Psychedelics: A Bridge To Healing | Dell Henderson | TruthSeekah Podcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmwWZoUY38Q
Transcript source: YouTube captions

truth seeker and or its affiliates are
not responsible
for any strange phenomena that may occur
during or after listening to this
podcast which may include the following
heightened senses of awareness psychic
abilities ufo
sightings alien contact time loss out of
body experiences
ringing in the ears esp lucid dreaming
increase synchronicities
astral projection telepathy stronger
intuition
levitation miraculous healings and or
remote viewing
please be advised to listen at your own
discussion
won't you come come and take me
won't you come come and take me away
streaming
and now your host truth seeker
yo what is up ladies and gentlemen i'm
your host true seeker this is the truth
seeker podcast i'm excited delighted to
be with you guys
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girls men women
wherever you are man thank you guys for
tuning in to this
episode man we got a awesome show
planned for you it's gonna be good we're
gonna go deep we always do
um i'm looking forward to diving into my
friend's story today
a lot to offer a lot that he brings to
the table it's going to be good
i want to say a huge thank you to
everybody who's supporting the show all
of my patreon supporters everybody who's
been
partnered with me on that end thank you
so much for believing in the work and
helping co-create this show
experience to bring it to the masses and
it isn't just this show there's a lot
that we're doing on the back end as well
my music is connected uh all the events
and things that we're bringing to the
table there
all of the beautiful messages and
inspirational stuff that i get from
people where people say that my work has
touched their lives and
has changed them in in such a way that
uh you know birth
spiritual awakening and helping them go
deeper
on their journey i believe that you guys
share
in on that with me because i could not
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there it takes a lot of money that goes
into
taking this stuff to the next levels
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doing and the vision's just getting
bigger and bigger and bigger and we're
adding more people
every day uh who are a part of our
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vision
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this goes out to everybody from
you know who you are man whatever you do
even just a like or a share
on facebook on youtube um a review on
itunes listen all of it means the world
and it goes so far thank you so much for
believing in the work
um we got a couple things coming up i
want to talk about really quick as far
as those of events are concerned
um march 20th i believe it is you can go
to truesega.com to quote me on it but we
got a concert coming up we're going to
be doing a house show here in mobile
alabama and everyone is welcome to
attend
i think the tickets are only seven bucks
to get in at the door
and it's gonna be really fun so i
haven't done any live shows in a long
time
um because of covet but maybe not
because of kova
just because i don't do a lot of
concerts these days anyway but if you
want to see me live when you want to
hang out
uh definitely show up at the event all
the tickets and all that stuff are at
truthseeker.com check that out that is
march the 20th may 1st we will be
having our reset refresh renew retreat
again so we've been doing these retreats
quarterly and they've been amazing
we've been doing plant ceremonies and
plant medicines and experimenting with
new stuff as far as the
amanita muscaria which just blew our
minds literally
um we've been doing cacao ceremonies and
really just connecting with you guys out
in nature going hiking
getting to know you doing the energy
work spiritual work kundalini yoga um
has been amazing so if you want to get
in on that those tickets are at
trueseeker.com as well
um a bunch of more stuff going on let me
let me see here
if for those of you who are watching i'm
going to show to you this flyer this is
the
the latest thing that's kind of had all
my attention lately working on this
website
the mysticcircle.net and so this
is kind of like uh the patreon
2.0 like taking it to the next level
where it's not just
true secret stuff you're not just
getting my music you're not just getting
my
thursday night school of the mystics
you're getting events
and webinars and um private sessions and
and meditations and you're getting not
only stuff from me but from
my friends as well so our first webinar
we have
booked is with miss d wallace which is
the mother
from e.t she's in cujo critter she was
the scream queen
from the 80s and early 90s and she is an
energy worker
energy healer channeler and she just has
a beautiful
message and she's really good at what
she does but anyway
she will be coming on doing a live
channeling uh energy work with us
in a small group so for those of you who
want to get in on that i'm gonna start
it off with breath work and meditation
do what i do but then we'll have dee
come on to do her thing so if you want
tickets to that
go to the mysticcircle.net sign up you
can buy single tickets or
if you want to do a membership it comes
with the membership as well so
i'd love to see you guys be a part of
that it's going to be amazing
every month we're going to be doing more
stuff i'm talking to
other mystics and other healers and
stuff about the upcoming months as well
to bring stuff to the table
um and this is something else that that
you get as well that i'm introducing
this sunday starting uh which is the
children
of the breath it's a sunday morning
breath work with yours truly i'm going
to be leading
breath work and really creating that
sacred space where we can go in deep
together
where uh we ain't got to worry about you
know cameras being in our faces or time
restraints or anything like that that we
can
do the breath work go in connect with
the spirit of christ through the breath
with the spirit of love
go in and tap into the trance state and
go deep
to go deep to close your eyes
clear your space and just see what shows
up
and i'm telling you that's one of the
most powerful things that you can do
i'm going to be leading that every
sunday morning and that'll be part of
the membership as well
we also have readings from uh my friend
jeff walsh is going to be doing some
stuff
uh weekly ritchie breath will be doing
some stuff
as well so you get a lot of really cool
stuff taking it to the next level
go to the mysticcircle.net
to start your seven-day trial or to
become a member get access to all of
this beautiful stuff
check it out without well with that said
all that news out the way without
further ado we're going to go ahead and
jump into today's
discussion my guest today is dell
henderson dale welcome to the true
secret podcast my friend how are you
wow i am doing great and i'm just saying
gratitude for just being in this space
and
excitement here in the announcer of all
the stuff you have going on like
wow it's hard to promote dude when i
when you got so much
because when you start promoting stuff
then other stuff has to take a backseat
you know you know promoting the music or
promoting i got an eight-week course
there's like so much stuff that like
you got to pick and choose so i know i
said a mouthful and i told you but
listen that's what we got going on man
yeah i love it i love it
we go deep into your story man what what
you do what you bring to the table
um you're you you do private coaching
one-on-one sessions help people find
you know their best life and overcome
obstacles and and so many different ways
that you do that
there's a reason that you do it we're
gonna get behind that reason
hear your story all that good stuff
we're gonna talk about why you got that
that champion belt over your shoulder
but first man let's kind of just get
into it as far as for those people who
aren't
um familiar with your work just
introduce yourself
let people know who you are what you
bring to the table we'll start there
yeah sure so as you mentioned my name is
dell
and i like to call myself the true
essence connector
and what i do is my unique style of
coaching
in which i show people the possibility
of what can happen
when we can escape the inner conf not
even escape to get out of the inner
conflict that we have within our mind
and be able to integrate a more deeper
inner peace with that
and the way i call it true essence
connection is
your connection to this divine essence
within each and every one of us
my belief is we all come from the same
source
what whatever you want to call it god
source creator universe
and we're all created from there and
within each and every one of us is a
unique
expression of that and
what i do and it's for my own journey is
starting to
go deeper within to that connection
learn more about that connection have
your intimate relation
with that divine but then the deeper you
get into that you start to see like wait
a second
everyone around me is the same thing as
well in their own unique expressions so
i like to help people
to just realize who we really are minus
all
the stuff that we have in our experience
life experiences to the conditioning
our belief system our belief patterns
the traumas
it's like who we can be when we actually
can be able to drop
all those things from the past and be
fully present in the now
nothing that's nothing that's good
that's where everything comes from right
you have to be able to get to that
nothingness
that now present moment to be able to
create to be able to unpack and undo
and move forward right yes yeah
and that's the source of creation the
void as they say
again that place of the void but we are
the void as well
we're just manifesting this 3d reality
in this physical form but
yeah the good question is the question i
asked myself like who am i before i even
came into this form
what am i hit even before this that's
deep um i believe
i ask myself that all the time when we
talk about death because we're it's
inevitable right
this body uh this existence this uh
uh human uh experience it's it's it's
going to end
soon you know we're not promised
tomorrow um
but where do we go and i think you know
asking that bigger question where do we
go is
following it following the breath back
to where we came from
and that breath is what connects us and
that's why i'm big on breath work
and and we are that spirit we are that
essence and following it back so
huge questions man uh if you have you
got any answers
any inklings that
is profound what you just said by the
way about the breath
and just how that type of thing the
breath it's something that happens
effortlessly
and we don't even know it's just
happening that type of thing but it's
like that flow
of nature to flow the universe there's
something happening continuously that
we may not even see with our human eyes
but there's something
that has everything in this divine order
happening
with that and with getting present to
your breath you really get to see that
type of nature
flow that that effortless blow of
the universe is expanding and expressing
itself through us
it is monumental yeah
yeah and exploring it too exciting
like there's one thing of that well you
know it just is you know nothing this is
where we but
the fact that we get to tap into that
through many different means i think
um and explore it is is so beautiful
you know um you know and i don't think
we can do it enough
and and i and i have to be honest like
for me
you know it's always been something like
i guess not wanting to be a hypocrite
of teaching this stuff versus doing it
because you know we get into this thing
where we got clients and we're doing the
stuff and
you know i tap in with with a group of
people on thursday nights we do it live
on on the air
and prayer and breath work and all that
kind of stuff but it's like and then i'm
creating i'm building a website i'm
working
and it's so that time of like when i tap
in
as it goes farther and further further
away it's like man
i'm trying to create without being
connected even though that we're always
connected to the breath and it's as
close as your next breath to go in and
be inspired and
get downloads or whatever you want to do
it seems like it becomes
fewer and further between each time but
i had a beautiful reset yesterday
of just going in and just being like
letting it all become new again
i'll say this i've been trying to create
courses ideas where we can take the
community
how to do it how to design it and it's a
lot of brain power i'm smart
but when it comes to birthing something
i want to i want to
i want it to be organic i want to really
be inspired and be behind it
and uh and it's not always that way at
least lately until i go in
i go in yesterday dude and this is
downloads upon downloads of downloads of
breathing techniques
how to explain and take people with us
and just so much more and i'm like why
in the hell have i been putting this off
i teach
people to do it but i myself you know
haven't
been a student of going in just because
i'm teaching people to do it
so we got to take people with us man and
really go in man and
and champion that inner work dude yeah
and great mirror by the way does the
same thing i would teach people about
oh you have to connect to your source oh
you are the divine expression of the
creator
oh you have to be with yourself you got
to meditate even the coaching stuff
and this true essence connection like it
came to me
and just a meditation i was meditating
these things came to me
this this term like oh what is this
thing like what is true essa's
connection type of thing
and also what is this true asset
connector and i asked myself the honest
question i said
with this thing i'm getting this
information am i connected to my true
asset
do i feel like i can be connected to it
and i was honestly
like no like you're a hypocrite you're
being [Â __Â ] you're
you're you're teaching spirituality but
you're not really
embodying spirituality it's teaching
we there's a lot of teachers out there
even myself i've been that
it's profound information that we
received from doing
plant medicine from doing this watching
youtube watching powerful channels like
this
you get this information oh my god wow
this is amazing
i want to share this with other people
share this and share that
but it's like the main thing is
integration
that's the number one thing and in my
journey
that was the most important thing for me
that allowed me to really
start to go to like a whole nother
cosmic level and that's the integration
work
in which now like the embodiment of it
and practice in it
but also it's a different energy too and
it's more effortless because you're
embodying it you're being it
and you just do it more easy more at
flow
what people even just start showing up
like synchronistically
that are just looking for for the next
step in their own evolution and things
like that
oh i just overcame this and then
actually have a conversation somebody
said oh my god i'm dealing with this
right now
okay that's the reason why i went
through it man i um
just been i was just thinking earlier
and i've been saying this and people
people say i give myself too much of a
hard time when it comes to like writing
music
they want new music and like i mean i've
put out an album and they
the next day people are like okay when's
the next one coming out like damn it
took me a year to come out with this now
you want
like you know it's a something special
there's a piece of me in it people are
having spiritual awakenings people are
having encounters and and dreams and
visions and it's
wrecking their it's changing their life
it is alchemy
and i have been diligent with the
information
of of encoding my music with that stuff
that it's all organic to take you on
this journey
and it's a lot of work that goes into
it's more than just writing a beautiful
verse or
writing something deep and rhyming uh
mystical words that rhyme together like
it is a part
like it's it's hard to do the piece of
me is in those songs to people like we
want more we want more um
but i have to there's this um you know
piece of me
or it has to be that like it has to be
something that doesn't exist something
that
uh that only comes from being in that
flow
being in that vortex as abraham hicks
would say synchronicities are coming
all of the music and everything and ufo
experiences listen i got so many
experiences
but it all comes from going back to what
i just said
going into that like that breath working
that deep meditation
yeah when you when you go back into that
it fuels the synchronicities it fuels
divine connections
and breadcrumbs that from the universe
that that connect all of us together
um you can't have one without the other
um
you know so to to be responsible
with this information to respect it
you know that you know we talk about
this stuff nonchalantly and
and all this kind of stuff but it is
there's a reverence there is something
special
about this stuff that we're talking
about yeah man
it's beautiful it's co-creation it's
the divine it's divinely and also it's
meant for us to receive it to be able to
bring it out
in our own unique way to one
reach our audience our tribe who are
looking for
us but also to embody it because it's in
our own journey for whatever experience
that we had
to to integrate that
shift the energy raise the vibration for
it and be able to get
to go for whatever status it was at to a
place of unconditional love and sharing
that with people and shown
like we're infinite anything is possible
we can be able to go through and work
through anything
and also the fact like who is behind us
who has our back like they said you know
like abraham said the universe has your
back and it's like yeah
the universe has our back but also we
are our own unique version of the
universe within us
yeah yeah i mean i think i think it all
can be boiled down into
you know from a from a a connector from
a leader
a coach is like we spend a lot of our
times and we shift our mind into getting
information for other people
let me help you get through let me teach
you what i know
and that becomes priority versus let me
go in for myself
yeah i need to disengage and reconnect
with the infinite intellect you know
what i'm saying
really type in for me damn what you're
going through
right now i need to do my own inner work
i got to do some of me and
so man to stay hungry to stay in that
cause listen man
you know the newness wears off of a lot
of this stuff you know
contrary to popular beliefs all
everything that is new and shiny at
first like eventually
you know people get people get bored and
they move on to something else so i'm
not doing breath work no more i'm doing
this
i'm not listening to your podcast i'm
doing that so hold on like the newness
of all this stuff and we begin to just
be
seekers of those shiny things um so to
uh be able to stir ourselves up
like a marriage with with a wife and a
spouse like to
go deeper into that relationship and
remember
um the you know why you said yes and why
you're here and go deeper and deeper
deeper into that with
the universe and god and the energies
and everything that's surrounding us
that was beautifully said
and yeah i i've done that too dipping
and dabbing going from here to here
oh this is we all have yeah shiny
spiritual syndrome
[Laughter]
i call it for me i call it cat syndrome
so like
i called myself i got a spirit of a cat
would fed me it's like a laser pointer
next thing that oh yeah okay let me try
this yeah yeah
meditation helped me to like get more
focused in that type of way but
i still like if i see or feel energy a
certain way oh
what's that going on over there and
yeah it's like sure going for the new
best thing or the
next best thing or what's currently
popular
right now or popular terms and things
like that
you can see it a lot a lot of people are
using what's the word toxic
or i think this is toxic or this
person's a narcissist
or i am an empath and this these new
trends or new
labels and things going on like that and
it's very wary because like for
everything
and i practice it from based upon um
listening to loud suit away to the doubt
of the balance there's a balance between
everything and everything
you do anything over exerting is out of
balance or anything to
under is under balance so with that
i use my journey of like what what's
overly
like over labeling or under labeling and
just things like that
and yeah i don't even know where i was
going with that it was yeah
no just about bringing about that
balance man for all things and there is
a time that we have to disconnect and
go into creative mode and go into um
you know i'm saying admin and mode and
and building stuff and
and you have to you have to use the
other side of your brain you know you
have to use the the yeah that isn't
obviously they kind of we need we need
the balances
having them complement one another how
to articulate this for other people how
to explain this or
put it in a song or put it in a teaching
course
right where other people can consume it
um so there's kind of both sides that uh
we
we are the true shamans of being able to
go in pull the information out
and if you're not pulling it out and
integrating it into your life where
other people
where it's practical for other people
then you know what's
you know what's the the point of of your
your
mystical experience you know if you
can't integrate it that's a hard thing
to do
you know but oh definitely the balance
that helps us be able to
to go in and out and back and forth you
know
yeah i felt like for me i believe
that and that's the way i live it's like
one of my mantras is
life is my integration process as long
as i'm fully present
in the moment yeah yep be fully divine
and fully human at the same time exactly
and understand this is temporal you know
yeah everything yeah
like we were earlier in the podcast the
depth thing of something like we don't
know when we're gonna go
this is a temporary experience but a lot
of us are living as if this is like a
long-term
permanent experience as if tomorrow's
promise or even if
like oh let me save up for the future
like whatever it is like six weeks i'm
starting this program
say might not make it yeah
say that because you're like debbie
downer but you know you got to cherish
this moment and you know the plant
medicines
meditations when you're in that realm
with
with spirit and the spirits
which are all reflections of god as well
that's their song
enjoy the moment enjoy the ride be
present
be present so there is no six weeks
there is only
now how do we communicate that how do in
breathing techniques meditation courses
like everything that you're bringing to
the table coaching
helping people to be mindful because in
that moment they can create whatever it
is that they want for themselves
um yeah yeah
and the normal dogma it seemed like it
is like
worry about tomorrow worry about this
worry about that going back and forth
not
being able to fully just be here and be
for yourself
distractions distractions and for myself
that's what i used to distract myself
distract myself from really being for
myself
and then when i had to force myself to
be for myself it's like ah it's too
intense
let me let me grab this alcohol or this
this this porn or whatever it is to like
take my mind off of like
these emotions gratification yeah oh
there we go versus delayed gratification
you know what helps me dude
you know i'm a big bible guy right uh we
talked about that
you know we talked several weeks ago but
um
Matthew 5 to Matthew 7 and jesus is like
sharing the beatitudes and like how to
stay in the moment
don't worry he says don't be anxious for
nothing he's telling you how to be
president in the moment
listen you you you're anxious about this
program you're starting in six weeks
don't
listen set it and forget it you know
it's gonna come
be present be in the now and so there's
so many
when it comes even the money how we're
gonna provide how we're gonna do things
and jesus is like listen don't worry
about tomorrow
tomorrow has enough problems for itself
be in the moment worry about today look
at the birds
they don't you know they don't worry
about tomorrow look at the you know the
lilies of the field and how beautiful
they are in their splendor and
their majesty they don't worry and their
and your father in heaven
takes care of them and clothes them how
much more you so like all of this stuff
where like
our the world is trying to take our
awareness out of this
the present moment where everything is
created and we're fighting
to be present and in the moment even
though you are a creator you got stuff
coming up
you know schedules and all that but even
though you have that
set it forget it return to
this conversation be present wherever
you are
um yeah and and just like i said matthew
five to seven
they just practical stuff dude so good
yeah jesus is the man the whole
like his whole teachings the way his
being and just the way he throws
the way that he say things in the
parables the way he does it
but it's like those who are ready will
hear and those who are not ready are not
going to hear it yeah but
like as you can see too what's happening
is those who are not ready
misinterpret what he was trying to say
yeah yeah taking all of it literal you
know yeah
and and like and like we mentioned the
conversation a couple weeks ago that for
me i got raised
up in the christian faith the christian
beliefs and things like that and then i
had
my experience with plant medicine then i
went into the spiritual side of things
and really going into
learning more about the metaphysical law
of attraction
all these different things and it came
to a point for me at that time i was
like all right
christianity oh [Â __Â ] this like it's
it's bs it's like i feel like it's bs is
trying to keep me contained
but even as a kid with that i was
curious about that because i asked
the question one time of
if um god is like the creator of
everything
and pretty much god is infinite how
there's
only one way to god if he's an infinite
if he's infinite because like he's
everywhere
but also like the fear the the fear that
i had
as a kid i just thinking about that now
the fear of the boogeyman like oh my god
if i do this the wrong way the devil's
going to get me or
like having nightmares about this
monster grabbing me and stuff so it had
me
so afraid that like oh i gotta try to be
good
like people tell me to do or else i'm
gonna die and i'm gonna go to hell i'm
gonna be punished forever and
all these stuff and it made me resent it
as i was resenting that i was
representing my mother
or saying oh the whole christian thing
and
it just recently for myself i
reintegrated that
portion of him because i realized too in
the spirituality community
there's great stuff as well there's a
lot of great stuff out there but then
there's some stuff
out there like hold on yeah i don't i
don't
i don't know if that resonates with my
soul
it's like the ones people like you
should do this you gotta do this you
gotta do this you gotta do this
yes some of them could get dogmatic
but that's worse than kristen's dude
yeah yeah
i think like yeah one of the scariest
things is like
ego what people don't know is their ego
because it's the skies of spirituality
yeah you learn these new truths i mean
we do it as
christians like for the person who
becomes a christian
this is your truth you found something
new the newness is on it and you're
telling everybody
yeah yeah you see a man that changed my
life listen when i got born again listen
we would walk through walmart and i
would get the the
phone and i put do the intercom and i
start preaching at walmart over the
intercom
the lord's coming back he desires a
relationship listen we're hanging out
the window screaming
we're just zealots for god yeah
it's similar to when you know vegans
they learn about veganism and they get
into pita and they learn
that you know all kinds of bad stuff
that how your meat's processed in
in the process of giving it to you and
yeah and then they just
they do that kind of stuff but for the
animals
save the animals man you're not supposed
to eat them dude and they get really
militant
and then other people with spirituality
or whatever is
new your you're militant you know you're
a revolutionary you found this amazing
truth that everybody needs to know
but you know you i guess you've you've
kicked you know compassion out the door
i guess you're com
you're really compassionate it comes
from a place of com compassion
but as far as your communication skills
yeah
they're kind of lost you know exactly
and that's like one of the things i say
too is like every single word out there
has infinite levels to it and also based
upon the person's perception and beliefs
of what that word is
they acted upon it like oh i'm being
compassionate because i'm trying to tell
you if you don't do this
yeah love is is hard man love tells you
what you don't want to hear you know you
hear
those kind of things yeah and
you and i once again mirrors again of
like
having when you find this revelation
that really like excites you
and it's it's working for you you want
to tell the world
and when i be like oh here i want to
tell you
and this is what christianity as well
when i was a kid and even like a little
bit of my though
years i would tell people like listen
you gotta go to church man you gotta
you gotta go there you gotta get saved
you gotta do this stuff you're gonna do
this or whatever like
you change your life like you can change
your life or whatever just having this
conversation with jesus surrender to him
and
confess your sins and all this other
stuff and you're gonna be able to shift
your
[Â __Â ] and be the vine and be forgiven and
all these other things and
even with the plant medicine when i was
doing plant medicine i should have worn
it
yo oh my god yeah it was like little
shame thing
yeah cause like oh my god this person is
so upset at like here you need to take
some plant medicine you need to do this
you guys need to do that yeah and even
like with that one i realized too like
it's just one of the infinite paths it's
people that do plant medicines every day
and they don't they don't receive the
benefits from it you know what i'm
saying
they it turns into a commodity just like
that same person can go to church every
every you know wednesday and sunday and
not get anything
but one but when you go man you're in
tears and it's speaking right to your
heart
like it's different strokes for
different folks and we got to be able to
recognize god in
all of it man the things that we love
the things that we hate the things that
make us mad
um in every single thing you talk about
these different ways to get to god and
i see everything as a portal to the
creator you know and everything
will take us there uh an expression of
god
um or i mean because i see that
and then at the same time you know the
duality is there for it to be a portal
to the devil
to the underworld you know to everything
is real you know so we get to choose if
we want to
see the beauty in it or see the
negative repercussions both exist
simultaneously
and we get to choose um you know if we
want to be more loving or if we want to
be more dogmatic if we want to be more
righteous or we want to be more wicked
you know
man every duality exists and uh but god
is in it all that's what i'm saying
god is in it yes and he's in the
righteous and he's in the wicked stuff
too
you know somewhere somewhere we got to
be able to see
and identify that if we want that thing
to change
you know we got to be able to identify
and see and see something beautiful in
it
it's hard not easy
because once you start doing that with
see we do it with people
we look at people and we look at boxes
or how people
introduce themselves well hey brother
i'm bishop so-and-so
at this point i give a damn who you are
you know what i'm saying i'm
so i'm reverend i'm president i'm donald
you know whatever listen
that's a title that is not who you are
um yeah
and so we we address people and even the
people that we
we like and we associate with or are
they christians or they
i thought i heard them say he was a
hindu derrick are you hanging with is
that guy you're interviewing a hindu
uh you got to be careful like listen i
don't give a damn what they
say i'm i want to know about the fruit i
want to know
you know the essence of of what this the
good part jesus said it
the good person the goodness of their
heart will bring forth good things
the wicked person out of the evilness of
their heart will bring forth that which
is evil
that's everybody the right just the
wicked or whoever so
not to judge anybody um
on some facade that doesn't even exist
your title
means nothing you know uh god deals
righteously with everybody
and that's one thing that our you know
christianity that was like
we were exclusive bro like you you know
you gotta
if you ain't witness you against us you
know and all that kind of stuff
yeah the mile high club man
you know even i say that i say you know
if you're not with this you're against
us
jesus kind of says the the opposite if
they're not against us
they're with us it's kind of deep
yeah jesus in the parables man
so hey let's i want to i want to go
deeper into your plant stuff we'll talk
about that in a minute but
yeah gotta talk about the elephant in
the room man what is the
the uh huge wrestling belt over your
shoulder for those of you who are
listening on the podcasting
apps and you can't see this dell has
this huge
looks like wwe style uh wrestling belt
red red and and gold uh over his
shoulder what's what's the deal what's
going on with that
yeah so this is a story of a
manifestation but also
when i bring it full circle it's you'll
understand how
what i wear it so this happened
about i'm trying to
get the exact month april of last year
around that time so in april of last
year
myself my mother and my father we all
developed cold it we all had cold days
or whatever
and uh with this coke or with the covid
myself and my mother
were able to work through it and get
healthy and
we're back to normal feeling great but
my father got the complication from it
from pre-existing conditions and he
passed away in april
and yeah thank you and my father was in
my life
for all my life which i'm so grateful
for i had both parents in my life
um let both parents who live with each
other for
all of my life so they have that
experience but
um during that time even before the
pastor my father that's when i really
actually decided to start embodying the
true essence connection
start embodying the spiritual works
really start to i they call it build my
spiritual muscles so
when life shows up the way it shows up
you can be able to use your spiritual
muscles to be able to work with it in
some type of way so got this news with
the depth of my father
and at that time i'm like okay i have a
choice
with this this there's something that's
out of my control my father passed away
and what i usually would do is when
something intense will happen
let's say like uh a breakup or any other
potential deaths that happen that's
close to me
i would run away or not handle it i
would find ways of not
going there let me do alcohol
drugs um whatever distraction i needed
to do
to keep myself from going there but i
made the choice i was like you know what
i'm gonna fully go in this i'll say i'm
going fully in
and i gave myself permission like i'm
going fully in
i'm allow whatever needs to come up with
this to come up because i know
that this is going to burst something
amazing out of me
so i went through my but
all the stages of emotions for grieving
the loss of my father
even just grieving or even a loss but i
i called it i was grieving at peace i
was at peace that my father
was no longer in pain or what he was
dealing with and also
it was his time no matter what i i went
through the process of blaming colvid
blaming
all this other [Â __Â ] going on like
blaming external stuff for what happened
i accepted i went through that process
and i was able to work through that
and i started to integrate and started
to think about the memories
that i had with my father like the fun
memories we had and this
conversation that we had and also just
thought about the last time that we
actually had interaction and this is how
the universe works so my last
interaction actually had with my dad
was for the very first time and this is
the first time in like
ever probably like you know years i
would say like years
me and him we embraced for a long
powerful hug with each other
and like i now i'm like wow that was
sort of like the synchronistic we were
saying goodbye to each other in his
physical realm
about this and uh what happened was
i started thinking about my childhood
memories like i was mentioning and me
and my dad
we love to watch wrestling together and
we watch like wwe wwf like the attitude
era
wcw with the nwo
that's when wrestling was like really i
called it wrestling was wrestling it was
pretty fun
switching back and forth i was a kid
running back and forth from my room to
my dad's room wow you just seen that on
raw you just seen that
did you but what i realized when i was
integrating these parts
these childhood parts of myself and i
was thinking about those memories
was there was a moment i got this a
meditation clearest day from my
childhood experience and i was like
hey i asked my mom and dad like hey i
want to get this
championship belt can i get the
championship belt and this is the belt
right here that i want to get the
heavyweight
championship belt i was told no at that
time
and for me doing the work of work
through emotions there was a part of me
that was still upset and feeling not
worthy
because i was told no and
i integrated that part of myself that
child part of myself in that age
i asked myself the honest question like
do i still want to get this championship
belt
and then it was like hell yeah i want to
get this belt so i was like okay cool
i could get the belt now i actually can
afford the bells and the bell's not been
that expensive but i got i got
it's like i was in my mind just thinking
all
the possibilities it's totally possible
i can get this because of this and this
and this and this
so i was running this energy of feeling
possible for it
wow and i kid you not once i got a
meditation 30
30 minutes later on facebook
i just searched i felt the intuitiveness
of search on there oh is there like any
groups that make championship belts so i
looked that up i found this group
that really that makes championship
belts for people
and i went in there and they said
there's a post like oh yeah we're having
a contest a random drawing
to win a championship belt you can win
one of a custom belt of your choice
so i'm like i'm gonna do it i'm gonna
see what happens
i wasn't attached to it but i'm like
listen i feel like i'm gonna win this
but i was like i'm okay if i don't
that type of energy put my name in a
contest boom
i won this belt's here now i want it and
i use it now but like the way that i use
it now is
it's like my way of having my dad near
me physically like i
feel his presence no matter where i go
and this happiness
as well it's like this it holds on it
allows me to
be able to see like a powerful memory
with my dad and just a bond that we had
in our own unique way
and it's the thing of saying like
it's with parents a lot of us in the
journey is feeling like
our parents may have not raised us right
and
what i was able to integrate is my
parents
raised me the very best that they could
and they loved me
in their own unique way and for me to be
able to see
to like make that declaration of belief
i got to see
just how my parents love me in their own
unique ways and even like even now
with um with my mother and she's
in her christian belief and i see how
she loves me based upon that
what that belief cause like i i totally
understand where she's coming from with
that belief
or with the christian belief and like yo
i want to save my child's soul keep my
child's soul intact based upon
my belief and it's totally fine what the
i was like i thought
i was like i love you for saying i
appreciate that
but now i'm able to have an open
conversation i could see
i could feel the love yeah and being
expressed that way and
it all started with the death of my
father happening i was able to integrate
all this stuff now to pretty much bring
it to a whole nother level and
even talking about it then i quit my job
too in april
because i asked myself the question like
what am i doing with my life right now
because that brought
oh that was matter of fact i quit a
second job so
we're getting the playmaster story of
that one that's another interesting
story as well
but yeah um this is the second time when
i really decided to
like fully be done with like the
corporate thing because
it wasn't serving me anymore i was at
this point of
what serves me even deeper is being able
to
change somebody's life change somebody's
soul yeah or help them to
align with their soul and really be able
to shift
the illusions yeah i mean you know
there's a
there's a point in time where uh you
gotta say yes
you know and uh and you gotta and for
most of us it's a step of faith
most of the time the transition is not
some easy like hey you're making enough
money now with your side gig you can go
ahead and
boy it's usually not like that it's
usually some kind of big step of faith
and you try it yeah
and you want it bad enough that you're
willing to work your
ass off to to get it getting it is one
thing
keeping it is another because once
you're
in it things change the the
the drive that you had changes when
you're at that corporate job and your
boss is breathing down your neck and
he's coming in checking on you every
five
he's picking on you like there's a
different drive to
to step into what your destiny is then
now that you're in it and you're like
okay now what create create great okay
now what now there's just
you know keeping it is different but
saying yes man to that is is
huge and and we'll get into the plant
medicine story because i know that that
always plays a huge part did for me um
but let's talk i want to talk about
symbols for a minute man and uh you know
the belt
and how it uh it represents something
for you um i wrote i wrote a portion in
my book about
about symbols and and signs and sigils
and monuments you know even with sigils
of like
angel magic like if i draw this symbol
this angel will appear
um you know if i hold the bible close to
my heart jesus is near me you know this
cross on my neck
symbolizes the love of christ and he
died for my sins and so there's these
physical
objects that are simply a representation
of something
uh eternal something in the spirit world
something that
has a a deeper truth and a deeper
meaning but there are
physical things that we can have around
us that that uh
represent that and when we see it you
know tattoos even
you get a tattoo when i see that it
reminds me of my mother
it reminds me of so so-and-so right uh
the power
of sigils and signs and symbols and
monuments you know even looking at like
america when we look at um the uh statue
of liberty
and most of us would just say we don't
think too deep about it but that's
a symbol of a treaty of of of freedom
right
and you know that you can go go whatever
way you want with that but any monument
that you that you
uh pass up it reminds somebody that they
erected and
it's throughout the scriptures and and
the pyramids were even
thought to be some type of monument um
or or alt
altar if you will that you can worship
at this wall this altar where you can
commune
uh even in your mind to just to give
adoration and to think about these
things which is uh
man symbols and signs and citrus all of
those things are so powerful and
it's a beautiful story man that uh that
it connects you in that way and
and most of us have those things of
nostalgia
that remind us of the innocence when we
were a kid i think music is a big one
for me i listen
even music that i didn't like in the 80s
as a little kid it reminds me of like
riding in the back seat in a car headed
to the you know go do something fun
with my mom you know what i'm saying
we're about to go swimming and my mom
listened to this band
now when i hear that band or you know
it's even stuff you
don't really like it's a portal it's a
again a
that that song is a portal into a a
timeline
that you once lived you know 20 years
ago or whatever so
man i'm i'm big on that dude and again
that's a beautiful story
yeah man and the symbols it's
perfect perfect way of bringing it
together because what
what one thing means for one person
could mean a complete opposite thing for
another person
and it's like this type of thing like me
having this belt
and some people just ask me is like some
people ask me out of curiosity like oh
why do you have a belt there and some
people like i have a belt
and then when i tell the story like i
just did but the reason why it's
like oh and to bring that home is like
just imagine
the possibility of what can happen when
we just
ask somebody why they do what they do
and this be open to receiving whatever
answer they have for it
we can learn just so much but or so much
by just having that conversation about
just
wondering why or curiosity just yeah see
why somebody do the thing that they did
but most people don't do it though
you know no that's the thing but i think
people like us
we do hey man what's that mean tell me
what it means like i've just got a bunch
of symbols tattooed and
and and people see different things some
people see witchcraft symbols some
people see
the beauty of numerology like there's
different things that people see because
like you said they mean different things
to different people
and even in the book i talk about gang
graffiti
yeah if you're driving through the bad
part of town
or even a train passes by and you see
all this weird writing on the side of
the train
for the uninitiated you have no idea
what that stuff
you may be able to appreciate the beauty
and the colors and
the craftsmanship of that artwork but
you don't know what that mean that says
something
that is conveying a message of who runs
this
this part of town this territory belongs
to
the vice lords this part of town when
you see a symbol
do you see that same symbol upside down
what does that mean most people they
uninitiate it they don't
even know what those signs and symbols
mean we look at you know the dollar bill
all the signs and and uh latin and all
of that stuff what does it mean man why
is there a pyramid on my dollar bill you
know and
until you look into it and you learn and
you begin to initiate yourself
then you can appreciate or be scared
of the symbolism you know oh yeah
yeah the pyramid the eye the single eye
all these different things eagle with
the 13
arrows and it is so much so much so much
and i love all of it man
because allegory and um
you know the stories i mean there's a
reason why you just said you know we
talked about jesus speaking in parables
i love his parables he knew how to
communicate through a story
with a deeper meaning asops fables uh
you know mother mother goose and all the
movies that you watch there's a
you leave changed if when you watch
these movies because there's a deeper
essence that is communicated to you
through all of this stuff
you know exactly symbolism exactly
and that was a perfect segue to
just like the overall theme of true
essence connection as well
of noticing those unique symbols you
have in your own life
that gives you the information for your
life for you
yep that's it being able to interpret it
follow the signs
um one thing you mentioned i don't want
to get too far from as well just to get
a little bit more info
um when you went in through deep
meditation
and uh and you were thinking about the
belt as a little kid
you mustered up the face the courage to
ask
you they said no kind of hurt you it
pushed it even farther away what what
could have been in your grasp
was a lot further away so now you come
to this realization
and meditation listen i can i can do it
you see the word you use is something
that is possible
in meditation you received
inspiration an idea of something that
was once
impossible that's what faith is what was
once impossible is now possible because
you came to
the place where everything is created in
in the stillness of the breath
and the stillness of the now moment you
received
inspiration you planted it in the
universe and then you went out
and then you we mentioned
synchronicities and things that happened
you found a group
and you ended up winning and all this
kind of stuff like go into that
zero point the void into the void
i got a song called into the void i'ma
play it at the end of this
but uh yes you went to that place to
create it
and now you're helping other people find
this zero point the void and how
beautiful it is because we get to create
whatever life it is that we want
exactly exactly and
it's not you say no i'm going to the
bible god is not a respecter of persons
that's a scripture there's no reason
that it works for you and it doesn't
work for me
universal law universal principle if you
did it if it worked for you
if i am diligent and i want it bad
enough that's key too how bad do you
want it
um then it it will it will show up for
me it will
reveal itself yeah
yeah and also let's continue to go in
the bible a little bit
i love what jesus said too in the bible
is
you can do great things even greater
things than me
yeah and it's like
i i heard that and i'll never forget
that it was a meditation
and i said it directly to jesus like
listen
i remember you in the bible say this and
i was like i'm here to prove that
i'm willing to do whatever it takes to
do that that that is called devotion i'm
devoted
i'm devoted to doing whatever i need to
do to be able to
be able to do that but i was also able
to i had to go out at the level of like
oh i'm doing this for me
and you know how that can get when you
want to do something just for yourself
or
oh the statues are like there's a
greater higher purpose
that for everything and tapping into
that
it it allows you to tap into this
infinite source of energy but also
infinite possibilities infinite help you
have
the universe behind you but also your
co-creators to help shift
this planet shift consciousness shift
humanity
because we're all here designed to be
able to do that
in our own unique ways the ripple in the
ocean
i like to call it it's good man
and and there's a similar place um that
i guess you enter in through
plant medicine was it similar what was
the difference for you and
and what was birth that that changed
your life when it you know
and i guess at the same time why did you
even choose to do that coming from a
christian background
like that's scary you know let's talk a
little bit about that
this is funny because the reason why i
did it
was so impressive girl
[Laughter]
so i was able to integrate well the girl
who is now my wife
so it's so funny worked
it's so funny because um during that
time before even
like getting into playing madison or
getting started to go into
the um learn about spirituality like
meditation and things like this
my um my wife at that time she was doing
that type of stuff like the meditation
and also i was still like very heavy
into my
christian belief she bought crystals and
things like that
um to my our place that we had together
and
i have a son for previous relationship
and one of the funny stories like my son
he's like oh because he saw the person
oh what a steady shot grab it i felt so
triggered about it
don't touch it it's witchcraft don't
touch that don't touch that
but what happened was her and i at that
time we having a very
tumultuous relationship going on like so
we pretty much came into our
relationship together of like all right
we have our
we're bringing our our traumas and stuff
that we have from previous experience
in relationship we both came in with our
luggage and threw it on into the floor
like okay
let's let's have fun with all of our
stuff that we're dealing with but
the our relationship came to a breaking
point in which it was just wasn't
serving us and she
decided at that time okay like i can't i
can't be with it i can't do with this
and like myself and i explained it a
little bit in my story
it was well like for me i was a very
selfish person
and me being selfish is
because i'm the babe i'm the baby of the
family well not anymore my son's a baby
now
but at that time i felt entitled and i
felt that like people were my toys
pretty much and that included
relationships they were my toys
and if they didn't play with me the way
that i wanted to play with i would get
upset
and then vice versa so had a mirror in
which we were just triggering each other
but then what happened was this one time
for her
she had experience of plant medicine for
the first time and when she did it at
that time she came
back i didn't know like i didn't know
what was going on at that time
in my my beliefs at the time oh my gosh
she's going up there being sacrificed
during the cult and all this other stuff
that's going on he's sacrificed for the
devil and all these other experiences to
come into her and all kind of stuff
yeah yeah yeah in my mind i was like
seeing that type of stuff
and what happened was she came back and
she was feeling like she came back
feeling great happy expo and i'm like
why the hell are you so happy for like
what's going on here
and what happened was we had this
breakup
we had a breakup at that time or a break
but like in that time and what i would
do
and that's even from previous
relationship is like when a breakup
happens
i would try to like do whatever it takes
to mend the relationship do whatever it
takes to
bring things together so she mentioned
okay like
you want to try this my medicine thing
i'm like oh yeah i want to do
disappointments
and it was like a way like all right i'm
doing this as a way of trying to
um spend time with her but also to like
woo her back in like oh look at me
i'm open man i'm open yeah yeah
i'm open i'm being i'm being a good boy
which is a pattern that i had as a kid
like for my parents oh i'm being
i'm being a good boy i'm being a good
boy but i
laugh about it too now i'm like universe
you're very
you're very slick because there was no
way
in hell i would have done plant medicine
if any other way potential but no
there's no way
so i did it that first time and this is
like the
one of the very first times in which my
heart just exploded
like with so much love that i didn't
even like
what was it was it psilocybin no
oh what's this no it wasn't still
excitement it was they use
mdma like or uh plant form mdma okay
mdma okay yeah so
yeah yeah so something like that but
then there was some other there's some
other stuff some stuff they usually like
flowers and all these other things but
in that moment my heart was just so open
and with it being so open i was just
crying hysterically
this was like the first time i mean just
feeling this this intense
love and i'm like oh my god i just feel
so
great and loving all these things
and that's the cool thing about or the
interesting thing about like doing
something like mdma or something like
that is like it just gets you straight
to that point
yeah you don't go through like the
process of getting into that like with
like psilocybin or ayahuasca and things
like that
but i got to that point and i was like
okay
i'm good so i got to that point of
feeling that love all right yeah
i feel this i'm good having the after
ceremony
high about it and things like that yeah
and essentially with something like you
know set and setting is always huge with
all of that oh yeah so it was something
that was
was it a reverence was it like it was
like you're at a rave because people do
the same you know mdma
at raves you know yeah yeah and uh it
was
totally different experience right oh
yeah it was the perfect set in and
everything it was a spiritual experience
it wasn't
like you said like a rave or a party
like hey yeah let's all hang around and
let's do some
mdma or whatever but it was
this the attention the setting and all
of that so it was poor to have
like that type of experience which led
to it but this is the first time for me
i'm also feeling like
all this energy i'm like what the hell
is this like all this warm
yeah vibe in my body like whoa
and i'm like just curious like what the
hell is going on
so that was my first experience of like
just being curious with
it but then of course like i was
mentioning i thought like oh this is it
i'm gonna be
this is all it is this is all he needs
to do but then what happened was
eventually the eagle came back again
like hello
hello guys i'm back here and i still had
the stuff that i had
before even doing it that i didn't
integrate and work with so
what happened was during the ceremony or
weeks after or something
oh weeks after okay so
before the weeks after with it happening
like that i was like oh crap
i'm having this i'm feeling like this
type of thing again
and my my belief was like oh man i got
to do more of this then to like get back
there or get like that but
in the process of actually doing that um
her and i we still were coming back in
still it was still like a lot of this
friction happening
and this time it was official breakup
and with this official breakup
i was like i'm never gonna pursue or
whatever
i'm gonna be focused on me like it is
what it is
and i'm totally fine for this time this
breakup happening
is it is what it is i just surrender i
just like
i and like i didn't know why i
surrendered i just
surrendered i felt okay with
surrendering and with this process
of me surrendering this is when i had my
second experience with plant medicine
when we broke up and with the second
experience
i was on netflix looking around just
looking at different things
i was already doing like a little bit of
meditation stuff because
for me trying to get her back i was
doing medic more meditation stuff
doing chakra work energy stuff and i
liked him like oh this feels really good
i don't know what's happening but i'm
feeling really great about this
but don't make you feel great huh
i said the devil made you feel great oh
man
and then once when we broke up whatever
i was part of
i joined a spiritual community and they
did a lot of shamanic work shamanic
journeying that type of stuff and i'm
like feeling really great right now
but i started getting curious i'm like
what else can i
do what up how else can i be able to go
deeper with this and deeper to explore
myself
and i was watching netflix and on
netflix there was a movie
called the last shaman and i don't know
if you've seen it before
okay so the last time is about this guy
who had a oh
the last shaman was a guy who had
an experience or had addictions to
medications heavy medications yeah yeah
okay i remember yeah i knew we saw him
out
go ahead yeah so he had no other choice
he didn't know
what else to do but his last resort was
like all right i'm gonna do
aya and or do ayahuasca
and if i don't if i don't have any like
changes or shifts from this then i'm
going to kill myself
and of course the ayah he was able to do
it and he had a
beautiful experience he was able to
shift his life so then that got me
curious i'm like oh
ayahuasca let me see about
potentially doing this do i have to go
to like peru or somewhere to do it or
whatever like that
so i started researching more about that
and then
what happened and this oh man this is
funny because now i'm talking about the
same type of thing that happened with
the belt
so i was thinking about doing that but
oh i know that that's my next experience
for me to do i know i need to do this
and then
what happened synchronistically was
there was a group on facebook
that had plant medicine and things like
that and try to say this group that i
joined
and in there i found this group
that had a local one going on in the
tri-state
a local um ceremony and which i was like
i don't know why i just feel like i
gotta i feel like i gotta do this
this way i didn't know who these people
were
i i only conversation i had with them is
one phone conversation of all right
yeah i'll give a deposit here and then
meet us here at this place or whatever
and um that's it and make sure you wear
all white and things like that so i'm
like okay
with the soul quest no no okay
no i'm keeping the full disclosure
yeah so i i went to this place
and i went up to this place and in the
process of me going in my mind's going
crazy because like what the hell
are you doing are you do you you don't
know these people you don't know what's
going to happen
you could potentially get sacrificed and
all this other stuff but
here you are you're going to do this
thing and
i just knew i had to do it for some
reason and
that experience that i had was the most
beautiful experience it was next level
beautiful experience that i had compared
to my first experience
and which for me i was able
to start to see things from a different
perspective at that time
it allowed me to start to see my
experiences from
another person's perspective wow so like
relationships
instead of seeing from my one side of
things of like okay this is how it is
how i see it
i was able to see it from another
person's perspective another person's
perspective
another perspective another perspective
and which
it helped me to integrate that there's
infinite perspectives to every situation
you can just be able to see it from all
these different ways
and it was such a beautiful
beautiful experience for me that
i felt great i felt i came to the neo
portion of spirituality
at that time like oh wait i'm the one
i'm the one
in the matrix yeah yeah yeah yeah
exactly
i felt like i was the one and
with that i was just walking around
feeling gloaty and feeling this stuff
but the same thing as the first one in
which
i thought like oh wait i thought it's
gonna be permanent i thought i'm gonna
be feeling glowy and all this other
stuff permanently
but of course i did it and the ego came
back once again and came back stronger
but in the process of coming strong or
coming back stronger my
my wife and i we actually got back
together in a relationship but it was
a different energy because like what was
starting to happen now was like her and
i
started to do the work and this is
something different because
i wasn't at the time before doing the
work she was
exploring more about herself but like
this together
this is the first time in relationship
and there's two partners actually
curious of exploring that spiritual
nature about herself and
that seeking that truth seeking that
more truth about ourselves and
the way i felt i needed to do it was to
take more
more plant medicine ceremonies like
continue to do that over and over and
over and over and over and over and over
i can just keep going with that but
eventually for me it just came to a
point
be i i just asked myself like why am i
why am i continuing to do this for what
am i
what am i doing why am i doing this i
ask myself the honest question
why do i feel i need to do this and it
was like i need to do this so that way i
can escape my
present reality i need to escape from
how i need to escape how things are
so i asked myself the question like the
truthful question am i addicted to plant
medicine right now
and i was and that's a question that
it was very intense to ask because the
illusion is like oh it's spiritual
but then i asked a question like can you
be addicted to spirituality
escapism takes yeah forms
video games eating
yeah takes many forms spirituality plant
medicine yeah
alcohol but i felt i felt like i was
doing the right thing by continuing to
keep doing that
but my analogy i usually use for that
was
when i kept doing the plant medicine
what i was doing is like okay here's all
my
emotions and traumas and all this stuff
that's going on my life that's really
triggering me
we'll put in a nice little garbage bag
and throw it in the closet for a little
bit
while i go through this plant master but
i never went back into the closet
to clean that out i just kept throwing
stuff in the closet throwing stuff in
the closet throwing stuff into the
closet
and eventually like the closet just
started to just like
to the point like i asked that radical
question for myself
of what am i doing what am i doing why
am i doing this type of thing
and also the fact of my reality
wasn't my reality wasn't reflecting to
me what i would like to to reflect to me
and i at that time this is the first
time i quit a corporate job
i did all this planned management oh man
like i gotta i gotta quit this job man
it doesn't serve me
it doesn't serve me type of thing and it
wasn't the job
it was a fact like i wasn't serving
myself i just gave an illusion that this
this thing wasn't serving me or this
thing and it took me
like months of depression working
through it but
being radically honest with myself with
the plant medicine why am i using it
and that brings it back to what i was
talking about before about the balance
with things
clay medicine is a great tool every
single thing is a great tool
but the question is like what is your
intention when you're doing it
and my attention was like you say
escapism i was doing it to escape my
deal with my stuff that's happened in
the present reality but i
put the illusion that oh i'm doing
spiritual stuff i'm doing the
inner work it eventually came to a point
also with doing the play medicine when i
started to have what they call it bad
trips
when it's it was like so it started
today when you're not supposed to be
yeah it's pretty much open the closet
the hair here's what's going on right
now buddy
yeah so it came to the
intensity like do i want to keep having
these bad trips or i actually just want
to start
integrating the stuff that i'm learning
about it
i took a hiatus from doing plant
medicine and that's when i
really started to start doing like
meditation being for myself yeah
sitting with myself and also just asking
myself that
question deeper like how am i showing up
in a present moment or even deeper like
who am i who am i like
those type of questions i started to ask
and then eventually
it just came to this point of that
feeling that i had in the plant medicine
like that feeling of just
the possibility when i'm able to or get
out of the egoic mind and the belief
structure
and get into this place of this void
it i was able to finally get like a
little bit of glimpse of that
of feeling that i'm like oh oh
okay like this is so this is what it's
like without playing madison type of
thing
but what i realized from it is it takes
the work of getting there type of thing
the plant medicine is a great tool to
show you the possibilities
the potentiality of what is possible
when you're able to really
get out of the past conditioning but
then what happens integrative work is
like
due to work to allow yourself to work
through those experiences
to love those things and be able to get
deeper into it and this
infinite space of love whatever you get
into but then
now it's like a combination because i
first thought oh i got to be in love the
whole time
but then i get pissed off
oh not in the flow yeah i got all right
i got to take moment you know plant
medicine to get back in the flow you
know
yeah yeah well even like that the next
level was meditation now that oh my god
i'm pissed off now
i mean i got a mess i got yeah i gotta
go meditate i gotta meditate but
now it's like every single part like you
mentioned before all these parts are
different
levels of god is all like all this
different stuff and we're human
it's these things come up it's like okay
what are you gonna do with it
you have a choice of how you're gonna
handle this emotions or energy that's
coming up for you
and now for me my
one of my coolest model is like my
triggers is my next level
my expansion i just lean in that with
love and curiosity
it helps me to expand another integrate
another part of myself
yeah man a lot to be said dude um
i think uh you know i'll say this one
thing i thought that was really cool
that you mentioned uh
after the first you know plant ceremony
or the mdma that
eventually when you went back to your
regular life that returned to um
normalcy
you recognized the ego i wonder if that
was something that you really could
identify
before having this this blissful
experience and then
all the the negative stuff that nags at
you and the parts of your life that you
don't like about yourself
and all of that that kind of embodies as
the ego
going back to the bible we'll call it
the flesh the fleshly nature
the egoic part of your brain that has to
be right
that that wants to look good you know
all of these things that come with that
um versus you know you kind of used it
not really as escapism as the first time
but maybe a way to be accepted
versus if you were to do drink alcohol
or do
something else that when you came back
you wouldn't have had that profound
epiphany like wait
there's a distinction there's a place of
bliss that exists in the depths of my
being
maybe this uh mda mdma was a facilitator
maybe the ayahuasca was a facilitator
but there's some a part of me that
exists that i don't like and for some
reason i keep
defaulting to the parts of me that i
don't like
and to recognize that maybe that opens
you up to recognize listen there are
there's a part of me
that i love you know they're they're
parts of me that i cherish that that
makes me who i am
my individuality both of them exist
you know at the same time but i have to
choose and kind of lean more this
direction so
i just find it very interesting that you
can even identify
the parts of yourself that you didn't
like because i wonder before that if you
could even identify that
right even though it's like hey i got to
do more work i have to and then so you
try different ways to deal with it
eventually coming to a place where a
place of rest right you know that it's
there and you know that
it serves a purpose it's not to
eradicate the ego the ego is there for a
reason
it's not to run from the things that you
don't like and shove it in the closet
it's to deal with it
it's to have have a conversation face to
face own my stuff
and uh and to be open and honest with it
and so the medicines are tools
that allows us to see that and i really
honor that and uh and we hear it a lot
in spirituality or even like
in a lot of christian circles too where
people will be like man i just
i can't i can't get over these things
like there's whether it's pornography
addiction or usually it shows itself in
addictions uh
alcohol addiction drug addiction
whatever sex addiction
but the beautiful thing is no
you identified it by knowing that it's
something that you don't like to do
that it is troubling you listen i need
help with this
and the fact that now you can see it
maybe you could see it
the whole time i don't know but you you
see it enough to know that you need to
deal with it listen i need help dealing
with this so people want prayer
people want to you know go through
programs and just want help to how they
can rid themselves of this part
of themselves that they don't like how
do they how do they do
it and i just championed the fact that
you can see it
it's good because and just what's the
opposite
the people who do these things and
there's no conviction
the people who use and abuse other
people there's no conviction
the people who drink every night
continuously the person who is a jerk
who's cheating on their spouse who's
just all types of what we call
wickedness and there's no conviction and
the fact that you
you have a conviction or this this part
of you that you know you got to deal
with man
that's you know whether it's the holy
spirit that reveals that to us in these
different scenarios and settings and
tools and medicines that that help us
i just uh the fact that we know
uh that we can see it man and we know we
need to change and the medicine helps
with that you know meditation helps with
that
so i wanted to point that out man the
fact that you said that you you noticed
that you kept going back to the ego and
the ego was there and
you're back into your old ways the fact
that you knew that
consciously knew like hey i'm back to
the old dell you know what i'm saying
so now i got to deal with it yeah
and as you were talking about thank you
for helping to shed more awareness to it
at that time
so like for me it took me a while to
like get to that point
as well yeah because it was happening at
first i would just shift back it would
i wouldn't be aware of it happening it
would just happen like that
oh but i'll ask myself the question of
curiosity why am i
why am i still getting angry right now i
thought i first thought oh i thought the
medics
i thought doing the medicine eradicated
all that i don't need to do anything
else other opinions of me
yeah yeah yeah yeah that's that was
actually a mantra i had as a kid because
i had i believe people's opinions about
me and stuff like that and it molded me
but i i had this rebellious side of me
of like you can't tell me what to do
type of thing as well which i had to
integrate and go into
but what happened was when i was able to
take a look at that because it slowly
started to happen but eventually it came
to a point where like the universe like
boom they hit me
to the point of like you got to stop
stop doing plant medicine stop doing
this
chill out and which i i did i honored
that okay
i'm honoring that i need to be i got to
deal with myself
and like one experience with my medicine
they say like 24 years of therapy i did
like
yeah i did like close to like a hundred
and went through
non-stop 100 damn that's a lot see i've
only done like
two like as far as like going really
deep with like suicide
and stuff yeah two or three that were
like really
profound um and that's all it took and
that but i knew that it was going to
take me
24 years to unpack all of this
information
so that's interesting 100 you know 100
god lee that's a lie
yeah man
i mean hey i mean you know psychonaut
you know terence mckenna just going
through and getting the
you know everybody's different you know
and their traumas in the way that we
learn
lessons and like some of us whether it's
something good or something bad you know
i mean
is something that replaced something for
you you know and
and helped you and so it it served you
for that purpose and you
you know put it behind you or you you
you know
learn from learn what you needed to
learn you know and how many times that
took
you know we take those tests over and
over and over in life some of us we
touch the fire one time hey it's hot i'm
never touching it again
other other people just keep going back
keep going back to the beehive and
getting stung every time because they
want the honey and you just keep going
back keep getting stung over and over
how many times do you have to get stung
how many times
you know and so uh whether it's
something bad or something good
at least you're learning you know and
you can help other people in it so
exactly yeah i think that you know for
me i'm real um
a hundred times it seems like a lot in
my head um
yeah you know i think i feel like the
reverence plays out did the reverence
ever play out it was just like hey i
need
to do this to maintain this yeah and
that's like
that was me on the over side of things
yeah
and once the reference just got thrown
out it was like i was using this like
escape
and that's when like was like okay now
this is like a stimulant you're using
this to
as a way of coping with your stuff
instead of dealing with the stuff that's
happening
and i love what you mentioned before
because the number one thing that helped
me was
to be able to just say like i need help
and to seek that help
i seek to help in support groups for my
spiritual groups i'm a part of i got
counseling i got therapy
i also just um
life coaching things like that but also
what i did even deeper is just
have that devotion time with god that
this conversation
and be with myself and be with myself
unconditionally like whatever shows up
shows up and
learning more about myself and why i am
the way that i am out of curiosity
of understanding that and it's like a
it's like pulling back the yawn string
of just learning more about myself to
why i
am this way why i am this way why do i
respond to some oh
why did this thing upset me compared
before like oh you upset me you got me
mad
but it started to become like oh wait
this person
upset this part of me let me let me sit
with this like
who's who's upset right now like what
part of me is upset but i gave myself
permission to
like whatever part of me is upset you
can be upset right now i'm here for you
and that was the most profound thing to
help me to shift even more of being
being with myself no matter what because
now i'm not rejecting myself anymore i
don't need
validation externally anymore so i'm
validating i'm being with myself i'm
accepting myself i'm loving myself
i'm allowing myself to be heard accepted
and no matter what it is said it's it's
totally fine
and what i realized as i'm talking about
that is like that's like having a
conversation with god
anyway like you could say whatever to
god okay
i love you still i love you
yeah that's good um another thing that
that stands out to me too
you know we talk about portals or um
you know symbolism or things in our
lives that remind us of things
and so uh when it comes to even these
uh encounters with god because you know
that was an encounter with god your your
philosophy or
your plan ceremony and stuff those are
encounters with god and there's things
that remind you
why do you need to be reminded because
you forget
and and i guess this addresses something
in the chat right now as people are
talking they're um
talking about someone mentioned um
someone mentioned communion and then
somebody was like hey why would you eat
the the blood of christ and and drink
drink his blood and eat his flesh that's
weird you guys are cannibals
like i don't know if they get it but
obviously something as beautiful as
communion um exactly done symbolically
he says do this why to be
saved no he said in remembrance of me
every time that you meet have this wine
partake of bread and just give me give
me a moment of your time so
because we forget yeah he said do this
in remembrance of me why because we
forget we are creatures of habit
there are things in in an external realm
that when we see it it's a portal back
to
the blood of christ it's a it's a portal
to don't forget where you came from
remember that you were an addict
remember that where you were when i
found you
remember all the work that i've done
even though you're having a bad day
don't forget write it down take a
picture i don't care
whether you need to have a poster or a
tattoo or whatever
um you know the same thing with
the plant medicine because if we
remember
i don't think we have to like keep going
back there right um
there are songs that i listen to on on
the journey
that if i listen to now i'll probably
just start crying right those
songs are a portal back to remember
everything that i felt and and
conversations that we had whether it was
with god
universe or my friends who were with me
and it means so much to me i never want
to forget that
but we are creatures of habit and we
need to be reminded so even with that
just to remember
with the information that was
communicated with you write it down in a
book whatever you gotta do to remember
those
those beautiful moments you know wow
yes as i i don't even need to say
anything from that you just said it
beautifully and perfect
there's nothing else to say from that i
i resonate so much with that it's about
the remembrance of those moments yeah
and
like you said we all need those we we
all need remembering
sometimes like those little things is
remembering like okay yeah
you are love you are whatever is
affirmations or whatever
works for you type of thing is that what
works for you to allow you to connect to
that
connect to that remembrance do what
resonates with you
yeah yeah we are we need to be re
reminded and remembered and people talk
down on on statues and paintings and and
tattoos but we
we have to be reminded you know pictures
all of that stuff and and i respect all
of them and um
so uh just want to put it out there if
anybody has any questions for dell
before we get off here you can post them
in the chat
if you are a patron you can go to your
patreon account and click the zoom link
and come
on and uh ask a question there so either
or
post a question and i'll try my best to
to relay it
to dell and ask him a question um
christy's here
uh in in the in the chat and she wants
to
know your take on or relationship with
kratom kratom if you've ever uh
experienced kurtam
no i i never did but i heard about
like people i know had experience with
that
and it's beneficial it's sort of like
using something to
get through like addiction some people
are addicted some pretty heavy
um drugs or whatever and that helps them
to be able to
cope with that as they're in the process
of detoxifying so
i don't have a personal experience with
it so i can't elaborate for my personal
experience but
from people that i know experience with
it i heard that is a very great
experience with it and
it brings us back though the essence
what we're talking about even when plant
medicine is like what is your
tension with what you're doing yeah the
proper intention with whatever
whatever it may be can actually help you
help benefit you
with a balance to it yes um no matter
what
yep and i think that's key too because
um with with that discussion i'm just
reading here
jeff nelson in the chat says uh that
that kratom was a great
solution that that helped him um use it
but it
it but it is physically addictive
um versus spiritually addictive i mean
you have that but but
eventually your body gets addicted to it
and you feel like you need it
and um and so he says that coming off of
it sucked really bad
so i have talked to a couple friends who
have got into this where they have just
these addictive personalities
so they can't really do something once
maybe that was something that you had
going on
yeah yeah you can't you know like a bag
of ruffles you can't eat just one
you know you gotta keep doing it and
some people they get into a daily
routine of it and when it comes to
kratom that
your body gets addicted to it i think
that that just goes to show you that hey
you're not supposed to do this every day
you know the fact that it has
negative effects when when your body's
addictive and you physically
and uh and coming off of it hurts and
many people it says that it felt like it
was a
uh withdrawal of uh coming off of like
hardcore
pharmaceuticals you know and i've never
done that but i've seen videos and
have heard a lot of people that just
shake and cry
and their whole body aches and hurts
even on accident like
being prescribed something uh for for
pain and then
you were on it for a week and then you
know
you know coming off of it is just like
not pleasant at all
so a lot of people even use that while
they won't quit because they know that
dealing with that withdrawal
um is gonna suck so oh yeah
and yeah that's any like even just
talking about that and having just like
withdrawals just would deal with any
potential pain that you know is
inevitable
it's going to suck it's going to be
intense it's going to suck
but the thing about it in every single
moment is it's just a moment
but it's like it's very intense it's
sort of like when i made the
it just reminds me of when i decided
like oh i'm going to
fully fill all these emotions that are
within me due to the death of my father
with this intense grieving
and what i did at first was like oh it
got too intense but i'm gonna order this
food or whatever this is so like
distract myself and like
stuff down these emotions as a band-aid
yeah but then what happened was when i
was like all right
that's it i'm done with this that's when
like everything's
like boom this intense pain
and all this emotion started to come up
but what i realized from that is i'm not
alone
with this and the number one thing is
being able to
for me to vulnerably say like i need
help i need support
with this and seeking that support
because we all
deserve to have support and there's
people out there
in the world who've been through what we
are going through right now it can help
guide us to be able to get through in a
more efficient way
i feel like that's like the most
beautiful thing for all of us because we
have our own
experiences that we overcame and what we
can do is
because us overcoming it we did things
that we may have tried it didn't work
or this thing didn't work but then we
actually was able to do something
that actually helped us get over it so
that way we can be able to help serve
others to be able to get through it in a
more efficient way compared to like how
we
was able or how we went through it
yeah i mean when you go through it you
have a natural empathy
you don't have to fake hey man i
understand what you're going through no
you don't
like but for those people who really
have been homeless
yeah have a heart for the homeless
people they know what it's like for
those who have been addicted
for those people who have been cheated
on and done wrong and wrong
relationships when you need an
intercessor we need somebody to stand in
the gap listen you have a compassion
and you are you you are not just
you know i'm saying sympathetic you're
empathetic you can feel
what it feels like to go through that so
that's you know we definitely have to
take that with us
you know and say hey listen i i'm
passionate about this because i know
what it feels like
and then you have you know people
commenting on things that they've never
experienced and they're experts on plant
medicine and they've never
had a breakthrough or they've never been
addicted to kratom or whatever like
and other people will give their opinion
on something they've never experienced
and so they're speaking at an
as an expert on something that they know
nothing of
yeah exactly yeah so you got that vice
versa with it
and that's the one thing i i started or
i'm doing for myself is
if i don't know something the most
powerful thing i don't know about it but
i can
talk about other people i heard about
the had experiences with it but it's not
my personal experience so
i don't want you to set it up because
it's subjective right yeah
do this or do that or do this it's like
no i don't
i have a personal experience so i don't
want to give you wrong misleading
information type of thing but
i think you know i think with this
podcast and just life in general like i
just want to hear people's stories
and find out what's working for them
you know and uh and i think that again
going back
and i know not everything works for
everybody but we've
had enough people on here it was almost
400 episodes but we had enough people
who are like just talking about you know
how they cope and what helps and stuff
and so
yeah again the system works if you work
it
you know so we can we can find it out
and get to the bottom of it evolve
and see if it works for you it may not
work for you plant medicines may not
work
kratom may not work meditation may not
work um
but it but it does you know what i'm
saying so uh just respecting everybody's
you know what what's helping them you
know be
be a good person like be more loving be
more conscious
like that's the things that we champion
you know what i'm saying and if that is
a relationship with christ
there's a clip i used to get mad at
there's a clip on this movie
with uh the movie menace to society did
you watch that growing up
yeah yeah yeah like religiously like
every day but there was a time where
there's this muslim dude sharif
and they're right there at the family
they're at a big cookout and sharif's
dad's sitting there talking to kane the
main character he said kane
yeah he's like uh kane asked the dad
said man
we like sharif man but why is he always
on all this muslim stuff all the time
why is he trying to be deep he's like
listen
they eating chicken or whatever he's
like listen if if
jesus can make sharif a better man i
know he said if
if muhammad can make sharif a better man
than jesus can then i'm all for it
and it's like for me as a christian like
no i mean like you feel like it's just
an attack on what you believe and
the opposite of what you believe in
stuff it's like i remember like
almost being offended as a believer
listen hearing that and i
i come full circles like you know what
that works for him
and you know it may work almost the same
exact way
that you know what i'm saying or maybe
he don't need what you need i remember
talking to muslims a long time ago
muslims in prison
and uh and i debate with them because uh
i wasn't in prison but i worked with
inmates
yeah and we'd debate we'd go at it and
they trying to hit me with islam and
five percent of stuff and all that
and i'm talking about christ and stuff
and i was like listen man god's like
you ain't never experienced the love of
god man you ain't never experienced his
holy spirit and his love for you he's
like
and he straight up told me he said this
i'm not looking for a god that loves me
i got i don't i'm not looking for that
in a god and that that was kind of
profound like
i am and you know we like to project
that like everybody is just like us you
know everybody needs this but
listen at least at this point in this
man's life
he you know he it's almost like those
people who even try to sell you god from
christianity standpoint that god will
make your life better
god will make you rich man god will do
you know listen i don't
i'm already rich why do i need a god
that makes me rich you know why do i
need this this thing that you're selling
me i don't need this in my life so
you know it's different strokes for
different folks is what i'm saying and
i'm okay with that like
i can see the good in it you know what
i'm saying just like sharif's dad who
can see the good
of you know this this faith or this
practice that he's doing it's not my cup
of tea i don't get into it but listen
i can see your fruit and i judge you off
of that i don't judge you off
you know i judge you off of your
character not off of your
your the book that you're practicing so
i hope that
makes sense yes it did
oh you dropped so much powerful
information there and they just
brought it at the end like boop little
little drop bomb right there
but yeah it's what
what floats your boat type of thing it's
for me and it's another analogy that i
used with somebody before
it's like with ice cream type of thing
like some people
like chocolate ice cream somebody who
may like strawberry or somebody may like
the combination neapolitan ice cream as
whatever ice cream
resonates with you is totally fine with
that
it's not because the the chocolate is
better than the strawberry or whatever
but
we may believe in our own perception of
it chocolate is better than strawberry
strawberries crack
that's not good enough because this is
much better
but it's all good enough
it's all good enough it's what works for
you in the moment and
what i learned from myself and like this
whole thing and what works for me in the
moment
is like it changes like something works
for me right now
it i'm something else may work for me
even more
depending on where i'm at right now and
i'm grateful that okay
this thing that i use got me to this
point right now
that i'm actually ready to try something
else out but also i
i um check myself too make sure like
okay am i doing this because i feel like
this is boring or whatever like that or
like i'm curious to see like
another expansion or am i being guided
to like
try something else out new like for me
i've been doing the same type of
meditation for like over
a year and a half now and it's been
profound it's and the cool thing about
it is sort of
it reminds me of my favorite basketball
player colby what he said uh
the way to be great is to do the little
things
correctly do do those little steps
correctly and master those little steps
that you're doing
so that's what i i take that approach
with
my practice i'm doing the same things
but it's also it's like
it's the same essence of it like being
with myself
how do i want to be with myself today
that type of thing
um here's the part of the show where we
get kicked off from youtube for playing
this clip but i want to play this clip
because
so and uh and if it has any cursing i'm
sorry
oh you know i smell that barbecue y'all
know i ain't passing up on the barbecue
cause i was talking to my brothers here
about drugs and the community
and i always seem to be outnumbered so
you know i just want to know your
opinion on it you know well as i see
kevin trying to hide that reefer you
know it's okay to smoke it i used to
smoke a little bit for myself
this is the devil's plan right there
you got a father man and you got a
grandmother and a grandfather
and i'm pretty sure they tell you
everything that my father telling me but
you don't listen anyway so what's the
difference
hold on mr butler man
i'm just curious to know what's up you
know sharif be coming at us every
day you know what i mean why does he act
like this i mean what
what are y'all talking about he's a good
guy man
i drilled a little slow on that plate
hey
hurry up free the [Â __Â ]
look listen man they uh they played
everything but the clip
was looking for it cut off right at the
the part but anyway he's
right after that he says uh if if uh
muhammad can make him a better man he's
coming at us with that muslim stuff
but i think it's interesting too for the
conversation
like their relationship with sharif
there was like
what we talked about at the beginning
the zealot why every time you
around us you're always talking about
jesus
in this case in his in that case it was
muhammad and y'all need to clean your
life up and
listen every time you come around you
are always giving us a hard time about
smoking weed and drinking and all that
you know that zealot thing you know but
you know that's their that's their
honorable service to god like
why keep that to yourself if it's
something that has
changed your life if it's something that
means a lot to you
like you'd be a fool to keep it to
yourself you know like if you have what
can save people
i talk about this a lot that's why you
know we i honor people
um for trying to save you from hell
you know what i'm saying like you some
of your mother and things like she's
only doing what she think is right what
if what if she knew you was going to
hell and she's just okay with it and she
just gave up on you
like what would that say for a lot of
christians who
are scared to save face with you and
they don't want to tell you because
their
co-workers with you and they don't want
you to be mad at them they think you're
going to hell
when you die you're going to hell but
they don't want to tell you that you are
because you'll judge them or whatever
you know for that person who is
convicted
and say you know i got to tell you man
listen you're going to hell and you got
to change your life
if you don't the consequences are
eternal you're not going to hell for a
little while you're going to hell
forever
and you got to change so it was penn
gillette in an interview
a little talk he did where he was like
listen i don't respect any
even though i think christianity is
funny that it's
ridiculous like i don't respect a
christian or religious person that
doesn't proselytize
because if i'm going to hell and you're
just going to let me go
listen if i really believed that
narrative still today i would be
in traffic hey guys wait wait
you're gonna die and that's so those
people who do that even though we don't
agree with them it's laughable
you know they're doing that bags are
going to hell
god hates gays listen they strongly
believe it thank you for telling me
and i think i don't believe that but
thank you for thinking of me
you know what i'm saying to tell me yeah
yeah
i wanted to share my perspective real
quick on that so yeah
let's open another one and it's like i
yeah somebody like doing that it's
it's like i i respect that like you
mentioned
and also because i've done that before
of doing that
um but for myself and it's something we
mentioned earlier in this conversation
it's so much more power and embodying
a body in your beliefs or for me i feel
embody your beliefs and showing somebody
the possibility showing yourself what is
like
let's say for a christian to show what
it's like to be a saved person
to show what it's like to embody the
teachings and the essence of jesus of
being like jesus and
the thing with jesus like there's 12
disciples look who he
made his twelve disciples he met them
where they were at to have that
conversation to show them that
unconditional love
yeah with the smokers and drinkers yeah
but like even for like sharif on the
other level with him when he was doing
like all right what they were saying man
you're getting on me for smoking weed
and all this other stuff like that
and like it's great because he's a
friend he's showing like a supportive
friend like that
but even like a deeper like for me and
it's like my
curious cat thing of trying to figure
out like oh
why do you like to smoke weed a lot and
just being curious about just to hear
their story
or like why do you drink why do you like
to drink compared to like you're not
supposed to be doing this or this stuff
i think even in that that conversation
they kind of gave you an inkling
yeah man sharif why you tripping man you
got a father at home yeah
i heard that's exactly what i heard like
you got a father and those other stuff
but the quick the thing that he went
directly to like oh you got a
grandmother
like that instead of like let's be in
the moment with that real quick
it's like oh so what do you father is
not a grandmother
yeah yeah i was like i wanna i'm curious
i wanna understand more like
what do you what do you see or what do
you believe that my father's giving me
that you're not get it so i can
actually hear him say what's going on
with him and bring up
like the story or whatever beliefs you
have right now and have like a shifting
moment with that
yeah like hearing that it's so cool
because i was hearing that my
psychology of it we can pick it up you
know yeah yeah
it's it's great because like he seems
like
this is deep too so doing counseling
with people
coaching and you do it one of the
biggest things
i teach this i train people on how to do
this stuff um
it's confession there's healing and
forgiveness and confession that's in the
bible right those are that's a universal
truth to get it out of you
when you do a session with some somebody
there's things that they'll open up and
tell you
that they won't even tell their wife you
know that they find this place where
they can get out of you just like at a
confessional at a catholic church
dear father it's been so and so since
i've been here listen i killed a man hey
i've been cheating on my taxes or
whatever they get it out of you okay
you're forgiven
they just let them know they're forgiven
you tell them anything okay you're
forgiven
that person just has to release it so we
know that
when we sit down now now we do this on
one-on-one sessions but we do this
in life too like we take this with us it
ain't just for an obsession
um that if we let the person talk
a long enough they will tell you what it
is that they're dealing with
all you got to do is be a good listener
right to let them
tell you what they're dealing with
exactly
it's the term that is out there in the
spiritual community holding space
yeah of like just allowing somebody to
have a conversation and get it out
because
and you can see it on social media when
somebody actually just lets out what's
going on
they may get shamed and judged and all
this other stuff get turned into a meet
a meme or whatever it may be like that
but like
to have a space like that and that's the
space i love and i
that's the space that i love to hold for
people of like
getting out there there's imagine the
possibility of just being able to say
what you're saying
it's okay say whatever is coming up
because
then you got it out and you're able to
shift that energy into love
yeah yeah i mean just even then that's
that one thing so much healing the fact
that you get to release it
like oh yeah i t when i train people in
like
the the meditation the spiritual work
the woo-woo energy healing listen that's
just icing on the cake baby
like let them get it off their chest and
find this sacred space with you where
they feel
okay to share what they're going through
everything else from i think it's icing
gonna take now we're gonna minister
healing
forgiveness help you get out of it learn
you know new
neural pathways to create in your mind
of ways to that you won't be dealing
with the same stuff but
listen the hard work is done as long as
they can confess it and just get it out
of them the hard part's done
it's easy from from that that point on
yep exactly exactly
all part of the process and we do that
with like i said within a conversation
you know and uh yeah with somebody just
letting them open up and and tell you
listen you know you ain't gotta beg them
to tell you they're gonna tell you
that's their fruit
a good tree produces good fruit you know
you can't a bad tree is not going to
produce
you know somebody who's hurt somebody
who's cut is going to bleed
when you're cut you're going to bleed
and if somebody touches that that part
that you're bleeding from that's your
wound you're wounded
and uh and you're going to get triggered
when someone touches it
so even us you know you're talking about
these you thought you were healed you
thought you were good and then
this old stuff keeps coming up and
you're offended you want to be
understood you want to
you want people to honor you where you
are and respect your decisions and you
get upset when they don't and
you know when people are gossiping or
talk making fun of your spirituality why
are you upset
why are you connected with the outcome
why are you not just sitting in what is
um so there's a lot of healing for us to
do when we find ourselves still
committed to an outcome you know what
i'm saying of another person's
experience
or another person's view of you yeah
oh my god we're going deep
amen
hey man yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
so uh man let uh let people know dude
i've enjoyed this talk bro it's been
good i'm glad we got to connect and i
love being able to connect and we
connected off air
you know a couple weeks ago but i really
like doing it on air to get on the
camera
and just kind of get to know one another
and tell your story so
i appreciate you hanging out with me let
people know man uh
the services that you provide what you
got going on and where people can find
out more about your work
yeah sure so i got a couple things going
on um besides my
life coaching or i call it soak
connecting coaching
i'm at true essenceconnection.com i do
have
a podcast with my wife in which you're
going to be a guest
as well yeah it's called our deli magic
and you can find our deli magic um
on youtube you can find it on facebook
we have a facebook group our daily magic
one word and besides that that's what
i'm doing i'm i'm just serving i'm being
and
also just connecting with people so you
can find me also
on instagram at true lessons connection
one word
and besides that i'm just here to serve
i'm here to serve i'm here to experience
and here to be the student and the
teacher simultaneously yeah
that's it yeah be the uh the uh the
pupil
and the uh you know the teacher that's
good
you have to be both i i've said it many
times especially from a religious
standpoint
i cannot sit under anyone or learn from
someone who has it all figured out
like oh they're not if they're not still
teachable
um i don't i don't really want to learn
from them if they're a know-it-all
i'm not going to partake from them i i
feel it um
spiritually and i can't it's an
arrogance that comes with what they're
teaching you know
oh yeah it's like how do you know
infinite come on
i've been there um man thanks for thanks
for hanging out with me we got to do
some more stuff man um
yes sir you know i got this platform and
and i'm
looking to bring on other uh healers and
coaches and
content creators and stuff and uh maybe
we can do another podcast or something
like that but i can't wait to to come on
yours and
yeah you know be introduced to your
community and everything you got going
on there and
continue the conversation bro um yeah
i'm gonna i'm gonna play this song like
i said i would enter the void yes
now you're welcome to stay and listen if
you if it's about five minutes
you're welcome to listen and you're
welcome to leave but uh you know
yeah yeah let's buy it all right
i said i was gonna play this let's go
with your boyfriend
enter the void empty and become wind
empty and become wind
higher frequencies
principalities
these voices speaking to me with spirit
touches immortal clinton with a knife in
my back and i bleed to the scars
disappear
is
between the mind
is
everything disappear right now right
here
everything disappeared right now right
here
everything disappears right
i'm sorry what now at the south pole
there is a portal that connects our
world to the spirit world
but it has long been closed and that's
why the evil spirits are attacking
there are no evil spirits there's light
in them all when they're on balance the
darkness takes over
if you can open a portal in time balance
will be restored
what do you mean in time there's a
reason the glacier spirits festival ends
on the winter solstice
that's when the spirit world and
physical world
all right all right all right that's it
that's it um
man um i don't know
i don't know i know i know you could
hear it through the system i think
i think everybody else was here to do my
microphone sorry i think i clicked the
wrong thing but
go listen to it for yourselves guys
enter the void myself truseka
um uh aslan aslan the black magician
and uh illuminati congo for sure
bruh it's a good one bruh
wow i know what you remember what i said
at the beginning like people like give
us some more new music give us new music
like listen that's not like
that's not a you don't learn you don't
learn a at least i don't maybe other
people do
i don't learn like a a system or like i
can push a button and it comes out like
that has to come from like
going in deep from the void like that
comes from the void
you know i think the i think i think i'm
almost done with another album
it's gonna be called white magic and uh
so i've got some stuff i've been working
on but it's few and further between it's
a lot it's kind of hard for me to do
you know you liked it i love it
and i share with you what helped me to
be able to expand deeper within my own
business and things that started to
unravel
deeper and it's because like you already
are doing
deep meditation work which is amazing
that's
the way of getting there getting into
that void but just think about it
as well this idea this culture this
thing that you're creating
whether it's this music album or even a
song
it came from that same space the void
and with it being in that space of the
void it's a consciousness
it has its own consciousness being
burped through you it's like the vine
chose you
to bring it out and burst it out but in
deep meditation that's what i do with my
business is i'm able to have a
conversation with it and
able to get responses and hear it like
okay
i'm not doing this alone i'm actually
doing a co-creation with this thing
that's looking to burst through me
yeah and how can what how um
what should i how can i be able to do
this next what's the next step i need to
take
how can i be able to do this or whatever
like i'm surrendering i
i hear you you want to come through me
let's co-create this together
and a lot of support and intuition
whatever happens
that allows the birth in a more
effortless way
compared to being hard because like for
me when things are hard
it's because i'm not using the full
tools that i have around me to be able
to help me to like break through it
but it's great because it's awareness
like this is hard the way i'm doing it
now
but there's there's infinite support
available
we just gotta get into that state of
allowing the infinite support to show up
for us and to help us and guide us and
you're already doing deep like i said
deep meditation work so it's
it's pretty easy for you just next time
you go there's because we could go over
intentions
so let's say go in attention i'm gonna
have a conversation with this album i'm
gonna have the conversation with this
song
and be able to have a conversation with
him and see what happens i think
um you know i tell people
what you start in the quiet place with
god this conversation with god and you
go for answers
and it's the same thing we're doing you
know going to god the universe to all
um and a lot of people want answers
right then
you know but but i think that that the
creator uh continues that conversation
when we open our eyes
and go to work and go speak to our our
spouse or watch a movie
like that continue like you ask the
question here but i'm going to answer
you in this
ministry society gangster movie you're
watching
you know what i'm saying so like it's
continued uh in other places and so
it's channeled through a television
through a conversation that that
information god is speaking to you
through everything
because you're apt to listen and you
know that that he or it will
speak to you and so i've been kind of
like over the years like uh
just channeling that those songs
channeling those experiences
articulating my own personal experiences
and
and uh and it's just been beautiful and
i've been able to serve it to people
and i've been able to let that that
music minister to me because like you
said i feel like
like responsible with something heavenly
that i
think that i could create and people
like true seeker give us more it's like
i can't do it
i have to when it's ready
there's no music coming uh it's not
going to be good it's going to be silly
i'm not the best rapper and
you know all of this stuff um so i want
to be
i want to be responsible with that
energy but it goes back to what you said
because we teach people meditation i
i meditate i had a breakthrough
yesterday man i don't know how long it's
been dude since i went in deep for
myself
but i went in yesterday dude and uh man
it's
so good it was like the first time it
was just like
and i remembered why i fell in love with
the stuff i remember the information i
remember the energy i remember
all of the things that kind of seemed
foreign because it's been so long since
i went in
i'm talking about deep i ain't talking i
just sit sit there and say a prayer and
take a couple of breaths we i do that
anyway but i'm talking about going in
deep i did it yesterday i came out with
all kinds of stuff
um it's me trying to create it versus
like just go get it
you know and say hey what do you want to
say you're a channel
what do you want to say like okay what
are you talking to god spirits demon
listen we're going to channel it through
god and whatever
his order of hierarchy of angels that
want to come through and and give you
this information
um be responsible it is love it is light
it is healing
um and yesterday dude i had breakthrough
and uh
it makes me emotional but like it's good
dude and i
it could have been years since i've done
that like that's the
thing it could have been years since
i've done it it probably has been a year
um i go through i go similar places with
on sessions with people but that's for
them
you're holding space for me uh
to go in that deep and there's you know
you can there's levels to it
going back to the bible the inner court
the outer court
and the holy of holies and you got to go
in
as the priests after the order of
melchizedek this maldekian order
you got to put on that robe of
righteousness
the robe of intention throw off all
expectation and go in for yourself and
it's been a long time since i did it
i did it yesterday i got chills talking
about it now i'm excited to keep going
in deeper and deeper and deeper and
to renew my passion for this thing you
know what i'm saying yeah
that's where that music came from you
know that's where all of this stuff
comes from so
to try to switch it up now why
you know there's no reason to switch it
up now we gotta
you know return to your first love
remember why you got started listen come
on
um yeah yeah yeah
buddy fill up that cup
wow that's music if that's courses if
that's breath work listen i just want to
be a conduit for whatever
you know so i love it
i love it and we got to teach in so and
the reason i say that i'm
i'm i'm i'm testifying like in church
i'm testifying
because what god did for me he can do
for you
you can go in and you can commune with
your destiny your life's purpose
the angels that are watching over you
that are the bible says that there's
angels sent to watch over and to
minister
to those there are ministering
experience sent to those who are to
inherit salvation like they they have
tools they're they're helping you you
can go
and get information from this place
where all information exists
it's a book of remembrance it's the
akashic whatever you want to call it
and we got access to that and so for us
not to
uh access it and try to do it upon our
own you could do it you can make
up some really cool stuff and but listen
yeah when you got the help of
of all of eternity behind you come on
it's different level yeah so i don't
take any responsibility for that you
know what i'm saying i don't take any
credit for that i'll say that like
because i'm benefiting benefiting from
it just like everybody else is
i'm just a conduit and i've said yes and
so when you say yes it's kind of the
same thing and then we get enough people
saying yes listen
we change like the earth is going
through a spiritual awakening because
we're saying
yes people's lives are being
wrecked with god's love and majesty
through all of this stuff that we're
creating through the plant medicines
that carry this ancient message
of love and of intention and of the now
moment and it's embodied through
religion it's embodied
through art and through music and
through all so much stuff
that we're carriers of this sacred flame
i'm excited about the future so yeah
man i just started saying this more
recently of
i'm the bridge and the bridge made in my
experience
uh on both spectrums which i mentioned
before
being strictly christian and strictly
spiritual
but now it's like i'm a bridge of just
embodying
everything on my journey i'm the
embodiment of my journey to be able to
show the possibility of what can happen
by you embodying it
but also like you said surrender into
that higher power
of really just being a humility like
okay yeah i'm
in this physical world i'm doing this
coaching business or for you you're
doing your music
your your own classes and those type of
stuff but
you're allowing yourself to be a channel
to allow
god to express that energy
through you in a powerful powerful way
and with with humility saying this is
not this is not me
this is this is god coming through me
i'm just a conduit
i'm a conduit of something far bigger
that's here to help ship humanity
it's a bigger purpose it's bigger than
me it's bigger than you it's a bigger
plan
than all of us this is the buying order
of what's happening
right now and we're just playing our
part it's another thing i said
i said it a long time ago i got this
from doing plant medicine i said
i'm just a special note in this symphony
called
universal life universe unity
consciousness
that's it that's why you that's why you
find those similarities
you know throughout everything i and you
know and i find it in the bible because
i'm looking for it but but it's
hermetic principles it's um universal
law
and uh and it's so weird and i've loved
just what this this podcast has allowed
me to talk to
you know hundreds of people now um that
i would have never spoke with and
and they don't know anything about my
journey they don't they wasn't raised in
church they don't know christianese but
like
it's the same journey they've come to
the same conclusions about life about
god about
reality um from a different perspective
and standpoint
and then so people say you know do all
paths lead to god
it led us there you know we may have
took
you know i'm saying different paths and
deviated but when you come to this
oneness man
and it's a path of love it is a path of
acceptance
um but yeah they i
i know something greater is there you
know that we've tapped into something
universal
it ain't just for me it's not just for
christians you know what i'm saying it's
not just for whoever
new agers like it's for everybody and i
find
that echoed through many leaders and
teachers over
over uh the years um a big one i always
talk about people i sound like a broken
record but i always want to say it
billy graham the greatest evangelist of
our day had come to this
conclusion at the end of his life man
talking about how god has a people
for his namesake that are in other
religions he said they might be in islam
they might be hindus
they may have never even heard the name
of jesus he said but they are
part of the body of christ so to hear
the greatest evangelist of our day man
you know what i'm saying like
come to that conclusion at the end of
his life and and it was just like
profound and which is like validated
like this awakening you know what i'm
saying this conscious awakening that
god loves everybody yeah
and it is awakening maybe everybody has
to come to that epiphany
i read the bible and uh you know peter
had to come to that epiphany because
they were like well you know god only
deals with jews
and so god came to him and sent an angel
to speak to him in a dream
gave him this dream of this this uh
prayer shawl the sheep that comes down
with all
these animals on it and the animals that
were on it were animals that
they call it unclean that they wouldn't
eat and god says take these
animals and eat and he's like what are
you saying we're not doing the law no
more we're not jewish no more
and then it says he comes to find out
that the interpretation
was that no man it says man it doesn't
it has nothing
that vision had nothing to do with food
the animals were symbolic that you
called people animals jesus called a
woman a dog just so you guys know that
and we got to see how deep in that they
would not associate with them
but it changed god speaks through peter
and says listen
the person that you was calling the pig
the person you called the donkey and you
did not associate with
i am not a respecter of persons and you
need to go and deal with this
person you called a dog he's just like
you and it opened up the door for this
beautiful message
of of god's love to go to the gentile
nations
and everyone was included and it had to
come through a dream it had to come
through a vision
and many of us deal with those same
those same um
again the card hello i'm a i'm a hindu
or you can't you're not welcome in our
church or
i can't you know man it is a profound
and we have different ways of getting
there but that's how i got there
you know yeah man infinite ways to the
same destination
eventually we are going to get there
anyway like we said before we all gonna
eventually
graduate from this physical body yeah to
reunite with god anyway so
we all go to that same destination
eventually anyway
this is temporary man and i would hate
to like you know i'm saying die and we
get on the other side and like
man why would you why would you so
bitter man why did you why did you you
didn't learn dude and i gave you plenty
of chances
to graduate to move to the next level
i'm not big on reincarnation to be
honest with you but i am
big on that this life is to prepare us
for something greater on the other side
that this is some people would say a
simulation
i would say a test you got 90 years or
supposedly 40 years whatever you get
this is your test to find out
when you wake up and you unplug from the
matrix listen okay you passed the test
come over here i got some more things i
want to show you there's more
responsibility for you to
have on the other side that's how people
become masters
some people maybe get sent back as a
spirit teacher
for your ancestral line jesus was taught
by
the great cloud of witnesses and that
moses
and elijah appeared to him and he would
have commun he would communicate with
them
like that you have to graduate to be
able to teach from beyond the grave
i mean come on we're getting deep in uh
man listen we got roles man so listen be
enjoy the process you know respond with
love man
everybody is an extension of who you are
um yeah
and let's co-create heaven together
let's do it and let's do it together we
are spirit we are breath let's do this
i'm gonna come
count down from three when i count down
from three we're going we're gonna end
this
session with a breath together
three-part breathing we're gonna breathe
in
at the peak of the bread we're gonna
breathe them through the nostrils at the
peak of the breath
i just want you to say an inward thank
you to god to the holy spirit to your
guides to your ancestors to your enemies
you're at one with everything so you're
gonna breathe in thank you
to the all and then we're gonna simply
exhale
ready guys three two one breathing deep
thank you and release
that's it thanks for hanging out guys
bunch of stuff coming up go to the
website troopsticker.com
the mysticcircle.net we're going to be
doing breath work sunday morning we're
going to go deep i got a bunch of
cool techniques that we're going to do
how to stimulate the third eye
uh there's some uh some mantras and
things and some uh
mudras that i want to teach you guys
that we're all doing we just didn't know
that we're doing
it's going to be good we're going to
consciously create sunday morning you
get access to it all
the miss