you can make all
things new and I thank you Lord that we
find solace in you and I pray that those
who are watching right now just better
feel your presence feel your Holy Spirit
and know that you are the truth God you
are the way the truth in the life and no
man comes to the Father but by you we
bless your Holy Name Amen
brother thanks for coming on sharing
your story man proud of you keep doing
it whatever you need for me I'm here for
you you need if you want to come back on
have a panel discussion about other
topics so much more to talk about but
keep doing it man go look YouTube is
full of people who have podcast and and
have audiences who need to hear this
this message man keep getting it out
there brother I'm proud of you man keep
doing your thing my brother we'll catch
up soon brother Shalom Shalom amen
so talking about some stuff that it's
kind of hard to talk about kind of hard
to open up those those wounds man but I
think healing comes to the broken places
first and so we got to deal with that
stuff because if we don't it will
infiltrate other areas of our lives
it'll infiltrate everything that we said
far as the areas of unconfessed sin and
I think the scriptures are true man when
it says that um that if we confess our
sins one to another he is faithful and
just to forgive us of our sins Lauren
Hill she had a a MTV Unplugged session
and it's powerful man if you guys have
not seen Lauren Hill's MTV Unplugged
session watch it man it's when she kind
of came out of the entertainment
business and had a relationship with God
had a relationship with Jesus and just
found out who she really was outside of
the lights and the glamour and the glitz
and
she was kind of bearing at all and she
talks about that as long as you tell
them about yourself about embrace your
flaws and confess them and stuff that
nobody has nothing against you they
can't hold anything over your head
because everything that you do is out in
the open you don't have to worry about
somebody finding about out about your
deepest darkest secrets and these type
of things because you live in the light
the scripture says that we are to live
in a light as he is in the light and
there's so much truth to that just
walking in confession you you know
almost like Eminem and eight-mile I
don't know if you guys have seen that
that movie but when they did the final
rap battle scene and they had and we
kind of went in on him so it was time
for Eminem to rap and he just started
rapping about all his flaws
yeah I'm this yeah I'm that yeah I live
in a trailer park
yeah I'm white yeah I'm wack yeah I'm
this and he just killed it and they
didn't have any any any fuel on them
they didn't have any ammunition on him
because he was just kind of laid it all
out there so okay we can't make fun of
him for being white he's okay with being
white we can't make fun in from living
in a trailer park or his mom not being
there or a girlfriend cheating on him
he's he just expressed all of it and
he's okay with it it is it makes him who
he is and so there's so much truth even
in that one scene you know at the end of
that movie and if I gave it away I'm
sorry but go back and watch it is still
powerful but to be in the light to live
a life style of confession and I've seen
throughout my life so many times of just
being in weird places in situations
where have unconfessed sin and and this
is just when I say sin just stuff that's
killing you bad stuff stuff that you
don't want God to see you know I'm
saying you hope that nobody sees and you
confess that sin and but when you hold
it in man it it staggers up and it's
like when we talk a lot like clearing
your chakras and letting the energy flow
and and and for me the chakras
everything is symbolic is the root
chakra with the sexual energy the third
I like all of that stuff is about things
that are going on in your life
spiritually sexually and you to have
everything aligned and everything
flowing you need to have you need to be
open in each one of those areas like you
can't have anything that you're hiding
from God and there's so many people who
talk about trying to hold stuff back or
trying to trick people or have a hidden
agenda or a hidden motive or something
like that right you have to be clear and
everything that you're doing and
everything that you're doing every
single thing and it's true and you'll
find healing in that true in inner
healing and you'll find peace you don't
have to you don't have to be deceptive
you don't have to try to win the
arguments we just have to be forgiving
and open and loving in love conquers a
multitude of sins
the scripture says perfect love casts
out all fear
that's powerful I've had to stand upon
that many times but tell me man I've
been in situations as a believer have
someone who believes in Christ and I
have a relationship with Jesus and God
and the Holy Spirit and I've been in
situations where I had unconfessed sin
in my life and it bothered me and it was
like staggering me like a stagnant water
and I couldn't get to the next place
where I was supposed to be spiritually
mentally destiny wise you stuck until
you confess that sin and you deal with
it and um and I've sought the Lord in
tears and confessed it to brothers
sisters different things and and it
doesn't have to be nothing big and crazy
like childhood trauma it doesn't have to
be that big it could be little stuff
that um you're holding it in and and
it's blocking the flow just like it
builds like a dam and the water can't
get past the water your energy can't
flows through freely and now we have to
we have to deal with that stuff that's
why we we do what we do and I've been
doing personal one-on-one sessions with
people who have had that type of trauma
and dealing with things and helping them
get over it I've been going on a lot of
platforms interviews and healing healing
shows essentially and I got some more
coming up we're gonna be doing open
healing sessions for those who
aren't able to book a private session
but we do open healing sessions as well
people call in and we just do energy
work on those areas and it is it is
through the power of Christ through the
power of love to me Jesus Christ
represents love embodied in a person
like if love became a person the word
became flesh you know the word is love
he sent forth he sent forth his word to
heal them and it's real man whatever you
wants real you want to walk in disbelief
if you want to walk in backbiting and
gossip and slander if you want to
quarrel everybody's out to get you
that's that could be real - but you can
walk in a place of peace forgiveness
where everything is aligned everything
is flowing freely and the things that
you're creating are happening with ease
and you're in the flow synchronicities
are happening all over the place
you got to continue the flow make it
happen so with that I'm gonna say peace
and Shalom and I'm what's in here
watching the chatroom as I'm speaking as
well so thank you everybody for hanging
out in the chatroom having dialog Jason
welcome to the podcast man Adam Carolyn
David everybody holding it down Chanelle
popped in [Â __Â ] bunch of people man a
call priestess say how are y'all doing
thank you so much for hanging out with
me here yeah and so like I said with
that I must say Shalom another reminder
for those of you wanting to support what
I'm doing head on over to patreon comm
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helping me to continue to do what I'm
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really AM it's just growing group growth
is good growth is good in every area
patreon and and seeing people who
believe in what I'm doing people who
want more they want me to continue to do
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free to consume it's not free to produce
this
so thank you guys so much everybody
who's supporting over there you get some
pretty cool stuff working on some cool
music to patreon.com backslash true
seeker
like I said we'll plug the other
episodes if you guys were wanting some
that are on this topic the Anthony
Cummings interview that's on my on my
page and there's another interview that
I did over a year ago probably two years
now but um it's a young lady by the name
of Angie Duncan and Angie Duncan was in
the adult film industry and sex
trafficking all that stuff interviewed
her had her on the podcast very powerful
episode man she kind of goes into some
of the spiritual warfare and things
behind that and coming out of that and
where she is now and so that was a
powerful episode that's on my website as
well Angie Duncan just typed it in on a
search bar and I'll probably have it as
a related link in the description as
well so with that again everybody god
bless and Shalom Jason man hang out
brother I'll do a show or video touching
on that very soon just in if you have
any questions about that question people
don't know he saw he's asking about the
gods of the Bible the Jordan he's
referring back to the Jordan Maxwell
Show interview that we did Jordan
Maxwell mentioning the gods hit me up on
Facebook man I'll go into some detail
with that with you with that I must say
peace and Shalom peace peace
that does it for this episode folks if
you hear more episodes of the truth
seeker podcast head over to you
seeker come and if you wanted to support
the show and get rewards go to our
patreon page at patreon.com forward
slash truth seeker