True Hallucinations | The Magic of an Alchemist | Drew Gower
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OodkF-eCvEk
Transcript source: YouTube captions

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spiritual yo what's up ladies and
gentlemen we're tuned in to another live
broadcast of the truth seeker podcast
I'm excited to be here
delighted as well got an awesome show
planned I'm gonna give you guys some
inside looks some back story about how
came-- true hallucinations right the
magic of an alchemist and so the person
that I'm gonna be speaking with tonight
we we go far back and have she has seen
my transformation through spiritual
alchemy and I've seen his in and out of
religion and playing around and coming
back to and flirtin things like that and
just understanding what we want to do
with life what the path is that God the
most high creator has for us and trying
to manifest that so we got some some
tips we're gonna be covering we're gonna
be talking about psychedelics as well
and how they have impacted our lives and
very excited about this show tonight
this is gonna be an uncanny show so
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guys mean the world to me so without
further ado I'm gonna bring on tonight's
guests Andrew Gower drew gobble what's
up my brother what's up bro how are you
I'm well man it's good to see you bro
looking good looking good thanks to you
drew hey okay so drew is down now from
right under 400 pounds so he weighed in
I think today or yesterday at what 202
butter into pounds bro
202 that yeah and that's 186 pounds and
the fourth of this month was 17 months
17 months yeah hard work dedication pays
off I know I know your hashtag right now
and the movement that you have it's hash
tag no days off that's what you're
branded that's what you're pushing my
hash tag and they go together but hash
tag consistency man just whatever
whatever you're doing to be consistent
with it right yes sir yes sir it's a lot
of hard work you know people ask all the
time like how do you do it or whatever
like it's a big secret there's no secret
man it's really just hard
whatever you're willing to dedicate
yourself to and you know hard work pays
off
not give up I like the fact that you
used the word secret right because
that's a big thing and uh you know in
the movements and stuff the secret and
what we're gonna talk about tonight is
the secret behind the secret so we've
all watched that documentary many of us
have read that book and it's about the
law of attraction the law of
manifestation which the secret touches
on a bunch of beautiful things about
visualizing things and seeing them come
to manifestation in your own life and
they just tell you just to think about
it but it's it's a lot more they kind of
leave it at that right and so obviously
if you is to think about losing weight
or your dream job or where you want to
be with your family just thinking about
it I mean how far does that get you
I mean you can have the best intentions
of the whole world like this world is
full of good intentions and but if like
you don't do anything with that if you
don't like put the work in that's all
it's gonna ever be is just an intention
you know up to 17 months ago like I was
overweight my whole life like I had all
these big huge seemed like obstacles to
me at the time biggest one was myself
but I was so big but I always wanted to
be small like I used to dream I would
have like lucid dreams of me being
skinny and being fit and being active
and being able to do these things but it
seemed to me at the time that it was as
far away is like some people dream and
they could fly like it seemed like that
far-fetched like I was impossible and um
honestly I was doing this like more or
less out of just persistence out of
maybe even like a religious tradition to
where I was working out and I was eating
right and I was doing it for like six
months before I believed that I could
before I believed that it was ever gonna
make a difference there was some kind of
hope and me that if I just kept doing it
I kept doing it I kept doing that like I
was either gonna kill myself or like it
was gonna pay off corner the to because
like I was that determined and after
about five or six
I started noticing results like I
started seeing changes in my body I
started like my clothes started getting
bigger I was able to like do you know be
more active into things and once I
started seeing results and I started
believing in myself and believing that I
could I had to like I had to see how far
I could get because then you know this
was never about weight loss it was never
about me like oh I want to be like a
certain number me like whatever it was
never about weight loss it was always
about me finding the confidence with
myself to be able to achieve anything I
want to and you find that like the
possibilities are endless not just with
your health but with your job like the
dreams that you have for your life like
it's endless we always talked about if
you want to create that life for
yourself and we always talk about do
something today plant a seed today that
you would want to manifest maybe not
tomorrow maybe a week from now plant the
seed do something toils the ground break
up that hard ground do something today
that you want to manifest later so if
you want to land that dream job and when
we say dream job we're literally talking
about the dream that you had when you
was a child that many of us have given
up on which is the whole story of the
alchemists to recapture the dream right
many of us have given up on but do
something today that you want to
manifest tomorrow however how big or how
small it is whether is to go to the gym
for the first time whether it is to you
know write a song or start start writing
or you know if you want to write a book
many people have stories within them and
an inspiration that they want to give
out that they can help people but they
have to do something they have to put
that pen to the paper you know a lot of
times I actually heard a quote like you
know people who live their lives in fear
the disguise in its practicality like
this is just what normal people do like
we go to work a 9:00 to 5:00 and you
know they're afraid to take any shots or
they're afraid to like
any chance there any risks like that
their life like its practicality but
really they just call it practicality
it's just fear within themselves like
fear to you know go with an extra mile
or you know it doesn't matter what it is
like I said you know the no days off
boom it's not just about weight loss
like when I started with me it's not
like I'm gonna work out every day like a
no days off literally type thing
it's an idea it's a mindset that you get
within yourself that like no matter what
like if this is a passion something I'm
gonna pursue with my life a dream that
like you know I've had ever since I was
a kid or maybe just an aspiration to
follow follow your dreams or do
something you've never done before it
doesn't matter what it is like it's a
mindset to continually go after that and
not take no for an answer
you know I'm so tired of people just
like floating through life and letting
life do them and on something I've
learned man like I I'm hurt right you
know I feel defeats all the time like
there's stuff that I go through I have
my own inward battles but these battles
that are fighting I choose and you can
live your whole life and you can choose
what you heard for or you can just let
the whole world continue hurting you
what you do nothing about it um it's
definitely shows like empathy because
it's not just you if it was all just
about you and hey I'm this successful
guy now I'm all good I'm living the life
that I want to live I'm [Â __Â ] I'm
shedding the weight but you have this
burden to go back and help others right
and that that's a huge difference when
people have an awakening or they achieve
some type of goal we want to go back and
say hey this is how it this is how it
works like this worked for me this is
all I can give you I've tried in many
other ways I've tried thinking about it
I've tried praying about it all it's
good you have to think about you have to
pray about it but then you have to put
you have to put the work in you have to
put your hand to the plow and start
doing the work and life is is it is an
example in his experience and hard work
pays off it really does and I want to I
want to kind of go back
because we got a particular place now
but if we can go back and tell the story
because me and you met I want to say
maybe 2004 I may be a little early is
that Wow even yeah so me and me and drew
were are really big into the youth group
churches came up in youth ministry and
things like that and I did a essentially
Christian evangelism as a Christian
hip-hop artist and I and um saying did
that in the early years and and drew
played on the worship team and and he
did music and we we played in some bands
together and some Christian hardcore
metal bands and good stuff awesome
memories and a lot of this a heck of a
journey and then I think we had we maybe
had a fall out for a couple years and
and life happens and we we both took a
turn and I think when a couple years
later I got with you and you did the
church staying in ministry stuff for a
while and then next time I talked to you
you were taking trips back and forth
from Mobile Alabama to Atlanta partying
on the weekends and this was totally
unlike the drew that I like the church
guy who plays into in the worship band
and stuff like that so I don't know how
far you want to go into that I know you
said we wanted to be really candid and
and talk about some things tonight so
I'm gonna let you use the discretion
there but as far as you you you want to
go I'm willing to go with you man but
let's let's talk about you know what you
know where you are in in the youth group
and Church ministry and that whole
structure and then you can kind of set
the story up if you want yeah absolutely
so you know my wife and I actually met
in a Christian Bible College you know
our goal or life's intent was to you
know to help people really we ended up
getting really hurt by the church that
we're involved with and you know what
like looking back on it now it seems so
I mean like me maybe just
meaninglessly maybe just like like why
did it matter so much to me at the time
but that was the bubble that I was in
and sometimes like when your bubble
burst and that's all you have in life
like you don't know what to do before I
go too into this I want to kind of give
like a little precursor anything that I
talked about as far as like you know
we're gonna get in I'm gonna talk about
some addictions some things like this
and they go it's much farther than just
food or whatever but this is my story
I've actually thought about telling the
story many times I've actually thought
about how much do I really want to share
and the way that I look at it is like if
I've gone through a valley or have gone
through weakness or defeat in my life
and I'm able to speak about it now
because I've overcame certain situations
and if that helps somebody maybe where
they're at or where they were or
whatever it might be and I don't feel
like there's any mistakes I don't feel
like things happen just because and I
feel like if that were to help somebody
then it wouldn't be just in vain like I
wouldn't just done those things but
because I overcame because I'm allowed
to share my testimony now of the victor
that I have in my life not just with
addiction but with with everything
there's a lot of freedom that comes with
victory in your life but if somebody
else gets something from this then it's
all completely worth it well I'm gonna I
want to say this just to kind of back
you up right there we're seeing a lot of
victory in those areas by being open
with things that we've been told don't
let the world see your struggle don't
let them see your bad side don't let
them see the chinks in your armor and
things like that and you have to kind of
polish your story up make it presentable
and things like that but we've been
seeing a lot we've been covering a lot
of ground and a lot of people have been
responding by just being open to be ok
you were a Christian you were in the
youth group you were doing this you were
doing that whatever your story is and
not to make edits along the way but just
be open because that's what people are
resonated with and we've been seeing a
lot of awesome things with people
responding whether it was you know some
of the things that you're gonna talk
about but go ahead yes
getting back to that when me and there
could reconnected it was you know we we
had gotten hurt by a church like we were
believers to living with my my wife's
mom at the time we were in a really bad
place financially we feel like just we
felt like just like everything in our
lives were like falling apart at the
time I remember questioning God like you
know God if you're so great then why
would you let this happen and not only
did like I didn't want to be in ministry
after we got hurt by a church not only
did I not want to like you know do those
things that I once used to but I didn't
even want to be like a Christian anymore
like I felt at that point like man like
what is the point like this is not worth
it to me and I know this sounds so like
you know mediocre maybe childish to some
but that's where I was and I think every
week you know every person has their
weak moments when we were living with
her mother-in-law I had somebody in my
life that was not connected to at the
time very important to me and they had
reconnected to me and they were living
in Atlanta at the time and I remember
like it was so important for me because
I felt like I hadn't spent time with
this person and so long and I felt like
like this is it like I want a
relationship this person so bad um I
remember you know they did all they
could to connect with me and reach out
to me and like I want to help I got the
answer whatever like whatever it was and
I remember one weekend they came they
came down we were living in Alabama at
the time they picked us up and we went
to New Orleans for the weekend and I
just remember being so happy that like
we were even together because like this
person that's so much to me at the time
and it really didn't matter to me a you
know at that moment like what was going
on I was just happy to be there happy to
be in the presence and it was just was
just thankful like for the first time a
long time like it was something new to
me it was refreshing to be in the
presence and like talk to them and you
know
for somebody that was missing that out
of so much out of their life like for
you know so many years before it was it
was nice it was kind of a hope for me
personally on the inside but when we
went to New Orleans that night we were
introduced to it was it's called Molly
it's a street slang term for ecstasy the
way it was offered I'll never forget it
was like offered almost like an octopus
in the matrix but it was like something
that would completely change your life
if you just took a chance and tried and
I'll never forget that that night that
moment it was like I still look back on
it to this day and it was like
life-changing I remember it was just
like complete and utter rest I remember
like worries doubts fears everything
that I had held onto for those past few
years because I'd been hurt and I felt
like I was struggling so much with
everything that was in my life like all
these things that I was feeling just
like suddenly went away
and I felt completely loved with a
complete peace felt complete joy and I
felt so connected to everybody that was
around me I mean it was truly like
life-changing I mean it still to this
day I'll talk about it that way because
at the time that I felt like that was
you know I mean not necessarily what I
needed but that was what I needed to
feel in a sense of that make city yeah
yeah let me cut you off here though did
you feel that in church cuz I know I did
did you have those encounters in the
presence of God and things in church as
well but leading worship absolutely
absolutely I mean it was almost in the
same sense of spirituality when I talk
about complete peace complete joy I mean
as Christians we know I mean it comes
from the Holy Spirit like you know he
use her you lift over her head
but in the same sense like I got that
same feeling but it was different it
wasn't like you know you can you know
the difference between something that's
like through discernment something
that's real and something that's like
man-made or you know whatever it might
be but I definitely felt that growing up
I mean but this was different and when I
say different it wasn't like a good or a
bad different was just different but I
remembered it was like you know they say
you know scientists and whatever like
they say like it's not something that
you can be addicted to ecstasy or MDMA
I would HIGHLY highly disagree that
feeling or whatever that he might get
from that substance is definitely
something people would be addicted to
you know you might not be physically
addicted to it your body might not be
like craving it um but your mind
definitely will your body definitely
will because like that feeling is pretty
much whatever you can think like heaven
would feel like physically like that's
what it's like that experience it was so
great for me at the time just to not
have to feel you know the brokenness
that I was feeling I remember that night
we broke down like all these goals that
I had for my life like all these things
that I wanted to do and for once like I
liked it I could think clearly and I
wasn't bound by my own voices in my head
you know saying that I wasn't were there
I was a good enough for all these things
and I just just complete peace complete
rest like that whole night I will
continue probably to say the rest of my
life truly was a change for me so it's
crazy that it's very similar to the
church story yeah you know and in this
this euphoric encounter that you had at
life-changing I remember going having
church services
and writing down the goals right you
know and hey man I had this awesome
euphoric encounter with this presence
with this God and I'm gonna write down
these goals and make these changes to my
life and and it's so funny that it like
for some it would have the same impact
but the environment is totally different
and so me and you talked about this this
is one thing that I said I want you to
continue to story but I'm gonna go here
we talked about how when you I think you
were maybe still in the scene a little
bit when we were talking and I was
telling you about the drug scene and I
referred it back to the Christian
hardcore metal scene right because in
those scenes we had when we went to
shows we we did shows all over town and
we'd see kids there we'd see people
there kids is what you call people who
go to shows we'd see kids people there
and and we'd hang out and we were
friends at the show what's up dude oh
man
you were at the Norma Jean show oh yeah
you were at the under of so yeah and
when you go to the shows you see that
guy against that guy and you guys are
friends you may exchange numbers you
call every now and then hey you gonna be
at the solo show yeah man and you build
a friendship but it's only would you
come to find out if you're a part of
that scene and I talked about the church
scene you go to church and there's a guy
who stands by the door he shakes your
hand every Sunday he gives you a hug he
he tells you a joke you know and all
these peoples who sit behind you they
shake your hand they hug your neck you
may exchange numbers you talk a little
bit but only if you're part of that
scene the same thing with the drug scene
the NBA the MDMA scene and the rave
scene that those things don't think they
call them raves anymore but the EDM
scene is to say that and so those people
are your friends when you're there but
when you leave the scene the church
being the scene the hardcore Christian
metal scene the drug scene whatever
scene it is those people fall off
right and that's something to look about
like the reality is that okay are these
people really my friends cuz I'm
connecting with these people here and
like you said you want to believe that
the church people love me
the drug scene people I want to believe
that they're really my friends and
witness I love you dude drew - love you
man and I know you heard that time and
time again and you want to believe that
and I spit in me in the church I won't
totally want to believe when I would
have conversation with guys on the phone
Christian Brothers and they would say it
on the phone when we hung up hey bro I
love you and I'm like I'm on the other
end and I got to say I love you too man
but I had the I remember the first time
that happened to me and I had to think
about it do I really love this dude I do
love you man
and hang up and I found out when whether
my beliefs didn't line up to theirs or
whatever the case was they kicked me to
the curb I was no longer a part of that
scene right and that and that love that
I thought was there really wasn't man
and I know we talked about that when you
were going through that stuff but uh I
want you to just go just about just talk
a little bit about the acceptance part
because you were talking about how
you've been big your whole life and
you've had nightmares essentially of
being skinny and waking up still trapped
in your body and you would go to the
scene and they didn't care how big you
were they were hugging you hanging on
you men women and it was just they
accepted you for who you are talk a
little bit about that so after that
first experience like I said it was it
was like you have to do he did it once
and it was like you're hooked like just
a feeling of like not feeling however
you're feeling you know people don't do
drugs because they're addicted they do
drugs to escape their own reality the
drugs do escape their own pain or
whatever it might be
so we started making regular visits to
Atlanta where this person was it was in
my life at the time and the more and
more that we went the more and more you
know number one drugs that we were doing
but more experiences that we're having
this person was a resident DJ in Atlanta
so you know he was like top notch up
there like everybody knew who he was
amazing creative artist probably one of
the most creative people I've ever met
in my whole life
which is really sad in some ways because
of some of the decisions that he's made
but I will say the first time he took us
to a club you know they don't really
calm raves anymore I think that's a bad
precursor every you know bed text but
first time we went to a club we went to
a club called the quad in Atlanta and I
remember walking in and you know we had
taken Somali in the car on the way there
and we were walking in like it was all
like starting to you know hit me like a
ton of bricks and just like looking
around and like everybody there
it was probably like the most acceptance
I had felt in my life um there was not
one person there with negative anything
negative to say there's not one person
there with anything they get a feel
about themselves or about others the
connection that was there between the
people was amazing like you know it
didn't matter who it was it's like
everybody was here everybody compliments
everybody everybody how does love all
these things now granted this is all
drug-related and just like you were
talking about like with the shows and
with churches like you're seeing these
people and yeah love you bro lovely bro
um it's really just it's it's all
drug-related like you know everybody
there you were the minority there if
you're not on drugs I remember actually
one of the cases we were at a club and
this girl came up to me and she goes
what is wrong with everybody here and I
looked at her and I was like go ask
around for about five minutes she came
back to me an hour later and she was
like rolling so hard that her teeth were
grinding she thank you so much and I
just remember like at the time I was
like yeah I did something good you don't
I mean but looking at God now I was like
and
one of the things that I've gone through
I've been through in my life you know
it's hard for me to talk about it really
is out of respect for my parents because
I love them yeah
but like I said it before I think by
sharing the stories that have happened
the stuff that I've gone through I
because there's not you know the stories
that I'm telling like I'm gonna share
the end of this and it doesn't end up
well yeah you know there is no like
bright light at the end of this tunnel
because when we make choices like this
we go after these things that are
completely meaningless for our own
selfish pleasure telling pleasure it's
like it never turns out good to make a
very very long story short I will sum it
up and say probably for the next year
and a half we were making these trips to
Atlanta probably every weekend we were
doing these drugs and it didn't stop it
MDMA it didn't stop like you know yeah
we gotta understand DNA but you know you
want to talk about a checklist like
these checklists were being tricked
pretty much periodically it's not
something that I can look back out and
be at all proud of you know it's not
something that I regret I don't like
anything happens for you know any
reasons I feel like there's good that
can come out of everything yeah but I
will say that I wasted a lot of time in
my life um time that I could have spent
on others that I could have spent on
myself I bury myself and going after the
thing is that I really want it's at the
time that what was in front of me and
then you know it seemed like it meant so
much more like it was you know so days
to me at the time I look back on it now
it was just just me and let's just you
know talk about you know the night after
or the day after the days after because
when you have in this awesome encounter
and it seems beautiful work it almost
seems like we're promoting it they're
like I want to be connected I feel like
I'm in touch with everyone that people
love me I'm well I'm a try it people are
thinking this right but talk a little
bit about the next day's because
essentially what has happening you're
getting a rush
of dopamine or rush of serotonin all the
inhibitors in your body that respond to
pleasure they're all being infiltrated
and being shot with dopamine instantly
so yeah you feel like oh the things that
you have to work for and do in your life
that they give you that that natural
dopamine right it's released throughout
our body in our brain all that come
naturally you're getting a rush of it
and then the next day you're burnt out
your emotions are all out of whack it's
hard to respond to conversations it's
hard to to feel to move on talk a little
bit about the crash that comes the next
day after a night like that yeah
definitely you're talking about like
instant gratification like that's what
it is but your body doesn't produce that
as quick as you're using it when you're
using as absolute drugs the crash is
probably two to three days alone when I
say crash like I'm talking about muscle
spasms muscle aches you you're not being
able to like think clearly or focus
really on anything and you just it's
like a three-day long hangover like one
of the worst hangover you've ever had
and then the depression that comes along
with that is it's unspeakable
you know dopamine serotonin all these
things that are inside your body those
are the things that like naturally help
you overcome those types of aliens and
when they're depleted there's no way to
overcome those feelings so you know I
remember the depression being so bad it
was almost like debilitating like you I
mean some days anymore to get out of bed
and the crazy thing was is like after
that like after all that happened the
next weekend I wanted to do it again and
it mattered to me the price that was
paying or what the price of my body was
paying because that instant
gratification at the time seemed so
important it's the instant gratification
that's that's with everything and that's
totally what what drugs do right you get
you get an instant boost and
you're supposed to work for that like
that almost the dopamine is like a
reward system for the body
I do good I feel good I workout you know
like it's like I told you earlier man
like you have inspired me to start
working out again I started losing
control especially with my driving job
that I had man slammin cheeseburgers for
breakfast lunch and dinner dude like it
was getting bad dude and and I and you
know my weight started getting away from
me and to see the transformation that
you made and you weighing in around 205
or something I'm like wow he's closing
in I can see to 40 to 60 to 70 I he's
he's up there
well you closing in on me drew bro you
were close to 400 pounds and you get
you're getting you're closing it man I'm
right there with you
so I said look man I can't like I got it
I got it you know I gotta use this as
motivation man to get back and do it
with you man and uh and get back in the
gym me and my family so I got in the gym
today
and I felt like crap I had a bad
migraine all morning like all morning
and I was gonna use it as the excuse not
to go like you it was a bad man I was
getting dizzy
getting a weird dizzy spells but um I
went anyway
and you had just put out a video a vlog
about when you don't feel like it
do it anyway that's when you need to do
it when you don't feel like it when you
have the excuses do it anyway and uh man
right now I like my body feels great and
I say that to talk about the reward
system like putting in that work getting
on that that bike lifting the weights
like my body is rewarding me with this
this this feeling man with my whole body
feels good drinking water eating a
healthy man it comes with a price
obviously when we looking at the food
issue the food instant gratification do
you know how to slam a water burger
patty melt at freaking 8 a.m. and frozen
a huge dr. pepper the drinks are getting
bigger every day
but dude like the instant gratification
but the weight that comes with it after
like the weight of like what did I just
do
it's 8 o'clock in the morning and I'm
stopping at freaking water burger and
then I do it again at 2:30 like crazy
stuff man you know but it's the instant
gratification but hard work pays off and
that is totally the key the secret to
the secret man about everything that
we're talking about yeah definitely I
I'm right there with you with the whole
slammin cheeseburgers bro I remember
looking back and it not even being like
a big deal for me to go when I would go
get like I wouldn't say get a meal I
would go through a drive-thru and get a
bag full mmm
what come on eat the whole thing and
that was my life for years and years
like drinking I was six you know
six-pack of coke a day and no no second
thought or no care in the world about it
and at the time wondering why I had all
these body you know body issues and my
blood pressure was high and I was
borderline diabetic and I was always
dizzy and always had muscle cramps
muscle spasms and was always tired like
that I remember like that being probably
the biggest thing in my life I was
always tired and always like Lexi
basically yeah what probably one of the
easiest people you would ever met in
your life and that instant gratification
that's not worth it ever there's so many
things that kind of go along with that
but where I'm at now like it's not even
now wouldn't say it's not like a
temptation I mean you know as far as
like food and things like that go
because you know obviously food tastes
good but there are bigger things in our
lives that create us to be like you know
who we are today there were reasons that
you know me growing up the way that I
did
I had an attachment to food like that to
share like a brief story when I was a
kid I remember we had financial issues
my dad was out of work he was on workers
comp for a long time and I remember like
us not being able to put food on the
table I remember being so bad like some
weeks my brother and I would count
food in the freezer mm-hmm to make sure
we had enough meals to get to the next
week and it was funny because we knew
exactly when my dad got paid and sue the
otter pay we knew we were getting fed so
when we got to go eat like we went they
like you know what I mean and I remember
like that being you know like a huge
thing to look forward to like wow I get
to eat like yeah let's kill it um which
ended up being really really bad for me
later on in life and I don't blame
anybody like my parents did the best I
could and I'm thankful for them but
everybody has hard you know issues that
they deal with in life and me attached
myself to food in that way I think was
just the way for me to cope with
everything else that I was feeling
anxiety depression all those things that
people deal with I really really
struggle with growing up and that was
what I turned through I turned to food
and it would calm me down it would kind
of make me relaxed make me feel better
about myself about everything else that
was going on in my life so to get back
to the you know the realm that you were
in the drug scene how did you get out of
it really just by choice I remember we
had moved we had finally got in our own
place and we had the opportunity to move
from where we were in Alabama to Chicago
my parents live in Chicago and a door
came open for us to make that move and
without thinking about it I knew it was
something that I had to do it wasn't me
running from my problems but it was me
separating myself from certain
situations giving up I'm walking away
her like never the same thing and I
didn't either one of those like I made a
conscious effort for me to change
everything about my life um there was a
lot that went on with that with that
relationship that I was telling you
about but it's funny because we talked
about you know when you're in that scene
you're part of that scene and when I
stopped being a client for this person
that relationship by the way as well
uh-huh so which is you know it's funny
to even talk about
right now yeah I have nothing but love
and compassion you know for this this
person in mind let's go back to where I
come into the picture before we move to
foot forward from from Chicago and
everything I come into the picture we
started you called me up apologizing
over some things that were said and just
over the years and we reconnected and I
apologized too and we we had a
come-to-jesus moment right and and so
with that being said I was doing prayer
meetings and Bible studies at the time
invited you to one and we and we were
talking every day you were working as a
bug guy a exterminator and and I was
driving a truck for a living and we we'd
talk and you'd fill me in on these
stories so I know these stories I know
where you were I know I know the details
and I was I was really big in the
spirituality is it was really big for me
Kundalini Yoga and breath work and and
achieving heightened states of
consciousness through holotropic
breathing but you would tell me about
these stories of trying psilocybin
mushrooms and and things like that some
some natural substances while you were
going to Atlanta and trying like you
said a little bit of everything and I
kind of did it all when you went in you
went really deep and you went all the
way and so I would talk about the
psilocybin I would talk about the the
natural ways to achieve these states and
you would tell me about the mushrooms
and about the ayahuasca and stuff like
that we would just have conversations
about it and and I kind it was at a time
where I was kind of like my thing was I
don't need those those substances or
whatever to achieve those states because
I'm spiritually advanced enough to go
into myself and do holotropic breathing
or have out-of-body experiences through
meditation and achieve those states and
you were telling me about some of your
experiences and then just so happened at
the same time I had been listening to a
lot of Joe Rogan and Aubry Marcus and
some of these people who talked about
Iowa
and talk about psilocybin in their
encounters and so my intrigue started to
peak even more of and I just I dedicated
myself to studying psilocybin mushrooms
and listening to hours of McKenna hours
of amber Lyon who is doing like the
scientific research about how psilocybin
mushrooms are helping people overcome
the fear of death cancer patients
overcoming the fear of death people
breaking addictions by having this this
journey into the light through
psilocybin mushrooms which were we find
out used by our ancestors used by the
indigenous cultures as a rite of passage
for all the young men to do and I just
became infatuated with it talking to you
and still kind of scary scared to do
that because I come from a drug scene as
well and I and it was bad like I was
into you know I was in the woods crafts
and things like that mixing it with
drugs and and I've seen some demonic
entities form and that scared me and I
in as a Christian as a believer now that
I'm in the light I didn't want to do
anything to open that floodgate back I
didn't want to give anything the
permission to take my mind away again
because I literally years ago had demons
in my head and uh messing with me and
talking to me and trying to pull my
spirit on my body and just crazy stuff
so I didn't want that to happen but I
but all the research I was doing was all
beautiful things changing people's lives
and stuff but so there was this intrigue
there and then I would talk to you about
your experiences and how you you talking
about how it's a journey but even in the
drug scene you were talking about how
even the psilocybin is something natural
the mushrooms were something natural
that helped you overcome fear to help
you look at yourself objectively from a
loving standpoint and this was some
things that we just begin to talk about
and so I want it to do it until you
talked about having an encounter and for
some reason I don't know but what stuck
in my head that it was with mushrooms
but
come to find out you you mixed a bunch
of stuff together and you mentioned
having this encounter where you
essentially wrestled a serpent like a
Python spirit wrapped around you you did
ketamine a lot of other things that you
mixed one night and psilocybin was but
you mix acid and everything together but
you talked about this serpent wrapping
around your body and when you would
breathe in
it would constrict a little bit more and
you couldn't get the air that was let
out and you said you fought that thing
for eight hours and so all of my
research is studying and getting brave
to want to try it you told me that and I
was like nope I'm not giving my mind
over to that I'm not fighting no spirit
like that for eight hours man talk a
little bit about that that Kate that
that instance and like I said it wasn't
suicide it wasn't just pure psilocybin
and you mixed everything talked a little
bit about that experience man so
definitely was back to one of those
Atlanta trips it was a surprise birthday
party for me that same scene that we
were talking about I think maybe 40
people showed up to this pool party that
was thrown for me that night and of
course it being my birthday everybody
had the bright idea to try to give me
the best time ever and I don't I can't
tell you how many or what I took that
night but I know it kept getting offered
over and over and over I know I did do
mushrooms at night and with it being so
much altogether you know mushrooms in
its in its own entity in its own self is
a very pure spiritual substance I'm not
condoning this in any way but I will
tell you this like if you're on it
Jeremy to search and find something
spiritually mushrooms will help like
psilocybin mushrooms will even when a
journey looking for something you're
gonna find it because you have to face
all your fears and all the stuff that
you think matters in your life and
although you know where you some doubts
everything that's in your heart the
stuff that you're holding back here you
have to face every one of the
before you're actually find freedom on a
journey like that mm-hmm but it's not
something be mixed with anything it's
not something to go out and take and get
high and have morning time no it's not
it is not it is not it was not a party
drug you know even shamans and you know
people in the indian culture they take
that it is a rite of passage for manhood
it's something that's taken with the
right heart almost like Christians
taking communion it is taken with the
right heart going in and prepared for
the version of yourself that you're
gonna be when you come out of it and I
remember that night vividly I'll never
forget the fear the horror the complete
pain that I felt spiritually and
physically like I was gonna die
that you know you were talking about
like the serpent like you know I don't
know if it was a serpent or it was just
this heaviness of this presence that I
felt and it was like on top of me
and every time like I would breathe like
it would it would contract a little bit
more um almost to the point where I was
like gasping for air like when you get
the you know the wind knocked out of you
mm-hmm and I remember having like the
most horrible thoughts like you know
there's some of the craziness that I was
thinking that night like this was all a
setup everybody around me was like UFOs
and I mean just you know really stuff
that like is off-the-wall stuff that's
not normal it's not not healthy it's
nothing that I would ever condone and I
know now looking back on that and I even
think I after I told you that story I
even told you like yeah I know where I
messed up like I mixed all these things
and there are certain things that I feel
like are on their own right in its own
way pure and you know no matter what we
think or opinions about certain things
are like it's our culture um yes
and mushrooms they're a drug they're
against the law I don't condone them at
all but I will say if it wasn't our
culture and say we were in another
culture and it was something that was
normal no alcohol and other cultures is
not normal you know cigarettes and other
cultures are not normal like that's
something off the wall so the way that
we look at this might not be you know I
mean like that's just our culture that's
who we are
so I will say like the biggest thing
that you can do as the person has to
keep an open mind because it's not once
you close your mind you start putting
others on trial and judgment for the
decisions that they make your box to
reach people gets smaller and smaller
and smaller I've told this story many
times so I want to hear your version of
it and hear what it meant to you but so
I can safely say that my relationship
with you and you coming out of the drug
scene and and everything my relationship
with you that I did I tried mushrooms
with you for the first time I've only
done I'm a couple times in there and
they've been through a point of let's
see let you know let's learn I mean
there were there was fasting there was
prayer there was self-realization weeks
and days beforehand there was an
expectation there to go in and deal with
some trauma and things like that and
learn from the spirit right so even
going into the first time my
expectations were high but we took a
trip to Louisiana and I'll just started
off with there and you you tell that
that men's trip that we took and where
we when you can you know kind of set
that up so I remember we actually talked
about this for weeks
yeah I mean before about the idea it was
a of like a float deprivation take the
idea of your body being pretty much like
on water you know if you're only in like
three or four inches of water but your
body is kind of like elevated on top of
the water and the water is at like your
your body degree
it's super super dense so you pretty
much just float on like three to four
inches of water and it's completely
concealed so you can't see anything what
happens in that type of situation is
like your sensory deprivation like your
touch or feel you know just all that
kind of stuff kind of like let's go and
you're almost put into a dream state to
where the one that's really conscious
within you is like your mind people have
had all kinds of visions through it
people have you know seeing patterns of
sacred geometry all these things that
you would normally experience for a
second I'd like people see this
naturally just by having this experience
I remember we took a trip and we went
and did that and with Dan and we loved
it it was a great time and so we had
started talking about like we didn't
want to do it again and I remember the
idea that thought came up hey we should
we should try and mushrooms and do it
this time and um I remember going with
the right intent and then you know I we
had we had people on that trip with us
but me and you I think we're really
really on page that first time you know
we're on the same page like we knew like
it was gonna be a journey I think we
even like you know kind of had like a
time within ourselves before we even did
it like we knew it was about to happen
mm-hmm and I remember I remember so much
about that night but I remember that
night being really really life-changing
talk about setting up New Orleans like
like what we did first when we got into
the city oh yeah yeah so we did we went
to a Reiki healing session with dr. Jess
which if amazing she actually gave me a
shout out today she's amazing but we did
a Reiki healing session which is pretty
much like you letting go of everything
that you're dealing with like you walked
into a room one way you go through a
session like this and your walk
out of the room a completely different
way if you allow yourself to some of the
greatest things in our life or things
that we need to give up anyway but I
remember we did that and you know to me
I went in like you know people here like
Reiki healing or yoga or holotropic
breathing and they hear all these like
things and immediately like they put
those things on judgment because they
don't understand them some of the
biggest like amazing things in our life
for things that we don't understand but
if we try to wrap her head around it and
I would put a little effort into into
understanding it he'll make a lot of
difference in your life and I don't know
it was an amazing session and we walked
out and I remember just feeling
completely light like you know I walked
in with burdens fear whatever it might
be whatever you want to call it and I
walked out a completely different way we
went to this place in New Orleans and it
was something that was built it was a
park area that was built right after
Hurricane Katrina and it was just this
big long winding road and I forget the
name of it but it had a certain name and
a certain meaning there pretty much
there was a sign out there that said
it's this is a promise that the people
of New Orleans will one day rebuild and
you know one day succeed again and I
thought that was amazing and later on
that night actually it was during the
experience you were looking at a book
and the book had the same picture of the
park that we were just at that day
you're in an umbrella you know of course
to us at the time it was like yeah it
was labyrinth it was a meditation walk
and it was uh like almost like this
spiral grid and you walk it and meditate
and that when you get to the end you
know whatever you want to let go you you
do it by the end yeah those are really
amazing
ix like a really amazing experience in
itself and you know one story I hate
about that night probably the biggest
thing I can remember one of the most
profound and thought-provoking things
all night I remember we were both like
spitting knowledge like we were sharing
with each other like how we felt like we
were deep into this journey that night
and I remember we walked outside for a
minute and we walked back in and when we
walk back in there was us there was a
door-to-door hallway it was like a short
little five-foot hallway and it was
closed off my two doors but in that
hallway was a huge wall length mirror
and I remember we walked in front of the
mirror and I looked at it you looked at
it we just stood there for a minute
and you were like what do you see and at
the time like you know if I came in my
head I liked it oh god he's seeing stuff
like okay you know I supposed to see you
right now
well that's when you weren't that's when
you were right under 402 yeah I was
almost 400 pounds yeah yeah 388 pounds
and I'm I looked in the mirror and I was
like what do you mean what do I see and
you're like I remember you said it in
like a really you know like a really
like loving and caring way it was you
know and of course at the time I felt
like so much more connected but you were
like not what I see or not what you
think you see what do you see and I
remember the first thing I came to mind
like I did have to think about it
and all I said was I wish the outside of
me looked the way that I feel right now
on the inside that's all I said the
conversation didn't keep going like I
mean we ended probably talking about
something else
how do you remember that I remember that
moment because it was very
thought-provoking for me at the time and
it's funny because a little things in
life that we passed off as like my new
are gonna be the big thing this later on
another of when you look back like the
memories that you're making right now
like the things that you're doing the
choices that you're making like those
give me the things that like your
memories are when you know in the future
and even though I was four pounds and
all these things like you know I didn't
change my life and they say it wasn't
life changing but looking back on that
that was like you know found for me at
the time for me to even say that because
I wasn't one of those people and
everything would you know it was a
relation to because we were talking
about that and then we were talking
about how many people go out at night
and on the outside there are dime piece
they're the most beautiful person in the
club but on the inside they're dying
right and so they kind of masked the
outside to kind of hide what's going on
on the inside and I was like well drew
for you this is the opposite right now
because you on the inside or one of the
most beautiful people and you were
talking about how on the outside you
didn't like the appearance and we kind
of correlated that in which is so
profound you know it was probably like I
was a top five probably one of the most
thought-provoking things I even looked
back to this day and the mirror only
accredit
I probably accredit my weight loss in
the transformation the journey you know
some of that to to that night yeah well
there was there was there was there was
that and that that was a big one and in
fact for you got to her fans of the
music they were talking and he was just
blowing my mind with just man just being
so philosophical about about life and
about about the now moment and accepting
yourself and in love I pulled out my
cell phone I was like wait a minute
say it again and I recorded him saying I
wanted to try to bring it with me man
cuz it's kind of some of that stuff is
slippery when you're in those states so
I said okay let's record this and it
said again so I recorded it and then put
it away and I sent it to Drew maybe a
week or two later he's like dude don't
show nobody that you know and it wasn't
because of the drugs or what you were
saying it was because of the weight
usually don't you know that's a bad
angle you didn't want nobody to see it
so and then we were talking about
collaborating on some stuff on my album
333 could you do poetry and you play
music and stuff and I was like don't
worry man I got something we'll do
something and I wanted to surprise you
because I took that audio and I put it
at the end of my song the imagine Atrix
and it's just beautiful people have had
life-changing encounters from that song
from that album and listening to that
and most people don't know who it is at
the very end but that was captured man
so we can go back and like relive it as
we hear that you know you dropping that
knowledge man like four years ago maybe
now and just so it was it was so
beautiful for you so beautiful for me
life-changing experience I still have a
notepad that I that I pulled out a piece
of paper and started writing down this
stuff that with information that was
coming to me on on on the psilocybin
mushrooms and being at the flow tank
experience and hanging with you and it
was like it was so powerful that I had
to cut the short the flow tank
experience short and I got out I said I
got to write this stuff down I gotta
start writing since I got out draw it
off and everything and I just started
writing down because like it was a place
that I went to of like I said like
almost like God talking to you from a
loving place even about your flaws
because you got to deal with your flaws
but he's dealing with your flaws he's
telling you how to overcome them and
giving you steps and I will sit writing
down steps do this do that do this and
there's a picture of me and I'm gonna
put that in the show notes I'm gonna put
whatever pictures and stuff that we have
from a couple of these experiences I'll
put them in the show notes so you guys
can kind of see that but it was just a
picture of me just writing that stuff
down and this was like I said about four
years ago and that still folded up in my
wallet right now but the crazy thing is
when we're talking about alchemy we name
the show the magic of the alchemists
true hallucinations and so this is
something that we went into that realm
got a vision about ourselves about the
future looking at ourselves objectively
without without fear
what with love and grace on how to do it
communing with the creator of the
universe whatever you think that is
right and it was a loving thing and and
some of the things that came out I
remember and I'll just share my little
part that in that particular instance
after seeing it after
visit dr. Jess and seeing her healing
people doing it for a living doing what
she loves for a living and essentially I
love to heal people whether it's through
my music
whether it's through prayer we believe
in the power of prayer the power of
spoken word laying on of hands and we've
seen many miracles in our lives right I
wanted to do that and I had this
overwhelming urge to be a healer and uh
and I was wrestling with God like I
wanna I want to do that in guys like
yeah you should but you already are a
healer and they begin to show me how my
music heals and how I heal through
friendship and sauce and so I've shown
that and and and even in faith how the
Scriptures define faith is calling the
things that are not as though they were
already and and God showed me through
faith how to embrace that and say you're
not going to be a healer you already are
and begin again begin to give me the
revelation on how I was so what I want
to do it for living us so I want you to
do it for a living really okay and it
start giving me you got to do this you
got to do that and you got to take care
of these two things that you're doing
you got to take care of that and I'm
gonna teach you how to do it I'm gonna
give you grace to do it in us I mean
life-changing encounters man people
don't want the examples I'm sitting here
reading in the in the in the chatroom
and people are saying if Jesus was
enough you wouldn't need that you know
but we're we're encountering Jesus which
is I think we can I like to maybe this
is too simple for some deep minded
theologians but I think Jesus is love
made manifest whatever you think love to
be pure undefiled love made manifest
into a person and so I believe we were
communing with that that night that that
presence that we've known from little
kids in church to doing psilocybin
mushrooms at a floating center communing
with that power man and uh it changed my
life and then there's so there was that
those two things happened the float tank
experience and the Reiki thing for me we
we left changed 100% and and I saw and
within the coming months I started doing
it I started getting booked people
started coming out the woodwork wanting
private sessions with me to do faith
healing to do Reiki over the internet
and change people like addictions as the
people were dealing with addictions and
stuff and and booking me for private
sessions and it got overwhelming like
out the blue like before we went there I
had no there was no way and even
afterwards I would still like how is
this possible how is this person who can
sometimes barely formulate a sentence
going to be able to do this in something
who looks the way I do or whatever and I
had all types of things and that's what
we all do we have we all have the
reasons not to do it and this is why you
can't but we have to push back past that
and stand upon the promise okay I
believe the voice that told me that
empowered me to do it and I begin to see
manifestation in my life through after
the psilocybin encounter and the
floating experience and then there was a
book that I read that took it to a whole
nother level like it it it magnified the
experience month months later and that
that book was the alchemist and I read
it blew my mind
I said drew you got to read it drew read
Drew read it in like three day he was so
fast man and uh and we both came to the
same conclusion and that book is a
magical book and when you read it you
cannot you you won't feel fulfilled not
pursuing your dreams as you read that
book you will you will begin to to see
that you know the dreams and the things
that you've wanted to do even as a kid
those dreams come back while reading
that book and shows you that when you
agree with God that okay God you put
these dreams in me and I'm not gonna
give up on them I'm gonna fight for them
because you give them to me and you find
out that when you do that the universe
shifts and fights we
you not against you but fights for you
as the Bible says many many many times
over and over that God fights for you
not against you talk a little bit about
leaving that experienced man of what it
did for you and in your perspective of
The Alchemist yeah definitely you know
it really changed my life changed my
outlook you know like he talks about it
opens Lina my eyes so many more
possibilities that were there in my life
that I didn't see before because I was
so focused on myself you know we are
very very selfish people you know the
best way you know people I I've turned
people on to the book The Alchemist you
know many times and they're always
what's it about
you know and the best way that I can
possibly describe is the it's about
finding yourself while you're trying to
find yourself you know I think
Christians are one of the biggest people
that struggle to find their own identity
yeah well Who am I in Christ what are my
gifts you know wait how can I be in the
will of God how can I do all these
things you know what it's really really
simple to be in God's will to know that
you're in God's will is to do guys a
little just do it like you know there's
something in your heart you want to be a
blessing you want to help people just do
it and that's how you know you're gonna
be in God's well you know I mean like to
be in Christ just to be christ-like and
ya couldn't have it any other way you
know what though it pushes the doctrine
to the side the doctrine have we we have
seen in many circles that that separate
us this is the way it is we don't
believe that we believe this okay these
people are wrong these people are wrong
to really understand who Christ is in us
which is the hope of glory right in the
manifestation of Christ out of us is the
manifestation of that glory to the world
and so to simply stop arguing and start
doing what Jesus said to do if Jesus
showed grace and mercy
and empathy towards people then we do it
right and that's fulfilling the Great
Commission and that's that's what we
begin to do there was a like leaving
that it's like you you want to see
people healed man like you want people
to experience the same encounter that
you know I'm saying that you did so talk
a little bit about how we have another
journey we'll go into in a little bit
but talk a little bit about how after
having the psilocybin encounter spend
the time with God in that realm and then
reading The Alchemist how like what did
it do inside of you as far as seeing the
skinny drew that that tormented you and
inured or kind of played with you almost
like this Peter Pan figure who would
come and then leave in the middle of the
night and mess with you like how did you
capture that inch and chase that how did
the psilocybin and how did the alchemist
help well you know we talk about like
complete peace complete love complete
joy link you know all these things that
I was feeling was something that was
brand-new to me like you know even being
I guess like any Christian faith like
you know we find so much judgment from
other people we've had so much judgment
from whatever it might be you know you
have tattoos I have gauges like wow you
know what I mean there's judgment that
comes with what people don't think is
Christ or crap Iceland you know I think
the like that experience that book gave
me different eyes to see other people I
remember walking away you know like you
said wanting other people to feel this
same weather I felt because I knew it
was possible you know even now like
where I've come from and the weight loss
and all these things like I would never
you know there's people you hear stories
I know people that have lost a ton of
weight and you know you think you would
be completely humble coming from a
humble place a place of brokenness like
man how was there and you don't have to
live like that and like there is so much
better out there for you I promise there
is if you just try if you just go after
but there's people out there that have
gone the other direction that have you
know whatever they want to call it like
fat chains other people or
made fun of other people like how could
you ever like how dare you you know we
are all but sinners saved by grace
so even us as Christians how dare you
put somebody on trial
you know if we're to be christ-like we
were to come from a place of love a
place of grace for by grace we were
saved through faith not of works lest no
one can boast you guys is combined grace
completely it's a free gift and then
it's freedom to some Christians because
Christians don't believe that they
believe it's not like you know oh you
say a prayer and you're saved and like
it's not that easy you've got a little
bit of a life a certain way you know
what you don't I promise you don't by
grace were saved and I'm you know I know
I'm kind of rambling at this point but I
wanted to I I feel like that needs to be
pushed home yeah for me because I have
found so much freedom in that myself
some of the valleys the poorest parts of
my life that I've walked through is by
grace alone that I'm still here today
mm-hmm I know it's completely God like I
know God has so much better already she
already yeah in that place but he's
brought me from through the alchemist
and the things that God brought me to
since then it's open my eyes and opened
doors and I never thought would be open
for me and I'm just gonna I'm just gonna
pull from the from the chat room a
little bit right now yeah there's some
there's some people who were talking
about like it doesn't mix together and
there's so many there's so many
Christians that's why that's why this
show was so important and so empowering
from if you've seen my inbox drew if
you've seen that the Christians who who
step out and commend me for talking
about this stuff because it that there
is a persecution as I old I mean there
was even I told you a couple weeks ago
somebody wanted me to do a church show
and they put my name on the flier and
they were gonna shut it down if I showed
up you know I say Church so it's a
Christian concert but it was outside at
a park and in the people who oversee the
party line if true seeker comes were
shutting this down there's no way he he
goes out give him mushrooms to people
telling people Jesus loves them which
that's what that's I guess the renowned
from coming in and being open but if I
was to show you the Inbox
of all the people that commend me and
they say I wish I could be as open as
you and and that's what we do we empower
people to what be themselves don't be me
don't be Drew don't try to be somebody
else be the person that God made you oh
you like that stuff for a reason okay
well you could be into that
it's okay so I want to talk a little bit
about because we've done many shows on
this about like that doesn't even a
church in Alabama that is a they used
the sacraments of psilocybin and peyote
and ayahuasca all things that are
natural that grow from the earth God's
green earth amen they use it in
sacrament for religious ceremonies as
did their ancestors right but in the
church realm this isn't to be played
with at all this is that you don't think
they like to call this sorcery they call
it a form akia they call it they got all
kind of names from it and they tell you
not to mess with it at all because you
can open up your mind to demons that's
why I didn't want to mess with it you
telling me your stories and and ain't
coming from that realm in having you
know being having a warning it's not a
party drug it's not even a drug I don't
like I don't mix those terms together
psilocybin it's a sacrament and it was
used by our ancestors as a rite of
passage and wanting to spend time with
the Creator so here's the here's the
thing Dan asked a Pinsky a good friend
of ours he went on the on the first
floating trip with us I had him on the
show in man you guys got to go back and
listen that show it's one of the
highest-rated shows I've done so much
truth in that episode but he talks about
how nobody can kick you out of the club
they didn't bring you into the club in
the club with club of grace essentially
right the grace that Christ has called
you to
so Christians can't do mushrooms
Christians can't smoke marijuana
Christians can't have a beer right these
these rules that that are not in the
Bible but we've made them
in the church around the end of religion
these rules that we've made up talk a
little bit about that because the next
encounter that we have we had a blissful
encounter you know at the flow tank it
was beautiful
philosophical the next time we got
together to search our hearts and it was
a good year and a half almost two years
later we did it again and who had a
men's retreat my mind was blown
taking the new new levels even with that
revelation that God had given me took
him to new levels but we were listening
first of all we were listening some what
is that are good for me by above and
beyond which you turned me on to that
and that I can't listen to that music
without reliving so I try not to do it I
try not to do it often yes there I'm
saying it we're not when I need it I'll
go back and listen to that song and I'll
be taken right back and everybody who we
was with they they have the same
testimony but for the most part we were
listening to Bethel it was so he this is
what you get a bunch of Christians in a
cabin in the woods eating psilocybin
mushrooms talking to God fasting and
listening to Bethel worship music and
hasn't praying crying out to God
thanking God and the beauty that
surrounded that experience so Christians
can't do this Christians shouldn't do
this first of all we're not we're not
encouraging anybody to do anything but
we are owning our story right and nobody
can take that away from us talk a little
bit about that I mean it's important
that you say that like in no way do we
condone any of this this is our past I'm
just not afraid to talk about it yeah
well so many people have gone through so
much and there's a dirty mess in their
past bro I'm not afraid to talk about it
because like I said if my past could
bring freedom to some somebodies present
it was completely worth it the valleys
the struggles that I walk through and
I'm you know what I ever doing it again
probably not like whatever I put myself
in those situations again probably not
yeah
I have one of those situations and so
you know by doing that I feel like
there's a lot to be to be learned from
that for me you know from where I was to
where I am and even where I'm going in
life those experiences made me every
part of this journey has brought me you
know some kind of new understanding
through it um yeah so the the cabin
experience I remember you know after
that first experience it was amazing I
think you kind of thought of yourself as
a buff after that you kind of you know
understood that whole situation that
scene well I thought I knew you thought
you kind of thought you understood I
thought I knew man if my memory strikes
me correctly you were in the middle of
writing 333 and I remember you you had
told me to prep you had written a song
the song was called golden teachers for
anybody that doesn't know so psilocybin
mushrooms have many strands just like
marijuana and there's a certain strand
called golden teachers it was actually
one of terence mckenna's favorites so
and the guys out there that I really
knew those skate guys can do your
research but that was his favorite it
was called the golden teachers he felt
like he learned the most out of that he
would do a hero dose which is 5 grams or
more of golden teachers and that was
what he pretty much based on this
knowledge and experiences off of was
dueling goals and teachers and I
remember Derek Hewitt told me you know
through one of our many conversations we
had daily you were like yeah I'm right
the song's called the teachers right and
all about it that and I remember I even
stopped you in your tracks of like hang
on bro it's like he why are you writing
a song about you've never done them
before they've never experienced it
you're like well it's it's it's like
this and it's like though you know way
it was before those what no like I was
like you know we I think I think from
then on like we started planning this
this this little trip but I was still
scared because excited was more intense
but I didn't I didn't know it was yeah
so you know and I think I even tried to
repay you a little bit more for yeah you
didn't
as far as for what to expect but with
this one we went out to the woods
wait a few brothers of ours which you
know are amazing to this day mm-hmm I
remember with full intent with full
purity in our hearts we wanted to go on
this journey and find out whatever guy
was trying to teach us whatever guy was
trying to show us for our life
I guess so many times like I said we get
it wrapped up in the selfishness of like
who we are like our day to day or 9:00
to 5:00 like this is so important no
this is so important that our mind and
our bodies are like just all over the
place but we went into this with so much
intent to like bring something out of
just the brokenness every we know where
we're at in life my god like whatever
you want to show us like show us and I
remember we fasted like we prayed it you
know like prayed before like and now we
partook and I don't know if you want to
share from there but um I don't know I
don't know how much I need cuz I went in
I went in to that story on many
occasions you know I actually did a full
breakdown on the song golden teachers or
I break down lyric for lyrics so if you
guys want to hear that in its entirety
but totally changed my paradigm I've met
I feel like I met this angelic these
angelic beings who I refer to as the
golden teachers and it totally rocked my
world totally took me to a whole a whole
deeper place of understanding about Who
I am about my music about you know where
I'm where I'm headed things like that
and it became a lot more real to me
because uh you know I talked about going
into the astral realm gazing into the
star systems and having these euphoric
encounters with God and I described them
I go above and beyond because I try to
describe the feelings the sensations and
the emotions that I feel of encountering
God and going into those states of the
Holy Spirit and you for your meditation
and and they kind of checked me there
and you know and said hey is this true
seeker you're the one who throws this
esoteric knowledge out there for the
masses and
and they just trample them under the
under their feet and you're just making
it playing everybody something that is
so sacred you're just tossing it out
there and putting it in song and stuff
and you know just showed me the impact
that we have to be careful and wanted to
make sure that I knew the implications
of sharing this knowledge and sharing
this info and just check me okay you
want to move forward okay if you do we
got some things we want to show you and
in all of our whole trip was
synchronized and we went deep I've never
I didn't know it scared me at first
because I didn't know what to expect I
expected what happened the first time
being philosophical talking to God
getting some some pointers about my life
and where I'm headed in the future and
things like that and and this was a
whole nother realm and I go into a lot
more detail on some some other podcasts
but yeah definitely check out the golden
teachers episode while I break that full
song down but even after that man you uh
you know learnt some things and and and
got this Drive so so to really go you
know go for the gold stop playing games
not not stop playing games with God I
mean we've been doing it we tried this
tried to do that for years but stop
playing games with yourself and then to
start the weight loss journey so talk a
little bit about the beginning we had
these encounters and that's the funny
thing so people like not everybody has
to do that yeah we did right it's our
story we own it we had to do it we did
and some people date it's not salon they
go to the gym they work out they don't
want to be fat no more they just go work
out being it's over there in shape they
want to dream you know they want their
dream job they go to college they study
being they got it some people have to
hit rock bottom some people have to have
a friend to to a shoulder to lean on a
pep talk a guru a teacher whatever it is
and so that that that was our teacher
and that was what guided us and it was
totally benevolent totally loving in
totally of God right yeah definitely and
you know even I I can honestly say at
the time for me personally it came from
a place of innocence I remember that
night we even talked about returning to
your Ennis yeah
yeah I remember just letting go of so
many things I remember having a vision
of you know like an empty swing set I
remember like you know like that vision
to me like that night was just like you
know returning your innocence returning
out that you were that little movie that
you've covered up with somewhat like a
No
then I was you know it was amazing I
never forget it but you know you know we
talked about the here and now in the
future and you know us by us living in
that woman I'm able to live in this one
because this moment would never have
happened without that moment exactly
every single one even even the the whole
Atlanta drugs drug stuff and the broken
relationships and tearing up the body
the food like you wouldn't be where you
are today without that like that is
that's your story I started I'm not an
inlet you know it's crazy because for so
long it was like you know embarrassed or
ashamed or whatever but you know I think
I can look at it from a different point
of view now and as us Christians or
whatever and like it's something that
guys brought me from it's guys brought
me through and I have victory in my life
not just an addiction like you know drug
and alcohol self-esteem
you know esteem food depression anxiety
all of it you know what am i perfect I
walk around a cloud9 every day nope
absolutely not you bet but there is a
hope there is an encouragement there is
a determination that drives the inside
of me to be a better version of myself
and I was yesterday
yeah it's so important for us to live in
the here and now because we're not
promised tomorrow or next week for the
things that we think matter the bills
and nine to five whatever like you know
I'm sitting here worried about bills and
whatever it might be like coming along
next month yeah well well I'm also
taking my kids for granted I could see
spending time with them taking my wife
for an attack enjoyment and the here and
now like that is what all this stuff
like these experiences has showed me to
truly go wrong because I remember going
home with so much thankfulness within my
I love my wife like she is amazing she
is the best like and she truly is like
for anybody that knows me like she is my
best friend from day one and you guys
have done I have been on this
transformation together so talk a little
bit about her man
absolutely so we moved to in Chicago
this is two years now and um we moved
here we had the idea to completely
change our is like you know we wanted to
just transform ourselves because at that
time we knew it was possible we felt
like it was possible if we just didn't
give up and I just remember you know we
actually tried for like a month and gave
up or whatever like I've been a part of
so many gym clubs and memberships and
you know I was paying $800 a month on
like freeze-dried particle food like it
was awful and you know whatever is your
subject here for a minute oh you guys
like every way that's out there like
selling something like I get it that's
your hustle you want to make people's
lives change though start making them
believe in themselves like if you're in
it for the money like that's cool
whatever but change it possible and you
know what there's no secret it's just
hard work so you you like kind of giving
somebody this idea that if they think
this miracle drug or eat this free fried
food you know freeze-dried food or
whatever it might be they rub this cream
on their stomach for 30 days and they're
gonna look like a model I promise there
is no easy way to get what you want
right there's no shortcuts and every
struggle every you know drop a sweat
every shadow blood every tear that
you're gonna cry through it all it's
just gonna make you stronger at the end
but going back to my wife and I man we
started I was almost 400 pounds and she
you know she was a pretty big girl too
we both were
but I remember we had it in our like in
our heart it's like a no-quit attitude
and you know what spurred this on and
I'll make a really long story short we
went on a family vacation to Alabama and
we actually hung out there
remember the or the Rodman Jersey but uh
we hung out and we took a selfie and I
still have the picture to this day but
that same day we went onto the beach and
I was walking out to the end of the
beach with my kids and I was sinking all
the way down to my shins my my knees and
the Seine because I was so heavy
remember we walked all the way through
the water and I'm sitting there painting
like gasping for breath because I
couldn't breathe because I was so
overweight so out of shape and my little
girl is like tugging at my pants like
Daddy come play with me come play with
me and I'm looking around all these
other families and they're like you know
a commercial families playing for is
being running with their dogs and stuff
they'll say then they're like sweaty and
no ideas I just sit down on the sand and
laid back because I couldn't breathe
I'll never forget that day because that
night we went back to the hotel and I
kind of myself to sleep remember before
we went to bed I told my wife like I
don't want to be there anymore
like you know I have kids like I want to
be there for their graduations I want to
be there for their birthdays I want to
be there for when they get married I
want to grow up one day and be proud of
them and I told her I was like as soon
as we get back to this vacation I was I
don't care what it takes I don't care if
it kills me I'm gonna change myself we
got back at the end of March 2016 in
April 4th 2016 we started our journey
and we have been on it ever since when
we first started I had come across this
program and I'll give a little bit of
give a little bit of a shout out we
started this program called DDP yoga I
had
kind of referred to me by a friend of
mine and I know you think yoga like it's
all this like Eastern really never um no
it's like a kick your butt workout
program they use yoga movies because
it's good for your core strength it's
good for your for your muscles so there
is like yoga moves like you know just
whatever I mean there's there's
different stretches and things like that
that you will use for your muscles your
body and all that but it is a it is a
workout and it will test you and push
you and we did that solidly for probably
the better part of four months because
we couldn't do anything else there was
no way I was gonna get on the treadmill
I was completely too out of shape I
couldn't catch my breath half the time
and this was easier for me because this
program is created for people that are
naturally bigger that have problems with
their joints or their muscles it was
really easy and it's a lot of muscle
strength it's a lot of dynamic
resistance and it's a lot of things you
can do to keep your heart rate up and
continue to burn calories and lose
weight or while you're not killing your
body while you're doing it and we did
that for a long time I think I'd
probably lost my first 70 or 80 pounds
just by doing that
so essentially you starting so where do
we go from okay so that the alchemist
talks about fulfilling your dreams and
then we talk about synchronicity like
all of these things start happening out
the woodwork just like the example of
when we went to the park and we did the
labyrinth then we go back to the flow
tank and we open a book and a symbol
that we've never seen before
was in a book on a coffee table and
we've seen it and we got chills
and essentially what synchronicities are
is the is God is the universe letting
you know you're on the right path that's
like a breadcrumb you following the path
of that the Lord's got for you opening
up doors and synchronicity happens so
much and even through the alchemists it
talks about that it talks about just
like the universe lining up and even
without the alchemists like it's just
that it's something I think
call young or call sagen I can't
remember I think it's young but uh he
coin coin determine about how the
universe is is just like the way that
we're experiencing things right and and
everything's linked everything's
connected and we start to see that stuff
and when you when you get on that path
man you start opening up these doors and
it begins to unfold it is it's a sacred
dance it is a journey it's the hero's
journey told of even by Joseph
Campbell's the hero's journey on the
story of Jesus the story of the prophets
of the disciples of this this this
persecution and this coming back to
obtain your calling and made for great
things and it's what when you find out
that it's not that these books that The
Alchemist and I say this all the time
even the Bible is not telling the story
of a man named John the Baptist the
Bible is not telling the story of a man
named King David who lived 2,000 years
3,000 years ago the those books the
Bible the scriptures is telling your
story and you identify with those people
and it teaches you how to overcome how
to face your own giants how to deal with
your own idolatry their own golden CAF's
that we build up in our lives and so
when we understand how this thing's
works and you don't you don't understand
that by theory or hearing somebody teach
it like it goes to experience right and
and so you can't buy that you can't buy
these lessons you can't buy the journey
of a Scylla of a high dosage psilocybin
journey and then you come back
understanding that time is an illusion
and all you have is the now moment and
then it rings even more true when you
hear Jesus say be anxious for nothing
don't worry about tomorrow we hear it
all the time oh yeah I'm just in a
moment
I'm dude when you go to a place beyond
space and time when God takes you there
hold your hand and brings you there
those words of Jesus the words of
Apostle Paul saying I was caught up into
the third heaven and I witnessed things
that it isn't even permissible for men
to repeat I heard I heard the languages
of angels like that stuff means a lot
more to me now when I just read over
those things we've been to those places
and you can you can it you can achieve
it through trance state meditation it's
a lot of work you you can you can be
that you can get there and and it's just
to be mindful to understand time timing
is an illusion
we don't have tomorrow tomorrow's not
promised we we don't have yesterday we
have this moment right now this space
this time and that like you said is the
message that it's coming through so to
make the best of it don't wait for your
next life I mean there's people who
teach that philosophy and they they well
I'm gonna make it I'm gonna make it
right next time or man we only have to
date and so the urgency because we're on
autopilot that's what I've termed it
autopilot of in our jobs the monotony
get up drink your coffee go to work come
home I'm tired I can't be alert to these
conversations I can't I can't I don't
have the strength to play with my kid
maybe I will tomorrow maybe I will
tomorrow right maybe I'll do it tomorrow
but to understand that we we're not
promised tomorrow and I think if any
lesson not to yeah I heard it tomorrow's
not promised but to experience the only
moment that we have the now moment man
it's just uh it was life-changing and so
no I don't think everybody has to go on
a psilocybin mushroom journey I think
that we went on there we went on those
journeys and we bring back the knowledge
and information just like I don't think
everybody has to be possessed with
demons to know not to play with
witchcraft so you
I'll come back I tell my story it's like
I don't think that everybody should be
dealing with the binge eating or think
that they that it's okay that if you eat
then the pain will go away or you you it
makes you feel better no
you deal with drew listen to drew story
he's coming back with some knowledge
he's coming back with some answers and
to say all that to say our journeys
started in a similar place and we're
still on a similar place as far as the
journey is unfolding from where we were
of me being a truck driver who was tired
every day getting up at sometimes 12:30
in the morning to go to work and I had
worked what seven hours before my family
even got up to start their day right and
to live like that I did that for 11
years man and I felt like I was I felt
miserable like the job was okay as far
as work but as far as knowing what I was
put here to do and the alchemist the the
trance state all of that stuff it it
gives you the it lets you know the
urgency that you don't have tomorrow to
do it now and so that's what we have the
impart to you guys drew has helped many
people on their road to walk in freedom
drew is helped many people on their road
to recovery whether it's weight loss
whether it's it's pursuing your dreams
and there is steps to take it's just
more than just the encouraging words we
get encouraged we get inspired but then
we have to start taking these steps
these steps what are the steps to take
well it depends on where you are so I
love what what drew offers he offers to
people who not only are just overweight
and obese and he had he helps those
people too but those people who are
having trouble getting over that that
that obstacle getting over that hurdle
of dealing with addiction Dylan was lost
stilling was a childhood trauma to go
back to to the point of pain so to
minister forgiveness and walk in freedom
of who God created them to be
and you you offer private sessions and
stuff man and it's awesome that the
freedom because because you've worked
with people who I know personally and
all I can speak on is what you've done
for me and I had Jordan Maxwell on a
couple weeks ago
and I said I wouldn't be where I was
today without this man however much I
agree or disagree with the man right I
don't agree with everything that God
says and I catch out for but I say the
same thing if it wasn't for drew cower I
wouldn't be here you know and in doing
what I'm doing I would be trying to be
accepted by church people I would not be
myself I wouldn't be confident in Who I
am and have the grace and empowerment to
do that man I went back and forth so
many times and drew drew seeing it
because I had drew on the podcast
probably a year ago now and almost the
about a year ago and we tried to cover
these topics like from a Christian
perspective and we tried to tell his
story without going down that those
roads too much right we couldn't tell
the whole story we couldn't be true and
drew have seen have seen me go back and
forth to be okay with who I am and the
person that God has made me so first of
all man I thank you from the bottom of
my heart for just empowering me with the
grace to do it and I know you don't take
credit for it it's just done out of
friendship and I know I've inspired you
and it's just mutual man but I really
mean that man thank you so much for that
well thank you man I appreciate it and I
don't take that lightly you know it's
funny like some of the best things in
our lives like they're not things I'm so
thankful for a position that God's put
me in for the things that ever will come
to be in a place to help people and like
you said I'm not on a pedestal I don't
put myself in a situation I feel like
I'm better follow me but I know what
works yeah you know and you know what
don't work - I mean that's part of it
yeah if you bought it like if you're you
know you're in a car and you're on the
road somewhere near loss you're gonna
stop and ask somebody who knows
directions know where to go I feel like
I could be at that place like I've been
put in that position
you know I've helped a lot of people
overcome different issues whether it be
addiction not just with food but
alcoholism drug addiction finding their
their main sole purpose in life and look
you know what everybody works like we
all get nine-to-five it's okay
everybody's got a job but you know what
who you always know what you do and you
know you want to be a blessing you want
to be a healer you want to be whatever
you want to be in life do it now don't
wait you know click 2nd Timothy you know
Paul's dying words to Timothy were
coming before winner
that's all he asked what that pretty
much mean oh well that pretty much means
in context like whatever you're gonna do
for God whatever you need to do in your
life do it now do it in this present
moment because like you said we're not
promised tomorrow and you know your life
until you start treating your life as a
platform it's never gonna be a platform
until you start trading your life some
kind of integrity and some kind of
character like you're never gonna reach
those places you know you wanna the best
way to possibly get somewhere is to act
like you've been there before and you
know you got giving you gifts God's
giving you amazing things like be
encouraged in that and do something
about it you know you know how to get
better over a certain situation or you
know how to do something like be a help
to others like love yourself and love
others because press first loved you and
they're like amazing things amazing
possibilities for your life and I can go
into detail there's a lot that's about
to change my future yeah just because of
some of the things that I've walked
through some of the weight loss some of
the things like that there's a lot
that's going to change with question
there's a lot that's going to change
financially for me there's a perk that
anybody can achieve anybody can attain
but it's gonna take work yeah you know
people say well I'm not motivated well
you know what motivation isn't gonna get
you there I promise
because motivation will come and go just
like 90 day determination discipline
like that's what's gonna last
and it'll West there longer than
anything else well yeah and I don't want
to go in a much detail no no you don't
want to speak on anything prematurely
but we're talking about the alchemists
and and what you know they thought I had
to kind of tie in there is that you
started out you know you read the book
The Alchemist you've seen these designs
and these synchronicities and things
everywhere you do DDP yoga
you see DDP coming to an event in your
area you still
I think you were I don't know how many
pounds you were down but you went to the
the event you paid for the
meet-and-greet you met DDP you told him
your story gave him a t-shirt gave them
a letter and gave them in and just you
know led with a prayer and left and then
some weeks later he contacts you back
hey drew your story is inspiring I want
to get you I want to read your story on
my Halloween special all right so as you
know he did that like you know right out
of a year ago I want to I want to read
your story on my special he read it it
was beautiful he gave a shout out plug
plugged your vlog you do from family
vlogging and things to documenting your
day he plugged that for you and then
contacts you some months after that
saying look we want to do a whole a
whole featurette on you on your journey
your progress with DDP yoga so here you
go reading The Alchemist get into this
place that you're that you're your own
you're following god you're following
the signs you step out in faith to go
see DDP he features you now he wants to
do a whole feature Rhett on you and even
there's some things open in the future
like I said we're not gonna speak on but
really awesome promising things in the
future to work with DDP in some shape
form and that right there is about
embracing the now moment and and putting
it out there into the atmosphere
speaking it creating it and making
something happen so this is the secret
behind the secret this is the magic
behind the alchemists because the whole
thing about this about you guys know I
talk about this all the time
spirituality drug encounters psilocybin
meditation none of that means anything
if you're not able to bring it into the
physical reality it doesn't if it
doesn't make you a better husband a
better co-worker a better friend a
better uncle a better father if it
doesn't make you a better person
I can really care less about your
spirituality or your church doctrine for
that matter
if it's not impacting the people's lives
around you in a positive way if you're
not making their walk a little bit
lighter if you're not helping them bear
their burdens as the scripture says I
don't want to hear about it if you just
judge and point point out the flaws of
stuff and there's many people there and
many paths whether you're into religion
or not like these people are there so so
just I mean I guess we're coming up on
the end of the show man talk a little
bit about your website in which you
offer people for who may be in any of
those boats like I said the obesity the
addictions whether they're food whether
they're pornography addictions whether
they're drug addictions or whatever
you've you've helped many people on
their Road and their walk so talk a
little bit about what you offer man
absolutely so over the beginning of this
journey I started a movement called hash
tag no days off I started it as more of
an idea something that anybody can
relate to whether it be weight loss all
your dreams overcoming addiction being a
difference other people in their life in
a difference in your own life I started
a movement just with an idea that
whatever I was gonna go after I knew at
the time you know for me it was changing
just everything about my life I was
gonna do it with no days off at the time
it was just something funny and then it
became something and then became
something bigger and I'm over the past
year and a half it's changed completely
but now it's gonna reach people's lives
and it already has and it will continue
to it is my life's mission I have an
extreme burden for people for where
they're at for where they were where
they're going it doesn't have to be
about morbidly obese
you know people doesn't have to be about
any of that kind of stuff although I do
feel a calling to those situations
that's where I what people that want
something better in our life people that
are always tired are we sick
whatever it might be like I have a
burden for those people and I don't want
any kind of you know nothing like
dressed up or anything like that I want
to meet you where you're at I want to
fix the problem I don't want to fix like
hey let's do this workout lose some
weight like hey it's
with with let's fix your life yeah
that's all cold smell what's gonna last
you know I do free consultations find
out evening's like the way you're at the
first consultation will do we will set
you a game plan for the rest of your
life whether there be a strict nutrition
nutritious food diet a workout regimen
your daily goals weekly goals monthly
goals yearly goals where you want to be
the next year where you want to be in
the next five years because of all of
these big things that I'm speaking of
we're all asked to me and I had to
answer every one of them and guess what
every single one of them I've met and
and and I continue to me like I'm
meeting goals now that didn't even have
in the MEC one month before and it's all
just a it's really just a gift it's a
victory it is something that comes at
the end of the long a long hard road of
just hard work endurance and I never
quit never give up attitude I am helping
people daily I encourage people around
me all the time and you know people have
good intentions I have something inside
of me that will not let me quit there is
a earning desire and me to push and to
keep going and I can speak about it all
day long and I can tell other people
about all the one about how great things
could be but my goal is for you to feel
that same burden that same desire for
you to really really want change because
until you feel that the my words for you
will never mean anything I want to be an
encouragement a support and an
accountability partner for you and
whatever you feel like you're going
through whatever you feel like is so big
in your life that it's hard to overcome
because I promise you it's not anything
is possible if you're willing to work
for it
yeah that's what the scripture says
essentially right all things are
possible for them that believe and
sometimes we need help believe in
sometimes we need that extra push of
that person who's willing to get down in
the trenches with us that's why we're
here man that's why we do what we do so
all of you guys who want to check out
Drew's work
story head on over to Drew gal were calm
and he's available for private sessions
they're free consultations and just talk
with the man understand this passion and
he's helped a lot of people in their
road to recovery and obtaining their
dreams that's really what it's about
I'm with you man I wanted it I have a
burden to see people do what God put
them here to do and uh and and and and
it and I was gonna tell you the
beginning it takes a lot for us to
understand that some many people are
even like pushing pushing the buttons at
the job and and in boxing items or
bagging groceries like some people are
called called to do do that and they are
doing that and my wife checks me on that
all the time and but some some people
are in those nine to five s and they're
right where they need to be right there
you know right where they want to be but
those of you who are listening to this
and you're saying I was made for more
I'm meant for more I don't see a way out
but I want to I have dreams and visions
and I've given up on them and I want to
reclaim those dreams wwg a wacom y'all
head over there check him out and we're
here to help
I thank you guys for checking us out
everybody holding us down in the chat
room
Adam star see brother thank you for
supporting through patreon brother I'll
give you a shout out at the beginning if
he wasn't here but thank you so much for
that like it really means a lot that you
guys believe in the work and what we're
doing here so with that being said you
guys I'm gonna say peace in Shalom if
you want to support head on over to
patreon comm backslash true seeker and
sign up at any level so peace peace aw I
love you guys Shalom song
this episode folks to hear more episodes
of the truth seeker podcast head over to
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