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Chris Duthridge share his personal story of of sexual abuse and childhood trauma. Chris’s story is one of hope and overcoming obstacles and demons of the past.
Chris Duthridge was able to find freedom from years of sexual abuse and childhood trauma that led to a lifestyle of drug use and violence. Many people are suffering late into their adult year from things that have happened to them even as a child. We we find forgiveness and lend it towards those who have wronged us an even greater measure of forgiveness is then poured out upon us. Not dealing with childhood trauma only leads to creating more trauma and heartache to the lives of individuals of the people arounds us and even to the people we love. We must move from the place of victim and become the victor that God has created us to be. Standing and walking in a lifestyle of complete victory and not being a victim of circumstances is our God-given birthright but many of us end up on default and are blown around to and fro by the winds of change at even the slightest gusts. We must come to realize that life isn’t happening to you, but through you. Once we a conscientious of this we then can bring the power back to ourselves and create the life that we have dreamed of by possessing each “Now Moment” by taking every thought captive and speaking out life and peace over our path. This testimony of grace shows us that we can find forgiveness from our own demons and offer it back towards people who have wronged us. Chris Duthridge is now a professing Christian and says that his relationship with Jesus is what taught him how to find true healing.

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truth seeker and all its affiliates are not responsible for any strange phenomena that may occur during or after listening to this podcast which may include the following heightened senses of awareness psychic abilities UFO sightings alien contact time loss out-of-body experiences ringing in the ears ESP lucid dreaming increased synchronicities astral projection telepathy stronger intuition levitation miraculous healings and all remote viewing please be advised to asymmetry indecision [Music] [Music] won’t you [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] spiritual ladies and gentlemen I’m your host true seeker we’re back with another exciting episode of the true seeker podcast so we have an awesome show planned for you guys tonight everybody joining us over in the chatroom on Facebook land everybody hanging out on YouTube watching life people who are listening to this on the podcast and everybody wants to know how to catch a live podcast how to call in a broadcast live on YouTube so if you’re listening to the audio version make sure you subscribe to my youtube channel there you get the alerts when we go live so you guys can call in be a part of the show the phone number will be in the description scrolling across the bottom all the good stuff if you guys would like to call in add to the conversation or share your stories as well we definitely make that available for you guys as always I got to say a huge thank you to everybody who was supporting my work via patreon must a must anywhere from $1 $5 $10 a month you get access to exclusive content if you head on over to patreon comm backslash troops ago we got unreleased music over there special patreon only Facebook group a bunch of cool features over there and that’s just to say thank you for everyone who is supporting all my new work is just being released over there I get messages all the time people want to know when am i coming out with new music when you’re coming out with a new album well there’s already a bunch of new music out and it’s uploaded on so head on over there backslash true seeker become a member and get some cool cool rewards unlock some cool unreleased music that nobody’s heard only the patrons it means a lot I’m doing this full time now the podcast is free to consume but it’s not free to produce so thank you guys from the bottom of my heart everybody who is supporting over there you guys mean the world to me and my family tonight show we touch on all kind of topics on here man we just like to cover truth I don’t like to deal with conspiracy theories too much anymore I mean that kind of was one of the things that kind of woke me up to start digging about the government and start digging about different topics at hand that were being lied to about by different sources religious systems and the government and all these people teachers and stuff and I don’t really get into theories anymore so I get messages from people who want to come on and talk about the Las Vegas shooter and I’ll do all of this kind of stuff that we can’t really prove you know I’m saying it’s not gonna help us and no matter what kind of theories or whatever is going on with that kind of stuff I don’t think it’s gonna help us out in our life and I like to deal with the stuff that’s tangible stuff that’s applicable to our lives that’s gonna help us be the better people better fathers better friends better husbands but better coworkers all that kind of stuff so spirituality and things that you can apply to your everyday life and so that’s what we try to cover here and in and out of that is so much stuff so many different topics that I believe fit in with the agenda that I push which is love peace joy and understanding and what can make your ride just a little bit easier a little bit more comfortable help you enjoy life and and even overcome obstacles and I think tonight that’s what we’re going to be talking about overcoming obstacles tragedy triumph hope victory peace joy a lot of people go through life man and they hit rock bottom and I’ve been at my rock bottom once or twice and the thing that kind of blows my mind is when people hit rock bottom just pain and heartache and things like that and drug addiction and stuff and they stay there like I don’t see how people do it man they they’re able to stay at rock bottom but tonight we’re gonna talk to somebody who was at that place and who got up off the floor with help from above so without further ado I’m gonna welcome our guest tonight which is chris dodd’s what’s up my brother welcome to the show hey what’s going on man yeah before we started off man can we can we get a little bit of a prayer yeah totally dear Heavenly Father we just come to you right now our Father we we’re just seeking your God his father ask that you open up these airways father that you open up the hearts father for anybody that might be struggling in these areas father I asked father that she just began to break the bondage often then father father we know that Satan is a liar we know that he is only here to kill steal and destroy father tonight I just ask that you speak jewelry for the father and then I I just asked father that that my words be of you and not of myself father father that you just allow me the the platform to to reach the ears that that need to hear and open the eyes that need to be open father uh we sell a stage in Jesus name Amen amen there’s nothing more powerful than that man the prayer and the spoken word coming from a place of humility and honesty nothing to prove no agenda but just coming from just this place of brokenness and place of wanting to see people healed and want to see people transform there’s nothing more powerful than that what’s the scripture say the prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective like that’s a fact man that the prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective isn’t that something that when we pray that we can believe that that we’re not just begging God or petitioning God but that we know that he hears us when we pray when we pray and if we pray according to his will his promises are yes and amen they’re already done and so we just go forth and establish that man so dude thanks so much for opening up with prayer everybody knows that the phone lines are open if anybody needs prayer we’ll be opening up the phone lines at the end man if anybody needs a word of encouragement definitely call in and we will do that man we love each and every one of you guys and we believe in you so tonight we’re gonna get kind of deep we’re gonna we’re going to touch on some things that you know people talk about them but they’re kind of afraid to us there’s so many people who have struggled and have Dell with sexual abuse molestation and things like that and most people hold it in and and strongholds start to form in their mind and their thought patterns even as a young age you know a question and whether if they’re you know their sexuality their sexual preference you know they were touched at a young age when their mind was forming by an uncle or a family member or a neighbor and it messes it messes with you man so we want to go into your story man cuz I know that’s a big part but i’ma let you go ahead and and start wherever you want just to kind of tell the people who you are man why are you here alright oh my name is uh well obviously you guys know my name is Christopher death Ridge you know I just like to start off by saying that uh you know this subject goes deeper then then the the action of the the perpetrator or anybody who had might have harmed you in any sexual way uh being younger or older this goes back to you know Ephesians I think it starts at Ephesians 6:12 says uh we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against demonic forces in high places heavenly hosts so I mean I just want you know what when one touch on tonight is it’s pretty deep man um you know I was four years old when I started being severely sexually abused and not only was that but you know my mother she she when I would really would tell her what was going on she would call us a liar so the one person that that I needed to look to for help you know denied me you know and not knowing even knowing who God was at that time and I was still calling out for someone to help you know you know it’s it’s pretty sad you know the the devil use and my mom would go to church and this guy would he would do it to smile my stepfather ever do it to this twice a week you know only while she was at church so early on you know Satan starts attacking us from the from the beginning you know he he wants to I remember my mom coming to me around that time almost about when I was over and she woke up out of my sleep and told me that a demon had came to her and I told her that he was going to to try and kill us that he was going to split up our family that we would just be lost that he was just going to destroy everything and every every bit of that happened but you know I think that because of it going on for so long it went on for three years you know this was something very violent something very demonic this guy I mean I’m talking you know am i okay to the be blunt is all right yeah well I mean I mean because I think it’s important that you know I don’t you know I was pretty graphic so you know forgive me if I offend anybody but uh you know being four years old and getting my my manhood to to the point to where my mother would uh you know she’d come in she’d ask me to sit down and I and I couldn’t you know because I hurt so so bad back there this guy was making me give him you know oral sex there was penetration so I mean this was some pretty some pretty evil stuff you know I know that and his family spend I’m talking about this was something that happened and went on for Jared you know generations you know I think the bible does talk about generational curses but i mean you know not only that but you know he used manipulation tactics on us to keep us where he wanted us you know he would he would tell us if anybody said anything you know that he was going to kill our mother you know he would go as far as to use a love you know but you know one thing I want to stress you know I talked about this you know and I talked about the Eagle behind it but I want to stress the importance of forgiveness in this matter it’s very important the only way that I’m actually able to be able to come out and talk about this is by having found a forgiving heart to go in and forgive this man you know he’ll face his Judgment Day when he sees the Lord you know I mean I can’t I can’t expect to be forgiven over the things that I’ve done in my life unless I’m ready to forgive him as well you know my mom this guy when I was saying here’s all this went on for three years well seven years old my mother I’m sorry not my mother but my brother decided to tell the school and you know I think God for that everyday because if it wouldn’t have been for his courage I probably wouldn’t have had that had had the courage I remember sitting in school on that very day and sitting there just broken inside man very scared didn’t want to go back home and right before they called me to the office I remember thinking you know when is this going to end you know how long is this is is this going to go on before you know something stops it so I ready you even in that for it going on three years my questioning God began there you know the devil wanted the lie wanted to come and say you know if there’s a God you know how can he allow us to happen which which is you know that’s a lot of people’s questions these days you know they they they want to know you know if there’s a God why why is there so much chaos in the world why are all these things happening when really you know you know after Adam and Eve we were all born into sin you know we were all given free will so it wasn’t it wasn’t that God didn’t allow this it was the fact that this man had God nowhere in him or around him you know so I mean I mean it goes very deep so at seven my brother I’m sorry if I’m bouncing around a little bit but my brother told the school I finally got some closure on that they wouldn’t arrested the man and there started another journey in itself you know because we started going to court this guy was bold enough to take it to trial instead of just accept me instead of just accepting the fact that he did this and took his punishment you know so I not only did I have to go through that but I was made to relive the whole thing all over again I still sitting on the stand and pointing this man out I mean look him in the face and totally go over everything that happened during that three years you know you know I have I have a brother who who was totally lost man right now he he was one of the ones that it happened to matter of fact whenever my stepfather was done with me he would make me go outside and call my brother inside and me knowing you know walking out there and having this you know can’t even sit down and play because I was hurting back there so bad have to tell my brother you know that is his turn to go in you know and that has deeply affected me throughout my whole life you know Satan has in it and this all the way through a row because you know from their front from having my mother not believe me to building up all this hate and resentment that I had towards him telling him but the government for how they handle things which I’ll get into a little late but you know I was sitting there I was sitting there at the trial and it was so hard man it was so hard to have to to tell this to my mother who was sitting there as well who who still was who still had this this guy is back on this like she she didn’t leave her she stayed with him matter of fact my mother is still with this man today you know she she stayed with this man while he went to prison he only got two and a half years got convicted for both me and my brother you only got two and a half years on that when he got out I was a I was almost ten I think and my mother she she asked me or I came her and I asked her if I could lead because she had told me that he was going to or she was going to let him back into the house that she wanted him to come home you know and that right there I I don’t know how you know it’s it’s a sad thing because well first of all I had asked her if I believed she looked at me and she said well you can probably take care of your yourself better than I can right now anyways so I left how old was your 12 was your 12 it no is that 10 years old when you got out so I left man I left and I found a home in the streets you know I found a false family out there which you know they ain’t and and that again I felt I I got into taking and did a lot of a lot of crazy stuff and that that I can’t take back now but it pushed me towards a false family you know I mean instead of the only and if I’m wondering well where with social services and and everybody in this you know like how does a ten-year-old go live on the streets well it happened you know what I mean people slip through the cracks once he he got out of prison and parole started checking on him CPS went away CPS is Child Protective Services those who don’t know here in California but uh you know so so right there even that with my mom with my mom telling me it’s okay to leave and really choosing him over her children devastated me you know I was really mad at God you know I began they’re creating this false identity for myself not understanding you know what Jesus did on the cross for me you know not understanding the the the cup he drank man to to to make you free from all this you know I mean had I had a little bit had had a little better direction who knows you know he needs to go you know I was tan I lived on the streets for years before a family took me in a lady named Sandy rest in peace she’s dead now you know with her I she really showed me what a mom is supposed to be like and I and there I found a little bit of confident in having a little bit of family and I I stayed with her with her family until I was about eighteen eighteen years old when I when I got convicted on my first felony but for Mary like I was saying you know I started creating this uh this tough-guy image you know it was me I guess you know like pastas me against the world I didn’t want to I didn’t I didn’t like the you know I didn’t like cops or anything because I felt like they do enough to prevent him from even going back into the home man I mean how does that happen yeah you know my poor brothers and sister my sister you know they had to live with that I was strong enough you know or God seen fit to set me apart from that so I didn’t have to continue and living in that but I think about it every day you know my sister now she she’s barely coming around and talking to me about her abuse whenever I’d had no idea that she was being abused either you know and um you know until later that she came out with this you know you know my sister is my is my best friend right now she you know she’s my rock I love her to death but it’s sad man like I really don’t have any contact my brother’s my brother so far out there right now that it’s going to take us hands to bring him back you know he has a problem to where he he takes all of his doors off in the house I take it because he’s afraid to be behind closed doors you know but I mean you know I have to ask God to intercede and and do something in there because I mean I know that he’s broken and I know where it’s coming from but yeah man III from there I caught my first felony I started selling drugs pretty heavy man my time I was 18 I don’t want to you know put any any names out there but I work for you know a couple of large organizations to where I would I wouldn’t heal drugs back you know back into the states and things like that you know so and then I think two of them and there would be the only place that I would really have a chance to sit back and have a chance to to get with God and you know like the I forget what’s what’s burst it is but uh you know if the Seas not planning on on solid ground you know it to see falls to a rocky ground the the devil comes in still see so I was never able every people to really fully accept Christ into to my life to where I had to the repentance of it in my heart to to go ahead and turn around and do it 360 on it it seemed like I could only get halfway and then the devil would come and Rob me from that you know excuse me and the subjects a little tough you know but you know I I think that God really really just working with me he’s trying to be trying to get it out to where that men you know I see one upon the sea men have a really hard time talking about this you know and women too but I’m trying to focus mainly on the men because I am a man you know I know I’m a man you know just because that that happened to me at that age doesn’t make me any less of a minute you know I’m a child of God and I truly believe that he hasn’t work for me but it’s so hard for for men to come out on this issue and go ahead and talk about it not realizing that without talking about it without without it you know asking Jesus to come in and to to help them in their lives you know we we we hold on to it it loses its power when we talk about it this issue is so important because I know this so many people out there who are hurting and don’t know how to come out and talk about this whoo-hoo just hold it inside not realizing that that’s a bondage that Satan has on their lives like you know all this stuff it took me you know started something something more than me can I go back just a little bit at the age of 10 I started selling I started selling drugs I started selling I started pushing for guys in the neighborhood that that was seeing out in the streets and then you know I don’t know how to this is but they would try to help me out I guess hey that’s what you want to call it you know what I mean but I would make a little bit of money from doing a little route real quick or whatever and I did that to survive as well as a GTA’s car theft robbery whatever I had to do you know and I let that I let those things become Who I am I let these tattoos become Who I am to try to try to put up this facade of me being somebody who I really wasn’t man because I was really broken inside and I was scared and I’ve always been I’ll say then like a scared little boy inside just trying to just trying to trying to make it look like I was tough on the outside so nobody could see the journey inside yeah I think there’s a lot of people doing that and I’ve heard a few people talk about that with the weightlifting community as well like trying to build up this big hard tough shell that you can’t get through because you know on the inside they’re these frail little little boys essentially and I talk about like that when that trauma happens to you at that early age that mentally we’re kind of stuck there like we never get to get past it and we’re always living from that point of pain and they even talk about like like a lot of people who like you we talked about before the show people who are in in car serrated you know who have had a lot of this stuff has happened to them and they haven’t been able to talk about it or fin and it shows that they’re weak it shows that they’re vulnerable oh you let somebody do that to you really you let somebody do that and it gets into this this weird stuff him and men build up build up this wall where they don’t want nobody to see them as weak or as vulnerable honestly man I had some stuff happen to me when I was a kid as well and we just buried the person last week I think it was or the week before I went to a funeral not not because of him but because I had family members who were saying mourning the loss of their father and I went not to support him or to rejoice but it’s just it was just a weird a weird feeling to be there and that that chapter had been over and I had to get healing as well and my story’s very similar to yours with dealing with childhood wounds childhood trauma and we talked about the mom issue like there was a lot of stuff that I had to deal with when I when I came to Christ dealer was deliverance and dealing with I I just try to quickly set up this little story man like I had a lot of stuff going on with my mom my mom told me I was stupid over her to say I was an accident she didn’t mean to have me and I’ll just look little stuff like that and it it does something to you man as a kid to hear this stuff and then your mom picking the boyfriends over you and just little stuff it builds up and there was a guy who was uh he was abusing us and my mom physically and mentally not not sexually though but um my mom would take his side he would he would get so peeled up and drunk and just say weird stuff to us and to my sister and say he’s gonna kill us and my mom would laugh and like take his side and it was like it was demonic how like I would look over my mom and my mom was smirking while this guy was jumping our but you know in some weird drunken stupor you know and it it did something to me that’s a kid I’m looking what the heck is once my mom doing that and and then I remember as I became a Christian and I just prayed a lot got in the scriptures a lot we prayed for one another we loved getting in the presence of the Holy Spirit and just in that fellowship with the Holy Spirit I was cutting grass one day and I’m cutting my yard more in the yard and I’m praying the whole time you know my mind somewhere else I’m doing this strenuous work but my mind is somewhere else you know and uh and I felt that I felt the Lord tell me God the Holy Spirit say uh you got a demon I was like I never even heard of anything like this and I’m cutting the grass you got a demon it’s like well kind of ok God if this is you what is it what’s what’s going on because of your mom and I went back to that place and seeing the visions of my mom it’s like wow there was some type of stronghold entity came through through the actions that my mom was doing that’s her having this authority figure over me and having influence in my life and stuff and I resented my mama I don’t know if I hated my mom but I it wasn’t a good relationship and I remember going to a prayer meeting and praying about it and asking support some people to decide and say hey I was praying and I felt like God told me I had a demon I don’t know what to do we all pray for me pulled me to the room on the side they started praying and I immediately started convulsing I started screaming at the top of my lungs crying I don’t know where it came from they started praying for me and they said okay we may see a manifestation we may see something happen and I thought I thought a demon was gonna jump out of my body and run down the hallway I call for the movies you know I didn’t know what to expect and he started praying I started convulsing I broke down locked up and they tried they pray for me for like three hours straight man I was screaming the blood blisters in my face was was busting and I had like big red welts and like met busted under my skin dude and I had like I had chickenpox and stuff and in fright 3 hours and they were just in the name of Jesus come out come out and it could it wouldn’t leave it was intense they’re yelling at me they got the Bible on my forehead trying to cast out a demon and they can’t so it was about 1:00 in the morning and they were all exhausted I’m on the ground I could barely breathe at times and crying they called a pastor and said hey he’s over here he’s got a demon we can’t cast it out can you come by here and help the pastor comes over he sits down on the couch in front of me I’m laying on the floor exhausted and I’m crying still he said uh he said derec do you want to let this thing go I said yeah I know I don’t even know the guy and he said you won’t let it go say yeah it’s a-okay that’s what I need you to do I need you to say mom I love you and I forgive you and I’m trying to say it and I couldn’t I broke I sort of what weeping again man and I set up if you want to let this thing go you got to do it and and finally I did man I you know I said mom I love you I forgive you and instantly man it broke and they prayed for me peace came that old familiar spirit left that been with me since I was a child childhood trauma it left instantly and it goes it goes to show you something about the power of forgiveness like you stated and it goes to show you something too about casting out demons oh it’s not just yelling and I command you in Jesus name to come out it’s about going to the point of pain and finding forgiveness in those areas man so my story dude totally links up but what you were saying about the whole mom thing and mom chose him and you questioned it and stuff when did you ever find anything going on with that those areas with your mom have you had intercourse or anything like that well you know with that you know yeah I I’ve been talking to her I’ve been talking to her lately because uh you know not long ago I was talking with the pastor about this very same thing and you know he told me that he had received a word from me and he had told me that that there was one thing that I was holding on to and when I whenever I was able to find out what that is and let that go that that the Lord would just you know open everything up to me understanding and all that and for a couple days I I had prayed on it and you know I had thought to to call my mom but the very thought of me doing that action of actually of actually calling my mother I knew right there that that’s what it was because even when it came to me trying to trying to call her whatever I still felt bitterness and anger and not really knowing how to approach her about it but uh but I did I went in ahead and I get it and once I did I could feel the bondage that that that had started starting to break I was able actually able to start loving her again you know like she’s still with man you know I want to say that he he’d this man is on his deathbed basically he now lives with testicular and colon cancer yeah not to rejoice over that but but to say that you know if like he if I didn’t feel like he got what he deserved for only getting the that turned out years or whatever that God had his day you know guys uh let’s let vengeance be mine you know and I truly believe that you know he may I hope that he finds God where he’s at I really do I pray for that you know but but you know when he’s saying we standing in front of the Lord the Lord is going to have his judgment on him now he may be able to you know find repentance and and and get to get to heaven but he’s suffering here now on earth you know and I think about that and like wow you know like what my mom what must my mom be thinking having to sit with him every day and and and go through this where she’s having to take care of him knowing that this result this is a result from his action what he did with her children you know you know I used to I used to be pretty mean I remember one 4th July I was at my sister’s and I had been drinking a little and my mom was there because my sister still talks to her stuff but I had looked at her and I asked her you know I said how how can you let the man who who stuck his staying in your children stick it in you you know that’s pretty harsh right she couldn’t uh she didn’t know how to respond so what I’ve been doing lately uh we’re talking to her like I’m just giving her the truth straight up the truth as much as she doesn’t want to hear it I told her that you know that I had that I had been delivered and that I had found Christ and I you know I give her a little testimony about what he’s doing in my life you know she has two two grandkids to mine and I have a boy and a girl cadence in heaven hi baby hopefully not watching this but a car maybe later when you get older but she you know she she doesn’t uh she’s never been able to to see them I think she she’s been able to talk to them on the phone a couple of times but you know in the future I can see that I can see that changing you know I I hope that I’m not wrong but I kind of wanted to go and get with her face to face whenever this guy passes I talked to her about some things you know and kind of get some disclosure but what I’ve been doing with her is I’ve been telling her look this happened um you know our whole lives you you didn’t want to accept this but this is the way it is you know I told her that I was going to try to be speaking out a different you know such full solid evidence anything I could to try to get the message out which is why I got a hold of you thank you for that talent right and no thank you and um you know I told her that she if she wants to have a relationship with me that you know that that she has to Justice II got out and let God show her the truth in this matter you know not only that but so that she can find healing and forgiveness for herself because honestly bro I think that she’s in shambles she’s never been able to forgive herself for the stance that she made on this now I drew mommy I’ve seen like you know where where was the rest of the family on this how does a ten-year-old you know and about on the streets dude I mean literally I slept on on sidewalks for a couple years with people walking right over me you know I had my little hustles here and there and I did what I had to do to survive but nobody really elected and I had it you know it’s it’s a sad thing because you know unless something is happening in your immediate family it’s really hard for people to open up their eyes to what’s really going on and the bigger scope of things yeah when right now as as we speak right now there there are some children who are being assaulted in this matter you know and and and that’s that may I mean I cry and I cry being a management now now and then I am in it God allows me to cry man and it’s okay because I came back and be sorrowful for people going through this you know I can’t solve for for people who are are caught up in in in drug addiction alcoholism uh you know okay I’m gonna sit to be like Maya my drug addiction I started doing jokes when I was six years old my stepfather would give me marijuana tell me to smoke it and that it wouldn’t hurt his back you know so from that I began smoking all time whatever and you know from from it being a form of release or a way to get away it just became an addiction which allows other addictions to come in you know I’m a firm believer now when I see here people say oh you know marijuana’s the Gateway I didn’t want to believe that because honestly I fought my whole life supporting the marijuana movement you know all my prison time that I did was over marijuana and I did two turns I did five years over marijuana as an adult my whole my whole life I’ve done thirteen and a half years locked up over marijuana so that became my my identity as well you know I I believed in it and a wholeheartedly but when God starts showing me the truth when I had finally came and I was tired man and I know my baby’s mother big fan of yours by the way she she had been praying for months that I would come up to where she was and get into a sober living home and during that time I had been I’ve been an accident where I was cutting in a road I flipped like 200 feet down down this mountain that was steep it was up in Malibu I was like straight now job and I remember when I was going over when I knew I had lost it I asked God to forgive me and to share my my children but about halfway down I found myself on the only fat piece of flat land on that on that mountain and right about that time my phone landed next to me I look up and this Bobcat that I was in flew over my head and my phone line next to me and I pick it up and I had a text from my daughter telling me she loved me you know so right there was yeah look I got a mini Bob CAPA there’s no way I should have survived that like I honestly felt like that I was lifted up out of that thing I didn’t have a seatbelt on I was fumbling around the cage by the time it hit Pacific Coast Highway it was like a can like a smash can you know and I stood up and I looked and I didn’t have any severed arms or nothing was missing you know and I thought how did that yeah you know right there but she’d been praying from us to get me up to where she was and this was after that and that’s when I when I had had enough you know I I seen where my Aston’s was was leading me you know you know I keep skipping around but you know I went from from marijuana to doing speed at for the first time at 12 years old I was giving to me my knuckle from there you know I got into pills from pills I got into heroin you know I was a straight-up junkie when I came when I finally I came to Christ and I mean hypodermic needles and all you know I’m not going to be ashamed of anything that I’ve done and I’m not gonna label myself anything because you know my bio my were sittin there on the new creation they don’t think I mean they’re all things are past looking at some of your older pictures versus where you are now and you look like a totally different person the Scriptures aren’t true you’re our new creator brother you look way better man you look great yeah Thank You minute I feel better you know and it’s not just about the outside brother like I feel I feel the freedom that is in Christ you know I you know we we don’t understand the death and the scope of what he did for us on the cross man because I’m only I’m only here relative sure in in his kingdom and what he what he’s done for us you know being in the situation that I was and and being the old man that I was if there wasn’t a Christ I would have never came came been able to come through that you know and it’s just that thing but a lot of people are trapped in this in this lie of this you know this persona or this fake fake identity that that we allow Satan to the fake identity that we allow Satan to to to come in and do so smoothly without us even even blinking and I added because you know for one if if you’re not in the word you know and and if you’re not seeking God it’s kind of hard to see the truth through the lies you know my identity was the the music that I listen to matter of fact the music that I listened to was exactly who I was you know I was a that dope dealer just all around all around bad boy you know that that that they glorify bro and that’s that in itself is another subject let me ask you about this because when it comes to healing man and I’ve looked at my life and and my family members and my mom and things like that and I’ve noticed that I’ve got healing from like all my childhood wounds my traumas my lying still and cheating deceiving robbing like I got that that that’s at the cross right and then even the deep stuff stuff that nobody knows about this stuff that only only me and God know about like I like that that stuff’s gone I got healing from it I found that either you get healing from it or you carry it with you and suppress it and people do that through different things this I have some friends who are counselors and they teach you and Christian counselors – who teach you how to go back to the point of pain and how to relive it speak forgiveness into those areas and how to deal how to cope and how to you know there’s a bunch of stuff that’s taken from you whenever you experience that type of trauma as a man or woman at it at an early age things that you don’t get and you’re closed off – and you don’t trust people no more and you can’t let it you know hugging a man seems weird to you now because the last man who was hugging you was inappropriate things like that you know I’ve and we see that so you either get healing from it or you suppress it so to talk a little bit about why you need to get healing from it or once it’s important not to suppress it and just carry on like everything is good how it is important to deal with it because some people are living their life in it they try not to think about it even though it does come out in other areas what just like I just said you can’t let nobody touch you sexual things maybe off-limits to you now because of remembrance of what you you happen to from a family member I’ve seen all of these cases man talk a little bit about the importance why you need to get healing in those areas well why we need to get healing in these areas uh as often evident it’s it’s evident by by the way a person carries yourself by what they’re what they’re doing in their life to find to find healing for this type of thing man a you know I have to give all credit to to Christ and coming and coming to know him I honestly believe man with my whole heart that there is no other way there is no other way but the cross you know we we we want to you know think that you know like I would suggest you know if you if you think you need you need counseling or whatever to seek that out but I would suggest to first seek see Christ on the matter and get with somebody find a pastor find another Christian brother or you know I know that you want to show many people believe in and different things and stuff but I’m only I’m only talking about what Christ has done for me and and how I found forgiveness you know it totally took me just laying it all down I mean laying laying every bit of it down not holding on to one thing and which I you know the devil does such a good job bro that I didn’t know how to really do that you know I can only say that I always had a piece of God but never fully understanding you know how to grasp all of them that’s because I mean myself opt-ins like this Satan Satan what’s coming he bombards us with different distractions in our lives like you know you know I went from this stuff happening I found an excuse to want to suppress the feelings by using drugs or alcohol or being sexual on myself you know to wanting to explore at an early age and you know thank God I didn’t have my first kid saw I was 30 but to find healing man like there is no other way like I had to take it to the cross I gotta give Jesus all the praise of glory and honor for this oh so what happened when you found healing so because there’s a couple of in and I want to just get a little bit of detail because there are some realms of thought and like Christian communities and stuff so like that was a Christian Christian community is once you get saved once you go to the cross and you ask Christ to come in then that’s it everything’s done it’s over but then there’s other realms of thought which I love that you have to you have to deal with it like specifically you have to address these things you get people to pray hey man this is what happened to me can you pray for me and then there may be counsel and Emmy in the scriptures talk about healing from wise counsel and confessing your sins one to another that we may find healing that’s powerful so what was the actual like point of like okay something happened here was it at the conversion or was this was it something else as well more this is a little bit of a process man you know I I think that’s the biggest conception that there is that uh you know that Christianity has taken a lot of flack over you know it’s not a fly-by-night thing you know you don’t you don’t come in and that’s got it you know Jesus in your heart and accept him and then you know and just go on and keep on living the way that we were living know when you when you finally find when you finally find Christ there he begins a process men of dealing with one matter at a time it seems you know like I I started you know I started doing with me you know first you had to get the the drugs and stuff out you know and and and that itself is a mystery such a lot of people that I know that are in certain programs you know my bash on them or anything but we think that once we dealt with the the alcohol or drugs that are in our life that everything’s okay never really confronting the issue on what got you there in the first place you know so I mean for me it’s it’s it’s been a process I’m still in the process God is still forever talking to me and changing with me and and and dealing with the with the heart of the matter [Music] specifically like yeah I had to you know and there’s a lot of things man I mean there’s so many different issues I enjoyed it my father I can I can go in into the issue on on how I’ve been with my own children yeah it’s a mouthful man it’s not just okay I found forgiveness I’m able to move on and be okay like it’s so much inward working that Christ does in our hearts man if we allow them and it’s called it’s called the sanctification process man it’s the hammering process where he’s making us into what it was the scripture says that he is the Potter we are the clay and he’s forming us and he’s making us and he’s pressing us and it doesn’t always feel good going through that stuffer or confessing it or even when it comes up sometimes it’s violent it comes up and it takes years and we have to learn lessons and learn over and over again but it’s working it is working and so that’s that’s the deal and so you come into Christ is your story it works for you it is your story it is it is it is your truth and you can take it and share it with people who’s going through similar stuff and it works without the shadow of a doubt it’s your reality there’s nothing else that is true and it works and and I encourage you to keep doing that man before we go we got a few minutes left man there was anything that you wanted to touch on that we did and then we can pray before we go but I was anything that you like to the story like the final pieces of like where you are now with it and how you’re moving forward helping people find victory in these areas right now with the is a you know could complete trust and what God’s doing in my life and where he’s trying to take me I will never understand you know hopefully I do but no I don’t understand the fullness of what he’s trying to do I do believe it’s something in in this area because he has you know gave me a passion for and a boldness to to speak out but I really just want to touch on it anybody anybody out there is going through this or you you may know somebody who has a has been abused or or having some issues in their lives rugged diction or whatever I just I just pray that I don’t pray I you know get on your hands and knees and ask God to intercede for that person don’t try to you know a lot of times we don’t want to deal with stuff especially coming in from the outside man I just ask that everyone open up their heart to to try to look around a little more to you know to to be affected to somebody who’s hurting in this area and you know they may not even understand the root of it you know the root of it is straight up Satan’s like I said before you know he’s here to kill steal and destroy you know there’s nothing nothing anything good comes from the father above you no not from him he wants to pump pump fear in our hearts he wants to Pompeii’s your hearts I mean he literally wants to destroy us so I mean if if anybody out there who who needs help there is a foundation and it’s called a you can contact them it’s raining are a I NN w W or they do with things in this area you know I mean and that too I gave my name if anybody wants to talk they can hit me up on that messenger if I can be in any service to to anybody to help in this area to help shed some light on the things that you know Satan tries to hold us down and never never every ever able to allow us to find our true identity in Christ you know I’m here so how old were you you’d say when you finally found healing for the for that situation um it’s not too long ago man it was this year I see about seven months ago no how are you you know so there’s no like I had it like I said like I had always uh I always you know no one Christ I believe but I just didn’t really uh come with full repentance like this I wanted to hold on to that I thought you know that I needed in my life uh now I’m 39 39 so the trauma it’s affected your relationships the way you view authority authority figures men your masculinity becoming a man telling talking about this and holding it in hoping nobody finds out about it 39 years and then it finally broke when it when you when you submitted it to the cross and found healing through Christ man that’s a beautiful story and I don’t care if you’re 39 years I don’t care if he’s 60 years old 70 however old you are 15 14 this like there is healing man and there are people there who want to talk to you or willing to talk to you and and they care and not just there but they like people actually care Chris is one of them I’m one of them when it when it happened to me man and I was mess with that as a kid as well and so when it would happen to me I told my grandmother and I told my mom they said we’re just you know just don’t go over there no more and I was kind of shocked I was like ain’t there supposed to go to jail or something ain’t something supposed to happen like which was it call the police I like got the nerve to say okay mom this happened you know and I told my mom and I’m thinking that we’re gonna go to trial and you know go to the cops that’s what I said that’s what I had the courage up to to tell him to read get ready to go that one I just don’t go over there no more yeah okay you know that you know that that’s an area to when a kid or somebody who’s being abused like this whenever he he goes to somebody or she goes to somebody that that they trust and are denied man that that is devastating I would say I mean you know you know they’re they’re signs for this for anybody who’s listening if if you know a child who is just was just withdrawn from from things who is angry all the time and you say well you know I don’t know why I asked like that and whatever will maybe she try talking to the kid get a little deeper you know go outside of yourself and look at the bigger bigger scope of things because I mean what the six the the statistics that we have man it is staggering staggering uh how many kids are being abused out there you know they and they you know I like I have a couple things here you know in uh every every ninety eight seconds in America an American is sexually assaulted every eight minutes that victim is a child meanwhile only six out of every 1000 end up in prison it says DNA evidence can can increase the holding of the perpetrator accountable you know so I mean right there says you know only six out of 1000 perpetrators get convicted and go to prison that’s crazy that’s crazy you know so I mean this area needs prayer Satan uh specifically is attacking a mean and we’re seeing it get worse and worse we got you know that you know we see a lot of a lot more things on on pedophilia and there’s people actually out there fighting for pedophilia rights yeah and that’s that’s where I like to step in and and get an idea what what that perpetrator does to a child and what it does to his life yeah and the strongholds that better put on that kid and for people to to say that it should be okay to have sex with children wow you know what I mean like I don’t I don’t want to be that person when they stand before the Most High you don’t mean yeah so I mean it’s a big issue people you know you know try you know try to hopefully this opens up some eyes and we look around a little bit more to uh what’s going on around us don’t it I mean if you see a kid that’s hurting a struggling or on the street you’re homeless man you know finding your heart to maybe stop and ask some questions or offer the water or something you know I know how that is I know to be ten years old what is between years old and and II just feel like there there’s no hope and no one there and just be hungry and just dying for some love and affection yeah so definitely man it’s you know we’re very big in this spirituality here and especially as if you’re a Christian you’re believing you should be in the spirituality too but it’s very practical it doesn’t always have to be deep casting out demons laying on hands most of the time is to say showing people that you care showing people that you willing to listen and you want you want good for them and you care about people it’s really that simple like I said said from the beginning if it if this is a spirituality or topics that you I could discuss that can’t help anybody or it’s not like applicable to somebody who’s struggling like and it’s not practical for them I don’t really care to discuss it so I’m glad you came on bro many people are dealing with this and it’s been a subject that we’ve been talking about here a lot lately too we did another show on this with Anthony coming so if anybody wants more info on the show definitely refer back to the interview I did with Anthony Cummings it was a great of you talking into some more detail about this and how to find victory over it and talking about it and and in the churches and a lot of people you know they don’t talk about this so thanks for coming on brother um let’s pray out man let’s pray for those people who are watching somebody who may be on on the verge or they you know they’re dealing with some stuff I believe that that the power of God is here now to set them free to touch them and kind of move upon their hearts even now just kind of give them that nudge and that comfort so I’ll let you pray man I’ll agree with you okay the father we just saw we just thank you for this this time that uh that you’ve allowed us to to come and bring truth father father I disasters you start touching anybody and everybody out there father that are struggling with these addictions or with these strongholds on their lives father father I just ask that you just started breaking breaking the chains right now father the chains of bondage that holds us down that that uh that Satan wants to keep on you know keep on our lives uh you know he like I said before he that he’s a liar Lord Lord through this you get the victory you know nothing it’s nothing but you father father I say I just asked father that is that I as we go off the air here father that you just that you just start breaking breaking down the walls father that that holds you apart from from entering any of our hearts father father I just pray for all the children out there right now for being sexually abused in or abused in any type of way father that you just be with them father father I just pray that there’s even any pedophiles or anybody who who is listening father access that father you just move in you begin to change your heart father let them fight some some repentance of father if I expect you forgive to be forgiven I need to forgive we all do father I think you for Derek I just ask father that you just that she just keep building him up father and and what he’s trying to do by getting the message of Christ out there father we just love you we just give you all the the the honor praise and glory I citizen Jesus name Amen I thank you that you’ve shown us the way of salvation you’ve shown us the way of forgiveness and healing God so anybody out there right now under the sound of my voice was dealing with unforgiveness and as soon as I said the word the person came to mine and you know the person who’s wronged you the person that has a piece of you so right now we just want to release them from you release them we cut all ties right now and I just what I want you to do anybody listening right now and in that person who’s wronged you who are you thinking of and it could be sexually it could be emotionally mentally any anything we’re just gonna say their name on a count of three I want you to say the name 1 2 3 and we’re just simply gonna say I forgive you on the count of 3 1 2 3 I forgive you Lord as we release these people who have wronged us and have sinned against us God we pray you forgive them and we forgive them father for your prayer is Father forgive them for they know not what they do God and I thank you Lord that love covers a multitude of sins and as we forgive them Lord that your grace and your love was shined down upon us and your forgiveness to flow to us in any area of our lives that needs healing that needs touched God I thank you for your son who makes all things new our minds our hearts our bodies our sexual lives everything God you touch us and in places Lord deep down to the darkest parts of our hearts that nobody’s ever seen God you can make all things new and I thank you Lord that we find solace in you and I pray that those who are watching right now just better feel your presence feel your Holy Spirit and know that you are the truth God you are the way the truth in the life and no man comes to the Father but by you we bless your Holy Name Amen brother thanks for coming on sharing your story man proud of you keep doing it whatever you need for me I’m here for you you need if you want to come back on have a panel discussion about other topics so much more to talk about but keep doing it man go look YouTube is full of people who have podcast and and have audiences who need to hear this this message man keep getting it out there brother I’m proud of you man keep doing your thing my brother we’ll catch up soon brother Shalom Shalom amen so talking about some stuff that it’s kind of hard to talk about kind of hard to open up those those wounds man but I think healing comes to the broken places first and so we got to deal with that stuff because if we don’t it will infiltrate other areas of our lives it’ll infiltrate everything that we said far as the areas of unconfessed sin and I think the scriptures are true man when it says that um that if we confess our sins one to another he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins Lauren Hill she had a a MTV Unplugged session and it’s powerful man if you guys have not seen Lauren Hill’s MTV Unplugged session watch it man it’s when she kind of came out of the entertainment business and had a relationship with God had a relationship with Jesus and just found out who she really was outside of the lights and the glamour and the glitz and she was kind of bearing at all and she talks about that as long as you tell them about yourself about embrace your flaws and confess them and stuff that nobody has nothing against you they can’t hold anything over your head because everything that you do is out in the open you don’t have to worry about somebody finding about out about your deepest darkest secrets and these type of things because you live in the light the scripture says that we are to live in a light as he is in the light and there’s so much truth to that just walking in confession you you know almost like Eminem and eight-mile I don’t know if you guys have seen that that movie but when they did the final rap battle scene and they had and we kind of went in on him so it was time for Eminem to rap and he just started rapping about all his flaws yeah I’m this yeah I’m that yeah I live in a trailer park yeah I’m white yeah I’m wack yeah I’m this and he just killed it and they didn’t have any any any fuel on them they didn’t have any ammunition on him because he was just kind of laid it all out there so okay we can’t make fun of him for being white he’s okay with being white we can’t make fun in from living in a trailer park or his mom not being there or a girlfriend cheating on him he’s he just expressed all of it and he’s okay with it it is it makes him who he is and so there’s so much truth even in that one scene you know at the end of that movie and if I gave it away I’m sorry but go back and watch it is still powerful but to be in the light to live a life style of confession and I’ve seen throughout my life so many times of just being in weird places in situations where have unconfessed sin and and this is just when I say sin just stuff that’s killing you bad stuff stuff that you don’t want God to see you know I’m saying you hope that nobody sees and you confess that sin and but when you hold it in man it it staggers up and it’s like when we talk a lot like clearing your chakras and letting the energy flow and and and for me the chakras everything is symbolic is the root chakra with the sexual energy the third I like all of that stuff is about things that are going on in your life spiritually sexually and you to have everything aligned and everything flowing you need to have you need to be open in each one of those areas like you can’t have anything that you’re hiding from God and there’s so many people who talk about trying to hold stuff back or trying to trick people or have a hidden agenda or a hidden motive or something like that right you have to be clear and everything that you’re doing and everything that you’re doing every single thing and it’s true and you’ll find healing in that true in inner healing and you’ll find peace you don’t have to you don’t have to be deceptive you don’t have to try to win the arguments we just have to be forgiving and open and loving in love conquers a multitude of sins the scripture says perfect love casts out all fear that’s powerful I’ve had to stand upon that many times but tell me man I’ve been in situations as a believer have someone who believes in Christ and I have a relationship with Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit and I’ve been in situations where I had unconfessed sin in my life and it bothered me and it was like staggering me like a stagnant water and I couldn’t get to the next place where I was supposed to be spiritually mentally destiny wise you stuck until you confess that sin and you deal with it and um and I’ve sought the Lord in tears and confessed it to brothers sisters different things and and it doesn’t have to be nothing big and crazy like childhood trauma it doesn’t have to be that big it could be little stuff that um you’re holding it in and and it’s blocking the flow just like it builds like a dam and the water can’t get past the water your energy can’t flows through freely and now we have to we have to deal with that stuff that’s why we we do what we do and I’ve been doing personal one-on-one sessions with people who have had that type of trauma and dealing with things and helping them get over it I’ve been going on a lot of platforms interviews and healing healing shows essentially and I got some more coming up we’re gonna be doing open healing sessions for those who aren’t able to book a private session but we do open healing sessions as well people call in and we just do energy work on those areas and it is it is through the power of Christ through the power of love to me Jesus Christ represents love embodied in a person like if love became a person the word became flesh you know the word is love he sent forth he sent forth his word to heal them and it’s real man whatever you wants real you want to walk in disbelief if you want to walk in backbiting and gossip and slander if you want to quarrel everybody’s out to get you that’s that could be real – but you can walk in a place of peace forgiveness where everything is aligned everything is flowing freely and the things that you’re creating are happening with ease and you’re in the flow synchronicities are happening all over the place you got to continue the flow make it happen so with that I’m gonna say peace and Shalom and I’m what’s in here watching the chatroom as I’m speaking as well so thank you everybody for hanging out in the chatroom having dialog Jason welcome to the podcast man Adam Carolyn David everybody holding it down Chanelle popped in sissy bunch of people man a call priestess say how are y’all doing thank you so much for hanging out with me here yeah and so like I said with that I must say Shalom another reminder for those of you wanting to support what I’m doing head on over to patreon comm backslash true secret the link is in the description the link is everywhere if you want to support the show even a dollar a month five dollars a month ten dollars whatever you want to do you get exclusive content there and you’re helping me to continue to do what I’m doing I’m blown away by the support really AM it’s just growing group growth is good growth is good in every area patreon and and seeing people who believe in what I’m doing people who want more they want me to continue to do the podcast it’s just you know it’s it’s free to consume it’s not free to produce this so thank you guys so much everybody who’s supporting over there you get some pretty cool stuff working on some cool music to backslash true seeker like I said we’ll plug the other episodes if you guys were wanting some that are on this topic the Anthony Cummings interview that’s on my on my page and there’s another interview that I did over a year ago probably two years now but um it’s a young lady by the name of Angie Duncan and Angie Duncan was in the adult film industry and sex trafficking all that stuff interviewed her had her on the podcast very powerful episode man she kind of goes into some of the spiritual warfare and things behind that and coming out of that and where she is now and so that was a powerful episode that’s on my website as well Angie Duncan just typed it in on a search bar and I’ll probably have it as a related link in the description as well so with that again everybody god bless and Shalom Jason man hang out brother I’ll do a show or video touching on that very soon just in if you have any questions about that question people don’t know he saw he’s asking about the gods of the Bible the Jordan he’s referring back to the Jordan Maxwell Show interview that we did Jordan Maxwell mentioning the gods hit me up on Facebook man I’ll go into some detail with that with you with that I must say peace and Shalom peace peace [Music] [Music] that does it for this episode folks if you hear more episodes of the truth seeker podcast head over to you seeker come and if you wanted to support the show and get rewards go to our patreon page at forward slash truth seeker [Music]

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